Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Some Guy)		Liberals, circa 2006: President writing that he won't abide by Congress' laws is very, very bad. Liberals, 2010: Oh that law's no problem, the President wrote down a promise not to apply it  (washingtonexaminer.com)	(36)

		Zombieland writers talk Deadpool, G.I. Joe 2 and Zombieland 2. Plus list all the people who turned down a cameo in the original film  (denofgeek.com)	(38)
		Canadian flyer, downed, crash-lands at Bolling Air Force Base. One injured  (washingtonpost.com)	(42)
(Cato Institute)		What's the best way to bring down Big East basketball? Football  (cato.org)	(21)
		Sir Christopher Lee sits down and reads "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll. Strangely, no one dies afterwards  (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk)	(16)
		Hogwarts Castle burns down after a special-effect goes wrong on new Harry Potter movie. Snape did it  (dailymail.co.uk)	(25)

GOP doubles down on hoax memo. Because that's what our founders would have wanted  (crooksandliars.com)

(201)

		The producers of the Captain America movie aren't farking around anymore, they're serious this time. The list to play Cap is down to three people. They think you'll be pleasantly supr...oh Jesus H. Christ, are you farking kidding me?  (slashfilm.com)	(104)
		Man dies after catching on fire while trying to burn down his home so his estranged wife wouldn't get it  (dailymail.co.uk)	(52)
		This is what a solar panel with down syndrome looks like  (fastcompany.com)	(58)
		Viacom: YouTube is stealing our copyrighted content. YouTube: We took down your videos. Viacom: It's up again, you're violating our copyright. YouTube: Well Viacom, why do YOU keep putting it up again?  (news.cnet.com)	(40)
(Boeing)		Boeing completes design of massive shipboard super laser capable of shooting down ballistic missiles, repelling sharks  (boeing.mediaroom.com)	(58)
		Pentagon cyberattack takes down jihadist Internet forum used to plan attacks in Iraq. Unfortunately, it was a covert CIA-Saudi honeypot used to monitor extremists  (washingtonpost.com)	(56)
		A quick rundown on just what Jonah Hex is actually about. You know, it's a pretty cool comic book, it's going to be a lot more than just Megan Fox being a hooker, I mean it's....I lost you at Megan Fox being a hooker, didn't I?  (movies.ign.com)	(28)
(Some Supervillain)		Supervillain Smackdown: Mystique vs Catwoman  (thecorrectness.com)	(165)
		Entertainment industry to use words like "unauthorised downloading" after it was determined that "piracy" sounds kind of cool and sexy  (boingboing.net)	(77)

		Arizona State Park Budget in 2007: $66 million. Revenue from State Parks in 2007: $266 million. Arizona Legislature in 2010: Close 'em down, they cost too much  (azcentral.com)	(111)
(Some Guy)		Dressed like a Transformer and sliding down the road on your belly is no way to go through life...but it could be fun before you kill yourself  (gamaniak.com)	(29)
		CDO Market Meltdown, here comes the science. Written by a 24-year old hot Harvard undergrad chick (with pic) (I only mention it because you wouldn't read the thesis otherwise)  (blogs.wsj.com)	(70)
		Universal Music to make all its CDs cheaper than digital downloads  (gizmodo.com)	(49)
		When given a choice consumers consistently choose Windows. Just kidding, Opera downloads doubled now that Microsoft has to offer a choice during setup  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(98)
(Is that short for Management?)		MGMT turned down a supporting slot with Lady Gaga. Well, good for MGMT. Whoever the hell they are  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(60)
		Armed robber goes to a grocery store, pulls out a knife, and demands cash. Do the other customers: a) hold him at gunpoint until the cops arrive, b) tackle him and take his knife away, or c) bring him down with a hail of vegetables?  (news.com.au)	(43)
		Sidney Crosby and the Penguins get beaten down by the Devils. This is not a repeat from the other five times these teams played this season  (scores.espn.go.com)	(126)
		YouTube uploads 24 hours of video every minute. That's a LOT of "Final Countdown" covers  (news.com.au)	(25)

(azfamily.com)		Dad leaps from a second story window and shoots his daughter's boyfriend in the groin when he sees him beating her up, guaranteeing whoever dates her in the future will always get her home before curfew  (azfamily.com)	(308)
		Warehouse 13 actors Eddie McClintock and Joanne Kelly sit down and talk being awesome  (io9.com)	(20)
(Pop Rox Nation)		There's a turning point where your massive collection of junk goes from "You have no life" to "We now bow down before your awesomeness"  (poproxnation.thekartel.com)	(48)
(Some Booted Brit)		Man kicked off train for writing down the titles of songs and artists, including "The Killers" and "Take Me Out"  (nme.com)	(59)
($ome Guy)		With $peeding ticket revenue down during the bad economic time$ the $tate i$ con$idering rai$ing $peeding fine$, you know for public $afety  (wbir.com)	(115)
		"So you dive out the window -- still very, very naked -- and strain to stay balanced on your tippy-toes on the lip of the ledge, dangling from the edge in more ways than one"  (aolnews.com)	(33)
		Because drunk people falling down is never not funny... Happy St. Patrick's Day  (tv.gawker.com)	(24)
		You should never kick your bus driver in the head. Especially when he's driving down the interstate  (sltrib.com)	(29)
		The most awesome pictures of a Bald Eagle chasing down a European Starling you will see all day  (dailymail.co.uk)	(166)
(Some Guy)		The next obscure parliamentary procedure that the GOP says is sacrilege (despite having used it many times themselves) is... *spins wheel* ...the self-executing rule. Come on down, self-executing rule. You're next  (blog.american.com)	(165)

		World recession getting you down? Then cheer news of 10,000 bottles of champagne being spit out at a London tasting, compared by one participant to "Clint Eastwood's tobacco-chewing desperado in 'The Outlaw Josey Wales'."  (timesonline.co.uk)	(12)
		Robert Downey Jr. to get really high (into space)  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(12)
		Jets upset over phantom coin toss that allowed the New York Giants to host the opening game at the new Meadowlands stadium  (sports.espn.go.com)	(121)
		J.D. Hayworth goes on openly lesbian host Rachel Maddow's show to defend his comments equating gay marriage, and lays out a persuasive argument that astounds even Maddow... just kidding, he makes an ass of himself and fails it hard  (msnbc.msn.com)	(178)
(Courier Press)		Kentucky schools tackle the "cheese sandwich issue," decide to crack down on all these deadbeat kids who keep forgetting their lunch money  (courierpress.com)	(161)
		Obituarial lolwuttery: "For love and stability they turned to their father's old nanny, Marie, an uncompromisingly down-to-earth, one-eyed Swiss peasant who, having lost her own baby, kept a picture of his corpse above their beds."  (telegraph.co.uk)	(61)

(NME)		Eddy Grant is gonna rock down to courthouse avenue, after listening to Gorillaz' "Stylo" and deeming it a rip-off to his "Time Warp" song from '82  (nme.com)	(51)
		Good neighbor: Operates noisy equipment indoors, with the windows closed. Dead neighbor: It's a portable generator  (nj.com)	(54)
		US credit rating on verge of downgrade, making it harder to get legitimate loans. Vinny the Loan Shark nods approvingly  (economix.blogs.nytimes.com)	(48)
(Some Dummy)		Emilie de Ravin is confused by Lost, manual car windows, and shoelaces  (digitalspy.com)	(80)
		Punk? Blues? Grunge? Whatever you call it, here's PJ Harvey "Down by the Water"  (youtube.com)	(39)

		Pro tip: When you rob a cabbie, always shoot him six times, because five times won't do it. He'll still kick your ass and hold you down until the cops get there  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(64)
(KOCO)		A tree branch is not legal tender, even if it is "the last tree in the universe," and throwing a brick through the jail window when they refuse to accept your twig isn't smart either. Meth, what can't it do?  (koco.com)	(27)

		Dog growls contain specific information - probably like "Ruh roh" and "Timmy's down the well."  (news.discovery.com)	(62)
		Studio responsible for the technology behind Jim Carrey's "A Christmas Carol" is being shut down by Disney. Probably because they had a hand in making a Jim Carrey movie  (latimes.com)	(20)
		Oldie but goodie from 1981: "Imagine sitting down to your morning coffee, turning on your home computer, and reading the day's newspaper. It's not as far fetched as it may seem..."  (youtube.com)	(64)
		Last week: drinking may help reduce weight gain. This week: Put down the beer, fatty  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(16)

		Brietbart downgrades Tom Hanks' condition from "Un-American" to "Unhinged"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(101)
		Today's needless fearmongering article to parents: going down a slide with your child on your lap can break their leg  (oregonlive.com)	(98)
(Some Villain)		Supervillain Smackdown - Joker vs Green Goblin  (thecorrectness.com)	(282)
		Because they couldn't contend with all the spectators, the Nanny State shuts down the famous Gloucester downhill cheese rolling race after 200 years of pratfall amusement  (dailymail.co.uk)	(74)
		Remember the silly story about the zebra trotting around downtown Atlanta? Well that zebra was euthanized. Enjoy your weekend  (11alive.com)	(110)
		Widow telling tragic story of husband's death to state legislature is actually illegal, unregistered lobbyist using husband's death for her own and others' financial gain  (thenewspaper.com)	(11)

		This really is only a video of a guy going down some stairs. And he doesn't get hurt. But it's only 10 seconds  (break.com)	(41)
		You folks, those of you up there, reportedly seek torrential rain in harm's way down there, over in white stuff some of you thus really marred mute point  (interact.stltoday.com)	(36)

		Man strangles his girlfriend to death and then tries to kill himself by drinking bleach and slashing his wrists. Of course, he went across the street and not down the block  (press-citizen.com)	(85)
		Not news: Gunman prompts school lockdown. Fark: Gunman was wielding a Nerf gun  (omaha.com)	(107)
		Before he died, Corey Haim turned down an offer to appear on "Celebrity Rehab," saying "It's the last show I'd ever do." Yeah, probably  (tmz.com)	(57)
		If your car breaks down and needs to be towed, it'd be nice if the recovery firm manages to at least get it out of the parking lot without incident  (youtube.com)	(15)
		James Roday sits down and talks about the best show you're not watching and the dark turn it's going to take in its season finale  (starpulse.com)	(80)
		Christopher Nolan talks "Man of Steel," "Batman 3" and shoots down some Justice League rumors  (cinematical.com)	(55)
		Raquel Welch's bustier set off a metal detector at Chicago's O'Hare Airport and the actress had to undergo a patdown search by female TSA agents and you're already clicking the link looking for pics and vid  (suntimes.com)	(44)
(Some Guy)		In 'Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus', a shark jumps out of the water and takes down an airplane flying at 6,000 ft. Your first instinct may be to call 'bullshiat'. Your a idiot and here comes the science  (flowingdata.com)	(117)

		When the nice officer politely requests that you stop kicking his window, you should probably listen to him  (liveleak.com)	(79)
		Cisco just invented a new router that can download the entire Library of Congress in one second, every movie ever made in four minutes, all the porn on the internet in 69 years    (finance.yahoo.com)	(88)
		Water consuption in Edmonton during the Gold Medal hockey game; the beer consumption chart would probably look the same, but upside down  (blog.canoe.ca)	(118)
(Some Guy)		Windows kill up to 1 billion birds in North America each year. "I see no immediate reason why these figures would be erroneous"  (mnn.com)	(236)
		Superbowl XLII MVP Manning still getting Superbowl XLI MVP Manning's hand-me-downs  (indystar.com)	(21)
		Former employee: I'm a huge social networker and stuff so if you don't like pay me $200,000 I'll bring the company down through spam emails. Company: Oooooooo, we're scaaaaared  (myfoxdc.com)	(88)
		Headline: "Spring Music Preview: Get the Lowdown on the Season's 40 Big Albums" First album: Justin Bieber. I'd call Rolling Stone a bunch of whores, but their readers will get grounded for using that language  (rollingstone.com)	(26)
		That sound you just heard is the back end of the Minnesota Twins bullpen flushing down the toliet  (sports.espn.go.com)	(29)
(Child Trends Data Bank)		94 percent of parents of three- and four-year-olds report having spanked their kids in the past year; parents of the other 6% have them working down't mill twenty hours a day for tuppence a month  (childtrendsdatabank.org)	(61)
		Window cleaner commits suicide by stabbing himself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil. "If you were choosing to take your own life, that's not the way you would do it"  (mirror.co.uk)	(111)

		Study shows iPhone addictive, making it the first truly great smartphone that people literally can't put down. You think anyone actually feels that way about their Blackberry? If they did there'd be a cute punny name for it or something  (news.yahoo.com)	(59)
		Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-awhide) breaks down and cries about health care like the little girl he is: "Please, don't do this -- just, please"  (abcnews.go.com)	(251)

(Pittsburgh Channel)		Historical Hindenburg site burns down: "Somehow something in there ignited and it just went up really quickly"  (thepittsburghchannel.com)	(66)
(Some Console Gamer)		If you ever wondered what would happen if Ubisoft's DRM authentication servers went down, today's your lucky day  (escapistmagazine.com)	(192)
		For those of you who stopped listening to music after 1975 and thinking no good, new music exists: Tame Impala's "Sundown Syndrome"  (youtube.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		Victoria Jackson sings "There's a Communist Living in the White House." Scroll down for the cutest video you ever did see. Seriously, she's adorable  (newsrealblog.com)	(205)
(Some Guy)		Is there hope for the future ... books outnumber games in Apple App store downloads  (lawprofessors.typepad.com)	(27)
		You Farkers can keep resting easy. Exercise is useless. However, you might have to put down the bacon  (montrealgazette.com)	(190)
		Watch as downtown Melbourne, Australia is transformed from a city experiencing a hailstorm to the middle of the Amazon River in mere minutes  (liveleak.com)	(46)

Drive down Route 1 and take your pick of tribute bands covering the Beatles, because they're awesome but they're gone, U2, because they're around but expensive, and the Dave Matthews band, for no discernible reason  (boston.com)

(15)

(Some 9-Iron)		Because he has morals, standards, and integrity, Tiger Woods turns down an endorsement offer from an Irish gambling consortium  (digitalspy.com)	(14)
		Stop me if you heard this one before: Mets shut down SS Jose Reyes due to health concerns  (nj.com)	(20)
(Candy Boots)		Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. No need to actually make these dishes to slim down, one look at the pictures and you'll lose your appetite for a week  (candyboots.com)	(134)
		Fox picked up Sam Raimi's "The Shadow" project, so expect it to now be about a jive-talking groundhog who solves crimes by predicting the weather  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(36)
		"An antistrange gold quark has been identified. It is much heavier than the less unusual up or down quarks. The extra mass of this exotic antiquark is enough to make an antihydrogen isotope heavier than antihelium"  (scientificamerican.com)	(82)
		British Chinook pilot hit between eyes by bullet over Afghanistan, flies damaged aircraft back to base, lands safely, lives, and all this with huge brass balls weighing helicopter down  (news.com.au)	(248)
(Some Guy)		Good news: Economic downturn may signal the end of the shopping mall. Bad news: The demise of shopping malls will probably bring down more small and medium-sized banks  (housingwatch.com)	(101)
		So someone took the Mattel Mindflex, and hacked in an electric shock device. So calm down and watch...or else  (engadget.com)	(50)

		List counts down TV's sexiest moms. And just to be clear up front so nobody gets pissed off, technically Mrs. Garrett was not a "mom" so you won't find her on this list. Thanks  (wgal.com)	(112)
(Some Guy)		It is perfectly safe to urinate on a downed powerline  (thenewstribune.com)	(65)
		Rachel Maddow tweet-slaps Orrin Hatch. Kinky  (dailykos.com)	(103)

		Saudia Arabia is becoming more liberal as Israel is turning more theocratic, writes a credulous Maureen Dowd, who took a break from her research into Moon cheese and monkey fishing to write a column  (nytimes.com)	(105)
(wwl)		Headline: Deer breaks through bank window - no bucks missing. (With possessed deer pic)  (wwl.com)	(58)
(Pharyngula)		Repent Amarillo is the American Taliban come to life. Sort of like if Fred Phelps and his clan had humvees and fatigues and went to funerals ready to kill the mourners, then wrote their license plates down to harass them later  (scienceblogs.com)	(306)
		KISS want to rock n' roll all night, unless their confetti cannons break down. Then they have to cut the show short  (gigwise.com)	(44)
(Lohud.com)		NJ family takes down snow Venus de Milo after complaints that it wasn't orange enough  (lohud.com)	(112)
		Last week Microsoft brought down Waldec, today Spanish authorities will announce arrests and the end of Mariposa. It looks like running a botnet has suddenly become a dangerous occupation  (abcnews.go.com)	(19)
		Detached penis goes missing, now most likely on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven down on Second Avenue near St Mark's Place    (gothamist.com)	(118)

The ten most downloaded iTunes songs of all time. I defy you not to wince when you read this list  (aolradioblog.com)

(176)

(Some Guy)		Apparently the suck of Oasis was also bringing down the local football team  (nme.com)	(9)
		With the Canada/USA Olympic flamewar dying down, Deadspin kickstarts the annual Yanks/Sox pissing contest by naming the AL East's second most successful team their "Team of the Decade"  (deadspin.com)	(107)
		Sorry iPhone haters, but your "Droid" can't be upgraded to Windows Mobile 7 after all  (wired.com)	(97)
		Preventing health care reform due to abortion language is like letting a forest burn down for the sake of a bag of acorns  (suntimes.com)	(168)
		How Aeon Flux killed Black Widow and made Iron Man 2 the movie it is today. Is there anything Charlize Theron can't do?  (io9.com)	(66)
		Things to spend $40,000 on: a new car, a couple of years in college, a down payment on a house, or maybe a crappy old Nintendo game  (videogames.yahoo.com)	(68)
		A rundown of the Olympic Closing Ceremony, including everything NBC thought was less important than the Marriage Ref  (vancouver2010.blogs.nytimes.com)	(63)
		♪Look for the union label when you are getting threatened vandalized or beatdown.♫  (theglobeandmail.com)	(214)
		"Alright buddy, I saw you feeding that homeless guy over there. Where's your license? Don't have one? Well, you're taking a trip downtown"  (foxnews.com)	(243)
		Bad: You get in a car accident . Worse: you knock down a power line. Fark: you piss on a live wire and electrocute yourself  (startribune.com)	(16)
		There are now bacteria so powerful, the only antibiotics strong enough to kill them (maybe) will also shut down your kidneys. Thanks a lot, Purell  (nytimes.com)	(278)
		Today, Microsoft plans to begin asking users if they want to use Internet Explorer or another browser. Apparently, no one in Europe has heard of downloading Opera, Firefox, Safari or lynx  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(55)

		Al Gore comes out of his hole, sees his shadow and decides to write a 3 page Op-Ed entitled "So What's A Couple of Mistakes and Coverups? I Still Think The Sky is Falling"  (nytimes.com)	(232)
		Comedian Rush Limbaugh applies smackdown to whiny ingrates who can't afford dentures. Go gettum, Rushbo  (crooksandliars.com)	(210)

		Planning on going tobogganing this weekend? Better make sure that you have all the safety rules down. To help you learn them, here's world class tobogganer and bass player Geddy Lee  (youtube.com)	(22)
		Who caused the economic meltdown? You guessed it: Hippies  (abcnews.go.com)	(135)
		Problem: County running out of money. Solution: Shake down the local hardware store for giving out free donuts and coffee without a health permit  (vcstar.com)	(84)
(MaineToday.com)		120mph in Dad's Hyundai earns you the Maine State Police "Speeder Of The Week" award. Must have going down a really big hill  (onlinesentinel.com)	(93)

		Vince Carter sets world record by making 86 foot shot. Sitting down  (youtube.com)	(32)
		71 year old grandfather of 9 wins Apple's billionth song download contest  (rollingstone.com)	(50)
		Canada lays the smackdown on the USA in gold medal hockey match, much like in the War of 1812 when they burned down the White House  (sports.yahoo.com)	(211)

		Having solved the crushing deficit, high unemployment, and miserable education, the Tennessee legislature gets down to the crucial vote: Whether to allow fish tanks in barber shops  (tennessean.com)	(31)
(Pew Pew Pew)		Support for labor unions among Americans, which was as high as 58 percent in 2007, is down to 41 percent. A spokesman for unions is expected to respond after his break    (people-press.org)	(134)
		Norway's men's hockey team has a guy on it that is referred to as "the Norwegian Hobbit Wizard". Can't you just smell that testosterone (third entry down)  (nhl.com)	(1005)
		Yet another reason to avoid taking a cruise: over 450 crew members and passengers came down with very...unpleasant symptoms  (consumerist.com)	(103)
		The media finally discover "Downfall" parodies. You know, this is a good idea for a "Downfall" parody  (online.wsj.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		He's finally given us up, let us down  (neowin.net)	(156)
		Matt Damon and Jake Gyllenhaal turned down Sam Worthington's role in "Avatar." Damon I can see, he's got a career, but Jake, man, when James Cameron calls you, you need to answer it  (cinematical.com)	(107)

		If you find yourself running down the street grabbing drums and kicking the rear of a dancing dragon only to find a boy inside, you're either an angry politician or on shrooms  (dailymail.co.uk)	(53)
		Pixar turns down "Newt." They got better    (denofgeek.com)	(73)
		Physicist calls on Hollywood to tone down the fanciful science in movies and restrict themselves to just one scientific flaw per film. Also have intermissions every 12 parsecs so people can use the restroom    (news.bbc.co.uk)	(88)
		Windows 7 was your idea, right?  (collegehumor.com)	(30)
(Ocala.com)		In case you neglected to mark it down on your calendar, the annual Air Potato Round-Up is this weekend  (ocala.com)	(27)
		Emerge from your Kingdom of Shadows and join the DC Farkers on Friday, March 5th as we get liquored up at Harry's and then see Troll 2 at E Street Cinema  (fark.com)	(10)

		SNL writer and John Belushi's widow are on a mission from God to ruin The Blues Brothers again  (jam.canoe.ca)	(85)
		Hands down, the most adorable 911 call you'll ever hear- 5 year old Savannah has crisis management skills we should all envy  (youtube.com)	(38)
		Union and liberal groups decry "small, puny" $15 billion jobs bill, want Congress to shake taxpayers upside-down until at least $180 billion falls out  (thehill.com)	(211)
		Need to cool down? Race down a hill on your nipples and get the 14,000 strong crowd mad (some pics NSFW)  (thelocal.de)	(224)

		Calm down, tinfoil-hat-wearing wingnuts: Those blacked-out sections of the government's UFO reports were just the bits where they were calling you tinfoil-hat-wearing wingnuts  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(75)
(Some Canuck)		"The witness, who wished to remain anonymous, said he had just parked his vehicle when he observed several women crouching down, appearing to have a conversation with the Grand Prix's tail lights"  (windsorstar.com)	(48)

		Worst Olympics Ever? In spite of complaints by the British Press, a quick look back at other events puts the difficulties in Vancouver well down the list  (cbc.ca)	(138)
		Illegal immigrant siblings who risked their lives for four years going undercover for ICE, helping to bring down human smuggling and prostitution rings, won't be deported by ICE as a thank you after all  (news.yahoo.com)	(53)
		Despite proclamations from Randian economists of rampant "Zimbabwe-style hyper-inflation", inflation remains in check. Maybe this Bernanke guy knows what the hell he's doing?  (miamiherald.com)	(89)

		CPAC speaker turns into wrestling bad guy, says CPAC shouldn't have allowed gay conservative group to attend, challenges Ultimate Warrior to showdown  (mediamatters.org)	(271)
(nbcolympics.com)		Koreans on Apollo Ohno: "He should fall down on the ice and have (figure skater) Kim Yu-na land on his disgusting face after she performs a triple axel."  (nbcolympics.com)	(82)
		"Family Guy" to end the season with an hour-long Star Wars episode, with the only change being Princess Leia now has Down Syndrome  (weblogs.variety.com)	(84)
		DC Comics' new bosses sit down and discuss how to make DC number one again  (io9.com)	(57)
		UN cafeteria shut down after mystery substance found. Swedish ambassador's lutefisk and Thai ambassador's durian fruit ruled out as suspects  (news.yahoo.com)	(87)
		It turns out that the only reason Windows 7 looks like a huge memory hog is because Windows 7 knows nothing else is using it at the time  (arstechnica.com)	(141)
		Sarah Palin just got über-burned by Down's Syndrome actress Andrea Friedman  (huffingtonpost.com)	(986)
		Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett breaks foot, expected to only throw 'short' 75-yard touchdown passes in spring instead of the usual 100-yard ones  (sports.espn.go.com)	(25)
		Utah Senator doesn't want teh gheys 'shoving it down his throat'  (thinkprogress.org)	(54)

		Today's mangled metaphor: Contractors find it hard to jump through hoops when they're bogged down by red tape. In other words, you can't make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke because that's a horse of a different stripe  (abcnews.go.com)	(42)
		You know how Walmart claims that in a down economy consumers will flock to their stores because of the lower prices? Yeah, about that  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com)	(48)
		Just because he is running down the luge track extremely fast doesn't mean he is a brainiac. Olympic champion breaks tooth on medal  (thelocal.de)	(24)
		Good News: Windows 7 works well. Bad News: Because it's a resource whore  (computerworld.com)	(244)
(US Magazine)		You may have to sit down for this one: Jersey Shore's JWoww and Snooki admit they are not Italian  (usmagazine.com)	(98)
		Upside: you're living in the second most affordable city in the nation. Downside: it's Detroit  (money.cnn.com)	(94)

		Glenn Beck says Rachel Maddow called him a liar without any proof. Which is sort of true, because he cut out the part of the clip where she provided the proof  (watching-tv.ew.com)	(390)
		"Judge Judy" has been TV's number one court show for 700 weeks. So shut up and sit down and watch it, buster  (nypost.com)	(58)
		Fire chief warns of city burning down due to snow  (indystar.com)	(48)
		Windows security update blue-screens computers that have a malware rootkit installed. Fark: Rootkit authors issue a fix, so you don't have to uninstall their rootkit  (blogs.pcmag.com)	(46)
		Mi ro oft anoi ts A &T as pref rred 'Wi dows P one 7' ca r er. Th s is ... news for pe ple st ll us ng AT&T  (pcworld.com)	(144)
		US women's hockey team drops 13-0 county jail beatdown on Russia. US credits a "S. Palin" with superior long-range "we can see you from here" scouting, and uber-secret "write plays on hand" maneuver  (news.yahoo.com)	(50)

		52% on Obama for second term: OH HELL NO. The other 48% hasn't put the Kool-Aid down  (thehill.com)	(504)
		Negative, Ghostrider. The drawbridge is down and the channel is full  (liveleak.com)	(60)
		30 Dumb Inventions: From a curved-barrel machine gun to a strapless, backless, wireless, support-less bra... even a baby cage so you can suspend your infant in a wire cage outside of your window to save room in your apartment  (life.com)	(138)
		Having solved all the city's other crimes, New York police are now cracking down on subway riders who put their feet up on the seats  (nypost.com)	(86)
		Aerosmith is co-headlining the Download Festival, fueling rumors that Steven Tyler may reunite with the band, depriving the world of the awesomeness of a Billy Idol-fronted Aerosmith  (starpulse.com)	(21)

(Some Steve)		Apple does its part: Al-Qaeda operatives, dodging drone attacks while listening to Britney Spears songs downloaded with iTunes, are in violation of the terms and conditions  (concurringopinions.com)	(13)
		Rachel Maddow's incredible week: How one woman is trying to change this nation's trajectory  (dailykos.com)	(592)
		How Doctor Who tried to bring down a British Prime Minister  (denofgeek.com)	(85)
		East wins down-to-the-wire All-Star game behind stellar performances by James, Wade, and DWIGHT HOWARD HIT A THREE? Must... not... use... Newsflash  (espn.go.com)	(45)
		General Stanley McChrystal apologizes to Hamid Karzai for raining down fiery hot freedom and democracy on 12 Afghan civilians. "Oops, our bad, dude"  (bloomberg.com)	(32)

The Brittany Murphy Foundation that has been set up by her widower and her mother is not, in fact, a charity, but a nice way for the two of them to make some serious cash off a dead woman's fame  (contactmusic.com)

(49)

		"It's Microsoft's Game to Lose with Windows Mobile 7" says columnist, ignoring marketshare figures of 20% in the US and 8% worldwide as he buries his nose between Ballmer's buttocks  (pcworld.com)	(103)
(Eagle Gazette)		Court tells criminal to go three blocks down the street and get his monitoring ankle bracelet installed. Next time, it might work better if they escorted him  (lancastereaglegazette.com)	(32)
		Airborne Laser successfully shoots down missile during test  (news.cnet.com)	(55)
		If you are going to vandalize a window, make sure there aren't over 100 cops inside staring at you as you try to create your work of art. At least one of them can run faster than you  (sfgate.com)	(40)
		The Human Bird - Flying Down The Matterhorn  (youtube.com)	(26)

		NH state rep gets down and dirty with same-sex marriage: "We're talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement."  (wonkette.com)	(343)
		Georgian luger dies during training run in Vancouver. Geez, one lousy snowstorm and now you Yanks think you can handle sliding downhill at 90mp/h  (cbc.ca)	(368)
		In a video that raises more questions than answers, a "woman" chases a rat down the toilet  (fox4kc.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Hospital staff, nurses, discovering that you can't keep Bill Clinton down  (www1.voanews.com)	(24)
		To prevent the snowflakes from getting hurt feelings, NCAA proposes taking away touchdowns from taunting players  (msn.foxsports.com)	(95)
		"Don't Stop Believin'" is the only pre-2000s track among iTunes 25 most downloaded tracks ev  (rollingstone.com)	(116)

(Moon Knight Rules)		Well, now Marvel is just getting downright sadistic with their Secret Avengers lineup. They've revealed two new images, one of which has breasts. My guess: either Scarlet Witch or Blob  (newsarama.com)	(73)
		Police to pose as burglars by prowling in the middle of the night attempting to break in windows and doors then waking homeowners to give firm lectures if they fail test. What could possibly go wrong?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(241)
		Sen. Tom Coburn on the recent D.C. Snowmaggedon shutdown: "The best thing is we're not passing any legislation, which ultimately will save the government a lot of money,"  (foxnews.com)	(113)
		"The girl gamer is a rare breed of lady. Like a ninja, or a flying unicorn, she remains perpetually shrouded in myth and/or shadow"  (pcworld.idg.com.au)	(320)
(Some Guy)		In order to boost ratings for sports that few people have any interest in, Olympic organizers have decided to have lynxes chase the downhill skiers  (chicagobreakingsports.com)	(43)
(Some News from Norway)		"How does it feel to be a 19 year old top ranking chess player?" "The downside is that you have to answer a question like that"  (newsinenglish.no)	(41)

		Everybody's been so concerned about the writing on Palin's hand that they missed the stupid about 3 inches further down her arm  (dailykos.com)	(265)
		During the first six months of the Obama administration, press briefings averaged 189 laughs per month (LPM) . In the last six months, its down to 89 LPM. In related news, someone keeps track of the number of LPM in a press briefing  (politico.com)	(91)
		Police find Explosive Ordnance Disposal specialist too drunk to explain why he was throwing garbage can lids through his hotel windows  (nwfdailynews.com)	(43)
		Iraq War veteran Lt. Dan Choi, who came out to Rachel Maddow, has been reinstated in the United States Army. You are all safer tonight  (cbsnews.com)	(270)
		When the police spot you stealing a backhoe, don't try to escape by driving it away down the freeway. You'll just dig yourself in deeper  (azcentral.com)	(14)

		Drink a beer that's hard to put down. Drink a beer that comes with a thick layer of extra foam. Drink a Böner  (blogs.chron.com)	(27)
		Tony Todd sits down for an interview and discusses his performances on shows like "24" and "Chuck," his work with Michael Bay and Oliver Stone, and his most famous role as Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candym-  (denofgeek.com)	(44)
		UN very upset that some Haitian hospitals, which are treating patients with donated medical supplies and volunteer doctors, are still sending patients a bill afterwards. US insurance companies, on the other hand, are downright impressed  (abcnews.go.com)	(107)
		Eating frogs, scorpions, lizards then washing them down with cobra blood. Survival in the jungle? Celebrity reality show? Nope. U.S. Marines taking part in Asian war games  (dailymail.co.uk)	(76)
		Teen crashes car into school and then drives down hall, detained for not having pass  (denverpost.com)	(40)

(Some Guy)		New Captain America comic focuses on hunting down racist, white male tea partiers  (publiusforum.com)	(423)
(Founding Bloggers)		The mocking of Sarah Palin over "Handgate" is standard, arugula-chomping left-wing elitism. The real crime for them isn't that she wrote down notes, but that she wrote them on her hand, something an unsophisticated hick would do  (foundingbloggers.com)	(556)
		Although she lives in a state that allows gay marriage, TV pundit Rachel Maddow says she and her girlfriend don't want to get married, but like having the option of putting the Subaru in both their names if they want    (usaweekend.com)	(132)

		Scottish pensioner awarded judo's highest rank - you can step on his lawn, but you'll be leaving quickly, backwards and upside down  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(8)
		Tennessee city taking down red light cameras. Because of public outrage? Nope. It's because the camera company wasn't making enough money  (chattanoogan.com)	(102)
(Some Guy)		Dr. Phil goes Full Douchebag after hearing Brittany Murphy's widower had done interviews with people other than him. "I've never seen Dr. Phil so angry"  (peoplemagazinedaily.com)	(63)

		"Watching Howard [The Duck] is an experience often compared with being tied down and having a family of magical leprechauns s--t in your eye sockets for an hour and a half"  (cracked.com)	(77)
		"At the beginning of the downturn, the Transportation Department had one person making $170,000 or more a year; now it has 1,690 making that." Enjoy your ramen  (article.nationalreview.com)	(64)
		"This Year's 25 Geekiest 25th Anniversaries": From the Amiga 1000 to MacGyver and Windows 1.0  (networkworld.com)	(111)
		You know who else liked to regularly gulp down young bull semen?  (dailymail.co.uk)	(51)

(Some Chick)		Woman in Ft. Worth upset with the state of the country show her distress by flying the American flag upside down on a 60' pole at her business. "It is an outcry of the danger our country is in."  (kbtx.com)	(181)
		Relive the exciting rise of the Palins from small-state First Family to national phenomenon with this searchable database of emails sent or received by "Shadow Governor" Todd Palin between January '07 and September '08  (crivellawest.net)	(63)
		Brittany Murphy's creepy widower Simon Monjack said to be "stunned" that her cause of death doesn't jibe with his impeccably prepared PR campaign  (jam.canoe.ca)	(34)
		They that go down to the sea on horses, that do business in little shrimps  (guardian.co.uk)	(7)
		And so an end so long delayed has come to pass at last: after 48 years of endless fire, $42 million in federal relocation funding and 500 buildings razed, Centralia PA is down to just 5 houses and a dozen residents  (abcnews.go.com)	(223)
		Anne Hathaway: "Open up. More, more, ever so lightly... Now, slow it down ... just a little bit"  (omg.yahoo.com)	(160)
		"Hey, whered'ya get that burger?" "Down at the golden humps"  (reuters.com)	(59)

		It puts the lotion down its pants  (breitbart.com)	(55)
		What's causing a rift between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie... besides Jennifer Aniston standing outside their window and screaming "BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAD"  (nowmagazine.co.uk)	(56)
		Dow Jones Industrial Average dips below 10,000 for the first time since November while gold plunges on news of a stronger dollar. Everybody... panic?  (money.cnn.com)	(81)
		The one guy standing between us and a "Watchmen Babies" movie has just stepped down  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(81)
		Old blame game: Blame Bush for the economy tanking. New blame game: Blame it on Europe  (cnbc.com)	(49)
		Conservative blogger reportedly run down in DC crosswalk by Secret Service, issued jaywalking ticket in hospital. Don't think they're not keeping score, brother  (media.nationalreview.com)	(118)
		Please stay healthy, Justice Kennedy: Supreme Court justices John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg may step down soon to let Obama appoint their liberal replacements  (abcnews.go.com)	(150)
		Mac OSX is far less secure than Windows  (theinquirer.net)	(163)
(Some Guy)		Windows is far less secure than Mac OSX  (macdailynews.com)	(52)

		Child porn victim, raped at age 8, would like to be paid for all those pictures and videos people have downloaded of her  (boingboing.net)	(570)
		ADA stands up for disabled rights, shuts down awesome burger joint  (sacbee.com)	(81)
		Black Francis says new record which features song called "When I Go Down On You" is about "sucking at the only thing that matters"  (gawker.com)	(15)
		Indonesian man's cigarette explodes, destroying his teeth. Doctors downgrade his condition to "British"  (huffingtonpost.com)	(53)
		President Obama fulfills promise to eliminate corporate cronyism in federal government. Just kidding, his weatherization chief has been giving handouts to her business exec husband's tiny window company  (townhall.com)	(58)

		Best.window.washer.EVAR  (liveleak.com)	(39)
		TESCO is cracking down on under age quiche sales as one may use a knife to make slices. Safety first  (dailymail.co.uk)	(141)
(Some Guy)		Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow. Sorry folks, there'll be six more weeks of winter  (post-gazette.com)	(255)
		Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow. Sorry folks, there'll be six more weeks of winter  (pennlive.com)	(98)
		Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow. Sorry folks, there'll be six more weeks of winter  (weblogs.baltimoresun.com)	(60)

		Fearing that this week's football game might overshadow His Peytonness, ESPN gives us "18 Things You Didn't Know About Peyton Manning"  (sports.espn.go.com)	(55)
		Joe Johnston, director of "The First Avenger: Captain America," sits down an reassures fans that the movie will start off during WWII and thankfully skip the 60's and 70's storylines  (cinematical.com)	(79)
		50 years after four African-American students sat down at a segregated lunch counter in a Greensboro, North Carolina Woolworth's store, one question remains. What's a Woolworth?  (myfoxdc.com)	(265)
		Dancing Owl Breaks It Down. Ya Rly  (break.com)	(31)

A Montana family responds to criticism and harassement for flying their American flag upside down to indicate our country is in a "state of emergency."  (billingsgazette.com)

(178)

		After giving an inspiring State of the Union speech and sitting down with Republicans this week, President Obama goes to a basketball game, takes over analyst duties, and boldly tells the audience that Duke sucks. What can this guy not do?  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(56)
		Republican voters are "like a French Revolution in reverse in which the workers come pouring down the street screaming more power to the aristocracy."  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(307)
		Tree-sitting protestors climb down after nine days. Wimps. Why, back in subby's day, we'd stay up for weeks, months even. And we liked it. Damn kids these days, can't even follow through on a simple protest  (upi.com)	(39)
		Condition of missing lottery winner, formerly declared by Fark to be 'drunk on a beach in Jamaica,' downgraded to 'buried under some guy's driveway'  (cnn.com)	(42)

(Eating Our Words)		If you own any of these useless kitchen gadgets, you should put your common sense card down the garbage disposal  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(527)
		Microsoft profit beats on strong Windows 7 sales. Yeah, I read that wrong too  (news.yahoo.com)	(98)

		Police officer witnesses man on fire, leaps into action by spraying him down liberally with an industrial-sized can of pepper spray  (oregonlive.com)	(138)
		Bernanke confirmed. Pass out the party favors and put a TARP down  (news.yahoo.com)	(134)
		Conservatives are born scared of their own shadow. Liberals don't scare as easily. Here is the science proving what everyone has inuitively known for years  (wired.com)	(426)
		WWE wrestler Hurricane Helms accused of laying the smackdown on a woman in the early morning hours after a show in Kentucky  (tmz.com)	(108)
		Turns out Teabugger-Pimptriot James O'Keefe wasn't trying to tap Sen. Landrieu's phones after all. He was just trying to shut down the entire building's phone system by gaining access under false pretenses and cutting the wires  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(372)
		Inside his jacket, officers reportedly found "a large knife, a window-punch tool and several pairs of female underwear."  (suntimes.com)	(59)
		Maureen Dowd has a new crush  (nytimes.com)	(94)
		Portland City Hall evacuated due to burnt bagel, surrounding area put into lox down  (denverpost.com)	(35)

		FOX News' campaign to take down Howard Zinn went a little too well... RIP  (boston.com)	(140)
(Some Fat Cat)		In the saddest story of the recession yet, the price on Ken Lay's luxury Houston apartment is down to $11.9M (w/ pics)  (swamplot.com)	(38)
		Passaic County SWAT team gets a $400,000 armored vehicle. It's airtight, with a 10-hour air supply, making it especially useful for driving down the NJ Turnpike  (nj.com)	(102)
		Canadian government upset that police hired neutral polling company to analyse gun owners' opinions of gun registry, instead of smashing down doors and asking themselves  (calgaryherald.com)	(179)
		Man fleeing police leaps through third story window, bounces off awning, hits ground running, runs until he has them where he wants them, turns around and draws sword to take on 20 officers with guns drawn  (bostonherald.com)	(116)

		Fox News has shoved CNN's catch phrase "The Most Trusted Name In News" right down their throats. Butt hurt, this direction »»»»»»»  (politico.com)	(377)
		Remember that pretend pimp that "brought down" ACORN? He was just arrested trying to wiretap a Senator's office  (nola.com)	(819)
		The toilet seat up/down debate has come to an end  (youtube.com)	(74)
(Some Guy)		Wilco offering downloads of live performances to help Haiti, okay that's actually pretty cool  (spinner.com)	(50)
		Consensus was that the hole in the ozone threatened the globe. Turns out the consensus is wrong: It's actually helping to slow global warming in the hemisphere where everybody stands upside-down  (news.scotsman.com)	(119)

		Away in Manilla/mom on her sick bed/The little Lord Tebow poked out his sweet head/James Dobson and wingnuts looked down where he lay/Here's 2.8 million to take choice away    (hosted.ap.org)	(78)
		This week's NHL Power Rankings. I think Edmonton is into the wine down there  (tsn.ca)	(123)
		Good news; the big banks will award themselves $39.9 billion in bonuses for fiscal year ending 2009, down from $44.7 billion in 2008  (consumerist.com)	(114)
		Polling group breaks down the health care bill section by section. It turns out that almost every individual piece of it is overwhelmingly popular  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(651)

(Mich News)		"It's more than a little ironic that Democrats praised Dred Scott when it was handed down over a hundred years ago, yet now stand opposed to fundamental freedoms such as free speech today."  (michnews.com)	(294)
		Out late at night? Check. Standing around minding your own business? Check. Being Black? Oh yeah that's a beat down by white cops  (kdka.com)	(173)

		Republicans shouldn't do their touchdown dance while they're still on their own 41-yard line  (news.yahoo.com)	(91)
		While the world has no need for a remake of "A Star is Born," someone has gotten it into his head it needs to happen, and Robert Downey Jr. and Beyonce are the ones to make it so  (contactmusic.com)	(20)
		Happy News: Michigan unemployment creeps below15%, according to Department of Eeyore, Sad Trombone, and Debbie Downer  (abcnews.go.com)	(158)
(Some Guy)		Big banks have already figured out how to completely ignore Obama's proposed crackdown on big banks  (businessinsider.com)	(140)
		The Penguins go down, as the young Capitals score twice in 53 seconds. Pens overpowered by the Caps PP. Surprisingly, no cock-punching was involved  (nhl.com)	(113)
		You're setting up a network for a county government. Which OS do you choose: a) Windows, b) Mac, or c) Cogsdale?  (wtsp.com)	(247)
		Problem: The security services have got wise to the fact that the bomb-detection dowsing rods you're selling them don't actually work. Solution: Bring out a newer model "that has flashing lights"  (theregister.co.uk)	(88)
		Nobody's died on live TV in a while, and ratings are down, so NASCAR's going to increase horsepower at Daytona and let drivers mix it up a little  (sports.espn.go.com)	(66)
		Presenting a couple dozen gun enthusiasts getting their collective asses kicked while firing a .557 rifle. Well, except for the last guy; he's down with it  (liveleak.com)	(48)

		Bioshock 2 will have SecuROM DRM, online authentication, 5-game install limit, and require Games For Windows Live to save games. Except for, you know, the pirated copies which are already out  (arstechnica.com)	(213)
		Health care bill needs to slim down, eat healthier, try to reduce stress  (abcnews.go.com)	(70)
		Just like everything else in Detroit, the Pistons may be going up for sale. Package may include Palace of Auburn Hills, DTE Energy Music Theatre, and Meadow Brook Music Festival so potential buyers could get something useful out of the deal  (sports.yahoo.com)	(35)
		Health researchers have some bad news... are you sitting down? Well, that's the bad news  (news.yahoo.com)	(42)

		New Microsoft Windows exploit confirmed to work in Windows 7. And Server2008. And Vista. And XP. And Server2003. And Windows 2000. And Windows ME. And 2000 Server. And Windows 98. And Windows NT4. And windows 95. Testing on Windows 3.11 pending  (theregister.co.uk)	(155)
(Some Guy)		Each month the equivalent of seven large swimming pools of grease make their way down Seattle's drains, proving hippies do take baths once in awhile  (mnn.com)	(126)
		With Brown's victory, odds of health care reform have been downgraded to somewhere between "Cubs win World Series" and "Submitter gets a girlfriend"    (slate.com)	(404)

(Some Guy)		Man recreates Grand Theft Auto in Virginia. And yes, shooting down police helicopters is involved  (wset.com)	(255)
		Sharapova's upset loss overshadowed by Sharapova's choice of outfit for said loss. I mean, who wears peacock? Honestly?  (sports.yahoo.com)	(53)
		Does Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark Goatee at Golden Globes Mean 'Thor' Cameo?  (backseatcuddler.com)	(33)
		Joe Perry says Aerosmith has "let their fans down." However, this apology only covers recent months, not the past thirty-five years  (contactmusic.com)	(21)
		That hands-free cell phone will be a blessing when you need both hands to shoot out your SUV's windows after you drive into a lake  (abcnews.go.com)	(43)
(Cambridge News)		"Hi, that 19th century 'Downing Street' sign you're auctioning? It's probably from Downing Street here in Cambridge, not London. Oh, and while you're on? Give it back"  (cambridge-news.co.uk)	(27)

		NJ passes law requiring chain restaurants to put calories counts on menus. Including for that double mango margarita explosion you've been sucking down, rummy  (nj.com)	(126)
		News cameraman misses money-shot of a child being rescued from rubble in Haiti because he put the camera down in order to help dig her out. Subby has something in his eye  (themercury.com.au)	(163)
(New York Magazine)		A bunch of signs in downtown New York are showing both Walk and Don't Walk at the same time. What could possibly go wrong?  (nymag.com)	(115)

		For sale: Used space shuttle; asking price: $28.8 million. Marked down for quick sale  (google.com)	(58)
(Recursivity)		Old: Over-zealous copyright owners issuing DMCA takedown notices. New hotness: Creationists issue notices on critics for showing their logo. As a wise man once said, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."  (recursed.blogspot.com)	(64)

(Some Guy)		"The story tumbled down Internet rabbit holes I didn't know existed, such as Fark.com. As the comments piled up, I became afraid to answer the phone, open the mailbox"  (www2.macleans.ca)	(529)
		Arizona-New Orleans. Baltimore-Indianapolis. Settle down and order in, it is time for your Divisional Playoffs thread  (sports-ak.espn.go.com)	(3239)
(NYMag)		"You couldn't get a better compliment as a director." - Oliver Hirschbiegel, director of "Downfall", on YouTube Hitler meme  (nymag.com)	(83)
(Some Guy)		It's a slow news day so here's an article telling you it's time to take down your holiday decorations  (carrollcounty.com)	(37)
		Microsoft confirms that accessing critical data in a cloud when your net is down is like getting to level 4 in Mario Brothers the first time you picked up the controller  (theregister.co.uk)	(81)
		Lucille Rembert started to cry as she looked down at her husband's grave; another woman had been buried next to him - in her spot. "I said, 'Oh no, not again...'. "  (tampabay.com)	(61)

		If you're in a courthouse and you're running from police, don't try to escape them by trying to jump through a bulletproof window  (wbbm780.com)	(34)
		Dave Cutcliffe turns down lucrative Tennessee football job to remain at...Duke?  (abcnews.go.com)	(73)
		Before tomorrow's epic Ravens beatdown on the Colts, here's a hilarious look back at Peyton Manning turning into a crybaby and screaming at his teammates. What a pro  (youtube.com)	(263)
		Roger Ebert lays a smackdown on Rush  (rogerebert.suntimes.com)	(690)

		Lemony Snicket author speaks to grade school, asks one kid "Is life getting you down? Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?"  (timesonline.co.uk)	(72)
		Day 2 of the Leno Wars - rundown (in video clips) of all the late night hosts chiming in  (tv.gawker.com)	(134)

(Houston Press)		Despite being #36 in the nation in high school graduation rates and #49 in SAT scores, Texas's school system is apparently so perfect that it turned down $700 million in federal stimulus funds  (blogs.houstonpress.com)	(307)
		Mother goes to school board meeting to complain about boys pulling down her 13-year-old daughter's pants. Superintendent: Was she wearing a thong? Fark: Mom gets arrested for normal parent's reaction to the question  (myfoxny.com)	(367)
(Some Guy)		University of Tennessee players handle Lane Kiffin's abrupt departure to USC well. Just kidding: "(Expletive) him. Let's burn this (expletive) down. I don't care"  (govolsxtra.com)	(128)

		Orange man charged in New Jersey shooting. That certainly narrows it down to the entire state    (nj.com)	(146)
(Meh)		System of a Down expected to reunite this year. Their legion of fan said to be excited  (nme.com)	(53)
		Fears of premature explosion shut down Morehead port  (news.yahoo.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		Photoshop this touchdown  (af.mil)	(47)
(Sci-Fi Wire)		Country-by-country breakdown of Avatar's $1.3 billion gross. Apparently, the French and Russians really love giant blue cat people  (scifiwire.com)	(90)
		Ex-Guantanamo prison guard tracks down former inmates on Facebook and arranges reunion to talk about old times  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(71)
		Man whey over alcohol limit creams into the front windows of a dairy. Owner unhurt butter store was udderly destroyed. Cheese  (nzherald.co.nz)	(36)

		Health care bill is "holding on by a thread". Cheap woven thread like the insurance companies want you to use instead of good medical quality stitching thread  (cnbc.com)	(189)
		Country hatches plan to crack down on egg-laying chickens, family to shell out money over easy appeal, tries to see the sunny side up  (sacbee.com)	(38)
		The next time you decide to climb into a treehouse to search through your spouse's mobile phone, make very sure you can get back down  (theregister.co.uk)	(25)

(JC Floridian)		Mayor decides to take out city's brand new fire truck out for an impromptu joy ride. If you guessed that he ends up rolling it over in a ditch, come on down and collect your prize  (www2.jcfloridan.com)	(91)
		Michael Steele thinks it would be best for everyone if Reid would just step down as Senate Leader, and go away, and stop doing stuff  (washingtonpost.com)	(149)
		France's highest court rules that man couldn't be fired for downloading porn to his work computer  (theregister.co.uk)	(122)
		Elton John turned down Courtney Love's Hole  (contactmusic.com)	(35)

		Iranian President Ahmadinejad slams tiny fist down, demands compensation for WWI and WWII. No, seriously  (foxnews.com)	(193)
		Self-important ass-douche who caused the shutdown of Newark Liberty Airport has been identified and arrested. He's a doctoral student at Rutgers who had to be at the gym in 26 minutes  (suntimes.com)	(366)
		Take one Mercedes Benz SLS AMG, add a tunnel and a healthy portion of speed. Result: Driving upside down. (the money shot starts at about 2:00 in)  (youtube.com)	(84)
(Some Guy)		Madison's Smart Studios, where Butch Vig recorded Nirvana's "Nevermind" and the Smashing Pumpkins' "Gish," is shutting down... because someone finally realized the '90s ended 10 years ago  (expressmilwaukee.com)	(48)

(kste)		I won't have Grandpa's boner shoved down my throat  (kste.com)	(163)
		Crabby neighbors complain about Norah Jones' home-improvement plans, including windows and a swimming pool. In other news, some people have a problem with Norah Jones in a swimsuit  (nypost.com)	(32)
		Andy, Barney, and the Darlings perform "Boil Them Cabbage Down" with special guest vocals by... Gilligan?  (youtube.com)	(23)
		Upset over criticism of his running of the RNC, Michael Steele says "STFU or fire me". Countdown to replacement at T-minus 10, 9, 8  (crooksandliars.com)	(106)
		After ruining music, MTV is set to destroy one of the best horror movie of all times by turning it into a PG watered-down TV series  (slashfilm.com)	(71)

		John McCain's reelection campaign basically boils down to "Obama is on my lawn, and I want him to get off."  (cbsnews.com)	(78)
		Obama counterterrorism chief who remained on ski slopes after learning of Christmas Day Underwear Bomber may find it's all downhill from here  (foxnews.com)	(163)
		"A Department of Natural Resources report says hunters shot 10 buildings. That's down from 25 in 2008, 19 in 2007 and 15 in 2006"  (twincities.com)	(136)

		Finally, Popov drinkers will have someone to look down on  (cbc.ca)	(59)
		Windows 7 allows you to wallhack, teabag and be indestructible with its Godmode  (news.cnet.com)	(164)
		It turns out our Solar System is in a galactic minority class. Maybe that's why alien vacationers roll up their windows when they pass through  (sciencedaily.com)	(39)

Woman puts fist through McDonald's drive-thru window. Claims McNuggets Rage  (thesmokinggun.com)

(128)

		Passengers, stuck in Newark terminal on security lockdown for 6 hours, amuse themselves by singing the final chorus of "Hey Jude"  (liveleak.com)	(45)
		Windows market share slide of several years continutes, plummeting all the way to 92.2%  (computerworld.com)	(156)
		An inside job from both the Colts and Bengals third string help the playoff bound New York Jets take down two powerful structures for the first time since 9/11  (sports-ak.espn.go.com)	(162)
		Security breach causes lockdown at Newark Airport. Hundreds in danger of suffering a terrible fate: being stuck in Newark  (msnbc.msn.com)	(115)

		After less than three weeks in theaters, "Avatar" has hit $1 billion in reciepts worldwide, and shows no signs of slowing down  (abcnews.go.com)	(292)
		Rich folks have a 12-month window in which to die tax-free. What could possibl [ack] ... [gasp] .... plug it back in .... [thud]  (nydailynews.com)	(148)

		America's downsizing continues - Inventor of Quarter Pounder now 27 grams lighter  (thestate.com)	(123)
(Some Guy)		If you have any idea why the snow coming down in the Philly area last night was pink, the National Weather Service would love to hear it  (phillyburbs.com)	(79)
		It's like the Jets are afraid the fans are going to strip Giants Stadium down in its final game and burn the remains in a drunken orgy with the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa  (nydailynews.com)	(35)
		Dick Clark's Awkward 2010 New Year Countdown  (youtube.com)	(100)
		2009 end of year wrap up: S&P 500 up 23%, Dow up 19%, Nasdaq up 44% and jobless claims fall to lowest level since July 2008  (money.cnn.com)	(99)

		Nebraska holds Arizona to one first down in the first half and 109 yards of offense in first Holiday Bowl shutout. In other news, the Pac-10 is acting like the Pac-10 again  (omaha.com)	(64)
		You play on a football team that's having one of its worst seasons in years. Do you C) insult and blame a local football analyst? "This is coming from a guy that's got 22 career touchdowns and 35 interceptions."  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(19)
		Rachel Maddow tears into Dick  (dailykos.com)	(450)

		Man jumps out of third-story window, murders dog, runs naked through tennis club, covers himself in coffee. The Aristocrats  (nbclosangeles.com)	(63)
		Like the iPhone, the Nexus One will be expensive at launch. Unlike the iPhone, the Nexus One won't have features locked down, won't require expensive data plans, won't force you to stick with one carrier, and will actually work  (wired.com)	(84)
		Well, you can add "NCIS" and "NCIS: Los Angeles" to the ever-growing list of shows Breitbart wants boycotted by conservatives, so they're basically down to the Home Shopping Network and "Hee Haw" at this point  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(248)
(Some Egghead)		NYC soup kitchen gets $1100 can of caviar to feed the downtrodden, now will learn which fortified wine might go with that  (dnainfo.com)	(234)
		When your car is sliding downhill on black ice, do you: a.) Stay off the brakes and try to turn into the skid. b.) Do nothing and trust in the protective embrace of the steel-safety cage. c.) BAIL THE FARK OUT  (boingboing.net)	(77)
		If you steal a diesel truck, it's probably not a good idea to fill it with unleaded gas and then call the police when it breaks down  (msnbc.msn.com)	(60)

(Some Guy)		You may want to sit down for this, but there's an excellent possibility that the Jon Gosselin break-in was a publicity stunt  (fancast.com)	(20)
		While the Shuttle program winds down and NASA sees an uncertain future, a small half-ton probe crosses the halfway point to Pluto on its way to interstellar space  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(56)
		Inside the Boeing 787 Dreamliner: progressive LED, 65% larger windows, serrated engine nacelles, and motherfarkin' automated snake catcher  (edition.cnn.com)	(97)

		Debt in America: strategically default on your mortgage and downgrade from the SUV to a used Corolla. Debt in Egypt: sell a kidney for $2k to put food on the table. Ouch  (abcnews.go.com)	(127)
		White hat hackers stage their own version of the Zombie Apocalypse, killing 200,000 "zombies" by taking down the Mega D Bot-net  (news.yahoo.com)	(99)
(Some Guy)		Hey Dad, remember the Christmas when we went down to Taco Bell, got into a fight in the parking lot, and got arrested? Good times  (skunkpost.com)	(29)

		White House spokesman Mike Hammer issues strongly-worded statement on Iran, their recent oppression of the masses, and their shortage of the kind of blonde who'd make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window, sport  (news.yahoo.com)	(142)
		Urban Cryer to step down as head coach of Florida Gators. Lane Kiffin seen snickering in the corner  (cbssports.com)	(664)

		Ron Artest injured after tripping on a box and falling down a flight of stairs on Christmas. Kevin McCallister wanted for questioning  (nytimes.com)	(23)
		If you rob a fast-food joint, don't order a meal and sit down to eat it after holding the place up. "We've come across some stupid criminals in our time but this beats all," police marvel  (thesun.co.uk)	(55)

		When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, and realized the pickup truck was about to crash  (blog.al.com)	(10)
		95 years ago, British and German troops showed the world what life could be like if we'd all just put our guns down and shake hands, even if only for a day. Way to go, guys. Way to go  (history.com)	(176)
		Bunny takes down her Christmas tree and decoration because of the Senate health Care bill. Because of Hitler or Christmas is supposed to be God's holiday. Or something  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(307)
		Athens, GA singer-songwriter Vic Chesnutt in coma after apparent suicide attempt. UPDATE: several news sources now reporting condition downgraded to dead  (examiner.com)	(170)

(Some Guy)		A rundown of the creepiest and most frightening mall Santas of the year. It's a slideshow, but so worth it  (thescottishsun.co.uk)	(84)
		Cops find you cooking meth in your car. Do you: c) start a high speed chase, catch your car on fire, continue chase with smoke billowing from windows, STOP THE CAR, start again, catch on fire, wreck, fall out of the car and collapse?  (blog.al.com)	(55)
(Some Guy)		And the optimist of the year award goes to...Filipino mountain dweller Nelson Esquivel: "I will just run down when the volcano erupts"  (independent.ie)	(58)
		Someone leaves their bags of Christmas gifts on the subway you're riding on. Do you: A) Open the gifts and keep them B) Open the gifts and burn them C) Be a Christmas angel and track down the person who lost them  (wcbstv.com)	(77)
		When the cops are following you and the hood of your car flips up smashing your windshield, just hang your head out the driver's window and keep driving, because man, you're drunk  (abc.net.au)	(51)

		TSA agents discover the difficulty of conventional security measures on Santa's elves. "It was like a puzzle finding all the bells on each elf. My hands were covered in elf glitter after just the first pat-down"  (msnbc.msn.com)	(124)
(Some Guy)		The police were pulling over everyone driving down that sidewalk. That's profiling, which is of course, wrong  (summitdaily.com)	(39)
		On the ninth day of Christmas, a stranger gave to me, a hatchet through the window of my car  (myfoxdc.com)	(33)

		Plants want to live, too, so eating them is as murderous as ripping apart a live lamb with your teeth and tossing gobbets of its still-twitching flesh down your ravenous gullet  (nytimes.com)	(148)
		Star Trek: #1 at the box office, #1 on torrent websites. Naturally, Paramount is pressuing the FCC to crack down on the websites  (io9.com)	(184)
		9iu11ani's chances of running for any office go from 9-11% down to (ground) zero  (abclocal.go.com)	(63)

		Who or what is at fault in this traffic accident, caught on a homeowner's CCTV? (A) The fence (B) Placement of the stop sign (C) Motorist ignoring stop sign (D) The kid jumping up and down on an ice puddle  (liveleak.com)	(56)
		Mike Holmgren's decision to turn down Seahawks wasn't about the ten million dollars the Cleveland Browns will pay him to GM. It was about responsibility and noble stuff  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(31)
(Some Guy)		Stock markets eagerly await the annual 'Santa Claus rally.' Here comes the economics  (wdsu.com)	(5)
		Everyone seems a little down today. Here's some Neil Diamond to cheer you up (bonus: Glastonbury performance from 2008)  (youtube.com)	(10)
		Mortal Kombat is "likely the first and most tranny-relevant video game," and the "hands-down gayest video game of all time"  (kotaku.com)	(98)
		Sen. Tom Coburn (Morals & Values) prays that a Senate Democrat falls down the stairs on the way to vote for health care reform. No, really  (dailykos.com)	(146)
		Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year: "The site was named in at least 20 per cent of divorce petitions in America this year"  (thesun.co.uk)	(168)
		Dubai may go down as the largest investment scam in history. Abu Daddy on the hook for $80 billion  (bloomberg.com)	(54)
		The most important events in comics, year by year, for the last ten years. Bonus: not a top 10 list, not a ranking, just all the important stuff that went down over the course of the last decade  (io9.com)	(43)
		Location of Pete Townshend's first smashed guitar declared historial building. Stage where Jim Morrison pulled down his pants, hotel room where Bowie slept with Jagger and first show Iggy Pop passed out while on stage considered next  (contactmusic.com)	(8)

News: Penn State rallies from two sets down to win volleyball game. Newsier: For national championship. Newsiest: And 102nd consecutive victory  (sports.espn.go.com)

(47)

(Star Gazette)

6-year old girl saves her Mom's life by crawling through broken window of wrecked car, climbing back up the ravine they just plummeted down, talking to strangers  (stargazette.com)

(68)

		Bored? Spend Friday night with Mike, Crow, Servo, Troy, and Zap Rowsdower  (video.google.com)	(71)
(Associated Content)		OOOooo-klahoma, where your rights go mainly down the drain  (associatedcontent.com)	(363)
(Some Cow)		Dallas coach says Cowboys won't "cow down" to Saints  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(39)
		A Real Guitar for People Raised on Guitar Hero. The Dumbing Down has Started  (wired.com)	(121)
		When laying down spike strips during a high-speed chase, be aware cars may be approaching you at high speeds  (abcnews.go.com)	(159)
		Bottled water industry shocked - shocked - that people in a down economy are less inclined to pay more per gallon for tapwater than gasoline  (msnbc.msn.com)	(77)
		To your left: 36 states report falling unemployment numbers. To your right: Debbie Downer pees in your cereal  (money.cnn.com)	(324)
		Fortune picks top 10 dumbest things that happened in the financial world. It apparently took dozens of staffers working three weeks to narrow the list down to 10  (money.cnn.com)	(68)

Right on schedule, it's time for a "Companies are downsizing their holiday parties" story  (boston.com)

(126)

(Some Farker)

Reminder: Joint Mentally Incontinent, Fark book signing and Fark Party- downtown Indianapolis tonight  (downtowncomics.com)

(101)

		Woman led long campaign to have window blinds and shades recalled, all because she didn't pay attention as her daughter was strangled to death by a mini-blind cord  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(194)
		GOP takes down url shortener after one day as pranksters spent all day linking it to bondage sites, communists, Obama sex toys. Because nobody involved with the project could ever have seen that coming in a million years  (wired.com)	(197)
		Being a glutton for punishment is one thing. Going from Kyle Busch to Kurt Busch is downright insane  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(19)
		Warren Buffett downgrades Moody's credit rating to FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU  (cnbc.com)	(67)
		Testicularly gifted photographer stares down whirling dragster of doom  (dailymail.co.uk)	(127)

Many species are threatened by global warming...including the "barely able to keep Darwin at bay" Koala, unfunny clownfish, and the Emperor Penguin...which is being downgraded to a Prince Penguin  (news.yahoo.com)

(73)

(Wikileaks)		You know that story about the enormous amount of toxic waste that was dumped off the Ivory Coast? No? That's because the BBC took it down immediately after receiving legal threats  (wikileaks.org)	(97)
		Classically trained concert pianist plays absolutely amazing rendition of System of a Down's "Toxicity". Pianist... I mean boobs  (youtube.com)	(84)
		Scientists unveil VISTA telescope. Scientists bogged down with questions such as "Are you sure you want to view this galaxy?"  (foxnews.com)	(46)
		Appeals court smacks down police officer for testifying that his specially trained ears are accurate enough to pick a speeding car out of the flow of traffic  (thenewspaper.com)	(157)
(Some Guy)		"We were just plain giddy this time last year. This year what I feel, and what I sense much of America feels is fatigue; fatigue born of repetitious let down. Sort of disappointment, but, well, more disappointing. Just let down"  (opednews.com)	(154)
		Slate magazine asks if American's obsession of Drive Thru windows has cooled. Subby wonders this also as he posts this from the jam packed Mcdonald's 24 Drive Thru  (slate.com)	(44)

		Town that is $8 million in debt: "You guys want a Christmas tree? Fine, there's one in the park that needs cutting down anyway"  (msnbc.msn.com)	(74)
		Forbes names "Team of the Decade" in all pro sports for 00-09. Not so fast there, Mr. Brady. Sit down, Mr. Bryant  (nba.com)	(64)
		♫ Young man, you can always fall down. Young man, and get froze to the ground. Stay there, and be eventually found, there you'll bleed and be unhappy ♫ It's fun to skate at the YMCA, it's fun to skate at the YMCA ♫  (helenair.com)	(31)
		Black Earth Elementary School placed on lockdown due to: (C) wandering bovine  (chicagotribune.com)	(36)
		Finally, a 'best of the decade' list worth reading. Alan Sepinwall, the best TV critic on the web and early promoter of The Wire, breaks down the last 10 years  (nj.com)	(191)
(Some Transformer)		Video of Velvet Underground's Q&A at the New York Public Library. Sadly, the throwdown you wanted between Lou Reed and Doug Yule never happened  (nme.com)	(10)

(Some Guy)		Arizona on its way to meltdown, judge who held officer in contempt now charged with felonies for rulings which Sheriff Arpaio doesn't like  (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com)	(262)
		Remember that time you got arrested because the police misread the name on the warrant and then when your lawyer asked the judge to let you go the judge had him beat down? I LOL'd  (nola.com)	(137)
		Author of 'Cure the Gays' unwisely goes on the Rachel Maddow Show. Hilarity ensues  (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)	(217)
		R Kelly gives stripped-down show, dribbles something on the fly, leaves a few people pissed  (stltoday.com)	(20)
		Hollywood expects 2009 to be record-breaking $10 billion year. Blames illegal downloading  (abcnews.go.com)	(52)

		Newsweek lost $30 million this year and may shut down in 2010. In other news, evidently Newsweek is still publishing  (pajamasmedia.com)	(119)
		Robert Downey Jr. became a drug addict by "accident." Oh, is that how it works?  (contactmusic.com)	(73)
		"I remembered thinking, 'Whoa, this is scary,' as it whirled around, almost knocking me down," At least Microsoft is on our side for the robot wars of the future  (physorg.com)	(16)
		"Oh no. My windshield is busted...That's okay, I'll use this cardboard...Oh no. Now I can't see...That's okay, I'll just stick my head out the window...Oh no. My eyes are frozen shut...Now I REALLY can't see"  (metro.co.uk)	(66)

		Testosterone doesn't cause aggression, and if you don't stop saying it does, I'll rip your goddamned smarmy head off and shiat down your neck  (physorg.com)	(39)
		Scientists say 2009 will be the fifth-warmest year ever recorded and before you ask, no you can't see the thermometer and they accidentally threw out the envelope they used to write down all the data  (iol.co.za)	(973)
		We now know who to blame for the decision to invade Iraq, hunt down Saddam Hussein and search for WMD - an Iraqi taxi driver  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(65)
		Caption Robert Downey Jr. in this awkward moment  (upi.com)	(73)

(Political Wire)		DNC puts its foot down, saying no state is to have their 2012 primaries before February 1. In other news, early returns from Iowa caucus should be available shortly  (politicalwire.com)	(79)
		"We're going for it." - New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton on whether the team will pursue 16-0 or rest starters down the stretch  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(852)
		That bailout money we just flushed down the toilet? Well, we're getting about 90% of it back. Perhaps subby should have used different metaphor  (dailykos.com)	(297)
(NME)		Pete Doherty arrested for throwing his drink at a car window, meaning this may be his first step towards recovery, as normally he only chucks empties at car windows  (nme.com)	(6)
(Some Guy)		Raiders fans are fed up with Al Davis, buy a billboard asking him to step down  (realfootball365.com)	(44)

(Some Guy)		Spillane takes 4th at Skiing World Cup. But something didn't add up. Me, 4th place? The news went down like a battery acid martini. That classy dame I was canoodling with last night musta spiked my drink. I decided to poke around  (universalsports.com)	(23)
		Old and busted: wedding party dancing down the aisle. New and busted-er: wedding party reenacting the Superman-General Zod fight from "Superman 2"  (youtube.com)	(49)
		Todays SHMHC is brought to you by one of the most kick ass metal bands in recent years, Shadows Fall. Here is "In Effigy"  (youtube.com)	(120)

		The holidays don't slow down Friday bank closures with six more seized by regulators. The total is 130 this year for those of you keeping score at home  (bloomberg.com)	(36)
(Some Guy)		Mayor may be asked to resign for raising his voice to city employees. "I definitely did raise my voice maybe a couple of times. I was really stressed out, and it took me two weeks to calm down"  (carrollcounty.com)	(19)
		Your cat spends 22% of it's time looking out windows, 4% hiding dead animals in your bedroom  (google.com)	(878)
		Your trip down GenX Memory Lane .. good luck getting this tune out of your head: CHAR-leee  (youtube.com)	(32)
		Nanny State now refusing to serve train passengers sandwiches in case they choke on them. "'I don't understand how health and safety came into selling a hungry stranded passenger an egg sandwich on a broken-down train"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(74)

(Some [Guy])		[Kremlin] reports that a [US gov't] airplane piloted by [CIA agents] and carrying a cargo of [mutated swine flu virus] was [shot down] at [Shanghai airport] by [Israeli Mossad saboteurs], [preventing] an attack on [bases in Kyrgyzstan]  (preventdisease.com)	(255)
		Ski hill officials vow to crack down on idiots jumping off of chairlifts  (cbc.ca)	(16)
		Mangino steps down as Kansas football coach, registers 7.5 on Richter Scale    (content.usatoday.com)	(99)

		New Reagan app for your iReagan lets you Reagan all Reagan, whether you're sitting in your Reagan or driving your Reagan down the Reagan  (sfgate.com)	(735)
		Scientists downgrade prairie chicken to 'no longer delicious' in Canada  (cbc.ca)	(24)

(Some Local Newspaper)		He had a toque covering his eyes and his pants down and he was shaking his junk at us  (bclocalnews.com)	(55)
		Saints to dump Reggie Bush next year in favor of a cheaper third-down back. Maybe the Texans can pick him up for the veterans' minimum  (fannation.com)	(125)
(Smart Planet)		Smart should not be something debated and looked down on  (smartplanet.com)	(271)

(MinnPost)		Politician uses unspent office funds for hookers and blow. Just kidding, he used it to pay down the national debt  (minnpost.com)	(77)
(WBZ TV)		1996: Man accidentally runs down little old lady crossing the street. 2009: While crossing the street, man is run down by speeding karma  (wbztv.com)	(43)
		Dancing queen attending the "World's Largest Disco" Saturday night spills his beer on a man. Tries to hustle away but the man and his four friends le freak on him, turn him upside down. The good news is he's stayin' alive  (buffalonews.com)	(34)

		FAA grounds 130 Boeing 777s over risk of icing up and causing midair engine shut-downs. Just kidding. They rejected NTSB and ALPA warnings, allowing them to stay in the air until 2011. Have a nice flight  (cbsnews.com)	(147)
		"On one occasion a milking parlour had been entered and he had stripped down to his pants and climbed into a huge vat of manure."  (telegraph.co.uk)	(43)
		That sound you just heard was Mike Huckabee's political career going down in flames  (talkingpointsmemo.com)	(655)
(Some Guy)		Man arrested running down London street in only his socks, with photo of what a sock might look like  (lfpress.com)	(24)

		Riots against greedy sugar monopoly may bring down Pakistan's government. Again  (washingtonpost.com)	(38)
		Woman tracks down long-lost father only to find he is now a she: "I had no idea what to do so I said, 'You look better than me... and I really like your shoes'"  (mirror.co.uk)	(176)

(CW11)		XOXO places female living mannequins wearing lingerie in their windows geared toward and you clicked without even hearing what city this is in  (wpix.com)	(149)
		New England's last military air base shuts down. In case anyone from the Soviet Union is reading this, that means New England is TOTALLY HELPLESS  (abcnews.go.com)	(148)
		Our long national nightmare is nearly over: Bud Selig to step down in 2012  (sports.espn.go.com)	(66)
(FrogSoda)		You know those barricades that prevent you from diving down a street. Yeah, they are there for a reason  (frogsoda.com)	(45)
		Not news: two teams battle for bragging rights in a "You Got Served" style showdown; FARK: two barbershop quartets in a cafeteria  (youtube.com)	(48)

Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to knock out the rear window of the car after last night's accident. Police said she initially had a sand wedge, but then chose a 9 iron and hooded it after testing the wind    (hosted.ap.org)

(83)

		Only one month in: Windows 7 passes Mac OS X(All Versions) in market share. No word on how many minutes it took to surpass the market share for Linux  (computerworld.com)	(214)
		You know it's going to be a bad day when you wake up face down under a Cessna  (latimes.com)	(34)

		Economic downturn forces Japanese robot makers to concentrate on utilitarian machines that will take your job years ahead of schedule (pics)  (timesonline.co.uk)	(19)
		Who's down with OBE? Alan Cumming  (contactmusic.com)	(23)

		Richie Sambora gets a street named after him. It's heavily traveled early in the morning, but by early afternoon traffic dies off, and when the sun goes down no one dares to be seen traveling down it  (contactmusic.com)	(6)
		Tommy Lee Jones steps down from his actor/director duties on "The Lincoln Lawyer" due to creative differences, Anton Chigurh  (contactmusic.com)	(23)
		CEOs cashed in before Wall Street meltdown. In other news, large moon discovered orbiting Earth    (rawstory.com)	(31)
(Apple Insider)		50% of all mobile data traffic worldwide eaten up by people downloading fart apps and 911 dialers for $0.99  (appleinsider.com)	(23)
		Tired of Wasilla getting all the mockery, Juneau couple break neighbors' window, taunt them, then have sex in front of them  (fdlreporter.com)	(38)

		"Tea Party Patriots" respond kindly and rationally to woman who lost her daughter and grand-daughter from lack of health insurance. Just kidding... they laugh and scream her down. Stay classy, teabaggers  (huffingtonpost.com)	(498)
(Some Sputnik)		The burning question: "Where Is My Flying Car?,"... Answer: "It was shot down by the flying tank"  (aroundglobe.net)	(37)
		Not news: Transit police officer forces passenger's head into a reinforced glass window. News: Window shatters and cuts the passenger and the officer up. FARK: Passenger is charged with assault for cutting the officer  (cnn.com)	(397)
		"For Muslims who are on the front lines of Islam's bloody reformation...Mr. Obama has come down on the wrong side of history"  (online.wsj.com)	(227)
		Chinese democracy leaders appeal to Obama. They get down on their sha na na na na na na na knees, knees    (breitbart.com)	(53)

		Security camera footage of the large meteor over Utah as it lights up the night sky, casting shadows and overexposes cameras  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)	(42)
		Man to marry his virtual girlfriend this weekend. Newlyweds will honeymoon at resort basement with a window view outside  (foxnews.com)	(120)
		Countdown rounds up the best late night talk show laughs concerning Going Rogue, you betcha  (youtube.com)	(257)
(Some Guy)		Griffin avenges loss to Ortiz in UFC rematch. Sets up winner-take-all showdown at Ortiz-Griffin 3. #boxing shenanigans #fixed #don-king-esqe  (vancouversun.com)	(47)