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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Google's war against non-news. Oh Fark source: salon.com   |   share:	(17)
		Farker's first attempt at light painting cherry blossoms results in an article being written in The Atlantic. Article to the left, harsh critics to the right source: theatlantic.com   |   share:	(98)
		"The Promise", a comedy short by TFarker's friend that was bestowed with a Vimeo Staff Pick source: vimeo.com   |   share:	(22)
		Transgender high school student may wear original Wang to prom, Kerry on wayward Un, and Eric Holder is looking at the wrong porn: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/31 - 4/6 source: fark.com   |   share:	(2)
		Seattle Times says FARK's NCAA headline is championship material (2nd section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)

		There is a news aggregation website called Fark.com, which tags news articles with labels such as "sad," "scary" and "amusing." One of the tags is "Florida." It is the only state that has its own tag on Fark source: readingeagle.com   |   share:	(14)
		Couple comes home to find burglar feeding their dog. Fark: Dog leaves with burglar source: wenatcheeworld.com   |   share:	(52)
		Good news, Catholics: Lutheran bishop gets loaded and mows down a former cop proving that protestants can fark up, too source: jsonline.com   |   share:	(38)
		News: Cleanliness or lack of it the biggest problem, but the report also included everything from a cockroach infestation to feral cats living beneath a portable building FARK: This is a school they are talking about source: wesh.com   |   share:	(27)

		Photoshop a Farkism into an historical event source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share:	(51)
		Scientists prove that looking at busty women for 10 minutes a day is good for your health. In other news, FARK is now officially a nation of supermen source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share:	(260)
		Microbrewer need some Fark love, with only 8 days remaining on their Kickstarter, will anyone please just think of the beer? source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(19)
		The Westboro Baptist Church says they will picket Roger Ebert's funeral. Hopefully some Chicago Farkers will stage a peaceful counter-demonstration source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share:	(149)
		Not news: Los Angeles clinches NBA division title. Fark: It ain't the Lakers source: scores.espn.go.com   |   share:	(22)
		Happy conservative warrior, Mike Gallagher, says he "doesn't hate liberals", just the watermelons they eat. Fark those guys source: politico.com   |   share:	(73)

		World Fark Party III - New Orleans, Louisiana: April 5 - April 7 source: fark.com   |   share:	(575)
		Relegation 6 pointers abound as So'ton-Reading and Wigan-QPR highlight the weekend. Can Spurs overcome the loss of Bale? Can Arsenal not fark up against WBA? All this plus the United trophy pa- I mean Manchester derby in this week's EPL thread source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(182)
		Not news: School bans kindergartener from class. FARK: because his mohawk haircut is too distracting source: whiotv.com   |   share:	(81)
		Twin Cities Fark Party, Saturday April 13th 7pm-NOW WITH LOCATION source: fark.com   |   share:	(97)

		So many news organizations kiss Fark's ass, but only HuffPost Weird News plies Farkers with beer and Rum (w/ World Fark Party III slideshow) source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(56)
		Fark Party Chicago - 13APR - 8pm-11pm - Lincoln Tap Room source: fark.com   |   share:	(32)
		Whoever wrote this list of 10 ways to cure boredom at work, was so bored that they missed, "Just do your farking job or you're fired" source: lifehacker.com   |   share:	(80)
		Homeless guy who shares the same name as an apartment building owner continually tries to take ownership of it. Fark: He successfully got out of jail by using it as collateral. Bonus: His day job is being a blind street photographer source: opposingviews.com   |   share:	(34)
		News: People arrested at a protest. FARK: They were arrested for protesting a bylaw which requires protesters to submit a route prior to the start of the demonstration. Irony: They didn't submit a route source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share:	(87)

		Ever wonder what the people who voiced the cartoon baddies from our youth looked like? Fark: Jesus, number 13 looks just like his character source: mentalfloss.com   |   share:	(94)
(Some Guy)		A friend of a TFarker has just released her new music video and song. Really chill music, great singing voice and she's pretty too source: miacarruthers.com   |   share:	(31)
		Photoshop theme: Photoshop what might happen at this year's World Fark Party source: fark.com   |   share:	(17)
		How sleazy is New York politics? Enough that Democrats saw the 20-year rap sheet of one of their assembly candidates and said "fark it - we'll wait until he gets elected, then make him wear a wire" source: nydailynews.com   |   share:	(34)
		Good: Economy added 88k jobs last month. Bad: It was supposed to add 190K. Awesome:Unemployment rate drops yet again. Fark:Because 500k people just stopped looking source: money.cnn.com   |   share:	(189)
		Cooling system at Fukushima nuclear plant fails for the second time in a week after workers fark it up trying to keep rats from eating it. D'oh source: nytimes.com   |   share:	(58)
		"Seventy acres of pornography is too much," said the councilman. "The hell you say," said Fark source: timesunion.com   |   share:	(50)
		Not news: Copyright holders sending DMCA takedown requests to Google. FARK: For the postings of their own takedown requests source: torrentfreak.com   |   share:	(27)
		Wil Wheaton talks about Farking up some beer with Drew Curtis at Stone Brewing. Which one of you Farkers made the first comment under the video? source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share:	(5)

		FARK's Drew Curtis explains BuzzFeed's sponsored stories on the main pages: "It's cleaner; it's more straight up. It's exactly what it appears to be, no more no less. Advertisers are willing to pay for less bulls#*t" (next to last paragraph) source: pbs.org   |   share:	(55)
		Farks In The Wild at the Buffalo Zoo. July 24, 6pm source: fark.com   |   share:	(26)
		New law could put teens in jail for visiting online news sites. At Fark, they're cool as long as they bring beer source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share:	(43)
		Digg grows 93%, while sending 1.4 million referrals to publishers, but still "remains behind both StumbleUpon and FARK, which sent between 2 and 3 million referrals to publishers in February 2013 source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(7)
		There is unrest in the forest, There is trouble with the trees, For the maples want some respite, From the farking syrup thieves source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(71)
		Raven tells Disney / Lucasarts to fark off and releases the source code to Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy source: kotaku.com   |   share:	(61)
		Farking lasers, what CAN'T they do source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(39)
(Farktography)		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 413: "Ghost Towns". Details and rules in first post. LGT cache with next week's theme source: webcache.googleusercontent.com   |   share:	(56)

(Some Guy)		Farker's kid brother has been working on a hip hop/dubstep album for the past five years, and after being thrown out entirely three times, it's been released today. If you are into hip-hop or dubstep, check out the link and give it a listen source: hazandrhillz.com   |   share:	(32)
		FARK lends support for the rally to demonstrate reforming the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, to be held on April 13 in Boston's Dewey Square Park. (7th paragraph) source: news.cnet.com   |   share:	(11)
		Vidal Sassoon's final heir cut, FBI searches for missing Brown student-finally, and Bud Light goes after those who like it in the can: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/24 - 3/30 source: fark.com   |   share:	(2)
		After a horrible ratings winter, NBC welcomes the return of The Voice and Revolution and sees ratings increase a whopping 33%... Fark: to raise them to a tie for third place with Fox source: deadline.com   |   share:	(52)
		Seattle Times gives FARK's clever MLB headline a AAA rating (2nd section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(1)

		Not news: Shots fired at U.S. Border Patrol agents. News: In Washington State. Fark: One suspect escaped INTO Canada source: foxnews.com   |   share:	(58)
		Remember that Hiker that found that Mysterious Memorial out in the boondocks? The Mystery is now solved. (Bonus: Hiker is a Farker) source: times-news.com   |   share:	(69)
		Some farker poured 2 years of his life into a DS game and now it's on Kickstarter. If you are a fan of multiple tiny screens and talking robots (and who isn't) then please check it out source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(2)
		Not news: Undertaker gives his wife a private burial in a secluded location. Fark.com: Police are still looking for the body source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(29)
		I know it's right before NOLA, but Drew will be at Stone Brewing in Escondido on 4/2. So, FARK PARTY source: fark.com   |   share:	(171)
		Not news: People have a problem with their neighbors. News: Because the smell of the pot growing in their is overwhelming. Fark: No government agency, including the Portland Police, will bother to get involved source: katu.com   |   share:	(169)

		The Trentonian: "While we're proud of what we've accomplished here, we're not looking for accolades from any Pulitzer board, Romenesko website, or even FARK.com" source: trentonian.com   |   share:	(2)
		Not News: Miami Heat win. Sorta News: Against the San Antonio Spurs. Definitely News: Lebron James and Dwayne Wade didn't play. Holy Fark: NEITHER DID MARIO CHALMERS source: scores.espn.go.com   |   share:	(38)
		Not news: Man's girlfriend gets pregnant. News: She has to have part of her leg amputated. Fark: Because his ex, who he also got pregnant, ran her down. His take? "I mean, I am handsome" source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(54)

		On quest for fatter profits, beer companies have stopped marketing to Joe Six-Pack and are plowing their ad dollars into attracting Joe College, a new drinker heavily influenced by his good friend Farker Beersnob source: adage.com   |   share:	(31)
		Farker selling beautiful hand carved sculpture to help pay unexpected medical bills. Thanks for looking, God bless (LGT sculpture) source: ebay.com   |   share:	(6)
		Not News: Man takes revenge on childhood bullies. Fark: By becoming a smoking hot woman (w/before and after pics) source: thesun.co.uk   |   share:	(187)
		Warm up your sousaphones and dust off the davenport, coming up live at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, two hours of live music from Alaska hosted by a farker. LGT stream or try krnn.org source: tunein.com   |   share:	(373)

		You don't fark with Michael Jordan source: tmz.com   |   share:	(48)
		Will (the) Ohio State keep getting last second officials help? Can Witchy State keep the 9th seed Cinderella magic rolling? Find out in your official FARK game thread. Tip-off starts at 7PM Eastern on CBS source: scores.espn.go.com   |   share:	(268)
		Not news: Man sues former employer to get his job back. Fark: With the TSA. Total Fark: This is the second time source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share:	(41)
		Hiker finds old memorial deep in forest, from little girl to her dad who died on that spot. Hiker returns repeatedly over a six year period to maintain it. Hiker trying to find out who the girl was. Fark: Let's find her so Hiker can stop obsessing source: times-news.com   |   share:	(201)
		Florida celebrates 500 years of earning its very own Fark tag source: cnn.com   |   share:	(22)
		McDonald's, the most farked up fast food restaurant the world has ever seen source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share:	(39)
		As the Craft Brewers Conference of 2013 wraps up, lets take a look at some of the best epic brewers beards the conference had to offer. Fark: Farker and brewer Cerebral Knievel leads in the tag line source: inthecapital.com   |   share:	(8)
		Robotic ants mimic ant colony. Doesn't anyone remember Phase IV? Well no they probably don't, 'cause that's obscure even for Fark source: sciencedaily.com   |   share:	(31)

		If FARK was an acronym, what would it mean? source: fark.com   |   share:	(100)
		Just when you thought you'd get through a Friday without any aggravation at all, here's the Fark Weird News Quiz to ruin it all for you source: fark.com   |   share:	(31)
		Ray Charles best version of "It's All Right" is found here, dubbed. Can the Knights of Fark help me find the full and original version? This is a tragedy and shall not go unanswered source: artistdirect.com   |   share:	(18)
		Great News, GLBT Farkers... Rush Limbaugh has conceded, you are now free to marry source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share:	(240)
		Seattle Times gives the tie breaking point to FARK's World Cup headline (9th section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)

		Inaugural Fark Fantasy Baseball league needs 2 more members. Password=farkitall source: games.espn.go.com   |   share:	(3)
		News: Doctor kills 7 patients Fark: to free up beds source: ksat.com   |   share:	(49)
		Farker Knight of the Woeful Countenance is running a freebie special for his action adventure book "The Twelve Stones" through Saturday. Check it out and pick up a free copy for your Kindle or Kindle Fire if ya like source: amazon.com   |   share:	(7)
		Cool: Helsinki hotel is looking for a "Professional Sleeper" to spend 35 days at their newly renovated facility, and blog their experiences. No Farking Way: Hotel doesn't have a bar, or restaurant source: hosted.ap.org   |   share:	(55)
		Fark ready headline: "Joe Biden made a surprise visit to the Delaware University women's basketball locker room last night" source: businessinsider.com   |   share:	(36)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: Blind Tyrone man caught in cattle barn with rubber glove and broom shaft source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share:	(33)
		Farker's friend is hiking to the base camp of Mount Everest; here's a link to his journal. He is going to see his friend become one of the oldest to ever attempt the summit. Please send karma source: mytripjournal.com   |   share:	(24)
		Not news: Insurgents plant IED. News: While Apache pilot monitoring from above. FARK: IED Self-destructs, eliminating insurgents source: youtube.com   |   share:	(188)
		GOP on the Hill: Fark it, let's not do anything. The sequester is all bluff. GOP at home: WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE DONE? source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(53)
		Fark Philly Up - Spend the day in Philly taunting animals and ringing bells, or meet us at night for a couple drinks. Saturday, July 20th (Now with a bar) source: fark.com   |   share:	(97)
		Dumb: Blowing up your home for insurance money. Dumber: Killing your neighbors and destroying your subdivision in the process. Fark: Planning to kill a witness via monitored jailhouse communications while you await trial source: fox59.com   |   share:	(42)
		FARK-ready headline: Boulder couple involved in topless-gardening fight investigated over threat to president source: denverpost.com   |   share:	(38)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 412: "The Onion on Your Belt". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(87)

		SE Michigan/NW Ohio Fark Party April 27 Ashley's Ann Arbor 7:30PM source: fark.com   |   share:	(149)
		Advertising Age follows up on BuzzFeed's buying of sponsored stories. "FARK might be an ideal place to seed content for a consumer-electronics campaign in addition to BuzzFeed" source: adage.com   |   share:	(6)
		Guantanamo detainee sues for damages from torture by CIA handlers. Fark: He's suing Poland source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(76)
		Florida's records from the 1500s to be digitized. Ponce de Leon will finally be immortalized 500 years after being contracted to explore Fark's favorite peninsula source: seattlepi.com   |   share:	(13)
		I summon the power of Fark to fund an indie project on recreating the Titanic using CryENGINE3. Reminds me of an old video game I used to play in the 90's and it'll be good for history too source: indiegogo.com   |   share:	(7)
		Omaha Fark Party II. OMAHARDER June 8th at 7pm at the OB Lounge source: fark.com   |   share:	(45)

		News: Grocery store is evicted. America: 300 people show up to pick through the food thrown out into the parking lot during the eviction. FARK: Marshals run everyone off and guard the food as it is thrown into dumpsters source: onlineathens.com   |   share:	(237)
		Not news: Roommate draws a penis on you while you're passed out News: You wake up and beat him and then get arrested for assault Fark: You forget to wash off the penis and it shows up in your mugshot source: arlnow.com   |   share:	(143)
		Joss Whedon's biggest setbacks. A lesson in how lacking total control over your project gives Hollywood the chance to fark up a completely great idea source: io9.com   |   share:	(120)
		Penn State to honor Dick Lippin--again, Triumph out of service after being pooped on, and a new Chinese keylogger called Wa Ching Yu: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/17 - 3/23 source: fark.com   |   share:	(2)
(WOCM-FM)		FARK's Drew Curtis appears on WOCM-FM 98.1 in Ocean City, MD. Skip ahead to the last hour of the 3/26 podcast source: irieradio.com   |   share:	(1)
		News: SCOTUS rules in favor of the little guy. Fark: In a drug case. UltraFark: With Scalia writing the majority opinion. WTFark: And Thomas joining him source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(358)
		Dull: Man gets drunk at pub. Less dull: Man buys 10' python from stranger at pub. Interesting: Hungry snake tries to kill man's sleeping friend, so man tries to sell snake. Fark: Police arrest man for trying to sell stolen snake source: coventrytelegraph.net   |   share:	(13)
		10 old fashioned swears to confuse the FARK filter source: mentalfloss.com   |   share:	(45)
		Good news: Coffee is good for you. Fark: As long as you're an alcoholic male. Cheers source: businessinsider.com   |   share:	(81)

		Farker wookiemonster's entry into the "Volicon it" contest. It's like looking into a mirror for most Farkers including subby source: youtube.com   |   share:	(27)
		Farker's non-profit is raising funds to build the best open source email client ever source: indiegogo.com   |   share:	(30)
(Ernie Ball Battle of the Bands)		Farker's friends have a hard rock/metal band who need votes to get on the Warped Tour. Already, they are the top-voted band for the DC area. Help them get to the top in the nation and buy them a beer if you're in the area source: battleofthebands.com   |   share:	(6)
		Pew Research produces the State of the News Media 2013; otherwise known as the reason Fark exists source: stateofthemedia.org   |   share:	(33)

		FARK's Drew Curtis and Wil Wheaton will collaborate on brewing craft beer. The magic happens on April 2 following a meet and greet at Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens source: pastemagazine.com   |   share:	(110)
		Farkette gets Kotaku's cosplay spotlight at PAX East for having a high upkeep cost source: kotaku.com   |   share:	(127)
		Farker vincent_blackshadow is on the mend. Not only has he charmed nurses into stealing bacon for him, they've also turned a blind eye so he could have his first beer since he was admitted to the ICU on Feb 7th. DIT source: i.imgur.com   |   share:	(161)

		News: Man does 23 years in a NY Prison for murder. Other News: Released after his conviction is overturned. Fark: Suffers a heart attack on his second day of freedom source: hosted.ap.org   |   share:	(78)
(I get $10)		Some basement dweller named Polyakov wins the $3M Fundamental Physics Prize. FARK: to get his losing peers to shut up, they toss Hawking a $3M bone, and another $3M to the 300,000 folks that "discovered the Higgs-like particle" at CERN's LHC source: fundamentalphysicsprize.org   |   share:	(22)
		Another TSA employee tries to claim "Finders Keepers" - for a $2000 laptop (Dumbass, Asinine tags redundant for TSA, happened in Florida, can TSA get their own Fark tag yet?) source: wftv.com   |   share:	(143)
		ABSOLUTELY, the hottest stars in the sci-fi universe... Pssst, in Farkerese, this is how you go for green. Absolutely source: nydailynews.com   |   share:	(149)
		Finally... Neiman-Marcus decides to cater to the tastes of the average Farker source: boingboing.net   |   share:	(29)

		It's Friday afternoon and you haven't been sober in three hours. So that means it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. NO COMPLAINING, you had all week to study for this source: fark.com   |   share:	(48)
		Farker part of team trying to solve the newspaper problem. Bonus: No Paywalls source: newswire.ca   |   share:	(12)
		Farking Farker finds a live hand grenade metal detecting in Golden Gate Park. Farking Farker is me. Photos and video if this goes green you goofy mods source: sfgate.com   |   share:	(174)
		Silly news: Ohio county files charges against Punxsutawney Phil. You've got to be shiatting me news: For misrepresenting an early spring. Fark: They're seeking the death penalty source: wcpo.com   |   share:	(60)
		FARK's Drew Curtis appears on Bloomberg Television's "Money Moves" and tells how to beat patent trolls at their own game source: bloomberg.com   |   share:	(43)

		BBC mentions how FARK joined with others to launch the Internet Defense League (IDL) to help monitor threats to online privacy (6th section) source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(2)
		Farker Arkangel's friend just finished designing his own RPG and now is looking for funding to get it all printed out source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(12)
		Michael Moore and Rainn Wilson tweet about a news article on how asinine the NRA is. Fark: It was an Onion Article. UltraFark: they didn't know it was fake source: newsbusters.org   |   share:	(199)
		Not news: burglar breaks into department store via the roof. Fark: in the middle of the day, during business hours. Fall through the ceiling, scuffle, and tasering ensues (with criminal mastermind mugshot) source: kentucky.com   |   share:	(34)
		You know the economy's been doing poorly when the country club owes back taxes and might get auctioned off at a tax sale. Hmmm, "Fark Country Club" rolls right off the tongue source: courierpostonline.com   |   share:	(23)
		Not news: man fights with neighbor. News: Takes her hostage and tries to burn her house down. Happy ending: Her pro wrestler son saves her life. Fark: By uprooting a tree and throwing it through her window source: tmz.com   |   share:	(99)
		Advertising Age explores Buzzfeed's sponsored posts on FARK: "So Buzzfeed is willing to pay a premium to a site like Fark ... Fark founder Drew Curtis would not say how much of a premium" (6th section) source: adage.com   |   share:	(0)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 411: "Silhouettes 2: Inanimate Silhouettes". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(96)

		Not news: Camera manufacturer doesn't like product review. News: Sends out DMCA takedown notice. FARK: Citing trademark, not copyright, infringement. UltraFARK: The backtracking statement is even worse source: arstechnica.com   |   share:	(34)
		Oh, look, another Rethuglican spouting off at the mouth about Medicare being unsustainable and people getting $3 in services for every dollar they put in and fark it, let's just sick the liberal fact checkers on him. See, I told you...oh, he's right? source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(754)
		Lulemon: We're very sorry the world can see your bits when you go "down dog" in our yoga pants, the manufacturer farked up and sent us a bad batch with too-thin material. Manufacturer: No this batch is exactly like every other one we've shipped source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share:	(184)
(Let's Back Mac)		Farker Mactheknife is preparing to run for North Carolina's House of Representatives in 2014. Be yeasty and help him raise some dough source: igg.me   |   share:	(51)
		The 911 call that saved Fark from another depressing Florida story and UCF from a mass shooting incident source: articles.orlandosentinel.com   |   share:	(84)

		Baltimore resident finds a novel way to fight back against Ticketmaster's insane fees. He uses the law. Fark: He won source: uproxx.com   |   share:	(182)
		Farker with a band could use your help. To get into Rocklahoma 2013, Zero Crossing needs votes badly source: kmod.com   |   share:	(22)
		Calling on the Power Of Fark(tm). Tomorrow is the final day of Round 1 in the Madden 25 cover vote and we have the opportunity to put The Man...The Myth...The Legend...The Jake on The Cover. Let's do this source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(55)
		BBC gives a shout out to Fark for being part of the 'wave of activism' opposing the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act. So put down the Cheetos and get activism-ing, you scoff-law cyberpunks source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(5)
		Ten years ago today was the first day of the Iraq invasion. Farkers debated whether it was a good idea or not. See what we were saying here in the original comment thread from 2003 source: fark.com   |   share:	(616)
		Farker has just released "Richard Partridge's Hawke's Doom", an over-the-top parody novel detailing the ramifications of traveling back in time to score with Hitler's mother source: amazon.com   |   share:	(9)
		Apostrophe ban council reverses decision after being threatened by Farker's source: digitalspy.com   |   share:	(62)

		Cardinals hire new manager, man sought for bestiality charge may be on the lamb, and Carnival becomes the Windows ME of the cruise world: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/10 - 3/16 source: fark.com   |   share:	(13)
		Saint Louis Fark Party, June 1 - Get drunk and climb on stuff, now with hotel info source: fark.com   |   share:	(143)
		Gizmodo thanks FARK for the short tale about an alligator's tail source: gizmodo.com   |   share:	(2)
		Fark favorite vincent_blackshadow has been hospitalized since Superbowl Sunday. His family is in over their heads with bills and you mothercluckers better give like there's no tomorrow. DIT source: fark.com   |   share:	(448)
		An average minute on the Internet now contains 204 million emails, 2 million Google searches, 1.3 million YouTube views, 3 FARK headline submissions source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(26)

		Not news: Russians addicted to sniffing aviation fuel. Fark: Russian bears source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(28)
		Calling on the POWER OF FARK: Need your signature on this whitehouse.gov petition to make March 20 a national holiday to honor Mr. Rogers' birthday. Lets DO THIS source: petitions.whitehouse.gov   |   share:	(43)
(Bay Side Stories)		Visit link on left and listen to interview with really great self-published author Ryll Paul. Visit link on right to poke fun at husband/wife Farkers who run website, thereby getting more traffic to our website source: streetwraith.net   |   share:	(5)
		Impromptu Houston Fark Party on St. Patrick's Day source: fark.com   |   share:	(78)
		Coming up at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Co. Presents, 2+ hours of music hosted by a farker. LGT stream, or try krnn.org source: tunein.com   |   share:	(178)

		Nigerian prince scam works. Fark: Scammer was really Nigerian. Bonus: Victims were all lawyers source: thestar.com   |   share:	(63)
		Not news: Rare opportunity to own something from the "Rocky" movies, at a reasonable price. Fark: Rocky and Adrian's rowhouse on Lambert Street in Philadelphia, walking distance from the Melrose Diner source: phillyburbs.com   |   share:	(23)
		San Francisco FARKapalooza March 16 at Lefty O'Douls source: fark.com   |   share:	(266)
		Once again, Fark's lack of sovereign-nation status costs it a spot on the list of the top 10 drinking countries source: cnn.com   |   share:	(28)
		Boston Farkers Annual St. Paddy's Day Pub Crawl - March 16th @ 1PM source: fark.com   |   share:	(71)

		It's Friday, so that means it's Fark Weird News Quiz time again. Are you ready? No? Well, then just guess at the answers like everybody else does source: fark.com   |   share:	(46)
		Now that the smoke has cleared, FARK's favorite Taiwanese animators give their thoughts about the selection of the new Pope source: youtube.com   |   share:	(13)
		Drunk driver arrested traveling south on northbound highway lanes. "Told she had been going the wrong way, Baron's passenger chimed in, "I've been telling her that for the last 10 minutes," police said." Did the Boston Fark party start already? source: salemnews.com   |   share:	(26)
		Farker is trying to drive cross country without using the interstate. Just needs a little of your time, money source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(33)
		From the department of "no farks left to give" comes Facebook hashtags source: slate.com   |   share:	(82)

		Religion News Service picks a FARK comment as their favorite about the selection of a new Pope (4th section) source: religionnews.com   |   share:	(5)
		Normally Not News: Woman gets her high school diploma. FARK: She is 106 years old source: mansfieldnewsjournal.com   |   share:	(70)
		Lt. General: "There are no rapists in foxholes" Congress: "Oh yeah? Let's check that out, shall we?" Military: "Well...fark" Congress: "Exactly" source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(126)
		Sneaking out to fark during the prom is probably a cool idea. But you should do it while you're a student like your partner, instead of waiting to become assistant principal source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(24)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 410: "It's Bad For Ya". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(84)

		Seattle Times thinks that FARK's football headline is a real Hail Mary source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)
		Olivia Wilde says she got over 17,000 hate-Tweets from Justin Beiber fans for telling him to "put your farking shirt on" source: nypost.com   |   share:	(133)
		Not News: Man loses job. News: for posting video about saving a protected tree. FARK: "It's my best friend" tearful interview source: big1059.com   |   share:	(43)
		How America has Farked up St Patrick's Day (with pictures) source: irishcentral.com   |   share:	(218)
		Behold the power of FARK. Please help Farker Archangel become the band PRIMUS newest music video. Click link and "like" entry #1 of 3 (with the little pimp.) source: facebook.com   |   share:	(4)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: Tortilla-eating man too busy to investigate shooting source: koco.com   |   share:	(10)
		How did Drew make it big? a) $5-a-month TotalFark subscriptions, b) banner ads, c) cocaine-trafficking "franchises" sold to a Mexican cartel, d) "Featured Partner" links, or e) all of the above? source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share:	(67)

		School finds 12-year-old girl had lunch money in her backpack. Fark: enough for lunch for the rest of her scholastic career source: detroitnews.com   |   share:	(44)
		Touching: guy with brain tumor runs marathon. Holy Fark: he wins. Mind Totally Farking Blown: while pushing daughter in a stroller. Speechless: "It'll eat my memory away in the end, but I hope this memory is the last to go and one she never loses" source: outsideonline.com   |   share:	(35)
		Good news, Farkers: Study suggests heavy drinkers get extra brain fuel from alcohol. CHEERS source: sciencenews.org   |   share:	(63)
		This year, the commencement address at Penn is going to be a big farking deal source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(36)
		Not news: Louisville man shouts out threats. News: At an airport, so he's charged with terroristic threatening. Fark: Terroristic threatening is a misdemeanor source: wdrb.com   |   share:	(35)
(Some Guy)		Let's test the Power of Fark® to vote Farker's friend Holly at the Cypress Cafe in Bay St. Louis, MS, to the top of a business contest so she can donate the $5,000 prize to several worthy charities source: nfib.com   |   share:	(9)
		Obama admin funds $1.5 million dollar study to find out why lesbians are fat. Fark: It's sequester-proof source: cnsnews.com   |   share:	(288)
		Madden 25 allows voters the opportunity to put an old school legend on its cover. Come on Power of Fark, The Jake needs its proper recognition source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(185)

(Some TFette)		SUMMON THE POWER OF FARK - TFette is getting shaved on Friday...no, not THAT kind of shaving...to help raise funds...Seriously guys, I'm shaving my...for pediatric cancer treatment...Oh, fark it. Pics in thread, hoping you've already clicked anyway source: hairmassacure.com   |   share:	(37)
		Long-time farker burns his social capital to ask your help with producing a hard science fiction mystery comic source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(18)
		By the power of FARK Please watch this music video and LIKE the Youtube posting. Farker Archangel is in the opening scene (as Filthy.) My buddies have a chance to be the official PRIMUS video for this song. Hope you LIKE it source: youtube.com   |   share:	(10)
		Dear Farkers, I've published my first book and wanted to ask the FARK community to read it and give me some honest opinions - It's free for Kindle this week. Thanks source: amazon.com   |   share:	(21)
		Cancer gets back to its regular life, Tim Tebow nominated as Pope, and 49ers put release papers for David Akers wide right: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/3 - 3/9 source: fark.com   |   share:	(4)
		Not News: Old Farker complains about patent trolls and DRM. Fark: Makes rant into an animated musical short film for kids source: youtube.com   |   share:	(44)
		Fark ready headline: "Man with club foot, woman with teeth 'similar to a meth user' sought in Buford shoplifting Incident" source: patch.com   |   share:	(21)
		News: MLB team allows video assistant to participate in team bunting competition. Fark: He finishes 2nd. Not News: The Cubs source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share:	(15)
		Fellow farker Even With A Chainsaw's band The biatchin' Aardvarks are in a dogfight trying to get votes to qualify for a wildcard bid in 95.5 WBRU's Rock Hunt in Southern New England. Link goes to Radio Station's facebook page for voting source: facebook.com   |   share:	(5)

		Marvel Comics is giving away free digital copies of every #1 issue in the company's history. Over 700 of them. Fark: You have two days to download them... starting... NOW source: marvel.com   |   share:	(54)
		WILL Bully Ray win his first-ever World Title? CAN Sting lead Team TNA to victory over Aces & Eights? DOES ANYONE give a fark about Robbie E vs Robbie T? THIS is YOUR TNA Wrestling Lockdown Thread. (8 pm ET/ 7pm CT, LIVE on PPV) source: impactwrestling.com   |   share:	(504)
		I know it's cheesy to plug my town on Fark. But, seriously you if you have the chance, see the San Francisco Bay Bridge 2 mile light show source: youtube.com   |   share:	(14)
		So what: Britney Spears buys a painting from a sidewalk vendor. WTFark: The Daily Fail writer goes berserk over the lack of quality in the painting source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(53)
		Word problem: Here in 2013, the barber who gave haircuts to Legs Diamond is still working. Legs Diamond died in 1931. According to Fark by-laws, how many miles off this barber's lawn are you required to be? source: recordonline.com   |   share:	(21)
		Kraft joins the NASDAQ 100 on the news that Kraft is TFARK spelled backwards source: marketwatch.com   |   share:	(22)
		Not News: Happy couple get married. Fark: She's sixty-one and he's eight (w/pics) source: thesun.co.uk   |   share:	(68)

		Fark: Officer leaving parking ticket on windshield fails to notice dead body in the driver's seat. DumbAsFark: Twice source: mlive.com   |   share:	(59)
		FARK gets two paragraphs from the Marion Star in their probing article about colon cancer source: marionstar.com   |   share:	(1)
		News: Police sergeant causes a stir when he starts lobbying for a pro marijuana group. Fark: He is also a lobbyist for the tea party source: stltoday.com   |   share:	(63)
		Some Turkish article that uses the word 'fark'. Turns out 'fark' means 'difference' in Turkish. That should get the greenlight. Wait, just to be safe; Your dog wants steak. Duke sucks. Boobies. Drew drank all the vodak (pet peeve) source: hurriyet.de   |   share:	(8)
		Group discusses their top six picks for BBQ joints in Texas. Fark: This is a perfect excuse for Farkers to discuss their favorite BBQ joints around the world source: dallasnews.com   |   share:	(192)
		Fark Party March 9 at the Spawn Point Gamers' Lounge in San Antonio, TX source: fark.com   |   share:	(27)
		Twin Cities Fark Party - Saturday, March 9th - Psycho Suzi's @ 6pm source: fark.com   |   share:	(129)
		Sad: VA state trooper shot and killed in the line of duty. Not News: Judge appoints attorney for defendant. Fark: defendant to Judge "Y'all are going to execute me anyway. Why would I need an attorney?" source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(115)

		Justin Bieber gets all potty mouth with paparazzo, threatens to beat the fark out of him. Good thing his bodyguards were there to hold him back source: latimes.com   |   share:	(59)
		Seattle Times thinks that FARK's Angels headline hits one out of the park source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)
		Remember that haze of stories from the pages of Fark this week? Hope you haven't blown out that short-term memory completely, because it's time for the Fark Quiz source: fark.com   |   share:	(40)
		Update for those of you who were curious: Farkette's son's friend and his software company are almost to their goal of making a reality of their video game that uses literal mind control to toss trucks. And the LA times has taken notice source: latimes.com   |   share:	(10)
		Stripper asks the question that's on every Farker's mind: 'Why can't women show nipples?' (Cleavage shots) source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(231)
		An open letter to EA: I farking told you this would happen source: pcmag.com   |   share:	(379)
		Not news: Pills, diet programs and exercise regimens aren't effective at treating obesity. News: So researchers try simply paying people money not to eat. Fark: It works source: scienceworldreport.com   |   share:	(70)
		The fark Superfecta: get caught reading a pornographic magazine in the women's restroom while smoking a cocaine-laced marijuana cigarette and being accompanied by a small child source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share:	(55)
		Not news (for Fox, that is): Fox copies GOP press release and reports it as 'fair and balanced' news. News: Then discusses it on air with GOP head. Fark: Then asks why GOP hasn't published something similar yet source: thedailydolt.com   |   share:	(74)
		Not news: School cancelled due to vandalism. Fark: It was vandalized with the dangerous substance known to terrorism experts as "yarn" source: woodtv.com   |   share:	(48)
		Good idea: Farking 26-year-old. Questionable idea: When you're 15. Bad idea: She's your stepmom source: usatoday.com   |   share:	(74)
		Florida legislators consider law to limit a Fark-worthy behavior, but don't worry, it's one we have surprisingly few Florida-tagged links about source: 11alive.com   |   share:	(63)

		Animals that don't give a fark about their disabilities; proving once again on how Fark needs a badass tag source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(76)
		Farker's brother and wife getting screwed over by an Austin realtor company. Details on video and their website. They are needing help fighting this source: youtube.com   |   share:	(30)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 409: "Software Hootenanny 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(101)

		The National Geographic, Putting your pet down, and the word 'Douche'. Fark is there source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share:	(3)
		Not news: Woman knocks out another girl in an MMA fight in 39 seconds. Fark: She was born a man. Bonus: Her nickname is "The Queen of Swords" source: mmajunkie.com   |   share:	(66)
		Bill O'Reilly has another "Fark it, we'll do it live" moment source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(88)
		What does the Dow's record high mean for you? Well, you'll still have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck, but you can rest assured in the knowledge that some rich motherfarkers out there are even richer source: nbcnews.com   |   share:	(128)
		It's a Farker's CD release featuring songs about life, love, and even the TSA. Check it out. And the first three people that like it, buy it, and leave a good review for it will get a month of Total Fark source: cdbaby.com   |   share:	(19)

		"Gummy bear" breast implants for eye candy, CNN's pimp name, and the difference between a panda and a drunk guy from Missouri: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/24 - 3/2 source: fark.com   |   share:	(4)
(Lido Beach)		Farker is headed to Sarasota for business in April, specifically Lido Beach. Wondering if any local Farkers to the area can suggest some good local restaurants or bars or other attractions worth visiting while I'm there source: lidobeachresort.com   |   share:	(29)
		Not news: Couple hires a surrogate. News: Baby is defective. Fark: Offer to exchange is rebuffed source: cnn.com   |   share:	(310)
		The iPhone was almost called something iFarking ridiculous source: shortlist.com   |   share:	(24)

		The Columbian's Talking Points says that FARK's recent Minnesota baseball headline makes for a comedy twin killing (3rd section) source: columbian.com   |   share:	(0)
		Seattle Times thinks that FARK's "University of Alabama Weight Room" headline is the heavy hitter of the week. (3rd section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(1)
		Without doubt the bravest man you will ever see on YouTube. Fark: and passionate advocate for the 2nd amendment. Double Fark: apparently there is a full on dust storm in my livingroom source: youtube.com   |   share:	(138)

		Fark's favorite Taiwanese animators look at the NASCAR incident at Daytona source: youtube.com   |   share:	(13)
		Texas saved $73m by de-funding family planning. Fark: Savings turns into a projected $273m loss after a huge spike in unplanned births for low-income families source: nytimes.com   |   share:	(195)
		Not news: Judge finds pastor not guilty. News: Of soliciting gay sex from an undercover cop. Fark: Again. "Your honor, my client was just quoting Psalms, 'thy rod and thy staff they comfort me'" source: hendersondispatch.com   |   share:	(40)
		Navy veteran commemorates all 2,200 military members who died in Afghanistan by writing their names on a wall. Fark: He does it completely from memory source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(82)
		The Dish adds its comments about FARK's new "featured partner links" source: dish.andrewsullivan.com   |   share:	(11)
		Coming up at the top of the hour, it's another edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents, about 2.5 hours of random music, hosted live from Alaska by a Farker. LGT stream or go to KRNN.org source: tunein.com   |   share:	(267)

		Seattle Times uses FARK's clever NFL headline to illustrate the top sports story of the week (2nd section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)
(Some Guy)		Fark Exquisite Corpse: Photoshop these vacant houses (DIT on how it works) source: freeversephotography.com   |   share:	(152)
(Some Producer)		Farker producing his first New York Off Off Broadway show, Incendiary Agents, at the New Ohio Theatre on Chrstopher Street. Help make it a month long Fark Party. Use code FARK for $3 off admission source: nylonfusioncollective.org   |   share:	(10)
		Ex-Miss Delaware Teen USA was paid $1,500 for her now famous porn video. Which equals 25 years of TotalFark in case any Farkettes are wondering source: tmz.com   |   share:	(135)

		News: Idaho to get rid of its governor's mansion. Fark: no governor has ever used it source: ktvb.com   |   share:	(40)
		Fark: Your 3-year-old child is found wandering around naked outside and another 3-year-old naked and unsupervised inside. Holy Fark: Police found your 22-month-old daughter locked in an animal crate source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(114)
		Are you pondering what I'm pondering? No, besides putting pants on a chimp. I'm talking about this week's Fark Weird News Quiz source: fark.com   |   share:	(31)
		The U.S. has an infinite amount of money? So does Zimbabwe, you farking moron source: politicker.com   |   share:	(299)
		Not news: Woman has to use bathroom and stops at restaurant. News: Restaurant charges $5 for non-customers but she doesn't pay. FARK: Sheriff tracks down the woman and the restaurant sends a bill. Double Fark: They won't take her $5 source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share:	(149)
(Rotopope)		So, who is up for a Fark Pope Fantasy League? Someone has already come up with the rules & scoring source: rotopope.wordpress.com   |   share:	(20)
		If ever there were a Fark ready headline, it's this one: "Manhattan Art School Confiscates Refrigerator Full of Semen From Student" source: gawker.com   |   share:	(66)
		SpaceX Falcon due to launch with a capsule full of goodies for the ISS, just after 10am Fark Standard Time. Here's NASA TV's live coverage source: nasa.gov   |   share:	(118)
		"One of the wonderful things about FARK, the weird/funny/stupid news aggregator, has always been its utter simplicity" source: forbes.com   |   share:	(2)

		Not news: Fans throw road flares onto the field. Solution: Ban home fans from entering the stadium. Fark: Fans parachute signal flares over the stadium walls, onto the field source: hurriyetdailynews.com   |   share:	(36)
		Pope Benedict has his "fark you, fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, fark you, I'm out" moment with the College of Cardinals source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share:	(74)
		Fark beer purists would never disgrace their palate by allowing a light beer to even come near their mouth. And they'd be missing out on one of the most artfully created brews known to science source: mentalfloss.com   |   share:	(45)
		Maine State Trooper has an accidental discharge. Fark--while 'shifting' in his seat during a staff meeting source: bangordailynews.com   |   share:	(71)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 408: "Lakes". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(124)

		Farker manages an unsigned band that has snagged a spot on Pain of Salvation's tour. Of course this opportunity comes with costs. We have no label support. If you support independent music, think about sparing some change to make this happen source: indiegogo.com   |   share:	(38)
		Fark-ready headline: Did you buy Chinese male enhancement pills recently? source: nj1015.com   |   share:	(48)
		The news: Animal rights activist accused of trying to hire a hit man to kill someone wearing fur is too crazy to stand trial. The fark: We'll just her go source: cleveland.com   |   share:	(100)
		No decision where to put the Pistorius ankle monitor, Still Bourne the next movie in the franchise, and a trip into space that only costs one toilet seat: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/17 - 2/23 source: fark.com   |   share:	(3)
		Fark: Today's big story is the kid who videoed her teacher stealing from backpacks. FARKITY FARK: Many outlets don't even mention that the principal told the kid to delete the video source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(117)
		Researchers finally tackle an issue near and dear to Farkers: Why can't we stop eating Cheetos? source: popsci.com   |   share:	(11)
		Avid FARK reader Rashida Jones turns 37. Thus, a perfect time to review her 37 hottest photos of all time source: ranker.com   |   share:	(82)
		Sloth gives flower to woman, diabetes to Farkers source: youtube.com   |   share:	(33)
		Danica McKellar hosting new math show for The Nerdist, seeks videos of those who use math on the job-so all you Fark butchers out there oughtta get your sausages ready source: nerdist.com   |   share:	(41)

		First they came for the cigarettes, and I didn't speak out because I didn't smoke. Then they came for the alcohol, and I didn't speak out because I didn't drink. Then they came for the caffeine and I said I'LL FARKING CUT YOU source: online.liebertpub.com   |   share:	(169)
		News: Mother deer and baby deer trapped on frozen lake rescued by Dept of Natural Resources helicopter. FARK: By blowing her ashore source: ctvnews.ca   |   share:	(58)
		What causes teen pregnancy? Farking. What stops it? Fracking source: slate.com   |   share:	(30)
		The Columbian's Talking Points: We love the guys at Fark.com for this headline: "Genius reporter asks: Does Golf Match Play need to be fixed so that #1 seeds never lose?" source: columbian.com   |   share:	(0)
		News: US Congressman says Dick Cheney will go to hell for leading us into Iraq war, Fark: Congressman is Republican Walter "Freedom Fries" Jones, who, incidentally, voted in favor of Iraq war source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(87)
		Bad: Cop faces charges for not investigating crime. Worse: racial taunts. Fark: Against Himself source: thestar.com   |   share:	(53)
		Not News: Democrats are not convinced that Olive Garden constitutes a "quality source of authentic ethnic food". Fark: Republicans think it just might source: publicpolicypolling.com   |   share:	(117)
		The latest boycott for Morrissey's Animal Husbandry Tour: Jimmy Kimmel Show. Reason stated: Other guests include Serial Killers. Fark: Of ducks source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(33)
		Not news: Nepalese woman climbs Mount Everest. FARK: She has done it twice. Ultra-FARK: She did it a week apart source: abc27.com   |   share:	(54)

		Longtime Farker/lurker has his first bigtime writing gig and could use a couple of hits. Hydralisks and terrans go head-to-head in the sci-fi/horror story "The Teacher"; free to read right now source: us.battle.net   |   share:	(19)
		Understandable: Getting tossed out of class for throwing paper airplanes. Fark: Getting tossed out of the Oscars for throwing paper airplanes. UltraFark: An Oscar nominee source: gawker.com   |   share:	(83)
		Beef prices expected to continue rising as supply dwindles, your dog just wants a motherfarking steak source: foxnews.com   |   share:	(127)
		Pretty artist raises money for charity by selling kisses at $2 a pop. Fark: with a double pane glass window between her and the punters source: stuff.co.nz   |   share:	(19)

Not news: Boy is hospitalized after burning himself with a cigarette lighter Fark: Boy's father caught stealing video game systems from hospital's waiting room source: wpxi.com   |   share:

(62)

		Fark makes the news in The Muskegon Chronicle for the Hugh Heffner of Muskegon story, and of course the comments on the Fark site .... which are mostly of the juvenile sex joke and double entendre variety source: mlive.com   |   share:	(2)
		So what's "Joe the Plumber" up to these days? Well he's apparently giving away an AR-15. Why? Because fark you, you liberal weenie that's why source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(88)
		A Virginia Supreme Court justice | Wants to read poetry to us | He sends thugs to the can | Attends poetry slams | And hopes this link doesn't end up under FarkUs source: wtkr.com   |   share:	(11)
		Rescue team saves hypothermic and dehydrated woman lost in Arizona's Superstition Mountains while searching for the fabled Lost Dutchman's mine. Fark: again source: outsideonline.com   |   share:	(55)
		Bad: Pentagon grounds the entire F-35 fleet. Fark: This is apparently a monthly occurrence now source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(121)
		Rihanna and Kate Moss strip naked to... okay Farkettes, now that the guys are gone Operation Velvet Taco is a GO. Team 8 be in position at 1900 hours source: thesun.co.uk   |   share:	(52)
		WWE has invited Glenn Beck to come on Raw to talk with Jack Swagger. We might as well put this story on the sports, entertainment, FarkUs, and politics tabs and just watch the whole thread and world burn source: wwe.com   |   share:	(77)
		"Please take your Farkin' Christmas lights down..... Don't make me tell you again. Thanks Biatch" source: newsnet5.com   |   share:	(82)

		It's Friday and you've been good, so here's your chance to go out with a bang. Fark Weird News Quiz time. Timer starts....NOW source: fark.com   |   share:	(25)
		Jon Huntsman says marriage equality is a conservative cause, and as a conservative he will shoot up your basement-dwelling farker ass if you come within a mile of his daughters source: theamericanconservative.com   |   share:	(128)

		Cool: New map shows 4300 years of meteor activity. Fark: If this is any indication of future impacts, the USA is pretty much screwed source: latimes.com   |   share:	(41)
		Not news: School makes teen change out of inappropriate tshirt at school. Fark: Her "Don't drink and park... accidents cause kids" t-shirt source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share:	(76)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 407: "Office Space". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(54)

		Not news: 23-yr-old woman having sex. News: outside in her yard. Fark: with a pit bull source: lvrj.com   |   share:	(207)
		Scientists acquire power to read minds--of mice. Key results, "Cheese, please", "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?", "Narf Zort", "I taught I taw a bad ole puddy tat", fail to surprise Farkers source: sciencedaily.com   |   share:	(37)
		News: Children on weekend bus road trip text parents about wintery road conditions. FARK: Parents immediately call 911 instead of the 11 adult chaperones on the bus source: cbc.ca   |   share:	(81)
		FIFA introduces goal-line review technology. Germans: yeah, 48 farking years too late source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(43)

		Bad: Low water pressure in your hotel room. Fark: Due to a dead body in the rooftop water tank source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share:	(78)
(Some Fake Fieri)		Guy Fieri forgot to buy the domain name of his restaurant, but since this is Fark, you can bet someone else did, and hilarity ensued source: guysamericankitchenandbar.com   |   share:	(175)
		6' 3", 250-lb woman told to go be fat somewhere else by masseuse. Fark: big lady had just run a half-marathon source: clickondetroit.com   |   share:	(237)
		Help a Farker finish his TV pilot: a thoughtful drama about family and loss ... oh, and it's an animated fantasy adventure with pirate animals source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(21)
		Sure, I voted for Obama 6 times. Didn't everybody? FARK: Said the Ohio poll worker source: foxnews.com   |   share:	(349)
		Nanaimo Daily News (Canada) says that FARK's wrestling headline is a no-holds-barred winner (3rd section) source: www2.canada.com   |   share:	(1)
		The original, screen used Delorean from "Back to the Future" has been restored. Farker concotelli (me) worked on the team. Here's our video showing off the finished car for the very first time. (more pictures in thread) source: youtube.com   |   share:	(46)
		Six words you never thought you'd see in a Fark headline using a 'cl': Wayne Rooney is a class act source: extramustard.si.com   |   share:	(18)
		Kansas requires teachers to lie about catastrophic climate change, Fark to create a Brownbackistan tag source: thinkprogress.org   |   share:	(212)
		Not news: fake dinosaur released in London stunt. Fark: one small girl's terrified reaction source: shortlist.com   |   share:	(57)
		Obama: *smack* Deal with the sequester. Congress: Fark you. Obama: *SMACK* DEAL WITH THE SEQUESTER. Congress: FARK *spits blood* YOU. Obama: *kick to the nads* Don't make me get Biden in here. Congress: Is Benghazi a scandal yet? Obama: *facepalm* source: reuters.com   |   share:	(93)
		"Fark pragmatism, let's get bogged down in semantics", says useless bunch of elected a-holes from everywhere who don't know whether they're congressmen or freshman philosophy majors source: lasvegassun.com   |   share:	(13)

		Detroit Free Press says that FARK's witty Olympic headline easily takes the gold (2nd section) source: freep.com   |   share:	(1)
		Dorner Kebab, and Kim Jong drops the big Un, and Chris Brown smashes his Porsche, but only because he loves it so much: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/10 - 2/16 source: fark.com   |   share:	(6)
		Seattle Times loves the punchline of FARK's clever boxing headline (2nd section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)
		Farkers required - museum seeks brainboxes to solve to solve a cryptic150-year-old message which could hold the key to an "Earthly Paradise" source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share:	(74)

(Project Kajsiab Laos)		Farkette needs your help funding a women's shelter source: projectkajsiablaos.org   |   share:	(25)
		Not News: Electric company wants to raise rates. Fark: On the electricity you have already used. Last year's electricity source: mokena.patch.com   |   share:	(51)
		Farker Knight of the Woeful Countenance wrote a book about Martian Private eyes and asteroids, It's free for your Kindle today or anytime with Amazon Prime. Please check it out source: amazon.com   |   share:	(17)
		Obama deserves credit for cracking down on Obamaphone abuse, says the New York Post, having another one of their what-the-fark-is-Rupert-up-to moments source: nypost.com   |   share:	(62)
		Critics decry Christina Ricci's sheer crop top as "revolting." In related news, "revolting" now means "completely awesome and every Farker is going to click on this link" source: omg.yahoo.com   |   share:	(113)
		Behold: the power of FARK source: phys.org   |   share:	(33)
		With Bayern up another 3 points, 2nd place Dortmund hopes to hold off 4th place Frankfurt, is there any hope for them left? How many Farkers will come in just to comment on how they don't understand what's going on? Mmm Leberkaese source: bundesliga.de   |   share:	(16)
		Bad: You get shot to death. Worse: After being stabbed repeatedly. Fark: After being beaten with... a coconut? source: dnaindia.com   |   share:	(50)
		Enough is enough, I have had it with these motherfarking farts on this motherfarking plane source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share:	(77)
		Not news: Japanese schoolgirls wearing panties. Fark: On their heads. WTF, Ja... actually, wait, I'm okay with this source: inquisitr.com   |   share:	(142)
		Coming up at the top of the hour, it's the return of Livingston Stapler Company Presents, live radio from Alaska hosted by a farker. LGT stream or go to KRNN.com source: tunein.com   |   share:	(339)

		Network World blogger gets a kick out of a Fark comment string discussing a story about office romances: source: networkworld.com   |   share:	(0)
		Not your child? Fark you, pay ongoing support anyways. Child's an adult? Fark you, pay ongoing support anyways. Child's been dead for 20 years? Fark you, pay ongoing support anyways source: wxyz.com   |   share:	(259)

		Okay, pull up your pants, it's time for this week's Fark News Quiz. Just kidding, you don't need pants for this source: fark.com   |   share:	(28)
		Seattle Times says that FARK's Olympic headline outdistances the competition (3rd section) source: seattletimes.com   |   share:	(0)
		Drunk teens prevented from having sex in public by police. FARK: They try again at the same place minutes later source: postandcourier.com   |   share:	(76)
		News: Member of RCMP counter-terrorism unit shackles, abuses detainee. Fark: His son, in the basement source: cbc.ca   |   share:	(32)
		At least one meteor strike confirmed in Chelyabinsk, Russia. Conflicting reports suggest moderate damage, possible evacuations underway. (w/multiple dash cam video HolyFarkness) (now w/working link) source: russianmachineneverbreaks.com   |   share:	(773)

		Detroit Free Press says FARK scores big comedy points with the top NBA headline of the week (4th section) source: freep.com   |   share:	(5)
		Huffington Post quotes a witty FARK headline to illustrate their story about a domestic quarrel (3rd section) source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(1)
		Fark Ready Headline: Southern Illinois family's syrup making mistaken for meth lab source: sj-r.com   |   share:	(123)
		Nice: Parents take adopted child for baby photos. Fark: When he's 13 years old source: kdvr.com   |   share:	(71)
		Apparently some people question how a fire could burn a human body beyond recognition while leaving a perfectly intact drivers license handily available. Fark: The third copy of the license found in a week source: gawker.com   |   share:	(281)
		Problem: Professor grades on a curve. Solution: boycott final so everyone gets the "high" score (a 0) and therefore an A. Fark: it works source: insidehighered.com   |   share:	(192)
		Kansas lawmakers asked to pray for the "dark spiritual areas" of the state. FARK: The areas are the ones with the most Democrats source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(138)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 406: "Pets". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(192)

Cool: One handed juggling. More cool: One handed Rubik's Cube solving. FARK: Doing both at the same time source: clipnation.com   |   share:

(13)

		Ahmadinejad to be shot into outer space, Teen Mom's uterus already in syndication, and Pau Gasol to miss six weeks of trade rumors: some of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 2/3 - 2/9 source: fark.com   |   share:	(11)
		Not News: High School hockey team disqualified from playoffs. News: Violated rules by playing 21 regular season games. FARK: it was a scrimmage source: 940winz.com   |   share:	(15)
		Film Drunk thanks FARK for schooling them on Monsters University source: filmdrunk.uproxx.com   |   share:	(0)
		What's -4^(1/4)? Apparently not what you think it is, according to Google (Fark: Not safe for work) source: nbcnews.com   |   share:	(79)

		Here he is on a silver platter, GOP: A black, Christian neurosurgeon who hates Obamacare, was born into poverty, is against Affirmative Action, and graduated top of his class from Johns Hopkins. Now don't fark it up source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(338)
		Georgia lawmaker wants to make Fark a lot more boring source: onlineathens.com   |   share:	(156)
		Impromptu Twin Cities Fark Party & Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser - this Monday, 2/11/13 from 5pm to 7pm source: fark.com   |   share:	(84)
		New drug helps obese lab rats lose weight without diet or exercise. Fark: Drug was developed to fight canker sores source: cnn.com   |   share:	(39)
(Some Guy)		Not news: Things need names, so of course Farkers can help. News: Moons of Pluto. But wait, if Pluto's not a planet, are they really moons? Anyway, break out your expertise in Greco-Roman underworld mythology source: plutorocks.com   |   share:	(73)
		Farkers: Creative suggestions needed for a free Valentine's Day gift - because it's the thought that counts, right? source: dacula.patch.com   |   share:	(200)
		Not news: Unknown, mostly challengers player wins an ATP250 event in Chile. Still not news: Wins his first career ATP title. Go straight to fark, do not pass news: Against Rafael Nadal. Ultrafark: On clay source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(18)
		News: Locals raise $100K for memorial to honor sailors who died aboard the USS Thresher. Fark: The "memorial" will be a flagpole in the middle of a traffic circle source: seacoastonline.com   |   share:	(44)
		Farker selling his old rod to help pay wife's unexpected medical expenses. Thanks for looking. God bless source: ebay.com   |   share:	(39)
		Dad arrested for allowing his kid to get a head start on being a Farker source: krem.com   |   share:	(37)

"I grew up in Maine. I don't have a nervous breakdown when this happens," said James Woodman, 55. He said he had stocked up on four storm essentials: Triscuits, peanut butter, vodka and toilet paper. "I could last a week now". Out yourself farker source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:

(140)

		News: Hundreds of families notified their college-bound kids awarded 4-year full ride scholarship to Utah university. Fark: Notices were a "clerical error" source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(45)
		Smoking hot 18 year old woman arrested for leaving hickeys on a boy's neck. Fark: A boy half her age source: wpbf.com   |   share:	(200)
		What better way to say Happy Valentine's Day than, "Get the fark out." Law office giving away a free divorce for Valentines day source: wlbz2.com   |   share:	(21)
		Exclusive Dragon's Prophet MMORPG videogame preview. Oh yes, there will be dragons. (Subby thinks Fark should have a 'Dragons' tag.) source: shadowlocked.com   |   share:	(20)
		Bad: Liquor costs up in Canada. Good: Drinking deaths down. Fark: Canadians not nearly as rosy and friendly as they used to be source: medpagetoday.com   |   share: