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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Canadian hang-glider pilot says he's really sorry he dropped that poor tourist to her death, and he only swallowed the video evidence because his 12-year-old daughter stressed him out  (dailymail.co.uk)	(55)
(The wfds)		The WFDS loves the way FARK headlined a recent Nova Scotia story in a truly Canadian way  (thewfds.blogspot.com)	(0)
		For the first time in history, a Canadian has won one of cycling's Grand Tours  (theglobeandmail.com)	(27)

		A survey reveals that one-third of British pet owners would rather go away with their pet on vacation than their immediate family  (upi.com)	(68)
		Will Helio get his fourth? Will Andretti slow on the backstretch? How dusty will it get during the Dan Wheldon tributes? It's your official 96th Indianapolis 500 race thread (11am ET, ABC)  (indystar.com)	(lots)
(Some Guy)		Unnamed cable reality show trolling Craigslist for South Floridians who have "atypical relationship with food." The things people will do for an Emmy  (blogs.browardpalmbeach.com)	(15)

		Body found floating in Nova Scotia river stuffed in hockey bag. If this story was any more Canadian, it would be leaking maple syrup  (ctv.ca)	(47)
		NASA considering a "tumbleweed rover" to explore Mars; the 6m in diameter sphere would be powered by Martian wind  (sciencedaily.com)	(41)
		Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-erp.) wants better control on your eggs  (thehill.com)	(137)
		It's very easy to get a Canadian passport. Unless you happen to be a Canadian citizen  (torontosun.com)	(90)

		Susie Wheldon returns to the Speedway, Will Power tries to willpower his way to his first 'big' victory, Ryan Briscoe is confused by a question from his wife. It's your official Indianapolis 500 Carb Day thread  (indystar.com)	(59)
		First female skipper in British Navy's 500-year history takes charge of warship, immediately gets stuck in reverse  (mirror.co.uk)	(157)

		Winless team captures Canadian soccer championship  (tsn.ca)	(49)
		Latest polls show Obama leading in three states that are must-win for Romney, including double digit leads among women in each state. Romney campaign immediately files for injunction against mathematics, women's right to vote  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)	(151)
		Lawyers for 9/11 defendants argue that a fair, impartial trial is impossible after Bush and Obama spent the last 11 years calling them "terrorists" in the national media. This is what happens when you let terrorists have lawyers  (google.com)	(87)
		Canadian Pacific Railway strike leads to 2,000 layoffs, impromptu hockey games  (cbc.ca)	(23)

		After Saturday hell of Great GoogaMooga, celebrity chef Eddie Huang assesses class of folks who attend food festivals: "Like a monsoon of uncontrollable soul burning diarrhea, the foodies descended upon us"  (observer.com)	(18)
		Photoshop this Indiana Jones imitator  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(30)
		5 tips for Diablo 3. Three are obvious, and two completely break the game  (aggrogate.com)	(233)
		Conservative media reports that roving gangs of black teens are flash-mobbing across the country in their insatiable search for white flesh  (gawker.com)	(461)
		Russia, Japan, Europe, India and World Superpower Canada are together aiming to establish permanent bases on the Moon. NASA, um, isn't  (blogs.nature.com)	(46)
		JPMorgan Chase executives finally appear before Senate committee to answer for staggering losses. GOP lawmakers immediately attack the blatant irresponsibility, recklessness, and rampant unprofessionalism of ... federal regulators  (washingtonpost.com)	(173)
		AFL-CIO president beats a piñata with Gov. Nikki Haley's face on it. Thankfully in our post-Giffords assassination attempt era, the mainstream media is quick to report this and Democrats are distancing themselves them the union  (hotair.com)	(71)

		Mainstream media: LOL, Ron Paul thinks he can get enough delegates to win nomination . NPR: Actually, yes, for his son Rand in 2016  (npr.org)	(57)
		Nearly 1 in 4 teens have diabetes, awesome lunches  (610wiod.com)	(95)
		Four adults tie 15-year-old girl to tree, hit her with eggs and pour beer on her. Fark: Two of them are her legal guardians  (wtkr.com)	(62)
		Hundreds of thousands of Canadians still using dial-up. I wish there was something funny I could say about this but I'm one of them and I pray for death every day  (cbc.ca)	(129)
		George Lucas talks Indiana Jones 5. Which is obviously crazy talk considering the fourth one never happened  (comingsoon.net)	(131)

		Ever so timely, Microsoft hops on the social media bandwagon  (betanews.com)	(54)
		Here are all 68 lines of Rihanna's dialogue in Battleship, not quite enough to fill a novella, ella, ella  (gammasquad.uproxx.com)	(48)
		Ever since Gingrich and Santorum dropped out, the media consensus has been that the GOP nominating race is over. Minnesota delegates would like a word with Mr. Consensus  (upi.com)	(96)
		Indian woman tells husband to change his Facebook status to married or she'll change her caste status to untouchable  (huffingtonpost.com)	(34)
		Ryan Briscoe wins the pole for the Indianapolis 500 by just nine inches using advanced Chevy engine, hood ornament from a 1957 Buick  (indystar.com)	(39)
		Sometimes when you're having a fight with your girlfriend, the best thing to do is to immediately remove yourself from the situation. Unless you're in a moving vehicle  (azcentral.com)	(7)

Diablo III IS a girl In every_single_way  (youtube.com)

(37)

India's richest family decided to release photos of their 27-story, $1 billion home because "there have been exaggerated reports in the media about it"  (upi.com)

(138)

(Some Guy)		Who WOULDN'T want a nude portrait of their national leader to hang over the fireplace? (Answer: Canadians.)  (huffingtonpost.ca)	(39)
		Daily Kos diarist blasts Democrat running for congress, even though they can only cite one position for their disagreement. And yes, it is teh abortion issue  (dailykos.com)	(80)
(WTHR)		Governor Mitch Daniels explains why it's fiscally sound for Indiana to pay millions of dollars in late fees to its vendors  (wthr.com)	(34)
		Gladiator Fire now at 6500 acres. Nitro, Zap, Blaze inconsolable  (azfamily.com)	(22)
(Some Guy)		Man gives sucky TED talk. TED opts not to publish the talk. Man goes full media censorship outrage troll. Internet falls for it hook, line, and sinker  (tedchris.posterous.com)	(149)

		Lawrence Taylor selling his '91 Super Bowl ring after running into "legal and financial" problems, which is media talk for bad coke habits, banging underage prostitutes and the ensuing legal fees that result  (nfl.com)	(36)
		Indian media upset that new mom Aishwarya Rai has eaten too many sammiches  (smh.com.au)	(82)
		The Cleveland Indians plan to boost attendance goes to the dogs  (wtam.com)	(58)
		If you are French, and your man is making more love to the new Diablo III game than you, you may be eligible for a free vibrator (Not safe for work pic of woman's second-best friend)  (kotaku.com)	(122)
		Volcanoes love chocolate and diamonds, hate Joe  (sciencedaily.com)	(19)

		Four Guardian Angels knifed in Chicago. If only there was somebody to watch over them  (chicagotribune.com)	(72)
(Some Awesome Grandma)		100-year-old Edith Pittenger has already taken laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (at age 96), so how does she celebrate 100? By going parasailing  (thestarpress.com)	(6)
		Ignore the Establishment Media: Ron Paul Has NOT Dropped Out  (youtube.com)	(28)
		California Governor Brown proposes four day work week for state employees. DMV workers immediately angry about having to add two days to their current schedule  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(89)
		Remember how the White folks stole all of the land from the Indians? Yeah, well about that  (cracked.com)	(165)
		Need a reason to visit Santa Claus, Indiana the summer? How about riding the world's longest water coaster  (itineraries.msnbc.msn.com)	(13)
		Venture Beat uses FARK commentary in their article about the Error 37 Diablo III failure  (venturebeat.com)	(0)
		Drugs harvested from Gila Monster saliva reduces cravings for chocolate and other foods, may revolutionize Type II Diabetes treatment  (sciencedaily.com)	(46)

		RAF performs perfect 'ER II' formation in skies over North Wales in preparation for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee  (telegraph.co.uk)	(57)
(Some Guy)		Git out yer tinfoil hats, boys. This hyar is a list o' lies that the gubment media tells 'bout us  (gunsandammo.com)	(229)
		Man swallows $20K diamond while robbing jewelry store, is locked in cell with no toilet as police play the waiting game  (cbc.ca)	(75)
		At age 38, Cleveland Indians pitcher Derek Lowe throws his fourth career complete game shutout, currently has a 6-1 record with an ERA of 2.05. Fark: The Atlanta Braves are still paying $10,000,000 of his $15,000,000 salary  (scores.espn.go.com)	(33)
		World exclusive Diablo III review  (venturebeat.com)	(274)
(BizJournals)		Funny: "The Onion" claims that media savvy professionals working for fracking industry are being hired in droves to mislead the public. Fark: Media savvy professional working for fracking industry responds by misleading the public  (bizjournals.com)	(93)
		Henry Kissinger subjected to "the full Monty" of groping while at TSA checkpoint at LaGuardia airport. In other news, Henry Kissinger still alive  (foxnews.com)	(77)
		Liberal media refuses to give microphone to those who claim the media isn't liberal  (washingtonpost.com)	(52)
(Taste of Country)		Taylor Swift fans miss concert because of drunk driver. Weeping messenger bluebirds dispatched; Swift's woodland headquarters immediately goes on Rainbow Alert  (tasteofcountry.com)	(31)
		Canadian lacrosse match turns into major brawl, to the delight of all 6 spectators  (youtube.com)	(42)
		According to some guy's book, the Zodiac Killer is a 91-year-old dude still living in Northern California  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(96)

"After the media went ballistic on me, I received an e-mail offering me money not to preach at all until the November presidential election."; Wright said, "Barack wanted to meet me in secret, in a secure place"  (nypost.com)

(143)

		Cuddle up next to your mom and watch the Orioles vs Rays, Indians vs Red Sox, Braves vs Cardinals and more. It's your Mother's Day Sunday MLB Discussion Thread  (scores.espn.go.com)	(52)
		Gov. Rick Scott's chief of staff resigns, complaining the media made it impossible to do his job when reporting on all his crooked deals  (tampabay.com)	(42)
(Some NFL Guy)		Jets backup QB Tim Tebow finally getting his own half hour special on Eǃ Entertainment Television this summer, which will more than make up for the lack of attention he's sure to get from the New York media  (lastangryfan.com)	(53)

(Some Guy)

John Axford blows a save so badly it puts his wife into labor. He then leaves an awesome note for the media  (foxsportswisconsin.com)

(17)

		Indiana Pacers coach Frank Vogel becomes America's favorite basketball coach by saying nine little words about the Miami Heat - "They are the biggest flopping team in the NBA"  (espn.go.com)	(83)
		Josh Beckett contrite and apologetic with the media after getting hammered in his first start after Golf-Gate. Haha, just kidding, he's a robodouche  (boston.com)	(81)
(Some Guy)		Remember when the media was so concerned about Mr. Obama's drug use in high school? Good times  (thepoliticalguide.com)	(177)

(Columbia Journalism Review)		You know something is askew when the trust fund liberals at Columbia University start taking note of media bias  (cjr.org)	(48)
		India Central Bank scrambles to pick up the blinking rupee  (cnbc.com)	(10)
		Indian cricket player bites opponent's ear off. I lobe this game  (news.com.au)	(15)

		National survey indicates six percent of Canadians prefer Internet to sex -- results that seem counter-Inuitive  (upi.com)	(10)
(Some SMRT guy)		Eastern Michigan University sees 12.4% increase in students taking remedial courses. Wait, almost HALF of them? That's unpossible  (annarbor.com)	(140)
(NBCNewYork)		'Butt dials' account for nearly 40 percent of NYC 911 calls  (nbcnewyork.com)	(45)

(Some Guy)		Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard changed the poll sites, which isn't that funny until you consider the fact that his wife showed up at the wrong polling location  (indydemocrat.blogspot.com)	(27)
(WCPO)		Absolute, indisputable, irrefutable evidence that there is no God: Professional food eater and human oil slick Guy Fieri has been tapped to drive the pace car at the Indianapolis 500  (wcpo.com)	(118)
		Naked lady seen on the front of Canadian $20 bill. Dear god, I hope it's not the same lady  (upi.com)	(100)
		"The Greatest Canadian" was a poor Baptist preacher that decided health care should be a fundamental right and then did something about it. Had he born in America, the US might be in better shape  (neatorama.com)	(141)
		Popular media phrase "as addictive as cocaine" inaccurate and worthless. This headline is as good as cocaine  (io9.com)	(28)
		I said, THE CANADIAN RADIO-TELEVISION AND TELECOMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION ORDERS TV ADS TO TURN DOWN THE VOLUME  (cbc.ca)	(24)
		TSA still trying to kill diabetics  (thedenverchannel.com)	(137)
		Indians offended that The Avengers depicts their third world hellhole as a third world hellhole  (huffingtonpost.com)	(200)

		Cameron Diaz explains the science behind "saggy boobies"  (starpulse.com)	(58)
		The sole Canadian on US death row claims he is a changed man. He hasn't watched hockey in years, eats Dunkin Donuts, puts ketchup on his freedom fries and measures summer in months not hours  (news.yahoo.com)	(86)
(Some Guy)		US Military wants to microchip troops to track them. It's cheaper than buying them all iPhones  (businessinsider.com)	(108)

		With Diablo 3 less than 2 weeks away, most people would decide to preorder the game. Then you have this guy  (kotaku.com)	(205)
		NYT debuts their new interactive electoral map, complete with paths to victory for both candidates. Unfortunately for Mitt Romney, most of his paths are akin to Indiana Jones on the rope bridge in "Temple of Doom"  (elections.nytimes.com)	(194)
		Stuck for a last minute gift this Mother's Day? Why not buy her her own Wikipedia page?  (theatlanticwire.com)	(12)
		UN says the US must give back Mount Rushmore to the Indians as it is illegally occupied land that was stolen from the natives, as opposed the land where their HQ is  (dailymail.co.uk)	(290)

		Nanny state tells active five-year-old that she at risk of developing heart disease, cancer and diabetes because she is up to one stone heavier than she should be. With pictures of so-called fatty  (mirror.co.uk)	(88)
(Waiting For Next Year)		In case you haven't noticed - and judging by the attendance, you haven't - the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar  (waitingfornextyear.com)	(45)
		With Nate Diaz vs. Jim Miller headlining, will UFC's third outing on FOX offer a one round knockout or a five round decision? It's UFC on FOX 3, Prelims begin at 4 PM ET on Facebook, 5 PM ET on Fuel, with the main card at 8 PM on FOX  (withleather.uproxx.com)	(551)
		Disney's most interesting animated film in years is out at the end of the month, and unless you live in India you can't see it  (slashfilm.com)	(48)
		Five dogs poisoned by antifreeze-coated fish tossed into their backyard. Fark: For the second time. Super sad: Two of them need $10,000 of dialysis to keep them alive and the owner can't afford it  (wtkr.com)	(324)
		RIM announces it will still include physical keyboards, rotary dials on its new line of wireless phones  (finance.yahoo.com)	(130)

		A perfect example of why the Heartland Institute is not called the Brainland Institute, and why they probably should have been named after their more Floridian organs  (washingtonpost.com)	(132)
		"Officials say that messages on social media that led to the cancelation of classes were not threats, but were rather about masturbation"  (wxyz.com)	(52)
		When their co-worker is diagnosed with cancer, a bunch of women band together to raise money for her treatment. Fark: She comes back with a nice boob job and no cancer  (wptv.com)	(157)
		Heart transplant patient may be the first person ever to see his own heart tissue beating outside his body-okay, OTHER THAN those who ran afoul of angry kung-fu masters or mystical Indian cults  (news.yahoo.com)	(15)
		Researchers say new clue found on very old map may means the settlers of the "lost colony" of Roanoke weren't massacred by indians, wiped out by disease or abducted by aliens, but just moved up the river a bit  (freep.com)	(56)
		California GOP calls press conference to advertise itself as "Party of Yes". Then immediately calls for "no" vote on tax proposition  (blogs.sacbee.com)	(271)

		Goodwill Industries shows their good will and returns what might be may be 1,000-year-old Native American artifact to the Caddo Indian Nation  (news.yahoo.com)	(56)
(Some Guy)		"LONG LIVE COMMUNISM" and other Occupy Chicago pictures you won't see in the mainstream media  (libertynews.com)	(309)
		Defintion of "Non-story": Media: Elizabeth Warren falsely claimed to be Native American. Campaign: actually She's 1/32 Cherokee. Media: Well, that's not Indian ENOUGH. Indians: That's the same as the Cherokee Chief  (theweek.com)	(153)
		Why has most of the main stream media ignored the connection between the would-be Cleveland bombers and the Occupy movement?  (newsbusters.org)	(126)
		After five years, taxi driver suddenly decides to tell the world's media he remembers taking missing girl in the back of his car (with bonus pic of him pointing to precisely where she sat)  (dailystar.co.uk)	(16)

		NBA Playoffs mess around, get a triple-header: Utah @ San Antonio (7pm TNT), Indiana @ Orlando (7:30pm, NBATV), and Clippers @ Memphis (9:30pm TNT)  (sports.yahoo.com)	(70)
		Sadly, Colbert Nation, you have lost the Diane Keaton vote  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(145)
		That scary black diamond run you're always bragging about at the local ski hill has nothing on this Lebanese resort, where the hazards on the slopes include getting shot by Syrian border troops  (reuters.com)	(6)
		Paralyzed Rutgers defensive tackle gets signed by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, immediately moves to second on the depth chart  (news.blogs.cnn.com)	(30)
		BBC America takes a bleeper to The Thick Of It to censor the swearing, leaving it with just three words of dialogue  (bbc.co.uk)	(51)

		Choose who you sit next to on a plane via social media. What could possibly go wrong?  (travelandleisure.com)	(83)
		Life stinks for high school media specialist busted over sock fetish  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(34)
		Merchants complain that new lightweight Canadian $1 and $2 coins are making vending machines go loonie  (marketwatch.com)	(9)
		Where is the mainstream media's coverage of the shocking "memo" issued by nine state attorneys general detailing 21 specific violations of law by the Obama administration?  (townhall.com)	(142)

College professor plans to study stress, alcoholism. Which may be the most ingenious way to get a research grant for writing a personal diary anyone in academia has ever come up with  (wrcbtv.com)

(11)

(Some Guy)		Canadian sci-fi convention announces entire cast of Star Trek TNG as guests. C) Too many nerds turn up, failarity ensues  (calgaryherald.com)	(108)
		Foreign countries with a financial stake in seeing the US oil and gas industries fail are funding left-wing groups and documentaries to spread lies against 'big energy'. Oh, and the media is in on it too  (newsbusters.org)	(119)
(Some Guy)		When robbing a store for diapers and beer, be advised that some cab drivers will NOT drive you on your getaway (with Son, you got a panty on your head picture goodness)  (salem-nh.patch.com)	(40)

(News 95.7)		Canadian soldiers no longer to stand at attention  (news957.com)	(48)
(Some Guy)		Wondering why that cute video you posted of your kid dancing in a diaper is getting so many views on Youtube? It's been added to a kiddie porn site  (1035superx.com)	(141)
		And the newest media-created word guaranteed to make you punch the first person you hear using it? "Mompreneur"  (news.yahoo.com)	(92)
		Dumb: Getting drunk and picking up a prostitute. Dumber: Passing out in a hotel room in the company of prostitute. Dumbest: Passing out in the company of a prostitute while in possession of $500K worth of diamonds  (nypost.com)	(49)
		Parents sue because their snowflake was kicked out of an honors English class after he was caught cheating. Fark: He had signed an Academy Honesty Pledge which warned that cheating was grounds for immediate removal from the class  (dailymail.co.uk)	(200)
(SLO Tribune)		"Jellyfish-like creatures" take over intake structure and shut down Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant. And so it begins  (sanluisobispo.com)	(126)

		Good Luck to Indianapolis. RG3 replaces RG3rd and 15. Then what? It's your NFL Draft 1st Round discussion thread  (espn.go.com)	(π)
		Nintendo revenue chased by Goomba to the edge of the platform, fails to make the jump, falls off a cliff. No 1UP in immediate sight  (news.cnet.com)	(72)
		Troy McGreggor say Obama's appearance on Jimmy Fallon violated campaign finance law, so that means Sarah Palin is automatically president and Obama has to wear Zap Rowsdower's Canadian tuxedo and fight Larry Csonka to the death  (breitbart.com)	(145)

		News: British boyband involved in chlamydia scare. Fark: Koala chlamydia  (huffingtonpost.com)	(33)
(Some Guy?)		News: Man fights with medical insurance over the bill for his hysterectomy. Fark: A Canadian man...wait, what?  (thechronicleherald.ca)	(115)

		Meet some of the country's biggest media companies, which own dozens of newspapers and TV news operations that are lobbying against transparency  (motherjones.com)	(15)
		Keith Olberman says the media's coverage of the duelling dog stories about the presidential candidates increases the "absurdity" of this campaign. And if there's one guy who knows "absurd"..,  (abcnews.go.com)	(26)
		New study confirms the media's "liberal bias" showing they covered Obama twice as favorably as Romney during the primaries. No, wait, strike that, reverse it  (thedailybeast.com)	(80)

		Protests flare in Bahrain as as the F1 Grand Prix is set to go live at 7:30 AM ET. Sebastian Vettel is on pole, Nico Rosberg starts 4th, and Force India will test its new TV invisibility field  (cnn.com)	(89)
		China laughs at India's 'dwarf' missile. Ummmm.... hey guys?  (theatlanticwire.com)	(63)
		35-year-old Milf cries tears of diamonds. The Sun is there, making her eyes all sparkly (w/pic)  (thesun.co.uk)	(167)

		Manu Ginobili throws amazing pass, immediately gets drafted by the Broncos  (youtube.com)	(16)
		New study suggests lengthening the school day. Teachers immediately cite 8th Amendment, covering cruel and unusual punishment  (washingtonpost.com)	(132)

		The Guardian notices the use of social internet memes and cites FARK for its "sometimes-tasteless humour" (5th paragraph) (Warning: graphic image in link)  (guardian.co.uk)	(22)
		Unrestored 1.75 horsepower 1903 Indian motorcycle up for auction. Runs like new. Wheelie  (heavy.com)	(35)
		Diablo 3 has an open beta. That's good. It's lasting only three days. That's bad. You can download it right now for when it starts at 3 today. That's good. It's a server stress test. That's bad. Can I go home now?  (aggrogate.com)	(171)

		Greatest entry in the history of Wikipedia? "Yinling the Erotic Terrorist . . . gave birth to Monster Bono after being hit by The Great Muta's green mist in the genitals"  (en.wikipedia.org)	(63)
		The Colts intend to draft Andrew Luck with the first pick of the draft. He looks forward to a long and successful career in Indianapolis being overshadowed by whomever is quarterback for the New England Patriots  (indystar.com)	(93)
		You should probably take some remedial driver's ed classes when your car goes airborne and ends up stuck in the side of a house  (msnbc.msn.com)	(18)
(Some Guy)		New camera line up lets you immediately share photos via WiFi to Facebook, YouTube and other services. Regretting sharing the photos to come moments later  (gadgetbox.msnbc.msn.com)	(38)
		Unlike Best Korea, India is able to keep it up and perform. Bonus: they call it the "China Killer"  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(77)
(Winnipeg Free Press)		Winnipeg Free Press tells of the Canadian writer who got a boost in readership and page views per day after his 'awesome' story was picked up by FARK (12th section)  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(0)

(ARTnews)		Skulls with encrusted diamonds, the Pope struck by a meteor, nudes with distorted breasts, soiled toys and sheets, ants crawling on a cross. Bad taste is good business in the art world  (artnews.com)	(29)
		Girl:✓ White:✓ Blonde:✓ Missing:✓ Soldier:✓ Queue media and military frenzy in 3...2  (wral.com)	(327)

(Some Guy)

Jennifer Aniston reportedly cares, or doesn't, about engagement. She's moved on. Apparently the media hasn't  (wpix.com)

(37)

		Nicki Minaj deletes her twitter account that had million of followers. Social media professionals everywhere break into Nancy Kerrigan style cries of "WHY WHY WHY"  (hitfix.com)	(65)
		Indian child, separated by circumstance from his family at five and adopted by Australians, finds his mom over 20 years later by using Google Earth  (news.cnet.com)	(45)
		Don't hate PBR because it's ironic. The Canadian version "has some comforting malt flavours - sugar cookies, toasted corn - which give way to a moderately hoppy finish"  (life.nationalpost.com)	(115)

		If there was one politician we needed to make brash and incendiary statements about the Israel-Palestine conflict, it's RON PAUL  (news.yahoo.com)	(160)
		Can the Orioles extend their stay atop the AL East? How long before the Indians' bats go back to sleep? The Cubs...what's their deal? It's Sunday Afternoon Baseball on Fark (games begin at 1:07 PM ET)  (scores.espn.go.com)	(185)
		While the media was obsessed with #Occupy's antics, the tea party was busy with the -really- freaky shiat: meetings. Going over legislative records, following debates, arguing with each other, preparing candidates. And no drum circles. Ew  (newser.com)	(280)
		St. Louis Cardinals World Series ring features faceted rubies, a 14 karat yellow gold frame,103 round diamonds and one rally squirrel  (espn.go.com)	(39)

(Some Guy)

New study finds Canadian constitution to be the most influential worldwide  (winnipegfreepress.com)

(86)

Skeptic arrested and charged with blasphemy for pointing out a "miracle" was actually a leaky pipe and capillary action at work. See India, this is why you can't have nice things  (boingboing.net)

(139)

		Morgan Freeman denies rumors he is marrying step-granddaughter. Claiming "reports of any pending marriage or romantic relationship to anyone are defamatory fabrications from the tabloid media designed to sell papers. Titty sprinkles"  (tmz.com)	(37)
(Washigton Examiner)		In a scathing commentary on what's wrong with the American government, Joe Biden calls Senator and former comedian Al Franken a 'leading legal scholar'. Wait, he was being serious?   (campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com)	(128)
		Indian politicians offer $2,000--nearly half a year's wages--as bounty for any slain vampires people bring in. In other news, a whole lot of people are about to be murdered in India  (io9.com)	(108)
(Billings Gazette)		"Law enforcement learns communication techniques," such as I'll Mirandize You When You Confess, Probable Cause 'Cause You Probably Did It, and Brokering Meaningful Dialogue Between Nightstick and Perp  (billingsgazette.com)	(49)
		Dick Lugar debates Kareem-Abdul Jabber in battle for Indiana Senate Seat  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(55)

(Seattle Times)		Police bust butt-dialer thanks to a crack in the case  (today.seattletimes.com)	(48)
		Media Matters' Fox Mole thinks Gawker's Fox Mole is hilarious and is driving Roger Ailes insane  (mediamatters.org)	(134)
		The Telegraph beats the drums for Canadian bagpipe wars  (telegraph.co.uk)	(29)

		Thar be gold in them thar diapers  (myfoxmemphis.com)	(26)
(Delaware County (PA) Times)		Rush Limbaugh more powerful than ever -- totally doesn't need a 50,000-watt affiliate in the nation's fourth-largest media market anymore. My friends, we're on in Whitefish, Montana  (delcotimes.com)	(110)
		"I think this will be a process, a process of dialogue, of debate, and in the end I see no other path than decriminalization...as long as the demand exists"  (washingtonpost.com)	(55)
		In the interest of starting a pleasant and cordial thread, here's this week's Foxsports MLB Power Rankings  (msn.foxsports.com)	(158)
		In typical Canadian fashion, the Toronto Maple Leafs apologize for being the Toronto Maple Leafs  (espn.go.com)	(28)
		News media gives viewers 20 variations on a theme of Oosthuizen (w/video)  (deadspin.com)	(9)
		For the first time since her divorce, Kim Kardashian does something almost worth media attention: wear a small bikini  (dailymail.co.uk)	(101)

		I am shocked, shocked to learn that the media treatment of politicians such as Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin have made women less inclined to enter politics  (economist.com)	(183)
		Dallas Mavericks kick Lamar Odom to the curb, effective immediately  (chicagotribune.com)	(119)
		Sales soar for final print version of Encyclopaedia Britannica as students discover something to copy more reliable than Wikipedia  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)	(85)
		Sexual healing may make you feel so fine, but there's better places for it than the lawn in front of the pediatric office  (tampabay.com)	(26)

Binky-hating 114-year-old pediatrician Dr. Leila Denmark has died: "When she began to practise, an appointment to see her cost $4. By the time she retired aged 103, she had more than doubled her fees - to $10"  (telegraph.co.uk)

(100)

		Sidney Crosby admits he earned his reputation as a whiner, but wants the media to know that he's not a whiner anymore, he's not, he's not, he's not  (sports.yahoo.com)	(49)
		Sign no. 47 the Mayans were right about 2012: the mainstream media discovers and praises Brony social club in D.C  (washingtonpost.com)	(93)
		Dual no-hitter/perfect game in progress through five innings between Indians and Blue Jays  (scores.espn.go.com)	(187)
(Some WV Guy)		State office building going up over old Indian burial site. What could possibly go wrong?  (wvgazette.com)	(51)

		Tennessee governor says all the attention on the asinine legislation his state has been proposing -- everything from not allowing teachers to mention homosexuality to banning lowrider pants -- is obviously the fault of the media  (wrcbtv.com)	(86)
		College chess team wins national title and then the coach immediately announces she is leaving for a better deal at another school, and is taking the entire team with her. And you thought SEC football dealings were shady  (content.usatoday.com)	(18)
		Ahh, the signs of spring: the sun shining, the birds chirping, and the Indians blowing a 3-run lead in the 9th en route to a historic loss  (sports.espn.go.com)	(63)

$2,000,000 indoor marijuana farm busted in Reno. Grower informed of farm's value immediately before mugshot is taken  (rgj.com)

(80)

(Some Guy)

When reporters think they are on CSI Miami, real police have to work twice as hard to undo damage caused by the media  (staugustine.com)

(196)

		Things George Lucas hates: Childhood memories of everybody born before 1980, good dialogue, cities  (io9.com)	(49)
		Since PM Sweatervest put his foot on the throats of Canadian government scientists, media coverage of global warming has fallen 80% according to a leaked Environment Canada internal document  (newscientist.com)	(57)
		24-year-old man dies after 14-year-old cousin applies "rear naked choke hold" while watching Wrestlemainia. Cousin immediately signed to WWE and will face The Great Khali in steel cage at next pay-per-view  (nola.com)	(90)
		The first prosecutor in the Trayvon Martin case is a little upset at the "outright lies" being told in the media. Subby just wants to know brand of tennis shoe Trayvon had, the type of cell phone used, type of grass seed in the lawn  (clickorlando.com)	(96)

		That damned liberal media trumps up yet another story about a top campaign donor being accused of fraud and...wait, it was one of Obama's donors? And it still made national news? This makes no sense  (wrcbtv.com)	(154)
		Mitt Romney's son slams "lib media" for mocking George Romney on Mad Men  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(236)
(Some Guy)		Mikey was a runner, Molly was a jumper, and he and his friends used to watch her. They took a little trip, he pretended not to zip, and that's how the diamond left the locker  (siouxcityjournal.com)	(37)
		Media poses the question: "Has PETA gone crazy?" Which makes no sense, since as far as anyone can tell they've never been sane to begin with  (thedailybeast.com)	(54)
		Now that Amazon is able provide customers with cheap and plentiful purple Flavor-Aid, Cool Ranch Doritos and adult diapers, Walmart is taking a closer look at this whole "internet" fad  (finance.yahoo.com)	(115)

(Some Bubble Dweller)

Not News: Guy hands a kid a five dollar bill and walks away..Police and Media: OMGZ DANGER DANGER  (bnd.com)

(125)

You might be lucky if: you fall off your bike in cardiac arrest and three doctors including a cardiologist are riding behind you  (cbc.ca)

(37)

		Why fantasy movies always lean toward British accents for characters, instead of thick Boston or Deep Southern dialects: 'A British accent provides a "splash of otherness"'  (bbc.co.uk)	(110)
		Japan helping to revive traditional handwoven Scottish tweed industry, using tweed in everything from hats and shoes to ties, and to cover diaries and Kindles  (japantimes.co.jp)	(26)
		Just like clockwork, the mass media suddenly realizes the odds on winning a lottery are really, really thin. This is a repeat from every time the jackpot has crossed $100 million  (desmoinesregister.com)	(149)

		New Canadian budget to leave Canadians penniless  (cbc.ca)	(133)
		Meet the drunken Canadian man who is responsible for the greatest a capella version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" ever recorded in the back of a police cruiser  (thesmokinggun.com)	(92)
		In Merrillville, Indiana, one city councilman is set to take on the town's horrible crack problem  (indystar.com)	(29)
(Some Guy)		Making music with radiation  (nuclear.kth.se)	(16)
		Anchorman 2 is a go. Paramount immediately regrets this decision  (insidemovies.ew.com)	(123)

		Occupy DC, gladiators, internet memes, and hipsters are much more awesome when made out of Peeps (slideshow, but worth it)  (washingtonpost.com)	(11)
(WLKY)		70-year-old men at dialysis center get in pissing contest over final four game  (wlky.com)	(24)
		Food bank in Indiana using federal funds asks for just a teensy prayer before you get your groceries  (huffingtonpost.com)	(240)

		Rupert Murdoch, Media Pirate  (entertainment.slashdot.org)	(24)
		Physicists searching for new physics in the quantum fluctuations of the primordial universe. Hopefully the kind that finally gives us freakin' kickass hoverboards  (physorg.com)	(25)

		Billionaire trolls Australian media to help get political party elected  (abc.net.au)	(15)
		AOL begins selling off its patents to raise cash. In other news, there are business that still use dial up technology?  (news.cnet.com)	(42)
		"The money shot media following Pope Benedict XVI's first trip to Mexico were waiting for"  (news.yahoo.com)	(90)
		33 years ago today, Indiana State and Michigan State faced off for the NCAA title. The most-watched college hoops game of all-time; Bird v. Magic; The Game that begat March Madness; Duke sucks  (youtube.com)	(30)
		Santorum loses his shiat over the media using his words against him  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)	(207)

Boxing writer Bert Sugar dies of cardiac arrest  (news.yahoo.com)

(30)

		Tryouts for a Canadian lingerie football team takes place to the drooling of a nearly all male audience. Yes, there's a video  (cbc.ca)	(36)
		The Weekly Standard notes that Obama used the same metaphor to praise three different allies. Obviously this makes Ernest Hemingway retroactively president, and Obama has to take remedial Creative Writing at community college in Kenya  (weeklystandard.com)	(113)
(KING5)		If you're missing a 150-foot Japanese fishing boat from last year's tsunami, check with lost-and-found at the Canadian Coast Guard  (king5.com)	(54)

		Protip: When you're out stealing 700 pounds of scrap metal, don't butt-dial 911  (courant.com)	(17)
		One of the last holdouts of the dead-tree left-wing mainstream MSM media ceases print production in Philadelphia and DC, obviously because they've refused to investigate the horrific crimes of the Obama administration  (breitbart.com)	(130)
(Some Anti-Wags-ers)		Medical doctors of India would like to take this moment to reassure you that despite Janani Mukherjee's claims, getting bitten by a dog does not put your child at risk of becoming pregnant with puppies  (voanews.com)	(35)
		The latest entrants in the War on Women are Canadian squirrels  (thestar.com)	(26)

		"American media terrorizes people far more than the actual so-called terrorists" Says Glenn Greenwald. But be sure to check out his other article "Obama is a murderous sociopath" who will kill you in your sleep  (salon.com)	(359)
		Nvidia's new graphic card is set to annihilate AMD's Radeon HD 7970  (pcmag.com)	(187)
		A new genre has been born: Diaper jive  (wimp.com)	(22)
		Sheriff Joe to media: Where the hell are you going? I've got tons more on Obama, so you just get those damn cameras back here. Yeah, that's it. Look at me... look at me... Don't stop now, goddamit, I'm almost there  (wnd.com)	(88)
		Rush Limbaugh is about to witness the firepower of the fully armed and George Soros funded Media Matters battle station  (washingtonpost.com)	(293)
		Why is The Daily Show more effective than The Mainstream Media at reporting news like defunding UNESCO? Stewart recognizes governmental madness and absurdity, while MSM takes it as axiomatic in their "objective" reporting  (theatlantic.com)	(135)
		Verizon to customer: "Say buddy, that's a real quaint little dial-up plan ya got there. Sure would be a shame if somethin' bad were to happen to it. Y'know, like some sort of outage or somethin' at a bad time"  (consumerist.com)	(39)
(Doubtful News)		Doubtful News thanks FARK for drawing their attention to an important story about the truthfulness of the media  (doubtfulnews.com)	(0)
		Photoshop theme: A Venn diagram to explain Fark to someone who's never been here  (fark.com)	(39)

		Obama uses ASL to communicate with a deaf man. GOP immediately attacks him for not speaking English  (boingboing.net)	(208)
		Bob Knight talks about Kentucky-Indiana game in a calm, intelligent conversation. No really, I'm serious  (content.usatoday.com)	(14)

		In the upcoming Avengers movie, The Hulk is the Worst. Enraged. Gamma Irradiated. Monster. Ever  (wired.com)	(92)
		A-Rod treats his niece to a $17,000 day of clothes shopping, then disputes the AmEx charges. Store immediately cries foul  (nypost.com)	(83)
		Great moments in campaign bus design - Canadian Edition  (cbc.ca)	(57)
(Some Guy)		Aaron Paul tweets that "Breaking Bad" will return in July. "Make sure u wear your diapers because I'm pretty sure u will (bleep) yourself"   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(145)

(Some Scientician)

"It's sort of like the way a Russian Sauna works, but instead of hot coals there's a nuclear explosion, instead of steam there's X-rays, and instead of a hut it's a Frigidaire, and also Indiana Jones is dead." Science  (overthinkingit.com)

(77)

(Elliot Wave International)		Elliot Wave International compares FARK's non sequitur headlines to the reporting by the financial news media (3rd section)  (elliottwave.com)	(0)
		Indiana GOP revokes license plates for gay youths, triples allowance for cab fare on their expense accounts  (indystar.com)	(133)
		Floridians afraid that Movies like "Project X" are making kids want to party, get drunk, do drugs, and break things. "They never would have came up with that idea themselves"  (sun-sentinel.com)	(65)
		Girl:✓ White:✓ Blonde:✓ Missing:✓ Queue media frenzy in 3...2  (ocregister.com)	(138)

		If your first instinct is to bring that live grenade you found to police headquarters, you might be a Floridian  (mysuncoast.com)	(55)
(Some Guy)		Not News: Athlete busted for doping. News: Busted by little-known Canadian sports federation. Fark: Wheelchair Curling   (wheelchaircurler.blogspot.com)	(13)
		Cell phone radiation during pregnancy causes ADHD and ... what was the other thing?  (sciencedaily.com)	(39)
		Kate Upton's latest TV commercial featuring "an erect nipple" banned from US television. Ratings-starved HBO immediately offers to develop it into a six week mini-series  (dailymail.co.uk)	(203)
		White men in New York vote to steal Indian casino money, offer them beads and trinkets for their land  (reuters.com)	(84)

		As more and more people are selling off their diamond jewelry, the industry worries that a flood of "recycled" diamonds may cause severe drops in the artificially inflated prices they sell their shiny rocks for  (news.yahoo.com)	(218)
		Dick Cheney cancels his visit to Canada over fears Canadian terrorists might be gunning for him  (slatest.slate.com)	(245)

		Encyclopedia Britannica is going to stop printing new editions after 250 years. Space report kid inconsolable  (money.cnn.com)	(167)
		Facebook execs could face jail time in India over "blasphemous content". | like | comment | pmita |  (610wiod.com)	(78)
(USM Free Press)		University of Southern Maine discusses news outlets and media sources: "During my first year, I expanded my horizons with websites like Fark for laughs"  (usmfreepress.org)	(0)

		The median age of Limbaugh's audience? Deceased  (thedailybeast.com)	(198)
		Noted marine biologist Ke$ha speaks out against the Canadian seal hunt  (cbc.ca)	(53)

In this edition of Strange Collaborations in Media, we give you John Mellencamp and Stephen King, whose musical, Ghost Brothers of Darkland County, debuts next month  (content.usatoday.com)

(21)

		Man gets life in prison for stealing four-carat diamond ring from a 92 year old woman working in a mobile massage unit. Shouldn't getting a massage from a 92 year old woman be punishment enough?  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com)	(61)
		Jets' Mark Sanchez signs three-year contract extension. New York immediately removes all signs of Peyton Place  (nypost.com)	(116)
(wkyt-tv)		Seven different home surveillance cameras capture the West Liberty, KY tornado, without CB radio dialogue  (wkyt.com)	(32)

		Indiana's Jones to miss the rest of the regular season, plans to visit a museum in his free time  (rivals.yahoo.com)	(17)
		Banning corporate campaign contributions will make Washington a glittering beacon of honest dealing, right? Let's ask India about that; they've had a ban for 45 years and hello there, Mr. Law Of Unintended Consequences  (washingtonpost.com)	(74)
		Why does Comedy Central refuse to not give shows to comedians right-wing bloggers don't want them to give shows to?  (breitbart.com)	(158)
(lvrj)		Jimmy Buffett is approved for casino license in Las Vegas. Immediately begins plans to offer high paying slots, video poker, the Buffett buffet  (lvrj.com)	(26)
(Post-Gazette)		University study entitled "Censorship and Deletion Practices in Chinese Social Media" narrows down a list of 295 words that will get your message deleted in China including Falun Gong, brainwash, and iodized salt  (post-gazette.com)	(33)

Coke and Pepsi deny food coloring in soda causes cancer. Obesity, rotting teeth and type 2 diabetes still in play  (huffingtonpost.com)

(24)

		Now that the Lipitor patent has expired, the FDA suddenly discovered that the drug can increase a person's risk of diabetes and memory loss. Enjoy your generics, folk  (utsandiego.com)	(25)
		Pre-kids: My snowflakes will have no TV, no fast food, no disposable diapers, and no temper tantrums unlike YOUR unruly kids. Post-kids: LOL J/K  (huffingtonpost.com)	(236)
		Now that Peyton Manning is on his way out, the good people of Indiana can focus their attention on what really matters: Naming an official state rifle  (indystar.com)	(30)
(Post City)		Earth's most powerful civilizations -- the Romans, the Greeks, the Chinese -- all made a big deal about eating an entire suckling pig as part of a magical ritual. Now the Canadians are discovering the allure  (postcity.com)	(38)
(KCTV5)		What would Jesus do? Accidentally dial 911 during a drug deal and get himself and another Jesus arrested  (kctv5.com)	(24)

		Because the media still isn't tired of crucifying Kirk Cameron, Alan Thicke and Tracey Gold speak out in reaction to Cameron's idiotic comments about homosexuality  (popwatch.ew.com)	(218)
		Family of ten albinos in India are world's biggest albino clan. Of course The Sun is there, with SPF50  (thesun.co.uk)	(81)
		Tired of slideshows from Comic Con? How about Comic Con in India?  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(44)
		India's unexpected ban on cotton exports leaves traders hanging by a thread  (blogs.marketwatch.com)	(14)
		Americans rate themselves as the world's worst tourists. French immediately demand a recount  (travelkit.msnbc.msn.com)	(163)

		As everyone already suspected, the lamestream drive-by MSM media has a complete double-standard for Rush Limbaugh  (crooksandliars.com)	(120)
		"Is it ever worthwhile to spend 100 hours playing a single video game?" Sometimes the media asks such stupid questions  (slate.com)	(309)
		Four inches of snow helpfully land on Indiana tornado devastation  (chicagotribune.com)	(45)
(Some Concerned Friend)		Alice_Liddell is undergoing radiation and chemo after having a large brain tumor removed. Fark brain tumors Please donate to her team w/the American Brain Tumor Association, then pray for her or send her good mojo or whatever it is that you do  (hope.abta.org)	(178)

		Lindsay Lohan's disastrous SNL performance gets unanimous thumbs down from all media outlets. "This may be the first time Lindsay Lohan had trouble doing lines"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(123)
		Hey teachers -- you know how you hate having to explain why Wikipedia shouldn't be used as a reference in term papers? Well, things just got worse  (theatlantic.com)	(157)

(Louisville Courier Journal)		Scenes from the tornadoes that hit southern Indiana  (courier-journal.com)	(58)
		Rain wrapped tornado crosses I-65 near Henryville Indiana. Has very Not safe for work language, but priceless dialogue from truckers on the CB  (youtube.com)	(44)

		Iceland to adopt the Canadian dollar? The rise of the Canadian Empire shall be remembered not for an epic battle, but for a pleasant handshake and some herring  (ctv.ca)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Red Sox sign Billy Buckner. Mets immediately sign Mookie Wilson  (weei.com)	(21)
		Photoshop this media mogul  (cdn3.spiegel.de)	(24)
(Some Guy)		"Who would have thought the polygamist in the race would not be either of the two Mormons?" Is this quote from A. Jon Stewart B. Bill Maher or C. Republican Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels  (thestarpress.com)	(54)
		After his untimely death, the future of Breitbart's media empire is unclear, leading to fears that the nation could suffer a critical shortage of political and pop-culture commentary from d-list celebrities and the clinically insane  (abcnews.go.com)	(217)

Disney World immediately closes new Epcot attraction after realizing it mocks most of the visitors  (orlandosentinel.com)

(236)

		And so it begins. Now that Mitt Romney looks to be the nominee, the media is wasting no time in doing feature stories on his religion. Everyone get ready for the Summer of Mormon  (washingtonpost.com)	(360)
		Martina Navratilova to join celebrity cast of DWTS, immediately begins practice to avoid foot faults  (suntimes.com)	(34)
(Some Guy)		Prosecutors concentrating on local rabbi's incendiary ash-for-cash scheme  (newyorkpost.com)	(11)
(Some Guy)		Japan moves towards legalizing casino gambling, braces for influx of American Indian tribes  (tokyotimes.co.jp)	(17)

(Some Guy)		"Traffic signals will have to be disassembled, power lines will have to be cut, and ramps built across medians, then everything will have to be reassembled before morning commuters hit the streets" for: (c) a rock  (y100.com)	(107)
		Tugboat reaches cruise ship adrift in pirate-infested Indian ocean, promises to bodyslam anyone that gets in its way  (foxnews.com)	(33)

		It's okay to be convicted of three felony counts of voter fraud if you're the Republican Secretary of State and chief election official of Indiana  (salon.com)	(61)
		Obama says "There is no magic bullet" that will instantly lower gas prices. GOP leaders immediately criticized Obama for dangerously weakening America by failing to maintain our magic bullet arsenal  (news.bostonherald.com)	(163)

One of the risks of people riding on top of trains in India is that this might happen  (youtube.com)

(70)

		British rival to Siri unveiled. Sure, she works on Android and Apple products, and copes with various British dialects, but can Evi tell if you want four candles or fork handles?  (guardian.co.uk)	(61)
		What did Elizabeth Taylor, Princess Diana, and Padma Lakshmi have in common? This guy  (dailymail.co.uk)	(39)

		The Fox Effect and how it shapes the media landscape. Today's lesson: Gas prices  (crooksandliars.com)	(134)
(Some Guy)		Twenty gallons of meth with a street value of $10 million found at Taco Bell. Printer ink industry executives shrug, laugh, go back tossing $50,000 bricks of hundreds into their platinum and diamond-encrusted fireplaces  (dfw.cbslocal.com)	(111)
		Rare 12.76 carat pink diamond discovered in Australia will be cut and go on world tour. Inspector Clouseau to provide security  (abcnews.go.com)	(65)

(Some Guy)

Old and busted: kidney stones. New hotness: kidney boulders. What the hell, India?  (punjabnewsline.com)

(70)

		India's $35 tablet computer program in trouble due to slow speed, short battery life and a clunky touch screen, but at least tech support is only a local phone call away  (msnbc.msn.com)	(13)
		Indiana's Speaker of the House Brian Bosma (R) responds to Rep. Bob Morris' absurd claims about the Girl Scouts connections to Planned Parenthood by passing out Girl Scout cookies on the floor of the House  (indystar.com)	(96)
		Santorum to media: Now that I've got an actual shot at winning this thng, please ignore all the crazy shiat I said during the 2008 campaign as it is "not relevant to what's being discussed in America today"  (nationaljournal.com)	(143)
		What to expect from tonight's GOP debate... aka the season finale of American Political Gladiators  (theweek.com)	(79)
		Times Square Billboards: "Don't Believe the Liberal Media!" Believing all the advertising is still A-Ok  (cnsnews.com)	(97)
		15,000 die on Indian railways every year because the toilets on the trains just empty onto the rails, corroding them to the point of breaking. Indian officials charged with not keeping track  (independent.co.uk)	(119)
		Canadian writer weighs the possibility of a brokered GOP convention, then nails precisely why it won't be  (news.yahoo.com)	(71)

		Personal gun ownership in India is surging, with as many as 3 guns for every 100 Indians. Americans react: *cough*rounding error*cough*  (latimes.com)	(121)
		Will Detroit bring their magic home win streak fairy on the road? Will Lundqvist's manish good looks prevent a Staal in Pittsburgh? Will Edmonton or Calgary figure out who's the better Canadian? It's your Tuesday night hockey thread  (nhl.com)	(334)
		Anderson Cooper gives Courtney Cox a bowl of his creamy white "dressing" which Courtney proceeds to gulp from the bowl as she tells him how good it tastes. Subby was confused by the lack of Japanese dialogue  (dailymail.co.uk)	(64)
		In the American healthcare system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the TV shows which write plots about diseases, and the viewers who diagnose themselves from them. These are their stories  (salon.com)	(24)

		Indiana Republican warns that the Girl Scouts are "radicalized" as proven by the fact that Michelle Obama is their honorary President  (chicagotribune.com)	(217)
		Rep. Paul Ryan (R-andian) is a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition when debating economic issues  (realclearpolitics.com)	(148)
(Slanch Report)		Only Doc Emrick can reference a J-Lo movie immediately following a brutal hockey fight  (slanchreport.com)	(48)
		Media: Income inequality is soaring and hitting new highs. Facts: Inequality peaked in 2000 and has been decreasing ever since, with the greatest decrease when Bush was president and the GOP controlled both houses  (newsbusters.org)	(207)
		News: Child lives as a girl and has been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder Fark: at age four  (telegraph.co.uk)	(328)

(Some Guy)

I keep seeing enormous squirrels around my neighborhood. They keep eating in preparation for a winter that hasn't materialized. Will there be a big problem with diabetic squirrels soon? Can squirrels get diabetes? Where's Brimley?  (mn.gov)

(163)

(Some Guy)

While the media is focusing on "Linsanity", Lebron is having one of the greatest statistical years in NBA history  (herald-dispatch.com)

(81)

(Some Guy)		Americans on SOPA: stop it now.. Canadians on Canadian SOPA: Let's tell our government everything, eh?  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(39)
		The right is attacking Media Matters because it matters  (salon.com)	(154)
		Media Matters tied to MoveOn, ACORN, Soros, Satan, the ghost of Hitler, the Chupacabra and reverse vampires  (kleinonline.wnd.com)	(220)

		Gizmodo gives props to Fark for directing them to a story about a remedial eBay user  (gizmodo.com)	(0)
(Some Guy)		Why does Rebecca Romijn have "Wilford Brimley" diabetus cadaver feet?  (pics.wikifeet.com)	(75)

(Chronicle)

Professor and author of two books on the 1886 Haymarket riot attempts to correct an inaccuracy on the event's Wikipedia entry; has correction reversed, is called a vandal, is told site is based on what's popular, not what's true  (chronicle.com)

(361)

I don't expect witty repartee kid, just give me a sign when the diaper is full so I can wait it out in the basement  (myfoxdc.com)

(15)

The man who ordered the assassination of an Iranian nuclear scientist by attaching a bomb to his car denounces the Iranian-backed "terrorists" who attached bombs to cars of his ambassadors in Georgia and India  (news.yahoo.com)

(150)

Indian stocks curry investors' favor for a sixth straight week  (marketwatch.com)

(4)

		"Comedian" celebrates Black History Month by putting on blackface make-up and embarrassing BYU students  (dailymail.co.uk)	(252)
		Grower payment scandal claims jobs of Diamond Foods CEO and CFO, leaves farmers wanting to cut their nuts off  (reuters.com)	(8)

(msnbc)		IRS updates their smartphone app. Will now check your tax return and immediately tell how much jail time you can realistically expect to serve  (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(37)
		Mr. Bay wants to kill the QR code. Hopefully WITH LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS AND FORCED DIALOGUE  (businessweek.com)	(59)
(Some Guy)		Blizzard Entertainment Game Development VP Axl Rose would like you to know that there will be a little delay with the Diablo 3 release but that it's going to be totally awesome  (slashgear.com)	(63)
		The world lost a great comedian 12 years ago today, know what I mean Vern? Bonus: graduated from same high school Drew did  (en.wikipedia.org)	(103)
		Seems Wikipedia wouldn't forgive GoDaddy even if Danica sent Jimmy a Valentine  (networkworld.com)	(5)
(Some Joe C. Sidekick)		Kid Rock steps out from Waffle House melee to refute his Not-Made-In-Detroit clothing line charges; "Let me first start off by cordially inviting you to go f*ck yourself"  (kidrock.com)	(152)
		English woman gets flu, loses voice, regains voice, but can only speak in a French accent, immediately surrenders  (dailymail.co.uk)	(14)

(Great Falls Tribune)		If you ever drop your weed by the side of the road let it go, because man, it's gone, and the cops will find the methadone, opiates and benzodiazepines in your car and bloodstream when they stop to see what you're looking for  (greatfallstribune.com)	(33)
		Ever wonder what dinosaur comedians heard when nobody understood their jokes?  (boingboing.net)	(11)
		U.S. economic embargo of Cuba turns 50. Canadians light up a Cohiba in our honor  (usatoday.com)	(133)
		Former PA State Senator compares driver's licenses to slavery, immediately jumps to third in GOP primary  (readingeagle.com)	(39)

(IEEE Spectrum)		(Almost) everyone loves the Taiwanese media animations of current news events. Now, learn the cool story of the man behind the Next Media madness (and how they do it so quickly)  (spectrum.ieee.org)	(28)
		Wolfman family in India seeks help for their rare genetic affliction, hopes to enlist the aid of Tom Cruise, who has decades of experience dealing with beards  (dailymail.co.uk)	(82)

		Consumer officials warn about online dating scams. Wait, you mean she isn't a Canadian supermodel who loves World of Warcraft?  (wrcbtv.com)	(112)
		Gingrich's spokesman edits wikipedia page to remove all mention of Newt's marriages, ethics violations, and add important facts about his balancing the budget, defeating communisism, and killing Osama Bin Laden with his giant penis  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(67)

Protip: Ditch your coke *before* repeatedly dialing 9-1-1 for your chest pains  (wtsp.com)

(19)

		For all those who have wished Josh Powell would diaf, here ya go  (sltrib.com)	(165)
(Some Guy)		Canadian police determine that certain astrological signs are more likely to be Aries-ted  (inquisitr.com)	(49)

(Some mma fan)		UFC 143 ppv discussion thread Will a Nick Diaz win over Carlos Condit make him seem like less of a douche or more ? Will Roy Nelson find Fabricio Werdum more than he can stomach or find him delicious? Prelims on FX 8pm EST  (mmamania.com)	(832)
		Further proving that liberals are wholly responsible for voter fraud, the Republican Indiana Secretary State has been personally convicted of six charges of voter fraud   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(142)
		New York Times post $40 million loss in 2011. However, it was spread out liberally among all its media businesses  (mediabistro.com)	(53)

		Canadian Senator wants to give prisoners the option of being in the loop  (ctv.ca)	(143)
		Step 1: begin copying photos from a woman's Facebook page and blog, step 2: setup social media accounts and new blog under a new name and post them for months, step 3: profit?  (wral.com)	(111)
		College student gives up cell phone and all social media for three months--and actually survives to tell the tale  (chicagotribune.com)	(51)
		Jewish Indiana Jones faces 20 years in prison. He chose...poorly  (msnbc.msn.com)	(94)
		Indiana lawmakers pass last-minute legislation making it more difficult for thousands of men to find hookers for the Super Bowl  (foxnews.com)	(36)
		Susan G. Komen: Defunding Planned Parenthood was not politically motivated but a new policy against donating to organizations under investigation. Media: What about the $7.5M you gave Penn State? Susan G. Komen: *crickets*  (motherjones.com)	(183)
(Some Guy)		You can tell Valentine's Day is near, because the media has produced the first "ZOMG, PERVERTED CANDY HEARTS" story of the season  (kcra.com)	(44)
		"Yeah, fill 'er up and check the radiator Josés under the hood"  (ktla.com)	(20)

Having run out of regular immigrants, Canada recruits bureaucrats to pose as new Canadians for a citizenship ceremony  (abcnews.go.com)

(37)

		Everyone freaks out after comedian says "wanker" on live BBC broadcast. What a bunch of bollocks  (thesun.co.uk)	(64)
		Tiny amount of radiation 'could have' leaked from nuclear power plant but there's absolutely nothing to worry about, say officials in Japan. Oops, I mean California  (mercurynews.com)	(101)
		The universe of reality TV shows organized into a colorful Venn diagram. XKCD can suck it  (nymag.com)	(30)
		7'5" Mamadou Ndiaye, the tallest high school basketball player in the world, is a stand out in his latest game in California  (youtube.com)	(109)

(Mail)		20-year-old babysitter's diary entry about 14-year-old boy: 'I don't care about the law.' The law: 'Ahem'  (middletownpress.com)	(207)
		Comedian from popular, news-savvy TV show launches Presidential campaign to expose foibles of the political process. No, we're not talking about Stephen Colbert. Come upon my lawn and let me tell you about Pat Paulsen  (rollingstone.com)	(67)
		Economies of midwest states, particularly Michigan, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania, have improved faster than the rest of the U.S. since 2009. Not that this fact has any particular relevance in this particular year  (bloomberg.com)	(171)
		Nicolas Cage poses with his new wax figure which is immediately offered all of his acting roles  (starpulse.com)	(32)
		Orlando Magic defense finally rises to the occasion by holding powerful 76ers to season low 74 points. Unfortunately, Orlando Magic offense again takes the night off and dials in a horrific 69 point performance  (orlandosentinel.com)	(34)
		Alec Baldwin lost 30 pounds after discovering he was prediabetic. Or postdiabetic, Dr. Spaceman always gets those two confused  (dailymail.co.uk)	(48)

		"Could a club drug offer almost immediate relief from depression?" Um...isn't that the whole point of taking it?  (npr.org)	(45)
(Some Guy)		Mother-of-the-year tarts up 5-year-old for TV, sues media for $30M because her snowflake is "perceived sexually"   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com)	(172)
(Mossad)		US to launch war with Iran in May, says Israeli media with absolutely no personal interest in creating a self fulfilling prophecy  (debka.com)	(134)
		Facebook IPO predicted to raise $10 billion. Mark Zuckerberg immediately eyes 25 million new acres of fake farm land  (smh.com.au)	(42)
		There are six primary methods of eliminating potential challengers with the tacit cooperation of the mainstream media, and they have been in full display this primary season  (americanthinker.com)	(167)
		Orlando Magic free fall continues. Last night's 21-point blowout brought to you courtesy of the Indiana Pacers  (orlandosentinel.com)	(62)
		Yeah, that COULD be the coolest Diablo costume ever... Or it could doom the wearer to a lifetime of virginity  (techeblog.com)	(37)
(Some Guy)		Another foot washes ashore on Vancouver beach, is immediately offered roster spot with Baltimore Ravens  (huffingtonpost.ca)	(53)

		I have no idea what you're saying so here's a picture of a bunch of Indian kids dressed up like Gandhi  (chron.com)	(39)
		55-year-old Florida man claiming Indian descent wears war paint, headdresses, and performs sacred dance ceremonies at heritage festivals across the state. Some Native Americans have a problem with this (w/ pic of alleged Indian)  (heraldtribune.com)	(164)

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