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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(wptv.com)		An officer pulls you over after you stole $500 worth of jewelry. Do you a) Toss it out the window b) Go out guns blazing c) Hide it in that hot, delicious General Tso's chicken you just bought as a victory dinner (w/pic)  (wptv.com)	(44)
		Greek uncertainty weighs down Asia stocks  (marketwatch.com)	(2)
		Man demonstrates to his kids why you shouldn't drop a firecracker down a manhole  (youtube.com)	(49)
		BBC news crew manages to track down and confront racist internet tough guy, who was trolling memorial pages on Facebook  (liveleak.com)	(46)

		From the "Why Haven't They Been Doing That All Along?" files: Congress introduces legislation to limit levels of lead and arsenic in fruit juice. Next up - Bringing down the levels of broken glass in breakfast cereal  (consumerist.com)	(104)
		Justified producer Graham Yost sits down for Q&A as to why Justified is so awesome. Interviewer: "There is quite the body count already this season." Graham: "I don't know what you're talking about." (spoilers)  (insidetv.ew.com)	(54)

		Robert Downey Jr. jumped on the crazy baby name train in Hollywood naming his new baby boy: Exton  (dailystab.com)	(87)
		Why the U.S. Constitution is the Windows 3.1 of constitutions  (nytimes.com)	(331)
		Proposition 8 goes down  (washingtonpost.com)	(lots)
(Some Bird Guy)		Do you own a home with large windows? Is there a cat that you let out in your backyard? If so, you're a criminal  (blog.heritage.org)	(89)
		Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to climb a bronze statue of George Washington riding a horse and sit in the saddle for 45 minutes before the cops get him down  (myfoxdc.com)	(12)
		Greece is now down to three options: a) get farked b) get farked harder or c) get farked like an Athens schoolboy  (time.com)	(105)
		Feds win another battle in the war on file sharing as BTJunkie voluntarily shuts down  (telegraph.co.uk)	(125)
(Some Guy With Cool Shoes)		A Maryland mall is evacuated, and goes into lock down after: A) There are credible warnings of a terrorist threat, B) There is a massive gas leak, or C) Sneakers go on sale?  (baltimore.cbslocal.com)	(128)
		"Police spoke to the man, who said he had just gotten out of the shower and was walking past the window. He said he did not realize there were a lot of people across the street who could see him"  (palmbeachpost.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)		FREE LIQUOR. Shut. Down. Everything  (wtae.com)	(28)

		Madagascar lemurs practicing the martial arts? SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING  (dailymail.co.uk)	(38)
(NFL.com)		Ahmad Bradshaw did try to stop at the 1 yard line before accidentally scoring the biggest touchdown of his career  (nfl.com)	(156)
		The guy in the toga bouncing up and down on the not-so-tightrope in front of Madonna last night? Turns out he's kinda insane and does things with ropes that even your mom won't do  (youtube.com)	(32)

(Some " guy)		If you are going to claim that burglars stole your TV and took it out through a window, it's probably a good idea to take some measurements first  (thisissouthdevon.co.uk)	(25)
		The new GOP talking point on the improving economy: "It's because of what Republican governors are doing in their states." So, economy up -- GOP governors. Economy down -- President's fault. Got it?  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(142)
(Some Guy)		AT&T slows download speed of some iPhone customers. As if they needed technology to help them do that  (macrumors.com)	(66)

		DOW hits a 4 year high; NASDAQ hits an 11 year high. This is not a repeat from 2007, 1999, 1987, 1929  (money.cnn.com)	(58)
		Want to go out on a five-mile run and come back fatter than you were at the start? Head down to Raleigh for this year's Krispy Kreme Challenge  (newsobserver.com)	(18)
		Having solved all other crimes, Staten Island cops now cracking down on the evil malcontents who park outside the lines  (nypost.com)	(98)
		Sunoco CEO steps down after company posts $660 million loss. An oil company losing money? It's almost as inexplicable as a cotton candy stand in a carnival going broke  (washingtonpost.com)	(35)
		News: motorcyclist chases down DUI hit-and-run driver and hog-ties him with a belt. Texas: for the second time in 9 months. Fark: is recognized at the scene by the arresting police officer from the prior incident  (m.statesman.com)	(115)

		37 people gunned down at South Sudan peace conference  (bbc.co.uk)	(71)
(TorrentFreak)		Just in time for the Super Bowl, a bunch of those sports streaming websites shut down by the Feds are back online with new domain names  (torrentfreak.com)	(83)
		Come down to Marina del Rey. Enjoy the seafood, marvel at the yachts, see the bales of pot floating near the dock  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(39)
		Woman holding baby gets into argument over rent with boyfriend. After boyfriend douses woman in lighter fluid and sets her on fire, woman throws baby out window, where it is caught by attentive neighbors. The Aristocrats  (nydailynews.com)	(43)

(TheWrap)		Feds shut down 16 websites for streaming copyrighted footage, arrest webmaster. Coincidentally, don't miss the Super Bowl this Sunday on NBC  (thewrap.com)	(175)
		Leaked plan from Microsoft details the next version of Windows Phone. It's pretty much full of win  (engadget.com)	(86)
		"The days of conservatives being punching bags are over," says Rep. Allen West, excitedly bobbing up and down  (cnsnews.com)	(159)
		Woman robs bank for denture money after being turned down for bridge loan  (usatoday.com)	(22)
		I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout: "Put down those damn teabags and use me, you lout"  (mirror.co.uk)	(76)
		Angelo Dundee goes down for the 10 count  (sfgate.com)	(12)
		Well, Supernerds, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Literally. How will you top this?  (gizmodo.com)	(79)

These 21 amazing shadows will blow your mind. Bonus: No slideshow. Fark Bonus: Numbers 15 and 16  (buzzfeed.com)

(38)

		"Four South Side areas landed on AOL's dailyfinance.com list of the 25 most dangerous neighborhoods, which was posted Monday on Fark.com." We're always down with what happens in the streets, G  (redeyechicago.com)	(3)
		Leonard Cohen sits down for a Q&A session about his new album, upcoming tour, and general awesomeness  (rollingstone.com)	(33)
		"Sightings of raccoons are down 99 per cent, opossums 98.9 per cent and white-tailed deer 94 per cent." Giant pythons have eaten the Everglades  (smh.com.au)	(71)
(Some Guy)		There's nothing quite like buying a car, taking it for a spin, picking up the ladies, and watching it roll down a hill into a brand new swimming pool  (heraldsun.com.au)	(65)
		Recipe for fun: downtown Des Moines Marriott to be shared for a week by just two groups---Chinese government officials and high school wrestlers in town for the state high school wrestling tournament   (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)	(49)

		Missing community activist found. Apparently, he fell down a well. Onto a bullet  (washingtonpost.com)	(65)
		New Gingrich ad suggests that America is headed down the same path as Cuba with their government-run inexpensive health care for all citizens. ¡Viva la Revolución  (washingtonpost.com)	(129)
		You have a fight with your pregnant girlfriend - do you a) take the blame even if it's not your fault. b) walk away and come back when things cool down. c) rip off all of her clothes and leave her naked in the street. HINT: Florida Tag  (beatcalls.com)	(64)
		Meet the guy who turned down a founding role in Facebook to work for the 2004 John Kerry campaign instead. Things have actually worked out pretty well for him  (abcnews.go.com)	(19)
(Some Guy)		Another Club Med closes, narrowing the list of vacation destinations for balding, hairy-backed men hoping to get invited to a swinger party as they wander about the beach sucking down pina coladas while in the full throes of a mid-life crisis  (couriermail.com.au)	(42)
		Facebook detective tracks down attackers  (lep.co.uk)	(14)
		Newt Gingrich says his war chest is down to $600,000 for the upcoming Florida Primary, tells Callista to cancel scheduled campaign appearance at Tiffany's  (sfgate.com)	(33)
		A scholarly examination of why certain cultures chow down on things the rest of the world finds repulsive, like hakarl, natto, Sardinian maggot cheese, and White Castle burgers  (nytimes.com)	(75)

		Aviation experts warn: don't try to launch your own half-assed "experiments" into space, they could bring down commercial aircrafts  (thestar.com)	(141)
(Filmland)		"The Devil Inside" averaged $92 per theater yesterday. Well, this article was written 3 days ago, so that's probably down to...I don't know, $20 maybe  (famousmonstersoffilmland.com)	(98)
		100 Occupy protesters learn that an illegal demonstration is when you stick around after the police tell you to move your legal demonstration. Oh, and when you tear down a fence to take over an empty building  (latimes.com)	(224)
(Seattle Weekly)		Irish distillery unveils 65% ABV version of poitin, hopes to export it to USA. "We want to bring Poitín out from the shadows and let Irish people have a national white spirit they can be proud of"  (blogs.seattleweekly.com)	(60)

		You have some sort of beef with a trucking company. Do you C) drive a flatbed truck though the company's window and set all the computers on fire after you spray paint "DO NOT ENTER-BOOBY TRAPPED" on the front of your house?  (stltoday.com)	(45)
		As the GOP race comes down to just Gingrich and Romney, the voters are being heard loud and clear and they are saying "Is there maybe a third choice we could look at?"  (news.yahoo.com)	(468)
		Wisconsin's National Mustard Museum gets last-minute reprieve, will not have to shut down. In related news, there's a National Mustard Museum in Wisconsin  (upi.com)	(72)
		Theme: Me and My Shadow (LGN)  (fark.com)	(42)

Downtown skiing - how the fark does it work?  (youtube.com)

(19)

		Be sure you're sitting down when you watch this  (youtube.com)	(101)
		Illinois sues S&P over downgrade of state, pizza  (cnbc.com)	(14)
(Some Guy)		Man breaks a window on a campus building, climbs a tree to enter through the second story window, steals a book, then leaps from the second story without injury. If only he hadn't left his backpack with his name on it in the tree  (thestarpress.com)	(7)
		Breaking down Florida's GOP support by region. Jacksonville: Romney. Miami: Gingrich. Naples: Santorum. Tampa Bay: RON PAUL  (www2.tbo.com)	(18)
(Some Guy)		Man packs up his 22 cats, hauls them down a mountain on a sled, loads them onto a raft that takes him to a car where he drives 250 miles so he can move into his friend's shipping container. Now he wants to find a woman  (adn.com)	(40)
(Some Guy)		There's everyday green, then there's "capital G Green," and then there's "your energy-efficient windows are melting your neighbor's Prius" Green  (losangeles.cbslocal.com)	(98)
		Canada's new SOPA-style copyright bill could shut down YouTube. What's this all aboot, eh?  (boingboing.net)	(58)

		The best type of degree to have in a down economy? A Liberal Arts degree  (usatoday.com)	(165)
		A Personal Smack Down from Wikipedia Founder Jimmy Wales  (venturebeat.com)	(70)
		This handy little run-down of top marginal and capital gains tax rates under presidents from FDR to the present might help explain why we used to have money to build roads and fight wars and stuff, and now we don't  (news.yahoo.com)	(301)
		Priest arrested after being found nude from waist down at adult book store. He is risen  (washingtonpost.com)	(24)

(Houston Press)		Experts say to expect more arrests of people shoving steak down their pants as meat prices skyrocket this year  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(123)
		When spray painting the words 'School X-ing' in front of a school, make sure you spell school correctly. "It speaks volumes about the dumbing down of American culture"  (nypost.com)	(147)
		Psst...Ahmed, Look out the window, is the carrier gone? You sure? okay. *clears throat* You western Imperialist dogs had better drop your sanctions against Iran if you want to keep using the Straits of Hormuz  (cbsnews.com)	(126)
		Music Industry: Oh, that's OK, we don't need SOPA or PIPA, we have enough clout with the Feds to shut down our competitors right now  (plus.google.com)	(59)

		In a freak mishap, the Supreme Court votes *against* the police state by striking down warrantless GPS vehicle tracking  (cbsnews.com)	(222)
		New report about Fukushima disaster says Japan hid worst-case scenarios of radiation, reactor meltdown, large lizard off the coast  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(23)

(Some Guy)		"Nowitzki will miss 4 games to improve conditioning." Because running up and down a basketball court for 48 minutes is no way to get in shape  (cnnsi.com)	(24)
		Just when you've been thinking "Hey, I haven't seen any real good videos yet this winter, of cars sliding and crashing down an icy hill." Behold, cars sliding and crashing down an icy hill in Utah  (liveleak.com)	(115)

		President of Madagascar finds everything. Shut. Down.  (reuters.com)	(27)
		The Governor of Virginia wants to sell the naming rights to the state's roads to the highest bidders. Personally, Subby can't wait to drive down the FARK UFIA Highway  (washingtonpost.com)	(86)
		Archaeological discoveries in the Amazon show extensive urban development, which is complete nonsense since we know Columbus created the first cities by burning down all the natives and exploiting them for oil  (nytimes.com)	(35)
		US women's soccer team beats Dominican Republic by two touchdowns  (espn.go.com)	(10)

		They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Dude's got some pretty red windows. Your weekly mugshot round up  (thesmokinggun.com)	(164)
		"Why did Obama shut down Wikipedia?"  (geekout.blogs.cnn.com)	(63)
		On the off chance that his constituency might include people who like to Fark, watch Youtube, cheat using Wikipedia, or simply illegally download some music, Harry Reid (D-idn't think it all the way through) has postponed the vote on PIPA  (news.yahoo.com)	(108)
		Will shutting down MegaUpload mean the end of file sharing websites? Lets have a minute of silence, or 15 seconds if you are a premium user  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(196)
		British TV announcers have been deliberately mispronouncing The Simpsons for years. This would never happen with Downton Abbey  (shortlist.com)	(32)
(AP)		Judge rules Vermont order shutting down state's only nuclear power plant was illegal attempt to regulate nuclear safety  (masslive.com)	(25)
		Longshoreman compacted down to more manageable shortshoreman   (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(52)

		In retaliation for the shut down of megaupload.com today, Anonymous shuts down DoJ, RIAA, MPAA, and Universal Music websites  (gizmodo.com)	(131)
		Warren Buffett writes check made out to the United States Treasury for just over $49,000 to help pay down the national debt. Was spent by the time subby finished writing out this headline  (finance.yahoo.com)	(190)
		They both cause women's pants to fall down  (wired.com)	(44)
(IBD)		Obama shuts down Disneyworld for a day so he can give a speech to Floridians about how to improve their struggling tourism industry  (news.investors.com)	(141)
		Remember when Newt predicted that it would come down to him and Romney and we all laughed and laughed. Yeah, about that  (talkingpointsmemo.com)	(85)
(Some Dirty Eater)		Protip: If TV investigates your dirty restaurant, and the state shuts you down, you prolly should get rid of all of the bugs before you reopen  (wtsp.com)	(39)
		Help, the babysitter's drunk: Three-year-old calls the cops after woman looking after him downs a bottle of wine  (news.stv.tv)	(20)

		About one million American homeowners would get writedowns in the size of their mortgages under a proposed deal with banks over shady foreclosure practices  (news.yahoo.com)	(72)
		The coolest video of a Japanese soccer player kicking a ball through a moving bus window you'll see all day  (youtube.com)	(9)
		Well, since Drew is greening everything, Here's SHADOWS OF DAWN. The trans-dimensional thrash masters of the multiverse  (youtube.com)	(2)
		Detroit "educators" double-down, say they have no problem using slavery to teach math. Followup tag leans on Fail tag's shoulder, weeps in despair  (upi.com)	(21)
		Starbucks messed up my order. So, in order to get around the mess that is my drink, I downed it. Now, I'm hyper. Help me. Please?  (fark.com)	(114)
		NJ Governor Chris Christie says that if the NY Giants win the Superbowl NJ should pay for them to parade around the Meadowlands parking lot in lieu of NYC paying for a parade down Broadway in Manhattan  (nypost.com)	(104)
		Tornadoes touchdown in Indiana, Kentucky, and Mississippi. Indianapolis spared as there hasn't been a touchdown there in months  (news.yahoo.com)	(20)
		So what are you going to do tomorrow, since all the good websites will be down for the day? And don't tell us you're actually going to work, 'cause we all know you won't  (fark.com)	(58)
		I confess, I've been ignoring this SOPA drama, and now I find myself confused. Can someone give me a breakdown on why Drew and Wiki are at odds over SOPA? Also, why should I care about SOPA? I just wanna fark THAT MAKES ALL OF US  (fark.com)	(151)

		Founder of Pinkberry approached by a homeless man with a sexually offensive tattoo. Does he (C) chase him down and beat him with a tire iron?  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(175)
		Software engineer, whose iPad was stolen uses iCloud to track down the device from the pictures taken by the thief  (metro.co.uk)	(49)
		Cambridge, England to crack down hard on boat rental companies due to aggressive rivalry in marketing Cam punts, risk of Spoonerisms  (bbc.co.uk)	(59)
		Russians officially convinced it was US radar that downed their Phobos Ground spacecraft  (english.pravda.ru)	(61)
		So, if I'm reading this correctly -- and I'm pretty sure that I am -- the best way to keep your out-of-pocket girlfriend expenses down is to make sure that there are lots of other girls around, too  (usatoday.com)	(27)
		Patsy Tombaugh, widow of Pluto's discoverer, dies at age 99. Private ceremony will be limited to inner circle of friends  (cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com)	(91)
		When you drop your keys down the stormwater drain just let them go because, man, they're gone  (nzherald.co.nz)	(20)

		Politician forced to resign after creating Downfall parody attacking opponent. Wait until Hitler hears about this  (guardian.co.uk)	(86)
(Some Guy)		Tampa Bay plans to take their time in hiring their head coach. Translation: "No one wants this POS job, for God's sake we couldn't convince Wade Phillips to come down here"  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(30)
		Man fighting with his wife throws cat at her. Wife ducks, cat sails out window, falling four stories and hitting neighbor on head, killing cat and leaving neighbor in critical condition. The Aristocats  (mirror.co.uk)	(164)

(Some Guy)		"8-Year-Old Boy Paralyzed By Bullet Not Slowing Down". Oh sure, blame the bullet  (chicago.cbslocal.com)	(78)
		Don't worry. We can probably guarantee the monkey with the human baby face won't be outside your window tonight, scratching to get in. Well maybe we can guarantee. Who are we kidding? He's out there now  (liveleak.com)	(21)

(Software Freedom Law Center)

Remember when Microsoft claimed that Windows 8 "secure boot" wouldn't be used to lock out other operating systems from being installed a couple of months ago?  (softwarefreedom.org)

(132)

		The breakdown of the budget for Star Wars in 1977. Inflation is a biatch  (io9.com)	(65)
		You can't win, Republicans. If you strike RON PAUL down, Libertarianism shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine  (buzzfeed.com)	(210)
		The Samsung Smart Window, another excuse to never leave your kitchen  (youtube.com)	(107)
		Force a government shut down again. C'mon, force a government shut down again. I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfarker. Force a government shut down one more goddamn time  (thehill.com)	(225)
		Bank robbers, car crashes, citizen delivering a smackdown, high school lockdown, highway closure, traffic nightmare, a robot and an explosion, or as it's called in San Jose, CA "Thursday"  (sfgate.com)	(24)

(Some Guy)		The Museum of Sex is seeking a hard working individual endowed with...hey THERE'S A MUSEUM OF SEX  (coroflot.com)	(100)
		Not news: Iraqi immigrants open restaurant in Mass. News: Vandal throws a rock through the window to drive them out. Hero: Veterans show solidarity by organizing a mass patronage of restaurant  (thinkprogress.org)	(83)
		Karen, take it easy... I love you. You know I love you. Be careful, baby. Don't. Just put it down. You're all I want, Karen. Please put the gun down  (washingtonpost.com)	(56)
		Drunk, high on meds and going 100 miles per hour the wrong way down the interstate is no way to go through l- holy crap, did she really do that? And she lived? Wow. At this point I'm just impressed  (cbsatlanta.com)	(111)
(LA Activist)		This may shock some of you so make sure you're sitting down: A politician lied  (laactivist.com)	(40)
		Heat loses back-to-back OT games. James not a factor down the stretch in either game  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(67)
		In this week's enthralling episode of "Muslim in 'Merika," we meet a Connecticut college student hunted down by the FBI after her school reported her as a terrorist for making a sexual harassment claim  (hosted.ap.org)	(122)

		New Orleans elementary school on lockdown after gunman enters building to hide from police  (nola.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)		12 things that will actually go down in price this year  (dealnews.com)	(80)
		North Korea rejects "we'll give you food if you don't make nukes" offer, thus marking the first time Kim Jong-un ever turned down an offer of food  (hosted.ap.org)	(98)

		I'm not saying Iran brought down the American RQ-170 spy drone with flying saucers and force fields... but it was flying saucers and force fields  (wired.com)	(87)
		Hey, GI Joe: Where you goin' with that gun in your hand? I'm goin' down to ol' Somalia, to join al-Shabab and defend Islam  (washingtonpost.com)	(54)
		While you're out there scraping to make ends meet so you can pay your mortgage, Tiger Woods' ex is building the same $12 million house she just knocked down  (gawker.com)	(124)
		Feds take down white supremacist twin brothers who fell under the spell of a comely informant with a grenade dangling between her breasts   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(88)
		"But since then, [The Heritage Foundation] has come a long way in defense policy analysis, all of it downward." OH SNAP  (battleland.blogs.time.com)	(80)
		Kinect coming to Windows PCs, may revolutionize gaming, the Boobies tag  (news.yahoo.com)	(63)
		Interest, and participation in CES 2012 is sharply down on news that everything useful has already been invented  (washingtonpost.com)	(25)
(Some Guy)		The king of beers downgraded to prince of beers after 20 years on the throne  (chicagobusiness.com)	(40)
		WD-40 profits slide down effortlessly  (news.yahoo.com)	(19)

		Tonight ESPN brings you the rematch of the century. Will a touchdown be scored? Will the honeybadger get a cooler nickname? Will the Tide win the undisputed national championship by going 1-1? SEC SEC SEC  (espn.go.com)	(lots)
		"You know, something may be going down tonight, but it ain't going to be jobs, sweetheart." -Gov. Chris Christie to your mom  (slate.com)	(294)
		Walgreen's opening up a new flagship store in downtown Chicago. It will feature all the things customers expect from Walgreen's, including a sushi bar, humidor, and manicurist. Wait...what?  (chicagotribune.com)	(37)
		Problem: You want to burn all your love letters to your ex. Difficulty: They're all in email form. Solution: SHUT DOWN NEIGHBORHOOD  (thedenverchannel.com)	(46)
		Regis revenue down 2%, while Kelly's revenue plummets on the realization she can't carry the show  (marketwatch.com)	(5)
		Lion and three-year-old girl get into staredown at zoo enclosure, with surprising results  (stuff.co.nz)	(68)
		Microsoft: we didn't really want Windows Phone to be all that popular, anyway  (arstechnica.com)	(55)

(ExtremeTech)		What happens if Facebook shuts down? For one thing, you'd have to get poked elsewhere  (extremetech.com)	(65)
		Health official complains about a school program that gives free breakfasts to poor students because she says it makes them obese. Because nothing slims a kid down like starvation  (nypost.com)	(144)
		For 2012, New York City resolves to attract over 50 million tourists to exploit, complain about and look down upon  (usatoday.com)	(143)
		Will the Last Manning Standing lead the Giants to victory over the Falcons? Will Tebow's favorite deity give him the power to take down the Steelers? It's the NFL Wildcard Weekend: Day 2 thread (games at 1 PM on Fox, 4:30 on CBS)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(4568)
(NME)		Woman claims Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails music told her her parents wanted to kill her and she needed to burn her parents' house down to survive. What, is this 1996 again?  (nme.com)	(91)
		How well received is the new Windows phone OS? Apple hipsters are actually BUYING them  (nytimes.com)	(82)
		Moody's downgrades Illinois from Bears to Cubs  (upi.com)	(33)

		Bowling great Don Carter has knocked down his last pin  (sfgate.com)	(14)
		Tim Burton wants Robert Downey, Jr to play Geppetto in a live action Pinocchio movie. I've got wood  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(32)
		Christine rolls through car-park, across the road, down the driveway, under the roller door, and parks perfectly inside a garage. Ta-da  (news.com.au)	(32)

(Some Guy)		Gregg Doyel thinks trick plays in football are cool, except when they aren't. Then they are "weenie" touchdowns and they are leading to the downfall of America or something  (cbssports.com)	(60)
		Archaeologists have discovered that the people of Pompeii were slobby and crude. Trash was found inside tombs as well as graffiti of the 'bathroom' variety. "Cleopatra goes down"  (news.yahoo.com)	(71)
		It was a concrete bunker in the middle of Trenton, New Jersey. It was in a downtrodden area, and it was filthy and the most dangerous venue to visit. And if you got in--you were lucky  (youtube.com)	(22)
		Way to kick a company while it's down, Time Warner  (wired.com)	(55)

		This girl has steel balls: She snuck into a Russian military rocket factory, took amazing photos and then gave authorities the finger when they asked her to take them down  (gizmodo.com)	(59)
		And if elected to office as one of the country's youngest public officials, I pledge to throw a brick through my ex-girlfriend's window and slip out of handcuffs during an alcohol-related arrest  (myfoxdc.com)	(63)
(Some Guy)		Walking upside down under arctic ice  (bostinno.com)	(28)
		"Angry Birds" downloaded 6.5 million times on Christmas Day. In related news, 6.5 million belated Christmas gifts to be mailed this week  (content.usatoday.com)	(63)
		Police speculate vehicle may have been traveling over the posted speed limit of 30 miles per hour, planning a complete investigation once they get the car down from the house roof it ended up on  (jalopnik.com)	(11)
(Some Guy)		So, what's it like when your ambulance breaks down in Detroit late on New Year's Eve? Let's go to the video  (myfoxdetroit.com)	(72)

		A recently widowed teen mom shot and killed a burglar to protect her 3-month-old son on New Year's Eve after asking the 911 operator for permission to fire  (nydailynews.com)	(746)
		Holders Real Madrid scored three times in 10 minutes to fight back Malaga 3-2 in their King's Cup last 16 first leg, sparked by a furious dressing down from Jose Mourinho  (eitb.com)	(12)

Did you know that the Loch Ness surface goes up and down by just 1.5mm when the monster gets out to towel off?  (bbc.co.uk)

(35)

		Rachel Maddow (with a straight face): "there may be liberals on TV at MSNBC, but the network is not operating with a political objective"  (newsbusters.org)	(308)
		Can Cahill make the difference for Chelsea? Can Henry make it for Arsenal? Will RvP break Henry's record? All this plus bonus transfer window goodness in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk)	(265)

		Packers QB sets team record for touchdowns in a game. No, not that one, the other one  (scores.espn.go.com)	(287)
(Some Neutral Party)		Fifty years ago today, the Beatles auditioned for Decca Records--and were turned down. Flame on  (rockabillynblues.blogspot.com)	(82)
(Powerline)		Rachel Maddow has top show on cable TV. Wait, did I say cable TV? I meant on MSNBC. Because Fox News has 13 shows more popular that hers  (powerlineblog.com)	(133)
		Officials believe the seismic activity in Ohio may have been triggered by man made interference. No, not your mom falling down, but that was my first thought too  (usatoday.com)	(76)

(Some Guy)		Key West -- which writers Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, Robert Frost, Judy Blume, Robert Stone, Jim Harrison, Maria Bishop, Mark Childress and others have called home -- is down to one bookstore. Sad easily trumps Florida  (keysnet.com)	(142)
		Put down that third doughnut and read the five reasons your New Year's resolutions will fail  (cracked.com)	(51)
		Scientists downgrade threat from Cleveland Volcano, refuse to do the same for Cleveland, Ohio  (washingtonpost.com)	(26)

		Drivin' down your freeways / Midnight alleys roam / 19 cars, set on fire / Never saw the arson / So alone, so alone  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(27)
		Quick thinking cashier chases down shoplifter while dressed as a giant fruit  (dailymail.co.uk)	(25)
(Some Guy Some Guy)		Man who ran his twin down in a car sentenced to 40 years, having sinister goatee shaven off  (missoulian.com)	(34)
		Hiker and his dog rescued from California cliff after he slid down to get his dog when the dog went over the edge first. Hero tag is for all involved except the father who threw the bottle that the dog went over for  (nypost.com)	(41)
		Parents of the year duct tape infant and toddler, hang one upside down on exercise equipment and of course they captured the moment forever by posting pictures on facebook  (foxnews.com)	(46)
		If you're watching Netflix on your Xoom because the PlayStation Network and your BlackBerry are both down again, you'll love this article  (cnn.com)	(19)
		A cry of noooooooooooo was heard throughout the net after 600 pound woman shuts down her website where people paid $19 a month to watch her eat because now she wants to lose weight  (msnbc.msn.com)	(95)

(Some Guy)		Rather than let his mother, wife or daughter move in, man burns down his house. Hero or crazy? You be the judge  (tampa.cbslocal.com)	(68)
		Sometimes the headlines write themselves:"Lady Gaga to count down to 2012 with ball-drop". Like we didn't see that coming  (tv.msn.com)	(32)
		Yelp reviews for McDowell's restaurant. "The bathroom was covered in some sort of hair gel"  (buzzfeed.com)	(39)
		A One-Horse Town Down to Two People: Messex, Colorado, has been largely abandoned, and its only residents like it that way; 'We Get Along OK'  (finance.yahoo.com)	(56)
		The biggest space discoveries of the year, broken down month-by-month  (theweek.com)	(4)
		Good news, Americans. CNN has finally aired a segment explaining why those durn Straights of Whoremoose are so important and why you should care if them durn al queda or whoever close it down  (cnn.com)	(22)
		Neat freak fulfills his dream of opening $6M 'Museum of Clean' (complete with interactive exhibits on window washing and bed making)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(31)

		Townspeople cut down trees in order to save local environment  (pennlive.com)	(49)
		"If you could choose anyone to host a New Year's Eve special, who would it be? Would you go the obvious route and pick Alison Brie? Would you reunite the casts of Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Party Down to do the honors?"  (warmingglow.uproxx.com)	(113)
		Remember how Lindsay Lohan said she was turning down offers to host New Year's Eve parties and attempting to avoid dangerously high BAC levels? Yeah, about that  (thesuperficial.com)	(46)
		The more Tebow is hyped up, the more my system attempts to shut down and stop breathing like some bitter ex-girlfriend just hauled off and kicked me square in the nut sac  (sportsclimax.com)	(61)

		Turns out the US House of Representatives likes to use the series of tubes to get their hands on illegal copies of self-help books and...uh...let's say "adult themed self-help videos". Download as I say, not as I download  (boingboing.net)	(65)
		Lindsay Lohan shoots up big paydays for New Year's Eve. I'm sorry, "shoots down." Lindsay Lohan shoots down big paydays for New Year's Eve. Honest mistake  (tmz.com)	(24)
		Joe Bodolai, come on down, you're the next contestant on "Saturday Night Live Curse"  (tmz.com)	(59)
		Who needs SOPA when you have GoDaddy's shutdown policy?  (boingboing.net)	(52)

(Springfield Republican)		Compact fluorescent lamps could burn your house down (but probably won't)  (masslive.com)	(159)
(Some Guy)		Kids are getting smartererer: the percentage in England who think we celebrate Obama's birthday on December 25th is down to 9%  (3am.co.uk)	(72)

		Overturned ice cream truck closes down Interstate 69. I guess you could say this ice cream spill made for a *puts on sunglasses* Rocky Road. YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH   (seattlepi.com)	(32)
		If your doctor has you hold the IV bag, smokes a cigar during your procedure, and flushes your fat down the toilet, he may not be legit  (nbcbayarea.com)	(25)

		Citizens of Coralville, Iowa outraged that Old Country Buffet shut down without notice. "There are no buffets left in town. What will we do?"  (press-citizen.com)	(77)
		In the worst tragedy on American soil since 9/11, vegetarian's life completely ruined because some stoned teenage windowlicker wouldn't make her a veggie sub. 10 years from now, we'll all remember where we were when we read this  (consumerist.com)	(192)
		From the "adding insult to injury" files: boy is run down by SUV, then ticketed for walking on the wrong side of the street  (upi.com)	(84)
(Some Guy)		Grandparents kicked out of the mall for A.) Racing up the down escalator b.) Using the Macy's intercom to announce a 50% store wide discount for the next 30 minutes C.) Taking a picture of their 5 year old grandson  (wndu.com)	(165)

		Studies confirm that the man tweeting next to you as the plane rolls down the runway would rather all of you die in a fiery crash than have the world be denied even 5 minutes of his 140-character wit  (travel.usatoday.com)	(235)
		Julianne Moore gives the best impersonation of Sarah Palin by an actress from 30 Rock since Tina Fey. Hands down  (shortlist.com)	(103)
		A typical game for a soccer goalkeeper: stand around, stand around, stand around, kick ball down field, stand around, stand around, kick hooligan, stan... wait, what?  (telegraph.co.uk)	(67)

		Hungary downgraded to starving  (bloomberg.com)	(50)
		Candy store Sugar & Plumm Purveyors of Yumm learns the hard way the Upper West Side doesn't like cute store names, bright layouts, or fun. "The whole thing needs toned down. The coolest places in New York have no signs"  (nymag.com)	(163)
		Woman spends last five months of pregnancy upside down to keep baby from falling out  (thesun.co.uk)	(130)
		From the makers of the $235,000 Jeep SRT8 comes the car that make a Bugatti back down. Hennessey thy name is awesome insanity  (jalopnik.com)	(26)
		Massachusetts will let you buy lottery tickets with food stamps unless you get one of those downer clerks who insists on enforcing the rules  (bostonherald.com)	(71)
		"This American Life" helps take down a Georgia drug court Judge  (nytimes.com)	(277)
		Blackberry maker Research in Motion (RIM) turned down a sale to Amazon this past summer, saying they can fix their own problems. Stock price 1 yr ago: $60 -- this summer: $30 -- today: $12  (pcmag.com)	(59)

(Some Goal)		Almost 20,000 Premier League goals have been scored, and here's an infographic breakdown of who's scored them and where they've been scored  (imgur.com)	(34)
		YouHaveDownloaded.com outs its first major offender: The RIAA  (gizmodo.com)	(144)
(wpbf.com)		Every item in a Florida Macys was marked down to $5 thanks to two now former employees  (wpbf.com)	(55)
		Button-down high school with a reputation as being too serious decides to cut loose and not be lame, succeeds in a bunch of normal high school pranks that make it look like it's trying too hard. Lame  (ajc.com)	(16)
		Oh, yeah. I'd like to see him do that one hand... Well I'd like to see him do that on his hea... on a unicycle then? Upside down... fark  (wimp.com)	(20)

(Some Guy)		Outgoing Congressman Barney Frank (D-Cups) dresses down for his final days of work  (t.co)	(142)
		There's a lot you don't know about Rick Santorum. So come on, let's wipe away the misconceptions, wade through all the froth, and get right down to the bottom of this man  (npr.org)	(133)
(Some Angry McTeacher)		Best video you'll see all day of a teacher going nuts, throwing all of her food back in the window after not getting the right order at McDonalds. With mug shot goodness  (wtsp.com)	(281)
		Gold could hit $2,500 by next year, according to an angry little cowboy who started jumping up and down and firing his gun into the air upon hearing the news  (cnbc.com)	(8)

(Digital Theatre)		Couldn't make it to London this past summer? Doctor Who's David Tennant and Catherine Tate in the west-end production of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing is now available as a legit digital download  (digitaltheatre.com)	(45)
		Ratings agency Fitch downgrades outlook of France's economy to "merde"  (bbc.co.uk)	(17)
		Will Spurs bounce back after getting jobbed by the Potters? Are Chelsea finally getting their groove on? Can the transfer window open soon enough for a crocked United? All this plus a huge City v Arsenal match in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk)	(223)

The same laws of motion that govern spitting out the car window while driving apply to throwing pot out the car window while the cops are chasing you (w/ pic)  (beatcalls.com)

(53)

		Eight of the world's largest banks downgraded from super giant to piggy  (edition.cnn.com)	(15)
		If you bought a 3DS before Nintendo cut the price by $80 a few months ago, don't fret. Today you can download 10 games from a 16-bit system made a decade ago  (aggrogate.com)	(70)
		Today's knock-down, drag-out hockey brawl brought to you by two Kazakhstan teams ... of nine-year-olds  (youtube.com)	(51)
		FDA trying to stop do-it-yourself sperm donor in California. Suspects narrowed down to every teenage boy in the state  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com)	(38)

(Some Guy)		Microsoft: Alright, look we tried to be nice and give you little hints, but you're going to stop using IE6 even if we have to come down there and break your knee caps  (winsupersite.com)	(84)
		Is the government lying to us about the economy? Unemployment is down (because people stopped looking for work) and consumer spending is slightly off (because people are living out of their cars)  (marketwatch.com)	(71)
		If you suspect a neighborhood kid of stealing from your vehicle, a sure-fire way of getting the cops' interest is to chase the kid into his own home, kick down the front door, and then wave around a stolen shotgun at everyone  (wwl.com)	(19)
		Single bottle of whisky sells for record $70,000. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my cellar  (shortlist.com)	(81)
		Not news: Girl writes letter to Santa. Fark: Spoiled rotten snowbrat writes a letter to Santa telling him that she'll hunt down & cook his reindeer if she doesn't get at least two of the lavish gifts she's demanding  (dailymail.co.uk)	(127)

		Naked from the waist down, urinating, defecating, and peeking in windows is no way to go through a hotel's parking lot... Officer  (news.cincinnati.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)		For the latest round of "Real Story or Syfy Channel Movie?" we have black widow spiders infesting a navy warship  (connecticut.cbslocal.com)	(63)
		'Government shutdown 2 - shutdown harder'. Starring Harry Reid and Mitch "Turtle" McConnell   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(120)
		Why toast always lands buttered-side down. Behold the Law of Toast  (io9.com)	(83)
		'SNL' star Abby Elliott strips down and gushes about girl crus...Hey, get back here  (nydailynews.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		Nightmare fuel: Dial-up modem sound slowed down 700%. Not safe for bed time  (laughingsquid.com)	(75)
		Mall security guard finds envelope containing $300 in Christmas money and note with kids' clothing sizes, goes all CSI and tracks down grateful and dumbfounded owner using only the note and security camera footage  (helenair.com)	(76)
		Meet the 22-year-old who's turning the GOP race upside down from his couch  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(84)

		Why will it take until December 2012 to get TV commercials to turn the volume down?  (wlsam.com)	(170)
(Market Place)		The smog is so thick in Beijing that it's been shutting down air travel due to poor visibility. But according to the Chinese government, it's not pollution, but "bad weather"  (marketplace.org)	(125)
		United States servicemen will sally down to the Seychelles seashore to secure a slightly smashed drone  (security.blogs.cnn.com)	(69)
		New site knows that you've been illegally downloading Justin Bieber mp3s  (msnbc.msn.com)	(115)
		If you're having a bad day and this video of dogs hanging out of car windows doesn't brighten it, then you should probably go find a urinal to drown yourself in immediately  (uproxx.com)	(43)
		Iran says it can control downed American drone, bringing the grand total of countries able to do so to one  (cnn.com)	(187)
		Herman Cain's downfall is the result of a culture whose morals have gone down the drain after the liberal sexual revolution. The takeaway here, obviously, is that husbands should not allow their wives to have any contact with other men  (nationalreview.com)	(192)
		This year's Christmas must-have gift for kids: Spinning Tops. Next thing you know, those little whippersnappers will be pushing steel hoops down the pathway with a stick. Now excuse me while I go get some fresh onions for my belt  (npr.org)	(73)

		New Jersey Nets owner to run against Pooty-Poot for Russian Presidency. Expected to come down with a sudden case of Outspokeness with a side order of Polonium  (marketwatch.com)	(35)
		Iranians becoming more like Americans every day; they're threatening to sue the US over the drone that went down in their territory  (bbc.co.uk)	(101)
		Anti-gay Alabama GOPer gets it up for lesbians down under   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(94)

		"I will just have to crawl into bed with the covers over me and stay there," said Power, a widow who worked as a cashier and waitress until she was 80. "I will do what I have to do"  (boston.com)	(316)
		Before you start tearing down the walls of your home because you hear your girlfriend calling for help behind one, first make sure she's not actually vacationing in Texas  (sltrib.com)	(33)

(redding.com)		Man rams one car into an apartment, then rams another car into his girlfriend's apartment, kicks down the door and, sheriff says, "this is where it gets kind of weird, he takes off all his clothes and starts jumping on cars"  (redding.com)	(32)
		Tonight at 8PM, the remaining GOP candidates square off for a debate in Des Moines, Iowa in an attempt to be the last seated when the music stops. Here's a handy rundown of the hopefuls, from RON PAUL to the corndog lady  (caucuses.desmoinesregister.com)	(882)
		Reports are that 4 children were gunned down on Syrian streets. Hold on Tom, we're getting word that Angelina Jolie and her father, Jon Voight have now reconciled before the world's media  (telegraph.co.uk)	(46)
		Photoshop this sledder sledding down artificial snow at SnowFest in Straub Park, St. Petersburg  (msnbcmedia.msn.com)	(32)

		Sleep easy tonight, Florida. Instead of catching murderers the police are cracking down on pizza flyer deliveries  (orlandosentinel.com)	(39)
		Experts warn against eating raw cookie dough, will have houses burned down by Subby  (cbc.ca)	(151)
		Siemens downgraded to wet spot  (marketwatch.com)	(8)
		Texas Instruments revenue falls, discovers it's tough to be in the computer business when the chips are down  (bloomberg.com)	(9)
		It's that time of year again: Man burns down house trying to melt ice with blowtorch  (denverpost.com)	(45)
(Therepublic.com)		Teacher strips and hoses down pre-kindergarten student outside of school for soiling his pants. Some people have a problem with this  (therepublic.com)	(106)
(Some Drunk Girl)		Perhaps the anti-drinking PSA with the drunk girl pulling her panties down wasn't such a great idea  (wtsp.com)	(290)
		"Garfield shooting the Amazing Spider-Man." STAY DOWN SPIDEY, HE HATES MONDAYS  (denofgeek.com)	(18)
		Monster.com needs to send its resume to another index, as it's been downsized from the S&P 500  (cbsnews.com)	(32)
		S&P's chief credit officer downgraded from "employed" to "fired". This leaves him at "junk" status and available for assignment to the Chicago Cubs  (bloomberg.com)	(7)

		Britain battered by gale-force winds, causing 100-meter-tall wind turbine in Scotland to catch fire. With if-it-wasn't-£2 million-down-the-drain that-would-be-cool pic  (telegraph.co.uk)	(79)
		Iran releases video footage of downed RQ-170 drone. How'd they photoshop that?  (nytimes.com)	(361)
		I don't know about you, but if I get shot by my mom I'm not gonna be posting "ahhhhhhhh" on Facebook, and I sure as heck stop typing when the tear gas comes through the window  (gma.yahoo.com)	(111)
		Rachel Maddow tears Obama a new one over Prolonged Detention  (youtube.com)	(156)

		Do scroll down for the Dalek in the Slanket  (dailymail.co.uk)	(24)
		Federal Aviation Administrator chief Randy Babbitt downgraded from FAA to AA  (sltrib.com)	(19)
		Windows 8 = Windows Vista 2.0  (news.cnet.com)	(187)

(doctorwhonews)		Doctor Who's one-minute prequel to The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe is a tad surprising  (doctorwhonews.net)	(93)
(Pitchfork)		In what will undoubtedly go down in history as the first time Fark defends hipsters, Bon Iver attacked for endorsing alcohol  (pitchfork.com)	(88)
		Donald Trump finds no proof Obama's mother was even in the hospital in Hawaii, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Obama has to walk down K Street wearing a T-shirt with "FART" written in big letters on it  (wnd.com)	(181)
		Oil prices down on news that Europeans might not have a currency to buy any  (upi.com)	(15)
		Rita Hayworth's grandson found dead in apparent suicide. It came down to a simple choice really. Get busy living or get busy dying  (dailymail.co.uk)	(47)

		S&P likely to put nearly the entire EU on warning for a credit downgrade. This is bad news for...nah, we're all farked now  (cnbc.com)	(95)
		Nancy Pelosi is downright giddy that Newt is surging in the polls. Why? Well, she served on the ethics committee that investigated a younger, more attractive Newt back in the day and has "a thousand pages" of dirt on him  (slatest.slate.com)	(264)

		If you grow anything with hydroponics in Florida the police will automatically assume you are growing pot and come kick down your door without a warrant  (tampabay.com)	(166)
		Queen's income down from $120m to $59m a year. Obviously it's because of the new singer  (telegraph.co.uk)	(42)
		Not only did RON PAUL decline to participate in Trump's upcoming derp-a-fest; he also laid some serious smack-down  (politico.com)	(188)
		Police report says a man charged with assault walked up to a woman in a bar and "kissed her and put his tongue down her throat against her will." I'm sure the plan sounded much more smooth and sexy in his head beforehand  (nwfdailynews.com)	(41)

(Some Guy)		63 Percent of Illegal Aliens have Resided in the U.S. 10 Years or More. The illegals don't need to be "brought out of the shadows" because they live and work openly  (pewhispanic.org)	(161)
		The Ultimate Fighter 14 Finale Discussion - Live on Spike -- Can Mayhem Miller make good on his threat to give Bisping a "bully beatdown," or will the British bad boy send him back to MTV?  (usatoday.com)	(290)
		Can the Toon stick a fork in Chelsea's season, or does AVB have what it takes to right the Chelsea ship? Are Spurs ready to make a run at the title? All this plus a guaranteed Fergie meltdown at a linesman in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk)	(193)

		10 changes that might benefit WWE superstar Daniel Bryan. Conspicuously missing from the list is the return of "The Final Countdown" as his entrance theme  (bleacherreport.com)	(58)
		Minecraft creator steps down as lead designer, fans weep blocky tears of sadness  (g4tv.com)	(45)
		You can break into my home and destroy my staircase railings, rip down my storm shutters, and punch holes in my walls, and I'm okay with that. But the minute you pour BBQ sauce on my floors, then it gets personal  (nwfdailynews.com)	(12)
		Police say they've shut down a magic mushroom grow-op based on the cash, spores, mason jars, flying monkeys, talking grandfather clocks, giant bejeweled eels, answers to the Ancients' riddles, and cosmic waterfalls they confiscated  (courant.com)	(37)
(The Register)		S'pht S'pht'kr Thoth Phor...no that's not the sound of a dial up modem. Durandal, Tycho and Leela are now all 'stable' and available for download  (reghardware.com)	(26)
(Some Guy)		$20,000 of donated toys stolen from childrens hospital. Suspect described as 4'6 green male with a heart 2 sizes too small, last seen sitting in the window seat on the train to hell  (abc15.com)	(24)
(Some WV Guy)		Never tap on the drivers window of a Brinks armored truck looking for a job  (wvgazette.com)	(52)

(WXII)		Man dies after falling from back of pickup while trying to hold down mattress. That's what happens when you get out of the wrong side of the bed  (wxii12.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)		Are you sitting down? Now, I don't want to alarm anyone, but it turns out that abstinence-only education leads to higher teen pregnancy rates  (eurekalert.org)	(191)
		Ohio cracking down on lions, tigers, bears. Oh my  (toledoblade.com)	(13)
		College student who recognizes her friend, an attempted cop killer, in wanted poster does the obvious thing: "Freaks out" and tears down the posters  (thesmokinggun.com)	(38)
		Cain: The Democrats might be trying to take me down because I'm their worst nightmare and they'd rather face Gingrich  (hotair.com)	(88)
(woai.com)		Refinery downgraded to rehorriblery after explosion  (woai.com)	(12)
		Michigan State cheerleader falls, breaks face, lies motionless on the floor. Then the PA system starts playing "The Final Countdown"  (deadspin.com)	(65)
		"You go down there and get him." "No, you go down there and get him"  (myfoxdc.com)	(21)
		PROTIP: Raise your nostalgia glasses and have a moment of silence for GamePro, which is shutting down  (aggrogate.com)	(57)

		In case you were wondering what 2,500 wheels of goat cheese look like rolling down a mountain in Skyrim, here you go  (youtube.com)	(168)
		Dow finishes up nearly 500 points on word that the Bush recovery is finally picking up steam  (money.cnn.com)	(240)
		IPv6 support up 1900%. Subby's success with ladies down 2000%  (govtech.com)	(24)
(Some Guy)		Burrito results in lock-down of prison. In 2005, in Clovis, NM, a burrito resulted in lock-down of a school. The burritos must be stopped  (lcsun-news.com)	(38)
(Politiken)		Doctors: Okay, let's put the NATO Secretary General here to heal his broken arm. Patient: But what about me and my incurable cancer? Doctors: How about a nice windowless office?  (politiken.dk)	(57)
		S&P: Downgrade ALL the banks  (cbsnews.com)	(60)
		Due to the national economic downturn, NYC upgrades critical, deteriorated, substandard highway in danger of collapse to safe and reliable  (nypost.com)	(39)
(Some 99%)		Strap on your helmets, LA Farkers. Occupy LA is getting shut down  (abclocal.go.com)	(537)

		So if you're not supposed to use your squirt bottle of urine to hose down bus drivers before you punch them out, just what are you supposed to use your squirt bottle of urine for?  (nj.com)	(56)
		Can a steel cage contain Mizark's hatred of peas? Will Randy Orton do to Cody Rhodes' bag the same thing he did to Mickie James's? Will Santa Foley have a Socko Elf? It's WWE Smackdown, live at 8 PM ET on SyFy  (bleacherreport.com)	(1349)
		British coastguard alert ships in Bristol Channel to avoid a two-door compact car last seen bobbing up and down off the pier at Mumbles. Alert cancelled this morning when car discovered washed up on beach at nearby Raised-Eyebrows-on-Sea  (bbc.co.uk)	(31)
		Carribean pr0n producer seeks legal action over illegal downloads in Detroit. Subby suddenly has idea for the best 'RoboCop' pr0n parody ever  (detnews.com)	(24)
		AOL has no plans to go down with Yahoo's ship, will remain independent until going out of business next week  (chicagotribune.com)	(19)
		If you want to stop cars from speeding down your street, should you A: Install speed bumps? B: Erect speed limit signs? or C: Throw bricks through car's windows as they drive by?  (tampabay.com)	(87)

(Some Guy)		With Raw and Smackdown both live this week, will fireworks fly when John Cena enters Pipers Pit? Can Daniel Bryan win the gold from Mark Henry? Does Cole like twitter? Come on in and join the FWC discussion  (wwe.com)	(1279)
(Some Guy)		The first operating U.S. nuclear plant shut down because of an earthquake has reopened to glowing reviews  (wtkr.com)	(40)
		Obama campaign strategery to focus on the downtrodden who think that government will help them and the intellecutal elite who think government can help   (campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com)	(183)
		Surname hyphenation, TNG: Some parents are realizing that there may be down-sides to saddling their new tyke with a name like "Joey Wilde-Cunningham-Lindquist"   (nytimes.com)	(295)
		A huge list of deals for Cyber Monday shoppers. Of course, you could go down to Walmart and get pepper sprayed by a 400-pound woman wearing a Flavor-Aid stained tube top again. Your call  (gizmodo.com)	(127)
		Hershey Medical Center finds virus that sends cancer down the highway  (pennlive.com)	(61)
		Columnist: "The 20-day MN State shutdown showed us that 19k government workers are useless and should be fired"  (twincities.com)	(141)
		Moody's threatens to downgrade every country in the Euro Zone. Every country? EVERYONEEEEEE  (bloomberg.com)	(76)

		Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to smashed car windows in the Toys R Us parking lot  (capecodonline.com)	(35)
		Countdown begins for the annual burning of the Swedish Christmas Goat  (thelocal.se)	(34)
		Down goes #1 UNC to the Runnin' Rebels. Jerry Tarkanian sucking on smiley towel  (scores.espn.go.com)	(19)
		Man dies after getting stuck in window. He was racked with pane  (upi.com)	(30)
(Barrons)		Down 79% from their July high, Netflix shares might be worth purchasing. While we're at it, would you be interested in buying a bridge?  (online.barrons.com)	(77)
		After 48 years, controversial hit still causes two CFL legends to throw down in what will no doubt be the highlight of Grey Cup weekend  (youtube.com)	(85)

		Former heavyweight contender Ron Lyle goes down for the count at 70  (sfgate.com)	(6)
		Is this euro's final countdown?  (economist.com)	(125)
		Ann Coulter says that the protests should be shut down by shooting the protesters like they did at Kent State. Let's show those dirty hippies we mean business  (mediamatters.org)	(500)

		Police depts aren't interested in solving violent crimes. There's no money to be made. But shaking down people on the street for a joint in their pocket brings dividends  (huffingtonpost.com)	(115)
(Some NERD)		The most awesome spoilers ever have led us to this: the post-Thanksgiving Smackdown thread (8 PM Eastern on SyFy)  (wrestling.insidepulse.com)	(221)
		Hungary downgraded to anorexic  (bloomberg.com)	(6)
		Marketing geniuses at Qantas launch slogan contest on Twitter one day after labor talks break down. Hilarity ensues  (bbc.co.uk)	(17)
		Historian Douglas Brinkley issues a verbal beatdown to uppity Congressman. Now with "shocked and awed" aide photo goodness  (nbcpolitics.msnbc.msn.com)	(215)

		The Buffalo Sabres exact revenge on Milan Lucic for "running" Ryan Miller. Just kidding, Paul Gaustad was sent out to fight Lucic and got beaten down. Bruins win 10th straight  (sports.espn.go.com)	(72)
		59 year old woman chases down 29 year old purse thief. Adding insult to injury: he was on a bike  (komonews.com)	(16)
		Moody's threatens to downgrade America's credit rating. American threatens to downgrade Moody's to "smoldering pile of rubble"  (businessweek.com)	(52)
		Sienna Miller: "I would often find myself, at the age of 21, at midnight, running down a dark street on my own with 10 men chasing me. And the fact they had cameras in their hands made that legal"  (cbsnews.com)	(92)
		AT&T pays their bookie $4 billion for losing a bet that they could force the T-Mobile buyout down America's throat. Score one for the little guy  (bloomberg.com)	(24)
		Brian Eno composed Windows 95 chime on a Mac. Basically no need to click the link, that's the story. Okay bye-bye  (shortlist.com)	(87)

		To get 55 mpg you'll have to give up power windows, heated seats, DVD entertainment, and AC that could freeze the Sahara. But on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness  (npr.org)	(216)
		Landscapers chop down tree at church, find shape of cross throughout trunk. Says one, "It's God and mother nature working together." (w/ pic)  (ktla.com)	(156)
		105 lb. competitive eater gobbles down almost entire turkey in 10 minutes. Never stops to pass the gravy  (nydailynews.com)	(56)
		TiVo earnings get a thumbs-down. Bong  (finance.yahoo.com)	(28)
		Not news: Homeless man breaks into luxury townhouse in downtown Chicago, puts on homeowner's clothes, defrosts his lobster. News: It was White Sox GM Kenny Williams' house, and the guy was arrested wearing his 2005 WS ring  (suntimes.com)	(27)

		Spanish King suffers black eye, bruised nose after 'walking into a door'; elsewhere in Spain, domestic violence is down  (eitb.com)	(23)
		The Tournament of Muppets is down to the final two candidates and voting is now open to the public. Don't let Gonzo down  (nationalpost.com)	(58)
		Hewlett-Packard profits down 91%. Company tries desperately to reboot earnings, investors look to cache in their chips  (mercurynews.com)	(37)
		12,000 feral cats are roaming the streets of one LA neighborhood, alarming residents, "I can hear them right outside my window when they're fighting and mating." And just in time for the Catpocalypse  (latimes.com)	(68)
(Some Guy)		When is a touchdown not a touchdown? When you have posession of the ball in the endzone and you're the Bengals  (nfl.com)	(127)
		Just when you thought that having your house burn down was the worst thing that could happen, thieves rummage through the remains and steal your parents' ashes  (cbc.ca)	(26)

		All Day gets All Done, Jay Cutler cut down, Victor Cruz cruises. It's YOUR Monday (fantasy) football thread  (sports.espn.go.com)	(107)
		Windows 95 lawsuit going to trial. Moses, King Tut, Julius Caesar and other Windows 95 users expected to be called as witnesses  (usatoday.com)	(159)
		MFers Down Under to FOAD after proclaiming "That's not a loss, THIS is a loss"  (news.com.au)	(1)
		David Hasselhoff strips down to underwear before singing at AMA show. No word of if cheeseburgers were served afterwards. With pics of singers you've never heard of and whatever a Beiber is  (dailymail.co.uk)	(26)

		With the Chase down to two drivers - Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart - loyalties could determine the 2011 Cup champion. It's the Ford 400 from sunny Homestead-Miami Speedway, 3:30 ET, ABC  (sports.yahoo.com)	(361)
		Sun goes up. Sun goes down. Sun goes up. Sun goes down... but when, exactly?  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(52)

		This is why you never perform Men at Work's "Down Under" in an Australian karaoke bar  (news.com.au)	(106)
(Some Guy)		Well, let's just scroll down and meet the staff of Aquinas High School...GAH  (aquinashigh.org)	(291)
		World's oldest dad: "I'm up, down, up, down, through the night. I don't stop. She loves it" (w/pic of happy family)  (nla.thesun.co.uk)	(51)

		When tied down and faced with a lap dance from Britney Spears, you do what you have to do to survive  (starpulse.com)	(73)
(Some Guy)		New Axe commercial features models dressed as angels falling from the sky, tearing off their halos and chasing after a guy walking down the street. Who could possibly have a problem with this? Oh wait  (fashionetc.com)	(189)
		Want slowdown and deliberate destruction of America from within? We've got an app for that  (idealab.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(18)
		Skateboarding down a bobsled run at 50mph is some cool running (w/video)  (gizmodo.com)	(24)

		San Francisco's iconic neon Yahoo to come down. Don't bother searching for it  (boingboing.net)	(21)
		WorldNutDaily columnist advocates the use of flamethrowers to put down Occupy protesters. Because it went so well when Libya did that  (mediamatters.org)	(72)
		Pelosi turns down Perry's debate request because she will be in Portland, visiting labs and "I can't remember what the third thing is I'm going to be doing"   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(126)
(asahi.com)		Patriotic Japanese downing sake in mass quantities to benefit Fukushima disaster recovery. Yeah, that'sh the ticket  (ajw.asahi.com)	(20)
		SABMiller shares weak and watered down in Europe  (reuters.com)	(4)
		At long last, Google Music is... a complete letdown  (gizmodo.com)	(66)

		Just another day in Florida features a knock down, drag out, school lunchroom fight between two 11-year-old girls ... and a parent  (wftv.com)	(66)
		Homeland Security responsible for the nationwide crackdown on OWS  (wonkette.com)	(407)

		PBS rockstar chef Christopher Kimball advises Thanksgiving cooks to "strip down the menu. Have the turkey, mashed potatoes and one other vegetable. And then forget the salad. Forget the six other sides"  (oregonlive.com)	(225)
		NPR's Michele Norris voluntarily stepped down after her husband took a job with the Obama campaign. What does George Will do after his wife goes to work for Rick Perry? Repeatedly bash Romney in his columns  (slate.com)	(119)
		After 75 years and 2,237 issues, how on earth is an iconic American magazine supposed to choose its 20 worst, embarrassing, woefully god-awful and downright hideous covers of all time? LOUDLY, that's how  (life.com)	(125)
(some chalupa)		They won't serve you in an electric wheelchair at the drive-thru window? Ram that chair into their front doors till they shatter. That's the *Elkhart* way  (abc57.com)	(107)

(Some Guy)		Tornado Watch issued for the Indianapolis region. Citizens are urged to seek shelter in Lucas Oil Stadium, where there is no chance of a touchdown  (theindychannel.com)	(107)
		"Glee" star Lauren Potter is down with President Obama's Committee for People With Intellectual Disabilities  (starpulse.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		This the greatest night in the history of wrestling as The Rock returns to Raw. Has HHH recovered from his devasting beat down by Nash? Will Cole plug twitter? Is three hours too much? This is your Monday night Raw thread  (wwe.com)	(1471)
		Would you all mind quieting down a bit? The birds ARE TRYING TO HAVE SEX DAMMIT  (io9.com)	(6)

		How a group of surly citizens took down the most powerful Republican in Arizona  (salon.com)	(97)
		Chris Jericho says that he'll never break the walls down for the WWE again  (bleacherreport.com)	(84)
		NY Times: Ok, we've been praising this OWS movement and never giving it any scrutiny, so here it is. It does have shadow leaders who organized it, not a 'spontaneous grass roots' group, and we gave it a free ride until today  (nytimes.com)	(290)
		Conservative bigots beat down openly gay....oh, wait, Liberals did it? Never mind, then  (dailycaller.com)	(218)

NordicTrack inventor dies after health goes quickly downhill  (washingtonpost.com)

(12)

(Some Guy)		Will The Wall be able to tear down Davey Boy Smith? Will Randy Savage versus Eddie Guerrero steal the show? Will That 70s Guy Mike Awesome versus Bobby Duncum not suck? This is your WCW Thunder thread  (wwe.com)	(211)
(NBC)		Hippies protesting consumption are starting to come down with it  (nbcnewyork.com)	(264)
		Picture of the Rhine river sells at auction for a record $4.3 million, or roughly 10 times what it would have cost to buy the land and build a house on it with a giant picture window overlooking the same scene  (news.yahoo.com)	(170)
(WTSP Tampa Bay)		Woman attacks a school bus driver because he won't let her ride the bus with students, later gets into altercation with police which she attempts to win by pulling down her underwear. With mugshot you can add to your collection  (wtsp.com)	(41)
		New EU "Right to be forgotten" proposal could allow everyone to demand to have unfavorable news articles about them flushed down the memory hole  (theregister.co.uk)	(29)
		If Fred Jackson's looking for extra motivation for game against the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones tore down his childhood home  (sports.yahoo.com)	(19)

(Some Guy)		Civil suits against Penn State could reach over 15% of the school's total endowment  (businessinsider.com)	(338)
(Some Guy)		Get down on the ground and do 100 pushups, you apple-knockin' jackwagons. Why? Because today is USMC day you maggots  (holidayinsights.com)	(169)
		It doesn't matter how rich and successful you are, slurping down tequila in public rarely ends well. "Suck my $57 million d--k"  (nypost.com)	(88)

		Pack of wild dogs savagely attack fleeing cat, bring it down in seconds (Warning: extremely graphic footage, not safe for work)  (youtube.com)	(168)
		And now your obligatory daily dose of upside-down helicoptering rhinoceros  (gawker.com)	(12)
		ISPs: 'We want to slow down internet traffic we don't like.' FCC: 'No.' Congress: 'Yes.' Obama: 'Oh hell naw'  (wired.com)	(103)
		Microsoft, Yahoo and AOL partner up in some kind of Down Syndrome Voltron arrangement  (money.cnn.com)	(35)
		The downside of big-screen comic book adaptations. Wait a minute... you're saying there's a DOWNSIDE to Batman & Robin?  (denofgeek.com)	(44)
		Adam Sandler: "Hey, that palm frond makes a character on my new movie billboard look like she's got a mustache." Movie studio has tree cut down. Sandler: "What the hell did you do that for?"  (starpulse.com)	(43)

		High-ranking writer reveals ABC executives are dumbing down "Pan Am" to viewers. How does one dumb down a five-head?  (youtube.com)	(29)
(Some Guy)		As classy as ever, OWS protestors vandalize street carts when the free food gets shut down. They really showed those rich snobs with their fancy hot dog carts  (losangeles.cbslocal.com)	(720)
(Some Guy)		UFO researchers downgrade Colombian UFO from "contact with extraterrestrial civilizations" to "really cool kite"  (colombiareports.com)	(10)

(Some Guy)		Down goes Frazier  (abclocal.go.com)	(204)
		Loaded BGP update causes Juniper routers world wide to fail, large portion of the internet down  (zdnet.co.uk)	(55)

		Women forced to 'dumb down' to find a man to marry. You submitted this with a stupider headline  (dailymail.co.uk)	(556)
		Arrests of illegal immigrants down 43% on Arizona border, a significant drop that indicates the Arizona illegal immigration law is working  (suntimes.com)	(191)
		High school student suspended three days for wearing eye shadow, told there will be no make-up  (dailymail.co.uk)	(114)
(USGS)		♪ ♫ "Oooooklahoma where the quakes come sweeping down the Plain" ♪ ♫  (earthquake.usgs.gov)	(222)

While most countries store their nuclear weapons in a well-fortified bunker, Pakistan stores their nuclear weapons in a van down by the river  (wired.com)

(115)

		Unemployment's down to 9%, so Congress was finally able to focus on passing the important stuff like the America's Cup Act  (rawstory.com)	(57)
		Jamie Foxx is the 2011 Ambassador for the Global Down Syndrome Foundation. Isn't that special?  (people.com)	(20)
		Everything went downhill when she asked the cop to arrest her mailbox  (sun-sentinel.com)	(41)
		O's are 0 for 3 this offseason, as in three different GM candidates have turned them down  (espn.go.com)	(42)
(Some Guy)		If the cops are going to raid a strip joint, you would think they would have the man-to-man courtesy and let a customer finish getting his lap dance before breaking down the door  (newsherald.com)	(22)
		Russian officials are about to open up the hatch to a windowless cell that's been sealed for 520-days as part of a simulaton to Mars. How much you wanna bet all they find the crew all dead and a slug-like alien crawling around inside?  (mnn.com)	(76)
		President Obama tells Europe to get its economic house in order so the Euro wouldn't fall. Meanwhile in other news, the dollar continues its downward spiral  (nytimes.com)	(44)
		If you can't throw a naked prostitute out of your hotel window while arguing over the price of sex any more - what in the hell can you do?  (myfoxdc.com)	(53)
		Wife suspects her husband of cheating, so she drives to his workplace and finds him talking to a strange woman. Then she punches him in the face, tears off his shirt, hits him with a rubber hose, and runs him down with her car  (press-citizen.com)	(73)

		PlayStation controllers might feature biometric sensors that would determine how stressed you are. If they ever make Battletoads for the PlayStation 3, those sensors would have a full-on meltdown  (gizmodo.com)	(52)
		Heavy October rains raise the dead. We all float down here  (hosted.ap.org)	(58)
		AOL shuts down LISTSERV. If you don't understand this headline, ask your parents after they stop crying  (pcworld.com)	(47)
		The Dow could reach 100,000 in 20 years, according to an author that just discovered crack cocaine, angel dust, and probably some peyote thrown in for good measure  (cnbc.com)	(113)
		Cain's downfall puts Newt on deck for the next candidate of the month, followed by Eiffel 65, Mark Cohn, Lou Bega, and the New Radicals  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(224)

		City of Compton finds itself in full financial meltdown -- despite being solidly in the black only a few short years ago  (latimes.com)	(99)
		BOOOOOOOOM: An infographic breakdown of the explosions in Michael Bay's films  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(21)
(Some Guy)		Controversial breast cancer awareness display of bras burned down in Kabul. Wait, did I say Kabul? I meant to say Bowling Green  (courier-journal.com)	(59)
(Some Guy)		Not news: Man in Halloween mask scares girlfriend. Still not news: her dog attacks him: Still not news: he understands the dog reacted normally. Fark: he wants dog put down  (courierpress.com)	(131)
		Japan: "Damaged reactors could take 30 years to retire" Americans: "That whole mess is still going on? Sheesh, we're a little pre-occupied over here with the Kardashian melt-down, okay? Try to keep up  (articles.cnn.com)	(49)
		Analyst predicts that Grand Theft Auto V will be download only. End of the world also coming tomorrow  (g4tv.com)	(83)

		Late Friday night, four young women are waiting in a parking garage. One notices another's miniskirt is so short, her buttocks are showing. She reaches over and pulls the skirt down. And then things get oral  (nj.com)	(613)
		US soldier at court-martial: Sure I made a necklace of human fingers taken from Afghans I killed, and put a hash-fueled beatdown on the soldier who snitched on me, but I'm not a murderer or anything  (news.yahoo.com)	(190)

		Herman Cain compares foreign policy to making pizza. So the Iraq War is flinging your uncut pizza on the roof of your house and refusing to get it down?  (thinkprogress.org)	(67)
		The perfect reaction to your dog gettting hit by a car after you fed it LSD: run naked down the street with your boyfriend  (cbsatlanta.com)	(83)
(Some Guy)		Your elderly horse has been put down. Do you: C) Strip naked and pose for pictures in its carcass?  (koinlocal6.com)	(234)
		Unwilling to let the US maintain a lead in any technology, Russia unveils a drunk, naked driver that can smash up 17 vehicles in downtown Moscow. US feverishly working on 20-car naked drunk driver technology  (af.reuters.com)	(30)
		Please push me down the stairs  (dailymail.co.uk)	(32)
		Analysts say strong yen, parts shortage, driving Honda's profits down. Company officials all in accord  (bloomberg.com)	(3)
		Starting in January in Australia, logos on cigarette boxes will be banned. Next step: Paying someone $100 to punch you in the face before being tossed down a spike-filled pit to retrieve a small handful of smokes  (iheartchaos.com)	(19)

		You can be part of the 1% that gets to ski down the Aspen slopes before the rest of the unwashed masses for only $25,000  (denverpost.com)	(86)
(Some Insufferable Prig)		Man files obscenity complaint over naked lady silhouette sticker on neighboring woman's car window. With picture of complaining guy posing with sticker he finds so offensive  (greatfallstribune.com)	(262)
		NY "foreclosure mill" tones down its Halloween celebrations in light of the terrible economy. Just kidding - they throw a party and dress up as homeless people and mock foreclosed homeowners  (nytimes.com)	(430)
		BBC shocked to discover that after dumbing down BBC Radio 3 classical music programming to appeal to mouthbreathers, no one is listening to BBC Radio 3  (guardian.co.uk)	(40)

		US Border Patrol stops routinely searching buses, trains and airports for illegal immigrants at transportation hubs along the northern border that's been great for tracking down people here illegally. Psst: It's now ok, illegals  (hosted.ap.org)	(121)
		Rachel Maddow tells Paul Wolfowitz to STFU in epic rant  (rawstory.com)	(406)

		NBA sees own shadow, guaranteeing four more weeks of lockout, canceled games, general apathy  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(87)
		It all comes down to one game for the Rangers and Cardinals. The battle for supremacy begins at 7:05 PM Central on Fox. It's your World Series Game 7 Discussion Thread  (sports.espn.go.com)	(1244)
		Lady Gaga loves "feeling worshipped." Bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. BOO  (celebitchy.com)	(88)
(Richmond Times Dispatch)		Richmond, VA to Tea Party: You want to rally? That'll be $10,000 plus surcharges for the "We're Assuming You're The Klan" paperwork. Richmond, VA to #Occupy: You want to rally? C'mon down, it's free  (www2.timesdispatch.com)	(315)
		Whirlpool sends 5,000 jobs down the drain  (chicagotribune.com)	(20)
		Billy Joel's daughter Alexa reveals she picked up something going down Easter  (dailymail.co.uk)	(82)
		Houston QB Case Keenum throws 534 yards and 9 touchdowns against Rice, has the defenses of Barley, Oats, and Wheat terrified  (espn.go.com)	(68)
		Due to errors in translation of how-to-copy-Apple memo into Finnish, Nokia's new Windows phones arrive with non-removable batteries and non-expandable memory  (gizmodo.com)	(150)

		It's bad enough you burglars broke in and stole my stuff, but at least shut the window when you're done so a fox can't sneak in and eat my child  (telegraph.co.uk)	(98)
		Passive-walking robot can stroll downhill forever with no power source. I've got one of those, too. It's called a Slinky  (popsci.com)	(41)
		Oh the people on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down  (thesmokinggun.com)	(55)
(WSB TV)		Family says "aw hell no" to fire consuming their 3rd floor apartment, tosses infant to rescuers, lowers toddler via rope, then climbs down the outside of the building "like they were Spiderman"  (wsbtv.com)	(36)
(Bangor Daily News)		Man repeatedly calls 911 from down the street from his house, claiming to be lost and demanding a ride. Cops are happy to oblige  (bangordailynews.com)	(11)
		Computer glitch shuts down Australian stock market. This might take awhile  (smh.com.au)	(10)

		Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. miss each other when they aren't working together. Awwwwwwwww  (contactmusic.com)	(24)
		The NYPD is shadowing two types of people: Those with American-sounding names, and those with foreign-sounding names  (nj.com)	(54)
		Police find children in kennel. The kids were initially very rowdy but calmed down when police threatened to get out the paper  (omaha.com)	(52)
		Cops stop you as you walk down the street and ask if you have any drugs on you. The wrong thing to say is: A) I need a lawyer? B) I need a lawyer? C) I need a lawyer? D) Just less than an ounce of weed?  (nwfdailynews.com)	(61)
		Google/Youtube take down request by country: UK wanted to ban Jihadist, Germany Nazis, US wanted videos of police brutality removed, Japan didn't want to have remove anything and China is a state-secret  (theregister.co.uk)	(51)

(Patch.com)		Comcast, Verizon ordered to disclose over 100 customer records of people who illegally downloaded pornographic movies back in---hang on, someone's at the door  (pikesville.patch.com)	(84)
		Gingrich: "At some point I think it's going to come down to Romney and me"  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(161)
(Glendale News Press)		L.A.'s "Love Ride" Grand Marshall Jay Leno joked about the fundraiser's untarnished safety record, and his desire to see "somebody go down". Guess what happened for the first time in the ride's 28 year history?  (glendalenewspress.com)	(103)
(Some Guy)		Look, citizen, just because we broke down your door, smashed all your windows, busted holes in your wall and left the smell of tear gas while you waited in one of our complimentary jail cells doesn't make us responsible. Sleep tight, citizen  (sacramento.cbslocal.com)	(125)

		The most wonderfully insane shop-window sign you'll see all day  (boingboing.net)	(83)
(Daily News)		Rand Corp has retracted a report showing that crime went up in neighborhoods where pot dispensaries were shut down. Pressure from LA City Attorney had nothing to do with it, of course  (dailynews.com)	(60)
(Some Guy)		Study: Obese people don't weigh down healthcare system  (610wiod.com)	(183)
		Harley to recall 300,000 motorcycles. Noted not for the number, but for the fact that HD finally broke down and issued a recall for an embarrasingly obvious design flaw  (news.yahoo.com)	(95)
(Some Guy)		Most people would simply turn down a bet like this. Most people  (timesheraldonline.com)	(72)
		Statue of Liberty gets her first webcam for her 125th birthday, will let you see down her toga  (sfgate.com)	(41)
		The three finalists in the Blizzcon costume contest are farking amazing, but all of that will be overshadowed in the comments by what a fatass Jay Mohr is turning into  (iheartchaos.com)	(57)
		You're sailing down the Amazon and come in contact with members of a tribe that have never seen modern people. Do you: A) Approach? B) Back off? C) Leave food? D) HOLY CRAP, THEY'RE SHOOTING ARROWS AT US  (mnn.com)	(165)
(Some Guy)		Pro-tip: if you accidentally flag down an officer and ask him if he wants to buy a prositute, don't say you were joking and what you really needed was something to roll a joint with  (thesunnews.com)	(12)
		Ever wanted to turn your whole rear window into an illuminated, animated display of your passive-aggressiveness while driving? Now you can  (engadget.com)	(302)

		Staffordshire Bull terrier which mauled boy escapes being put down... because it was 'drunk on Stella Artois'  (dailymail.co.uk)	(128)
		Police aid broken down owl parked on shoulder of Mass Pike  (telegram.com)	(27)

Will LSU miss its suspended players? Can Sparty take down the Badgers? Can Mizzou keep up with the Cowboys? It's time for a Saturday college football thread  (espn.go.com)

(1538)

		Herman Cain responds to 9-9-9 plan criticism by dropping one of the 9s. One down, two to go  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(146)
		In which Rachel Maddow explains lady parts to Mitt Romney  (maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com)	(147)
		Model's chocolate dress disintegrates on the catwalk. Is immediately scarfed down by nearby starving models before rushing to bathroom holding feathers. (with sfw pics)  (dailymail.co.uk)	(69)
		Hall of Fame women's basketball coach Geno Auriemma calls out Notre Dame and kicks Touchdown Jesus right in the lady-parts  (courant.com)	(21)

		Gallant knows when to say when at the local bar. Goofus throws an umbrella stand through the window when the bar refuses to serve him  (mcall.com)	(17)
		NFL Films digs through frozen tundra of its entire DVD back catalog, issues 115 titles via digital download for first time ever  (google.com)	(25)
		Joe Biden uses sexual, violent imagery to push Jobs Bill. At least it's not getting rammed down Americans' throats  (foxnews.com)	(91)

		Why so serious? Because Mark Hamill is stepping down as the voice of the Joker after 19 years  (examiner.com)	(83)
		Hypothetically speaking, could you stomach a 2,600 point drop in the Dow? Now, settle down, this is just hypothetWOULD YOU STOP PANICKING, PLEASE?  (blogs.marketwatch.com)	(63)
		Pat Buchanan: I'm not saying that minorities are bad for the US, I'm just saying things will go downhill as it gets darker around here, if you catch my drift  (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)	(333)
		Dow Jones and the Indices of Doom  (marketwatch.com)	(8)
		The "Suck for Luck" power rankings: It's a three horse race, and they all need to be put down  (withleather.uproxx.com)	(58)

		Starbucks new blonde roast coffee appeals to many because it goes down easy  (komonews.com)	(9)
		Will 9-9-9 hit the 7-7-7? Will Santorum play craps? Will Gingrich have a one night stand? Will Bachmann double-down? THIS...is your Las Vegas GOP debate thread  (washingtonpost.com)	(lots)
(kctv5.com)		Bad economy = more sex. HOORAY, GLOBAL ECONOMIC MELTDOWN  (kctv5.com)	(42)
		KFC's sequel to the Double Down takes basically everything they serve, puts it in a bowl and then adds a farkload of bacon  (gawker.com)	(114)
		A woman next to you trips and falls down. Do you: A) Offer to help her up? B) Check to make sure she didn't injure herself? C) Lick her knee?  (azcentral.com)	(43)
		Darpa symposium debates possibility of 100-year starship to other worlds. On the downside, interstellar travelers would hear endless loop of "Sara" and "We Built This City"  (nytimes.com)	(42)
		Firefighter catches boy dropped from window, is instantly hired by the Indianapolis Colts  (news.com.au)	(21)
(Roll Call)		One more perk of being in Congress: none of this five-hour-window shiat from the cable company  (rollcall.com)	(21)

(Some Guy)		"Wet Cement Fight Ends in Arrests." And, hopefully, a hosedown  (localnews8.com)	(23)
		Everything you need to know about "The Scorpion King 3" can be boiled down to one phrase: "Starring Billy Zane and Kimbo Slice"  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)		Photshop Challenge: Turn the world upside down (link goes to example)  (s002.radikal.ru)	(33)
		Photoshop this bogged down guy  (cdn.theatlantic.com)	(24)

(Some Guy)		Spock is gay. Now we know why he turned down Nurse Chapel  (huliq.com)	(154)
		Will the Redskins put Michael Vick down again? Can the Carolina Newtons win another game? Will the Lions vs. the 49ers be the best game of the day? It's the NFL Week 6 thread (games begin at 1 PM ET on Fox and CBS)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(lots)
		Epic fake punt touchdown run brought back for excessive celebration  (wimp.com)	(74)
		Robert Downey Jr., known for his sound character judgment, asks Hollywood to forgive Mel Gibson  (insidemovies.ew.com)	(81)

(pro football talk)

Roger Goodell imposes $7,500 fine for stiff arm to helmet. Heisman trophy statue breaks down and cries  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)

(55)

(CBS NYC)		Latest attack inside a McDonald's takes place in NYC's Greenwich Village, where a cashier takes a metal rod and beats down two unruly female customers. Have you had your broken skull today? (With extra value video craziness)  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(325)
(Some Guy)		A Cain-Obama match up would be a textbook showdown on which direction Americans want government to go in the coming years  (newamericamedia.org)	(171)
(The Bay Citizen)		San Francisco shuts down preschool bake sale because it didn't have a permit. Next target: lemonade stand scofflaws  (baycitizen.org)	(62)
		You're a drug dealer up a pylon, negotiating with police who want you down; what do you demand? Note: you already have a beer  (shortlist.com)	(48)
		When you're trying to figure out what's clogging the pipes down at the wastewater treatment plant, you're probably not guessing a 32-inch eel (with wastewater pipe clogging eel pic)  (courant.com)	(95)
(Some Guy)		White Sox catcher says he's drank beer in the clubhouse during games. "Sometimes you're just really struggling and you just say, 'Hey, you know what, I need something to calm me down and let's have a beer'"  (wlky.com)	(58)
		How do you get a Space Shuttle from the airport to a museum? Well, you start by tearing down trees, power lines, and traffic lights  (latimes.com)	(119)

		Architects in Mexico manage to turn 65 floor skyscraper inside out and upside down  (dailymail.co.uk)	(168)
(WSMV)		Charlie Daniels Band keyboardist went down to Georgia, but died in wreck on way to show  (wsmv.com)	(16)
		With over 14 million Americans out of work, manufacturers can't understand why people aren't breaking down their doors to apply for an entry-level position that requires 10 years of experience  (cnbc.com)	(182)
(Poynter)		Dow Jones disputes Guardian's account of Wall Street Journal ELP scandal, says they would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown were exclusively all their own, all their own, all their own  (poynter.org)	(20)
		Japanese company will make a hyper-realistic 3-D mask of your face, accurate down to the individual pores and eye vasculature for a mere 4-6k. You know, in case you wanted to go out as a rich, creepy, narcissist this Halloween  (io9.com)	(82)
		One of Michele Bachmann's advisors is a friend of the man who most aggressively promoted the bill to hunt down and kill all of Uganda's gays. Yes, that bill is still there, waiting for international pressure against it to let up  (huffingtonpost.com)	(133)

		1001 phone calls, 712 emails, egging his house, shattering several of the windows of his west Houston home, first with a tire iron, and then with a 5-foot sword. Hell hath no fury.....,  (chron.com)	(91)
		People are not happy that the frat houses in their neighborhood keep burning down. "The proof is in the pudding, and in this case, it's a flaming figgy pudding"  (nola.com)	(46)
		Yes, building a company around FarmVille was dumb, and things were looking grim for Zynga's $1B IPO until they hit upon this key idea: Create more of their unique brand of crappy, boring games, only without Facebook dragging them down  (gawker.com)	(27)
		Got $185 you're looking to spend? Pop on down to Mount Vernon and buy a bottle of rye whiskey distilled according to George Washington's own personal recipe  (wtop.com)	(42)
		Remember when Darth Maul was cut in half, fell down a shaft and died? Yeah, about that  (insidetv.ew.com)	(132)
		If you picked "less than one day" as your answer for "How long would it take Fox News to start calling for war against Iran," come on down  (foxnews.com)	(288)
		A warehouse of robots will soon be hunting down Sarah Connor, right after they finish sorting and restocking  (youtube.com)	(23)
		Michelle Bachmann, "If you turn Cain's 999 plan upside down it becomes 666"  (realclearpolitics.com)	(186)