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375 headlines found matching 'CTU'
Wed August 16, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
New Orleans Saints fire two team doctors who couldn't tell a contusion from a fracture
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Modern genetic sequencing tools give a clearer picture of how corals are related before becoming zombies. IT'S A WALKING DEAD REEFERENCE, CORAL
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Researchers say trauma experienced by your great-great-grandparents might actually be passed on to you
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Wait, people are actually wondering why Bannon won't condemn the Charlottesville terror attack?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Remember how Donald Trump tweeted that he is disbanding his Manufacturing Council? As it turns out, the Manufacturing Council had already voted to disband before Donald put out that tweet
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
"Didn't really hurt:" Wisconsin man drove himself to hospital after nail from nail gun punctured his heart
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Jacksonville Beach police use 3 Tasers, baton, 4 handcuffs to arrest bar customer (Video? Yep)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
The governor of North Carolina has something to say about Confederate monuments in his state. 3 important things, actually
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 15, 2017
(KREM Spokane)
 
 
 
Florida actually does something right, as doctors there are refusing to see unvaccinated kids
source: krem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Fine. Leave my manufacturing council. See if I care. I have many great CEOs who want to take your place
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So it turns out Trump actually put up a fight before aides were able to take him hostage and force him to release a statement on camera denouncing white nationalists
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Home is where the heart is. In Trump's case, home must actually be Moscow
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Man buys Rolls-Royce, decides his apartment's parking structure isn't secure enough, builds custom cage to protect his prized possession. The tag should tell you what happened next
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Intel CEO Brian Krzanich decides on new logo: Intel Outside - becomes third to leaves White House Manufacturing Council over trump's abysmal reaction to Charlottesville debacle
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 14, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge - Song titles of the '60s, '70s & '80s in picture form
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So it turns out you should never use flavored water to iron your clothes...or Coke, yogurt, bleach, aftershave or breast milk. This is an actual list from the article
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 13, 2017
(MSN)
 
 
 
A number of NFL owners are upset at having their star players actually forced to face consequences for their own actions
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: movie title in picture form (no words)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 12, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Perhaps the lesson to be learned from the decline and fall of Sears is this: hedge fund guys don't know how to actually run a business
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Trump might talk tough when it comes to North Korea, but the reality is the US President can't actually do much at all." Empty words ring hollow
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 11, 2017
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Protip: when sending a letter to your employer on fake sheriff's office stationery in an attempt to keep your job while serving your six-month sentence, don't misspell any words, and do pick the name of an actual deputy to forge a signature
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Allegedly, Germany is plotting to make German the official language of the EU instead of English if Brexit actually happens (possible Not safe for work content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 10, 2017
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Teacher of the year sentenced for hosting teen sex parties. No really; he was actually teacher of the year
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Breitbart writer is OUTRAGED at the vicious attack Vanity Fair launched on conservatives by putting a picture of Jennifer Lawrence on the cover with the Statue Of Liberty in the background. Yanno, if you see the Statue of Liberty as an attack on you
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 09, 2017
(MSN)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it's starting to look like people don't actually like living in tiny houses. See if you can guess why
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Germany's chancellor candidate Martin Schulz says Trump's presidency is not as bad as he thought it would be: "It has actually been far worse"
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Bud's Broiler robber ditches bra, takes cash
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Some in Congress worry N. Korea might strike Guam because of the size of the U.S. military there, another fears our military's weight may actually cause the small island to "tip over"
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Gen. Mattis walks back Trump's tweet to North Korea by calling for more talks and diplomacy. Ha ha no he actually warned them "not to invite destruction of its people"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Someone actually asks Tom Skilling if chemtrails are real
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
New York really needs help fixing its crumbling subway infrastructure. Perhaps getting rid of $5 footlongs was a mistake
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 08, 2017
(Macon Telegraph)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Couple conspires to rob adult store then she fingers him as suspect, warrant says". Subby is certain he didn't enjoy it
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Trump bans media coverage of his golf outings because he wants to maintain the fiction that he is on a working vacation. He would have gotten away with it, if people hadn't started leaking videos and pictures of him goofing off
source: shareblue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Bigfoot "scientific" research team spots the creature in Western North Carolina. Apparently, it has not yet occurred to these folks to bring a camera and take a picture
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon August 07, 2017
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
"Self-driving van" spotted in Arlington was actually being driven by a researcher disguised as a car seat
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun August 06, 2017
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
I think someone needs to actually read his Bible, and prepare for a tax audit
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Rod Rosenstein continues to show he actually has a spine by confirming Mueller can investigate ANY crime uncovered as part of the investigation. Someone might need to tell Trump what brought down Capone
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Former police officer admits to viewing pictures of naked women while on duty. "He was doing research." That's what they all say
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat August 05, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ever found stuff in your new home left there by past tenants? Newspapers? Old pictures? Ok. How about snakes?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The headline "'Deteoriating' Alcatraz decoy heads will live on with the help of 3-D scanning" makes sense with pictures
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
The Jets claim a player off waivers. Not only did the announcement contain a picture of the wrong player. It was also a player from a different team
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Chinese regulators planning to crack down further on overseas deals. Or up their cut. It's a "Choose column A or column B" situation, actually
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri August 04, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox News' Jeanine Pirro, who was at one point an actual judge and a prosecutor, warned that, should prosecutors indict a Trump family member on criminal charges, there will be "a real uprising in this country"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Aliens may be deterring nocturnal pollinators. With helpful picture of possible alien spacecraft
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
You can help stop sex trafficking by taking four pictures of your hotel room and uploading them
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fresh off Donny TwoScoops' shiat list, Sessions decides to threaten sanctuary cities
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
First of all, don't sexually abuse kids. Also, don't text people about it about if you do. And if you do text people about it, don't do it in a supersized font. On an airplane. In front of the woman who's taking pictures of your screen as evidence
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Massive Earth-sized spot that just appeared on Neptune is actually an 'alien nuclear strike,' and not a methane cloud as some narrow-minded science pinheads would have you believe (possible Not safe for work content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu August 03, 2017
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NBA bust Darko Milicic is actually a success for these ten reasons, including one where he once went full Mongo on a horse
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man threatens to stick Home Depot employee with needle, surprising police with his ability to find an actual Home Depot employee
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed August 02, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Keebler Elf Jeff Session's job is safe. Sad tag is because he's actually trying to accomplish horrible things
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Older people dying on job at higher rate than all workers." Analysis: No Shiat
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Norwegian anti-immigration group posts picture on their Facebook page of bus full of scary Muslim women wearing veils, but are actually just bus seats. Allah Akbus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Tired of all the factual news leaking out willy-nilly, Trump announces his own Nooz show on Facebook. Hosted by...Pickle's wife, Lara Trump. Hey, if you were married to that X-Files sewer monster, you'd need some time away from home, too
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue August 01, 2017
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Elon Musk warns 400,000 people who pre-ordered cutting edge technology Tesla Model 3 that they have have yet to master early 20th century manufacturing techniques
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman braids her hair. Posts pictures online. Internet explodes
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MM&M)
 
 
 
VR devices can be used to stimulate empathy for the specific suffering of patients. If only insurance companies and doctors actually had any empathy to begin with
source: mmm-online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 31, 2017
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
At 8PM EDT, Paul's Memory Bank will 'tee up' 2 more hours of songs beginning with the letter "T". The end of the swing through the alphabet is almost in sight. The DJ is actually going to have to think of topics soon
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 30, 2017
(Autostraddle)
 
 
 
Did the Right Wing capitulate on the culture war? Nickelodeon has a cartoon with actual gay parents and a lesbian teen and Subby hasn't heard a call to boycott
source: autostraddle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Now we may not be Hollywood executives, but even us "regular folks" can understand that when rebooting a comic book film series, it would make just a tad bit of sense to actually focus on the main character in the reboot
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
U.S. Air Force flies two B-1 bombers over Korea to take some "before" pictures
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
State Department Twitter account hacked by the Russians. Wait, we're getting reports that the State Department actually said these lies
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 29, 2017
(Slate)
 
 
 
With growing horror, he realized he'd somehow "inhaled" a buttful of water. The water gushed out of his rectum a moment later, he felt fine and a Fart Artist was born
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Trump may be able to fire Sessions without actually firing Sessions by pulling a double switch. We wouldn't be having this discussion if the Executive Branch would just adopt the designated hitter already
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This morning's Trump tweet storm: Senate must get rid of the legislative filibuster and Russia was actually working against Trump in the election (tweet right after a Fox & Friends report on it)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 28, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Who, this puppy? Yes, her. Couldn't be. Then w...actually she still has her head in the jar, so it was her
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
First Lady Melania to make solo trip to Canada for Invictus games. Maybe she can bring First Lady Ivanka along if she wants a little competition for the affections of Pretty Boy Justin.. Will be free of need to swat away Tiny Hands
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Consumers, businesses likely made the U.S. economy greater in the second quarter. No word on hat manufacturers, however
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Worker posts interesting pictures of food preparation equipment in his McDonald's restaurant. Interesting enough to get him fired
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In Breaking News Not Worthy of a New Flash via Fox news: Trump may be acting suspiciously because he is actually innocent
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 27, 2017
(CBC)
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau continues to tick off boxes on his bucket list, gets his picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Haaretz)
 
 
 
Larry David finds out that he actually is related to Bernie Sanders
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
$130 million gold in sunken WWII ship. Nazi? Actually it is, that's where ships usually sink
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Unlike "Pickle", here's a verifiable 9 year old who has an actual opinion about Trump
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The manufacturer of the Fire Ball was issued a warning for "structural fatigue" going back as far as 2007 (WARNING: Graphic video)
source: 97x.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 26, 2017
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
"Yes, I said a lot of crazy things. I'm ashamed of them actually. Looking back at them, it's like, wow, obviously I shouldn't drink." It's not a poster in a TFD thread, it's a defendant from the 2015 Bundy standoff in Nevada
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump stump speech includes sadistic rant about carving up young, nubile little girls into tiny pieces. What the actual Fark? Transcript included for your viewing horror
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
If you're a city employee and have been breaking into female coworkers' homes and stealing their underwear, feminine products and toiletries, it's not a good idea to get caught taking pictures up their skirts at work
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
What's the craziest conspiracy theory that someone you personally know actually believes? Difficulty: No lizard men
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 25, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
After voting to go ahead and debate repealing Obamacare, Senate votes "no" on actually doing it
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
John McCain's no-holds-barred lecture to the Senate "Stop listening to the bombastic loudmouths on the radio and television and the Internet. To hell with them. They don't want anything done for the public good. Our incapacity is their livelihood"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Business Journals)
 
 
 
Maryland brewers concerned that the state may be lagging in hop production, which would in turn force them to actually craft a variety of quality beers instead of just thinking up quirky plays on the word "hop" for their labels
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Senate ready to vote on healthcare. They don't know what they're actually voting for, but baby steps. Baby steps
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 24, 2017
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Naked and chasing seagulls is no way to go through...actually, strike that. That doesn't sound like a bad life at all
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Being literate and not having a crazy person as President helps Canadians deal with and actually have health care
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 23, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: If summer camp brochures actually told the truth
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
"A number of so-called scientific journals have accepted a Star Wars-themed spoof paper. The manuscript is an absurd mess of factual errors, plagiarism and movie quotes. I know because I wrote it"
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 22, 2017
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Here is the actual reason gluten-free Communion wafers are unacceptable to the Catholic Church. Never mind the fact there is no such thing as a gluten allergy
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Dear Amazon, when you list something as 30% off the original price, you actually have to have sold it at that original price. We'll be in touch soon. Signed, the Federal Trade Commission
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 21, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You should take pictures of your knob before going on vacation
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photographer viciously mauled while taking pictures. (not safe for stomach)
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 20, 2017
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Stars of Deadpool 2 insist their movie will actually be funny this time
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 19, 2017
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
All I'm saying is, the point of a voodoo doll is kind of lost if you actually stick needles in the person themselves
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Kris Kobach: due to voter fraud, we may never know whether Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. I guess it's reasonable to wonder if we'll ever know whether Donald Trump actually won the Electoral College
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
ICE chief readies national sanctuary city crackdown
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA), the guy that Kevin McCarthy "joked" about being bought by the Kremlin, was actually bought by the Kremlin and was planning a show trial to destroy the Magnitsky Act, using Russian propaganda as evidence
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 17, 2017
(The Hill)
 
 
 
In honor of Dear leader's latest pronouncements, Local DC burger chain Z-Burger will be giving away free "nothing burgers" from 11-2, which is actually a regular burger, with meat and a toasted bun
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The biggest infrastructure problem in the US? Antarctica
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun July 16, 2017
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Cruz amendment to the healthcare bill is actually smart policy. Here's why
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 15, 2017
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Fox News intellectual claims that Hillary Clinton would "literally" sell her only child to win the presidency. Hillary's unsold only child answers her with way more class than a Fox News intellectual will ever deserve
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Supreme Court asked to decide if grandparents are actually relative. Er, I mean relatives
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
JPMorgan CEO, frustrated with governmental paralysis on infrastructure, regulation, taxation, and education legislation, blames Trump ... I'm sorry, I've been corrected ... he's blaming the media, of course
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Rabbinical students on summer visit to Montana dress like Native Americans, speak in fractured Yiddish
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 14, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Woman 1: I'm bored. Woman 2: Me too. Woman 1: You know what would be fun? Blackface. We can post pictures online and challenge followers to do it too. It can't possibly go wrong
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Since it looks like everything is being greened in the Politics tab, here's a picture of the Tangelo Terror's glorious mane trying to evade charges in the ongoing investigation
source: images.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Millennials fleeing Mississippi in droves, citing lack of jobs, endemic racism, the existence of actual civilization in other places
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The most horrifying motion picture in history. Written and directed by Sen. Lindsey Graham
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 13, 2017
(Time)
 
 
 
Truckload of NOPE slimes Oregon highway, with *hork*-inducing pictures
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're telling me Obamacare markets are actually profiting and not on the verge of collapse like the Republicans want us to believe? Really? The hell you say
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 12, 2017
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rep. Steve King (R-Epugnant) says it may not actually work to have Mexico pay for Trump's border wall, so we should make American poors and American sluts who want to have sex without getting pregnant pay for it instead
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Remember when Trump resigned as head of all his companies, to, in his words, avoid any conflicts of interest? No you don't, because he never filed the paperwork to actually do that. "Trump promised the bare minimum and did even less"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How much does Meryl Streep love the Obamas? Well she does own a handbag with their picture on it
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Battle over whether Macaque took the picture is not in question. Macaque is very good at selfies. Especially dick pics
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Don, Jr. deserves "credit" for releasing emails, claims actual US congressman
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Move over grammar nazis & make way for the punctuation police
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 11, 2017
(American Thinker)
 
 
 
Single-payer health care would spell doom to alternative medicines like chiropractors, acupuncturists, cuppers, herbal cancer curing supplements, and prayer - all of which are covered by insurance now but won't be when the government takes control
source: americanthinker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 10, 2017
(Forbes)
 
 
 
NASA's Juno to take the first ever close-up pictures of Jupiter's Great Red Spot
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Glaswegian mother uses social media to track down her son's stolen bike, confronts teenage thief and gives him a life lecture and hug, and finishes by creating greatest swearing Facebook video ever, all while rubbing her son's face in it. Ta da
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Unlike the health care system in the US "a socialized, single-payer health care structure, like that in the U.K., is not driven by research and cure, but profit"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 08, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Online swimsuit vendor ASOS uses un-Photoshopped pictures of its models and the Internet approves
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Facial recognition software in movies is very cool and hard to defeat. In real life, all you have to do is hold up a picture of the person the software is supposed to recognize. Mission pretty darned possible
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Mom takes cute pictures of her baby being held by sane President
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 07, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Newspaper columnist pens scathing story about a recent traffic stop, claiming he was lucky he didn't get shot. Unfortunately for him, dashcam video of the event paints a much different picture
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent Journal Review)
 
 
 
Federal agents grill Kathy Griffin for an hour over her picture of the fake decapitated head of Donald Trump. First time ever she actually kept an audience for 60 minutes
source: ijr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
We're six months into this sideshow and shockingly there are no pictures of Trump hanging on the walls of any Federal building
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Actual headline: New Orleans men ready to bare it all in 'Mr. Legs' contest
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 06, 2017
(DW)
 
 
 
Radical EU court rules that airlines have to actually tell you their pricing up front
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: movie trailers that give everything away. New hotness: nothing in the trailer is actually in the movie. Also, how damn old is the "old and busted / new hotness" meme?
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Protip to all ICE agents: make sure the "undocumented immigrant" you're detaining is not actually a U.S. citizen. Especially since U.S. citizens are the lawsuit-happiest people on earth
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 05, 2017
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Trump is actually doing a terrific job building new alliances around the world. Like the one between Germany and China
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Photo gallery from yesterday's North Korean ICBM test, with a surprising lack of pictures showing Kim Jong-Un pointing at things
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Sorry, CNN, but President Trump didn't actually get his meme directly from Reddit. He actually added audio and resized it first
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
Lawyer who reported Bernie and Jane Sanders to federal authorities concerning bank fraud now admits it was all hearsay, argues that hearsay and conjecture are kinds of evidence
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
RGIII posts picture with his fiance and newborn second child, presumably taken mere seconds before he fell backwards and tore his ACL
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 04, 2017
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Schrödinger's Brexit turns out not to be so great for UK manufacturers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 03, 2017
(White House)
 
 
 
On this 4th of July weekend, help remind Secy. Dr. Ben Carson and Secy. Betsy DeVos that the Constitution actually requires that they help right the ship. (Clearly nobody told them of this during their confirmations)
source: petitions.whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 01, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Richard Clarke, former National Coordinator for Security, Infrastructure Protection and Counter-terrorism, is fearful of the country under Trump; "Russia invaded our country, and he doesn't care"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 30, 2017
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Just another night in MLB - Corey Kluber pitches a gem, Clayton Kershaw gets his 12th win, and for the 13th time this season the Nationals' bullpen can't hold a lead. Oh, and they also lost Trea Turner to a wrist fracture
source: mlb.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Republicans stagger away from Washington in disarray after health care bill collapses. With helpful 'My god, what have I done' picture of Senator Mitch McConnell
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
While everyone was focusing on Trump's tweets on Mika, the House passed the "Bad Hombre Killed Pretty White Girl, So We're Defunding Sanctuary Cities" bills
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 29, 2017
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
Hello, this is FARK.com calling. We've detected that your computer has been showing actual news headlines, and it needs to be repaired immediately before your sense of humor is damaged. Please insert a squirrel in the squirrel holder so we can help
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Spain's population rises for first time in six years on seasonal workers returning for actual available seasonal work
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
German police taken off duty after pictures of sex and booze-fueled party emerge. Huh, maybe we need to update that 'in heaven the police are English' joke
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Accused thief hits 18 unlocked vehicles in Lititz, makes off with (among other things) Tic Tacs, dog treats and wet wipes
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 28, 2017
(Kingsport Times News)
 
 
 
Step 1. Recover dropped diamond ring. Step 2. Stash diamond ring in rectum. Step 3. profit. Unplanned step 4. Arrested. Ring returned to owner
source: timesnews.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember the story about Seattle's minimum wage hurting low-paid workers? Yeah, they're actually doing quite fine, thanks for the concern
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Q: Is a giant catfish big enough to swallow a human? Media fact checkers: We don't know but here's a fake picture of a massive catfish that's all over the internet
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Okay which one of you aliens put something 'artificial' on Mars that NASA's Curiosity Rover just snapped a picture of?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 27, 2017
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Maybe this Florida deputy didn't think having porn on his phone along with racist and sexist images, having an interoffice affair, and taking pictures of his genitals while on duty would be a firing offense
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If you were born between 1977 and 1983, it has been decreed that you ACTUALLY belong to the "Xennial" Generation. That should solve this debate once and for all
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
The good news: US Senate wants to supply states with money they can use to invest in their infrastructure and projects like sport stadiums. The bad news: Technically those are Medicaid funds but isn't a bridge in need of repair kind of "sick" too?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Does anyone actually like quinoa?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rule 1 of Stripper Prison Dance Party is you do not take pictures of Stripper Prison Dance Party. And someone broke Rule 1
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Turns out the Democrats are just as crooked and corrupt as the Republicans when it comes to redistricting games....actually slightly more crooked, but on a smaller scale
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 26, 2017
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Riderless Amish buggy and one VERY tired horse stopped by police in Apple Creek
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 25, 2017
(Vox)
 
 
 
"Gee...such a nice democracy you had here. Too bad you screwed it all up by, you know, actually letting people vote and all that"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat June 24, 2017
(BGR)
 
 
 
Pokemon Go completely revamps their gym system and adds legendary battles in news that would have been awesome last summer when people actually cared about PoGo
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Treating the elderly with respect means Nursing Home Staff not sending pictures of their genitals to others through Snapchat
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 23, 2017
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Eight critically acclaimed movies that actually suck
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
It looks like Russia went well beyond just planting fake news stories and actually altered voter information in the 2016 election
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) surprises everyone by actually taking a stand against the Senate's version of the health care bill. But don't start looking for pigs on the wing just yet
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TVNZ (New Zealand))
 
 
 
World's third Dark Sky Sanctuary announced as New Zealand's Great Barrier Island. Australia's Great Barrier Reef prepares for influx of confused stargazers
source: tvnz.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Potential Knicks draft pick actually likes the Knicks, which is more than can be said for their fans
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 22, 2017
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
You might think a 43-minute lecture from 1979 on how lawyers should do cross-examination would be dull and boring. But you'd be wrong
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
These pictures of Trump playing tennis in tight white shorts will surely be the thing that sinks his presidency
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest metal albums of all time is ... actually pretty damn spot-on. Way to go, guys
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Do you have any fantasy that would be considered odd but are willing to tell us on here? Has it ever actually happened?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(E! Online)
 
 
 
Will Ferrell apologizes to Seth Meyers for being a jerk, But a jerk is a tug, a tug is a boat, a boat floats on water, water is a part of nature and nature is beautiful so that is actually a compliment
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 21, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
You may not take a picture of Prince Jared
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Republican Senatorial candidate Luke Messner wants you to know that his wife's $240K per year part time job that only requires about 26 hours a week of actual work is totes legit and above board and has nothing to do with his political connections
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
To the left, the unlikely tale of a camera found in a Goodwill store that yielded pictures of Mount St. Helens erupting and a family photo that helped reunite the camera with its owners. To the right, what Farkers do with awkward family photos
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
In Mexico, ice cream sandwiches are actual sandwiches
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 20, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: If vacation brochures actually told the truth
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
DeadMouseFive slams DJ Khaled for "disastrous festival set." No word on what those two proper nouns actually signify
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
EPA warned Fiat Chrysler back in 2015 over their use of illegal emissions software. Although any action was delayed until the company made any cars that actually run
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Turns out Trump voters aren't the same as 'Conservatives,' they're not actually conservative but they'll say they're conservative because it sounds cool
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Everyone hold on to your butts, Yertle is actually gonna try and take away your healthcare next week
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Plus-size model poses in bathing suit to 'offend' body-shamers, actually looks great in it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 19, 2017
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
If you're going to use a car in an ad to sell your product, perhaps it would be best to pick a car that would actually have a use for your product
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Energy Secretary Rick Perry claims rising CO2 levels not primarily to blame for climate change: "Actually, the three main factors are ocean water, the environment, and the uh, um, what's the third one there, let's see"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Since the White House Press Corps decided that journalists shouldn't use video or audio recordings during briefings - again - we'll have to make do with pictures of Jim Acosta's stylish socks
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"This has nothing to do with what we actually believe in or propose. Every gun measure is decried as confiscation. Every tax increase is described as oppressive. This simply shuts down dialogue before it can even start"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(APM Marketplace)
 
 
 
Think the government flag manufacturers will rush to figure out the new star pattern if Puerto Rico becomes the 51st state? Relax, the new 51 star flag has been ready since the early 1960s
source: marketplace.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 18, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
President Trump decided to begin today by wishing everyone a Happy Fath-....erm, actually he chose to gloat about his myriad "accomplishments," complain yet again about the "Witch Hunt," and claim that he has higher approval ratings than Obama
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Yeah, about that big Mayweather vs. McGregor fight in Vegas ... did anyone remember to check to see if the arena was actually available for the fight?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat June 17, 2017
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
Yes, it's called pot roast, but you shouldn't use actual pot (with stoner mugshot goodness)
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The manufacturer of the cladding that fueled London's tower fire specifically recommended against using it in high-rise apartments due to fire risk. Someone's going to feel the heat about this
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape Cod Times)
 
 
 
Ferry from Nantucket to Hyannis decides to take a shortcut, forgets there is a jetty in the way. With pictures of what a ferry mounting a jetty might look like
source: capecodtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Apparently, it's come to the point in the decline of our civilization where you actually have to explain to people that using Coca-Cola as a tanning oil is a bad idea
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
What's wrong with this picture?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 16, 2017
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Renowned fly rod maker Tom Morgan dies at age 76. As a true fisherman, the casket was ordered for someone seven feet tall when he was actually 5'9"
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
GOP senators go 0-8 on coherent answers about what Trumpcare is actually supposed to fix. McCain: "ALL THE THINGS." Grassley: " **SMOKEBOMB**" Boozman: "Bill? What bill?" Wicker: "Freedomz" Cruz: "HERP DERP"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cactus plushies
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Katie Couric's role at Yahoo won't be impacted by the Verizon deal. Mostly because no one at either company actually knows what she even does anymore
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Someone actually thought there was a reason to compare Krispy Kreme vs Dunkin' Donuts. I guess you Americans were too afraid to add Tim Hortons, the King Of All Donuts, to the contest
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 15, 2017
(ABC News)
 
 
 
OK Democrats pick new party leader with helpful picture included of what got her elected
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Gingrich yesterday tried to attack special counsel Mueller by calling him "The tip of the deep state Spear", but, actually, you have to admit, just makes Mueller sound that much cooler
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 14, 2017
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Pixar's "Coco" looks promising. That's good. A 21 minute "Frozen" short featuring Olaf will be shown in front of it. That's, actually, where are we on comic relief snowmen voiced by Josh Gad these days?
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
How streakiness in basketball actually disproves the 'hot hand fallacy,' say scientists who only took 30 years to catch the error
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 13, 2017
(Slate)
 
 
 
An exploration of how science fiction has actually helped improve our world and create a better future for...wait, is that a picture of Tom Cruise in Minority Report? Oh, fark right the hell off
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
It's starting to look more and more like Russia affected actual vote totals and that Donnie "Two Scoops" Babyhands may be an illegitimate president. Which, funny enough, is kinda what Putin wanted. Way to go, 'Murica
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Sony Pictures is trying to make the edited for broadcast/in-flight movie versions available to the public at large. When asked for comment, the director's guild said, "No flipping way, you money grubbin' doodyheads"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Did you notice Steph Curry smoking a cigar after the Warriors' victory? There's actually a year-long story behind it
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Word of Ivanka Trump's empowering message of work/life balance for women has reached the women actually making Ivanka's clothes and... Oh my, that's not good
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Three people charged for getting busy on a roof in Lancaster County
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Buyer pays $133,000 for two courtside tickets to Game 5 of NBA Finals, which would actually get you a nice home in Cleveland
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 12, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researchers discover washing your hands actually cleanses your brain of old ideas - as well as removing crusty residue
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Whether you agree or disagree with his policies, at least you knew the man was competent enough to be President and actually cared about the country. Happy 93rd Birthday, 41st
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Pictures of Melania and Barron Trump moving into the White House show they look how most of America feels
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Actually, you may be able to thank Mario Lemieux's lucky blazer for why the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 11, 2017
(Futurism)
 
 
 
DARPA is working on making AI more trustworthy. It's already more ethical and trustworthy than our politicians... well, actually, a rock is more ethical and trustworthy than our politicians
source: futurism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat June 10, 2017
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Well, it was looking like we might have an actual breastamageddon on our hands, but the Ocean City Council managed to pass an emergency ordinance banning topless women from the beach just in the nick of time
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The holy grail of the nerd universe is going on auction soon: Luke's actual lightsaber. WANT
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The CEO of Goldman Sachs issued the first tweet of his life in response to America's withdrawal from the Paris Agreement. Now that he's back from China and Infrastructure Week is over, I think he's beginning to get the hang of it
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 09, 2017
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: When advertising that you are selling a car that once belonged to Dale Earnhardt Jr. make sure the car actually belonged to Earnhardt
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
When did SpaceX make a ground based space laser? See picture, see comments, too hard to explain here
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Apple CEO Tim Cook will address the 2017 graduates at MIT, some of which may actually look up from their screens
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it's starting to look a little like Donald Trump doesn't actually have a plan to make America great again
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
SXSW plans to stay in Texas despite two senators from other states trying to get the festival using the guise of Texas' new "sanctuary cities" ban
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Canada is using genetics to make cows less gassy. Absolutely it's science, but actually a bit of a fartform, too
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
UK voting in pictures, including the Monster Raving Loony Party
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 08, 2017
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Scientists find positive proof that aliens exist. Well, to be more precise, they've come 'closer than ever before' to confirming aliens exist. Actually, it's news from Russia, so all bets are off
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Have you ever considered that if you knew what was actually going on in the mind of that spider you're about to crush, you might not crush it? No? Alrighty then, smash away
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed June 07, 2017
(Salon)
 
 
 
Defeating Hillary might not have ended conservatives' long nightmare; in fact, it has actually just begun, so be afraid, conservatives, so very afraid. So say the NRA and the people who want to sell you survival gear
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Trump claims $380 billion worth of deals were made during his Saudi Arabia trip. The White House can't show how they add up to $380 billion; most of the "deals" are actually "non-binding memoranda of understanding," and the arms deals were approved in 2015
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue June 06, 2017
(WRAL)
 
 
 
"Authorities" seize "Fruity Pebbles marijuana" bar, misplace punctuation guide
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
George and Amal Clooney give birth to twins. Actual quote from their press release: "George is sedated and should recover in a few days"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Scott Pruitt's claims were so false, his pants bursting into flames actually contributed a tenth of a degree increase in global temperature
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
South Carolina court rules it's not against the law to take pictures and videos of women in bikinis if you're in public pool. With helpful pics of women in bikinis just in case you didn't know what that looked like
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Eighth grader who refused photo with Paul Ryan defends decision: "I know what Paul Ryan stands for and I'm not going to take a picture with him. Kids know a lot and you should stop being close minded and see that too"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Blurry pictures of Bigfoot aside. Someone caught a woman levitating. Or at least walking on sunshine
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Finally, we can enjoy Bob Dylan's Nobel Prize lecture in full with this priceless recording
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon June 05, 2017
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Trump accuses Democrats of obstructionism and says he wants them to approve his nominees. Democrats point out that things would go a lot more smoothly, if he actually got around to nominating anyone for those key positions he's complaining about
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Colorado terrorized by naked yoga enthusiast (with SFW picture of what a naked yoga enthusiast might look like)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Will Spiceweasel deny ever saying what he was quoted as saying the other week? Will mongoose feel bad about what Snekretary said he said? Will any of this make sense? THIS is your Spiceweasel press briefing thread (1pm start time, 1:20 actual start)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Just because you can game the system for a high score doesn't mean you're actually smart. Difficulty: We're playing the U.S. education system, not a video game
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun June 04, 2017
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
God and the Holy Spirit control Trump's tiny Twittering hand. Also it's actually part of God's plan that Trump knows nothing of the world around him. Oh and: "God's changed the game," Wallnau declared, as he and the audience began speaking in tongues
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat June 03, 2017
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Smoking and drinking till you're 111 years old is...well...actually the way to go through life
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri June 02, 2017
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Texas masturbation bill is now in the hands of the Texas State Affairs Committee" where they will be distributing Purell, we hope
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu June 01, 2017
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"Is it so crazy to think that the cold spot is an imprint of a colliding universe? Actually, it is extremely unlikely"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Age is just a number, but 12 of MLB's 30 stadiums were built before 1995 and are now raising structural safety concerns
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 31, 2017
(Independent Journal Review)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: "Stop what you're doing and look at the shoes Hillary Clinton wore for Memorial Day". With many close-up photos of a completely uninteresting pair of comfy shoes
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(IGN)
 
 
 
New Comics (5/31): Saga is only 25 cents this month. That leaves you more money to buy 7 variant covers of Cable and still have money leftover to find out if the Hulk will ever actually appear in her own comic
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(Slate)
 
 
 
Help, my boyfriend won't get rid of all the naked pictures of his exes, which he says is just like keeping his wedding album. Also, I'm a moron
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(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Runner training for marathon discovers ditching all those sophisticated running apps and gadgets actually improves his performance: "As it turned out, running without all of the stuff was an absolute pleasure"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 30, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump was so proud of his 48% approval rating in a Rasmussen poll that he tweeted a picture of it; but even those guys dropped him 4 points over the weekend to land him at 44%, so presumably they are "fake news" now
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(Automotive News)
 
 
 
Welcome to the future of American manufacturing repatriation
source: autonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 29, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Scientists create new device that gives you an actual chill if you encounter a robot pretending to be human
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The "fake news" President Trump goes on and on about is actually coming from himself and his staff in the White House
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Finally, some actual important news you can use: What Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon will start streaming in June. Aside from Orange is the New Black season five, of course (link replaced)
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Running the country like a business means we can't afford to carry low productivity states. It's time for Donald Trump to close, sell or restructure Kentucky
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
28-year-old Bay Area artist is known for her provocative pictures of [her fingers in her] fruit (mostly safe for work)
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Sun May 28, 2017
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Glenn Close gives a show-stopping Broadway performance ... to lecture an audience member taking photos
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
White House: "Here's a picture of all the NATO leaders' wives." Journalist: "Isn't that the Luxembourg PM's husband in the back row?" White House: "THERE WERE ONLY WIVES AT THE NATO SUMMIT"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 26, 2017
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The "law & order" president is not being brought down by the "liberal media;" it's actually the law doing their jobs that's sending him into a tizzy over Russia
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"A guy who isn't particularly bright or hard-working, doesn't actually know anything, has bought his way into everything ever (w money from his criminal father), who is insecure, obsessed with fame and who is basically a shiathead," Bonus: Not Trump
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Trump's infrastructure plan. Hope you have toll money to pull over at the rest stop
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump invites freed political prisoner to the White House. "We actually didn't talk too much about (my time in) Egypt," she said. "We talked about how he actually had made a difference"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Actual Trump team vetting process: 1) Search Google. That's it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gallup)
 
 
 
Americans still see manufacturing as the key to job creation. Unfortunately the only thing we're able to still manufacture are part time jobs that pay minimum wage
source: gallup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 25, 2017
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
The Raiders are actually modern-day pirates
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(Think Progress)
 
 
 
When asked if she supports tax havens for the wealthy, Republican Representative in Minnesota answers: "There is actual joy to be found in Jesus Christ, Jesus loves you all." She then voted against closing tax loopholes, in Jesus' name, amen
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sears actually posts a quarterly profit after selling the one thing they had than anybody still wanted: The rights to the Craftsman brand name
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
The average person keeps 13 significant secrets, and it's actually bad for your health
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
51 South Koreans arrested for smuggling two tons of gold nuggets worth £77 million in their rectums and private parts. Au, that's gotta hurt
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 24, 2017
(Reuters)
 
 
 
What are the odds Trump will actually read the pope's 192-page letter on climate change like he promised him?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
A picture is worth a thousand words ... or the impeachment of a president
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 22, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Iranian president says he's waiting for the Trump administration "...to become stable intellectually". Sit down, Hassan, it's going to be a while
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(Slate)
 
 
 
Describing his trip to Saudi Arabia,Trump tells group of Israeli officials at meeting in Jerusalem that he "just got back from the Middle East." OK, who gets to be one to tell him what "Middle East" actually means?
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
NATO denies report that their Secretary General said Donald Trump has a "12 second attention span", says it's actually 8 seconds at best
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
An oil company is actually doing something nice for once
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Sun May 21, 2017
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Just how many points will the Cavs win by tonight? Or by some miracle can the Celtics actually win one? How did I ask that last question with a straight face? NBA Eastern Conference Coronation, tip 8:30 pm ET on TNT
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(Some Wildcat)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass lynx kyttens born at Connecticut zoo. With picture goodness
source: beardsleyzoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 19, 2017
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Guy shows support for girlfriend by wearing her grad picture on his shirt. Thus proving that Mashable writers weren't alive in the 90's
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hedge Fund billionaire Bill Ackman thinks he knows how Trump can save his presidency: Spend massive amounts of money on "Private sector led" infrastructure investment, because who isn't thrilled to death when a new toll road is built near them?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Actually a thing: Suing your celebrity ex for $60M for "soul murder"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nautil.us)
 
 
 
Telling investors to sit tight and not freak out during market corrections is like abstinence-only sex education. It ignores what people actually do, and often leads to underperformance
source: nautil.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
The House Science Committee had to write Trump a letter begging him to stop falling for fake news and actually try out some real sources once in his administration
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump interviews four candidates for post of FBI director, asks each of them if they'll stop any investigations before they actually take the job
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Steve Englehart, the man who created Mantis for Marvel, says his creation is "unrecognizable" in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Yes, she was actually a decent character for once
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 18, 2017
(Politico)
 
 
 
This will be a massive disappointment to the two people who actually thought Trump would break up the big banks
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Senate: "Yeah, we've decided to subpoena you over this whole Russia thing". Flynn: "Yeah? Go fark yourself" (Article Updated: Flynn has actually not responded yet)
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Wed May 17, 2017
(WTKR)
 
 
 
I've got nothing, so here's a picture of the Wienermobile on a ferry boat
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Tue May 16, 2017
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The Russian Foreign Ministry advised Americans on Tuesday to avoid reading U.S. newspapers following a report that Trump had disclosed intelligence information to Russian officials. Sorry, the only joke is, he's actually the president
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(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The "Tron: Legacy" soundtrack by Daft Punk remixed with "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" is just about perfect
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Pentagon's inspector general is conducting a review of the incredibly secretive B-21 bomber program to try to answer such questions as IS there actually such a plane or are we spending $80 billion to paint "1"'s on all our existing B-2's
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The U.S. Air Force has picked three light attack planes for trials. Will anything actually come of this? Who farking knows?
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Just met an actual Farker and survived. Ever meet one?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 15, 2017
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The grades are in - and the U.S. gets a D+ on its infrastructure report card
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Trump's personal lawyer is a man who is smart, aggressive, and not afraid to tweet out a sexy picture of his daughter in lingerie
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun May 14, 2017
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Corrupt police chief actually held accountable and sentenced to 3 years in prison for obstructing the FBI. Pigs seen flying in LA
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Fri May 12, 2017
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Although the new $1 billion scratch-card game is a high prize for U.S. lotteries, critics say its concept is actually a new low
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
As graduation prank, students create 6ft penis mural made from teachers' pictures. (Probably safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apple invests another $1 billion into Nevada. Actually it's $500,000,000 which could end up as $1 billion depending on whether the roulette wheel comes up on red or black
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The real problem with self-driving cars? They actually follow traffic laws
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 11, 2017
(Independent)
 
 
 
FBI agents change their Facebook profile pages to pictures of James Comey, a gesture usually reserved for slain comrades. Prepare for war
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
Meet the photographer who took the "Lunchtime atop a skyscraper" picture
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
How do you turn $100 into $8.20 without actually buying anything?
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Will someone bring up the Comey firing? Will anyone question McCabe or Dan Coats about Trump-Russia investigations? Will the hearing actually discuss what it was set out to do? THIS is your Senate Intelligence Hearing Thread (10am start time)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 10, 2017
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Vandalism in veterans cemetery may lead to boycott of the band Gorillaz. Which is fine. We're all fine with that. Whatever it takes, actually
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(Deadspin)
 
 
 
There was actually a reason to go to a White Sox game last night: adorable dogs
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Warren Buffett says airlines are now like "cattle cars." Which is how out of touch you become when you have $75 billion and haven't actually flown commercial since 1973
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(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Yes, it's come to this - tattoos that you can actually listen to
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Indie film shot on location in abandoned Pontiac Silverdome described as story of a ruined quarterback and a ruined stadium. "We might as well have been in the middle of a desert, or a swamp, actually"
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Tue May 09, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump: Hey, Mitt. I need your help. Do you still have those binders full of women? I need some. Also, how did you manage to fit actual, full-size women into binders? If you could do that, surely you would been a great president
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(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Kayleigh McEnany tries to defend the Kushner family's conflict of interest in China by offering visas to the highest bidder and unveiling Trump's picture by blaming the whole thing on "optics" and the event organizer
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(Ricochet)
 
 
 
Obama to continue architectural tradition of butt-ugly presidential libraries. His will look like a legless AT-AT
source: ricochet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Trump: Trudeau almost begged me to not kill NAFTA. Canada: Actually, your own aides called us and begged Trudeau to not give in to your demands
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(PR Newswire)
 
 
 
Your password probably sucks - but this new tool from Carnegie Mellon University can actually make it stronger
source: prnewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon May 08, 2017
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Obama warned Trump not to hire Flynn, but knowing that Trump wouldn't trust him, Obama knew Trump would hire Flynn just to spite him, which means Trump hiring Flynn was actually an Obama conspiracy to collude with the Russians
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(PennLive)
 
 
 
♫You simply can't be, a sanctuary city *clap, clap, clap, clap* deep in the heart of Texas♫
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Sat May 06, 2017
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Last pictures moments before photographers died. Morbid, but fascinating
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NCIS apparently doesn't hire Farkers as the team investigating the Marine nude photo-sharing scandal complain about looking at picture of naked people all day
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The House passing their healthcare bill might have actually delayed tax reform
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
Fluttershy gets sandbagged by the world of independent contacting. Can she manage to get the animal sanctuary built on her own? Will she make the animals pay for it? Find out on My Little Pony this Saturday on Discovery Family at 11:30 am ET
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 05, 2017
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Roger Stone actually makes a valid critique regarding Cabinet member serving POUTS
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Facebook retires Oculus VR studio because it wants to spend more time with its family. Actually because currently there is little interest in virtual reality, at least not the stuff that's come out from various companies
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Global warming enhanced by humanity's refusal to eat pests (with picture that will remind you of an infamously gross Stark Trek episode)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trumpers are just now starting to figure out that hey, ya know maybe it's possible that somehow Trump might have actually...ya know....LIED to them about stuff. Blame Obama rant coming in 3...2...1
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
When you find out your city has wooden water mains, maybe it's time to consider an infrastructure bill
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