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Headlines matching 'Cher'
Thu February 09, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Hero Researchers develop way to scan liquids that may allow travelers to carry on enough vodka to relieve the stress of the TSA screening, Southwest boarding process  (physicsworld.com) (48)
(Think Progress) Dumbass Rick Santorum's most treacherous foe -- a live microphone  (thinkprogress.org) (142)
(Politico) Stupid Like a typical politician, Obama wants to be reelected, raise money AND make clear policy distinctions with his opposition. How droll, how uncouth, how offensive to sensibilities of our cherished political punditry. Have you no shame sir?  (politico.com) (44)
(CBS Boston) Stupid Former Red Sox pitcher 'Oil Can' Boyd admits to being Oil Caine Boyd, two-thirds of the time  (boston.cbslocal.com) (30)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Bitten and Bound) Cool The cast and crew of Two and a Half Men are recovering from an overdose that occurred yesterday while celebrating Ashton Kutcher's birthday. (pic)  (bittenandbound.com) (19)
(The Sun) Dumbass Today's sexy teacher likes drinking, swearing and 'pulling black man' (w/pic)  (thesun.co.uk) (67)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Fox News) Interesting Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico  (latino.foxnews.com) (112)
(Washington Post) Fail Susan Komen foundation hiring Ari Fleischer to rebuild trust, dispel charges of partisanship. What a bunch of boobs  (washingtonpost.com) (187)
(Bitten and Bound) Amusing So far Doritos is leading the pack as this year's favorite Super Bowl ad. Not find behind are Bud Light, M&M's and Skechers. Is America getting it right? (top 5 clips)  (bittenandbound.com) (145)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Daily Mail) Followup Researcher at Institute of Extracting Theories from Our Rectums posits that epidemic of Tourette's-like symptoms plaguing New York town is caused by people unconsciously mimicking what they see on Facebook and YouTube  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Researchers try to figure out exactly what makes a hit song, forget to factor in payola and the public's horrible taste in music  (chicagotribune.com) (77)


Fri February 03, 2012
(MSNBC) Weird Researchers in Antarctica discover weird lakes that move, crawling like syrup. Antarctic trifecta complete  (msnbc.msn.com) (37)
(WJAR) Fail Today's "teacher has sex with student" takes a shocking turn when hot 22 year old teacher is arrested for supplying alcohol before she gets a chance to bang anyone. (With "you'd drink with her" pic)  (www2.turnto10.com) (100)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Researchers say men become nicer, kinder, more caring when a beautiful woman is nearby. Well, duh  (dailymail.co.uk) (131)
(Dallas News) Sad With two weeks until pitchers and catchers report, Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton already in mid-season drinking shape  (rangersblog.dallasnews.com) (87)


Thu February 02, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting Researchers say scratching feels better on certain parts of your body. Sounds like junk science to me  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com) (12)
(SeattlePI) Dumbass Woman caught after high speed chase through Seattle in stolen cherry picker tells cops it was always on her bucket list  (seattlepi.com) (11)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill: "If you double a teacher's pay scale, you'll attract people who aren't called to teach"  (huffingtonpost.com) (445)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Want a job in 2020? Become a nurse, teacher or fast food worker  (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com) (226)
(WFTV) Florida Teacher suspended for putting hot sauce on crayons to keep the special ed kids from eating them  (wftv.com) (228)
(LA Times) Sad Researcher who spent 18 years seeking a cure for Lou Gehrig's Disease dies. Of Lou Gehrig's Disease. Still no cure for Lou Gehrig's Disease  (latimes.com) (68)
(UPI) Stupid Birdwatchers? They kidnapped birdwatchers? What kind of crazy terrorists think anyone would want to ransom birdwatchers? These are the people that make stamp collectors seem interesting  (upi.com) (29)
(LA Times) Sick Los Angeles classroom teacher arrested after being too dumb to use a digital camera  (latimes.com) (106)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Amusing High school English teacher under investigation for showing former female student how to use his Longfellow in porn video  (theage.com.au) (77)
(The Morning Call) Spiffy Dust off all the usual comments, it's time for today's hot teacher with teen student story. Seriously, can we get a tab for these?  (mcall.com) (178)


Tue January 31, 2012
(CBC) Amusing Award-winning teacher had sex with two students, kissed a third and sexted a fourth. Yeah, I'd say that at least deserves an award for effort, if nothing else  (cbc.ca) (83)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Fark headline recipe: article about female teacher having sex with students (check), vodak (check), Not Sure if Want pic (check)  (dailymail.co.uk) (99)


Mon January 30, 2012
(the daily wilton) Interesting Connecticut teachers will now be evaluated mainly on student performance, which makes you wonder what they were being evaluated on before. No, seriously. What were they evaluated on before?  (thedailywilton.com) (241)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Husband turns in dance teacher wife after he finds out her 15-year-old student is tapping that  (dailymail.co.uk) (185)
(IOL) Interesting Muslim preacher arrested in Kenya, Secret Service plans rescue mission  (iol.co.za) (33)
(Some Guy) Scary Colorado ranchers are using an aggressive breed of sheepdog that will savage any wolf, coyote, or tourist that gets too close to the flock  (gazette.com) (133)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Special ed teacher, who had sex with one student and performed oral sex on six others, to serve only 60 days. Guess the gender and level of attractiveness (pic)  (dailymail.co.uk) (181)


Sun January 29, 2012
(News.com.au) Obvious Teachers to parents: "We've had enough, it's time to raise your own kids"  (news.com.au) (209)


Sat January 28, 2012
(Huffington Post) Unlikely Fran Drescher says aliens implanted microchip in her to help her find her future husband, berate Spinal Tap for album cover design  (huffingtonpost.com) (49)
(WINK) Florida Legislature considering bill to allow parents to fire teachers if they don't give their little snowflakes an A  (winknews.com) (84)
(UPI) Scary Researchers observe how a new virus evolves and how diseases can quickly gain dangerous mutations. Interesting tag rapidly mutates into Scary tag  (upi.com) (27)


Fri January 27, 2012
(The Sun) Sick Four-year-old girl with cancer has accident at school. Because you're reading this on Fark, you can safely assume that her teacher was a scumbag about it  (thesun.co.uk) (130)
(Starpulse) Dumbass Prici whore. Caught sayof celebrity that has stoped Liveing " See, told ya so" Is Cher dead or not. Kardashian Says yes. Tabloids Looking for credibilitys -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for bullshiat again"  (starpulse.com) (52)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Researchers analyzed DNA remains of 12 thoroughbred stallions born between 1764 and 1930, 330 elite performing modern Thoroughbreds, 40 donkeys and two zebras. And of course Henry the Horse danced the waltz  (myfoxdc.com) (26)
(Reuters) Unlikely Dissent at Davos: Activists demand a place on the agenda, a plate of those BBQ Buffalo Shrimp and a pitcher of Lime Rickeys  (reuters.com) (5)


Thu January 26, 2012
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this corn catcher  (msnbcmedia4.msn.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Interesting Can monkeys beat a hedge fund? Economists last seen throwing poop at the researchers  (wire.kapitall.com) (36)
(Reuters) Weird It's FARK word problem time: If a four-year-old boy pulls nine bags of weed out of his jacket pocket and hands them over to his teacher, how many of those nine bags will make it to the police evidence room?  (reuters.com) (43)
(NYPost) Amusing Today's HS art teacher banging the daylights out of her students after plying them with pot and alcohol brought to you by NYC (w/you'd spank her with your paint brush too pic)  (nypost.com) (40)


Wed January 25, 2012
(Daily Mail) Interesting Todays obligatory "Hot teacher doing it with a student" article. And yes, you would tap that  (dailymail.co.uk) (166)
(Abc.net.au) Cool Researchers discover that flying dinosaurs had black feathers like ravens, believe that they still couldn't hit a 32-yard chip shot  (abc.net.au) (13)


Tue January 24, 2012
(Some Happy Guy) Obvious Leading researcher says magic mushrooms could treat depression, details results of study involving seven pink unicorns, two rainbow colored Andean mountain goats and a really long chat with Jim Morrison's ghost  (tgdaily.com) (124)


Mon January 23, 2012
(BBC) Interesting Birdwatchers flocking to see rare white blackbird before it moves to better neighborhood  (bbc.co.uk) (19)
(Discover) Obvious In today's attempt at exploding a tag, we try reporting the finding that gym teachers tend to have relatively low SAT scores  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (30)


Sat January 21, 2012
(NPR) Obvious Former vegan embraces his new career as a butcher, while still retaining a smug sense of superiority: "I see the 'hipification' of butchery in urban areas like Brooklyn and San Francisco," he says  (npr.org) (116)
(Some Guy) Hero Burt Reynolds talks "Archer," his 'stache, who could play Bandit today, and why he didn't accept the role of James Bond  (gq.com) (78)
(The Sun) Interesting Brutal butcher of Bulgaria bagged in Bermondsey. The Bun is Bare  (thesun.co.uk) (26)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Teacher creates new approach to dealing with student fights: "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."  (dailymail.co.uk) (92)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Early candidate for Ultimate Prankster 2012: Farmer admits to spray painting hawks pinkish-red before releasing them just to trick bird watchers into thinking they've discovered a new species  (heraldsun.com.au) (76)
(The Atlantic) Asinine Buffalo teachers get a firm D for their plastic surgery union benefits  (theatlantic.com) (45)
(Yahoo) Followup Carnival Cruises, the parent company to Costa, will offer the victims of the sunken liner a $500 voucher, $100 onboard credit for a future cruise and a complimentary "How To Make a Towel Animal" booklet  (news.yahoo.com) (43)
(UPI) Interesting Researchers say black doctor community better at unspoken language, frowning on your shenanigans  (upi.com) (55)


Wed January 18, 2012
(TechnologyReview) Interesting Researchers begin application process on a new material that converts heat into electricity. Initial plans are to slather it on Sofia Vergara and light up the lower half of Manhattan  (technologyreview.com) (28)


Tue January 17, 2012
(News.com.au) Amusing Researchers spot smiley face in cancer cell. Neener, neener  (news.com.au) (18)


Mon January 16, 2012
(CNN) Interesting Researchers at the Biz Markie Memorial Center for Science and Discovery decide to take a look at what happens in your brain and throat when you're beatboxing  (cnn.com) (14)


Sat January 14, 2012
(SFGate) Dumbass Art teacher arrested for teaching broad strokes to 16-year-old student. Where were the teachers like this back when... oh, wait  (sfgate.com) (106)
(Daily Mail) Sad Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex  (dailymail.co.uk) (73)
(Some Guy) Interesting The Yankees trade for Mariners' starting pitcher. No, not that one  (mlbtraderumors.com) (63)


Fri January 13, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool Misty Hyman to be inducted into Arizona Sports Hall of Fame; Lucious Pusey, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Mike Hunt, Rusty Kuntz still awaiting induction  (swimmingworldmagazine.com) (26)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy Researchers find Sydney whales unfazed by whale watchers, will continue to wear their Speedos proudly  (physorg.com) (2)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy Mainstream researchers at Cornell have developed a new breed of strawberry with pineapple overtones, possibly saving us from delicious strawberry death  (physorg.com) (12)


Thu January 12, 2012
(WRCB-TV) Unlikely Kutcher wants to return to 'Two and a Half Men', which is coincidentally the number of remaining viewers  (wrcbtv.com) (62)
(Medical News Today) Followup Remember that study that showed red wine was good for you? Yeah, turns out the 'researcher' made it all up. Besides, everyone knows hard liquor is the key to healthy living  (medicalnewstoday.com) (95)
(abc local) Dumbass Female teacher plays "Words With Friends" with student, both agree on the phrase 'hook-up'  (abclocal.go.com) (65)
(BBC) Asinine Nuclear fear has nothing to do with the cold war, Chernobyl, 3 Mile Island or Fukushima. It's James Bond's fault. Your dog wants a dry martini, shaken not stirred  (bbc.co.uk) (71)


Wed January 11, 2012
(cbs local) Fail If you're a NYC teacher trying to get time off by faking a jury duty note, it's probably a good idea to use a calendar and spell checker  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (51)
(Reuters) Interesting Sketchers swaps one tramp for another in their Super Bowl ad  (reuters.com) (5)


Tue January 10, 2012
(Some Guy) Weird Unable to find a teacher to molest him, one student opts for the 57-year-old registrar  (beaumontenterprise.com) (46)


Mon January 09, 2012
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Move over nuclear: Researchers in Japan triple the output of a standard wind turbine  (mnn.com) (69)


Sun January 08, 2012
(UPI) Strange Researchers say avian flu did not kill S. Korean ducks, but have not ruled out quack cocaine  (upi.com) (12)


Sat January 07, 2012
(BBC) Interesting Hey tree huggers, isn't it time to become tree munchers? Bon appetitpineneedles  (bbc.co.uk) (37)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Washington Post) Strange To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live -- at least until your brain injury. Then I'm going to marry this new guy, who's going to live with me, but take you to IHOP sometimes. Okay?  (washingtonpost.com) (90)
(UPI) Obvious Researchers take time out from trying to prove water is wet, fire hot, by discovering people prefer their dates to be attractive  (upi.com) (10)
(MSNBC) Interesting If you had a good teacher, you'll earn more money as an adult. If you had a REALLY GOOD teacher, you might be the subject of an article on FARK about teachers that have sex with their students  (msnbc.msn.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Florida Hot Florida teacher arrested for soliciting sex with minors - just kidding, Kill it with Fire  (news-journalonline.com) (34)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass High school drama teacher charged with giving curtain calls to an underage student. (With "you'd give her a callback after an audition" pic)  (thedenverchannel.com) (108)


Thu January 05, 2012
(io9) Interesting Researchers examine if dogs can really tell when people talk to them. Your dog wants to know how your day was  (io9.com) (82)


Tue January 03, 2012
(Daily Mail) Followup How attention whores are made: 7 year old daughter of "The Human Barbie" who got a boob job voucher last year got one for liposuction in her Christmas stocking  (dailymail.co.uk) (136)


Mon January 02, 2012
(News.com.au) Strange Australian researcher gets test subjects to wear the same pair of jeans for three months straight without washing, a phenomenon we in the U.S. call "college"  (news.com.au) (67)
(YouTube) Video On NYE, while Justin Bieber and Cee Lo were butchering Beatles/Lennon songs on live TV Alice Cooper, Steven Tyler and Weird Al sang "Come Together" at a small restaurant on Maui. Yeah, it rocked  (youtube.com) (98)


Sat December 31, 2011
(SeattlePI) Interesting Although the idea sounds great on paper, in real life if you're a voice teacher you probably shouldn't encourage your female students to strip and touch themselves sexually to help improve their vocal range  (seattlepi.com) (78)


Fri December 30, 2011
(PhysOrg.com) Obvious Researchers deconstruct the physics of writing (capillary surface tension, viscosity, nib speed) with a fountain pen. Meanwhile, everyone under the age of 87 asks, "what the hell is a fountain pen?"  (physorg.com) (46)
(MSNBC) Silly Researchers say Supervolcanoes won't destroy Earth in 2012. Well, I wasn't worried until you put the idea in my head  (msnbc.msn.com) (66)


Thu December 29, 2011
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this protecting puncher   (timethemoment.files.wordpress.com) (19)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Catholic school teacher fired for becoming pregnant through artificial insemination. You know, the last time a woman had a kid with no father present, they made her a saint  (dailymail.co.uk) (76)
(Daily Mail) Cool Researchers, who are clearly funded by the porn industry, create television that you can "reach into"  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)


Wed December 28, 2011
(NFL.com) Spiffy Congrats to rookies A.J Green, Von Miller, and Patrick Peterson for making the pro bowl. Now it's time to discuss the snubs. Subby will start off by mentioning London Fletcher  (nfl.com) (201)
(BBC) Followup Thanks to a switcheroo that would have impressed Indiana Jones and with the help of Jimmy Stewart as a smuggler, we now know the true origin of the mummified Yeti finger  (bbc.co.uk) (61)


Tue December 27, 2011
(My Fox Boston) Cool Subway dispatcher will not be fired for displaying "deck the halls" lyrics in between boring messages on electronic signs on Christmas  (myfoxboston.com) (24)
(Yahoo) Scary Researcher discovers exploit that could allow hackers to take over nearly any mobile phone and force it to make calls or send texts. Yes, your phone too, even if it DOES have a piece of fruit as a logo  (news.yahoo.com) (27)


Mon December 26, 2011
(phillyburbs) Spiffy Phillyburbs notes how the story of an outspoken Pennsylvania teacher was picked up by FARK before the TV and radio networks (1st paragraph)  (phillyburbs.com) (1)
(WCAX) Dumbass Cute 23-year-old music teacher arrested for blowing student's woodwind (w/mugshot)  (wcax.com) (105)
(NYPost) Asinine Underage ex-student: "I have been secretly dating my ex-teacher" Aunt: "He is dating your mother as well" Farkers: Y NO THREESOME  (nypost.com) (46)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Slate) Silly Christmas services have gone from simple nativity scenes to acts that would make Cher weep with envy  (slate.com) (33)
(New Zealand Herald) Unlikely "All about me" attitude fades at age 33, say researchers who have never met any baby boomers  (nzherald.co.nz) (30)
(Major League Baseball) Strange Cubs and Reds to swap left-handed pitchers in the most sinister deal in baseball history  (mlb.mlb.com) (41)


Thu December 22, 2011
(Fox News) Obvious Experts say high prices for low quality are keeping people from buying tickets at box office. Researchers still puzzled how Indianapolis Colts keep playing to a full house  (foxnews.com) (46)


Wed December 21, 2011
(UPI) Obvious Binge drinking is contagious, say researchers familiar with Fark gatherings  (upi.com) (44)
(Yahoo) Interesting Researchers have pinpoint the origin of the rocks used to build Stonehenge to a quarry nearly 100 miles away from the site; think that most of the workmen who delivered the stones didn't even know where they lived anymore  (news.yahoo.com) (28)
(The Local (Germany)) Obvious "Boob job vouchers 'not a good gift idea'"  (thelocal.de) (108)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Foreign Policy) Fail 2011's worst predictions: Qaddafi says rebels will lose, Karl Rove says Palin will run, Conde Naste calls Libya a tourist hot spot, preacher claims the world will end, and...Thomas Edison says taxis will be made of solid gold?  (foreignpolicy.com) (29)
(WLSAM) Amusing Mugshots and descriptions of the top Teacher-Student sex scandals for your amusement. Yes, subby knows it is a slideshow, but it is 36 slides long  (wlsam.com) (97)


Mon December 19, 2011
(Some Angry McTeacher) Florida Best video you'll see all day of a teacher going nuts, throwing all of her food back in the window after not getting the right order at McDonalds. With mug shot goodness  (wtsp.com) (281)


Sat December 17, 2011
(LA Times) Interesting (At least a major) reason Autism rates have shot up? Researchers now poring over decades-old cases are finding that old-time docs simply didn't recognize it, and instead used to essentially give diagnoses of "huh... f*ck if I know"  (latimes.com) (123)
(Live Science) Interesting Researchers find that if a '250 calorie' label doesn't stop you, a '50 minute jog' label just might  (livescience.com) (55)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Poughkeepsie Journal) Asinine Teacher A misses a staff meeting and is questioned on her absence by Teacher B, whereupon Teacher A pulls out a screwdriver and gets all stabby. If the screwdriver is 16cm long, what is the probability of the stabbing happening in Poughkeepsie?   (poughkeepsiejournal.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Stokes stretcher  (shorpy.com) (22)


Wed December 14, 2011
(SeattlePI) Scary If you like drinking Mountain Dew, Squirt, Fanta Orange, Sunkist Pineapple, Gatorade Thirst Quencher, Powerade Strawberry Lemonade or Fresca congratulations: You're drinking flame retardant  (blog.seattlepi.com) (263)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Substitute teacher cries out to God after, during affair with 15-year-old boy  (dailymail.co.uk) (111)


Tue December 13, 2011
(Some Heisenborg) Spiffy Researchers may have created a quantum photonic chip  (tgdaily.com) (47)


Mon December 12, 2011
(Yahoo) Followup Brian Urlacher after the game: "He's a good running back"  (sports.yahoo.com) (204)


Sun December 11, 2011
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Scary Today's story of a teacher having sex with a student comes from... well judging from the mugshot, it must be from the school for the blind  (nbclosangeles.com) (96)


Sat December 10, 2011
(YouTube) Cool In honor of Keith Richard's 24,829th day on the planet, here is the best live video of Gimme Shelter ever captured. FYI-Her name is Lisa Fischer, and yes, she's hot and can sing  (youtube.com) (52)
(Mirror.co.uk) Unlikely Researchers have discovered that alcohol is to blame for unsafe sex and I am shocked. SHOCKED  (mirror.co.uk) (41)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Therepublic.com) Florida Teacher strips and hoses down pre-kindergarten student outside of school for soiling his pants. Some people have a problem with this  (therepublic.com) (106)
(Telegraph) Interesting Researchers discover that rats display empathy, proving that rodents are more human than bankers and Farkers  (telegraph.co.uk) (50)


Thu December 08, 2011
(Washington Post) Dumbass Maryland high school English teacher and Joey Tribbiani look-alike arrested for banging three 15- and 16-year-old girls. WHOA  (washingtonpost.com) (129)
(Some Guy) Florida College baseball coach who sent teenage girl a pic of his bat and balls expected to play catcher for a while  (610wiod.com) (59)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Researchers race to record language of William the Conqueror before it dies out, suspect it was something like, "Hey, you over there, you're conquered"  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man busted with two illegally killed deer in his possession was wearing hat reading "Registered Maine Poacher". Somewhere in Maine, a village is missing their idiot  (wilx.com) (32)
(The Local France) Strange Parents take teachers hostage in school during what must have been the worst parent-teacher-day ever  (thelocal.fr) (24)


Wed December 07, 2011
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Married teacher has sex with student after luring him to her car during football game. "IT'S UP ... AND IT'S GOOD"  (dailymail.co.uk) (129)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Two elementary school teachers caught having sex in stadium bathroom at a Buffalo Bills game. Hey, at least someone scored  (dailymail.co.uk) (57)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Followup Superintendent agrees a sexual harrassment charge was not warranted against the 9 year old boy who said his teacher was either cute, or fine  (blogs.ajc.com) (74)
(NYPost) Obvious You know you paid your starting pitcher too much when you can't even get the Mets to take him off your hands after you offer to pay $8 million of the money he is still owed on his contract  (nypost.com) (30)


Tue December 06, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting In 1963, a high school smart-ass sent copies of his English teacher's questionnaire on symbolism to several literary greats and Ayn Rand. Hilarity and genuine responses ensued  (theparisreview.org) (330)


Sun December 04, 2011
(Some Guy) Asinine Mother says 9-year-old suspended for saying his teacher was cute. 9-year-old agrees that's what happened. There's no other confirmation so maybe it's not quite this simple. Still, don't we all want to believe this is true?  (gastongazette.com) (122)
(NYPost) Sad During a North Pole geography lesson, second-grade teacher informs the students that Santa doesn't exist. Why yes, some parents have a problem with this. "It's outrageous that a teacher would strip a child of their innocence"  (nypost.com) (198)


Sat December 03, 2011
(UPI) Cool Researchers find dye made from a symbiotic organism composed of a fungus with a photosynthetic partner may treat Alzheimer's. Subby is lichen this already  (upi.com) (13)
(UPI) Scary Violent video games alter brain function, claim researchers from the Institute of DON'T TOUCH ME OR I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN  (upi.com) (71)


Fri December 02, 2011
(Some Guy) Fail Science teacher "rewards" class for doing well by performing a chemistry experiment that involves flammable liquid and fire. How could this possibly go wrong?  (minnesota.cbslocal.com) (55)


Wed November 30, 2011
(Daily Mail) Interesting Researchers find ravens are the only species other than apes who can 'point' and share objects like humans - and some members of Congress  (dailymail.co.uk) (81)
(USA Today) Obvious Were you planning that big family vacation to Chernobyl this year? I've got some bad news for you  (travel.usatoday.com) (30)
(Google) Interesting Researchers design robot for brain surgery that's ten times more steady than human hands, is less likely to sneeze when the scalpel is next to the parietal lobe  (google.com) (5)
(ABC) Interesting Scientists identify "morning person" gene. Researchers tentatively call it Couric7AM  (abcnews.go.com) (72)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Daily Mail) Interesting Not News: Student gets lucky at the prom. Way to go man: with his hot teacher  (dailymail.co.uk) (78)
(NYPost) Followup Could be the three rich guys who claimed the $254M Powerball jackpot were fronting for an even richer guy who doesn't feel like being hassled over his new "Let's Hunt #Occupy Hippies For Their Meat" charity  (nypost.com) (79)


Mon November 28, 2011
(BBC) Dumbass Not all hot female teachers hit on their students. This one sexually assaulted an airline steward  (bbc.co.uk) (125)


Fri November 25, 2011
(UPI) PSA Researchers warn shoppers to beware most germ-infested parts of mall, advise against licking the following: food court tables, ATM keypads, bathroom sinks, escalator handrails  (upi.com) (26)
(BBC) Weird Researchers are pretty sure they'll be able to control the race of cyborg insects they're creating  (bbc.co.uk) (19)


Wed November 23, 2011
(CBS News) Scary Researchers find that eating a can of soup a day can increase your BPA levels 1000%. Mmmm, mmmm, not good  (cbsnews.com) (86)


Tue November 22, 2011
(CNNGo) Spiffy Fried chicken & beer, and 39 other dishes Koreans and the Red Sox pitchers can't live without  (cnngo.com) (27)


Mon November 21, 2011
(Bloomberg) Unlikely Sales of existing US homes unexpectedly increase. Ashton Kutcher's punking us, isn't he?  (bloomberg.com) (16)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Some Guy) Strange For richer hot chocolate, toss in a few doughnuts and whiz it up in a blender. This public service message courtesy of the Association of Cardiologists Who Need New Helicopters   (greenbaypressgazette.com) (44)


Sat November 19, 2011
(NPR) Interesting So this 23-year old math teacher hooks up with one of her 16-year students. Guess what happens a few years later. Go on, guess  (npr.org) (74)


Fri November 18, 2011
(DFW Star-Telegram) Asinine Day care teacher pierces child's ears after obtaining permission from: a) the parents, b) the legal guardian, or c) the five-year-old  (star-telegram.com) (46)


Thu November 17, 2011
(LA Times) Dumbass Female teacher accused of operating porn sites on school-issued computer, including MySluttyTeacher.com ... A++  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (285)
(LA Times) Obvious BREAKING NEWS: Ashton Kutcher is divorcing his mom  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (30)
(News24) Sad Teacher rapes 11 pupils. It looks like they should have *puts on sunglasses" put on sunglasses. YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH  (news24.com) (151)
(PCWorld) Sad Cool: researchers have made serious advances in smartphone battery technology that should give us a week between recharges. Sad: It's still 3-5 years away from production  (pcworld.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Florida High school math teacher accused of selling grades to pay for DUI. How irrational  (winknews.com) (47)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Teacher suspended for exposing his class to The Daily Show  (chicagotribune.com) (258)
(Telegraph) PSA Teachers now have the right to search your kids' cell phone for pictures that might be used to embarrass them  (telegraph.co.uk) (39)


Wed November 16, 2011
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting Researchers develop early Alzheimer's detection method via nose exam. Also, scientists can find out if you have Alzheimer's by checking your nose  (thelocal.de) (12)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Why didn't any of my math teachers look like this?  (timesdaily.com) (203)
(Gestetner) Interesting Gov. Chris Christie weighs in on overpaid PE teachers, truck stop scales  (gestetnerupdates.com) (79)
(BBC) Interesting The Large Hadron Collider's 'new physics' experiment could show why the universe is made of matter, rather than anti-matter. Physicists awaiting confirmation from researchers at Wossamotta U  (bbc.co.uk) (51)
(Some Guy) Sick Teacher accused of masturbating in class may have been doing it for the past 10 years. That's decadent  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (144)


Mon November 14, 2011
(UPI) Interesting Researchers find sleep paralysis is more frequent in students -- which is no surprise to anyone who has ever taught a class of teenagers  (upi.com) (70)


Sun November 13, 2011
(MSNBC) Obvious Researchers discover hypnosis is a fundamentally different mental state than normal consciousneALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com) (23)


Fri November 11, 2011
(MSNBC) Followup Kidnapped Major League baseball catcher Wilson Ramos safe at home  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (35)
(The Raw Story) Dumbass On Veteran's Day, non-veteran multimillionaire Mitt Romney suggests vets might like a voucher system for their benefits  (rawstory.com) (160)
(The New York Times) Interesting Researchers in Britain to build 1830s Babbage Analytical Engine to answer the question: Did an eccentric mathematician named Charles Babbage conceive the first programmable computer?  (nytimes.com) (72)
(Daily Express) Cool Scottish researchers announce breakthrough in battle against skin cancer. Brits will finally be allowed out in the sun again, although it will be sad to see them lose the white glow they've refined over the centuries  (express.co.uk) (15)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Business News Daily) Obvious Researchers prove looks matter when it comes to finding a job...stupidity is okay, though  (businessnewsdaily.com) (33)
(Popular Science) Interesting Japanese researchers create pituitary gland from scratch in the lab; promptly bread it and fry it, serve with maguro and ikura in salmon skin handroll  (popsci.com) (33)
(Washington Post) Scary Nationals' catcher, Wilson Ramos, kidnapped by armed gunmen from his home in Venezuela. He probably couldn't hear them coming over the loud BZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   (washingtonpost.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Can Mimi Rogers do what Ashton Kutcher can't?  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (96)


Wed November 09, 2011
(ABC) Sick Two teachers fired from Catholic school for suspected sexual abuse of seventh grade girl. Did I say fired for suspected sexual abuse? Sorry, I meant fired for REPORTING suspected sexual abuse  (abcnews.go.com) (164)
(Science Daily) Obvious Study uncovers physiological nature of disgust in politics. I'm guessing that the researchers turned on Fox News by accident  (sciencedaily.com) (7)
(UPI) Interesting Researchers find old-fashioned leather football helmets were as effective as - sometimes better than - current models  (upi.com) (60)


Tue November 08, 2011
(CNNGo) Scary One night in Bangkok gotta call the Snake Catcher / The bars and temples burst with serpent fleets / You'll find a snake in every flooded cloister / And if you're lucky then it's venom-free / I can feel an viper swimming up to me  (cnngo.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Obvious UFO researchers downgrade Colombian UFO from "contact with extraterrestrial civilizations" to "really cool kite"  (colombiareports.com) (10)
(Was it in a free fall?) Asinine Not news: Man pulled over for speeding. News: Doing 225kph. Fark: in a Jeep Cherokee  (thechronicleherald.ca) (82)


Mon November 07, 2011
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Florida teacher eats her lunch at school. Difficulty: two beers and some plums  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (40)
(Canada.com) Obvious Researchers discover that if you choose to friend them on Facebook, they can see your personal information  (canada.com) (7)
(LA Times) Ironic Don't cheat, kids. Or at least not until you're older. And become a teacher. And have to cheat in order to keep your job so you can continue to be paid to tell kids to not cheat  (latimes.com) (110)


Sun November 06, 2011
(Chicago Sun-Times) Scary Man stabs woman multiple times over Halloween candy. He was *not* a jolly rancher  (suntimes.com) (40)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Today's red hot MLB prospect is a 6'5" pitcher with a 96mph fastball, throwing five consecutive sub-2.00 ERA seasons and comes to you ... from Japan  (nydailynews.com) (35)


Sat November 05, 2011
(Fox News) Asinine Wisconsin teacher reprimanded for giving his students an important lesson in civic duty  (foxnews.com) (147)
(ABC) Interesting Researchers find certain wine improves metabolism in obese men. Doctors say it's really a case of syrah, syrah  (abcnews.go.com) (32)
(Daily Mail) Photoshop Photoshop this pint-sized percher  (i.dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(wpsd) Dumbass Today's cute high school Spanish teacher arrested for sexual contact with student is brought to you by Graves County, Kentucky  (wpsdlocal6.com) (149)


Thu November 03, 2011
(UPI) Interesting Researchers find the wider the range of bacteria babies are exposed to, the less likely they will develop allergies -- suggest diets supplemented with dirt  (upi.com) (91)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Labspaces.net) Scary Researchers find that the fetus-frightening room frightens the fetus  (labspaces.net) (23)
(BBC) Asinine Teachers' advice to end bullying problem: "Act less gay"  (bbc.co.uk) (465)
(ESPN) Strange Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. That's one way to get out of the basement  (espn.go.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Obvious Were you not molested by a teacher when you were in school and feel bad about it now? Well, there's always Hope  (www2.scnow.com) (41)


Mon October 31, 2011
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Burt Reynolds to giggle wildly as himself on "Archer"  (insidetv.ew.com) (87)
(Daily Mail) Sick Teacher arrested for forgetting to tell his tween students that he was teaching them what happens when a hidden camera is under a desk and you're wearing a skirt  (dailymail.co.uk) (83)
(Smack Research Team) Interesting Researchers identify protein in nerve cells that triggers painful withdrawal symptoms. In a related story, opium den stocks are up in early trading  (asianscientist.com) (11)


Sun October 30, 2011
(I Heart Chaos) Cool I don't know how mortals carve pumpkins, but this is how a high school science teacher does it  (iheartchaos.com) (75)


Sat October 29, 2011
(Discover) Silly What do you do for a living? Researcher. What do you research? Bug genitalia   (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (32)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Albany Times Union) Asinine NY teachers' union members: Be lucky you have a job, STFU/GBTW. NY teachers' union bosses: 18% raise for you, 23% for you, 12% for you, 54% for you  (timesunion.com) (53)
(UPI) Dumbass Gym teacher fakes bomb threat to get out of work, has to do 500 push-ups  (upi.com) (24)


Tue October 25, 2011
(Yahoo) Obvious Hopefully you already knew this, but researchers say that licking the pump handle at your local Gas-n-Go might not be a very smart idea  (news.yahoo.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Florida Teacher could face thousands of dollars in fines for helping students register to vote. Wait, what?  (thepoliticalcarnival.net) (126)
(Some Guy) Followup Red sky at night, northern lights watchers' delight  (duluthnewstribune.com) (12)
(Daily Mail) Fail Today's 34-year old teacher banging a 17-year old student brought to you by Memphis, Tennessee. Farkier: Principal at same school was involved with male student earlier this year  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Live Science) Interesting Researchers find that, uh, psychopath's erm, speech patterns can, um, uh, give them away, uh, subconsciously, and all  (livescience.com) (166)


Sat October 22, 2011
(ESPN) Cool WHO will break the tie between Texas and St. Louis? WILL the Cardinals pitcher grab a victory or a "Lohse"? HOW many fans will fall out of the stadium tonight? THIS is YOUR 2011 World Series: Game 3 Discussion Thread. (7:05 CST on FOX)  (espn.go.com) (950)
(Fox News) Unlikely In case you didn't already have a reason to hate Ashton Kutcher, there's a chance he may the father of January Jones' baby  (foxnews.com) (42)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Science Daily) Weird Researchers turn viruses into "molecular Legos." Believe me, you don't want to step barefoot on those, either  (sciencedaily.com) (16)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Leftist Apple fanboys' heads asplode as Steve Jobs is revealed as having advised Obama he was headed for a one-term presidency unless he stopped shiatting on business and busted the teachers' unions  (huffingtonpost.com) (277)


Thu October 20, 2011
(FilmDrunk) Scary The search for the most unbalanced Ashton Kutcher fan has ended  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (25)
(Celebitchy) Obvious Ashton Kutcher despised by Demi Moore's daughters, Bruce Willis, everyone in general  (celebitchy.com) (56)
(National Review) Obvious People who cherish the American value of liberty over the left-wing value of socioeconomic equality, and those who adhere to Judeo-Christian values, do not regard the existence of economic classes as morally problematic  (nationalreview.com) (152)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting Tonight on PBS, how the radioactive exclusion zone around Chernobyl has become a de-facto wildlife preserve  (pbs.org) (51)
(Guardian) Weird Researcher: It's impossible to tell whether or not some people's brains are hard-wired for social networking. Also admits Darwin would likely unfriend him over this crap if he were alive  (guardian.co.uk) (9)
(Daily Mail) Scary Ashton Kutcher wants Demi Moore to disappear. She dutifully complies  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)


Tue October 18, 2011
(News.com.au) Hero Researchers have an answer to the water crisis: BEER  (news.com.au) (20)
(UPI) Interesting Brigham Young researchers find link between media profanity and teen violence, wag fingers sternly  (upi.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Scary First grade class is having issues with too much kicking, scratching, punching and choking. And that's just from the teacher  (wusa9.com) (15)
(Lohud.com) Sad New York moves to change test-grading rules to prevent rampant cheating...by the teachers  (lohud.com) (21)
(Stuff.co.nz) Dumbass Mother tries to get daughter into prestigious school by: A) teacher recommendations B) video resume C) spreading sex disease lies about rival applicant  (stuff.co.nz) (31)


Mon October 17, 2011
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Parents, teachers upset with students' attire. This is not a repeat of every year since before you were born  (sun-sentinel.com) (118)
(PhysOrg.com) Amusing New study by a spunky team of researchers offers insight into the storage of animal sperm. Brought to you by Siemens  (physorg.com) (4)
(UPI) Interesting Researcher claims big tail muscle made dinosaur both speedy and bootilicious  (upi.com) (31)


Sun October 16, 2011
(CNSNews) Silly Organizers urge conference attendees not to "engage in the debauchery for which Las Vegas is known." So, other types of debauchery are okay, then?  (cnsnews.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Special ed teacher makes fun of his students and posts picture of himself online wearing student's seizure helmet. This actually pissed off quite a few folks, it would seem (with helmeted pic)  (insaneasylumblog.com) (123)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Yahoo) Cool ALCS two-steps back to Texas for Game 6, Rangers try to end Tigers' tale. Scherzer vs. Holland, 8:05pm ET, Fox  (sports.yahoo.com) (507)


Fri October 14, 2011
(Scientific American) Asinine DEA: Pot is illegal because there isn't enough research. Researchers: We would like to study marijuana. DEA: Go fark yourself, hippies  (scientificamerican.com) (111)
(Huffington Post) Scary Nothing to see here. Just another hot teacher story  (huffingtonpost.com) (120)
(Some Guy) Obvious White Sox catcher says he's drank beer in the clubhouse during games. "Sometimes you're just really struggling and you just say, 'Hey, you know what, I need something to calm me down and let's have a beer'"  (wlky.com) (58)


Wed October 12, 2011
(Some Guy) Dumbass Ashton Kutcher told 22-year-old that he was separated from Demi Moore. In related news, Ashton Kutcher is psychic  (wjrr.com) (60)

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