Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- links tagged 'ISO'

Headlines matching 'ISO'

Wed February 08, 2012

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons (orlandosentinel.com)	(25)

Tue February 07, 2012

		Speaking of movies, which new movie do you think you'll see this weekend: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Safe House, The Vow, or Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D (fark.com)	(173)
		Harrison Ford not in talks for new Blade Runner after all. Mysterious origami unicorn falls over (deadline.com)	(53)

Mon February 06, 2012

		They need ya, Decks, this is a bad one, the worst yet: Harrison Ford reportedly in talks for Ridley Scott's new Blade Runner (denofgeek.com)	(64)
(Some Guy)		"Told you cheaters never win111" James Harrison and Twitter - a marriage made in heaven (kansascity.sbnation.com)	(83)

Sun February 05, 2012

CAN the Giants shock the world again? WILL the Patriots avenge their defeat from four years ago? HOW MANY FARKers will succumb to alcohol poisoning this year? THIS is YOUR Super Bowl XLVI Discussion Thread. (Kickoff @ 6:30 EST on NBC) (scores.espn.go.com)

(3858)

Fri February 03, 2012

		Canadian Senator wants to give prisoners the option of being in the loop (ctv.ca)	(143)
		Jewish Indiana Jones faces 20 years in prison. He chose...poorly (msnbc.msn.com)	(94)

Tue January 31, 2012

(Some Guy)	I'm not saying Rodney Harrison threw Asante Samuel under the bus, but Rodney Harrison threw Asante Samuel under the bus (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(8)
	The more you know: Woman who drank donkey semen in never-to-be-aired Fear Factor episode confesses "It's a lot thicker" than the human variety (tmz.com)	(156)
	Famed British actor Ian Abercrombie dies at 77, his seven Seinfeld episodes imbedded his unique character in our memory forever (washingtonpost.com)	(63)
	Illinois needs more female prison guards. Giggity (qctimes.com)	(26)
	Don't let their oppressive shyness, lack of collaboration skills, unwillingness to speak up, and self-imposed isolation fool you -- introverts can be a real benefit to the workplace (npr.org)	(291)

Mon January 30, 2012

Romney credits change in tactics for Florida surge. And by "tactics" he means "all negative, all the time, flood the airwaves, take no prisoners, outspend everyone by a margin of 7 to 1" (boston.com)

(71)

Sun January 29, 2012

This week's Mugshot Roundup features some retarded tattoos, a bunch of drunks, plenty of mustache wax, and someone who keeps a disorderly house (thesmokinggun.com)

(108)

Sat January 28, 2012

In today's episode of "This Should End Well": Syrian rebels capture 7 Iranians, including 5 members of the Revolutionary Guard, in Homs (news.com.au)

(53)

Fri January 27, 2012

		NBC considers pulling stunt from upcoming Fear Factor episode claiming it's in bad taste. Well duh, everybody knows donkey semen tastes like ass (tmz.com)	(159)
		Joran Van Der Sloot's health deteriorating in new Peruvian prison, still doing better than Natalee Holloway and Stephany Flores (dailymail.co.uk)	(69)
		Alcatraz fighting tourists trying to break into historic prison in search of fictional room seen in TV show. Bat cave isn't real, morons (dailymail.co.uk)	(125)

Thu January 26, 2012

		Now THIS is how you troll: NC death row inmate writes letter to his hometown paper describing his "life of leisure" in prison and closing with the line "Kill me if you can suckers. Ha Ha " (abcnews.go.com)	(142)
		"Let's go around the room. Tell us what you're in prison for." "Rape." "Murder." "Red-light camera theft." "Making faulty tits." "Robbed a ba-- wait, dude, what?" (cbc.ca)	(30)
		Grieving could be added to a list of legitimate medical disorders. You'll get over it (with the help of these pills) (nytimes.com)	(72)

Wed January 25, 2012

(Some Guy)

You know who is taking your jobs? Prisoners. Here's a list of US Corporations using prisoners to turn a profit (avoiceformen.com)

(85)

Tue January 24, 2012

		If you suspect a teenager of ding-dong-ditching you, firing your handgun in the air and then holding him prisoner at gunpoint until the police arrive is not a measured response (nypost.com)	(110)
(Some Happy Guy)		Leading researcher says magic mushrooms could treat depression, details results of study involving seven pink unicorns, two rainbow colored Andean mountain goats and a really long chat with Jim Morrison's ghost (tgdaily.com)	(124)

Sun January 22, 2012

		Make your own Cyclops visor for under $30 (io9.com)	(32)
		Hmm, wonder why she got prison. clicks AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH OH NOOOO GET THE BLEACH (orlandosentinel.com)	(149)

Fri January 20, 2012

		NTSB says near mid-air collison caused by air traffic controller who apparently hadn't picked that week to give up drinking (news.yahoo.com)	(36)
		Man released from prison into cold, cruel world wearing only shirt, underwear and socks (upi.com)	(41)

Thu January 19, 2012

Not news: Judge spares teenage burglar from prison time and congratulates him because he had "got off his backside to work". Fark: The teen clubs baby seals to death for a living (dailymail.co.uk)

(79)

Wed January 18, 2012

		An Al-Qaeda magazine was found smuggled into Guantanamo Bay prison. No word if it was an issue of Internet Tough Guy (dailymail.co.uk)	(69)
		Deion Sanders' wife files for divorce, says he "suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder." Well duh (content.usatoday.com)	(52)

Tue January 17, 2012

		10 really bizarre brain disorders. How people can enjoy Jersey Shore or Teen Mom not on the list (io9.com)	(60)
		Recent study isolates the cause of the vast wealth inequity that exists in America today. I won't name names here, but let's just say he had a thing for starting wars in the desert and dressing up in flight suits (washingtonpost.com)	(270)
		In hindsight, prison probably wasn't the best place to be tripping balls on LSD (startribune.com)	(62)

Mon January 16, 2012

		Ten scientific and technological visionaries who experimented with drugs. Don't do drugs kids...or you'll end up like Thomas Edison or Bill Gates (io9.com)	(73)
		Eddie's isolated guitar track from "I'm The One" off Van Halen's first album. This should spawn a rational discussion (youtube.com)	(84)
		Montecristo to be bombed with poison, still taste better than a Cuban (telegraph.co.uk)	(11)
		Today's episode of "amazing NASA photographs from space, or rejected porn star names?" brought to you by: the Hubble Bubble, the Dusty Dwarf, Moon Shot (news.nationalgeographic.com)	(19)

Sun January 15, 2012

In an effort to isolate themselves from everybody, Iran says that any OPEC country that tries to increase oil production to offset any Iranian oil embargo will be considered an "unfriendly act" (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)

(168)

Sat January 14, 2012

		Guy claims he made this video for $150. For comparison Green Lantern cost $200,000,000.00 (youtube.com)	(88)
		Another family discovers they can't afford the power bills or the property tax on the big new home built for them in an "Extreme Makeover" episode (azcentral.com)	(215)
		Experts agree: this is the single greatest episode of Girl Parking (Not safe for work language) (liveleak.com)	(84)

Thu January 12, 2012

	Labor Department offers $20 million in grants for organizations to help former prisoners find work so they can get their lives back in order. Surprisingly even Fox News doesn't have a problem with this (foxnews.com)	(77)
(Some Guy)	High school girls get a motherf**king mysterious disorder that's very similar to Tourette's Syndrome (wgrz.com)	(80)
	In this week's enthralling episode of "Muslim in 'Merika," we meet a Connecticut college student hunted down by the FBI after her school reported her as a terrorist for making a sexual harassment claim (hosted.ap.org)	(122)
(Some Guy)	ACLU: 92% of Gitmo detainees were never Al Qaeda. 86% turned over to coalition forces for a bounty. Youngest was 13. Oldest was ... 98. Over 200 FBI Agents reported abusive treatments. Bush released 532 prisoners. Obama: 68. 171 left (aclu.org)	(178)

Wed January 11, 2012

		Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of "The Supremes vs. America," where the Black-Robed Cabal declares arbitration clauses are people, too (npr.org)	(107)
		Steelers LB James Harrison had no choice but to tackle Broncos WR Eric Decker low in a hit that sprained Decker's MCL, says butthurt Steelers fan. Wait, did I say butthurt Steelers fan? I meant John Elway (content.usatoday.com)	(98)
		Arrested man climbs out of back seat, steals town's only squad car, radios in to HQ asking where the cigarette lighter and key to handcuffs are. All this and more on the next episode of "Blues Brothers in Mayberry" (indystar.com)	(18)

Tue January 10, 2012

		We who live in prison, and in whose lives there is no event but sorrow, have to measure time by throbs of pain, and the record of bitter moments (slate.com)	(65)
		Wells Fargo-hating "skateboard bandit" gets eight years in pound-me-in-the-thrash prison (blog.sfgate.com)	(41)

Mon January 09, 2012

Charlie Sheen shared a few revelations over the weekend: he's not crazy anymore, 2011 was just an episode, and he's now just a goddess-less single man hanging with his kids. Oh, and then he shared a Playboy twitpic (bittenandbound.com)

(26)

Sat January 07, 2012

Mae Jemison, America's first black female astronaut and famed for her cameo on ST:TNG, named to head DARPA's 100-year starship project (bbc.co.uk)

(65)

Fri January 06, 2012

Marine biologist could get 20 years in prison and a half million dollars in fines. Her crime? Feeding whales (sfgate.com)

(74)

Thu January 05, 2012

		Fatty McFat-fat goes full James Harrison ... on the high school basketball court (rivals.yahoo.com)	(165)
(Some Guy)		"I want her to go to prison where she can get help, where she can't do drugs or have anything bad (happen) to her." Heh, looks like someone never watched Oz (kirotv.com)	(35)

Wed January 04, 2012

		Poisoned pussy kills billionaire in China (news.yahoo.com)	(55)
		Misogyny? In my video game? It's more likely than you think (forbes.com)	(165)

Tue January 03, 2012

		Mitt Romney: "Obama will make us a welfare state, he will poison the spirit of America, and he will keep us from being a Nation Under God. He's also the great divider and I'm an optimist" (washingtonpost.com)	(133)
		Man in prison for stealing vehicles escapes by stealing a vehicle (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(41)

Sat December 31, 2011

(Some Guy)	Key West -- which writers Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, Robert Frost, Judy Blume, Robert Stone, Jim Harrison, Maria Bishop, Mark Childress and others have called home -- is down to one bookstore. Sad easily trumps Florida (keysnet.com)	(142)
	FLDSers pledge to not have sex until their leader, serving a life sentence, is released from prison. Ok guys, we're gonna have to release Warren now, or else the loons will stop breeding (deseretnews.com)	(118)
	Prison inmates have registered with the IRS as tax preparers. Will take payments in cash, candy bars, cigarettes (usatoday.com)	(27)

Fri December 30, 2011

Subby went to a football game and a basketball game broke out. Thursday Baylor defeated UW 67-56. In comparison Wednesday the #7 Baylor basketball team won 54-52 (scores.espn.go.com)

(53)

Wed December 28, 2011

"If you could choose anyone to host a New Year's Eve special, who would it be? Would you go the obvious route and pick Alison Brie? Would you reunite the casts of Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Party Down to do the honors?" (warmingglow.uproxx.com)

(113)

Mon December 26, 2011

This day in 1970, George Harrison goes to #1 with "He's So Fine/My Sweet Lord" (youtube.com)

(51)

Sat December 24, 2011

12 years ago The West Wing had a Christmas episode that was among the most touching and moving ever. Here's the final scene (youtube.com)

(73)

Fri December 23, 2011

(Coventry Telegraph)

Man gets two years in prison for selling cocaine while being drunk and dressed as The Incredible Hulk, after police caught him green-handed (coventrytelegraph.net)

(22)

Wed December 21, 2011

		Harrison Ford signs on for "Ender's Game." He belongs in a museum (insidemovies.ew.com)	(110)
		Bradley Manning's Klinger photos ignored by army, now hotlips on prison radar for hawkeye pierce (openchannel.msnbc.msn.com)	(112)
		Far from turning the town of Wukan into a smoking crater, Chinese authorities are actually caving in to the town's demands and are giving them their prisoners and some of their land back (washingtonpost.com)	(21)
		Well it's Bud the Spud from the bright red mud, still languishing in Lebanese prison. The times are grim, and his hopes are dim because the Holidays and Hassan's coming. The Holidays and Hassan's coming (torontosun.com)	(28)

Tue December 20, 2011

		2011's worst predictions: Qaddafi says rebels will lose, Karl Rove says Palin will run, Conde Naste calls Libya a tourist hot spot, preacher claims the world will end, and...Thomas Edison says taxis will be made of solid gold? (foreignpolicy.com)	(29)
		Uploader of pirate copy of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" sentenced to one year in federal prison. Hasn't he been punished enough? (bbc.co.uk)	(177)

Mon December 19, 2011

(Some Guy)		"It used to be that I got home from work and the only thing I'd want to put in my mouth was the cold barrel of my grandfather's shotgun. Then I discovered Sonia Allison's Chicken Tetrazzini, and now there are two things" (amazon.com)	(38)
		For the first time in forty years America's prison population has actually decreased. Either the costs of locking up non-violent offenders is to blame, or Obama is releasing them to rape your women and children (economist.com)	(69)

Sun December 18, 2011

		When Harvey Stewart first went to prison 60 years ago, gasoline was 20 cents a gallon, a postage stamp cost three pennies and Harry Truman was president. After parole all he wants is "a good easygoing meal and a rootbeer" (chron.com)	(112)
(Library of Congress)		Your comparison is invalid because the poetry of the young Barack Obama is far better than the poetry of the young Jimmy Carter, whose work is Vogon-level at best (loc.gov)	(51)

Fri December 16, 2011

(Death & Taxes)	AshleyMadison.com endorses Newt Gingrich with a billboard: "Faithful Republican, unfaithful husband" (deathandtaxesmag.com)	(76)
	12 rectal exams a day is a job outside of prison, too? (sun-sentinel.com)	(29)
	Ever wonder what happened to that Browns fan that got bodyslammed a few years back? Me neither, but it turns out James Harrison knocked some sense into him (cleveland.com)	(48)

Thu December 15, 2011

		What, you expected Lindsay Lohan's little sister to grow up without some kind of debilitative eating disorder? (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(156)
(doctorwhotv.com)		Steven Moffat reveals that Season 7 of Doctor Who will not have any two-part episodes (doctorwhotv.co.uk)	(58)

Wed December 14, 2011

		Man scours Google Street View for the most isolated, desolate, forlorn street scenes from around the world. Many strangely disquieting yet thrilling, like when I drive over to your mom's house (shortlist.com)	(70)
		President Obama's senior advisors recommend he not veto NDAA bill that would make you safe, citizen. Continue on (huffingtonpost.com)	(326)
		Prisoner given bipolar medication even though he's not bipolar, causing him to go blind and have all of his skin blister, blacken and slough off. Now he's going to need some anti-depressants too (startribune.com)	(124)
		Harrison to appeal suhspension, saying he was just trying to maintain his balance using McCoy's head (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(241)

Sun December 11, 2011

(Some TARDIS Databanks)		Two lost 1960s Doctor Who episodes have been recovered by the BBC - watch clips of classic Who no one has seen in forty years to the left, complain about how they're not emo or sparkly enough to the right (tardisdatabanks.com)	(116)
		Van Morrison's 44-year old girlfriend and mother of his youngest child, Gigi Lee, dies of cancer. Michelle Rocca, Van's wife and mother of his two other children, can hopefully help Van deal with this tragedy (dailymail.co.uk)	(49)

Sat December 10, 2011

Not news: woman wants to convince her husband to move to a better neighborhood. News: She fakes her own rape to do it. Fark: She's a prison psychologist (newsobserver.com)

(81)

Fri December 09, 2011

(Some Guy)		BREAKING NEWS: James Harrison still doesn't understand NFL rules regarding helmet-to-helmet hits (waitingfornextyear.com)	(144)
		Supervisors banish DoE whistleblower and his little red stapler to the basement (washingtonpost.com)	(37)

Thu December 08, 2011

(Pajiba)

Tonight, NBC will air the last episode of Community, perhaps ever. In its honor, here are the top 10 episodes of one of the funniest and most innovate comedies of the past few decades (pajiba.com)

(213)

Wed December 07, 2011

		Mitt Romney: "I'll name my cabinet before I'm elected". US Federal Law: "If you do, you'll be fined or imprisoned" (content.usatoday.com)	(119)
		See three men attempting to load a 3000-pound commercial oven, on the next episode of Tortilla Flats (miamiherald.com)	(18)

Tue December 06, 2011

In this week's episode of "Really Tough to Figure out Who to Root For", BP accuses Halliburton of destroying evidence in Deepwater Horizon spill (guardian.co.uk)

(28)

Mon December 05, 2011

		Ron Santo finally voted into Cooperstown by the Veterans Committee. It's heel clicking time at Sheffield and Addison (washingtonpost.com)	(123)
(wtsp)		Door to door breast examiner gets 13 months in prison to practice prostate exams (wtsp.com)	(15)

Sun December 04, 2011

Lawyer is not feeling irie after he's awarded only $1.50 for successfully defending the religous right of a prisoner to not have his dreadlocks touched by guards (nydailynews.com)

(29)

Sat December 03, 2011

Eating Disorder? You were raped by a Satanic cult. Anxiety? Raped by a Satanic cult. Tension? Fear? Sad? Cult, cult, cult (foxnews.com)

(120)

Thu December 01, 2011

		Oldest Holocaust archive features gifts for under the National Socialist Christmas tree: Nazi Viewmasters, childrens' books on how to identify Jews like poisonous mushrooms, and the delightful "Juden Raus" board game (bbc.co.uk)	(91)
		Afghani rape victim, imprisoned for adultery, pardoned by Hamid Karzai after agreeing to marry her attacker. Yeah we really improved that country (bbc.co.uk)	(215)

Wed November 30, 2011

(Some Guy)	Burrito results in lock-down of prison. In 2005, in Clovis, NM, a burrito resulted in lock-down of a school. The burritos must be stopped (lcsun-news.com)	(38)
	The mayor of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada hires a Senior Military Advisor, plans invasion of other Canadian cities you've never heard of (thespec.com)	(44)
(Some Diggler)	Miami's federal jail overrun with strippers posing as paralegals. "In a scene straight out of a porno, one woman was caught on video stripping for an inmate. They are making a mockery out of the prison system" (blogs.miaminewtimes.com)	(54)

Tue November 29, 2011

On today's episode of "If Tiny Violins Could Golf Clap", woman who forgot to take the pill (on purpose), is ticked husband forgot to tell (in detail) of his vasectomy (torontosun.com)

(262)

Mon November 28, 2011

Within four weeks, it will be a crime to manufacture a 100-watt version of Thomas A. Edison's brilliant invention. Thanks Obama ....wait, it was Bush? (washingtontimes.com)

(248)

Sun November 27, 2011

Three people face prison time in toilet paper scam. So much for charmin' the judge (sfgate.com)

(28)

Sat November 26, 2011

Prison inmates use dominoes for natural male enhancement. Unfortunately for them the pieces didn't quite fall in place and caused unwanted domino (side)effects (io9.com)

(65)

Fri November 25, 2011

		Like Robin Broadhead at the control of a Heechee ship, Death Star prepares to jettison large part of T-Mobile to escape regulator's black hole (businessweek.com)	(14)
		South Korea to start using robots as prison guards. Because as Hollywood has shown time and time again, this sort of thing never turns out badly (iheartchaos.com)	(38)

Wed November 23, 2011

		What better way to endear your fun carnival ride to all the Jewish people in South Florida than to name it after a poison gas used in the Holocaust? (miamiherald.com)	(177)
		While arguments over contraceptives are nothing new, an argument about whether or not bison should be forced to take contraceptives is a whole different argument altogether (theatlantic.com)	(35)

Tue November 22, 2011

Five Captain Planet episodes that went horribly wrong, like when Wheeler visited a bike shop run by that creepy guy (gammasquad.uproxx.com)

(109)

Mon November 21, 2011

It's just guys dribbling in unison. To the tune of YMCA. On stage. No, I have no idea what this is, either (youtube.com)

(11)

Fri November 18, 2011

		50 years ago today, JFK sent 18,000 military advisors to South Vietnam, ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity in Southeast Asia and forging a bond between the ... what's that? Ohhhh (life.com)	(109)
		Warren Beatty's transgender son calls transgender Chaz Bono a misogynist. Now subby's just as confused as these two are (dailymail.co.uk)	(65)

Thu November 17, 2011

		Former Packer sentenced to six years in prison for painkiller possession. Guess he forgot to be a white quarterback (espn.go.com)	(38)
		Man who killed an Aldi security guard found dead in his prison cell. He will be charged $1 for the body bag (chicagotribune.com)	(33)

Wed November 16, 2011

		One in five U.S. adults takes medication for a mental disorder. "I'll drink to that", said the other four (latimes.com)	(209)
		Tips for getting along with your roommates: 1) Always pay your bills on time. 2) Don't let your dishes pile up in the sink. 3) Give your roommates a heads up before leaving a severed bison head on a decorative rock in the front yard (azcentral.com)	(56)
		God turns Danny Trejo's life around after prison chat. Danny Trejo returns the favor by starring in "The Muppets" and "A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas" (starpulse.com)	(43)
		How Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder disagnoses took over America (salon.com)	(73)

Tue November 15, 2011

Mad Men creator wants the show's final episode to end in present day to show us just how warm Joan's knees would be in 2011 (today.msnbc.msn.com)

(52)

Mon November 14, 2011

		Harrison Ford talks about next Indiana Jones film: "I'm available, I'm not cheap, but I'm available." If that doesn't instill you with confidence, I don't know WHAT would (showbizspy.com)	(62)
		Last night's time-travel-centric episode of Family Guy saw the world changed--for the worse--if 9/11 didn't happen. Naturally, people have a problem with this (deadline.com)	(108)

Sun November 13, 2011

When making up a story for police about how your toddler went missing; make sure it's not exactly like the plot of a "Law and Order" episode. Particularly not the one that aired the night before your baby went "missing" (news.yahoo.com)

(77)

Thu November 10, 2011

		Billy Crystal replaces Eddie Murphy as Oscars host. Confused? You won't be after this episode of "Soap" (showbizspy.com)	(59)
		Today's episode of "This should end well" brought to you by news that Prince William will be deployed to the Falkland Islands next year, which just happens to be the 30th anniversary of the Falklands War (azstarnet.com)	(54)
		Labour MP's comparison of News Corp to Mafia offends Murdoch, Mafia (bbc.co.uk)	(9)
		You served your country. Then your country ignored you, so you turned to crime. Good news: Florida has designed special prisons painted with American flags just for you (orlandosentinel.com)	(24)

Wed November 09, 2011

(Some Guy)

Inmate sues Florida for turning prison cell into gas chamber (tampa.cbslocal.com)

(76)

Tue November 08, 2011

		Why poison dart frogs have a flair for fashion and style (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(10)
		If you have psychopathic tendencies and are born to a poor family, you're likely to go to prison. If you have psychopathic tendencies and are born to a rich family, you're likely to go to business school (guardian.co.uk)	(82)
		United Express pilot who flew while drunk gets six months in prison. Charged with breach of policy, dangerous behavior, impersonating Southwest Airlines pilot (dailymail.co.uk)	(2)

Mon November 07, 2011

		Heralding what could be a new unit of measurement for incarceration around the world, Nigerian actor released from prison after 25 successful bowel movements (iheartchaos.com)	(59)
		Moonse (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(21)

Sun November 06, 2011

Admit it. If you ever watched Night Court, it was because of episodes like this. The first appearance of Bob & June Wheeler (youtube.com)

(143)

Sat November 05, 2011

	Star Trek episode banned for 43 years in Germany finally airs. Ya, you know what one (dailymail.co.uk)	(156)
	As if you didn't have enough to worry about, it may be possible for hackers to open prison doors to allow convicts to escape. Sweet dreams sugar muffin (washingtontimes.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)	Army general calls for changing name of PTSD to PTSI. What's in a name? That which we call a disorder by any other name would feel as horrible (pbs.org)	(165)

Fri November 04, 2011

(Some Guy)	Man who stole checks at interview doesn't get the job, but does get 3-6 years in prison (journalstar.com)	(43)
	Meet Allison, creator of the Jenny McCarthy Is An Ignorant Biatch foundation (scientificamerican.com)	(261)
	It's Friday, so it's time for this week's episode of the Fark Weird News Quiz to make you feel bad about yourself (fark.com)	(42)

Thu November 03, 2011

Doctor claims he can turn brown eyes blue. Crystal Gayle, Roxette, Van Morrison reportedly unimpressed (dailymail.co.uk)

(66)

Wed November 02, 2011

(Some lovin' from the oven)

Burglar named Pilsbury tries to extort dough. Boy, what a crook. May have a good prison nickname, though (kjonline.com)

(24)

Tue November 01, 2011

Butt could face seven years in PMITA prison after being found guilty of ensuring the delivery of three intentional no-balls (washingtonpost.com)

(12)

Mon October 31, 2011

	Twenty-one unexpectedly scary episodes of otherwise non-scary shows. Like that one time Garfield faced a ghost (avclub.com)	(156)
(Topless Robot)	Looking for something to watch tonight for Halloween but don't quite know what to see? Here's a list of 10 MST3K episodes that will satisfy your love of horror--and comedy (toplessrobot.com)	(61)
	Kim Kardashian dresses as Poison Ivy for Halloween. That's appropriate, since Kim can leave you with a terrible itch (people.com)	(36)

Sun October 30, 2011

		Skipper gets three years in prison for rape. Poor Gilligan (seattlepi.com)	(80)
		Man held in Egyptian prison told Mets won 2011 series. FARK: He believed it (espn.go.com)	(22)

Sat October 29, 2011

From MST3K's 3rd season, it's the classic episode Daddy-O. Watch as Joel, Servo, and Crow tackle this cheesy 50's crime caper, complete with music from John Williams. "He's singing the left side of the menu" (youtube.com)

(13)

Fri October 28, 2011

How badly did the "Charlie's Angels" reboot fail? There wasn't one episode that pulled in higher ratings than "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" (deadline.com)

(45)

Thu October 27, 2011

		Lost hiker wrote name, social insurance number, and date of birth on his arm, possibly in attempt to make shortest episode of CSI ever (news.nationalpost.com)	(82)
(Some Guy)		Penis pump judge loses penison. I mean, pension (newser.com)	(45)

Wed October 26, 2011

(Some Robot Guy)

It's television for the Attention Deficit Disorder generatio--IT'S A CAT (sponsored link) (amazon.com)

(54)

Tue October 25, 2011

	Tucker Carlson, who once said he'd "be cheering when (Jack) Abramoff and company were sent to prison," is hosting the book party for the release of Abramoff's memoir (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(63)
(Put This On)	Pre-cryogenically frozen Austin Powers captured sitting next to Ringo in scene from the new George Harrison documentary (putthison.com)	(24)
	Walter White's blue meth? In my new episode of The Walking Dead? It's more likely than you think (last paragraph contains spoiler for fourth-season finale of "Breaking Bad") (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)	(136)

Mon October 24, 2011

"Watching handsome high rollers head to prison is no doubt an Occupy Wall Streeter's notion of ultimate bondage sex appeal" (townhall.com)

(118)

Sun October 23, 2011

	New lawsuit claims that Poison stole their songs from some bar band. Someone actually wants to take credit for writing Poison's songs? (hollywoodreporter.com)	(43)
(The Day)	Newt Gingrich shows off his understanding of the structure of American government by saying that as President, he'd order one of his advisor to ignore Supreme Court rulings (theday.com)	(193)
	Are Arsenal this season's Liverpool? Will the Toon be able to keep hold of a top four spot? All this plus a take-no-prisoners Manchester derby in this week's EPL thread (dailymail.co.uk)	(479)
	Your mother is so ugly she has to drug an inmate in a men's prison to have sex with her. Bonus: She is a Wiccan chaplain with the last name of Witch (startribune.com)	(75)

Sat October 22, 2011

		Tim Burton designs balloon for Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It looks uncomfortably similar to the Joker's poison gas balloon in 1989's "Batman" (avclub.com)	(43)
		From MST3K season ten, Mike, Servo, and Crow take on Hamlet. One of the funniest episodes, it features more fart jokes and juvenile humor than any other episode, just as Shakespeare intended. "Hey, Hamlet, why don't you Ram-let?" (youtube.com)	(21)

Fri October 21, 2011

		Kim Kardashian thought that marriage was a magic wand that would "fix" Kris Humphries. And now, if you'll please be quiet, Kim really wants to understand this episode of "Sesame Street" (celebitchy.com)	(84)
		Madison Square Garden shows off the first round of their renovations just in time for the start of the Knicks season. One little problem (nypost.com)	(11)
		Britain hands over its first set of prison keys to the private sector, who promptly loses them (bbc.co.uk)	(61)

Thu October 20, 2011

		Brain tumor saves Jerome Harrison from having to play for the Eagles (espn.go.com)	(40)
		Flawless plan to extort money from local business reads like something from an episode of Scooby Doo: "police suddenly saw the bucket begin to move and watched it go from the field into nearby woods" (news.cincinnati.com)	(54)