Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Tournament time Fark party in the Holy City with a side of Drew Curtis. Duke STILL sucks Go Kentucky  (fark.com)	(3)
		Not news: Constituent calls Congressman's office to voice his opinion on health care. News: Staffer hangs up, calls Capital Police on him. Fark: Capital Police tells staffer to STFU and take the call  (biggovernment.com)	(96)
		The role of Captain America is now Chris Evans' to lose. Well, at least it's not Channing farking Tatum  (chud.com)	(59)
		Not news: A car priced at $76,500. News: It's a 1970 Nissan. FARK: A 7.4 oz. platinum toy Nissan car  (jalopnik.com)	(41)
		Dumb: Forgetting to clear your browser cache. Dumber: Calling in IT guy to upgrade your computer. Fark: IT guy's mom gets you arrested on child porn rap. Happy ending: Supreme Court tells cops to suck it  (torontosun.com)	(180)
(Wizbang)		Why Obama would fit in perfectly on Fark: "Like all trolls, President Obama is impervious to logic, recognition of the failure of his plans and the irrational character of his rhetoric and vulgar flavor of his behavior"  (wizbangblog.com)	(175)
		Fark-ready headline of the day: Shark-bitten crocodile poop fossils found  (wired.com)	(30)

		The producers of the Captain America movie aren't farking around anymore, they're serious this time. The list to play Cap is down to three people. They think you'll be pleasantly supr...oh Jesus H. Christ, are you farking kidding me?  (slashfilm.com)	(104)
(Planetary.org)		Not news: International Space Station imaged from the ground. Fark: In the X-Ban spectrum (w/pic)  (planetary.org)	(28)
		Oh, it's a banner farking day at the old Bender family; a new pill can halt the damage cigarettes cause to your lungs, so smoke up Johnny  (io9.com)	(125)
		Remaking Overboard, really? Well I guess it wasn't a horrible movie, oh and Goldie Hawn was in it, so you could get Kate Hudson to do her mom's role and....Jennifer Lopez? That's the stupidest farking thing I've ever heard  (cinematical.com)	(52)

		Sad Status Quo: Making your opponent in a bylaw debate sound scary by saying you refuse to be identified, claiming "fear of retaliation". Fark: In a debate about a leash-free park. Your dog: Steak, please  (thespec.com)	(30)
(mediaite.com)		At SXSWi 2010, the media takes some time to fret about its own future. Needless to say, Fark's very own Drew Curtis is on hand to chill everyone the hell out (4th paragraph)  (mediaite.com)	(3)
		USA Today can't stop laughing at Fark's headline about an illuminated Toyota sign in Wrigley Field (shoutout appears in the last paragraph)  (content.usatoday.com)	(4)
(Poynter Online)		"Wikipedia, Digg.com, Fark - they all are communities of people built around a common purpose, doing more together than they could do alone." In related news, Farkers have a common purpose (5th paragraph)  (poynter.org)	(49)
(Law.com)		Not News: Interest group advocates single-payer system. Fark: For lawyers and legal services. "With attorney-legislators scrutinizing and planning the reform of medicine...it is only fitting"  (legalblogwatch.typepad.com)	(48)
		Last chance to sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search for Fark, no pword required. Duke sucks  (games.espn.go.com)	(225)
		Today's Fark-Ready headline "Sleeping man shocked after cold man jumps into bed"  (news.yahoo.com)	(45)
(Auburn Journal)		12-year old diabetic NASCAR fan needs the Power Of FARK to win Toyota's racecar design contest. Because Kyle Busch is driving, and diabetics are used to pricks  (auburnjournal.com)	(36)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 254: "Farkitecture" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(248)

(Some Model)		Kate Moss addicted to an "online chat website." So, what's her Fark handle?  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(78)
		If you think the Captain America casting is a clusterfark, well, you're right, but so were these other movies and they turned out alright, most of them at least  (cinematical.com)	(31)
		After all these years, Michael Caine is still one bad motherfarker. Samuel L. Jackson would be wise to pay attention  (chud.com)	(72)
(Some Guy)		Not News: Reporter does a video interview with Oakland Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell. Fark: He is driving away the whole time  (player.theplatform.com)	(46)

		Not news: City wants a statue for its anniversary celebration. News: 400th anniversary, making it one of the oldest in the US. Fark: They hired the guy who sculpted Yoda  (dailypress.com)	(38)
		Directors Bill Condon, Sofia Coppolla, and farking Gus van Sant have all been contacted by Summit Entertainment about possibly directing the last of the two Twilight films. Where's the No Farking Chance tag?  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(48)
(Valley Indy)		News: Police officer on trial after an internal affairs investigation. Fark: For stealing a $24 garden hose that was later found in the police station  (valley.newhavenindependent.org)	(50)
		Great: saving your life by making an emergency landing on a nearly-deserted beach. Fark: the beach was nearly deserted, so you know how this ends  (foxnews.com)	(177)

		Fark gets a warm reception from The Seattle Times for its headline about Snuggie-wearing Cavaliers fans  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
(Some Guy)		Not News: Mike Tyson to host his own TV show. News: On Animal Planet. Fark: It's a show about the competitive sport of pigeon racing  (broadcastingcable.com)	(40)
		Thai protesters to spill blood on the steps of parliament. Fark: They'll be spilling their own blood. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the very definition of "doing it wrong"  (abc.net.au)	(67)
(Some Stupid Brithead)		Liam Gallagher says the reason he didn't acknowledge Noel when accepting the award for "Best Album Of 30 Years" for (What's The Story) Morning Glory...wait, THAT was the best album of 30 years? WHAT THE FARK, BRITAIN?  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(40)
		"Hear that, math nerds? Pi is stupid, and God himself said so"  (aolnews.com)	(6)
(Drew)		Why lost productivity due to March Madness is a load of crap, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/7 - 3/13  (fark.com)	(28)
		Is...is that a painting of Batman fighting a shark....does Batman have a farking lightsaber?  (io9.com)	(182)
		Enjoy Fark while you can, for these are The Good Old Days of The Internet™  (cracked.com)	(110)
		News: Rielle Hunter finally interviewed about John Edwards affair. Fark: along with a pantsless photoshoot in GQ  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(101)
		Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez "The Internet cannot be something open where anything is said and done." and is calling for stricter controls. Looks like the Fark party in Caracas is a no go at this time  (reuters.com)	(266)

		Improptu Austin Fark Party Tonight (with Drew in attendance) at Peche  (fark.com)	(12)
		Don't like Cookie Monster? Too farkin' bad. This is SHMHC, not Air Supply Sunday. Veil Of Maya ~ "It's Not Safe To Swim Today"  (youtube.com)	(127)
		EDITOR'S NOTE: Joe Peacock is a staffer at Fark.com, one of the best sources for weird news  (aolnews.com)	(4)
		Germany to open 18km clothing optional hiking trail. It's not nudes, it's Fark  (smh.com.au)	(49)

		Not News: Guy has picture taken with Jay Leno. FARK: He has "COCO FTW" written on his palm  (tmz.com)	(90)
(Some Guy)		Google takes aim at Fark with Reader Play. Drew seen heading to Silicon Valley looking to take some aim of his own  (pcpro.co.uk)	(48)
(Poughkeepsie Journal)		Former NY high school student awarded $1.25m for being picked on. ""His high school years were destroyed...The jury found he endured 3 years of living hell." In other news, every Farker on the planet has lawyered up  (poughkeepsiejournal.com)	(187)

(Some KK13)		Hotel plans are changing for the Chicago Fark Party. DIT  (allegrochicago.com)	(13)
		News: College student cries discrimination after University denies class field trip. Fark: Age discrimination  (abcnews.go.com)	(66)
(Some Guy)		News: U.S. Supreme court to rule on federal sex offender confinement law. Fark: Scalia is the voice of reason  (dailycontributor.com)	(132)
		New Zealand man run over by wife. Fark: Twice  (telegraph.co.uk)	(44)
		The video for Lady Gaga's "Telephone" featuring Beyonce is out, HOLY LIVING fark (some Not safe for work language and skin)  (youtube.com)	(377)

		Man fed up with his high water bill does the only logical thing: he torches his home. Fark: the bill was for $70  (cbs4.com)	(67)
		Fark it, we're doing six cores  (pcmag.com)	(93)
		Canadian teabagger: "Debates about monetary policy are monopolized by a handful of economists speaking in unintelligible jargon." Economists: "You sound bitter about that F in Econ. Go back to trolling Fark"  (network.nationalpost.com)	(60)
		Calling all NOLA Farkers: interested in a Spring crawfish boil in April? Tabasco v. Crystal v. Louisiana Hot Sauce argument starts to the right  (google.com)	(63)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 253: "I'm a Geek, and I'm Proud of It". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(234)

		Boston Farkers REMINDER: 4th annual Farkers St. Patrick's Day pub crawl in Cambridge this Saturday 3/13. Meet at the Field at 1pm  (fark.com)	(1)
		Not news: Woman decides to rob people. News: Successfully robs 11 people. Fark: Robs $6  (nbclosangeles.com)	(50)
		Not news: Gunman prompts school lockdown. Fark: Gunman was wielding a Nerf gun  (omaha.com)	(107)
		Not News: Three Republicans are running for Harry Reid's senate seat. News: Two of them are teabaggers. Fark: They're trying to out teabag each other  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(177)
		Town puts of street signs warning drivers of drunk pedestrians. With a picture that any Farker would be proud of  (telegraph.co.uk)	(65)
		Not news: Facing a year in jail for criminal possession of a weapon after hitting a cop. Fark: With a snowball  (nydailynews.com)	(111)

		I'll bet you thought you wouldn't encounter a news story today about a wolverine making sweet, sweet love to a tree. Well sir, that's why you have Fark  (sfgate.com)	(96)
		Ars Technica asks readers to turn off ad-block on its website to help save the site. On that note, if Farkers out there don't mind turning off adblock for Fark we'd sure appreciate it too -Drew (link fixed)  (arstechnica.com)	(705)
(610 WTVN)		News: triple shooting on Ohio State's campus. Fark: didn't involve a football player  (wtvn.com)	(146)
		Not News: LA City Council can't say "no" to any expenditures. News: Because they have a computer that automatically votes "yes" when they're not in chambers. FARK: Giving them more time for lobbyists and cigarettes  (latimes.com)	(46)
(state journal register)		Not news: Man has heart attack while on the phone with his cell provider. Fark: the operator that saves his life is named Hart  (sj-r.com)	(55)

(fox chicago)		News: Girl sick for two years from wearing improperly made eyeglasses. Fark: The eyeglass place apologized and offered her a $5 bottle of lens cleaner  (myfoxchicago.com)	(186)
(Drew)		Drew talks about earthquake mania, Selection Sunday, and the James Cameron Reaction Watch. Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/28 - 3/6  (fark.com)	(38)
		Not news: school costs six times more than the top college in the country. News: the school turns out students that are still functionally illiterate. Fark: it's kindergarten  (abcnews.go.com)	(73)

(Some Actress)		Jennifer Aniston is sponsoring a naming contest for her womanly scent. Let's help her out, Farkers. (Voting enabled)  (okmagazine.com)	(183)
		You Farkers can keep resting easy. Exercise is useless. However, you might have to put down the bacon  (montrealgazette.com)	(190)
(Daily Home)		Congratulations are in order for Talladega College men's basketball team for winning their second straight USCAA Championship. Fark: The TC women's team won the USCAA national championship too  (dailyhome.com)	(23)
		You know all those commercials that try to show teens just how bad binge drinking can be for them? This is Fark, you know the results  (npr.org)	(274)

		Drug dealer has a doormat that says "Come back with a warrant." You're on Fark, so you know what happened next  (9news.com)	(40)
		Not news: Two men arrested for fighting. Fark: Over someone's favorite parking spot at McDonald's  (thedenverchannel.com)	(34)
		Not news: Person spends $44 million on nine waterfront mansions. Fark: Person is 11-years-old  (washingtonpost.com)	(36)
(Some Farker)		I think this guy's onto something. Subby wonders what his FARK handle is  (orient.bowdoin.edu)	(125)
		Ski mask? Check. Gun? Check. Getaway vehicle and driver? Check. Intended target is a fully locked, drive-through only bank, with several witnesses in line? Fark  (jacksonville.com)	(24)

		News: The Catholic Church's child abuse scandal spreads to Germany, including to the Regensberg choir. Fark: The Pope's brother led the choir for 30 years  (nytimes.com)	(51)
		News: One man shot in shoulder by another man. News+: After "ramming each other like bumper cars" in road rage. Fark: "It is unclear at this time which driver was shot" according to the Police Detectives  (firstcoastnews.com)	(21)
(Casey Morans)		Chicago Fark Party reminder: Saturday, April 10th, 8pm at Casey Morans. Drew will be there and so will YOU  (caseymorans.com)	(125)
		Not news: Some eight-year old princess doesn't want to go to school due to bullying. Fark: She really is a Princess  (breitbart.com)	(121)
		Not interesting: Car driver accidentally hits ladder. Slightly more interesting: While man is on ladder. Fark: Three times in thirteen seconds  (youtube.com)	(45)
		Ke$ha slams Britney Spears for "miming". Britney responds, "who the fark is that?"  (starpulse.com)	(75)

		Rumors spike about Chicago getting second NFL team. Mayor meets with former commish, and admits subject comes up. Fark: also wants second baseball team in addition to White Sox  (wbbm780.com)	(112)
		"Lost" writers were just farking with us all along  (washingtonpost.com)	(464)
		Equal opportunity harrassment: Claims by men against women in the workplace doubling. Fark: Twice as many men also happier  (hosted.ap.org)	(97)
(Some Guy)		You can help Farker MisterSparkle win a video contest and donate all $250,000 to charity. Cost to you: one mouse click with your clicky mousefinger  (doritosviralocity.ca)	(158)
		It's almost that time again. Sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search on Fark, no pw necessary. Duke sucks  (games.espn.go.com)	(57)
(Some Kentucky Guy)		Not News: Man loses his job. News: He's a sheriff who improperly used his firearm. Fark: To shoot his way out of the jail cell he locked himself in  (courier-journal.com)	(44)
		Cool: "Everything that can happen will happen in the multiverse - an infinite number of times" Fark: In an infinite number of other universes, you are getting it on right now with Rosie O'Donnell  (newscientist.com)	(183)
(Fairbanks News-Miner)		Not news: Man attempts to pass forged check. News: To buy a pickup truck. Fark: While out on bail for attempting the same trick three other times. Responding officer: "What are you doing?" Perp: "Being stupid"  (newsminer.com)	(16)
		"Sex mad" 19-year-old female cop gets fired after trying to fark everything in a uniform. Someone actually complained about this. Why yes, there is a pic  (news.com.au)	(229)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 252: "Something's Mising" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(134)

		News: Political document found declares Republican donors as ego-maniacs who respond to fear. Fark: It's an RNC fundraiser presentation  (politico.com)	(203)
		News: Three LA teachers get suspended. Fark: for giving students pictures of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in Black History Month parade  (abcnews.go.com)	(241)
		Comcast responds to questions and criticisms about its "unlimited usage" and manages to fark everything up again  (consumerist.com)	(42)
		GOP lawmaker wants Reagan to replace Grant on the US $50 bill, because Reagan is the greatest president ever and all Grant did was WIN THE FARKING CIVIL WAR  (foxnews.com)	(579)
		Not news: Japan Airlines battles black market in flight uniforms. Fark: there is a black market for uniform fetishists in Japan  (telegraph.co.uk)	(34)

		Topeka changing name to Google, Kansas. Could Farkansas be next?  (wbbm780.com)	(136)
(Drew)		Bus drivers Kramden to storm sewers, coriolis effect swirlies, and 12-parsec intermissions: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/21 - 2/27  (fark.com)	(27)
(Winnipeg Free Press)		Punishment pending in the lapdancing teacher incident. Fark: To the students who recorded it  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(106)
(Some Guy)		If Mythbuster Grant Imahara gets 100,000 followers on Twitter he will build Craig Ferguson a Robot Skeleton Sidekick, and he's only 8,000 away. Perhaps Fark could help make this a reality  (twitter.com)	(273)
		56 years ago today, the US detonated its largest nuclear bomb. Fark: It was almost three times more powerful than the scientists thought. Umm, sorry about your island  (youtube.com)	(62)

		Obama last week: starting health care over would be wasteful and pointless. Public: Oh? Enjoy these lower poll numbers. Obama this week: you'll be happy to know I had the GOP write me a new bill. Fark those Dems anyway, amiright?  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(80)
(Some Filthy Guy)		"I don't care how many orifices you have, Cop Out will fark you in all of them. You got pierced ears? Expect to find director Kevin Smith's dick in them before you get out of the theater"  (bigempire.com)	(80)
(DigitalSpy)		For anyone still paying attention to the joyless farking Pussycat Doll saga, apparently they're back together and another member's left the group. Not the dude  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(17)
		Not news: Woman has her house sold via auction because she couldn't pay her bill. Fark: A $68 bill from the dentist  (9news.com)	(188)
		Canada's economy expands at annualized rate of five per cent in the fourth quarter, according to the most boring headline on Fark today  (edmontonjournal.com)	(23)
		Reminder: It's a D.C. Fark Party at Harry's. And then it's a screening of Troll 2 at E Street Cinema. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHD  (fark.com)	(6)
		Bad: You get in a car accident . Worse: you knock down a power line. Fark: you piss on a live wire and electrocute yourself  (startribune.com)	(16)

News: Couple grabs jewelry from store and runs. Fark: They leave their 4 yr old son behind  (philly.com)

(40)

		News: Customer satisfaction increases after call center was moved from India back to the United States. Fark: Move actually saves money in the long term  (detnews.com)	(55)
		Not News: Kurt Busch wins pole at Las Vegas. News: With a record breaking qualifying time. Fark: Ahead of 17 other drivers who also broke the same record  (nascar.com)	(27)
		I'm a Farker in San Diego. Does tsunami 'advisory' mean I should GTFO? Supposed to be here at noon..What should I do?  (signonsandiego.com)	(438)
		Not news: Hearing, "Spare change, guv'nor?" Fark: Having it as the Tory election slogan. Extra-farklicious: The Lib Dems pretending they have a chance in the elections  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(12)
(Mother Jones)		Birther, Truther, Tea Partier, Oath Keeper, freeper, Christian, and Fark Independent® named "Pray" prepares for the day "Hitlery" Clinton or Barack Hussein "Osama" declare martial law, unmask as lizzard people  (motherjones.com)	(188)
		Not News: Snow predicted. News: People panic, run to the store for bread and milk. Fark: Smart people stock up on cat food and kitty litter as we prepare for yet another snowy Caturday  (washingtonpost.com)	(720)

		Bad: you have sex with a goat. Worse: you get caught. Fark: it makes international news. TotalFark: because the owner demands you initiate traditional wedding ceremonies  (news.com.au)	(67)
		Chicago Fark Parties are back: Saturday April 10th, 8pm at Casey Moran's in Wrigleyville. Drew will be there  (fark.com)	(40)

		Harry Reid accurately states that "no one has talked about reconciliation". You know, except for the Senate, the House, the President, all major political pundits and the entire bozosphere of the Fark politics page  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(149)
		The casting for the upcoming Captain America movie, which the director said he wanted done by March 1st, has become a complete and total clusterfark  (chud.com)	(84)
		Customer to movie theater manager: your theater sucks. Manager to customer: go fark yourself and find a different theater  (consumerist.com)	(400)
		The Seattle Times applauds Fark's headline about the Chargers releasing LaDainian Tomlinson (third section from the bottom)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 251: On the Streets. Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(221)

(Some Golfer)		Not news: A bunch of white guys are coming to the Augusta area for the Masters Tournament. Fark: It's the KKK  (chronicle.augusta.com)	(154)
		Apparently, Fritz Henderson, the CEO who ran GM into bankruptcy and government bailout, knows so much about the company and the industry that they've hired him back as a consultant. Fark: at $3000 an hour  (money.cnn.com)	(71)
		Not news: Insurance company raises rates. News: California tells insurance company they aren't allowed to. Fark: Insurance company tells California to go to hell  (mobile.latimes.com)	(184)

		Not News: City fights to euthanize "vicious dog", News: dog is tiny showdog Dachsund, Fark: who bit a vet tech during dental surgery  (thedenverchannel.com)	(318)
		Doctors find drug that apparently cures melanoma. Still no cure for Fark clichés  (nytimes.com)	(59)
		Emerge from your Kingdom of Shadows and join the DC Farkers on Friday, March 5th as we get liquored up at Harry's and then see Troll 2 at E Street Cinema  (fark.com)	(10)
		Not news: Woman attacked in street. News: With a sword. Fark: Attacker said the reason for the assault was "Four quarts low on the truck" TotalFark: Did Subby mention attacker is a psychiatrist?  (local12.com)	(57)

(Drew)		Slutty genes, King Tut's failed pyramid scheme and the street value of illegal poultry: Fark's favorite headlines of the week from 2/14 - 2/20  (fark.com)	(30)
(FrogSoda)		Obviously this person has never watched a video on Fark  (frogsoda.com)	(11)
(Some Guy)		Stereotypes for users of 40 websites."Fark: People who laugh at the word 'news'"  (lalawag.com)	(167)
		Dumb: Man has thousand mile commute to work because he decided to keep his job with GM. Fark: To save money  (news.yahoo.com)	(135)

		Phoenix Fark Party on March 13, 2010; anyone who doesn't show is a jerk. DIT  (fark.com)	(13)
		Dear Fark, please help me understand why this video has 52 million views. Love, submitter  (youtube.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)		How many local, state, and federal agencies does it take to arrest a "major drug dealer?" Answer: 10. Fark: For less than a gram  (galvestondailynews.com)	(98)

		National Geographic Channel is going to do "Explorer: Vampire Forensics." Oh, for fark's sake  (starpulse.com)	(52)
		A masked man, a citizens group, a judge and other motorists are behind the fight against photo enforcement, ensuring there will be plenty of Fark headlines from Arizona  (latimes.com)	(106)
		Rhino pregnancy fuels hope for endangered species, rage amongst Fark Independents®  (cnn.com)	(47)
		Google engineer talks about his goal to caption the internet. Well, Fark's pretty much got the cat pictures wrapped up  (edition.cnn.com)	(23)
		Dead skin, carpet and upholstery fibers, and dirt from outside. If you said "What's currently in Paris Hilton's cha-cha", you're probably wrong, but definitely a Farker. It's "what is dust?"  (labspaces.net)	(21)
(Some Guy)		Today's Fark-ready headline: "Gay Guardsman Still Drills With Unit"  (military.com)	(53)
		Fark: Hockey in danger of being removed from the Olympics due to dominance by America. Not News Anymore: It's Women's Hockey  (olympics.fanhouse.com)	(73)
		Councils in the UK are issuing parking tickets to their own vehicles, then refusing to pay, then suing themselves. Stupid tag in use because 'Farking Idiots' tag unavailable  (thesun.co.uk)	(30)
(Some Old Dude)		Not news: Man caught with a video camera in a screening of Avatar. News: He's 88 year old... Fark: And was filming it for his wife, who's too old to get to the movies these days. Aww  (theherald.com.au)	(92)

(Synth Guy)		Turn any website into a musical composition. Fark.com sounds like Radiohead performing a bowel evacuation after a night of chili peppers and PBR  (codeorgan.com)	(58)
		Deadly minaret collapse in Morocco sends reporters scrambling to figure out what the fark a "minaret" is  (edition.cnn.com)	(114)
(techradar.com)		Tech Radar celebrates Photoshop's 20th birthday with a Fark shoutout: "In the hands of the manipulators at Fark.com... (Photoshop) cracks us up laughing." (3rd paragraph from the bottom)  (techradar.com)	(0)
		Not News: Parents ban their 6 children from technology. Fark: Picture of their house looks like it is out of Lemony Snicket  (dailymail.co.uk)	(224)
(Some Guy)		In one hand a WWII grenade, in the other a lighter. Since this is Fark, you know what happens next  (failuremag.com)	(67)

		Not news: School issues laptops complete with webcams to students. Fark: School then activates webcams to spy on students and their families  (boingboing.net)	(410)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: "Pamela Anderson is Silver, Sparkly & Skanktastic"  (starpulse.com)	(47)
		Scientists rewrite life's code as a series of four-letter words. Well, Fark  (newscientist.com)	(55)
		Akon admits that he's the one to blame for you having to hear Lady Gaga's name mentioned 11 times every farking day  (starpulse.com)	(47)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 250: "Farktography Classic: Reflections 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(208)

		Windows security update blue-screens computers that have a malware rootkit installed. Fark: Rootkit authors issue a fix, so you don't have to uninstall their rootkit  (blogs.pcmag.com)	(46)
(Business Insider)		New York Times print and digital divisions apparently in a fierce turf war over iPad distribution of the paper. Fark: Print division wants to charge $30/month for an iPad subscription  (businessinsider.com)	(52)
		News: Retired NFL player can still run a 4.43 40-yard dash. Fark: At age 50  (backporch.fanhouse.com)	(54)

		News: Lawyer for crook calls detectives to turn in item his client stole. Fark: a 30" Newtonian reflector telescope  (ksat.com)	(75)
		You called it, Fark: proposal at NY Rangers game a fake  (outofbounds.nbcsports.com)	(52)
(Drew)		Drew attends TED, but fails to steal the seat from Bill Gates' wife. Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 2/7 thru 2/13  (fark.com)	(51)
		Pro tip: If you want to get away with euthanising your lover, it's not best to broadcast it on-air at the BBC Fark: Even the East Midlands programme. *Someone* watches that, apparently  (timesonline.co.uk)	(25)

		So what: Guy jumps off roof into snow drift. Fark balls of steel: The roof of a five-story building  (break.com)	(33)
		Sad: Man, unemployed for a year, builds igloo to live in. Fark: Has cable, surround sound and plenty of ice cold beer  (cleveland.com)	(123)
		Not news: you have no privacy. News: you can find out if your browser signature can be tracked. Fark: to find out, you enter your browser signature into an online database  (arstechnica.com)	(58)
		Southwest offers a 'heartfelt' apology to Kevin Smith. Fark: by calling him 'Not So Silent Bob' and explaining in detail just why he was too fat to allow on the flight  (content.usatoday.com)	(233)
		Police bust Massachusetts bird-fighting ring. Fark: finches  (metrowestdailynews.com)	(43)

		Scary: Woman calls 911 because her baby is choking. Hero: 911 dispatcher saves the baby by talking the woman through the situation. Fark: It turns out that the dispatcher was the baby's father  (msnbc.msn.com)	(104)
		The venerable ABC news/entertainment people recommend that Jennifer Aniston make a sex tape in order to save her career. ABC .... I think I speak for all Farkers when I say, "I love you guys."  (abcnews.go.com)	(43)
		The number one non-chocolate Valentine's Day candy no longer taste like Pepto-Bismal and is now with the times with "TWEET ME" and "TEXT ME." Still no "FARK ME"  (npr.org)	(65)
		The Department of Homeland Security has disclosed that it will be monitoring the comments and posts on websites. It will be watching the Drudge Report, the Huffington Post, Twitter, Google. So, Farkers are safe for now. Right ??..... RIGHT??  (abcnews.go.com)	(282)
		Apparently things aren't bad enough in U.K. state schools, so the next step is to bring in experts to explain why kids are stupid. Fark: One of the experts is Goldie Hawn  (timesonline.co.uk)	(49)
		Fark: tea drinkers banned from historic abbey. UltraFark: for slurping their tea too loudly  (thesun.co.uk)	(57)

		High-class entertainment even Farkers can enjoy: The Greatest Tenor Crack Ever  (youtube.com)	(58)
		Lexington Fark Party with Drew, Tucker Max and KY Sportsradio Feb 13th  (fark.com)	(233)
		"The Hills" star Lauren Conrad has scored her second New York Times bestseller. Oh, for fark's sake America  (starpulse.com)	(31)
(wxii12.com)		83-year-old man met his 74-year-old wife online. Yes, their Fark account numbers are lower than yours  (wxii12.com)	(85)
		Aww: Husband of 37 years makes valentine. News: Half-mile-wide valentine. Fark: Manure  (twincities.com)	(52)

(World Tribune)		Eat, drink, Fark and watch MTV for tomorrow the Chinese are coming  (worldtribune.com)	(147)
		Apparently there's an insidious new worm going around, and it seems as though Farkers might be particularly susceptible (Not safe for work)  (theonion.com)	(33)
		In memory of Bufu, please join the DC Farkers at 5pm on Saturday the 13th  (fark.com)	(148)
		Cool: Isaac Asimov's "Foundation" trilogy to be adapted into three 3-D big-screen epics. Fark: Directed by Roland Emmerich  (moviesblog.mtv.com)	(176)

(Zadan)		Dear Fark, i present to you: James Shubin. And he's awesome  (zadan.nl)	(40)
(TUAW)		A history of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, presented by Farker and Mythbuster Adam Savage, featuring swords and Barney the Dinosaur  (tuaw.com)	(57)
		Fark Headline  (break.com)	(131)
		Not news: Debt collectors repeatedly call, threaten man about unpaid vehicle loan. Not news: He is pressing criminal charges and suing for harassment. Fark: Man never had a loan; the debtor once used him as a "reference"  (consumerist.com)	(73)
		Fark: Man with outstanding warrant gets lost, calls police, who help him find his way to their station  (cleveland.com)	(12)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 249: "Let There Be Light". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(240)

(Some Who Dat)		Not news: flight cancelled because pilots were 2.5 hours late, News: and drunk, FARK: because of the Saints Super Bowl Parade  (wwltv.com)	(39)
		Despite Fark's great Detroit vote, MTV is sending "Jersey Shore" to Miami  (avclub.com)	(113)
		Slash's top 10 farkin' guitar riffs of all farkin' time are pretty farkin' monstrous, man  (pastemagazine.com)	(85)
		Muppets get the Fark treatment  (youtube.com)	(38)

(Some Car Guy)		Not news: Recession forces automaker to replace V8 engines with V6s. Fark: It's Ferrari  (autocar.co.uk)	(35)
		Research shows how colors describe happiness vs. depression. The quest for the elusive fark greenlight finally explained  (news.yahoo.com)	(45)

		"We'll never be rid of "partisan games" because politicians, being partisans, object only when the other party benefits from them. Or one's own party gets embarrassed by them." In related news, Fark needs a THIS tag  (online.wsj.com)	(125)
(Not Drew)		While Drew's recovering from his party last night, here are some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/31 - 2/6  (fark.com)	(11)
		New research finds that beer is good for your bones. In a related study, researchers concerned that Farkers are damn near indestructible  (abcnews.go.com)	(62)

		Public: So which part of "No, you retarded pack of weasels, we don't want anything to do with that farking mountain of shiat called ObamaCare" was unclear?  (politico.com)	(232)
		You heathen farkers could do with some church music this fine Sunday morning...so have a seat right there (so to speak) and listen to a 14-year-old Aretha Franklin on "While The Blood Runs Warm In My Veins"  (youtube.com)	(17)
		Super Bowl stress can trigger heart attacks, so be careful ouWHAT THE FARK KINDA CALL WAS THAT, YOU STUPID SON OF A BIaaaerrrrrrrrk... *thud*  (ajc.com)	(39)
		Just another day's work: LeBron drops 24 on the Knicks. Fark: In a row. Holy Fark: in 5:29  (sports.espn.go.com)	(43)
		NEWS: Last-place Portsmouth scores three goals to Manchester United's two at Old Trafford. FARK: All three were own goals, United wins 5-0  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(44)

		Not news: Lesbian couple gets to adopt 1 year old. Usual Crap: Religious Right goes nuts about it, sends out hateful email with pictures. Fark: Is there. Seriously, Fark is there  (orlandosentinel.com)	(613)
		OK Farkers, pop quiz. Which utilizes more lines of code for its internal electronics: an F-22 or a Mercedes?  (news.discovery.com)	(143)
		Not news: Devils win News: by scoring 3 goals in the last 3 minutes Fark: with the last 2 goals in the last 30 seconds  (msn.foxsports.com)	(42)

		Who dat gonna come to the Fark Super Bowl party in Vegas? Drew is, and it's gonna be his birthday too  (fark.com)	(124)
		A domestic violence and anger management counselor gets mad. FARK: And pulls a gun on two men. Bonus: Who turn out to be federal marshals  (myfoxdc.com)	(57)
		Five totally true national stereotypes. Fark got a Florida tag for a reason  (cracked.com)	(150)
		Stewart Skullfarks Blogosphere  (thedailyshow.com)	(110)
(Some egregious cockup)		Not news: Middle-Eastern countries disagree on something, News: Saudi Arabia, UAE and Bahrain refuse to accept a new Pakistani Diplomat. Fark: Because his name translates as "Biggest Cock" in Arabic  (blog.foreignpolicy.com)	(148)
		Yeah, this list of StarWarsified band names is pretty funny, but I guarantee the humorists of Fark can do better. Voting enabled  (wired.com)	(118)
		News: local football prospect offered scholarship at USC, Fark: He's thirteen  (sports.espn.go.com)	(52)

		5,000,000 Fark threads, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. Thanks for nothing Drew Curtis, owner of Fark.com and CEO of Fark, Inc  (fark.com)	(4456)
		P-Bruins Fark Party - RI  (fark.com)	(10)
		Farkers, MTV is having a vote to see where the Jersey Shore mutants live for next season. Detroit is only barely in the lead. Let's fix that for them  (remotecontrol.mtv.com)	(2103)
(Some Farker)		Bi-national Fark Party - Niagara Falls NY & Canada. Barrels, Clifton Hill Crawl optional. DIT LGN  (fallsviewcasino.ca)	(11)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 248: "Abstract Thoughts" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(213)

(Seattle Weakly)		Today's you-can't-make-this-up made for Fark story "Gay, Mentally Challenged Bi-Racial Male Cheerleader Claims Discrimination" (with bonus vid)  (blogs.seattleweekly.com)	(187)
(SooToday)		After getting Farked, SooToday finds out math is hard, adds readers note to original article: "...The resulting spike in ad revenue allows us to afford extra pickles on our Reggieburgers"  (sootoday.com)	(3)
		Studies reveal that kids who have problems with social skills more likely to be bullied, join Fark  (news.yahoo.com)	(150)
		NZ Police say it was legal for girl to auction off her virginity online, but warn her that anyone willing to pay $45,000 to fark her is going to expect her to do things that would make a Bangkok hooker blush  (abcnews.go.com)	(287)
		Today is February 3rd, so happy Bean-Throwing Festival to all you really, really odd Japanese Farkers (with video)  (boingboing.net)	(38)
		"She simply walked home without feeling the knife in her back." (with graphic ARE YOU FARKING KIDDING ME? pic)  (thesun.co.uk)	(163)

		News: Rahm apologizes for calling liberals "retarded." Fark: Apology was to the retards, not the liberals  (blogs.abcnews.com)	(231)
		Not News: Jessica Simpson goes to visit her sick grandma at hospital and tweets about meeting "cute doctors". FARK: one of them has to inform her that she spelled orgasm wrong in her tweets  (cnn.com)	(50)
		Sarah Palin wants Rahm Emanuel to be fired for shady, potentially illegal backroom deals. Nah, just kidding, it's because he described far-left activist groups as "farking retarded"  (news.yahoo.com)	(328)

(Columbus Dispatch)		Not News: Ohio State basketball team gets security called to its hotel room. News: It was the 1960 National Championship Team. Fark: It happened this weekend  (dispatch.com)	(17)
(Drew)		Super Bowl media mania, a question about international beers, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/24 - 1/30  (fark.com)	(48)
(Some Inhalant)		Not news: Kentucky man hits barrier and flips his truck on interstate. News: Because he was huffing canned air at the time. Fark: He did it because he saw it on an episode of "Intervention"  (wkyt.com)	(96)
		Queens teacher, 63, continuing to collect a $100k salary, is not allowed to teach in a classroom, and runs his law firm out of an empty room. UberFark: He also manages $8 million worth of personal real estate  (nypost.com)	(158)

(Some Guy)

Man tries to return Toyota to dealership because of gas pedal recall. If you're reading this on Fark you can guess what happens just before he gets there  (2theadvocate.com)

(176)

		Former Bush official says Hurricane Katrina was "the best thing that happened to the education system in New Orleans". Oh wait it was Obama's Education Secretary. Fark transformation from outrage to defense ensues  (michellemalkin.com)	(218)
		Obama meets with congressional Republicans; Fark political thread breaks out  (foxnews.com)	(365)
		Condition of missing lottery winner, formerly declared by Fark to be 'drunk on a beach in Jamaica,' downgraded to 'buried under some guy's driveway'  (cnn.com)	(42)
(Ynet)		Hot IDF chicks- breaking the silence of the systematic cruel violence, killing of innocent people and cover-ups in the Occupied territories. Farkers show up just to watch their butts jiggle when they write on the dry erase boards  (ynetnews.com)	(88)

		In honor of Farker bufu, please join us on February 13th to celebrate his life  (fark.com)	(92)
		Your woman not giving you the twenty bucks she owes you? That's a macheteing...macheting...oh fark it, she got chopped with a big ass knife  (kansascity.com)	(59)
		In a brilliant tactical move, President Obama agrees to listen to Republican ideas about the economy, health care, energy and other issues. FARK: But only if they spend the day in Baltimore  (myfoxdc.com)	(324)
		Nola Fark Party January 30th at Madigan's  (fark.com)	(98)
(bostonist.com)		"The popular 'Three Wolf Moon' t-shirt... became famous a few years ago when pranksters from Fark... posted hilarious Amazon reviews of the shirt and its purported powers." Behold the purported power of Fark  (bostonist.com)	(14)
(readwriteweb.com)		"When social sites... manage to rally the troops, the effect can be pretty substantial, like when Reddit, Digg and Fark managed to rickroll Shea Stadium. There are numerous examples, with some being funnier than others" (5th paragraph)  (readwriteweb.com)	(2)
		Not news: Kansas has an invasive species problem. Fark: It's alligators  (examiner.com)	(58)
		Hayden Panettiere is now a redhead, and has admitted to being drawn to older men. Just in case any Farkers find this relevant to their interests  (stuff.co.nz)	(192)
		London Fark Party in April (DIT)  (fark.com)	(56)

		Local child porn advocacy group in Miami is distributing flyers warning parents that Pete Townshend is a sex offender. Um, I'm pretty sure EVERYONE KNOWS WHO THE FARK PETE TOWNSHEND IS, JACKASSES  (contactmusic.com)	(107)
		News: Man attempts gas station robbery. Fark: With a fork  (wpxi.com)	(72)
		CNN has apparently been reading FARK's iPad thread  (cnn.com)	(134)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 247: "I Like it Anyways". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(251)

		Fark: Hoboken SWAT commander throws a diva hissy fit at TSA checkpoint in Tampa airport. TotalFark: He was suspended for letting Hooters girls play with his guns in 2007. UltraFark: He's on a 2-year PAID suspension  (nj.com)	(90)
		Stupid farking Cousin Oliver and twelve other bastard kids who were sent in to save a show, but ended up killing it instead  (ew.com)	(100)
(Some Guy)		New study shows self control is contagious. Unfortunately, you hang out on Fark  (scienceblogs.com)	(22)
		News: Quebec MDs volunteer to go to Haiti to help people in the disaster stricken country. Fark: They still want to get paid  (cbc.ca)	(92)
		Not news: You break up with your girlfriend. News: You're a D.C. Superior Court Magistrate and a lesbian. Fark: Your stalker ex is found unconscious in your attic with food and an ice bucket fashioned into a makeshift toilet  (washingtonpost.com)	(130)
		Anyone interested in a Maine Fark Party in February or March?  (fark.com)	(4)

		TotalFarker Bufu died over the weekend. Please raise a glass of the finest bourbon you can find. Better if you can do it from a hot tub or with your dog. LGT TF'er profile  (fark.com)	(697)
		Not news: politician's nephew is arrested. News: He was protesting dressed in KKK robes in front of the Australian Open. Fark: his uncle is the Prime Minister of Australia  (news.com.au)	(58)

(Some Guy)		This is a Fark headline for the submission  (faultline.org)	(½)
		Not News: Books contain explicit words. News: Parent gets common book banned. Fark: The book is the "dictionary"  (guardian.co.uk)	(277)
(Drew)		Haiti fatigue, Apple hyperbole and the Fark Betting Line for this week. Plus some of Fark's favorite headlines from 1/17 - 1/23  (fark.com)	(26)
(The Market Oracle)		"What if there is a growing mass of college graduates who 'don't read'? We can see this trend on sites like Fark.com." Thiz quot appeers undur tha "Funcshunal Illiturracee" seckshun uf tha articul  (marketoracle.co.uk)	(209)
		The San Jose Mercury News gives props to Fark for a headline about the Yankees donating money to Haiti  (mercurynews.com)	(0)
		"USA Today fully embraces social media and the opportunities it presents as evidenced by our... partnership with leading social media news sites like Fark." You hear that? WE'RE EMBRACED (third paragraph in the article)  (examiner.com)	(4)

		Fark: NASCAR driver Denny Hamlin tears ACL while competing. Not News: In basketball  (abcnews.go.com)	(33)
		Dear George Lucas: For the love of all that is Holy, would you please stop farking around with the original trilogy already?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(279)

		News: Authenticated photos of Apple Tablet Prototype revealed. Fark: From 1983  (gizmodo.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Vikings fans respond to the awe-inspiring Prince "fight" song (with nice fark.com attribution.)  (wwl.com)	(123)

		"Darwin's theory of evolution does not preclude the possibility of religious faith, except for atheists or fundamentalists." Or FARKers  (sfgate.com)	(401)
		How Fark is just like the Napoleonic Royal Navy: Hundreds of men and boys struggling to breathe rank air, subsisting on beef, pork, and gallons of beer  (dailymail.co.uk)	(98)
(Some Realist)		Teacher suspended 30 days because of Facebook photo that shows her at a bridal shower that had a male stripper. Fark: Someone else posted the photo. Moral: Teachers aren't allowed to have lives outside of school  (post-gazette.com)	(352)
		Farkers take note: If your female prison pen pal meets you at a motel room and wants to borrow your car to go on a beer run on her first day out of the pokey, she may be up to something. With mug shot goodness  (wtsp.com)	(116)
		New Orleans' Prytania Theater is booked to show Oscar-nominated director Jane Campion's "Bright Star" the same day as the Saints' NFC Championship Game against the Vikings. Solution? Fark Jane Campion  (nola.com)	(34)
(Some Arkansan)		Not news: Two rural schools in Arkansas vote to merge. Fark.com: The headline reads: "Weiner, Delight Agree to Long-distance Merger" Bonus: Suggest a mascot  (arkansasbusiness.com)	(59)

		Today's Fark-ready headline: Flashier great tits produce stronger sperm  (news.nationalgeographic.com)	(144)
(Some Princess)		New Zelda Wii game to be a sequel to Majoras Mask. For those new to Fark, that means it is okay to like it publicly  (zeldainformer.com)	(195)
(AFH)		Join Fark's Haiti relief effort by supporting Architecture for Humanity. Yes, this is a repeat from two days ago  (architectureforhumanity.org)	(90)
(Some Non-Hipster Musicians)		Vampire Weekend have the number one bestselling album in America, proving lots of people give a fark about an Oxford comma  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(48)
		Not news: Driver gets two tickets after police review speed camera. Fark: His car was parked (NSFWish sidebar image)  (telegraph.co.uk)	(81)
		American Idol introduces Chicago by showing video of contestants swearing at the producers. Fark: The contestants were from Orlando  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(39)
		I felt a great disturbance in the Fark, as if millions of headlines suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened  (startribune.com)	(149)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 246: "Sunrise...Sunset..." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(304)

		Tim Burton to remake Sleeping Beauty. This means more farked up swirls, a lack of sunlight, and probably Johnny Depp as a mirror or something  (inentertainment.co.uk)	(77)
		Today's Ready for Fark Headline: Man bites off cop's nipple during fight outside bar  (abc15.com)	(67)

		Not news: Racial bias alleged in Chicago suburb's hiring practice. News: all those hired were black, those passed over were white. Fark: No, those two about cover it, actually  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(260)
(AFH)		Join Fark's Haiti relief effort by supporting Architecture for Humanity  (architectureforhumanity.org)	(504)
(Some Guy)		If at first you don't succeed in robbing a store, try, try aga--what? You screwed up the second time too? Fark it  (wlwt.com)	(15)
		World record set for largest and longest inability to Fark  (abcnews.go.com)	(22)
(Drew)		Haiti's devastation means that the news media has less filler to produce. And that's a good thing. Plus Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/10 through 1/16  (fark.com)	(43)

(WLUK-TV)		Not news: Man cited for playing music too loud. Fark: He was listening to John Denver  (fox11online.com)	(37)
		Not news: Customer doesn't tip and complains pizza is cold. News: Guy then punches delivery guy, fracturing his skull. Fark: "My husband is in jail for no reason and that is not right"  (suntimes.com)	(374)

		Conan O'Brien's ratings have been through the roof since the NBC farkover  (starpulse.com)	(145)
		Scots found to drink the equivalent of 46 bottles of vodak per year, or 319 bottles less than your average Farker  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(53)

		Not News: Sex offender gets 5 years for probation violation. FARK: according to the comments and some of the rest of the internet, he posted some heartwarming YouTube videos, and should be free based on their merit  (wftv.com)	(204)
		Further proof that Japanese TV is farking weird, but still better than anything you'll see on a major primetime reality show in America  (liveleak.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)		"The story tumbled down Internet rabbit holes I didn't know existed, such as Fark.com. As the comments piled up, I became afraid to answer the phone, open the mailbox"  (www2.macleans.ca)	(529)
		The most pathetic internet argument techniques ever. It's not news, it's the Fark politics tab  (cracked.com)	(228)

(Some Guy)		Not News: residents complain of ailments cause by radiation from new cell tower. Fark: turns out the tower isn't even on  (mybroadband.co.za)	(66)
		Not News: Police called after three men rob a CVS drugstore. News: After fleeing police, all three men killed in wrong-way crash on interstate. Fark: the men were in their 50s and stealing Axe grooming products  (freep.com)	(83)
(Some Guy)		FINAL REMINDER: CT Fark Party, 7pm, Saturday, Jan. 16th, 2010, Southington, LGT location  (woodntap.com)	(8)

		FCC: Bad words are bad. Federal court: Fark your bullshiat  (cbc.ca)	(181)
		Disgruntled UFO researcher ridicules sheeple for wanting "solid proof" of UFOs. Bonus whine about Farkers' "fierce" reference to "tin foil hats, probes, etc."  (newsblaze.com)	(194)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 245: "Silent Decay". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(248)

		Mother goes to school board meeting to complain about boys pulling down her 13-year-old daughter's pants. Superintendent: Was she wearing a thong? Fark: Mom gets arrested for normal parent's reaction to the question  (myfoxny.com)	(367)
		Farker quoted for ripping into NBC: "The show 'was performing at acceptable levels for the network' but 'did not meet our affiliates' needs,' If that's not an admission of incompetence, I'm not sure what is"  (thrfeed.com)	(10)
		3 out of 4 people doing Federal Government work are actually private contractors, who are on facebook, twitter, and Fark for 6 out of the 8 hours of their workday  (huffingtonpost.com)	(123)

		Fed finalizes new rules to make it harder for people under 21 to rent cars, get hotel rooms, or sign up for TotalFark  (news.yahoo.com)	(75)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: Courtney Love Unveils Her New Hole  (starpulse.com)	(15)
		Raleigh Fark Party Canceled LGTPT  (fark.com)	(1)
		Notoriously loud, violent protest groups threaten to oust their party if health care bill passes. Fark: It's the unions, wanting the DNC out of business  (huffingtonpost.com)	(138)

		Scientists to spend three years building "wet computer". Drew to publish Fark server research documents  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(18)
		News: Man with hiccups spends two years scouring world for cure. Tries yoga, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, pickled plums, mustard, vinegar and water. Fark: Finally has tumor removed from brain stem  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(77)
		Not news: Bengals kicker misses two field goals in loss against Jets. News: Coach blames kicker for losing game. "It killed us." Fark: Even if he made both kicks, they would have lost by four  (content.usatoday.com)	(90)
		What do you call an avalanche on Mars? How about farkin' awesome  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(34)
(Drew)		New media trends this week, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/2 - 1/9  (fark.com)	(34)
(Hope Springs Eternal)		Newspapers still ahead in local news, says study reported on by an international news agency, published by a newspaper owned by the largest U.S. newspaper conglomerate, and submitted to whatever they're calling Fark these days  (news-leader.com)	(32)

(GET OUT OF THE WAY)		Weird: Columnist argues the National Enquirer should win the Pulitzer Prize. Fark: She kinda has a point  (politicsdaily.com)	(103)
		I have one simple request. And that is to have a goalie with a farkin' laser beam attached to his head  (sports.espn.go.com)	(30)
(Classically Liberal)		True story about how a half a cup of coffee saved a life a woman. Fark: From a right-wing politician. Ultra-fark: Milking it for all its worth  (freestudents.blogspot.com)	(55)
		Superbear terrorizing Tahoe region is twice the size of a normal bear, bulletproof, evades traps and enters houses at will. Yeah, you're pretty much farked  (sfgate.com)	(212)

		Not News: Somebody makes a racist comment about Obama. News: It's a Senator. Fark: It was Democrat Harry Reid who talked about Obama's skin tone and "lack of negro dialect."  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(750)
(bullsradio.org)		News: USF releases report on the alleged assault of a player by then head coach Jim Leavitt. Fark: The blacked-out list of player witnesses can be seen by copying and pasting into notepad  (bullsradio.org)	(36)
		Side-by-side comparison of Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno dealing with their awkward situation in monolgue form on the left. Farkers arguing over who's funnier on the right  (examiner.com)	(90)
(Some Weather Guy)		News: Frosty feline found frozen. Fark: Kitteh recovers in time for Caturday  (www1.whdh.com)	(lots)
		News: Michigan ranked 18th in final AP football poll. Fark: Central Michigan  (cbssports.com)	(49)

		George Michael rul-(♫ JITTERBUG ♫) Huh? Anyway, George Michael rules ou-(♫ JITTERBUG ♫) Stop it. George Mic-(♫ JITTERBUG ♫) I SAID, GEORGE MICHAEL RULES OUT A WHAM REUN-(♫ JITTERBUG ♫) Oh, fark it  (contactmusic.com)	(44)
(Drew)		Farkette Carrie Vaughn releases new book, getting the shaft from soon-to-be-former publisher  (fark.com)	(254)
(WKRC in Cincinnati)		Not News: Car crashes into home. News: Driver is reporter for local TV station. FARK: It's their traffic guy  (local12.com)	(69)
		TSG's Friday Photo Fun brings in the new year with two Fark favorites. Rock n Roll and bacon. Contest ends at 6pm Eastern  (thesmokinggun.com)	(88)
		CT Fark Party 1/16/10, 7pm, Wood-N-Tap in Southington  (fark.com)	(18)
		Mexico demands that Starbucks pay them for the use of ancient Aztec images. Starbucks considers serving only decaf in Mexico until the country chills the fark out  (money.canoe.ca)	(149)

		"Florida is so well-known for bizarre happenings that humorous news-aggregation site Fark.com even has a separate tag... for the state's news"  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(3)
(Rivals)		News: High school basketball team scores 100 points. Fark: In the first half  (highschool.rivals.com)	(41)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 244: "Animals" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(323)

		Vampire Weekend wants you to preview their upcoming release. Farkers will hate it for numerous reasons, mostly because it has nothing to do with Pink Floyd  (npr.org)	(63)
		New York Knicks reportedly ignored Magic Johnson's ticket request because he once criticized ex-coach Isiah Thomas. If true, Farkers will never be allowed to attend another Knicks game, ever  (nydailynews.com)	(31)
		Remember, Farkers: this Sunday is national "No Pants Day"  (examiner.com)	(317)
		"Is Zoe Saldana the new Kate Winslet?" Such a question can only be answered with a Fark thread full of their pictures  (mtv.com)	(93)
		The Seattle Times gets a good chuckle out of Fark's USC headline (second section from the bottom)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)

		Good: Test Bratislava airport security with explosive packs. Bad: Plant them on unsuspecting travellers ..Fark: Man held at Dublin airport on explosives charges  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(70)
		Star-Tribune writer gives Kudos to Fark  (blogs2.startribune.com)	(6)

		Not news: three Christian missionaries preach against the evils of homosexuality in Uganda. News: as a result, Uganda passes a bill condemning homosexuals to death. Fark: the missionaries consulted on the bill  (nytimes.com)	(372)
		"Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded." Good thing Fark only requires a one drink minimum  (news.sky.com)	(lots)
		Why the hell is everyone so butthurt at the idea of "Avatar" being nominated for best picture? Seriously, just shut the fark up and let it go  (io9.com)	(184)
		The New York Times condenses the last 10 years of Fark headlines into a single graphic  (nytimes.com)	(263)
(Some Guy)		Not news: Man dives from 35'5''. Fark: Into a kiddie pool  (fandome.com)	(26)
(Drew)		Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest  (fark.com)	(147)
(thenewstribune)		"Fark.com, a news aggregation site, sent 17,319 readers to our site, few of whom were local"  (thenewstribune.com)	(0)

		Warren Beatty has nailed 12,775 of the hottest women who have ever lived - which, coincidentally, is almost exactly how many kittens your average Farker has killed in his mom's basement  (nypost.com)	(58)
		The best news bloopers of 2009, in which news anchor and Fark folk hero Ernie Anastos takes a victory lap with his chicken  (examiner.com)	(17)

		Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper's suspension of Parliament has apparently upset at least a few people. Canadian Farkers click to the right, the rest of you move along and stop coveting our Tim Hortons  (upi.com)	(100)
		"The story gets a mention on Fark.com, generating more than 300 comments on our web site and thousands of readers' attention"  (irvingblog.dallasnews.com)	(6)
(Some Football Guy)		News: Pair of East Carolina football players suspended for upcoming Liberty Bowl. Fark: for fighting at the awards luncheon and nearly knocking over a table. UltraFark: over a dessert  (lastangryfan.com)	(18)
		Additional Farkworthy laws taking effect in California: It is now a misdemeanor to cut off a cow's tail or give laughing gas to a minor  (latimes.com)	(63)

(wsmv)		Stupid: man cooks meth in car. Stupider: at gas station. Stupiderest: In front of Gas Pump. Dumbass award: and passes out. Fark: Darwin takes a vacation  (wsmv.com)	(49)
		Lil' Bow Wow kicks off 2010 with a tri-fecta of danger; tweeting while driving, drunk driving, riding in a Lamborghini with Chris Brown. Fark; ALL AT ONCE  (gawker.com)	(59)
		Bad: You get arrested for making a fake 911 call and possession of heroin. Worse: You also get nailed for bank robbery. Fark: You're dubbed the "Big-Nosed Robber" and get your picture all over the internet  (courant.com)	(75)
(Some Guy)		Hey California Farkers, joining your office's Super Bowl pool may cost you $250 this year. No, that's not the entry fee, that's the government protecting you from the ills of gambling  (covers.com)	(41)
		Driver gets ticket from red light camera, sues city for theft. Fark: the lawsuit actually makes sense  (thenewspaper.com)	(295)
		Not news: Fitting into old jeans. News: Considering this accomplishment better than sex, along with 35% of British females. Farking Obvious: Poll conducted by marketers of Special K cereal  (telegraph.co.uk)	(101)
		London Times first published 225 years ago today; first issue had 3 columns of news, 10 of advertising, prompting Drew of Frankfforte to write "Farkke: How Ye Maedia Passeth Crappe off as Ye News."  (timesonline.co.uk)	(29)
		Tigers C Gerald Laird arrested after brawl, presumed innocent since there's no farking way he hit could have hit anything  (670thescore.stats.com)	(13)

(KCCI)		Today's Fark-ready headline: "Iowa woman fights deer with vacuum"  (kcci.com)	(58)
		Photoshop theme: 2010: The Year Fark.com Makes Contact  (images.google.com)	(60)
		Fark's 2009 Dumbass Roundup  (fark.com)	(55)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and wordplay  (fark.com)	(93)
		Just a little preview of the in-farking-sane fireworks in Iceland on New Year's Eve  (youtube.com)	(27)
(Some Snow Bunny)		Today's weather forecast: De-icing trucks spraying vodak on the streets to melt the snow, followed by scattered Farkers licking the pavement furiously  (weather.com)	(39)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 243: ClusterFark. Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(157)

		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Politics  (fark.com)	(126)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Business  (fark.com)	(64)
		Pop quiz mother farker, the bill is $19.97 and I give you a $20 bill. How much change do I get back? Seriously, I don't know  (redtape.msnbc.com)	(719)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Geek  (fark.com)	(99)
		When your car is sliding downhill on black ice, do you: a.) Stay off the brakes and try to turn into the skid. b.) Do nothing and trust in the protective embrace of the steel-safety cage. c.) BAIL THE FARK OUT  (boingboing.net)	(77)

		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Sports  (fark.com)	(122)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Showbiz  (fark.com)	(74)
		Good: Antibiotics in animal feed create healthier livestock. Bad: Also creates drug-resistent virulent germs. Fark: Dateline - Frankenstein, Missouri  (msnbc.msn.com)	(51)
		Inside the Boeing 787 Dreamliner: progressive LED, 65% larger windows, serrated engine nacelles, and motherfarkin' automated snake catcher  (edition.cnn.com)	(97)

		Fark's 2009 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest  (fark.com)	(270)
		News: Celtics take their league-leading road record into L.A., lose on buzzer beater. Fark: To the Clippers  (nba.com)	(34)

(Some Guy)		Not News: Student punished for sneaking out of school. News: Student's punishment is standing outside in the cold. Fark: Principal goes drinking and leaves student to die  (chinadaily.com.cn)	(149)
		Five years ago today, the Earth suffered a massive cosmic onslaught that farked satellites and partially ionized its atmosphere... from an object 50,000 light years away  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(67)
		Raleigh Fark Party - Updated  (fark.com)	(7)
		Not News: Best Buy offers free software with purchase. Fark: Software is already free  (consumerist.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		"Despite being completely false, the "dogs are worse than SUVs" meme has legs. It turned up recently in the Vancouver Sun, and then spread to internet meme factory Fark.com -- with a lively discussion in the comment section"  (daily.sightline.org)	(8)

		News: Governor resigns due to sex tape. Fark: With three women. UltraFark: He's 86  (bostonherald.com)	(129)
(Citizen-Times.com)		Not News: Cat goes missing. News: Cat is found. Fark: 12 years later. Welcome to the Christmas miracle edition of Caturday  (citizen-times.com)	(935)

		Starting in 2010, web aÐÐresses will have retarded characters and symbols that farkers will be able to use to spruce up their hædlines to look ¢øøl  (newscientist.com)	(100)
		The Pogues & Kirsty McColl - Fairytale Of New York; Merry Christmas Farkers  (youtube.com)	(28)
		Merry Christmas, Fark  (ibabuzz.com)	(380)

		Bad: you lose your job. Worse: without notice. Worst: because the company went out of business. Fark: the week before Christmas. You've Got To Be Kidding: you're a truck driver, and they don't even get you a bus ticket home  (csmonitor.com)	(97)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 4: October through December  (fark.com)	(82)
		Reminder: Canton, Ohio Fark Party at Fiddlestix Billiards Dec 26th  (fark.com)	(3)
		You can try, but this guy is immune to your Fark drummer jokes  (youtube.com)	(63)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 242: "Farktography Classic: Seasons Greetings 3." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(140)

(PhillyBurbs)		Man visits neighbor twice asking for beer and later breaks into the neighbor's house to steal more beer, proving that Farkers can be pretty persistent when the need arises  (phillyburbs.com)	(38)
		Orlando Fark Party tonight, Wednesday December 23 at 7pm. LGT pevious thread, DIT  (fark.com)	(1)
		Angelina Jolie says she doesn't mind cheating on Brad, so there you go Farkers, you're in  (3news.co.nz)	(332)

		News: Man stabbed in chest by knife, Fark: Man goes into a diner and orders coffee with the knife in his chest  (msnbc.msn.com)	(62)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: July through September  (fark.com)	(98)
(Some Hit Girl)		"I'm just farking with you, daddy" ... red-band trailer for Kick-Ass (Not safe for work video)  (heyuguys.co.uk)	(93)

		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 2: April through June  (fark.com)	(93)
(Some Guy)		Today's Fark-ready headline - Defiant pig farmer tells state to "bring their army"  (clarecountyreview.com)	(68)
		The Story of the Christmas Krampus: Farker's tribute to Santa's demonic enforcer, muppets  (youtube.com)	(22)
		Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 1: January through March  (fark.com)	(148)
		Fark unveils the top 11 weirdest stories of 2009  (fark.com)	(46)

News: Bill O'Reilly says nice things about Michelle Obama Not News: Laura Ingraham has a problem with this Fark: Bill O'Reilly calls Ingraham a Kool-Aid drinker  (huffingtonpost.com)

(124)

Not news: man jumps from plane. News: parachute doesn't open and he survives the landing. Fark: he plans to jump again  (guardian.co.uk)

(89)

		IPhone users to AT&T: 'You're farked'  (abcnews.go.com)	(95)
(Some Guy)		Worst. Bank Robber. Ever. "We still think someone should post SeattleCrime's report on Fark or a similar Web site to see how entertaining national readers find the robber's choice of attire"  (seattlepostglobe.org)	(4)
		The coolest video of a singing house you've seen all day. Prepare to giggle. Bonus: Farker-made  (youtube.com)	(32)
		Twitter hacked by Iranians as retaliation for #iranelection. Fark at Defcon 1 or 5 whichever's higher  (washingtonpost.com)	(74)
(Some Mexican Joint)		Orlando Fark Party, Wedenday, December 23 at 7pm. LGT venue  (orlando.citysearch.com)	(7)
		What does a solar eclipse look like on Saturn? Titanically farkin' awesome  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(44)
		"Here's $50 million. Go fark something up"  (salon.com)	(93)
(Some Guy)		Fark credited with helping to make Mr. Splashypants the whale "internet famous"  (inventorspot.com)	(0)
(Some Angry Jesus)		Say "HO" again. Say "HO" again, I dare you, I DOUBLE-dare you, motherfarker. Say "HO" one more gotdamn time  (kcoy.com)	(164)
		Truck hauling 4000 cases of beer ran off the road in Papua, New Guinea. Since this is Fark, you know what happened next  (abc.net.au)	(63)
		Australian hottie swimmer Stephanie Rice wants a new boyfriend for Christmas. Any Farkers wanna help her out? (with pic)  (themercury.com.au)	(318)

		Fark Party at Rong Tan's in Withamsville Ohio Saturday Dec. 19th, 8:00pm  (cincinnatiusa.com)	(0)
		Raleigh Fark Party. January 16th 7 pm  (fark.com)	(12)
		If you happen to be right in front of a very specific seismic monitor in California, you may know a couple of seconds ahead of time before the big one hits. The rest of you are farked  (latimes.com)	(18)
(Times Gazette)		Shelbyville Times Gazette points out they've popped up on Fark, for good or ill  (t-g.com)	(1)
		Man's best friend becomes Farks' No. 1 party animal  (nbcsandiego.com)	(66)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 241: "White". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(198)

(Ric Romero)		Since the challenge went out to FARK.com last Thursday, there have been 582 online donations made for $13,659.20 to the Spark of Love toy drive  (abclocal.go.com)	(15)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: "Plot thickens over Russian pantyhose probe"  (thelocal.se)	(35)
(Some Guy)		"Vancouver obviously has a touch of an identity problem. But why is that news? It's not. It's Fark."  (vanvoice.com)	(0)
(Some Farker)		Reminder: Joint Mentally Incontinent, Fark book signing and Fark Party- downtown Indianapolis tonight  (downtowncomics.com)	(101)

		Chinese cop who "died in the line of duty" declared a revolutionary hero. Fark: For drinking himself to death during official dinner  (news.sky.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Farker releases 2009 version of the controllable Christmas lights. Sadly, the web design is still stuck in 1991  (komar.org)	(132)
		Armond White's Avatar review reaches a level of trolling Farkers could only dream about  (nypress.com)	(166)
		Not news: Man hit by train, killed. Fark: Train was a dinner theater murder mystery train full of shocked old people. With pic  (wtsp.com)	(102)
		Not News: Thief breaks into house. News: Police arrest thief. Fark: As he was taking a bath, in victims bathroom  (hosted.ap.org)	(62)
(WHIO)		Not news Cop goes to party. News: with underage girls drinking. FARK: In uniform, immortalized on this 'my space' thingie that girls like to post pictures on. BONUS : Pictures of the cop 'busting' the underage girls at the party  (whiotv.com)	(238)
(Some IChuckPens)		To Drew, Farkers and TotalFarkers, a Thank You from IChuckPens and family  (ichuckpens.info)	(117)
		It's your college football playoff (that will never happen in a million farking years because it would make too much sense) simulator. Difficulty: Try to get West Virginia to win the National Championship  (espn.go.com)	(99)

		Fark "Up in the Air" and "Avatar" - "The Hurt Locker" is emerging as a solid contender for Best Picture 2009  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(99)
(Ernest Shackleton)		Farker takes Drew's book to Antarctica - Penguin'larity ensues  (komar.org)	(28)
		Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and the recession's farked him over, too  (sfgate.com)	(30)
(The Frisky)		Not news: Women are embarrased by baldness. News: In their babies. Fark: So now we have baby wigs  (thefrisky.com)	(147)
		Judge rules cyberbullies still have First Amendment rights. "If all cruel teasing led to suicide, the human race would be extinct." And Fark would be nonexistent  (boston.com)	(531)
		Good: You receive BIE. Bad: They're your own/ Fark: Thanks to the Dell tech logged into your machine  (theregister.co.uk)	(lots)

		Dominee, the Farker laid up in a coma because of pneumonia is finally awake, and yes - the first thing he asked for was a beer. LGT original thread  (fark.com)	(145)
		Zoe Saldana says she's attracted to clumsy, goofy, imperfect men. Holy hell, farkers, you may have a chance  (contactmusic.com)	(76)
		News: President Obama wishes everyone a happy Hanukkah. Fark: Immediately, the Birthers claim he was born in Israel. Total Fark: This is not from the Onion  (huffingtonpost.com)	(134)
		Meh: Lady GaGa, before she was Lady GaGa, and her band cover Led Zeppelin's "D'Yer Ma'ker." Fark: And it doesn't suck that much  (youtube.com)	(86)

(chattahbox.com)		"There is a lively discussion on [Peter] Watts' case on the site Fark.com." In related news, Fark has lively discussions. (shoutout appears in the 5th paragraph from the bottom)  (chattahbox.com)	(13)
		Man robbed while on MySpace date. If Farkers did this, they would have left atheist dissertations, pictures of captioned kitties, and a very snarky message on the bathroom mirror  (freep.com)	(59)
		REMINDER- Greensboro Fark Party tonight LGT previous thread  (fark.com)	(40)
		"Drew Curtis of Fark.com says it will be a special Danica Patrick's signature fragrance being unveiled in February will be a hit." Huh?  (canada.com)	(3)
		What is best in life? To break into Dad's museum and steal $20M worth of paintings. Fark: with a backhoe  (salon.com)	(82)

		Denver farkers, don't forget tomorrow night at the Wynkoop, 7:30 p.m  (fark.com)	(2)
		Happy Hanukkah to you Jewish farkers out there. Lets all light the menorah  (nytimes.com)	(154)
(ABC7)		Ric Romero thanks FARK.com for toy drive donations  (abclocal.go.com)	(298)
(Some Guy)		Today: China offers $1,465 for each link to porn. Tomorrow before breakfast: Pretty much the entire world economy is in the hand of Farkers  (tomsguide.com)	(136)
		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter enjoyed Fark's Danica Patrick fragrance headline  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(1)
(Some Edmonton Farker Guy)		Edmonton Fark Party. Final Reminder DIT. LGT Map  (maps.google.ca)	(85)
		Wasting time on Fark? We Got That B-ROLL  (boingboing.net)	(19)
		Giant rabbit that thinks it's a cocker spaniel would like you to shut the fark up you farking farker (pics)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(86)
(Employee of the month)		Knowing the average Farker, I'd say about half of you will try this at work  (thechive.com)	(113)
		Shout out to our Hawaiian Farkers enjoying the big surf this week. Here's The Ventures Live: Wipe Out  (youtube.com)	(19)

(KING-5)		Slow news day in Seattle upgraded from "It's farking cold outside" to "Bovine trapped in frozen creek"  (king5.com)	(183)
(Some Guy)		Ric Romero calls out Farkers, dares them to help him with a Christmas toy drive  (facebook.com)	(433)
(Some Guy)		Rep. Grayson, never at a loss for words, tells Dick Cheney to STFU. Race is on to figure out Grayson's Fark.com handle  (wdbo.com)	(191)
		If you get a TV remote control stuck in your ass after what is described as "a drunken prank", rest assured you will make Fark.com. X-rays? Bonus  (mirror.co.uk)	(292)
		Orlando Fark Party, December 23  (fark.com)	(12)
(Some Guy)		Fark's official weapon has been found  (hero-gear.com)	(184)
		Obama demands Republicans stop scaring people, saying that's Democrats' job. Besides, he has charts showing everything is improving. As every Farker knows, charts bring stupid arguments to a screeching halt  (thehill.com)	(105)
		Good, but obvious news: Bruce Wayne is coming back to life. Gooder, and less obvious: As Batman the motherfarking pirate  (iheartchaos.com)	(90)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 240: "Low Key." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(132)

		Miley Cyrus to remake "Every Rose Has It's Thorn." Fark needs a Barf tag  (people.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)		Not News: Someone parked illegally. News: Fire Truck needs the spot. Fark: Violator is a Parking Enforcement vehicle  (citypaper.net)	(87)
		Today's Fark-ready headline: Boise boy licks pole, gets stuck  (azcentral.com)	(69)
(Some Government Technology)		"Other competitors included the irreverent Web community at Fark.com..."  (govtech.com)	(4)
		Paul Volcker stuns the financial community by saying they are worthless sacks of crap who have contributed fark-all to society and the world economy. Where's his Nobel Prize?  (telegraph.co.uk)	(90)
		Not news: the US is at war. News: the strategic objective is to create civil wars within Islamic countries. Fark: it makes sense  (stratfor.com)	(112)

(Some Guy)		A roundup of Christmas gifts for your favorite drunk, if he can tear himself away from running Fark over the holidays  (gizmodo.com.au)	(23)
		Russians royally farked by overwhelming amount of horse. This is not a repeat from the 1700s  (npr.org)	(202)
		What do Farkers have in common with fruit flies? Same taste in females, for starters  (news.discovery.com)	(51)
		Edmonton Fark Party Reminder. DIT  (fark.com)	(15)
		Cool: Device can identify objects via camera. Fark: To be called Google Goggles  (pcmag.com)	(37)
		Autism seen as asset, not liability, in some jobs and getting greenlit submissions on Fark  (msnbc.msn.com)	(245)
		Not News: Lawsuit in Canada over music piracy. News: the infringement is valued at 60 billion. Fark: The infringers are Sony, Warner, EMI, and Universal music  (boingboing.net)	(139)
		Community website Fark used a small group of coordinators to collect info and deploy spotters who could check up on suspected balloon locations  (popsci.com)	(6)

(Some Farkette)		Any Canton, Ohio Farkers want a Fark party?  (fiddlestixbilliards.com)	(28)
(Drew)		As the year draws to a close, Drew wants to know: what thread or story on Fark made you laugh the most this year? Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/29 - 12/5  (fark.com)	(114)
		SignOn San Diego has a laugh at Fark's cheap shot Mangino retirement headline  (signonsandiego.com)	(0)
		Classic pictures of people drinking. This is what Fark parties looked like before the Interweb  (todayspictures.slate.com)	(102)
		Bethelehem Fark Party Follow-Up  (fark.com)	(3)
		If you don't want to walk home in the cold, you could take a bus, or a cab, or even hitchhike. But for Fark's sake, don't carjack an off-duty cop. We guarantee you'll be sorry  (cbs2chicago.com)	(38)
(Some Guy)		The Kamloops News shows some love for the headline on Fark's Tiger Woods story last week. Well, one of the 87 Tiger Woods stories last week  (kamloopsnews.ca)	(0)

		Not News: NBA player ties his shoes. News: During play, while holding the ball. Fark: Defense does nothing (w/ video goodness)  (nba.fanhouse.com)	(68)
(Some Guy)		Not news: Jumpstarting an engine, "You steer, I'll push." Fark: Off the top of a parking deck, 150 feet to the ground, and the 17-year-old girl behind the wheel survives. What's Malaysian for "Ta-da?"  (thestar.com.my)	(44)
		Turns out MIT is slightly better than FARK at finding giant red balloons  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(120)
		Fark dreams do come true: PETA are teh turrurusts  (huffingtonpost.com)	(126)
		Not news: Getting fined for public intoxication. Fark: While quietly waiting for your designated ride  (torontosun.com)	(168)
		"Note: I hate to say this, but if you have delicate sensibilities, then maybe Fark isn't the best place for you. I, however, still have some atavistic humor left over from being a 15-year-old-boy some time ago, so I love Fark."  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(10)
		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter weighs in on Fark's Mangino resignation headline  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)

(DARPA)		MIT team wins DARPA balloon challenge. Thanks for all of your effort, Farkers. We put up a good fight  (networkchallenge.darpa.mil)	(245)
		If you notice an eight-foot red weather balloon today while you're driving around, please let Fark know (Last reminder for anyone who missed the previous threads)  (fark.com)	(555)
		Today's Fark ready headline "Busy street, beaver don't mix"  (pe.com)	(47)
(kenosha news)		Dumb: Guy travels two hours to the #1 drinking town in the U.S., gets plastered, and gets beat up/robbed. Dumber: He refuses to go to the hospital. Fark: He's suing because, well, it must be a hate crime  (kenoshanews.com)	(137)
(Free Documentaries)		Documentaries you can watch for free. Because I know you farkers can't get enough Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock  (freedocumentaries.org)	(84)
		Not news: Freestyle motocross racer does a backflip. Fark: On a Harley-Davidson  (youtube.com)	(28)

		16 years ago today, Frank Zappa embarked on his final tour. Here he is playing the Fark out of Black Napkins in '76. Miss you, Frank  (youtube.com)	(61)
		Scientist: [Why global warming is real and hack makes no diff.] Commenters: [ZOMG NWO CRU WHARGARBL] Scientist: [Shut the fark up and let scientists do their science.]  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(173)
(DARPA)		Reminder: DARPA Network Challenge starts tomorrow at 10AM ET. Join TeamFark to win $40,000 for Toys for Tots  (networkchallenge.darpa.mil)	(140)
		Fark gets mention for parting shot at Mark Mangino (near bottom of article)  (blogs.usatoday.com)	(4)
		Not News: Web site for lost laptop News: They charge you to give it back Fark: They stick all your personal files up to help you confirm its yours  (theinquirer.net)	(15)
		Edmonton Fark Party  (fark.com)	(11)
		Not news: Online retailer learns the hard way why they shouldn't use a tag cloud on their customer forums. Fark: It's Newegg  (consumerist.com)	(170)
		Lloyds TSB tells the British government to "go fark yourselves" and pays their employees massive bonuses. Considering the British government owns the bank, this might be a problem  (business.timesonline.co.uk)	(14)
		Data: "A pound of relish and an anchovy would kick ass." Picard: "Walk me to Halifax." Data: "Watch me eat 450 farkin' hard boiled eggs"  (youtube.com)	(117)
(Some Guy)		Not News: commodity dealer trades 28,000 tons of coal. News: a glitch means he orders 28,000 tons of coal. Fark: they deliver  (thedailywtf.com)	(169)

		Scientists discover that women show their attraction by opening their legs. Still no cure for cancer, farkers, and your mom  (telegraph.co.uk)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Farrah Fawcett is speaking to best friend Alana Stewart from beyond the grave. She says "It's beautiful here, I love you, and what kind of sick fark is Ryan O'Neal hitting on his daughter at my funeral?"  (dailyexpress.co.uk)	(20)
		Boortz picks Fark's "Iran Releases Seamen" as the headline of the day  (boortz.com)	(4)
(News-Gazette)		Power of Fark combines with power of attorney to touch children. Wait  (news-gazette.com)	(170)
		Remember to get your Bowie and your big hair out of storage for this Saturday's DC Labyrinth Fark Party. We are not liable for blindness caused by staring at Bowie's... pants  (fark.com)	(110)
		Not news: Drunk lady arrested after driving to police station. Fark: She's a cop, showing up for work. Bonus: Keeping booze in her locker in case the buzz wears off  (metro.co.uk)	(51)
(DARPA)		Join TeamFark in the DARPA Network Challenge and help us win big bucks for Toys For Tots. DIT  (networkchallenge.darpa.mil)	(397)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 239: Win, Fail, or "I Like Where This Thread is Going." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(125)

		Bug spray may cause penis defects, says Professor Alan Boobis of Imperial College London's department of Fark Headline Setups  (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(36)
(Some Guy)		Inmate hijacks prison van, handcuffs officers, escapes with one of their uniforms and four guns. Fark: While in a wheelchair  (officer.com)	(42)
		The San Diego Union-Tribune gives props to Fark for the headline about the start of baseball free agency (3rd section from the bottom)  (signonsandiego.com)	(0)
(The Day)		Father issues bad check, gets arrested. Son goes to pick him up, is arrested for driving with a suspended license. Fark: Bad check was for son's court fines and fees from prior arrest  (theday.com)	(72)
		Fark: Lord Lawson's anti-AGW institute gets graph wrong. Farkier: Their graph based on questioned CRU data. Farkiest: Climate scientist calls for an investigation. We have tit for tat, but all you'll remember is the tit  (telegraph.co.uk)	(167)

		Stephen Fry on the damn joys of swearing. Bonus: That goram, farking House guy. Motherfrakers. Not safe for work shiatty British language  (youtube.com)	(37)
		Not news: Debt collector sues the wrong person. Not news: The debt doesn't even exist. Fark: The judge is pissed, orders collector to pay missed wages to defendant under penalty of sanctions  (consumerist.com)	(350)
		Annual Fark demographics survey. Results will be posted next week. Help us figure out who that one guy coming from the .va domain is  (fark.com)	(1521)
		Yet again proving that priorities can be totally out of order, among the gems found in Vincent Van Gogh's correspondence is advice to a friend: "Don't fark too hard."  (guardian.co.uk)	(21)
		Like many a Farker, new Sam Adams Utopia beer is already banned in 13 states  (google.com)	(222)

		Word finally gets around to Kentucky.com about Fark's deal with USA Today. Be here next year when Ric Romero weighs in on the issue  (kentucky.com)	(7)
(Gentlemen's Club)		FARK's Drew Curtis Tells A Podcast What He Can't Talk About On Radio  (gentlemensclubpodcast.com)	(1)
(Some Guy)		Scientists gain new insights into the experience of anger, its role in our everyday lives and the fact that I WON'T farkING GET OVER THE REDESIGN, DREW. EVER    (eurekalert.org)	(52)
(Mankato Free Press)		Ready-for-Fark headline: "Drive-by gooseing in North Mankato park"  (mankato-freepress.com)	(86)
(Drew)		Welcome to the best month for recycling. No, not white elephant gifts, but crap that passes for news. Also, Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/22 - 11/28  (fark.com)	(50)
(Some Guy)		Not News: People steal video-game account information. News: It's a crime. Fark: The police arrest someone for it  (sophos.com)	(38)
		The Seattle Times gives a big round of applause to Fark for its Clue-themed headline about the Tiger Woods incident (2nd section of the article)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
		A buzzing fly is more likely to wake up a grown man than a baby, say scientists from the I'm So Farking High Institute  (telegraph.co.uk)	(34)
		Edmonton Fark Party Planning Thread  (fark.com)	(1)

		Warner Bros. announces that all Superman movies have been put on hold. Which means Bryan Singer can't fark things up anymore  (io9.com)	(121)
		Dave Grohl: "Fark Twitter. That's the biggest waste of time. If people got their head out of their ass, they might farking get out and accomplish something." Um... that's more than 140 characters, Dave  (contactmusic.com)	(46)
(Some Guy)		Richmond Times-Dispatch enjoyed Fark's Yankees free-agency headline. (last heading)  (www2.timesdispatch.com)	(1)
(Some Guy)		The Argus Leader gets a kick out of Fark's Iverson retirement/not-retirement headline (last item)  (argusleader.com)	(2)
(news-register)		Fark's favorite Warriors fan has been clean and sober for eight weeks, and ran a 5K on Thanksgiving. With interview that will change everything you ever thought about Patrick Tribett  (news-register.net)	(288)

		"Josh McDaniels, are you going to apologize for your profane language that was accidentally aired on NFL network Thursday night?" "No, and fark you for asking me"  (sports.yahoo.com)	(62)
		Not news: two teams battle for bragging rights in a "You Got Served" style showdown; FARK: two barbershop quartets in a cafeteria  (youtube.com)	(48)

		Not news: Man falls for exotic beauty while on vacation. News: She confesses she's a dude on their first date. Fark: He marries her anyway. TotalFark: You'd hit it. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk)	(416)
		PITTSBURGH Fark Party reminder Tomorrow at 7:00 PM  (fark.com)	(6)
(Some Guy)		Supreme Court agrees that Wal-Mart has the right to close a store permanently if employees form a union, leaving Farkers who hate both Wal-Mart and unions equally unsure of who to get snippy with  (financialpost.com)	(206)
		Seattle Times Sideline Chatter has a laugh at Fark's New York Yankee's free agent headline  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)
		Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a farking big television. Ewan McGregor has chosen to prevent a "Trainspotting" sequel from going into production  (3news.co.nz)	(56)
(Brisbane Times)		World markets would like to thank Dubai for royally farking everything up  (brisbanetimes.com.au)	(55)
		The Seattle Times applauds Fark for a headline that pokes fun at the New York Yankees (2nd section from the bottom)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(0)

		Obama's latest misstep: misspellings on the White House State Dinner wine list. What the fark is this guy's problem?  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(200)
		Not News: Wishing someone a happy Eid al-Adha. News: In a Best Buy ad. Fark: After you stopped wishing people Merry Christmas in those same ads in favor of Happy Holidays  (myfoxdc.com)	(238)
(Andrew Sullivan)		A moving Thanksgiving Day tribute to America expressed with a clarity that perhaps only a conservative, gay, Catholic, pugnacious and irrepressible expatriate Brit could attain. Happy Thanksgiving Fark  (mcgillreport.org)	(96)
		News: Man gets stuck in underground crevice known as the "Birth Canal" for nearly 24 hours before rescuers free him. Fark: They accidently drop him back in and he's stuck again  (sltrib.com)	(99)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 238: "Hello Old Friend. It's Nice to Meet You.". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net)	(123)

		An online editor observes the power of Fark: "Fark and Drudge are national sites and they attract people looking for a particular type of entertainment. It's like fishing - you go where the fish are" (4th paragraph from the end)  (tcpalm.com)	(13)
		It's the Fark Annual Thanksgiving Eve Draw A Hand Turkey For Mom Contest. Past losers include Jerry Garcia and James Doohan. LGT last year's results. VE. Gobble Gobble  (fark.com)	(58)
		News: Ottawa Senators starting goalie Pascal Leclaire out for a month after breaking his cheekbone. Fark: He was injured while sitting on the bench  (usatoday.com)	(25)

(Washington Monthly)		CNN can keep the RNC's new Communications Director as an "analyst" because the RNC isn't paying him. Fark: the RNC isn't paying him because he's that deep in the insurance lobby's pocket  (washingtonmonthly.com)	(27)
		This car will run at 1,000 MPH, generate twice as many Fark headlines with a Dumbass tag  (gizmodo.com)	(34)
(mediaite)		Drew Curtis on possible partnerships between Fark and other media outlets: "I can't go into any great detail because if it turns out some of these ideas suck as much or worse than a travel tab, we'll shiatcan 'em"  (mediaite.com)	(225)
		Reminder: Don't eat yourself to death over Thanksgiving. You have to come back next weekend and join us at the DC Fark Party: Labyrinth Edition. LGT previous thread  (fark.com)	(1)
		Yo dawg, we herd you liked Fark, so we put some Twitter in your Fark so you can Facebook while you Gtalk. New profile preferences available  (fark.com)	(168)
(Some Sick Farker)		Farker Dominee has been in hospital fighting for his life against pneumonia for several days now, and is still in a coma. Details to the left, moral support to the right  (farkistan.org)	(269)
		Gannett boardroom: "What we need now is a new partner who will inspire panic in the stockholder. A puppet. A proxy. A pawn. Sure, sure. Some jerk we can really push around. Hey what about that fark guy?"  (mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com)	(35)
		Several pictures of a squirrel with enormous balls. It's what Fark was made for  (dailymail.co.uk)	(120)

		Women with a spare tire are more likely to go all whargarbl as they age. As if heart disease, diabetes, and Farkers saying "She sounds fat" weren't bad enough  (physorg.com)	(116)
(herald-review.com)		"I came across this at Fark.com, a great clearinghouse for entertaining and dopey and laughable news. For those of you unfamiliar with Fark, the site is designed for the smart-aleck in all of us."  (herald-review.com)	(23)
		News: CPSC announces they'll be announcing a crib recall tomorrow. Fark: They're not going to say which cribs yet. Have fun putting your infants to bed tonight  (money.cnn.com)	(80)
		Groundbreaking study from the "Fark It We're Not Even Trying Anymore" Institute for Sports reveals that refs hold a home team bias  (sports.espn.go.com)	(19)
(Drew)		How the Resale Subculture drives Black Friday, why Cyber Monday is a hoax, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/15 to 11/21  (fark.com)	(99)
		Not news: Transit police officer forces passenger's head into a reinforced glass window. News: Window shatters and cuts the passenger and the officer up. FARK: Passenger is charged with assault for cutting the officer  (cnn.com)	(397)
		Kings of Leon bassist dates Twilight actress in attempt to create the trolliest Fark headline ever  (3news.co.nz)	(54)
(Church Brew Works)		Reminder: Pittsburgh Fark Party next Saturday, 11/28 at 7:00pm  (churchbrew.com)	(2)

		Not news: woman wants twins. News: woman already has thirteen kids. Fark: names include Peppermint, Echo, Rogue, Frodo, Morpheus, Blackbird and Voorhees. The Sun is there, and there, and there, and there  (thesun.co.uk)	(239)
		Dumb: DMX signed for MMA fight. Obvious: He drops out, gets sued. Fark: He's replaced in the match by Coolio  (starpulse.com)	(43)
(Marietta Daily Journal)		Georgia's Supreme Court made it legal for 16-year-olds to fark their teachers last year, but wouldn't you know it, some party-poopers are trying to change that. Why won't they think of the children?  (mdjonline.com)	(60)
		Edmonton Fark Party Planning Thread  (fark.com)	(16)
(Some Prince of Darkness)		Not news: Your dad thinks you're crazy. Fark: Your dad is Ozzy, and even he thinks you're crazy  (breakingnews.iol.ie)	(40)