Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		If you're a lawyer, apparently you can be arrested for paying a homeless man to help find you clients  (chron.com)	(54)

The US Census seeks to catch the ghey, in fact all of them  (chron.com)

(141)

Thief makes off with Starbucks tip jar containing $25, or enough to buy about half a latte  (ultimateclearlake.com)

(128)

Texas judge rules death penalty unconstitutional: "I don't think society's mindset is that way now." But this isn't society--it's Texas  (cbs11tv.com)

(248)

Mother and son kidnapping team is further proof that the family that preys together stays together  (chron.com)

(19)

Gardenmagaddon is here, as hapless Southerners survey the frozen tundra in their lawns and are frozen in panic and uncertainty  (chron.com)

(109)

County commissioner convinced his derby park will draw soapbox racers, and all the swells with their boater hats, spats, and horehound candies  (chron.com)

(14)

Wife of televangelist Benny Hinn files for divorce, claims 'that incessant song' as cruel and inhumane  (chron.com)

(130)

		Ken Starr appointed president of Baylor University. Promises to get to the bottom of student affairs  (chron.com)	(71)
		The latest wing nut group warning of the coming 'peak oil' disaster is... Saudi Arabia?  (chron.com)	(56)

High court to decide of "pole tax" strips rights from patrons, leaves adult industry owners naked and exposed of First Amendment rights  (chron.com)

(46)

		Jesus Christ Superbud  (chron.com)	(37)
		American Airlines takes the only excessive step left in the fee wars, charging $50 extra to fill an empty seat  (chron.com)	(64)

Obama: No more money for the moon. NASA: Fine, we'll just go to Mars then. Your move Mr. Not-Kennedy  (chron.com)

(153)

Democrat shows up at event wearing Army General's uniform with "more medals than George Patton," may end up spending the next 3-5 defending his Privates  (chron.com)

(201)

$144M Texas lottery winner to give 60% of winnings to charity: "The greatest gift my parents gave me was to be raised a Christian, and God told me I could get by on only $58M"  (chron.com)

(199)

(Some Fat Cat)

In the saddest story of the recession yet, the price on Ken Lay's luxury Houston apartment is down to $11.9M (w/ pics)  (swamplot.com)

(38)

The C ran away with the L in the Class of 2010  (chron.com)

(140)

		Today's Deep Thought by Jack Handy: "It's a good idea to keep a nice, sharp steak knife around, just in case you need to carve a few ribeyes out of your unfaithful cow of a wife"  (chron.com)	(106)
		Ric Romero reports that walking and using a cellphone can be dangerous, demands legislation jailing violators  (chron.com)	(48)

Jobs available at Houston furniture store: sales, accountant, monkey handler, warehouse manager. Monkey handler?  (chron.com)

(28)

When your alarm expert cannot deactivate an alarm, your lookout can't look, and your getaway driver falls asleep it'll flip ya, flip ya for real  (chron.com)

(50)

		Heineken buys Dos Equis in deal valued $7.6 billion. Señor Drew Curtez enthusiastic, but is taking a esperar y ver attitude  (chron.com)	(42)
		Rod Blagojevich: "I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes"  (chron.com)	(431)

Friday it will probably be colder in Houston than McMurdo Station in Antarctica  (chron.com)

(243)

		This is my gavel. There are many like it but this one is mine. My gavel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my gavel is useless. Without my gavel I am useless  (chron.com)	(43)
		Hundreds arrested in Texas cockfighting raid, face 6-8 months of additional cockfighting  (chron.com)	(49)

NASA is looking for places to donate the space shuttles when they are retired in a couple of years. The multi-billion dollar shuttles will be given away for free, but shipping and handling is $42 million. Your good feedback gets theirs    (chron.com)

(176)

Police in Texas looking for murder suspect described as a white supremacist named Bubba who drives a pickup with Republican party stickers. This shouldn't be difficult    (chron.com)

(185)

Woman who cried at sight of Krystal's restaurant named to Hall Of Fame; "You know you're a redneck when your sister's picture is on a Krystal's burger box"  (chron.com)

(89)

San Antonio River Walk to be more wheelchair friendly, hey that's great bec.... spalsh  (chron.com)

(168)

There has been a Tiger Woods sighting near Houston. Wait what? Oh someone saw a tiger in the woods near Houston. Ohhhhh. Well, I'm sorry. Never mind  (chron.com)

(52)

Despite little outward evidence, proposed Botox and plastic surgery tax evoking deep emotional reactions  (chron.com)

(123)

'Frack' process to unlock fuel raises environmental concerns, possibility of Cylon attack  (chron.com)

(45)

Latest victims of the slumping economy: Casino Americans  (chron.com)

(41)

Scientists and lawyers ponder whether people will become attached to the household robots that later slaughter them  (chron.com)

(57)

You're caught with a protected Black Bear's head in your front lawn and its paws rotting in your car. Do you c) start calling yourself Chief Broken Eagle and claim that you are making a sacred choker with the teeth?  (chron.com)

(48)

Reasearch scientists warming to African rats that never seem to get cancer, are acid resistant, and live ten times as long as most common 'Old World' rats. Still no cure for the icky-ick-ick ooo-ooo-oos  (chron.com)

(40)