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headlines found matching 'Crime'
Mon May 20, 2019
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Woman recounts the arrival of SWAT team with smoke bombs and gunfire at homeless encampment. Although, considering the amount of drugs recovered, it's a wonder she didn't see Scooby Doo or Puff the Magic Dragon
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Military reminds Trump that pardoning war criminals is bad for business
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Eleven Brazilians dead after mass shooting in bar. Was that place yuuuge or what?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 19, 2019
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Just one more Justin Bieber crime against humanity
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Europe convinces Switzerland to tighten gun restrictions. With photo of what a European holding a gun might look like
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump plans to celebrate Memorial Day by pardoning US military servicemen accused or convicted of war crimes, because that's how the Commander in Chief preserves the honor of our troops
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 18, 2019
(CBC)
 
 
 
Toronto police collect 2,700 firearms through gun buyback program. Why did they sell them in the first place?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 17, 2019
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If a bartender yells "Last Call" and doesn't see you, does it really count?
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Mystery behind tiger found in vacant Houston home solved. Owner would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling kids breaking in to smoke pot
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
If you have a miscarriage in the wrong state, your reproductive tract will be considered a crime scene
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Dodger pitcher Julio Urias put on 7 days' leave after a battery arrest. Hopefully to learn the difference between being part of the battery and committing it
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin to President Trump:"So, you're calling the FBI investigation into your campaign treason? Well, about that" *lights up verbal flamethrower*
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin to President Trump:"So, you're calling the FBI investigation into your campaign treason? Well, about that" *lights up verbal flamethrower*
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Germany's top court has ordered a radio station to air a neo-Nazi party ad. Apparntly neo-Nazi ads were permissible because the station plays an oldies format
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Grocery store robber tells cops they won't like him when he's angry
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Drug ring dismantled in Operation 'Smooth Criminal.' Operation 'Beat It' making inroads into assault cases, while Operation 'Thriller' reports no success at zombie eradication
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Remember the cop that pulled a gun on a black guy picking up trash in his own yard? Ever wonder what happened to him?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Woody Harrelson catches beer thief. Next: Bruce Dern catches survivalist bomb maker
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Three arrested after Jack-in-the-Box adds Bacon Ultimate Crackburger to the menu
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ledger-Enquirer)
 
 
 
Suitcase full of marijuana stolen before rapper was shot and killed at Pizza Hut. Fellow rappers set to release tribute album entitled Suitcase Full of Marijuana
source: ledger-enquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lawmaker)
 
 
 
You're next, Alaska
source: akleg.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lawmaker)
 
 
 
You're next, Alaska
source: akleg.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 16, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Josu Ternera, leader of Basque separatist militia, apparently had a 16-year ETA to be caught. And the T just A'd
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Police investigating after naked burglar is caught on camera, possibly to find out exactly how he was planning on carrying away loot
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, especially when the police just kind of shrug and let everyone go
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Doing my job is not my job. Guess who said this
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Man arrested for selling ice cream outside school. Explanation: Texas
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Alabama governor signs Human Life Protection Act because of deeply held beliefs that every life is precious & a sacred gift from God. In related story, Alabama plans to execute Brandon Samra tonight
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
House Democrats to read the Mueller report aloud in Capitol hearing room, which, let's face it, should make for scintillating C-SPAN
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 15, 2019
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
Seattle Councilwoman Kshama Sawant has come up with the solution for drive by shootings. Raised flowerbeds. Flower children everywhere dance with joy while singing Age of Aquarius
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're creating DIY glory holes, you probably shouldn't locate them in Target dressing rooms
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Woman, 29, busted for striking hospital worker with "used" feminine napkin
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Up North Live)
 
 
 
Apparently bribery and lying to FBI are still considered a crime for Michigan Republican officials
source: upnorthlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Tennessee governor will not intervene in Don Johnson's execution. Tubbs inconsolable
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Who throws a coconut, honestly?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
The Oregon City underwear bandit may be the next villain Austin Powers faces
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
An ex-manager of Stan Lee has a warrant issued for his arrest for charges of elder abuse. Subby is considering starting a GoFundMe to hire Deadpool to catch up to him first
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 14, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man arrested for striking sleeping girlfriend with his cheeseburger
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
A little late, Schiff, but in hindsight it makes sense
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCTV Tallahassee)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested at Candyland Park. Told police that he thought playing nekkid basketball would improve his skills. He thought wrong
source: wctv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 13, 2019
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
As it turns out, leaking classified information is a federal crime and Rod Rosenstein was tasked with finding the leakers. This is a problem, for some reason
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Britney Spears now part of the Free Britney movement, refuses to be left alone
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Software update blue screens hundreds of Netherlands police ankle monitors
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Dennis Rodman denying a role in an alleged yoga studio burglary. Apparently it makes sense, especially with how great yoga pants are for support when worn underneath a wedding dress
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Lindsey Graham's southern belle facade drops as it's clear Trump's crimes can no longer be hidden. Grab the fainting couch, boys
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 12, 2019
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Making a joke about vodak can get you kicked off a plane now, apparently
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 11, 2019
(Vox)
 
 
 
North Dakota legalized marijuana a week or so ago, but everyone was so chill it only showed up on the news today (Edit: subby was too high to spell "decriminalized")
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
North Dakota legalized marijuana a week or so ago, but everyone was so chill it only showed up on the news today (Edit: subby was too high to spell "decriminalized")
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
German park in Berlin designates "pink zones" for drug deals. Not the red zone or the green zone, the pink zone to get zonkered
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Meet the San Francisco man who eats leftover food off other people's plates. "I feel like this is a victimless crime. As a matter of fact, I think chefs don't want to see food go to waste. I don't think there's any negativity to be doing this"
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 10, 2019
(US House of Representatives)
 
 
 
Swalwell and Nadler introduce bill to pause statutes of limitations during presidential terms; or the Fark You In Particular, Donny Act
source: swalwell.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US House of Representatives)
 
 
 
Swalwell and Nadler introduce bill to pause statutes of limitations during presidential terms; or the Fark You In Particular, Donny Act
source: swalwell.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Got a hot Tinder date coming up with a girl named Becky or Victoria? You gonna get carjacked
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Elderly husband ends "disrespectful talk" from 47-year-old wife in Old West tradition
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Las Vegas woman arrested for murder after pushing 74-year-old man off public transportation, now being charged with throwing him under the bus
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Remember Manny Machado being tricked into signing a 'check' from the Braves mascot? Lawyer now answers the question of whether he was legally responsible to pay the $300 million ... or if there was a crime of potential theft and fraud
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beethoven)
 
 
 
"New York state is fifth in the U.S. for ____." You'll never guess
source: wpdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Last year a Tennessee lawmaker co-sponsored a bill making it easier for people to protect themselves in their cars. Today it has crossed his mind that his state is full of Tennesseans
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 09, 2019
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Not sure which is weirder. That a 16 year old girl found naked in 56 year old man's apartment was wearing a court-ordered ankle bracelet, or that it could be cut off with scissors
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Manafort's law license...DELORTED
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If you picked Anniston, AL as most dangerous military town one could be stationed at, come on down, pick up your Kevlar body armor
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAOW Wausau)
 
 
 
Man leaves behind backpack in a library with meth and clear plastic nunchucks, then tells an elaborate backstory when he comes to claim it. The librarians were not impressed
source: waow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Women commit strong-arm robbery, stealing over $3600 in perfume. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if they weren't the only car on the road with its license plate covered with pair of panties
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Prosecutor says Trump's child separation policy is a "crime against humanity." Pfffttt. What does he know about crimes against humanity? What's that? He prosecuted Nazis at the Nuremberg Trials? Ah, ok then
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Prosecutor says Trump's child separation policy is a "crime against humanity." Pfffttt. What does he know about crimes against humanity? What's that? He prosecuted Nazis at the Nuremberg Trials? Ah, ok then
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Newly free Antonio Bascaro holds the record for the longest completed sentence for a non-violent marijuana crime -- 39 years for helping smuggle 600,000 pounds
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 08, 2019
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
♫ Then the liver and onions started joinin' the fight and the chocolate pudding pushed me with all its might and the chop suey slapped me, and it kicked me in the head ♫
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
Insys did technically develop a Fentanyl spray that worked, and Theranos did technically open up wellness centers. The indictments for fraud, bribery, racketeering, and bad rap videos were just unfortunate "Company of the Year" award footnotes
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Italian mayor says TV show 'Gomorrah' causes an increase in violent crime. As opposed to showing episodes of "The Kardashians" which causes the city's IQ to drop 30 points
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox returning to Italy for a conference that is in no way a trap or clever ruse
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox returning to Italy for a conference that is in no way a trap or clever ruse
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man accused of throwing concrete blocks, large rocks at police vehicles for the third time, says he's beta testing Grand Theft Auto: Stone Age
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Just as other "social media" encourages and disseminates stupid, "neighbor" apps are next in line, because harassing people of color isn't just for hysterical white women dialing 911 when they see an unauthorized lemonade stand
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Just as other "social media" encourages and disseminates stupid, "neighbor" apps are next in line, because harassing people of color isn't just for hysterical white women dialing 911 when they see an unauthorized lemonade stand
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Let's be honest, if inanimate objects were talking to you and you thought the sirens in your rearview mirror were "fake cops," you'd run too
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: woman arrested. Weird news: for "offending religious feelings." WTF news: by painting Jesus and Mary with rainbow halos
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 07, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Giant robotic arm catches SpaceX's Dragon cargo spacecraft. Now will you kids stop with your remote-control drones and giant robotic arms and let NASA do its damn job??
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
How to win an argument, Alabama edition: set the house on fire
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Trump supporter, donor and upcoming XFL commish Vince McMahon insists the league's anti-protest rule has nothing to do with race
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Great, my cover is blown. So to speak
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man wanted for stealing 24 bottles of Hennessy from Costco, presumably one for each hour of the day
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
I've got a theory that he was drinking
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ledger)
 
 
 
Florida man with a suspended license since 1978 manages to ram a police car with a riding lawnmower. George Jones hoists a brew and snorts a line in salute
source: theledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 06, 2019
(The Hill)
 
 
 
War crimes are now fair game for a pardon
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Those who came before me. Lived through their vocations. From the past until completion. They'll turn away no more, and I still find it so hard to say what I need to say, but I'm quite sure that you'll tell me this is your 8 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Michael Cohen goes full Leonard Cohen, says there is much more to be told
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The world may be shiat with a rabid shiatgibbon in the White House, so here's a clip of his former fixer leaving his house for the last time as he goes on a 3-year prison hiatus
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Trump can't legally prevent Mueller from testifying
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Colorado man in a flurry of trouble after robbing Dairy Queen store twice in two hours
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Car thief tasered by police. Wait, strike that. Reverse it
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 05, 2019
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Beds Cambs and Herts Road Policing officers seize prolific road traffic offender after recognising him behind the wheel again in Peterborough. "He has 51 points on his licence. Yes, that is 51"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 04, 2019
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Never ever accept a challenge of a slap fight with an officer. This is Fark, you know what happened
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Never ever accept a challenge of a slap fight with an officer. This is Fark, you know what happened
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You have to be a pretty brazen thief to take an entire 700 pound Pepsi vending machine from a Washington state business. Especially when the store is across the street from a police station
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 03, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police issue an arrest warrant for rapper Offset after he was set off
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Mommy state 'not a surveillance state' says the guy defending full-time public facial recognition
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Europol takes down Wall Street, leaves Anacott Steel alone
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Not news: Old train station employee gets arrested for upskirting schoolgirl. News: Next day's morning commute is delayed because he was responsible for opening the station. Fark: He was too ashamed to notify boss he wouldn't be coming in
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Not news: Old train station employee gets arrested for upskirting schoolgirl. News: Next day's morning commute is delayed because he was responsible for opening the station. Fark: He was too ashamed to notify boss he wouldn't be coming in
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police seize copy of Anarchist's Cookbook. Subby advises them not to try making bananadine, it doesn't work
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ragerts, they've had a few, but then again, too few to menshen
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
I'm sorry sir, but that's not what the sign means by "Pickle Research"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Looks like a Bitcoin exit scam caused dark web wall street market crash. A scam involving Bitcoin on the dark web. Who woulda thunk it?
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
The benefits package for Australian cops just got a whole lot better
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(More Potatoes)
 
 
 
There have been many instances of a book stopping a bullet and saving a life. A Kindle won't stop a bullet unless you download the Bullet-stopping App
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Two Oklahoma police gun down a 17-year-old, unarmed black kid. In their defense, it's so hard to tell if someone's armed when they're completely naked
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 02, 2019
(Grand Island Independent)
 
 
 
Headline: Man arrested "simply because it was time to arrest him." There was also the $200K embezzled from the high school choir, but no need to mention that
source: theindependent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Only 5?
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGEM Quincy)
 
 
 
Redneck neighbors fight over who has worst facial hair, probably
source: wgem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
38% increase in sexual assaults from 2016 to 2018 in the United States Military. No idea what happened around that time period that would make predators feel emboldened
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Pelosi: "What is deadly serious about it is the attorney general of the United States of America was not telling the truth to the Congress of the United States. That's a crime"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
'Police Chase Ends After Vehicle Crashes Into Golden Corral In Fayetteville' is the most Arkansas headline you'll read today
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
I'm okay with being forced to drink liquor and snort cocaine. Being wrapped in plastic that is staple-gunned to my body? Not so much
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
That time Stephen Moore, Herman Cain, and the Koch Brothers collaborated on a crime
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
I used to purr like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ecards)
 
 
 
There are many ways to make a 'vegan lasagna'. This is not one of them
source: someecards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 01, 2019
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
After marinating in the accused thief's pants, the $62 Angus beef rib roast was discarded "due to contamination," cops say
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
124 tires. You have to admire the tenacity
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Suborning perjury is not a crime - William Barr AG
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economic Education Foundation)
 
 
 
How a young Joe Biden became the architect of asset forfeiture
source: fee.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
You know you've hit rock bottom when you try and rob a DQ...twice...in the same day. Complete with "should have robbed a Supercuts" mugshot goodness
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
How gangs use social media to come out and play-ay *clink-clink-clink*
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"DING DONG...and now here's the crime news for the neighborhood"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
High Court of Australia to decide if Aboriginal peoples can be deported. Let that one sink in for a moment. Take all the time you need
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Police search for man that steals soap. So far he hasn't been caught. You could say it was a sudsy.. no wait, a fresh smelling.. oh, what kind of getaway would this be?
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Resign? Please, he should be DisBarred. Haw haw haw haw
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Press-Tribune)
 
 
 
Testing proves that the largest marijuana bust in Idaho State Police history was in fact hemp. Idaho prosecutors undeterred, however, and still intend to sell the seized truck and prosecute the driver - mandatory 5 years in prison. For hemp
source: idahopress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 30, 2019
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
After the success of the Mueller report, House Democrats hire a former FBI white collar crime expert to probe Trump's finances. Again. On a related note, if you start practicing now, the sentence "Trump wins a second term" won't hurt so much
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Totally awesome dash cam video of a car chase, complete with gun fire, scattering tricycles, and a car flip. Begs for yackety sax
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I know the creepy train toucher is saying "innocent" but all I'm hearing is "sideburns"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville News-Democrat)
 
 
 
The poncho wearing bank robber featured on Fark two weeks ago has been caught
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville News-Democrat)
 
 
 
The poncho wearing bank robber featured on Fark two weeks ago has been caught
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Watertown Daily Times)
 
 
 
Judge: Oh hang on, he only raped ONE teenage girl? NBD bro, no jail time
source: watertowndailytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Florida woman pulls out her Hi-Point and suddenly thinks she's Chuck Norris
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
The real question is why Florida Man was in a library
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 29, 2019
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
New Hampshire man with four wives pleads guilty to bigamy and begs the court for mercy after being sentenced to house arrest
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Woman suspects her husband is cheating, so she naturally calls the cops and reports a fake burglary in progress, to "spook" her husband
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
No sunny days ahead for Ramesh Balwani, Elizabeth Holmes' partner-in-crime at Theranos, as former employees lash out at the "morally bankrupt sociopathic liar"
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 28, 2019
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob a store, set your standards a little higher than Dollar Tree
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fine, you're free to go, but your brain is getting sent to prison
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In other shooting news, good guys with guns shoot three out of four children in truck with man they wanted to question
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 27, 2019
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Want out of your failing restaurant and enormous debt? Stage a hate crime, of course
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Want out of your failing restaurant and enormous debt? Stage a hate crime, of course
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Enter Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) "Oh, we gettin' that album back. You hear me, Pharma Bro?"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alternative Press)
 
 
 
"Dancing's Not A Crime," but not knowing who Brendon Urie is sure is. The Panic At The Disco frontman's existence in Taylor Swift's "ME" video baffled many Swifties
source: altpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 26, 2019
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Pai Mei strokes his goatee, nods in approval
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Pai Mei strokes his goatee, nods in approval
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man shot next to Nipple Hustle describes the incident as being "all bad"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Anti-hate crime charity tricks british far-right xenophobes into wearing "St. George was Syrian" t-shirts to a public celebration
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pet sitting? No problem. Pet sitting in your lap while driving? $448 ticket
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Anchorage police search for man they say rammed patrol cars with stolen truck, frightened online newspaper readers
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
The thin red line between generational wealth and generational poverty, explained
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
How Joe Biden's greatest feminist achievement sent thousands of women to prison
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
State prosecutor who hosted "Cold Justice" is evading service for testimony and may be jailed. Fark: prosecutor's nickname is "giant killer". Bonus: her pic may give you a giant
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Despite some slips in 2018, the USA is still leading the world
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 25, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Why did the huge NOPE cross the road? Because all the nice people let it, of course
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geeks Are Sexy)
 
 
 
Fark Ready Headline: The Velocipastor Features a Priest That Becomes a Dinosaur to Fight Ninjas
source: geeksaresexy.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Honey caught stealing diapers and beer
source: wtam.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump is now squeezing six lies into three statements, which is at least impressive in its efficiency
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Armed robber steals 9-week-old rottweiler from pet shop. Will have to continue crime spree to pay food bill
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 24, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tom Arnold, the Walter Cronkite of our time, scores an interview with Michael Cohen. Well kinda
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Polly warns a crackhead
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Now)
 
 
 
Apparently spraying your DNA on robbers helps to deter them from robbing your store
source: lasvegasnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Now)
 
 
 
Apparently spraying your DNA on robbers helps to deter them from robbing your store
source: lasvegasnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada releases a fabulous new loonie to celebrate LGBTQ2 rights
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 23, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're going to break into the governor's mansion, make sure you're well rested first
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
"A Florida man's car was stolen with his son inside. He chased the car for five miles, then shot the thief"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
♫ Rapper Melly, ♪ shakin' like jelly, ♫ lyin' in prison like R Kelly. ♪ Prosecution seek death penalty, ♫ as you can see, ♪ for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee ♫
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
♫ Rapper Melly, ♪ shakin' like jelly, ♫ lyin' in prison like R Kelly. ♪ Prosecution seek death penalty, ♫ as you can see, ♪ for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee ♫
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The Florida man who said he was defending a woman while fighting in an Easter bunny costume and not a violent person is a fugitive wanted for armed robbery in New Jersey
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why there's such a problem with crime and homelessness in Seattle? Yakima County dropping off prisoners in Seattle homeless camps might be part of it
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Apparently, they all look alike
source: thisisinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Buttigieg: letting rapists, murderers, child pornographers have the vote is probably not the best idea, Grampa Sanders
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 22, 2019
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
I got 99 problems, but a light pole ain't one of them
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Man wearing "be a good human shirt" isn't
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The so-called 'ringleader' of a hate crime that killed a black man in Jasper, Texas in 1998, by tying him to a truck and dragging him over 3 miles, causing his death, is scheduled to be executed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Republicans don't care about collusion, but independents might
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"You don't even have to be convicted of a crime to lose your job in this constitutional republic if this body determines your conduct as a public official is clearly out of bounds in your role"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Impeachment talk is dangerous, BUT
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Headline: "North Carolina Man Accused of Shooting Two Children in Road Rage Incident." Article doesn't explain why those kids were driving or why driver did not just give them a timeout at the next rest stop
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 21, 2019
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
Tonight, on Supergirl, Kara and Lena look for clues in the big house to find Lex Luthor, the big louse. And when it's over you'll be an hour closer to seeing Endgame. (CW 8PM ET)
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Unemployed mother of three receives suspended sentence for stuffing cheese down pants. The judge sensed some gouda in her
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Well, hopefully it doesn't lead to a sudden decline in population
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Australian voters care about climate change
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Just because you were caught digging up a 100-year-old corpse to lick the bones and then boil them and drink the water, that's no reason to hide your face
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 20, 2019
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Grand Rapids is considering whether to criminalize the Barbecue Beckys
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 19, 2019
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Driver uses gun to foil car thief. Oh, wait, that's not it. Car thief shoots driver with driver's own gun
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Will Congress get the full, unredacted report? Will the House Judiciary begin investigating whether the president committed high crimes and misdemeanors? Will Mueller testify? THIS is your Trump scandal rumor/speculation thread (~4 PM ET news dump)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
We will do what we always do. Break the law
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"He doesn't have to say, 'Go lie for me' to be a crime. You don't have to say 'Let's obstruct justice' for it to be a crime. You judge people on their conduct, not magic phrases"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 18, 2019
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The Florida teenager who was arrested last month for attempting the 'RKO; wrestling move on his principal, has been arrested once again - this time for trying the finishing move on a plastic alligator at a mall
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
He couldn't have committed a crime because he was paranoid due to being accused of a crime
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(More Potatoes)
 
 
 
I tried to write free-verse poetry, but I had difficulty not coming up with a rhyme when I didn't need one
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Sports radio personality Justin Pawlowski arrested for soliciting 14-year-old boy for sex online. Who knew Florida tag topics could crop up on Fark's Sports page?
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 17, 2019
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
The wonderful and good-looking City Council of beautiful and friendly Peachtree City, Georgia proposes to sue anyone who says they're not any of those things
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
He's pretty angry for someone who's been fully vindicated on all charges
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida Man explains why he buried his friend in the backyard
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
White House braces for impact of asteroid Mueller
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 16, 2019
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
James Bond's grandson must live in TX
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Article with headline "Louisiana church fires suspect charged with hate crimes" offers no explanation for why he was working for them in the first place
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Brazilian ATM thieves are fusing dynamite with serious firepower
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
When Florida Man gets into the jewelry business
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Armed robber celebrates bring your daughter to work day
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Economics 101: When your city is a crime-ridden hellhole, rents are cheap. When your city ceases being a crime-ridden hellhole, rents go up
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Actual headline: One-legged drug dealer on the run after trying to import 8,000,000 pounds of speed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 15, 2019
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Soliciting the murder of your stepfather is a serious charge that requires a million dollar bail, oh you're pregnant well that changes everything you can go just promise to show up at your next court date
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Can London's knife-crime crisis be stopped? This may be a repeat from 1888
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
♫ I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty witty and bright And I pity my boyfriend tonight. ♫
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Judge orders indictment against some Ass unsealed, revealing an Asston of charges that have been ready to go since 2017. *mic drop*
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
New Jersey bride takes her vows seriously, standing by her husband in sickness, health, and court appearances for getting drunk, sexually assaulting a waitress in a bathroom, and starting a fight with cops
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
New Jersey bride takes her vows seriously, standing by her husband in sickness, health, and court appearances for getting drunk, sexually assaulting a waitress in a bathroom, and starting a fight with cops
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
40-year-old Fukuoka man arrested for stealing used tennis rackets from high school boys' locker room to gratify his fetish for used tennis rackets. "I like the smell of sweat that seeps into the racket handles"
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
40-year-old Fukuoka man arrested for stealing used tennis rackets from high school boys' locker room to gratify his fetish for used tennis rackets. "I like the smell of sweat that seeps into the racket handles"
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman attacks boyfriend George Washington because he cannot tell a lie. My suggestion is, don't ask questions when you may not like the answers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
The suspect charged with throwing a child off the balcony at Mall of America says he went there looking to be an asshole
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Niagara Falls memorial service degenerates into alcohol-fueled brawl, one arrested. Bonus: arrestee named "Pleasure Cox"
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man, 71, arrested for vile water pisstol attack
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Stocking up on popcorn intensifies
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
It's quite harmful, but the proponents falsely claim otherwise
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 14, 2019
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Texa$ will $till jail you for unpaid parking ticket$ for rea$on$
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(660 City News)
 
 
 
Lord tunderin', that's a crime-fighting moose, b'y
source: 660citynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man breaks into electrical substation to conduct theft, electricity
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Get out your shocked face: Police officer won't face charges for shooting an inmate in a holding cell after DA said he was "excused" for thinking it was okay
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 13, 2019
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
If you think you'll get away with a 47-year-old crime because nobody did DNA back then, you might want to avoid throwing your coffee cup away
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 12, 2019
(WQOW Eau Pair)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, a story that contains "a woman was doing karate and a man was naked in the back of the store while their dog ran free" that does not carry the Florida tag
source: wqow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton responds to Julian Assange's arrest: 'He has to answer for what he has done.' Assange expected to turn up dead any moment now
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
NCIS will return for an inexplicable 17th season because CBS needs something for the elderly to enjoy
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Eleven year old ordered deported without her family because we live in the best timeline ever
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
As you're arriving home, you notice a *lot* of cops around. Then you realize: they've surrounded *your* dwelling. They haven't noticed you yet. What do you do?
source: handsalltogether.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
As you're arriving home, you notice a *lot* of cops around. Then you realize: they've surrounded *your* dwelling. They haven't noticed you yet. What do you do?
source: handsalltogether.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Officer to meowing suspect: "How much have you had to drink tonight?" Accused: "Not enough"
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 11, 2019
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
'An adult club without a name, a bottle of booze and an eye patch lead to a fight that landed a man in jail' This is not an Avengers: Endgame review on Rotten Tomatoes
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas GOP legislator who stopped the "death penalty for having an abortion" bill is now facing safety concerns
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida man with more than a passing resemblance to Matthew McConaughey arrested after being found shirtless, eating spaghetti with his bare hands. Alright, alright, alright
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And the final tally of the Minneapolis sex trafficking sting during the Final Four: 58 arrested, 28 recused
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Highway Patrol responds to three naked women at interstate rest stop applying suntan lotion after showering who then flee in sedan. Hilarity ensues
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ass-rested
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 10, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Why do they call it Smuggler's Inn? The answer probably won't surprise you
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Lawmaker introduces bill that will begin Texas' transformation into Gilead
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Kim Kardashian plans to take the California Bar, but without going to law school because reading "is what really gets [her]. It's so time-consuming"
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Couple strip, masturbate and engage in lewd behavior on a public bus, get thrown off after getting aggressive with the bus driver too. Arrested later after trying to board another bus because they're not quitters
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Qanon believer running for Congress. You'll never guess his platform
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Daily Camera)
 
 
 
Add "walking with a cane to help with seizures" to the list of things you can't do while black in America
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"As Bokonon says: 'peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from god."― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Hey, I got an idea, let's go to Narnia. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, into the wardrobe edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver police officer caught on camera leaving work early to go to a strip club. Also misused a police database to look up the criminal history of a dancer and two of her associates at the club. A dancer found dead in November
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 09, 2019
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
White local politician crime really does pay to play. Probation and fines will really teach them
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LAPD to scrap some crime data programs to identify those most likely to commit violent crimes. Which turned out to be anyone going into a 7-Eleven after midnight
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Barr's tactic with the Mueller report is the same as that of a deejay playing to an empty house: spin and delay
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Thieves keep stealing the wheels from Jackson, Mississippi police cars. Police chief says the investigation has stalled and that they have nothing to go on
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Republicans begin to take same position on hate crimes and rise of white nationalism in US as they did on global warming
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Turns out that racist policing causes the targets of the racism to hate the cops
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Rep. Higgins (R-La.) goes full Liam Neeson on whoever burnt down three black churches in his district: "wherever you are, we're watching, you're not going to get away. You're not going to escape. We will catch you. We will arrest you"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Have a drug debt to repay? Just a reminder, children are not considered currency
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Man charged with threatening to kill Rep. Ilhan Omar. Man "denies he called her a terrorist and threatened to kill her. But after he was warned that it was a crime to lie to an FBI agent, he acknowledged he may have said something to that effect"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
In the same month, Florida man buys an $8 million private island and gets arrested for shoplifting $300 worth of stuff from Kmart
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Michael Cohen might have 14 million pages of documents but Adam Schiff ain't helping him stay out of jail
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 08, 2019
(AP News)
 
 
 
New Zealand official says Facebook is run by "morally bankrupt pathological liars who enable genocide (Myanmar), facilitate foreign undermining of democratic institutions" Well yeah, sure, but "which Harry Potter animal are you?" quizzes
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
High School band director arrested for being too interested in a student's flute
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
$21,000 in Victoria's Secret merchandise stolen so be on the lookout for a box of bras
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
It's 'Find a convicted felon asleep on your front porch with a loaded sawed-off shotgun' season in Florida
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The latest sensation on Instagram? Crime scene cleanup crews (graphic photos)
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 07, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good guy with a gun stops a dangerous little girl from turning 11
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Florida fugitive arrested on rooftop by U.S. Marshals. She said she was innocent, but they said, "I don't care"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 06, 2019
(Metro)
 
 
 
Stop... hammer time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Where in the world is Rod Rosenstein?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Claims against Bill Cosby for sexual assault settled to the plaintiffs' satisfaction in Massachusetts. Cosby's suit against the women for defaming him by saying he sexually assaulted them continues. Wait what?
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tourists 'threatened with death penalty' for taking selfies on beach in Thailand. Yes, Phuket
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 05, 2019
(AP News)
 
 
 
The NYPD has all sorts of high-tech crime-fighting gadgets, but their most effective secret weapon is called a rope
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cincinnati Bengals Mark Walton arrested three times in three months. The good news being in the offseason he's already in midseason form
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sugar Daddy website owner charged with debauchery for offering a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' experience to college coeds
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
You and your white friends were painting anti-semitic and racist graffiti? Is 9-18 weekends in jail lenient enough?
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(The Root)
 
 
 
You and your white friends were painting anti-semitic and racist graffiti? Is 9-18 weekends in jail lenient enough?
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Michigan State University reminds students that they'll arrest you just for being near someone elses crime
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(BBC)
 
 
 
Incensed at the very idea that Americans could commit these so-called 'War Crimes', Secretary of State bans the ICC prosecutor from the country
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(Fresno Bee)
 
 
 
Is that a chainsaw in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
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Thu April 04, 2019
(ABC News)
 
 
 
James Burke would be proud
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
James Burke would be proud
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Disney interested in "Alien" and "Planet of the Apes" after Fox merger. Subby dusts off his "Alien: Invasion of the Planet of the Apes" script
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(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Your cat is making a funny noise
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(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Police drop the hammer on smiling woman accused of croquet mallet attack
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(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Deputies arrest felon for pointing laser at helicopter while wearing boxer shorts, possession of firearms by felon. Personally, Subby prefers briefs
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Spring thaw 2019 - ICE is moving
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(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Portland police bureau receives 100 applications to fill vacancies. Only three were able to pass the background screening
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(Patch)
 
 
 
Normal: An attorney leaving a courthouse. Weird: The courthouse is under construction. Weirder: He left at 1:30 AM. Fark: Via BASE jump. UltraFark: And he was promptly arrested
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
My Shelby Mustang does 185. I posted on YouTube, now I don't drive
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Wed April 03, 2019
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
Woman behind bars after she stabbed a man in the leg with a "purple, stiletto-style" knife. Then TFA is hijacked by a Les Misérables style of criminal revelations
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(PennLive)
 
 
 
Drunken motorist goes 3 mph short of doubling the speed limit. Difficulty: 107 mph
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(STLToday)
 
 
 
You make one silly comment about the amount of groceries in a fellow shopper's cart, then everything gets all BLAM BLAM on the way home
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(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
A young Rosie O'Donnell and young Kiefer Sutherland it seems will be charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and reckless endangerment after shooting a man in the back
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Elizabeth Warren introduces bill to jail CEOs
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
If you're going to go on a crime spree, you might want to pick a different target than a small, low-populated island
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Faking a home invasion to cover up theft of fundraising money isn't normal, but on Thin Mints it is
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Protip: if you steal a stove, tie it down really good in your truck. Or how about this: don't steal stoves
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Tue April 02, 2019
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Remember that shoot-out between rival biker gangs at a bar in Waco Texas that left nine dead, 20 wounded, and 155 people charged? Exactly NO ONE is going to jail for that as prosecutors have dropped all remaining charges
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Stabbing suspect says he was high on "Pot Gummies" in an attempt to simultaneously cause and cure the munchies
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(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Worst Godfather Sequel EVER
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(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Worst Godfather Sequel EVER
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Old school: pulling the fire alarm to get out of an exam. New school: jamming the school's Wi-Fi to avoid exams
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Sweden, a naked police officer arrests a fugitive in a sauna
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(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Trump was framed by the Obama administration, the FBI, and the Justice Department--and they probably killed JFK too
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
With the help of a computer algorithm, more than 50,000 old pot-related convictions in California will go up in smoke
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Mon April 01, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
Tom Brady hopes he gets to throw more TD passes to Rob Gronkowski...while on the golf course
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(UPI)
 
 
 
"What was I supposed to do? I couldn't find the gift shop"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Michigan pastor, Chris Cox charged with gettin' methy with men. Yep, Chris Cox was not a pseudonym. That was Ben Dover
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(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
"You bagged my groceries wrong. I'm going to kick your ass"
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(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
David Blaine is being investigated by the NYPD for involving two non-consensual assistants in his "hide the salami" illusion
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The State Department first heard about the movement of huge amounts of money from Russia to the Bank of New York in March, officials said. Authorities in another country suggested that Russian organized crime might be involved"
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(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
One pill made her larger. One pill made her small. One pill made her sit there until up showed The Law
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Of course I use a 45 because they don't make a 46
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Sun March 31, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
The official White House position is now "ethics don't matter"
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
"Why did you rob the bank?" "I decided to try something new"
source: q1043.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
"He jumped out of his car immediately and pulled out a gun and started yelling at him, telling him to get on the ground and telling him he drives like crap"
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(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Twelve year prison sentence sought for Prenda 'copyright troll' lawyer. One observer quoted as saying "Hanging's too good for him. Burning's too good for him. He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive"
source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Guess which city's high schools commit the most violent crimes. If they offered a decent pizza this wouldn't be happening
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
The CCTV cameras that blanket London aren't really doing a damn thing to prevent crime. Even if you took 27 8x10 glossies of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner, the southwest corner, and that's not to mention the aerial photography
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Sat March 30, 2019
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Lori Loughlin is very stressed about upcoming court date. Feels lost out there and all alone, waiting for a light to carry her home
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nothing in this guy's brain said to him "hmmm, once I have the bank safe chained to the front loader, how will I stealthily get away unnoticed?"
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(TVLine)
 
 
 
Sheesh...just how sex crimes ARE there in New York City?
source: tvline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 29, 2019
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The Chicago mayor and the FBI are both leaning hard on Kim Foxx to explain why she dropped all charges against Jussie Smollett. Foxx explains that they're just not smart enough to understand the intricacies of the legal system. That'll work
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Couple furious after finding camera hidden in their 'cozy and romantic' Airbnb stay, having apparently missed the benefits of making $4.95 a minute per viewer
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(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
'Man shoots computer during sex shop robbery'. Because it had it coming? Thanks for the applause I'll be here all week, try the fish
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
100% of Americans who support Trump say the Mueller report exonerates him of any crimes
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
News: Gorsuch and "I like beer" on different sides of an issue. Fark: Whether to allow a Buddhist spiritual advisor at a condemned man's final moments
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Thu March 28, 2019