Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		U.S. Navy hospital ship Comfort returns to Baltimore after two months in Haiti. Obviously, all problems are solved there now, and we can stop sending money, right?  (upi.com)	(81)

You would think, after being called out on it last year, Wyclef Jean would have stopped the shenanigans with his Haitian charity  (thesmokinggun.com)

(24)

Female reporter says she doesn't feel like a woman when she's abroad    (cbc.ca)

(88)

Under new 'poverty measurement ' guidlines being proposed by Obama, countries like Bangladesh and Haiti will actually have lower poverty rates than the United States. Bonus: Even LBJ rejected this bullsh*t  (article.nationalreview.com)

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(Some Guy)

RIAA claims that file sharers are 'undermining humanitarian efforts in Haiti'  (techdirt.com)

(26)

Sean Penn hopes critics of his recent mercy mission to Haiti "die of rectal cancer." You've gotta side with Penn on this one  (starpulse.com)

(67)

If this Haitian family moves into your neighborhood, you might want to update your earthquake insurance policy  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(52)

Pat Robertson offers compassionate words of encouragement to the people of Chile over their natural tragedy. Just kidding. He says they had it coming for making god angry. Bonus:"...personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet"  (open.salon.com)

(194)

Bill Clinton blames heart problem on stress, sleepless nights of dealing with Haiti. Pay no attention to the mound of Big Mac wrappers in his trash can  (news.yahoo.com)

(58)

Obama administration grants Temporary Protected Status (TPS) to Haitians illegally residing in United States. If only there were some kind of report summarizing the government's efforts to keep track of them  (abcnews.go.com)

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Obama administration steers $100,000 straight into the gaping maw of Clinton friend in no-bid contract scandal  (foxnews.com)

(206)

		Saturday's edition of Mad Libs: Bill Clinton "keen to _ _ _ _" after surgery. (voting enabled)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(90)
		Harrison Ford flies private jet to Haiti on a mercy mission, tells everyone onboard to get off his plane  (contactmusic.com)	(61)

Original Haitian death toll of 270,000 has now been revised to 170,000, meaning that 100,000 people are no...longer...dead...OH CRAP    (ajc.com)

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Roy Williams compares UNC's season to Haiti catastrophe. Hilarity somehow fails to ensue  (rivals.yahoo.com)

(42)

"Haiti gives death toll of 270,000; no explanation" One might suspect the earthquake  (news.yahoo.com)

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UN very upset that some Haitian hospitals, which are treating patients with donated medical supplies and volunteer doctors, are still sending patients a bill afterwards. US insurance companies, on the other hand, are downright impressed  (abcnews.go.com)

(107)

San Francisco finally steps up to help the people of Haiti  (jamesfallows.theatlantic.com)

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		After seeing footage of the devastation in Haiti, Naomi Campbell decides the best thing to do is organize a fashion show for them. Thankfully, they all wear her size  (contactmusic.com)	(10)
		That rumor about Haiti releasing the 10 church people that were transporting kids. Forget that, they've all been formally charged for kidnapping  (msnbc.msn.com)	(537)
		Arcade Fire licenses song to the Super Bowl to help numb people to the Haiti disaster  (pastemagazine.com)	(13)
(Some Toothy Grins)		Shane MacGowan, Nick Cave, and Johnny Depp have finished recording their charity single for Haiti. To paraphrase Meatloaf, two out of three ain't bad  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(23)

		John Travolta: "I was like a commander running around" in Haiti. Battlefield Earth experience finally paid off  (dailymail.co.uk)	(68)
		Geologists from the NS Sherlock Institute for the Study of the Blindingly Obvious warn Haitians that they might want to move their capital city somewhere else  (news.yahoo.com)	(56)

		First-hand account of clueless Scientologists wandering Haiti in designer cowboy boots thinking they can just buy toilet paper at the store  (gawker.com)	(256)
		Haitian voodoo high priest claims all of the earthquake aid is going to Christians, leaving none for his believers. Pat Robertson has no comment  (telegraph.co.uk)	(76)

Since their own government is as effective as herbal Viagra purchased online, Haitians want the US to take over their country  (washingtonpost.com)

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One of the biggest donations to the Haitian earthquake relief fund totals just $14.64  (baltimoresun.com)

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Federal officials stop bringing Haitian earthquake victims to Florida because they don't want to interfere with the Super Bowl  (sun-sentinel.com)

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		Think us Americans are particularly generous? Well, in terms of giving money to Haiti, we're less generous than Ghana and China  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(325)
(Some Guy)		Johnny Depp to make music fans suffer by recording charity single to help Haiti. Surely Haiti would rather just have some of his cash  (twentyfourbit.com)	(20)

(Digitalspy)		Muse is donating their drum kit for Haiti auction. It's described as being in new and unused condition    (digitalspy.com)	(42)
		News: Quebec MDs volunteer to go to Haiti to help people in the disaster stricken country. Fark: They still want to get paid  (cbc.ca)	(92)
		With people suffering in Haiti, people losing jobs, and health care in the toliet, there's always a glimmer of hope...if you're a spray-tanned Italian from Jersey  (gawker.com)	(78)
		Douchebag of the Day goes to former NBA player Paul Shirley, for his advice to earthquake-ravaged Haitians: 'Maybe use a condom once in a while'  (huffingtonpost.com)	(574)

		After four years spent trying to adopt a pair of Haitian orphans, one Montana family finally gets their wish. Bonus: pic of one orphan seeing snow for the first time  (billingsgazette.com)	(157)
		Haitian president says the situation in Port-au-Prince is tents  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(74)
(Digitalspy)		Hope for Haiti expected to debut at number one on the Billboard Top 200. I told you it would shake up the pop charts  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(7)
		John Travolta flies his private jet to Haiti, carrying the supplies the Haitians REALLY need: Scientology ministers, E-meters and all the copies of "Dianetics" they could ever want  (abcnews.go.com)	(354)
(Some Guy)		Wilco offering downloads of live performances to help Haiti, okay that's actually pretty cool  (spinner.com)	(50)
(Access Hollywood)		The Hope for Haiti celebrity PR fest was viewed by 83 million people who wanted to see how chubby Leonardo DiCaprio is getting  (accesshollywood.com)	(26)

(Drew)		Haiti fatigue, Apple hyperbole and the Fark Betting Line for this week. Plus some of Fark's favorite headlines from 1/17 - 1/23  (fark.com)	(26)
		The San Jose Mercury News gives props to Fark for a headline about the Yankees donating money to Haiti  (mercurynews.com)	(0)

Haitian man survives for eleven days buried under rubble by eating cookies and drinking pop and beer. Beer, is there anything it can't...yes, it's called "pop." Not "coke," not "soda," POP  (google.com)

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(Worldnet Hatey)		Columnist says Haiti is proof the James Camerons Pan-theistic Avatar is false and that Christianity is the way to make Haiti a better place. The 96% Christian Haitians were not interviewed for this column  (wnd.com)	(129)
		Ten NBA players to donate $1,000 each per point scored on Friday night to Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. Antawn Jamison, averaging 22.2 points a game this season, puts up 8 against Miami  (sports.yahoo.com)	(34)
		Nearly every broadcast and cable network aired the benefit for Haiti Friday night, but one network decided to 'go rogue'  (mediamatters.org)	(857)

(What Does It Mean?)		Another U.S. induced earthquake test like the one used on Haiti is being planned so we can shake up things in Iran. What? Sounds legit  (whatdoesitmean.com)	(128)
		Radiohead to play for Haiti, which is great because after what happened, those people could really use a nice, long nap    (contactmusic.com)	(36)
		George Clooney's A-list telethon for Haiti advise Kanye West to just stay home  (nydailynews.com)	(46)
		Chavez, angry because no one is paying attention to him, accuses the U.S. Navy of using their earthquake machine on Haiti. No, really  (realclearpolitics.com)	(114)
(Some Guy)		Sappy: Man trapped under rubble in Haiti for 3 days writes goodbye notes to his sons. Cool: Man found alive by rescuers. Nerdy Cool: Used an iPhone app to fix his compound fracture and a head injury  (sphere.com)	(77)

(Billboard)		Musicians performing at the Grammy Awards will stay after the ceremony in order to record a single entitled "We Are the World" to benefit victims of a recent tragedy. This is not a repeat from 1985  (billboard.com)	(47)
(AFH)		Join Fark's Haiti relief effort by supporting Architecture for Humanity. Yes, this is a repeat from two days ago  (architectureforhumanity.org)	(90)
		Behold, Haitians, and despair: a vaccuum of suck is about to be set upon ye  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(40)

		Enjoy your time on the beach and remember these few tips for your shore leave: the boat leaves at 7pm, Haitians speak French, and for God's sake don't wave food or water where they can see it....it will only make them angrier  (news.yahoo.com)	(205)
		6.1 aftershock hits Haiti. Damage expected to be minimal, because there's really nothing left to wreck  (uk.reuters.com)	(173)
		If you're thinking of making a donation to help the Haitians in their time of need, make sure it's not really going to the Swedish Necrophilia Association  (thelocal.se)	(72)

(AFH)		Join Fark's Haiti relief effort by supporting Architecture for Humanity  (architectureforhumanity.org)	(504)
		Serena Williams sets up eBay auction for Haiti with goal of $92,000 - a target equal the total fine for her profanity-laced outburst at a lineswoman during the U.S. Open  (google.com)	(27)
		Haitian orphans land in Pittsburgh. Haven't they suffered enough?  (abcnews.go.com)	(143)
(Drew)		Haiti's devastation means that the news media has less filler to produce. And that's a good thing. Plus Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/10 through 1/16  (fark.com)	(43)
		Starving, thirsty, homeless Haitians can rest easy now that their solar-powered bibles have finally arrived  (news.com.au)	(469)

		6.0 magnitude earthquake hits third-world country. This is not a repeat from last week  (msnbc.msn.com)	(116)
		George W. Bush tells Rush Limbaugh to STFU about Haiti  (news.yahoo.com)	(257)
(Awful Announcing)		Jim Nantz isn't really sure what country had that minor earthquake problem recently (with video)  (awfulannouncing.blogspot.com)	(45)
		News cameraman misses money-shot of a child being rescued from rubble in Haiti because he put the camera down in order to help dig her out. Subby has something in his eye  (themercury.com.au)	(163)
		Haiti continues to be plagued by dela-OMG, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? PRINCE WILLIAM IS GOING BALD  (dailymail.co.uk)	(201)
		Sandra Bullock donates $1 million to Haitian relief efforts. No snark, no mockery, just an all around cool gesture on Ms. Bullock's part  (starpulse.com)	(127)

		Shipping container company starts research into eventually helping Haitians make housing out of shipping containers. But first: college dorm containers  (sciencedaily.com)	(186)
		Wyclef Jean is "disgusted" by accusations that he's profiting from Haiti charity, so he takes to YouTube and provides specific rebuttal to absolutely none of the allegations  (abcnews.go.com)	(157)
		Alyssa Milano donates $50,000 to UNICEF, challenges any corporation to match it. Oh it is SO on  (huffingtonpost.com)	(147)
		Texting 90999 to donate to the American Red Cross to support Haiti operations? You could probably swim there with a ten dollar bill and get it to them faster  (online.wsj.com)	(112)
		Anger at U.S. builds in Haiti, presumably from the brazen use of our earthquake machine  (google.com)	(533)

		Please take a molement to read the DailyKos Saturday hate mail bag  (dailykos.com)	(90)
		Arizona-New Orleans. Baltimore-Indianapolis. Settle down and order in, it is time for your Divisional Playoffs thread  (sports-ak.espn.go.com)	(3239)
		Compilation of veracity of tweets, texts, emails, about how you can donate to Haitian relief, courtesy of Snopes  (snopes.com)	(113)
		If you were worried that Glenn Beck might show enough class to stay out of the Haiti earthquake wharrgarbl, well, rest easy  (crooksandliars.com)	(313)
		Remember last week when Seattle offered Tony Dungy the job of team president? Reports now indicate that it was "clear tampering" since he is still under contract with the Colts  (indystar.com)	(21)
		Three months after the fact, the Obama administration finally agrees that the Ft. Hood attack was that T-thing  (foxnews.com)	(320)

(disinfo.com)		In the latest of stupid things to say about Haiti, Danny Glover blames it on our failure to combat global warming  (disinfo.com)	(57)
		Hundreds of Haiti Earthquake victims arrive in New Jersey. Immediately inquire as to the availability of return flights    (huffingtonpost.com)	(77)
(WSB TV)		Tyler Perry to donate $250,000 of Tyler Perry's money to the Tyler Perry Foundation for Haiti relief. Tyler Perry  (wsbtv.com)	(23)
		GOP empathy: Rep Steve King (R-IAmajerk)--deport Haitian immigrants so they can help in disaster relief  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(193)
		Madonna gives $250,000 to Haiti relief, gets first round draft pick in upcoming Haitian orphan raffle    (msnbc.msn.com)	(26)
		Who is the man who survives Haiti earthquake after 60 hours in an elevator.....SHAFT    (620wtmj.com)	(63)
		Aristide says he wants to return to Haiti. Haven't they suffered enough?  (abcnews.go.com)	(43)
(the daily show)		Glenn Beck to Sarah Palin: "Did I just finger you?" giggity  (thedailyshow.com)	(128)
		10,000 U.S. troops to spread across Haiti, establish missionary position  (latimes.com)	(354)
		Rush Limbaugh says he will not back off his criticism of Obama's response to Haiti, because "everything is political to this president."  (politico.com)	(219)
		Both Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson are learning that there IS actually a limit to how stupid and/or hateful you can be to victims of a tragedy before everyone starts calling you out as a dick  (news.yahoo.com)	(871)

		Pat Robertson would like you to know that he may be a crazy old man, but he means well, and shipped a million dollars in aid to Haiti while you were still standing in line at Starbucks  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(364)
		Olbermann: "Mr. Robertson, Mr. Limbaugh, your lives are not worth those of the lowest, meanest, poorest of those victims still lying under that rubble in Haiti tonight. You serve no good, you serve no God." With video goodness  (rawstory.com)	(389)
		Tiger Woods sending a hospital to Haiti. No, really  (huffingtonpost.com)	(156)
		White House reacts to Pat Robertson's claim that God is punishing Haiti for making a pact with the Devil: "It never ceases to amaze me that in times of amazing human suffering somebody says something that can be so utterly stupid"  (news.yahoo.com)	(703)
(WLFI)		Haiti was warned in 2008 about the fault under Port-au-Prince, but the impoverished nation took little action, concerned about other major threats. Like, you know, famine  (wlfi.com)	(218)
		Limbaugh: "We've already donated to Haiti. It's called US income tax."  (huffingtonpost.com)	(733)
		GOP Massachusetts Senate candidate Scott Brown on the Tea Party movement: "Never heard of them." Awkward  (boston.com)	(195)
		Yankees donate $500k to Haiti relief. Haiti awaiting counter-offer from Red Sox    (mlb.mlb.com)	(38)

		Rush Limbaugh attacks Obama for talking about Haiti too soon. Because what's a natural disaster that takes a hundred thousand lives, if not a great opportunity to get a partisan attack in?  (crooksandliars.com)	(605)
		The tragic disaster in Haiti has taught us a very important lesson: capitalism is awesome  (agenda.nationalreview.com)	(347)
(TN Vols)		There are about to be a lot of Lane Kiffin fans in Haiti  (govolsxtra.com)	(30)
		BBC Article about Haiti earthquake that is written in a really odd past present future past tense that will have been making my head spin  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(67)
		Obama promises "swift, coordinated, and aggressive" aid to Haiti, similar to the swift and agressive aid he gave us to fix the economy. They're screwed  (abcnews.go.com)	(172)
(WTF)		Pat Robertson -- "Something happened a long time ago in Haiti ,,, they were under the heel of the French, you know, Napoleon III and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. True story."  (cbn.com)	(554)
		Over 100,000 killed in Haiti earthquake according to Haitian Prime Minister  (cnn.com)	(560)
		Hiker enjoys the peaks and valleys but will pine away in jail for showing off too much wood  (myfoxdc.com)	(54)
		American aid worker trapped in the rubble of her house after the Haitian earthquake has been saved-by her husband. Which means he can leave his dirty socks anywhere he damn well pleases from now on  (abcnews.go.com)	(176)
		Amateur video from Haiti, taken just after the earthquake, shows a huge swath of land absolutely cloaked in dust from collapsed buildings  (liveleak.com)	(70)

7.0 magnitude earthquake hits off the coast of Haiti. Details are still a bit shaky  (reuters.com)

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(Some Guy)

The Evolution Of Horror-Movie Poster Design, 1922-2009 (not a slideshow)  (hongkiat.com)

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