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281 headlines found matching 'EMP'
Sun December 10, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
I'd hate to alarm you, but we're all just one temper tantrum away from nuclear Armageddon
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 09, 2017
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
New Jersey attempt at world's largest snowball fight cancelled. Wait, because of what? You gotta be farkin' kiddin' me
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When you're unemployed and walk out of court with a $50 fine and no points, how do you respond? "You there fatboy? On a donut break?" and 50 other messages to the arresting cop is one option
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 08, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pope Francis calls for Lord's Prayer to be altered as current wording suggests God is capable of leading people "into temptation." Wait, you mean he can't?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 07, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Emperor Hirohito's wartime diary bought by Holocaust denier
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Franken accuser Stephanie Kemplin complains Senator "does not own up to his behavior". What part of 'resigning' do you not understand?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Bankrupt Toys Я Us execs to employees:"$16 million bonus Я Us, nothing Я you"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Gay waiter fired for letting the internet know that bigoted assholes frequent his former employer
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump administration asks Israel to temper any official excitement because the administration doesn't know the full impact of their Jerusalem decision. This is usually something you work out before making a decision, but here we are
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 06, 2017
(Victoria Times Colonist)
 
 
 
A woman who thought she was terminally attempts suicide and fails. She finds out while recovering in the hospital that she wasn't terminally ill. Sometimes fate can be kind
source: timescolonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Abstinence Only" sex-ed programs are a proven failure and actually hurt kids, even if, and stay with me here, you change their name to "evidence-based sexual-avoidance Youth Empowerment Programs"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The subpoenas sent to Deutsche Bank aren't just a kill shot for Trump and his empire, but they also threaten to take down the Mercers too. When all this is over, we need to give Mueller his own national holiday
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Can your employer require you to come to work naked? Hopefully not if you're a Fark admin
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
All these worlds are yours -- except Europa. Attempt no landing there
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 05, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pop Tarts attempts to have guy arrested for putting mustard on his pop tarts. Well, I don't like poupon my pop tart either, so I get where they're coming from
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
In an effort to improve child safety on the platform and to be better at detecting hate speech, Google will enlist 10,000 employees to moderate YouTube videos. Enlist, not hire. Enjoy your additional ditty duties
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
FEMA to employees: Sooo, that hurricane season, kinda brutal huh? Yeah, so about that overtime you earned dealing with those disasters? We're just gonna take that back 'cause we're out of money, oh and you have to work the rest of the year for free
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Apple cuts a deal on its unpaid Irish tax bill, agreeing to empty its change jar *and* throw in a dozen phones as a sign of genuine remorse
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 04, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
An Alt-right troll running a failing business, and facing a lawsuit for, selling "Pepe the Frog Over the Wall Hot Sauce" to his buddies on 4chan is really unemployed and living off his wife's salary as she's a Senior VP at Pfizer - for now
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Grassley attempts to clarify statement about lazy, stupid poors. Still feels not need to clarify why women are not people but are consumer goods in a class with booze and movies
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The administration of Donald "The fightin' populist" Trump is now coming for the wages of waitresses, by undoing an Obama-era rule that forbids employers from pooling tips and using them to supplement the wages of back-of -the-house employees
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Yankees shocked and saddened when Shohei Ohtani reveals he's not in a New York state of mind and will not consider signing with them. "It actually feels like they lost the rights to someone who was never even in their employ"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gronk attempts to apologize for his vicious intentional helm- GRONK SMASH
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 03, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
House Republicans ready contempt of Congress action ... against the FBI and DOJ
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
You could spend the day sitting in a boring Christian church. Or you could spend it worshiping in a vibrant sanctuary like the Church of the SubGenius, the Church of Euthanasia, or the Temple of the True Inner Light
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 01, 2017
(Roll Call)
 
 
 
Rep. Farenthold (R-really creepy pajamas) settles sexual harassment case against him by a former employee
source: rollcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
If you're having trouble thinking of a tasteless yet timely Christmas gift to give your employees, the Kushners are here to help
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 30, 2017
(CNBC)
 
 
 
So that deficit trigger? It violates their own rules and therefore can't be used. Corker last seen contemplating having a spine
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Goodwill employee sorts through a donation box, finds ugly sweater, bell bottom jeans, hand grenade, ugly coffee mug..... wait, what?
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two "famous" streamers gather all their fans in order to take down a vile bar via fake reviews over them being attacked by the staff. So of course when the bar uploaded the security videos they were both drunk and trying to sucker punch employees
source: technewsbase.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 29, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
CNN airs clip comparing Trump's empty chair stunt to actions he took on The Apprentice
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bosnian Croat Commander: *taps temple* You can't sentence me for war crimes when I'm already dead *drinks poison*
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
In an attempt to increase student participation at games, university adopts "Candy May", a female mannequin to draw more students to games. No word on if they will also get their failing men's football or basketball teams to actually win more games
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Empty chairs Trump meme goes viral
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Note to self: Do not do 'butt selfies' at temples in Thailand
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Australian electrician sacked for using potato chip bag as Faraday cage to skip work for two years without employer noticing
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 28, 2017
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Attempted mass shooter suffers a severe case of Acute Failure of the Victim Selection Process
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 27, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Microsoft vet jumps to Google, criticizes ex-employer for letting corporate infighting rage on as Microsoft developers, developers, developers left for platforms that would endure. Core .NET UWP Azure Silverlight coding wizard begs to differ
source: windowslatest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Facebook to expand AI and pattern-recognition algorithms to identify and auto-interrogate users who are contemplating suicide. Initial questions to include: "Are you OK?" "Can I help?" "Would you like to take a short quiz?"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Top snooker star rips home of Northern Ireland Open as garbage, frames it as Shawshank Redemption of tournament venues
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida couple's attempt at driving their SUV along the bottom of a canal named Alligator Alley ends predictably
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 26, 2017
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Arkansas county employee sentenced after stealing $366,000 for personal use, including buying a tuxedo for her dog. Apparently when you have $366,000 in your wallet, you can't just keep taking your dog out for casual dining
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Either this was the worst ever attempt at insurance fraud or this lady really hated her new SUV
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Trump delivers on his promise to open up new jobs for unemployed coal miners
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 25, 2017
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Atheist choir sings songs of meaninglessness to the empty void of nothingness
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 24, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The tempting mistress that is the cycle of big tax cuts, big spending increases and no fiscal restraint is set to doom the Republican Party once more
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 23, 2017
(BNO News)
 
 
 
Active shooter reported near Hempstead, Texas. Happy Thanksgiving
source: bnonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science News Magazine)
 
 
 
Ten historical and scientific turkey facts for your holiday contemplation
source: sciencenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
New high temperature microprocessors could mean a return to the surface of Venus for scientific instruments
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Warnings for LA beaches: Low tides, high temperatures and also watch out for the thousands of stingrays hidden in the sand. CRIKEY
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Mother attempts to ban story about woman who falls in love with man who kisses her because she never consented. Facepalm: "Sleeping Beauty" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 21, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - A stunt that Evel Knievel never would've attempted
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The Seattle Seahawks may now have the award for worst fake field goal attempt ever
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 19, 2017
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man attempts to steal two trains. With fairly accurate mugshot
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 18, 2017
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Trump ponders a space-based missile defense system for the US, much like Reagan's Star Wars attempt. However, given it's Trump it'll be more like Galactica 1980 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 17, 2017
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Danica Patrick to retire from full-time racing in attempt to preserve her unblemished record of no wins [Editor's note: aside from the ones she won]
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Disney employees banned from pointing with their index finger. Middle finger still okay
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
The Huckinator is here to crush your pathetic attempts to bring honor and truth to the world. Do not resist her whispering eye. This is YOUR WH Press Briefing, stupid mortals. (LGT C-SPAN @ roughly 1500)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"Then he starting telling Michael Jackson pedophilia jokes, and then bopped two employees on the head with his book, making derisive comments about their comparative intelligence according to the sound their heads made when struck"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
George Takei's media empire is collapsing faster than Enterprise's ratings
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 16, 2017
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The NHL's worst team is accused of spying on employees along with threatening them and underpaying them as well
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump demands the law be changed to end massive tax breaks for the NFL even though they voluntarily gave up their tax exempt status years ago
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Toys 'R' Us employee: I need a holiday bonus. Company: I'm sorry, we can't afford that, due to our pending bankruptcy negotiations and lackluster sales. Executive: I need a holiday bonus. Company: Of course, here is $16 million
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 15, 2017
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Randy buck mounts, attempts to bonk two deer-shaped ornaments on family's lawn. Doesn't score but hilarity ensues
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Scientists attempting to permanently alter a person's DNA. Results will be A) cure disease, B) cancer, C) superpowers, D) rampaging mutant monster destroying the city
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Pro-Trump forces attempt to discredit one of Moore's accusers by pointing to her multiple bankruptcies and history of lying. Yeah, those charges could really damage someone's reputation beyond repair
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 14, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
And now for your viewing pleasure here's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom's sacrifice scene done with LEGO Ewoks
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
BREAKING: Here comes Sessions' last ditch attempt to keep himself from going down with the Trumptanic: Jeffie is demanding that a second Special Counsel be formed to investigate the Clinton Foundation
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 13, 2017
(Salon)
 
 
 
In an attempt to discredit Washington Post's Roy Moore story, Breitbart actually ends up confirming it
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Hidden deep in the GOP tax bill is the "NEW GIG Act" that makes it super easy to classify an employee as an independent contractor
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 12, 2017
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Roger Goodell: Based on my exemplary performance, I demand a $50M salary and a private jet for life. Otherwise I walk
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Saturday's launch was scrubbed by some yahoo flying into restricted airspace, but hopefully people actually read the NOTAM for Sunday's attempt. This is Orbital ATK mission OA-8, resupply to the ISS. Coverage begins 7 am Eastern
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 11, 2017
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Highest paid federal employee gets a raise. No not him
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Father passes out in his car parked at a Taco Bell parking lot. Employees noticed the car but did nothing; apparently, they missed the 3 and 7 year-old children in the backseat trying to wake up their drunk father multiple times
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Overly dramatic disinherited grandson has "physically and verbally aggressed" three staff members in an attempt to see ailing grandfather. In other news, Gandalf has a side job
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 10, 2017
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
We can build a better employee, now we have to do the same with our cars
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Evil empire interviews Wedge for manager position. Porkins considered for bench coach
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Theresa May says she will not tolerate any attempt to stop her from crashing the British economy
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 09, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The University of Florida asked alumni Tim Tebow to speak out against Richard Spencer's attempts to speak there. Guess which side Tim was on
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Trump 2016: I'mma build a wall and keep those Carrier air conditioning jobs out of Mexico and in the US. Carrier Employee 2017: He blew smoke up our asses. Trump 2017: What's air conditioning
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 08, 2017
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Insurance companies picking up birth control costs for religious employers
source: vitals.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Russia Probe moves onto the 2016 GOP platform, specifically Trump's attempts to remove language regarding Ukraine and weapons
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 07, 2017
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
State trooper attempts to drain a corner of the swamp
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Jefe drops case against laughing woman, Trumpy met with the emperor of Japan, and Mueller's still digging. THIS is your MSNBC evening block livethread. Festivities start at 8pm EST
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Harvey Weinstein employed a veritable army of retired intelligence agents and private military contractors to make sure no trumped up allegations of misconduct were made by his alleged victims
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 06, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump's attempts to sabotage Obamacare lead to record-breaking enrollment
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The entire semiconductor manufacturing industry is estimated to be worth about $300 billion worldwide. So Broadcom's $105 billion hostile takeover attempt of Qualcomm is a pretty big farking deal
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paste Magazine)
 
 
 
Jon Bon Jovi's attempts to buy the Buffalo Bills were brought down in a blaze of glory by none other than Donald Trump
source: pastemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 05, 2017
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Nevada Highway Patrol to close Route 160 this weekend due to: A) road construction. B) median repair. C) world speed record attempt by a Koenigsegg
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 04, 2017
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
So-called "Right Wing Culture Warriors" are attempting to prove "anti-white racism" is a thing by saying it's okay to be white
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 03, 2017
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Venezuela's president, already mocked for gaining weight amid a hunger crisis, pulls out an empanada from his desk during a live TV address
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
During her time as Fed Chair, the stock market has boomed, the economy has grown inflation and unemployment have hit new lows, and Trump has been effusive in his praise of her. So why is Trump replacing Janet Yellen? Because Obama appointed her, duh
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
The Department of Defense is not planning a nation-wide EMP pulse on November 4, according to spokesman. Good, I wouldn't want that to interfere with getting murdered by Antifa death squads
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Ivanka Trump says workplace harassment can never be tolerated while speaking to an empty room in China. No word on if those same rules apply to her sexual predator father
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
President Trump has the eating habits (and temperament, and intellect, and social graces, and hands) of a young child. So what will he eat in Japan?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Ivanka requires an army of bootlickers and servants to function, such as mobilizing 21 government employees and 150 emails to choreograph a 45 minute discussion on STEM for school children. Your tax dollars at work
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 02, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Union bosses tell DNAInfo and Gothamist employees that threats to shut down the sites if they unionize are just "textbook union-busting tactics." DNAInfo and Gothamist employees then vote to join union. Guess what happens next
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
Police arrest smoke shop employee for possession of spice. Remedy this situation, restore spice production, or you will live out your life in a pain amplifier
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ex-CIA officer says Mueller also needs to investigate US intelligence officials' attempts to damage Trump, as if Trump needed help to damage himself
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
California family found safe in the jungle after being kidnapped by Brazilian pirates. Global temperatures seen plummeting
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 01, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
GOP braces for "all hell" to "break loose" when they reveal their attempt to rewire the entire U.S. economy tomorrow
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman attacks a man with her breasts because he harassed her, charged with attempted mamslaughter (possibly not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Employer demanding health insurer not cover drug that can benefit half its employees because Jesus
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Jupiter has an aurora like Earth, but does not require solar wind to form and is a self-contained process. ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS, EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 31, 2017
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Potential landmark case regarding reclassification of GrubHub "contractor" as employee will come down to whether the plaintiff or the defendant is more full of shiat
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"The president seems likely to use his position as head of the executive branch to exempt himself from law enforcement, and use pardons to protect himself and his associates from any investigation into criminal wrongdoing." Happy Halloween everyone
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 30, 2017
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Despite best attempts, Mark Ingram fails to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
Taking inspiration from "The Man in the High Castle", Murdoch Media Empire spins fascinating Sci-Fi tale of a parallel universe where Special Counsel Robert Mueller was never born and thus the Mueller Investigation doesn't exist
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
#EmptyNeyland
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
12-year-old's suicide attempt turns into a homicide
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Let's see which politicians' attempts to bribe Amazon have been most pathetic...and here's Chris Christie with $7 billion in corporate welfare and a picked-over tray of cannoli
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 28, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Company fires employee for "working too hard"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three carjackers armed with crowbar are no match for one bad-tempered woman who has run out of farks to give
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
With Halloween almost upon us, please remember to stock up on bandages before attempting this with your favorite feline on Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 27, 2017
(Slate)
 
 
 
Tesla employees don't believe the reasons given by the company for the recent mass firings
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Wow, Thanksgiving at the Kushners is gonna be SUPER awkward this year, even IF they leave his father-in-law in the car: Jared's brother, founder of a healthcare company writes an Op-ed defending Obamacare and attacking Trump's attempts to kill it
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The CVS-Aetna deal is less about providing insurance and more about attempting to fix drug prices, using every sense of the word "fix"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Starbucks releases Zombie Frappuccino to disgust customers, annoy employees
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 26, 2017
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia uses monthly faxes to communicate with Best Korea, right after they finish telexing the Ottoman Empire and pigeon posting the Upper Volta
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump kowtows to the emperor of China
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
RCMP accused of not telling employees there was lead at a firing range, hydrogen in snow
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Woman who married herself gives in to temptation and cheats on herself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
What would you do if your employer announced all your jobs were being outsourced to Mexico and you had to train your non-union Mexican equivalent?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 25, 2017
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Union sues over requirement that health care workers get flu shots, saying it should be up to employees if they're contagious around patients or not
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
The sentient bowtie controlling the empty husk of Tucker Carlson calls Lisa Bloom a "feminist Al Sharpton." Was that an insult or a compliment?
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 24, 2017
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
We have a Senator who Flaked out, Kid Rock decided to give up his ambitions of being a terrible politician, and the WH presser today was especially contemptible. It's your Tuesday MSNBC discussion thread; starts at 8PM EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
World Series Game 1. Will Keuchel bounce back from his last start? Can Kershaw keep the butterflies at bay? Why in the hell are people talking about the temperature when these guys play all summer long? Game starts at 8:00 PM EST. PLAY BALL
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Unemployment falling--in some states. Guess which ones
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you run a magazine and decide to host a women's empowerment panel, maybe you should put some women on the panel
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WalletHub)
 
 
 
What college provides the best bang for the buck? New 2018 rankings emphasize value against cost
source: wallethub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 23, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
A salute to Bidlo Kwerve, the man who was instrumental in helping the Jedi to triumph of the evil Galactic Empire...at least parts of him were
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Drug sniffing dog finds two pounds of meth inside Pound Puppy. Meanwhile, Teddy Ruxpin's drug empire remains out of reach
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun October 22, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
God attempts to smite OK Governor Mary Fallin but gets distracted by the Beach Boys
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
4'X4' mosaic from one of Emperor Caligula's "pleasure ships" repatriated to Italy after authorities discover it serving as a coffee table top in NYC woman's apartment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 21, 2017
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
With unemployment at near record lows, it turns out that employers may have to actually offer more money and better working conditions in order to fill vacancies. What a concept
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to break into a store and empty the cash register, don't leave your wallet with your photo ID behind
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 20, 2017
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
University bookstore employee stole over $20,000 worth of books. Officials did not turn up either textbook when searching his residence
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Only 3 of Richard Spencer's supporters were arrested for attempted homicide at the rally yesterday
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Megyn Kelly is literally attempting to dance for better ratings
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 19, 2017
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Completely legitimate ghost activity caught on several security cameras of city, right in the middle of shot, which perfectly ties in with anecdotal testimonies from staff and regulars. No fishing wire or desperate attempts at free publicity here
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ex-coach #2 Pitino attempts Sgt. Schultz impression
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 18, 2017
(WWE)
 
 
 
CAN SAnitY end the Undisputed ERA? WILL Ember Moon or Ruby Rose advance to NXT TakeOver? WHO will leave the Temple as Lucha Underground Champion? This special edition of "Wrasslin' Wednesday" begins @ 8pm ET on El Rey, WWE Network
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Bank of America punished Chipotle for paying their employees a living wage
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 16, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
A recap of last night's season finale of Fear the Walking Dead, in which the show's new threat is introduced and Junkie Depp attempts to be a force to be reckoned with but, y'know, the drugs [WARNING: SPOILERS]
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Oklahoma State, Oklahoma and Miami move into the top 10 while Memphis, LSU and West Virginia move back into the top 25. It's your week 8 AP College Top 25 poll
source: collegefootball.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
EMP attack could kill 90% of all Americans in a year. However, it would also defeat the robot rebellion, allow Sarah Connor to keep her job
source: wnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Steve Mnuchin says parts of the income tax overhaul will be temporary. Like the part that assumes most Americans will still actually have an income
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 14, 2017
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
In attempt to find hard-to-adopt dog breeds homes, pet shelters to stop listing dogs by breed and will instead use Harry Potter-themed sorting system. Your dog wants Snape
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Tesla discharges hundreds of employees in shocking move
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother who attempted to slowly murder her child by refusing to vaccinate him is outraged he received safe vaccines while she was in jail for her depraved crimes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 11, 2017
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
While we were agonizing over Las Vegas last week, there was an attempted airport bombing in North Carolina
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
U.S. Supreme Court rolls their eyes and says "REALLY?" as coal magnate Don Blankenship attempts to appeal his ONE YEAR SENTENCE for conspiring to violate federal mine safety regulations in connection with a mine disaster that claimed 29 miners' lives
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loughborough Echo)
 
 
 
Today in Too Offensive to Sell: coffee mugs featuring the Knights Templar
source: loughboroughecho.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 10, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Toddler in Chief's temper tantrums are coming at an accelerating pace. A normal toddler would eventually tire himself out and take a nap, but this one just keeps on tweeting
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man attempts canal jump in his Toyota Corolla instead of driving two blocks out of his way. Roscoe P Coltrane seen in close pursuit
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Non-white Britons twice as likely to be unemployed, see the violence inherent in the system
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pumpkin Spice Yambag calls for using tax exempt status to punish the NFL. Which they gave up in 2015
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 09, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Farking stupid Trump is out of his mind for wanting to get rid of the Iran nuke deal because Iran attempted to buy nuclear technology illegally 32 times. Wait, what?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun October 08, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Does anybody else still smoke? My workplace is very anti-smoking and half the employees, including my boss sneak smokes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
In an attempt to have repeat customers, a rehab CEO allegedly tried to sell heroin and fentanyl to the addicts the facility was designed to heal
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 07, 2017
(CNN)
 
 
 
Parents, teachers, and employers be forewarned: Marijuana is going mainstream
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
In Missouri, the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled on The Temple's appeal in their case to claim religious exemption from the state's informed consent and mandatory waiting period abortion restrictions. Fark: The Satanic Temple
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 06, 2017
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Goldman Sachs plans to brexit 1,000 employees to Frankfurt
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
As Catalonia attempts independence from Spain, banks decide on independence from Catalonia
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 05, 2017
(Anand Tech)
 
 
 
Seagate shipping 12TB helium-filled hard drives, with emphasis on consumer market, almost large enough for subby's pr0n collection
source: anandtech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 04, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Federal judge who found Sheriff Joe Arpaio guilty of contempt of court: "On second thought, he's not guilty"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
"I talk to the president sometimes," Jabba the Hate says in an attempt to rationalize his vast conspiracy theories over Vegas
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue October 03, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Still mourning Las Vegas, CBS employee fired for cheering on murder of Trump supporters, President Trump supports Puerto Rico in person, and no one will post in this thread. It's your FOXNews viewapalooza (Tucker/Sean/Dana -Starts at 8PM EDT)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
If you're a CEO on Undercover Boss and promise on-air to pay for an employee's wedding, you better not get cold feet
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Shake Shack employees seem to actually be good at their jobs. However, a little on the cold side
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon October 02, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
After saying she didn't have sympathy for the Las Vegas shooting victims because country music fans are Trump supporters, CBS exec retires to spend more time with her utter lack of employability
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Don't worry, Equifax is being extra careful with the payroll records of Fortune 500 and Government employees. Promise. Pinky swear. Super careful
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Geraldo Rivera visits Puerto Rico and meets San Juan's mayor, telling her "I don't see anyone dying" in an attempt to help Trump save face. Stay classy, Geraldo
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 30, 2017
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In today's edition of 'Foreign Secretaries Say the Darndest Thing': Boris Johnson recites a colonial-era Kipling poem about Myanmar in a Buddhist temple
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
SEC: Cryptocurrencies are securities. Investors: So about these initial-coin-offerings that are merely thinly-disguised attempts to circumvent the IPO process because there's no actual business in there. SEC: Yeah, about them
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 28, 2017
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump artwork that went for less than a $100, 20 years ago, is again up for auction and is now expected to sell for $10,000. Basically a doodle that he spent about ten minutes creating. Theoretically it's the Empire State Building
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
While everyone was watching the latest attempt to "repeal and replace" Obamacare go down in flames, the Senate quietly passed a bi-partisan bill that expands an Obamacare program that improves care for seniors and makes Medicare cost less
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
When the NCAA is done handing out death sentences to all the basketball powerhouses, which schools will emerge to fill the temporary void? I'm hoping for a UNC Charlotte v. UC Davis title game. Duke sucks
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
EPA Administrator Scott 'I'm terrified of my own employees' Pruitt joins the administration's private jet club
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
IBM now has more employees in India than the US
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Drunk driver's attempt to get food from a closed McDonald's ends in McFlurry-free jail cell and merciless mocking by the police
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 27, 2017
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Minnesota in 2016: Employers can no longer ask applicants if they have a felony. Minnesota in 2017: How could a felon slip through the cracks to get this job???
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Contractors temporarily stop building prototype walls along the Mexican border because a construction worker fell down a 40 foot shaft
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Gentleman, you can't fight in here. This is the Empathy Tent
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 25, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Steve Bannon allegedly attempted to plant mole among Facebook staff, Mr. Toad on board of directors
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
And you thought Goldman Sachs employees just helped out political lefties of the world. Here, meet one of their former economists who just led Germany's far right party to victory
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Okay we shouldn't have trusted an employee who claims to be the unfiltered voice of violent neo-Nazism when he said his group would be non-controversial, now please don't boycott our restaurant
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Ohio congressman apparently has Vault-Tec employees living in his district
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Church that beats the gay out also keeps slaves and helps members commit unemployment fraud, as long as they kickback, excuse me tithe
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly's "The Spin Stops Here" tour with Dennis Miller is playing to thousands of empty seats on its run
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Governor of Puerto Rico calls on Pentagon for increased hurricane relief in an attempt doomed to failure due to a lack of NFL teams on the island who could draw attention by kneeling
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
North Korean foreign minister says Emperor Hirocheeto's recent comments amount to a declaration of war
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 24, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
While you are contemplating selling your 100 shares of GE, Mark Zuckerberg starts cashing out of Facebook. Today's total? 75 million shares worth $12.8 billion
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The scariest part of the most recent polling is that one out of three Americans consider a preemptive nuclear strike against North Korea a good idea. Is it too late to emigrate somewhere safer...like Mars?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Small, blighted town assembles a group of volunteers to clean up the city. Municipal union employees: "Not so fast"
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 23, 2017
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Jim Bakker says if you're too cheap to buy his food buckets, you will have to answer to God on an empty stomach once the rapture hits
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 22, 2017
(PBS)
 
 
 
Russians attempted to hack into the voting machines of 21 states. "Most" were unsuccessful. Aaaaand my stomach just dropped
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Concerned about the possibility of an EMP knocking out World of Warcraft servers and his pet rabbit's private jet, GOP Rep. Duncan Hunter advocates for a first strike on North Korea
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
More rich people problems: Attempting to beat your Hamptons riding horse before it's dead during a competition
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 21, 2017
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Are federal employees ordered to attend anti-leaking classes? Depends
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
NPR reads the Graham-Cassidy bill and explains it all to a senator who can't comprehend what it means, namely, the bill's co-author, Senator Cassidy (w/helpful pic of Cassidy in contemplation)
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 20, 2017
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick attempt to bribe JJ Watt to go easy on them
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Man dies in attempted murder-suicide, which really makes you wonder what would've happened if the attempt had been successful
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Tucker Carlson: "Erik Wemple? I don't know him, and I don't even think that's a real name." Erik Wemple: "Hey, remember when I was on your show? Video don't lie"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 19, 2017
(Salon)
 
 
 
Are you white? If you said yes, a new study claims you don't have empathy
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 18, 2017
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese zoo penguin heartbroken after temporarily losing his 2-D cardboard cutout waifu to typhoon threat
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The judge who inexplicably had Canelo Alvarez decisively winning the Triple G fight Saturday night has been temporarily suspended
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun September 17, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Parachuter at BYU game runs out of room while attempting to land on field, but you have to expect that when those large Mormon families gather
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Toys 'R' Us, where a kid is just a kid...a really bored kid wandering down empty aisles filled with dust and broken corporate dreams
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kicker has field goal attempt blocked, so he just kicks the ball again - immediately
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 16, 2017
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Diver stumbles upon undersea cache of explosive kamikaze motorboats. He identified them with help of contemporary flyers and band posters
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitchener Record)
 
 
 
Banana-hammock hemp-head hipster is getting his bong returned from the po-po. His shrewd move of protesting semi-nude paid off
source: therecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 15, 2017
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona Public Service is offering free thermostats. The catch-you have to let them control the temperature
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Motel 6 employees will no longer get the ICE for every Hispanic guest
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Nagoya officially named most boring city in Japan. Miffed mayor's complaints to Prime Minister fall upon dozing ears, and comedians employ the Nagoya dialect as "the default accent of humiliation"
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 14, 2017
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Local police: Come see our maths and our braveries for battling remoteness and humidity as we eradicate this jungle of marijuana. Public: Dude, that's wild hemp. Local authorities: Quick... Shut up, delete the post, release the crickets
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 13, 2017
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Copier company forced former employee into a pagan ritual to exorcise demons from office, lawsuit says
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Krebs On Security)
 
 
 
An online portal designed to let Equifax employees in Argentina manage credit report disputes from consumers in that country was wide open, protected by perhaps the most easy-to-guess password combination ever: "admin/admin"
source: krebsonsecurity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Supreme Court needs to shoot down Wisconsin's attempts at gerrymandering, as failing to do so would somehow make Wisconsin even worse
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The failed (so far) Russian attempt to gain access to US intel and military intel from the administration they bought and paid for. Buried lede: Pompeo secretly went to Moscow back in May
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Full credit to Black Mirror for Apple's chilling attempt at technological dystopia
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 12, 2017
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bat contemplation
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
How James Dyson created a $3 billion vacuum empire, and how Subby had an old headline pun that was just collecting dust
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Finally, something to be outraged about: McDonald's employees are trained to use a secret technique to give customers less fries
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 11, 2017
(Cageside Seats)
 
 
 
How will John Cena savage Roman Reigns this week? Who will Brock Lesnar ragdoll in an attempt to one-up Braun Strowman's showing last week? Now that she's in the Fatal 4way, what's next for the Women's Emmalution? WWE Raw tonight at 8 ET on USA
source: cagesideseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Rian Johnson decides to preemptively fire himself from Star Wars Episode IX
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Call center employees discuss the worst things that have ever been said to them
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 09, 2017
(Wired)
 
 
 
Tractor company employees brace for a Deere John letter
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu September 07, 2017
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Gas station employees in Milwaukee are fed up with daily raids from juvenile thieves. One clerk gets mad and locks them inside (with video)
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Submarine builder admits to killing journalist, claims it was an accident and the sinking was a suicide attempt. Unlikely tag busy frantically wiping fingerprints
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed September 06, 2017
(WWE)
 
 
 
WHAT is the future of the Empress of Tomorrow? CAN Hideo Itami make Kassius Ohno Go To Sleep? WILL Joey Ryan use "the most illegal move ever" against his former partner Cortez Castro? "Wrasslin' Wednesday" begins @ 8pm ET on El Rey, WWE Network
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
The Kardashian empire is expanding again. The Federation is on red alert
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
U.S. Commander apologizes after "highly offensive" pamphlets are airdropped in Afghanistan. Meanwhile, scientists at DARPA reconsider their attempt to weaponize Jack Chick tracts
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue September 05, 2017
(The Washington Outsider)
 
 
 
Like precious metals, some employees are silver, others are gold, and an elite few are platinum while the majority are either copper or iron. They are not treated as individuals with unique skills sets and backgrounds
source: washingtonoutsider.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon September 04, 2017
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Maybe they should just stop giving employees the capabilities to type words out to a receipt
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat September 02, 2017
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Deep State attempts cover up of Trump's rescue effort
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Kelly attempting to corral Trigger
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
White nationalists are only temporarily banned from the University of Florida
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri September 01, 2017
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Dow, DuPont complete their planned merger to form DowDuPont, exemplifying the keen business acumen that put them in that situation to begin with
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Mike Coffman has announced that he will attempt to force a vote on a bill that would protect the hundreds of thousands of people who came to the United States as undocumented minors. Coffman is a Republican
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 31, 2017
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Joe Haden wasn't unemployed for long
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 30, 2017
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The best part about looking at vintage Star Wars merch collections is when you get to put on the Vader helmet and badly recite lines from Empire
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
WILL Bobby Roode get revenge on Roderick Strong? CAN the Temple withstand Son of Havoc and Son of Madness' continuing feud? WHAT is the fate of the NXT Womens' Title? "Wrasslin' Wednesday" begins @ 8pm ET on El Rey, WWE Network
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paste Magazine)
 
 
 
New Comics (8/30): Secret Empire mercifully ends, Darkseid gives us an upskirt shot, Mace Windu finally gets his own motherfarking comic, Moneypenny gets out from behind the desk, and Hawkeye hunts the most dangerous game....Hawkeye
source: pastemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Attempting to explain the disastrous 2017 movie season
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 29, 2017
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Remember the guy who set a $70,000 a year minimum wage for his employees? Well, it's been three years, and turns out the idea has legs
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
For a few hours, the gift Shop at Trump Towers in NYC had KKK hoods "for fine people" and "urine-proof" rubber sheets for sale until a reporter ruined everything by trying to buy them and thus alerting store employees to their presence
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 28, 2017
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Evil Empire prevents Lord Vader from throwing out first pitch
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cageside Seats)
 
 
 
Will the 4th time be the charm for Sasha Banks to successfully defend her belt? Will Braun Strowman have to settle for beating up Paul Heyman? Is Jerry Lawler going to make an appearance? WWE Raw is live from Memphis on the USA Network, 8pm ET
source: cagesideseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just the Trump Organization attempting to strike a deal for a Trump Tower in Moscow, while Trump was running for president
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 27, 2017
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Family's attempt to get uninvited bear to leave their cookout goes about as well as can be expected
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
So how do you get butter to be room temperature so you can consume it better?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Apparently, Charlottesville racist who attempted to shoot into crowd of counter-protesters was a mutant because he was invisible to the police standing beside him
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 25, 2017
(The Root)
 
 
 
If you're looking for a quiet place to be alone and get away from the NFL this season - Two Chicago bars supporting Kaepernick will be empty on game days
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 24, 2017
(CBC)
 
 
 
Well there's a weapon you don't see used that often in an attempted robbery
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Worst airport in America, LaGuardia airport, is getting an $8 billion makeover in an attempt to help them become the 2nd worst airport in America
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aint-It-Cool-News)
 
 
 
Oh look, BIGGER AT-ATs and a HUGE Star Destroyer. Totally not a rehash of Empire Strikes Back. That would require a Jedi being trained in a remote place
source: aintitcool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 23, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump sends message to corrupt law enforcement officials everywhere that those convicted of criminal contempt will be pardoned, starting with Sheriff Joe Arpaio
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Facebook temporarily down, leaving thousands of users who can't portray a skewed version of their life in panic (possible Not safe for work content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 22, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Protip: If 'Kill the Jews', 'At the Dawn of a New Aryan Empire' and 'Behead the Semite' are among the catchy titles produced by the record label you own, you might find yourself looking for some new law partners
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Cleveland Browns players stage National Anthem protest before game against Giants. However, they've no fear of ending up like Kaepernick because playing for the Browns makes them unemployable anyway
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 21, 2017
(Time)
 
 
 
This email template is guaranteed to get you a meeting with anyone you want
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 20, 2017
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man who holds controversial views finds himself unemployable. For some reason, people have a problem with this
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 19, 2017
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
How a disgusting sex tape turned the Kardashians into a billion-dollar empire
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 18, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty office
source: i.kinja-img.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 17, 2017
(ESPN)
 
 
 
No NFL roster is perfect, but here is an attempt to build the best roster money can buy under the salary cap
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Should employees be required to take a drug test for a job?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
National Park Service says you can try to fill up the Grand Canyon with empty discarded water bottles again
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 16, 2017
(Motor Racing Network)
 
 
 
Shrub is going to attempt to beat up on the kids and ruin his final NASCAR Truck Series race of the year in a special midweek running of the UNOHZOMGWTFBBQ 200 at the remains of Bristol Motor Speedway, 8:30pm ET on FS1
source: mrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Disgusted Robert Mueller Eats 2 20-Piece Chicken McNugget Meals In One Sitting In Attempt To Get Into Trump's Mind
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mike "I Guess I'm the Dad Here" Pence has to cut South American trip short to come back and attempt to get the Trump Train back on the rails it has clearly flown off
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Roman Polanski puts down his beer in an attempt to catch Bill Cosby's record
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I am underemployed and using the local food bank to help supplement my family's grocery needs. I feel anger and resentment when I see others here using iPads and wearing expensive watches. I feel they don't need it. What do I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 15, 2017
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Chewbacca mauls worker at Australian ski resort, is promptly apprehended by the Empire
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Turns out the alt right moron that Trump retweeted last night is the same guy who attempted to smear anti Trump protests with a "rape Melania" protest sign. The Aristocrats
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 14, 2017
(Time)
 
 
 
Helen Mirren has Ivanka Trump squarely in her sights when talking about Ivanka's empowerment book. You never want to be squarely in Helen's sights
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Chairman of the Virginia GOP tries his hand at being the very model of a modern moderate Republican: Sure, you have to be "unequivocal" and "emphatic" about denouncing white supremacists, BUT those Confederate statues really SHOULD stay up
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
What's most to blame for the rise of the alt-right? A) Racism. B) Empowerment by Donald Trump. C) Zack Snyder's movie "300"
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
"Officers were involved in a decidedly slow-speed early morning pursuit in New Orleans East when they chased down a man attempting to steal a steamroller"
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Mike Godwin declares criticism of Charlottesville alt-right protesters exempt from Godwin's Law
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 13, 2017
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Joe's Crab Shack employees feel the pinch after restaurants abruptly close
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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