Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Some Phanatic)		Wife of new Diamondbacks pitcher Kris Benson once said, "if you ever cheat, I'll sleep with the whole team." Benson immediately invited out for team building exercises at local strip club  (phoenix.fanster.com)	(24)
		Tragedy today, as schoolteacher-eating wolves were killed by Alaskans. They were delicious  (msnbc.msn.com)	(145)

Ever have a teacher who kept chewing your ear off? Probably not like this  (aolnews.com)

(43)

(Some Guy)

For 50 years we've been trying to help ET phone home. Researchers now considering leaving a voicemail  (failuremag.com)

(16)

Formula one discussion. First race of the year, live from Bahrain. Will Schumacher show everyone how it is done?  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(61)

(Some Guy)		At what point did this teacher think writing "Loser" on a sixth-grader's writing assignment was a good idea?  (abclocal.go.com)	(177)
		After seeing Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart portray them in Runaways, Joan Jett and Cherie Currie are planning a Runaways reunion, to show the kids how the real pros do it  (contactmusic.com)	(30)
		David Fincher once again shops "Heavy Metal," let it go man  (cinematical.com)	(29)
		Corporations are now filing libel suits against researchers who publish works critical of their products in scientific journals  (business.timesonline.co.uk)	(58)

(Sum Guy)		Math Teacher sentenced to [-C+π²+πlog(9/4),(-2+2e+8e²)/e] months ∈ (the prison population) for corruption of individual x where age(x) is less than 17  (buckslocalnews.com)	(70)
		"A massive 'current of fire' on the sun has started running at high speed, surprising researchers." EVERYBODY PANIC  (science.nasa.gov)	(45)
		RE: Female teachers doing their students - "They may be having a transitional crisis in their lives and welcome the admiration of a student who essentially puts them on a pedestal" (and then drills them mercilessly)  (cnn.com)	(110)
		Glenn Beck tells viewers to boycott "churches that preach economic and social justice." Conservative evangelical preacher advises people boycott the Crying One, and challenges Beck to a debate  (cnn.com)	(376)
		Since Ari Fleischer is helping out Tiger Woods get his tarnished image cleaned up again, let's take a look at some of the other Bush Administration flacks and what they're up to now  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(31)
		Tragedy today, as school teacher Candice Berner was eaten by wolves. She was delicious  (msnbc.msn.com)	(159)
		Jamie Moyer steps out of his house and onto his lawn, and, after shooing all of the kids off of it, says that today's pitchers are babied  (content.usatoday.com)	(39)

		Tiger Woods to make return at the Arnold Palmer Invitational in two weeks, and has hired ex-Bush aide Ari Fleischer for image control  (nypost.com)	(87)
		"Joe Mauer, starting catcher for the New York Yankees"? It is more likely than you think, and here is why  (startribune.com)	(60)

		Cool: Teacher gives classroom full of students a lesson in structural integrity. Not so cool: she was driving her jeep at the time  (freep.com)	(28)
		Today's female teacher arrested for having sex with student brought to you by sunny Burbank, California (w/you know you'd hit that pic)  (nbclosangeles.com)	(111)

		Cherish that marlin, for it may be your last: Obama administration is no fan of recreational sport fishing or the clearly unenlightened brutes who engage in it  (sports.espn.go.com)	(69)
(PopMatters)		The Police certainly didn't cause Thatcherism or Reaganomics. How could a faux Jamaican accent ever do that?  (popmatters.com)	(14)
		The Cubs find themselves lacking in good, solid pitchers, and for once realize that can't count on Kerry Wood. This is a repeat from the last, oh, 102 years or so. Tag is for their season come September  (suntimes.com)	(85)

		Researchers say a tax on pizza and soda would cut obesity. Still no cure for nicotine addiction  (news.yahoo.com)	(331)
		Researchers transmit power through superconducting lines for 200 meters. All we need is 12 gajillion miles of liquid nitrogen cooled power lines and our grid will be hugely efficient and we'll save electric... wait this isn't adding up  (physorg.com)	(34)

A forgotten gem of the early 90s: Tasmin Archer "Sleeping Satellite"  (youtube.com)

(18)

		27 year old female ballet teacher has appeared in court accused of abducting one of her boy pupils and having sex with him. With 'I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god' pic  (thesun.co.uk)	(127)
		41 year old female teacher sends nude photos of herself via text to a 15 year old boy. With "Yes I would hit that" picture goodness  (cbsnews.com)	(188)

(Candy Boots)		Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. No need to actually make these dishes to slim down, one look at the pictures and you'll lose your appetite for a week  (candyboots.com)	(134)
		Climate scientists go on the offensive: 'God, can't we have a civil dialogue here and discuss the truth without spinning everything.' said reasearcher at Pot Meet Kettle AGW Institute  (foxnews.com)	(298)

		News: Three LA teachers get suspended. Fark: for giving students pictures of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in Black History Month parade  (abcnews.go.com)	(241)
		Teach for America volunteers have been credited by Obama's education secretary as key to huge improvements in post-Katrina New Orleans schools. Naturally, the teachers' union in Detroit is fighting it tooth and nail  (detnews.com)	(63)
		Will the Intertubes continue to deliver porn at exponentially greater speeds, as promised by Moore's glorious law? Researchers hope these 8 technologies will make it happen  (discovermagazine.com)	(25)
		McDonald's signs a deal with Weight Watchers. Grab your towel folks, the end is near  (smh.com.au)	(28)

		Teacher wins right to display God banners in his math class  (signonsandiego.com)	(404)
		Researchers discover crystals that could lead to super security chips and materials that expand the capacity of electronic storage devices by 1,000 to 1 million times. With no trans-fats and one-third the calories of regular chips  (pcworld.com)	(35)
		Researchers develop technology to make touching yourself productive  (physorg.com)	(19)
(Winnipeg Free Press)		Punishment pending in the lapdancing teacher incident. Fark: To the students who recorded it  (winnipegfreepress.com)	(106)

(NBC Sports)

Pitcher predicts his control will improve as a result of his toe exploding in a mess of blood and pus  (hardballtalk.nbcsports.com)

(51)

British teacher kills herself after ex-boyfriend posts naked photos of her on Facebook. With "would have" pic  (news.sky.com)

(328)

Joke letter from principal accidentally sent home to parents by teacher. Parents of stupid and lazy kids want him removed. Tag is for teacher that didn't read the letter before sending it home to parents  (abc15.com)

(278)

Students think their "lap dance teachers" didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be punished, and that in return for this support, they shouldn't ever get homework again  (cnews.canoe.ca)

(69)

(Some Guy)		Superintendent of lowest performing school to teachers: "Help us help the kids by spending a little extra time with them". Teacher union:" Pay us $90/hr". Supt.: "You're fired. All 75 of you"  (projo.com)	(830)
		Awkward headline of the day: "Teacher given good behaviour for underage sex"  (abc.net.au)	(42)

(Some PTA)		Teacher arrested for DUI...on her way TO school  (dumbassdaily.com)	(69)
		Sandy Koufax dashes Mets fans hopes by announcing he was only at spring training to give the pitchers advice, not compete for the number 4 spot in the rotation    (nydailynews.com)	(26)

Male teacher arrested for having sex with 15-year-old female student. Since the gender roles are reversed this time, everyone act outraged  (seattlepi.com)

(203)

		Two pigs stolen from a pub are being held for ransom. Police say they will not negotiate with bacon thieves, have a crack squad of butchers, eggs and toast, on standby  (thesun.co.uk)	(28)
		Researchers in Kansas find fossil of giant fish, cite help from bumbling prospector  (cbsnews.com)	(41)
		Researchers say the internet makes you smarter. Hai gaiz I can has SMRT +1 LOL ROFLMAO  (canada.com)	(34)
(Some Unknown Rockers)		Manic Street Preachers attack Radiohead during a small show in Glasgow. Radiohead would respond, but they're too busy making music and playing shows that people actually listen to    (nme.com)	(30)

		Millionaire New Age douchebag who killed three people in a sweat lodge says he can't make bond, but would be willing to put up his collection of priceless crystals and dream catchers  (hosted.ap.org)	(68)
		According to her defense attorney, that Alabama teacher who went crazy nuts and shot up some people...is likely insane. And if you can't trust her defense attorney, then the only ones left to trust are the voices  (news.yahoo.com)	(93)

Looking for a high school teaching job? Rhode Island might be hiring 74 teachers on February 22. Bonus: All at one school  (abcnews.go.com)

(188)

The State Department sends their newest government diplomat to strengthen and broaden ties between the United States and Russia. Ashton Kutcher ??.....*facepalm*  (news.cnet.com)

(53)

		Pitcher injures shoulder while filming promotional commercial for the team. Suprisingly, the team is not the Mets  (sports.espn.go.com)	(12)
		This is the Michael Jackson Thriller Barclays Center [deep breath] Hoyt-Schermenrhorn stop. Transfer for the A, C and G trains  (nypost.com)	(32)
		Sex researchers say that ill-fitting condoms are a problem, recommends new sizing charts: Ouchie, Jumbo, Extra-Large, Large, Normal, and Hummer-owner  (physorg.com)	(103)

And the gold medal for best dressed Olympians goes to the Norwegian men's curling team. Don Cherry approves accordingly  (ctvolympics.ca)

(45)

		Scary: Woman calls 911 because her baby is choking. Hero: 911 dispatcher saves the baby by talking the woman through the situation. Fark: It turns out that the dispatcher was the baby's father  (msnbc.msn.com)	(104)
		After Googling "teabag" Teabaggers were shocked to discover it had another, even more embarrassing meaning. Now hoping to change their name to Donkey Punchers  (huffingtonpost.com)	(120)

Kelly Osbourne in a skintight leather dress. You'd expect something more like "Margaret Thatcher on a cold day", but she actually doesn't look bad  (starpulse.com)

(101)

		President Obama reports that 95,000 jobs, including the long-awaited Unicorn Herder, Leprechaun Catcher, and Fairy Wing Polisher, to start arriving each month  (nytimes.com)	(339)
		60% of Australians have never looked at Internet porn, according to the latest figures from the Institute of Gullible Social Researchers  (news.com.au)	(101)

		Norwegian researcher suggests building houses out of paper. Critics immediately begin to huff and puff  (wired.co.uk)	(31)
(Some Brit)		47-year old teacher facing jail for going topless for teen (with non-topless pic)  (news.ninemsn.com.au)	(118)

		Researchers use DNA analysis to find cure for cancer. Just kidding -- they used it to prove that when you drink tequila, you're drinking worm DNA  (labspaces.net)	(28)
(Some Guy)		Teacher hits student with clipboard. Student allegedly sustained bodily injury, shock, and injury to his nervous system needing X-rays, hospitalization and an ambulance  (ocregister.com)	(198)
(Some Guy)		Researchers say your color preference is closely related to which careers you are best suited. Here's a quick online test to find out whether you should be a CEO or a carney  (careerpath.com)	(314)
		Researchers discover that drug used to straighten "claw hand" can also help straighten penises, even if the first isn't holding on to the second  (abcnews.go.com)	(31)
		Two fourth-grade teachers help students cope with stress from testing by handing out pill bottles filled with little mint candies. Hilarity ensues  (www2.tbo.com)	(139)

		Researchers are pfinally turning their attention to the health benefits of Ginger, Garlic, and St. John's wort. The pfacts are in: herbal pfixes are pfatal  (nytimes.com)	(129)
		New research finds that beer is good for your bones. In a related study, researchers concerned that Farkers are damn near indestructible  (abcnews.go.com)	(62)

Ashton Kutcher: "I think every day should be a day of romance. Then, on Valentine's Day, you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them." I don't think you'll have any trouble with that last part, Ashton  (nowmagazine.co.uk)

(24)

		This week's Hot for Teacher story brought to you by Tennessee, including "like the fist of an angry god, I would" pic  (knoxnews.com)	(161)
(WTSP)		14-year-old boy had to be forced to grope teacher's boobs and butt, have sex with her. Know how I know you're gay?  (wtsp.com)	(94)

Here's the Sports Science episode showing how Drew Brees is more accurate than Olympic archers. Sweet dreams, Colts fans (action starts at 4:05)  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

(67)

Proving everything that Texas fans have ever said about them; a researcher at Texas A&M has found that Viagra is useful for sheep as well    (io9.com)

(23)

The first rule about having a fight club in elementary school is that you don't tell your dad that your 4th grade teacher set it up  (foxnews.com)

(33)

Exposure to luxury can make people more self-interested and less ethical, according to impoverished researchers  (calgaryherald.com)

(43)

Queens teacher, 63, continuing to collect a $100k salary, is not allowed to teach in a classroom, and runs his law firm out of an empty room. UberFark: He also manages $8 million worth of personal real estate  (nypost.com)

(158)

		Remember the Education Secretary saying Katrina was "the best thing that happened to the education system in New Orleans"? Turns out it was the truth, since it blew away the stranglehold of the teacher's union  (pajamasmedia.com)	(174)
		Today's student cruise w/ 'buxom' chemistry teacher makeout brought to you by NYC (w/ "hmm, okay" pic)  (nypost.com)	(190)

English researchers say a comprehensive study proves there's no G-spot. French researchers say of course the Brits can't find it  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

(85)

(Some John)		"I am a free woman of color" declares preacher busted for soliciting a five dollar prostitute  (indexjournal.com)	(154)
(Some Poor Teacher)		High school teacher offers hot girl $100 to disrobe in classroom. When she refuses, he does the only polite thing: he doubles the offer and throws in a free ShamWow  (badjocksnews.com)	(405)

(Some Guy)

AI researcher to build...AI researcher  (hplusmagazine.com)

(31)

		Man fails to abide by the old "Never bring a butcher knife-pool cue axe on your bicycle to a gunfight" adage  (news.yahoo.com)	(53)
		Girls learn to suck at math from teachers who suck at math  (abcnews.go.com)	(120)

(Some Canuck)		The only hot Phys Ed/French teacher in all of Canada has affair with 15-year old boy (with "she's 40?" pic)  (badjocksnews.com)	(262)
		High school attempts to reenact College Humor's blindfolded half court shot prank at pep rally; teacher actually makes the shot  (bareknucks.com)	(61)

		When reality imitates porn: United States and Britain are on the lookout for female bombers. Let the backroom searchers begin  (smh.com.au)	(60)
		Researchers discover high amounts of lead in handbags made fom PVC. Which just happens to be the same material used to create water pipes in newer homes  (abcnews.go.com)	(124)

(Some Realist)

Teacher suspended 30 days because of Facebook photo that shows her at a bridal shower that had a male stripper. Fark: Someone else posted the photo. Moral: Teachers aren't allowed to have lives outside of school  (post-gazette.com)

(352)

		Canine researcher ranks 110 dog breeds on the basis of the animals' intelligence. Your bulldog wants to go to Arizona State  (blogs.chron.com)	(413)
		Tea Party leader arrested for raping a 7-year-old girl. Search of his house finds M-203 grenade launcher and, uh ... Wolverines?  (crooksandliars.com)	(696)
		Health researchers have some bad news... are you sitting down? Well, that's the bad news  (news.yahoo.com)	(42)

(Some Guy)		Watch Death Cab for Cutie pay tribute to John Hughes by butchering "Don't You (Forget About Me)" in front of a room full of movie stars  (slicingupeyeballs.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		Teacher jailed for providing tequila to students. With "It would take a whole lotta tequila" pic  (coloradoan.com)	(90)
(Some Guy)		First, you get to have sex with your smokin' hot teacher, then you want to get paid for it  (wbbm780.com)	(144)

		Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig may be waddling into court over misleading ads  (msnbc.msn.com)	(62)
		Researchers say bacteria have complex decision-making abilities. Right. They say that about Congress, too    (upi.com)	(27)

(Some Guy)		The Maths Teacher (NSFW language)  (clipjunkie.com)	(32)
		Kid expelled for shotgun in truck off-campus was suspended before for using n-word in class+calling teacher a "stupid Mexican". Also flunked English, math, and history, but got an A in shop. Way to break that redneck stereotype, kid  (sacbee.com)	(651)
		Mets' owners lost $8M in Madoff scheme, or the cost of placing 3 pitchers on the DL and hiring a new manager  (nypost.com)	(16)

		Retired teacher with 2-year old given second IVF treatment. "I'm still so full of life and healthy at 60 I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be treated"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(83)
(Some Nanny State)		Manitoba government tells teachers they can no longer penalize students for turning work in late. Good thing there are no such things as deadlines in the real world  (leaderpost.com)	(116)

(Some Guy)		Free to a good home: one eight-foot grizzly with compulsive self-pleasure habit, one automated pimp, and one sharp-tongued miniature Pinscher  (thrfeed.com)	(93)
(Korea Times)		South Korean math teacher becomes legendary for profanely berating at-risk students, whacking them with shovels, and eliciting high grades. "If it were in the U.S., he would be probably in jail for doing so. But yeah, it's Korea"  (koreatimes.co.kr)	(63)
		Today's teacher Breeds with a student brought to you by Pasadena, Maryland. With "meh" inducing pic  (baltimoresun.com)	(77)

		Disgruntled UFO researcher ridicules sheeple for wanting "solid proof" of UFOs. Bonus whine about Farkers' "fierce" reference to "tin foil hats, probes, etc."  (newsblaze.com)	(194)
		Floor collapses at Swedish Weight Watchers clinic. Oh IRONIC tag, you were born for this  (thelocal.se)	(163)
(Some Guy)		University researcher studies cat people versus dog people. Still no cure for science  (kvue.com)	(65)

(KETV)		Teacher from North High accused of using his South Pole during Western Civ. She must have been from back East  (ketv.com)	(59)
		When trying to pick up girls, make sure their kindergarten teacher isn't watching you  (cbc.ca)	(74)

Best news you'll get on a Monday: Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger back on market after splitting from F1 driver Lewis Hamilton. Subby would pit it, fuel it from his nozzle in under ten seconds  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(43)

Instead of silver bullets, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service issue rubber bullets to a rancher dealing with wolves on his land  (denverpost.com)

(258)

Boy is let off with a warning after stabbing a teacher in the chest with a pencil. Teachers union insists that there be stricter punishment, No. 2 ways about it    (express.co.uk)

(135)

		Following several years studying E*Trade commercials, researchers find new ways to teach children language at a younger age  (abcnews.go.com)	(26)
		School district thinks 24-year-old teacher's aide should resign because she has lost her credibility now that students have seen her naked....wait, what?  (abclocal.go.com)	(231)

Nanotech researchers complete violin study  (abcnews.go.com)

(59)

(Lowell Sun)

Legal puzzler of the day: If state law requires teachers to be fluent in English and tape recordings prove a teacher can't speak English, how much money should the teacher win in her lawsuit?  (lowellsun.com)

(175)

		Studies show women's feet are getting bigger; researchers cannot point to a sole reason  (telegraph.co.uk)	(144)
		Researchers state that the recent surge in gun sales has no correlation to the drop in crime. Researchers then go on to prove that black is white and gets themselves killed at the next zebra crossing  (csmonitor.com)	(418)

		Researchers discover plane abandoned in Antarctica back in 1912. Passengers in a state of suspended animation while flight crew awaits delivery of lemon-soaked paper napkins    (msnbc.msn.com)	(116)
(Some Guy)		Reseachers discover that wearing jeans instead of shorts offers some protection from rattlesnake bites. Next up: What cools liquid faster, ice cubes or lava?  (reutershealth.com)	(44)

Oakland A's pitcher Justin Duchscherer battles deprechschion, says prechschure of profechschional baseball overcame him, has nothing to be achschamed of  (sfgate.com)

(12)

"Do you want to spend your life (and have your kids spend their lives) to pay ever-increasing taxes for teacher, cop, and bureaurat retirements at early ages? Especially while you're expected to fully fund your own?"  (reason.com)

(242)

(ktvb.com)		Woman school teacher going to prison for not being hot enough to get away with having sex with a student  (ktvb.com)	(200)
		Photoshop this scythe-holding searcher  (online.wsj.com)	(53)
		Inside the Boeing 787 Dreamliner: progressive LED, 65% larger windows, serrated engine nacelles, and motherfarkin' automated snake catcher  (edition.cnn.com)	(97)

Well, at least Ryan Reynolds is going to look good as he's butchering the Green Lantern  (io9.com)

(73)

Swedish researchers conclude there is probably no Santa. Here comes the science  (sciencedaily.com)

(42)

(Missoullian)

If you're intoxicated and driving with a suspended license, don't call 911 to tell dispatchers that you've just been shot and heading to the nearest hospital, especially if you haven't been shot and merely ran out of gas instead  (missoulian.com)

(14)

(Some Jewish Santa)		"I wanna be Santa. My qualifications? I'm Jewish, a teacher, Fulbright scholar, Guggenheim fellow and author of 14 books. I have a beard. For 53 years I have wanted to participate as other than an envious Christmas outsider"  (metrosantacruz.com)	(96)
		Good news: Researchers identify factor that reduces cancer risk. Bad news: It's Alzheimer's. Good news: Researchers identify factor that reduces Alzheimer's risk. Bad news: It's cancer  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(66)

		Los Alamos researchers damage building firing cannon. Adam Savage seen smirking knowingly from a distance  (wired.com)	(17)
		From the Sports Illustrated Vault: "If I can escape injury, I should be a fastball pitcher for maybe another five years." - Nolan Ryan, 1974  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(51)
		Would you belieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve that Cher is selling her Haiwaiian home?  (contactmusic.com)	(15)
		Scientists discover link between the mother's occupation and specific birth defects. Risks higher for custodians, lower for teachers. In the case of your mom, it explains the dimpling in the top of your head  (abcnews.go.com)	(50)
(Autosport)		Michael Schumacher's return to F1 is official. You submitted a better headline but team orders dictated that it pull over for this one  (autosport.com)	(69)

(UB Reporter)		Researcher can detect when radio programmers are playing crappy songs due to payola instead of playing crappy songs because they are corporate hacks with no taste or soul  (buffalo.edu)	(43)
		When Joel Schumacher got to recast Batman for "Batman Forever," his top four choices were Val Kilmer, Daniel Day-Lewis, Ralph Fiennes...and William Baldwin  (cinematical.com)	(70)
(Some Observant Guy)		Celebrities caught staring at first posts. Bonus: Includes a lecherous Spongebob  (manofest.com)	(46)

Photoshop this wave watcher  (denverpost.slideshowpro.com)

(34)

Teacher tapes porn over educational video and accidentally shows it to sixth graders. Parents shocked -- not so much that the kids saw porn but really, who still uses VHS?  (torontosun.com)

(125)

(MinnPost)		Researchers find dark matter at the bottom of a mine shaft  (minnpost.com)	(33)
		Yet another group of researchers claim to have discovered the lost city of Atlantis. This time, it's apparently on a plato somewhere at the bottom of the Caribbean  (dailymail.co.uk)	(165)
(abc15.com)		Teacher takes students choiring, then treats them to lunch at Hooters, which leads to her early retirement. Busted  (abc15.com)	(221)

Researchers have finally found something that's recession-proof: Bacon  (consumerist.com)

(36)

Real men of genius. Today we celebrate you, Mr "Why the hell shouldn't I mount a rocket launcher on my motorbike?" guy  (techeblog.com)

(344)

(Some Guy)		Teacher cuts off a student's braid after she wouldn't stop playing with it in class. "I wasn't playing with it that loud."  (wisn.com)	(427)
		Over 65 researchers and medical students confirm that removing a Band-Aid quickly is less painful than removing one slowly. Still no cure for cancer  (abc.net.au)	(59)

		Side jobs that doctors have: 1) Public Speakers; 2) Authors; 3) Researchers; 4) Punk Rockers. Huh, ...WTF?  (detnews.com)	(113)
		Nevada brothel aims to offer first male prostitutes; Ashton Kutcher unavailable for comment  (hosted.ap.org)	(136)
		Detroit parents want teachers, school officials jailed over low student test scores  (detnews.com)	(442)
		Being a teacher is a thankless, difficult job. But being a teacher who teaches college students that want to be teachers is even worse  (press-citizen.com)	(143)
		Expert on brain damage says hockey commentator Don Cherry acts like he has it  (cbc.ca)	(42)
		Democrats override Republican filibuster on spending bill that also kills a school voucher program, overturns bans on needle exchange and abortion funding, promotes medical marijuana. It's good to be in charge  (nytimes.com)	(225)

(Some Guy)		Not to be out done by her colleages, Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro, a third teachers ups the ante by sleeping with a student. (w/ hell yes you would pic)  (truecrimereport.com)	(106)
		Researchers discover how to repair adult nerve cells. Parents of two year olds the world over rejoice  (science.slashdot.org)	(38)

(Some Guy)

Researchers to use microwave in order to thaw 1,090 lbs and 33 ft long colossal squid. Cheaper than using a tanker truck load of olive oil and giant sauté pan  (scienceblogs.com)

(32)

		French researchers immediately surrender to newly discovered giant virus that lives inside amoebae which contains genetic material from several other species  (physorg.com)	(51)
		Two hot teachers didn't get the memo about having sex with students, are suspended from their jobs for sex... with each other. (Pics)  (nydailynews.com)	(532)

(indychannel)

Upset over a teacher's disciplinary tactics with your child? That's a stapler to the head  (theindychannel.com)

(53)

(Augusta Chronicle)

Teacher did not inappropriately touch students. In other news, students will lie about lots of things  (chronicle.augusta.com)

(126)

(Some Guy)		MIT and Harvard researchers make a 16 GPU super-computer so they can finally play Crysis; also happens to mimic human vision recognition  (web.mit.edu)	(48)
(My Fox 8)		English teacher will need all her fingers to count the felony sex charges she just got slapped with. (With "eh...maybe" pic)  (myfox8.com)	(88)
		Overweight, 57-year-old teacher strips during class: "I was trying to be cool"  (dailymail.co.uk)	(47)

(Some Fly on a Wall)

Hot swim teacher accused of teaching muff diving (with pics)  (badbadteacher.com)

(224)

Oregon parents kick off the Christmas season by heading into the mountains to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select the most important symbol of Christmas - the perfect tree. Searchers hope to find them sometime today  (usatoday.com)

(168)

Sardine juice, condoms, lubricant, rival teachers, and a seventh grader. Yes, there's a mugshot  (tennessean.com)

(93)

		Wasn't "Julie and Julia" just an awesome love story? Now the author has a follow-up: She cheated on her loyal husband by having an S&M affair and then became a butcher  (online.wsj.com)	(47)
		Music teacher in court for teaching proper fingering technique  (news.com.au)	(64)
		Protip: If your team gives up a goal, stretchering out your goalie is generally not the best reaction to have afterward  (youtube.com)	(60)

(Some Guy)

Researchers discover that public sector employees find it easier to decide to have a baby than private sector workers because ... oh, I dunno, they have no real work to do and no one will notice they're gone maybe?  (eurekalert.org)

(73)

Creationist pressure group says that now it has been "proven" that climate researchers are all frauds it means that evolutionists are too. And that we need to have the scientists "Expelled." Obvious trumps Ironic  (sensuouscurmudgeon.wordpress.com)

(331)

Purse-snatcher tries to rob "Geek Love" author Katherine Dunn, learns the hard way that authors can also be trained street boxers  (oregonlive.com)

(86)

(WGME.com)

Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules, 'cause everybody knows that praying is allowed in school  (wgme.com)

(94)

		54 years after somebody stole a radio from a college's teacher's lounge, the thief anonymously sends the school an apology letter and $500  (desmoinesregister.com)	(41)
(Tameside Advertiser)		Religious education teacher jailed for teaching teenage boy to scream "Oh God!"  (tamesideadvertiser.co.uk)	(48)

Suing Activision over World of Warcraft? Don't forget to subpoena Depeche Mode and Winona Rider, since she can "explain the significance of alienation in Catcher in the Rye." Makes sense  (kotaku.com)

(274)

(Some Guy)		School district initiates hiring freeze.* (*Except for teachers, principals, assistant principals, cafeteria managers, school police officers, bus drivers, teachers' assistants, education aides and special education assistants)  (dailynews.com)	(55)
		For sale: Charming 3bd 2 bath rancher, with contemporary kitchen, walk-in closets and basement full of hundreds of human remains from disturbed Indian graveyard. Vengeful spirits convey with property  (news.yahoo.com)	(148)
		BCS hires former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer, figuring he's got lots of experience putting a positive face on stupid, unpopular schemes designed by idiots with bad ideas  (politico.com)	(62)

		Brewers free-agent pitcher Ben Sheets being sought by Mets, who were excited to learn from his agent that he didn't surrender a single run in '09  (nypost.com)	(14)
		Twins Catcher Joe Mauer wins MVP. Would have won it unanimously if not for one douchebag voting for... Miguel Cabrera?  (sports.espn.go.com)	(74)

(Marietta Daily Journal)

Georgia's Supreme Court made it legal for 16-year-olds to fark their teachers last year, but wouldn't you know it, some party-poopers are trying to change that. Why won't they think of the children?  (mdjonline.com)

(60)

		Sharp-eyed researcher finds laundry instructions on Shroud of Turin  (startribune.com)	(248)
		Music teacher jailed for playing skin flute. You submitted this with A minor joke    (news.com.au)	(113)

Twilight co-stars Dakota Fanning (inappropriate giggity) and Kristen Stewart (giggity) make out in their next movie (giggity) in which they play Joan Jett and Cherie Curie (giggity giggity goo)  (okmagazine.com)

(96)

(Some Guy)		Researchers create entangled photons from quantum dots. Or so they claim, - it's not like they can whip these things out at a news conference and show people  (eurekalert.org)	(41)
		Union blocks bonus pay for good teachers, doesn't want bad teachers to feel inferior  (bostonherald.com)	(253)
		Julianne Hough will not return for next season of Dancing With the Stars, submitter's telephone calls  (cnn.com)	(40)