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85 headlines found matching 'FEMA'
Sat September 24, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Croydon Advertiser)
 
 
 
Newspapers across Britain are creating hysteria about super fleas with giant penises invading people's homes. Sorry to disappoint any horny female fleas
source: croydonadvertiser.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
ABC will reboot Cagney and Lacey, but neither lead will be called Cagney or Lacey because they don't want to pay royalties or for the rights, but it will just be a "female drama just like that show"
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 23, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Baby giraffe gets to second base with CBS 8 San Diego female reporter
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Visiting a primate sanctuary? Tourist tip: Never let a male and female monkey sit on your head
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 22, 2016
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Lawyer arrested after forcing two female inmates to have sex while in jail. Police grew suspicious when conference room lights were off, lit by candlelight instead
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Male widow spiders avoid cannibalistic females by hanging with immature virgins. Don't try this at home, guys
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 15, 2016
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Arizona's first female (and last decent) governor, Rose Mofford, dies at 94
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 14, 2016
(Google)
 
 
 
What's the female equivalent of whiskey d*ck?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Bill Clinton to campaign for Hillary while she's recovering from pneumonia, hopes to nail down the elusive 18-24 female demographic
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 13, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Photographer sets up camera to automatically take photographs of the elusive and rarely seen female orgasm out in the wild
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 12, 2016
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Prince recorded an album as his female alter-ego Camille but never released it. Now, it's up for auction
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 09, 2016
(The Local)
 
 
 
Bishop of Mallorca fired from post by Vatican due to "improper relationship". Clearly, as a relationship with an adult female is pretty much as improper as it can get for a Catholic clergyman
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yeah, it's a repeat, but it's one worth reading again: The story of Lt. Heather "Lucky" Penney, one of the Air Force's first female fighter pilots who took off on 9/11 with one mission: to fly her fighter jet into the fourth airliner heading for DC
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Awesome photo gallery of female farmers in Scotland proves there's nothing hotter than a woman who can repair a tractor
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 08, 2016
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Remember that time The Donald filmed a music video with an all-female glam girl metal band and then things got all Trumpy? Cool times
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 07, 2016
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
So, what you're saying is, Egypt needs female genital mutilation because Egypt is full of limp-dicked men who can't please horny women?
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 04, 2016
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Proving once again the superiority of America's disaster readiness network, FEMA issues accidental evacuation notices for millions
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"What if the first female U.S. president resembled a fashion model instead of 70-year-old woman?", asks fashion designer
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 03, 2016
(Variety)
 
 
 
NBC Developing a 'Sexy, Contemporary' Female-Led Adaptation of 'Oliver Twist'
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 02, 2016
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Future generations will point to the NAFTA superhighway connecting FEMA concentration camps and say it all started with a bike path
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 31, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
In a preview of 2018's top news, Senate ousts the country's first female president after her impeachment
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Phallus-shaped mushroom can instantly trigger an intense female orgasm
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 30, 2016
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Male termites pair up when females are scarce. "It's clear that male-male pairing is a strategy for survival"
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Women in New York stage "Go Topless Day" celebration to prove that there is nothing dirty about the female body. Result: Every perv in a 30 mile radius shows up to take pictures. With Not safe for work pictures...mostly of clothed male pervs
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 29, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton's longtime female companion renounces Weiner
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 26, 2016
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Apprentice Baba Yaga and female Skeletor clone Ann Coulter discovers Rush Limbaugh schadenfreude
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
FEMA tells Governor Scott algae is not an emergency request
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you're a female realtor in Houston and some guy calls inquiring about a house for sale and then starts asking you what kind of shoes you have on and to take off your shoes to improve cell reception, just hang up on him
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 25, 2016
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Nude all-female production of Shakespeare's The Tempest sparks outrage in New York over plans for it to be held in Brooklyn's Prospect Park. To bare or not to bare that is the question (Not safe for work)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for performing oral sex on woman laying on beach boardwalk at 1 PM. Told cops he was an "emergency responder and had to assist the female as it was his duty"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 23, 2016
(Politico)
 
 
 
Convicted NY conman spent his last months before heading to prison in April "catfishing" the leaders of the #NeverTrump movement, posing as a female British lawyer to try to suss out their plans. This year? That barely makes the top 10 for weird news
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 21, 2016
(YouTube)
 
 
 
How to make a mediocre swing band sound 100% better? Add a cowbell? No, silly. Just add the best female jazz bagpipe player in the world
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 20, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
FEMA to bring in "New and Improved" FEMA Trailers to Louisiana. Now with 75% less Formaldehyde and Lead
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 19, 2016
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Zoo shocked to discover that female Komodo dragon who died a month ago had hidden a nest of eggs, only realizes when two babies hatch and crawl into the exhibit
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 18, 2016
(San Francisco Examiner)
 
 
 
A teacher named Butts has an "inappropriate relationship" with a female student. And people say Fark isn't their personal erotica site
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 17, 2016
(BBC)
 
 
 
Egyptian state TV to female presenters: "No fat chicks"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
Last female OB/GYN in bombed-out, rebel-held Aleppo explains why she keeps working. Besieged, threatened each day by government forces, she says: "I love my job"
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 16, 2016
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Trump, in yet another pander to the female voter, hires a powerful media influencer
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 14, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Study from the Romero Institute finds female cats are more attuned to kittens than males
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 11, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fox News puts the focus on Rio's female athletes back where it belongs - on their makeup, and how they ought to be wearing it
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The all-female Ocean's Eight remake casts the star of Battleship
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
"Slayings in Mass., NYC reinforce fears of female runners." Are female runners that dangerous?
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 10, 2016
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Upcoming 'Star Trek' TV series will have a female lead, likely diverse, and will almost certainly beat up men twice her size
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 08, 2016
(Arabian Business)
 
 
 
Qatar to restrict alcohol at their World Cup. Will soon announce their policy to restrict female fans as well
source: arabianbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 04, 2016
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Male athletes linger on peaceful or even loving touches after a game, while female athletes are more distant post-match. "What's so incredible to me is social scientists think of women as the more communal, interconnected, caring, emotional sex"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 02, 2016
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Hillary isn't America's first female presidential nominee, a prostitute beat her to it 144 years ago
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 30, 2016
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Corrections officials in Louisville, KY arrest a woman. Woman has no pants on when arrested. The woman has no pants on when she finally appears in court 3 days later. The female judge is not amused, apologizes to the woman, and then goes headhunting
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 28, 2016
(National Post)
 
 
 
Police investigating after 11 female mannequins stolen from boutiques in small Ontario town: "It's creepy"
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 27, 2016
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Let's see what it would be like if the media covered male political spouses the same way it covers female spouses
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Hillary might win this November, but we'll still be #96 in female representation in our government
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 26, 2016
(NYPost)
 
 
 
App helps you determine if a bar is a sausage fest or a... um, what is the female version of that?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 24, 2016
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Rio Olympics athletes' village downgraded from "FEMA trailer" to "uninhabitable"
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Legendary punk promoter Ron Watts dies at 74: "I was on the door when a young girl came running up and told me that Sid was backstage, threatening Stinky Toys' female singer, Elle, with a knife. I had to go and disarm him"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 20, 2016
(The Register)
 
 
 
Microbe found in Kenya causes females to cannibalize their male siblings
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 18, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The truck driving Nice killer used dating sites for male and female relationships, and had a 73 year old "principal" lover. Then there were the drugs and the alcohol. Not much of an Islam follower
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 16, 2016
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Mattel introduces "President Barbie" who comes along with another female doll as Vice President. It also includes their own presidential limousine, Secret Service agents and instructions for hiding their private e-mail server
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
First case of female-to-male sexual transmission of Zika reported. Is it time to start panicking yet?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Dallas gunman accused of stealing female soldier's panties before honourable discharge"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 15, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Surprising absolutely nobody who wasn't a few grapes short of a bunch, Darryl Strawberry played hide the banana with female fans he picked out of the crowd in between innings in the Big Apple. ...Eggplant emoji
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 06, 2016
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You get hit by a car while crossing the street, so do you: A) Throw your watch at another car, B) Assault the driver, C) Perform a sex act in the direction of the female passenger while calling out obscene phrases, or D) All of the above
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 05, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Dear Dr Petra: I'm having mind-blowing sex with a female coworker, and we're addicted to each other. Now I can't enjoy sex with my wife any more, and she's getting concerned. What should I do?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 02, 2016
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canada's first female PM says American voters should love Clinton a lot more than they do: "The things people hate about Hillary are kind of small potatoes compared to other people who have run for public office"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 30, 2016
(The Influence)
 
 
 
How Victorian doctors tried to cure the mysterious female affliction "pathology of over-stimulated genitals"
source: theinfluence.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 29, 2016
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Female praying mantises have a habit of killing and eating their partners during sex, but a new study shows this sacrifice actually gives the males a distinct reproductive advantage
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 27, 2016
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Centers for Disease Control says risk of female genital mutilation is on the rise for women in the US, and as for the reason this is happening they cite hey, would you look at the time, gotta run
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Our first proof of time travel, Rome elects first female mayor in MMM years, and Columbus gets a swirly from Akron: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/19 - 6/25
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 26, 2016
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Yacht Club concerned that allowing female members would ruin its 'family atmosphere'
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 24, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Do you think footwear endorsed by a female athlete like Ronda Rousey would sell well?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 23, 2016
(Austin Chronicle)
 
 
 
Here's what 11 years of female roller derby in Texas looks like
source: austinchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CIO)
 
 
 
All of the proposed "women in the workplace" emojis were rejected by The Unicode Consortium so you won't see a policewoman or a female construction worker. But at least we've got bacon
source: cio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 22, 2016
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I'm a bisexual woman in my 30s, and a female coworker started latching on to me; she'd come over, we'd hang out, flirt, and start to fool around. She withdrew, but then came back, only to withdraw again. Did I do something wrong?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 20, 2016
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Rome elects first female mayor in MMM years
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Meet the elderly female NRA lobbyist who made sure that Florida's gun laws allowed Omar Mateen to buy an AR-15 and execute 49 people
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 17, 2016
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Emaciated mirror universe female Skeletor Ann Coulter calls Donald Trump "our only hope." But for what?
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 16, 2016
(ABC News)
 
 
 
For some reason, the Santa Clara DA has removed Judge Aaron Persky from upcoming hearing in which a male nurse sexually assaulted an anesthetized female patient
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 15, 2016
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Creating diversity, Washington NFL team hires NFL's 1st female head physician. She's not a Native-American, though
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 09, 2016
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
The original Ghostbusters cast praises the all female reboot saying that they "were screaming, cheering like at a sporting event." With a bonus "get out of your Mom's basement you sad little whiny man child" comment from McCarthy
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's female supporters speak out. No word what all six of them have in common
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 08, 2016
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Boy, 7, splashes pool water near female guest at Florida resort. So woman grabs her bottle of vodka and pours it "directly into the eyes and face" of youngster
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I was born male but eventually identified as female, embracing my realization and becoming transgendered. I've been working on socially transitioning; my family insists on calling me my male birth name and nicknames. What do I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 05, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dear Work Advice Columnist: I'm a man who's surrounded by female co-workers flaunting their cleavage at me, but everybody freaks out if I unbutton more than the top button of my shirt. Am I being oppressed?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 01, 2016
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
The youngest self-made female billionaire ever, Elizabeth Holmes, had a net worth of $4.5 billion according to Forbes, let's check in on her and see how she is doOH MY
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 31, 2016
(Boomstick Comics)
 
 
 
The 1980's female wrestling show 'Glow' is making a stone cold stunning return to Netflix
source: boomstickcomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 30, 2016
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Emilia Clarke wants to be the first female 007
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Even "Fox New Sunday" host Chris Wallace is forced to call BS when Trump's campaign manager claims the polls show Trump ahead with female and Hispanic voters, since Trump is actually losing those demographics by 14 and 39 points respectively
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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