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Headlines matching 'EMI'
Fri February 10, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Contact Music) Interesting Demi Moore Seeking Spiritual Advice from Michael Jackson's guru  (contactmusic.com) (11)
(Fark) Survey What is your favorite euphemism for the deed? Subby likes 'bumping uglies'  (fark.com) (370)
(BBC) Interesting Dear policy holder: Our computers have detected your car moving at an actuarially imprudent speed. Your credit card has been billed for the resulting insurance premium increase  (bbc.co.uk) (100)
(BBC) Weird Those keen football fans Kermit and Miss Piggy give their opinion on this weekend's English Premier League action  (bbc.co.uk) (11)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Yahoo) Dumbass Bush would like to remind you he was not a gambler with tax payer monies, and you can take that to the bank  (beta.finance.yahoo.com) (102)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Washington Post) Obvious Academic experts release 200 page paper showing that online dating doesn't always go well  (washingtonpost.com) (293)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Daily Mail) Followup Researcher at Institute of Extracting Theories from Our Rectums posits that epidemic of Tourette's-like symptoms plaguing New York town is caused by people unconsciously mimicking what they see on Facebook and YouTube  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Thank you South Korea for the best Incredible Hulk sculpture ever created...and reminding me to make sure I get enough fiber  (bleedingcool.com) (34)
(CNN) Sad Obesity epidemic hits US pets. Your dog wants steak, but could use a salad  (cnn.com) (121)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Because he hasn't said anything stupid for almost 24 hours, Jim Irsay would like to remind everyone that he remains close with...Parson? Patton? Peyote? What was that kid's name again?   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (48)
(NHL) Cool Sam Gagner becomes only the 12th player in NHL history to have an 8 point game. Last player was Lemieux in 1989, the year Gagner was born  (nhl.com) (92)


Thu February 02, 2012
(News.com.au) Fail Facebook will soon offer a "Premium Subscription Service" that will offer you more, and better ads. Now who wouldn't want that?  (news.com.au) (73)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Some Steampunk Guy) Ironic The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing have been blamed for something. Now that's what I call irony  (roarrock.co.uk) (39)
(Politico) Stupid WSJ publishes opinion piece which states Obama has an enemies list headed Charles and David Koch, written by... the lawyer for Charles and David Koch. Fox News smiles as its apprentice finally becomes a Sith  (politico.com) (60)


Tue January 31, 2012
(YouTube) Video Awesome Bohemian Rhapsody one-dude-in-split-screen cover, with bonus features - The Clapper and a Wonder Woman Bobblehead  (youtube.com) (42)


Mon January 30, 2012
(Washington Post) PSA Reminder: When using a government computer network, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy regarding any communications  (washingtonpost.com) (103)
(Gwinnett Daily Post) Dumbass Illinois man sends murder threats and mailbombs to Georgia schools in hopes of getting personal enemies investigated. How'd that plan work out for you, big guy?  (gwinnettdailypost.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Embattled Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho tired of drama in Spain, allegedly has decided to return to English Premier League this summer. Immortal quote: "It's not about the money"  (adifferentleague.co.uk) (39)
(CNN) Interesting Use of euphemisms is distorting the truth about what happened at Penn State when Jerry Sandusky played squish the wrinkly Vienna sausage into the budding brown balloon knot  (cnn.com) (50)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Starpulse) Spiffy Mary Louise Parker to replace Demi Moore in "Lovelace." UPGRADE  (starpulse.com) (68)
(Think Progress) Sick Obamacare kills another leukemia patient. Oh, did I say Obamacare? Sorry, I meant tax cuts  (thinkprogress.org) (85)
(YouTube) Spiffy Best highlight of the Federer/Nadal semifinal match? The ball boy's catch in the 3rd set  (youtube.com) (21)
(Yahoo) Amusing Micromet, AmGen to merge, form Anemic GromMet  (finance.yahoo.com) (5)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Mitt Romney actually got hit on Romneycare, and would like to remind you that "it's nothing to get angry about". Because opposing anger appeals to Republicans   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (17)
(The New York Times) Dumbass Iran says they are alone in this world and thus, must preemptively strike their enemies. Just kidding, it was Israel that said it  (nytimes.com) (92)


Thu January 26, 2012
(UPI) Followup That Demi Moore overdose? Turns out it was nitrous oxide. Perhaps she was just rehearsing for her Fast & Furious 6 audition  (upi.com) (79)
(The Consumerist) Interesting Alaska Airlines to stop handing out prayer cards to remind you to kiss your ass goodbye  (consumerist.com) (44)
(Washington Post) Fail It's been 20 years since your football team has done anything but fail spectacularly, so what's a local paper to do when yet another unreached Superbowl's coming and there's empty column inches to fill? TWENTY YEAR REMINISCENCE  (washingtonpost.com) (61)
(Yahoo) Fail Fed Chairman Bernanke thinks we may need another stimulus. This reminds me of that quote about doing something over and over again expecting different results  (finance.yahoo.com) (154)
(Some Guy) Unlikely "Can Demi Moore really be suffering from exhaustion?" asks columnist who is also curious as to whether Santa Claus visited on December 25th, if pro wrestling matches are scripted   (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com) (28)
(Telegraph) Obvious Premiere League soccer is headed for the same fate as the NFL. With pic of fans who understand why  (telegraph.co.uk) (44)


Tue January 24, 2012
(TMZ) Scary Demi Moore rushed to the hospital after an apparent overdose  (tmz.com) (125)
(NYPost) Spiffy Nudity clauses are now becoming standard in network TV contracts. That reminds me, just what is Dennis Franz up to these days?  (nypost.com) (50)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Some Guy) Sad The demise of Kanye West may be traced back to the festival where he showed up 45 minutes late, had sound trouble, and fans started leaving him in favor of a show by Noel Gallagher  (couriermail.com.au) (50)


Sun January 22, 2012
(Deadspin) Fail FOX aired an English Premier League match live on broadcast TV for the first time. Too bad lots of affiliates decided "Corky Romano" was more compelling television  (deadspin.com) (141)


Sat January 21, 2012
(Sufferin' succotash) Cool Yosemite in time lapse HD  (vimeo.com) (38)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Think Progress) Hero Obama signs off on forcing health insurers to almost universally cover contraceptives in their plans. Insurance carriers to announce premium hikes to cover the high cost of women getting not pregnant  (thinkprogress.org) (398)
(CNN) Sad At last, leukemia no longer has a hold on Etta James  (cnn.com) (65)
(LA Times) Followup Will shutting down MegaUpload mean the end of file sharing websites? Lets have a minute of silence, or 15 seconds if you are a premium user  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (196)
(MSNBC) Obvious To the surprise of no one, turns out Gadhafi had undeclared chemical weapons  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (32)


Thu January 19, 2012
(LA Times) Interesting Bob Barker would like to remind you to spay or neuter your zoo elephants.... or something like that  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (20)
(YouTube) Fail SOPA hates Turtles TECHNO REMIX  (youtube.com) (10)
(CBS News) Obvious Parent company of Old Country Buffet files for bankruptcy after realizing that running an "All You Can Eat" restaurant in a country undergoing an obesity epidemic probably isn't such a hot business model  (cbsnews.com) (60)


Wed January 18, 2012
(Warming Glow) Spiffy The "Justified" season premiere was 20 gallons of liquid terrific in a ten-gallon hat  (warmingglow.uproxx.com) (96)
(Globe and Mail) Amusing "Fark.com is being satirical in their support, as you might expect from the premier purveyors of the extremely dark and funny headlines." Hey, we're dark, but we have a heart when it comes to SOPA. (11th item from bottom)  (live.theglobeandmail.com) (3)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Guardian) Amusing What do Fabio Cannavaro, Robert Pires, Hernan Crespo, Maniche, and Robbie Fowler have in common? They'll all be playing in the (Indian) Premier League next year  (guardian.co.uk) (16)


Mon January 16, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly The "Napoleon Dynamite" animated series pulled in solid ratings for its premiere, GOSH  (insidetv.ew.com) (208)
(YouTube) Amusing Best highlight of the 2012 Golden Globes? Ricky Gervais reminiscing about "Leave it to Beaver" (at 1'38")  (youtube.com) (40)
(Miami Herald) Spiffy Outgoing Russian President Dimitry Medvedev pulls a mini-coup on his way out the door. Premier Putin reportedly most displeased  (miamiherald.com) (29)


Sun January 15, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Unlikely Leading health expert says that moms' habits in the 1950s launched the obesity epidemic of today. Curse you June Cleaver  (mnn.com) (183)


Fri January 13, 2012
(cfnews13.com) Florida Man accused of choking swan at lake. This is not a euphemism  (cfnews13.com) (50)
(Some Extremist) Scary Christian extremists rewrite the Constitution, and you're not in it  (thenewcivilrightsmovement.com) (113)
(Daily Mail) Scary At your university, professors have minor spats about academic matters. At Oxford University, they just straight up murder their rivals  (dailymail.co.uk) (49)


Thu January 12, 2012
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Just to remind you, if your crack dealer sells you sugar instead of the desired product, let it go. Calling 911 isn't going to help  (thesmokinggun.com) (26)


Wed January 11, 2012
(Contact Music) Interesting Demi Moore to play hot piece of ass Gloria Steinem  (contactmusic.com) (44)
(CNN) Dumbass Katy Perry's father apologizes for anti-Semitic remarks, shows that boobs run in the family  (marquee.blogs.cnn.com) (30)
(ESPN) Dumbass It's not the systemic incompetence and the firing of the head coach every year. The reason the Raiders suck is because of their stadium  (espn.go.com) (65)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Yahoo) Amusing United Airlines puts on a troll face, reminds Steelers fans they got Tebowned before departing Denver  (sports.yahoo.com) (93)
(Fox News) Scary Have four or more drinks 4 times a month? Congratulations, you're part of the epidemic of American binge drinkers that a new CDC study has just discovered. EVERYBODY *hic* PANIC  (foxnews.com) (286)


Mon January 09, 2012
(CTV) News Feds uncover suspected Islamic extremist plot to bomb Tampa; Newsflash and Florida tags dive for cover  (ctv.ca) (295)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Seattle Times) Interesting Australia's fondness of vegemite finally explained  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (74)


Sat January 07, 2012
(Bitten and Bound) Spiffy Demi Lovato is angry with God and wants him to know it. On the bright side, things with Timbaland appear to be just fine  (bittenandbound.com) (48)
(BBC) Spiffy Mae Jemison, America's first black female astronaut and famed for her cameo on ST:TNG, named to head DARPA's 100-year starship project  (bbc.co.uk) (65)
(Slate) Obvious More CO2 means more environmental damage and death-and the only way to address it is to cut carbon emissions. While this makes for a catchy political message, it has the distinct disadvantage of being wrong  (slate.com) (125)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious Last night's Jersey Shore season premiere proved one thing: we're all tired of Jersey Shore  (insidetv.ew.com) (59)
(Ohio.com) Dumbass Guns don't kill people. 50 caliber semiautomatic Desert Eagle wielding trailer park stepchild rednecks kill people (with gratuitious pic)  (ohio.com) (77)


Thu January 05, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Fresh off his last-place finish in Iowa, Jon Huntsman reminds everyone he's still in the race, still thinks he's relevant. Which, given past history, means he'll be the new GOP frontrunner by Sunday  (portsmouth-nh.patch.com) (44)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Okay guys, picture Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus fighting. Picture Selena Gomez off on the side watching. I could give you my SSN but I am sure none of you are reading this anymore  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)
(MSNBC) Obvious After I finish updating my Facebook page with precise details on my location and actions, and Tweet about what I just did in the bathroom, remind me to tell you about the seven signs that show we're living in the post-privacy era  (technolog.msnbc.msn.com) (18)
(News.com.au) Interesting Vegemite changes its name to 'Australia', still tastes like a dead dingo's ass  (news.com.au) (16)


Tue January 03, 2012
(St. Petersburg Times) Silly Feminists upset after Lego launches a toy line for girls. "Someone should tell them that they already have one; it's called Legos"  (tampabay.com) (327)


Mon January 02, 2012
(LA Times) Interesting California: "We're proud of our strict emissions laws." Federal Court: "LOL, Commerce Clause"  (latimes.com) (43)
(BusinessWeek) Asinine Either this article is about politics, or "Iowa Surprise" is a euphemism for a frightening sex act  (businessweek.com) (29)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Ron Paul reminds us that the Civil Rights Act destroyed private property as part of his "Ok guys, I'm gonna tank my campaign" final push  (huffingtonpost.com) (180)


Sun January 01, 2012
(CBC) Obvious Man trained as Mayan timekeeper insists world will not end in 2012, reminds you to buy his Mayan dayplanner expansion pack  (cbc.ca) (92)


Sat December 31, 2011
(Some Guy) Sad Key West -- which writers Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, Robert Frost, Judy Blume, Robert Stone, Jim Harrison, Maria Bishop, Mark Childress and others have called home -- is down to one bookstore. Sad easily trumps Florida  (keysnet.com) (142)


Fri December 30, 2011
(Chicago Sun-Times) Unlikely In a reminder that the US legal system is serious business, "Beverly Hillbillies" actress settles lawsuit over Barbie doll  (suntimes.com) (80)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Rasmussen Reports) Interesting America's middle class is to blame for its own demise  (rasmussenreports.com) (201)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Catholic school teacher fired for becoming pregnant through artificial insemination. You know, the last time a woman had a kid with no father present, they made her a saint  (dailymail.co.uk) (76)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Huffington Post) Sad Middle eastern religious extremists bully, harass, and even spit on girls as young as 8 years old for immodest dress. Just another day in the life of Muslim funda...wait, what? Orthodox Jews?  (huffingtonpost.com) (317)
(WRAL) PSA Durham, NC billboard reminds residents not to fire guns to celebrate New Year's. Still no billboard reminding them that Duke sucks  (wral.com) (29)


Sat December 24, 2011
(Lohud.com) Sappy Nine-year-old boy with leukemia gets rescue puppy for Christmas, delivered by fire truck. And if that don't do the trick, the pic in TFA will demolish the rest of you cold-hearted bastards  (lohud.com) (67)
(ABC) Hero As if he had to remind everyone that he's a badass, Santa Claus pulls a man from a burning car THEN directs traffic around the flames to help keep passing motorists and pedestrians out of harm's way  (abcnews.go.com) (18)


Wed December 21, 2011
(Salon) Cool The Republican battle over the payroll tax cut is great news for Obama, whose political enemies are making him look really, really good  (salon.com) (100)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Some Goal) Cool Almost 20,000 Premier League goals have been scored, and here's an infographic breakdown of who's scored them and where they've been scored  (imgur.com) (34)
(Guardian) Amusing Scottish Premier League wants to create "safe-standing areas" in stadiums, though the thought of thousands of people standing and leaping about in seated areas worries them  (guardian.co.uk) (16)
(CNNGo) Spiffy Japan's candy version of sushi. It must be freshly prepared, it's more about presentation than taste, and the roe is creepily reminiscent of eyeballs. Same goes for the candy  (cnngo.com) (11)
(gather.com) Spiffy "This whole incident is reminiscent of a meme popular on Fark.com - when someone dies, people will post the message "RIP,______,"  (celebs.gather.com) (12)


Mon December 19, 2011
(I Heart Chaos) Interesting Meet Kim Jong Chul, the son of Kim Jong Il that was "too soft and feminine" to be the next Dear Leader, meaning he has a knack for writing poetry about how the world should be free of nukes and we should all live in harmony  (iheartchaos.com) (100)
(Salon) Dumbass Cheney urges "quick airstrike" against Iran, to be followed by a "swift invasion" that will pay for itself when the teeming masses rise up to embrace their American liberators  (salon.com) (259)


Fri December 16, 2011
(WISHTV) Dumbass Semi truck of Blackberry Playbooks stolen. Police thought about looking for suspects, but figure they'll all be returned once it's realized they don't work  (wishtv.com) (26)


Wed December 14, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Your high school chemistry students won't keep their safety goggles on. Do you: C) spray them in the face with Lysol?  (triblocal.com) (101)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Huffington Post) Strange Rick Santorum has one redeeming quality that farkers can finally agree on: He loves beer  (huffingtonpost.com) (124)


Mon December 12, 2011
(Washington Post) Scary Living on a former US Army chemical warfare testing range is great up until your feet turn black  (washingtonpost.com) (50)
(Washington Post) Stupid Blackwater, which renamed itself Xe Services, is changing its name again to Academi, and from now on will be known as "Blackwater"  (washingtonpost.com) (132)


Sun December 11, 2011
(LA Times) Obvious English Premier League is USA's top soccer league, with huge edge in TV ratings, talent, and salaries over MLS. "The passion that you see in the Premiership, it's unique. It's something that really draws American fans in"  (latimes.com) (146)
(LiveLeak) Sappy Baby elephant pool party. This is not a euphemism  (liveleak.com) (16)


Fri December 09, 2011
(News24) Interesting Scientists found that supplementing the cows' feed with the leftover material from wine-making reduced methane emissions by 20%, increased milk production by 5% and raised snobbery levels 100%  (news24.com) (70)


Thu December 08, 2011
(Herald Tribune) Florida School police officer to parents: "Sexting is a new epidemic, and it could be on your child's cell phone." Then he proved it beyond a reasonable doubt with 14 year old. That's above and beyond the call  (heraldtribune.com) (84)
(Some Guy) Stupid Gene Simmons calls Madonna a "karaoke singer", reminds you to buy the new Kiss Karaoke Machine   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com) (51)


Tue December 06, 2011
(Grantland) Interesting Week 14 in the Premier League: That strange, vertigo-inducing television angle at White Hart Lane makes the matches look like a video game. If that's the case, that kid from The Last Starfighter is currently controlling the Tottenham team  (grantland.com) (18)


Mon December 05, 2011
(The New York Times) Cool Good news the recession is over as demonstrated by a huge jump in global CO2 emissions  (nytimes.com) (77)
(io9) Cool Ten tidbits of wisdom from scifi/fantasy movies that you can live by. Especially if you like to crush your enemies  (io9.com) (155)


Fri December 02, 2011
(CNNGo) Interesting A visit to the Korean Demilitarized Zone, where military activity is prohibited, yet the air is so tense even the red-crowned cranes can't restrain themselves from an occasional arm wrestling match (6th photo)  (cnngo.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Fail Science teacher "rewards" class for doing well by performing a chemistry experiment that involves flammable liquid and fire. How could this possibly go wrong?  (minnesota.cbslocal.com) (55)
(Fark) FarkParty REMINDER: Michiana Fark Party @ Lakeshore Grill in Elkhart TOMORROW  (fark.com) (15)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Warming Glow) Fail Piers Morgan conveys his grief for Patrice O'Neal as only Piers Morgan can: "She died of a stroke today. I want... to remind everyone just how funny she was"  (warmingglow.uproxx.com) (50)
(TSN) Strange Anaheim Ducks celebrate breaking a 7 game losing streak the only way they know how: firing their head coach and hiring Bruce Boudreau. Emilio Estevez is in-farking-consolable  (tsn.ca) (32)


Wed November 30, 2011
(YouTube) Cool We're all cynical this time of year but Neil Diamond and John Lennon remind you to have a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year with a pretty cool video. WAR IS OVER IF YOU WANT IT KIDS  (youtube.com) (20)
(TMZ) Amusing This reminds me of the time that Charlie Sheen fans covered Seth McFarlane's house with toilet paper  (tmz.com) (33)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Whatever) Spiffy Not news: Hugo winning author John Scalzi live tweets while rewatching LoTR trilogy. Still not news: Asks for dubsteb remix of Smeagol fish battering scene. Fark: Gets it the next day  (whatever.scalzi.com) (79)


Mon November 28, 2011
(The Local (Germany)) Scary Today's Fark-ready headline:"Germany ready to inseminate you"  (thelocal.de) (52)
(AdAge) Interesting Sales of hard cider rise 25 percent in 2011, leading experts to proclaim cider the new craft beer, "drawing premium prices, coveted women drinkers and even more male fans attracted to bold flavors"  (adage.com) (53)


Sun November 27, 2011
(Nature) Interesting Why Alberta's carbon emissions trading scheme has failed  (nature.com) (22)


Sat November 26, 2011
(The New York Times) Obvious Regarding UC Davis: "I have never seen such an inappropriate and improper use of chemical agents." Of all the stupid, knee-jerk, liberal whining...oh the guy who invented pepper spray said that? Well crap  (nytimes.com) (413)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Showbiz Spy) Sappy Madonna reaches out to Demi Moore with those big ol' Popeye arms of hers  (showbizspy.com) (10)
(NPR) Spiffy After decades of strongly worded letters and failed attempts to arm the minority T-cells, the UN says the AIDS epidemic is finally stabilizing  (npr.org) (37)


Mon November 21, 2011
(Cracked) Interesting Michael Jackson was chemically castrated by Elvis or something  (cracked.com) (29)
(Daily Mail) Strange Woman spends the day waxing the crocodile in anticipation of mating season. Oddly not a euphemism  (dailymail.co.uk) (25)
(Paste Magazine) Cool 10 awesome electronic/remix artistsssSSsSssOONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ  (pastemagazine.com) (80)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Telegraph) Sad Study designed to illustrate just how effeminate Britain has become says men take longer to get ready than women -- including more time cleansing, toning and moisturizing  (telegraph.co.uk) (98)


Fri November 18, 2011
(IOL) Obvious Looks like Demi was sleeping with other women too, so LEAVE ASHTON ALONE  (iol.co.za) (47)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Seattle Times) Cool Oh hey Emirates. $17 billion worth of 777s is cool. Yeah, of course we are ordering $21 billion worth of 737s  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Sad Semi full of beer flips on the interstate. Eight fire trucks, twenty-six police cruisers, four ambulances, two local construction crews, five local newstations, and several hundred commuters show up to help clean up the crash  (kcci.com) (93)
(Missoulian) Obvious Superior man injured when semi truck proves inferior to freight train  (missoulian.com) (18)


Wed November 16, 2011
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Japanese cook arrested after squirting sake into a two year-old's mouth. Thank God that's not a euphemism  (consumerist.com) (58)


Mon November 14, 2011
(The Hill) Fail From the party that gave us the Star Wars defense system: "Furthermore, in the movie 'G.I. Jane,' Demi Moore was waterboarded, and if it worked in a Hollywood movie, it HAS to work in real life"  (thehill.com) (236)
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious Republican TV ad:"How come we haven't heard of Jon Huntsman?" Wild guess: Maybe because he's an actual politician and not some semieducated crazy zealot?  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (112)
(Yahoo) Obvious Sen. Schumer reminds Americans who are bad at math that after paying "layaway fees" and interest, many of them would have come out ahead just putting the purchase on plastic  (news.yahoo.com) (192)


Sun November 13, 2011
(Ars Technica) Interesting Modification to stimulated emission depletion imaging could shrink CPUs beyond current limits. That's a STED in the right direction  (arstechnica.com) (18)
(Science Daily) Sad In case you forgot the lesson taught by the extinction of the western black rhino, here are some African elephants to remind you that people suck  (sciencedaily.com) (16)


Sat November 12, 2011
(Pocono Record) Weird Alligators dressed up in hoodies and fleecy pajamas for plane trip to the hospital. No, this is not a euphemism (w/video)  (poconorecord.com) (41)
(ESPN) Obvious No Premier League games, but the international friendlies are going on today with South Africa v Ivory Coast, Wales v Norway, and the match everybody's watching: England v Spain  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (68)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Huffington Post) Stupid How stupid is Jim DeMint (R-SC)? He was the lone "no" vote on a bill to give tax breaks to businesses that hire veterans. Why? Because it's an "Obama trick"  (huffingtonpost.com) (164)
(Gate World) Interesting SyFy working on three new scripted dramas for next year. And no, that is not a euphemism for more fake wrestling  (gateworld.net) (33)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Fark) FarkParty REMINDER: Brooklyn Fark Party this Saturday 11/12 at 7PM at Beer Table in Park Slope  (fark.com) (47)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious American Journal of Epidemiology flips the "Alcohol's effect on health" coin again, comes up: "Bad"  (blogs.wsj.com) (50)
(YouTube) Amusing You knew it was only a matter of time: The Rick Perry debate fail remix  (youtube.com) (78)
(Starpulse) Cool Mickey Rourke always invites his shrink, dentist, and mechanic to his movie premieres. The only bad thing about this is that they're the same person  (starpulse.com) (14)


Wed November 09, 2011
(PhysOrg.com) Strange Scientists discover more strange and troubling behavior of common chemical, dihydrogen monoxide. When are we going to wake up and ban this once and for all?  (physorg.com) (35)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool I fondly remember when Morgan Freeman was chosen to receive the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes. My, my, my. It was like it was only yesterday. I don't think I'd ever forget that day  (hollywoodreporter.com) (46)
(Science Daily) Cool NASA develops super-black material, can't make up their minds if they want to name it Dolemite or Shaft  (sciencedaily.com) (137)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious Rush Limbaugh, America's favorite Oxycontin landfill, defends Herman Cain. Claims accusers use being sexually harassed as "liberal political weapon". Bonus point for use of the word "feminazis"   (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (109)
(Huffington Post) Sick Concerned Ohio conservatives provide helpful robocalls reminding Democrats to wait until after the election to vote  (huffingtonpost.com) (296)
(Salon) Asinine When director of Mississippi campaign to make "personhood" begin at conception--which would effectively ban in vitro fertilization--is reminded he owes his kids to IVF, he replies, "Nothing's fair," and walks away  (salon.com) (492)


Fri November 04, 2011
(Metronews.ca) Amusing FARK ready headline: "Now we know where Demi Moore likes it." Hint: It's not the front  (metronews.ca) (132)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious New study reveals that if your wife doesn't take your last name after marrying you, it's not because she's a feminist. She just doesn't like your last name  (mnn.com) (211)


Wed November 02, 2011
(CBC) Interesting Humans not to blame for all Ice Age mammals' demise. Just the tasty ones  (cbc.ca) (7)
(Grantland) Interesting Week 10 in the Premier League: Chelsea v. Arsenal was "an incredible, 90-minute sales pitch on why this can be the most electrifying sport in the world"  (grantland.com) (24)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting Scientists begin eel-tagging project. Oddly, this is not a euphemism  (thelocal.de) (9)


Sat October 29, 2011
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious So, everyone watched the premieres of Grimm and Chuck last night. Naw, just kidding, everyone was watching the World Series. Now next week, Fox will see their ratings win decline as Fringe will be back  (insidetv.ew.com) (48)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Huffington Post) Weird "Instead, Bruce tried to satisfy her feminine side by cross-dressing" (with yeah, you'd hit it, but it would hit you back video goodness)  (huffingtonpost.com) (283)


Thu October 27, 2011
(WPXI) Obvious The police would like to remind you that Halloween is coming up and the guns those little kids are carrying just might be toys, so please don't blow them away. Thank you  (wpxi.com) (74)
(Quad City Times) Fail For the last time, if you are going to drive your semi under a bridge, make sure you read the signs posted for miles and miles about the height restriction (w/pics)  (qctimes.com) (51)


Wed October 26, 2011
(YouTube) Video The many deaths of Steve Buscemi  (youtube.com) (19)


Mon October 24, 2011
(NPR) Spiffy Emily Dickinson's coconut cake recipe. Can be sung to the tune of Yellow Rose of Texas  (npr.org) (79)
(Some Guy) Interesting Fired waiter pulls fire alarm on way out, spraying diners and kitchen with chemicals. That's retardant  (syracuse.com) (79)


Sat October 22, 2011
(Some Penis) Dumbass Feminist group proposes a 24 ban on being sexist biatches, openly admits the list of things to not be sexist about is "impossible"  (marshallparthenon.com) (667)
(Some Bammer) Followup The Big 12's demise continues as Missouri has the votes needed to become the 14th member of the SEC. Go East(ern Division) young man  (m.columbiatribune.com) (49)
(Smh.com.au) Strange PMILF of Australia defends her decision to bow to Queen of England instead of the traditional feminine curtsy, and to not wear a hat. Monarchists beside themselves with quiet rage, stiff upper lip  (smh.com.au) (95)


Fri October 21, 2011
(The Times of India) Sad Half of Indian women are anemic. That's weak  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (106)


Thu October 20, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid GOP goes to plaid, accuses Democratic Rep of being antisemitic. He's Jewish, of course   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (124)
(Celebitchy) Obvious Ashton Kutcher despised by Demi Moore's daughters, Bruce Willis, everyone in general  (celebitchy.com) (56)
(Billboard) Dumbass After Maroon 5 Lead Singer tweets butthurt over Fox News using his songs for bumper music, hosts of FNC's Red Eye remind him how ASCAP/BMI & flamewars work  (billboard.com) (67)
(The New York Times) Interesting GOP presidential candidate: the six largest financial institutions are bigger than they were before the crisis. There is no evidence that they add sufficient value to offset the systemic risk they pose  (economix.blogs.nytimes.com) (47)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Sheriff Joe: "I was confused then .... I'm confused now" about the goings on with his office arresting political enemies. Rupert Murdoch seen scribbling notes  (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com) (91)
(Daily Mail) Scary Ashton Kutcher wants Demi Moore to disappear. She dutifully complies  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)


Tue October 18, 2011
(Guardian) Amusing The chemistry of wallaby farts  (guardian.co.uk) (17)


Mon October 17, 2011
(Coming Soon) Spiffy The second season premiere of "The Walking Dead" limps its way to record ratings  (comingsoon.net) (207)
(ESPN) Interesting Unnamed Premier League club has performed DNA tests on its soccer players to differentiate between the ones that will merely be blown over by a stiff breeze and the ones that will subsequently break an ankle when they land  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (56)


Sun October 16, 2011
(People Magazine) Sappy Christina Hendricks on life with her husband: "We take turns being the chef and sous chef." This has to be a euphemism for something, but I don't know what  (people.com) (76)


Sat October 15, 2011
(NPR) Amusing "No Mr Bond, I expect you to deliver a semi full of pipes to New Jersey"  (npr.org) (99)

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