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62 headlines found matching 'CIO'
Tue December 23, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(UPI)
 
 
 
Police determine suspicious 'Secret Santa' gift is actually Nickelback CD, immediately destroy it
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Sat December 20, 2014
(My Fox Houston)
 
 
 
A man is feeling a little down, so a worried friend calls police. Multi-agency task force lies to get warrant, sends SWAT team in to hit him with stun grenades, tasers, rubber bullets, and then beat him senseless. Bonus: 3 years of malicious prosecution
source: myfoxhouston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(350)
 


Wed December 17, 2014
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Ten year old complains to local school board that Common Core has shattered her delusion of being a precious little snowflake
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 


Sun December 14, 2014
(Chippewa Herald)
 
 
 
Study finds that 25% of Wisconsonites are binge drinkers, a rate second only to North Dakota. Experts cite a myriad of complex sociological reasons for this, most predominately, what is known as the "what the fark else is there to do here?" Factor
source: chippewa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Sat December 13, 2014
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
The big question for today's Army-Navy game: why the fark is the Navy mascot a goat instead of a ferocious sea creature such as a shark or the kraken? The answer actually makes sense
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Thu December 11, 2014
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Yes, Virginia, the Elf on the Shelf is real. And your little friends are precocious twerps
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 


Wed December 10, 2014
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British sociology students study primitive civilizations who dress strangely, don't speak comprehensible English and engage in peculiar mating and fighting rituals, say more field trips to British soccer games are planned
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Today's story on millennials demonstrating just how self-absorbed their precious snowflake upbringing has made them courtesy of Harvard, Columbia and Georgetown law schools
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 


Tue December 09, 2014
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Some people object to Sons of Anarchy due to its gratuitous violence, but one woman objects due to its atrocious rootsy sincere-rocker-guy soundtrack. "In all fairness, bikers like terrible music"
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Fri December 05, 2014
(Invicta FC)
 
 
 
Friday Women's MMA: Invicta 10, with Michelle "The Karate Hottie" Waterson vs Herica Tiburcio for the atomweight title. Starts at 9 PM ET on UFC Fight Pass
source: invictafc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 


Wed December 03, 2014
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Drunk boaters hit submerged island. 911 dispatch recommends lighting a signal fire beside crashed boat leaking gas. Remaining conscious survivor kills fellow boaters in resulting fire. Is there anybody involved in this story who isn't an idiot?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 


Sun November 30, 2014
(9 News)
 
 
 
And thanks to the slow news weekend here is a list of the 8 worst office Christmas gifts ever. Hot cocoa sampler box suspiciously absent from the list
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut unveils subconscious menu backed by "incredible software" that uses eye tracking to suggest a pizza for you to buy. Still no cure for heart disease
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 


Thu November 27, 2014
(MSN)
 
 
 
This burglar thinks he is so tough, until he encounters the vicious Yorkshire Terrier
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3)
 


Wed November 26, 2014
(Metro)
 
 
 
Nothing says delicious, wholesome dairy product quite like 'Coca Cola'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Tue November 25, 2014
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Police investigate suspicious envelope because, really, who uses the mail anymore?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 


Mon November 24, 2014
(YouTube)
 
 
 
John Oliver says turkeys are too delicious to keep pardoning: 'Death to turkeys'
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 


Thu November 20, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ten Toys NOT to get your kids for Christmas this year. Bag of Glass suspiciously missing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 


Mon November 17, 2014
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"No suspicion of criminal activity" against Palestinian bus driver found "beaten all over his body" and hanged in his own bus. In other breaking news, that Ferguson kid probably capped himself
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 


Sun November 16, 2014
(Slate)
 
 
 
Do you feel self-conscious in a restaurant and worry that your waiter is judging you? Well, guess what...he is. BON APPETIT
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Death should be optional; we should all be able to upload our consciousness into cyborg bodies
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 


Sat November 15, 2014
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
You, your wife, and your mistress are seriously worried about the overpopulation of the earth, coincidentally you are all also very hungry for delicious empadas. If only there was some way to tackle both of these vexing problems at the same time
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 


Thu November 13, 2014
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Okay, pheasants. Chicken and turkey are popular but let's not neglect other tasty options. This week we take a gander at some recipes and suggestions for cooking other delicious fowl this fall. And you. Yeah, you. Duck you, wiseguy
source: thehungrymouse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
ProTip: After running into a pedestrian while driving, it may arouse suspicion if you continue to drive for over a mile with the person embedded in your windshield
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 


Wed November 12, 2014
(UW Imprint)
 
 
 
Two incidents involving suspicious person at university were "cases of an individual being socially awkward"
source: uwimprint.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beary delicious treat
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 


Tue November 11, 2014
(Radio New Zealand)
 
 
 
Child molester who tracked down and murdered his victim's father said he escaped from prison and fled to South America to escape "vigilante justice system." With suitably sociopathic photo
source: radionz.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 


Sun November 09, 2014
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
Scientists name a new species of bat frog for Ozzy Osbourne, who immediately tracked one of the animals down, bit its head off, and said it was delicious
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to ... me not getting delicious food"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
With purchase of multiple depots and sites in England, German yoghurt maker Müller increases Weiss-like grip on British dairy business. Daily Mail asks what is going to happen to our precious bodily fluids
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5)
 


Fri November 07, 2014
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Ah, the natural apple: delicious, nutritious, and engineered to last
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Did you ever get the sneaking suspicion that the controller for your game console was designed by a Nazi?
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Mon October 27, 2014
(E! Online)
 
 
 
Chris Martin consciously uncouples from gorgeous woman. This is not a repeat from March
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The librarians first became suspicious when patrons asked if the heroin dealer was in the 540s for chemistry, 660s for chemical engineering, or 150s for addiction
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Fri October 24, 2014
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Fire at private school called "suspicious" by authorities. And by "suspicious," they mean "here's security camera footage of a kid roaming the halls the night of the fire with a 5-gallon gas can"
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 


Fri October 17, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
999 Emergency operator: "You're obviously fine if you are still capable of using a phone, so call back when you're unconscious"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Thu October 16, 2014
(Modern Farmer)
 
 
 
Why does beer smell so delicious?
source: modernfarmer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 


Wed October 15, 2014
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Finnish brewery to sell a recreation of 19th century beer found in a shipwreck. "This beer is absolutely delicious and offers consumers a taste of history"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 


Tue October 14, 2014
(Northampton Chronicle and Echo)
 
 
 
Stunningly brazen thieves steal precious steamroller parts in a "military style attack." In related news, some steamroller parts are "precious"
source: northamptonchron.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
A visit to a doomsday prepper camp in North Carolina, a four-day session on surviving super viruses, natural disasters, socioeconomic collapse, world war, and Obama, one would assume
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 


Thu October 09, 2014
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
If you're going to try to steal a bottle of wine from a supermarket, don't knock yourself unconscious on a shelf as you try to run away
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 


Tue October 07, 2014
(National Post)
 
 
 
The largest study on "near-death experiences" found that consciousnesses continues for three minutes after you are brain dead. Hospitals: We can bill for that somehow
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
The "Bacon Boom" was a carefully orchestrated plot designed to convince everyone bacon was delicious and essential in everything from burgers to ice cream. And it worked
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 


Wed October 01, 2014
(PBS)
 
 
 
76 out of 79 deceased NFL players found to have brain disease, other three shuffling around suspiciously, looking for Carl
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 


Mon September 29, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
California: 'Someone who is drunk, drugged, unconscious or asleep cannot grant consent.'
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(672)
 


Sun September 28, 2014
(The Register)
 
 
 
"Super Cali so litigious, Uber is the focus. Even German judges say it's something quite atrocious"
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 


Fri September 26, 2014
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Let it be known Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Marked), if the GOP wins the Senate you are in their crosshairs with your precious little Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 


Sun September 21, 2014
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Are you behind the ape ball? Do you feel your life is nothing more than a vicious circus? Well, welcome to the world of malapropisms and mangulation of the English language
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 


Fri September 19, 2014
(Komo)
 
 
 
A note to parents: don't let your children drink the delicious juice inside E-Cigarettes
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 


Wed September 17, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
$68 million in meth and heroin smuggled in fish shipment. Customs officials reportedly became suspicious as the frozen fillets were still twitching
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 


Tue September 16, 2014
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Performers stage diving during a concert can be cool, but it's recommended to be done on purpose and while conscious
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 


Mon September 15, 2014
(Delaware County Daily Times)
 
 
 
"Pennsylvania trooper killed in deadly ambush now conscious, talking"
source: delcotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Warlock)
 
 
 
Woman opens a witchcraft shop in an English town and gets... a gracious welcome and support from the townsfolk
source: harrogateadvertiser.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 


Fri September 12, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Noted relationship guru and domestic violence sociologist Chris Brown says Ray Rice should really, really try to stop beating women
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Ever wondered how deliciously awkward Star Wars' final throne room scene would be if all the accompanying music was removed? Here you go
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Thu September 11, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Texas official freaks out over "Meatless Monday." Hey, maybe Todd just likes to eat a lot of meat. I'm sure if he saw a nice sausage right now he'd get down on his knees and praise it before swallowing some glorious, delicious meat
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 


Mon September 08, 2014
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
New emoji app will let you text pictures of delicious sandwiches to your friends
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(KVOR Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
If you want to rob a bank, you should at least bring something to carry the money in because police get suspicious when they see money just falling out of someone's pants
source: kvor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 


Wed September 03, 2014
(Politico)
 
 
 
As we near the mid-terms, let's see how the Senate is shapin-OH DEAR GOD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. MY PRECIOUS
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
At least 17 mysterious fake cellphone towers being used to intercept calls in US: "What we find suspicious is that a lot of these interceptors are right on top of U.S. military bases." So yeah, maybe not so mysterious (pics)
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(San Bernardino Sun)
 
 
 
Skipper arrested on DUI suspicion after boat runs aground at Venice Beach. Assault charges may be added as witnesses claim he struck his first mate several times with his hat after the incident
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 


Sun August 31, 2014
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada banning Citronella based insect repellants because it killed some lab rats when they drank it. DEET on the rocks still an acceptable, and might I add delicious, summer beverage. BOTTOMS UP... *twitch*
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 

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