Headlines matching 'CHI'
Sat February 11, 2012
Fri February 10, 2012
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Weepy eyes, hot chix, Jersey Shore Ronnie and a guy with mini fishing reels stuck in his beard. It's all there in this week's mugshot roundup (thesmokinggun.com)
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Despite their efforts to convince you otherwise, many "foodies" can't, in a blind taste test, tell white wine from red, pate from dog food, or that the chips they're eating are soggy if you make crunching sounds in their ears (npr.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chachi plans to write tell-all book about every starlet he made 'sit on it' (guyspeed.com)
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Artist awarded $2500 for lost French fries after using high priced lawyer, a few bargaining chips (thelocal.de)
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Smart chimp solves complex memory puzzles in 60-milliseconds, might be Caesar from Planet of the Apes (techeblog.com)
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Man arrested for felony domestic violence for putting a 3-year-old child in a clothes dryer for punishment. (w/pic of cretin who looks like he went through the dryer himself) (myfoxdc.com)
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Charles Barkley is unhappy with the decision to make Steve Nash the oldest point guard ever to play in the NBA All-Star game. "Clearly, we gave him a lifetime achievement award" (azcentral.com)
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According to the United States Census Bureau, when a child is being watched by his father, that's a special "child care arrangement." When the mother is in responsible, that's the way God intended (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com)
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Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
Tue February 07, 2012
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In a study that was in no way influenced by Big Snack, potato chips have been found to be lower in sodium than sammich bread (medicalxpress.com)
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| (silive.com) |
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Mom is suing New York City and Child Services for NINE HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS (silive.com)
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Republicans set to keep farking that Medicare chicken (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Nerd) |
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Facebook seem a little slow today? Fark links seem more farked than usual? It's not just you, North America's intarwebs are only doing marginally better than China's right now (internettrafficreport.com)
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So just how bad was Pete Hoekstra's "yellow menace" Superbowl ad? Let's put it this way: John Pinnette's famous impression of a Chinese buffet owner was probably more culturally sensitive (politico.com)
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The Flip-Flopper in Chief: "I am against Super PACs and the influence of big, anonymous money in elections, unless they're all for me" (foxnews.com)
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I don't normally believe in conspiracy theories, but the Labrador retriever, the golden retriever, the dachshund, and the Chihuahua have never taken Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (mnn.com)
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| (Some rural PA town) |
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Stuff college kids get from vending machines: Chips, soda, gum, Plan B, candy...wait, what? (wtae.com)
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The man who tried to keep Challenger from launching that fateful morning has been reunited with the crew (npr.org)
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Mon February 06, 2012
Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
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University hires top ninja chief as business-school professor, researching how to apply ninja precepts to business world (japantimes.co.jp)
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As you can see. A completely ordinary Greek debt. Now, if I just cover it with a handkerchief & say, "Abracadabra".... Hey presto All gone (bbc.co.uk)
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February is National Children's Dental Health Month, or as it's abbreviated in Mississippi ... February (marketwatch.com)
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Curt Schilling's 38 Studios proves that some games take even longer than baseball (networkworld.com)
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Protip: Whenever a news story ends with a question mark, the answer is always "no". Case in point: "Is Bill Belichick quietly the NFL's best-dressed coach?" (slate.com)
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Rabid 900-pound cow attacks Georgia farmer. Okay, okay, we'll eat more chicken (wrcbtv.com)
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| (Some Shoggoth) |
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Group of scientists searching the Antarctic for a lake buried for tens of millions of years suddenly stop responding to colleagues, Miskatonic officials (globalpost.com)
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Employees at Detroit McDonald's locked in freezer after store robbery, enjoy the break from Michigan weather (clickondetroit.com)
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Sam Gagner becomes only the 12th player in NHL history to have an 8 point game. Last player was Lemieux in 1989, the year Gagner was born (nhl.com)
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Foundation offers psychic Sally Morgan $1,000,000 to prove that her psychic abilities are real. Sally Morgan instead threatens to sue them...WITH HER MIND (huffingtonpost.com)
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Thu February 02, 2012
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Brad Pitt gives soda to his children. More on this story as details come in (thesuperficial.com)
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| (Sum Gai) |
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Chinese restaurant catches fire. Fortunately there were no injuries, as everyone had prepared for such an event by running around their cars at red lights (woodtv.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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US Women's Soccer player Ella Masar opens up about the WPS "magicjack" team, including having to call the owner "Daddy" and the team having a chiropractor because he didn't believe in athletic trainers (pitchsidereport.com)
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Another one of those touching Thai life insurance commercials. What a drag (break.com)
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"The days of conservatives being punching bags are over," says Rep. Allen West, excitedly bobbing up and down (cnsnews.com)
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Angela Merkel to China: "Europe is making fiscal progress." Progress towards financial apocalypse, but progress nonetheless (marketwatch.com)
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Amazing archive of music about ot be available free. No funny here, just awesome (gizmodo.com)
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| (Some Rustled Cattle) |
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Florida's new red light cameras are catching video of interesting things besides red light runners. Like cattle rustlers. With video (wtsp.com)
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So, what happens if Obama wins a second term? "We will sentence [our children] to take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness." Welcome to Derpaggedon (slate.com)
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"This deadly cold front is sponsored to you by BMW -- the ultimate driving machine" (telegraph.co.uk)
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American Airlines announces plans for bankruptcy reorganization, hopes to achieve delicate balance between angering customers and screwing employees (upi.com)
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Who said the xylophone wasn't cool? Not when it's being played by a hot chick, it isn't (youtube.com)
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Researchers say scratching feels better on certain parts of your body. Sounds like junk science to me (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)
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Wed February 01, 2012
Tue January 31, 2012
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Will Nice Hair pull out a big win? Will Angry Womanizer make it a race? Will anyone care how Old Anarchist or Jesus Loves Me fare? It's your Florida Republican Primary live results thread (elections.msnbc.msn.com)
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New tapes of the day JFK was shot were found back and to the left of the archive (bbc.co.uk)
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Economies of midwest states, particularly Michigan, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania, have improved faster than the rest of the U.S. since 2009. Not that this fact has any particular relevance in this particular year (bloomberg.com)
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John thought he could casually walk into the supermarket, pour bleach on the chicken and pork, and slip out without anyone noticing. But something - SOMETHING - made him stand out (w/ mugshot goodness) (myfoxdc.com)
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Why Boise State has problems recruiting blue chip players. Word "Idaho" strangely absent (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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There's nothing quite like buying a car, taking it for a spin, picking up the ladies, and watching it roll down a hill into a brand new swimming pool (heraldsun.com.au)
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PNAS study reveals Christian political beliefs not as firm as the foundation erected by Jesus' teachings. PNAS (physorg.com)
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IMF disavows knowledge of China's fiscal "hard landing" (news.yahoo.com)
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Obama the chicken is being plucked (english.pravda.ru)
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Recipe for fun: downtown Des Moines Marriott to be shared for a week by just two groups---Chinese government officials and high school wrestlers in town for the state high school wrestling tournament (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)
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People aren't watching the Republican debates to learn about the issues - "It's like you're tuning in to a car race, you really want to see if there's a wreck" (huffingtonpost.com)
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The Chinese are finally taking Glenn Beck's advice...which may or may not be right for you. But you owe it to yourself to check it out (forbes.com)
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Obama passes on taking 18 of the 20 highest questions offered to him by voters via YouTube during recent Google hangout, but does address the pressing issues of dancing, gaming, and getting the late night munchies (huffingtonpost.com)
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Mon January 30, 2012
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Man found passed out in SUV urinates on Chicago police station floor, insists his air piano performance sounded awesome. The percussive handcuffs really killed it (chicagotribune.com)
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In Phoenix you can get a bacon-wrapped hot dog piled high with beans, mayonnaise, cheese, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, guacamole, salsa and jalapeño peppers. Your move, Chicago (azcentral.com)
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| (DailyFinance) |
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The list of America's 25 most dangerous neighborhoods. Chicago? NYC? Cincinnati laughs as it robs you at gunpoint (dailyfinance.com)
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Cute chick can talk backwards. This is pretty ypeerc (youtube.com)
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Now that they are done searching Megaupload's servers, can the Feds resist pushing the big red button? The jolly, candylike button? (guardian.co.uk)
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From the "This Will Not End Well" Department: Scientists make human brain cells using the skin of schizophrenic patients (news.com.au)
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Rick Santorum: We need to cap medical malpractice awards to $250,000. World: Didn't you file a $500,000 malpractice suit against your wife's chiropractor in 1999? Santorum: That was different (washingtonpost.com)
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Sarah Palin endorses Rage Against The Machine (dailycaller.com)
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American insurance company is branching out to act like dicks in the international market (news.com.au)
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Sun January 29, 2012
Sat January 28, 2012
Fri January 27, 2012
Thu January 26, 2012
Wed January 25, 2012
Tue January 24, 2012
Mon January 23, 2012
Sun January 22, 2012
Sat January 21, 2012
Fri January 20, 2012
Thu January 19, 2012
Wed January 18, 2012
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Astronomers aim to achieve what pornographers have been doing for years (news.discovery.com)
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Supermodel Cindy Crawford has taken on the role of pushy stage mother for the presumed benefit of her 10-year-old girl child, with a little help from the House of Versace. (kid modeling pics) (bittenandbound.com)
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If you thought Mad Dog 20/20 was bad just imagine the Chinese counterfeit version (articles.latimes.com)
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Network World gives FARK lots of credit during the SOPA blackout by telling its readers "As is generally the case, they're marching to a different beat over at Fark" (update 3) (networkworld.com)
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Relax Nashville residents - it is now legal to keep chickens in your backyard (wrcbtv.com)
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CNN runs an article on "Chocolate's Child Slaves". Hell, I thought they were called "Oompa Loompas" (thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com)
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TSA apologizes for strip searching elderly women...also, ugly women, men, women with small boobs, people with hideous disfiguring scars, and pets (nydailynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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SOPA SOPA SOPA, oh by the way I have a secret illegitimate child I have been hiding from my family. Oh man, it feels good to have that secret out (turnto23.com)
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Tue January 17, 2012
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If you only watch one movie trailer today about FDR killing Nazi werewolves in his machine-gun powered wheelchair, this should be it (NSFW language) (iheartchaos.com)
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Dear Green Bay, HAHAHAAHAAA. Love, Chicago (redeyechicago.com)
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Your childhood has just been obliterated forever. Super Slot Cars (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Well, I'm drunk and my car is stuck in the front lawn so I may as well pass out right here. What's that you say? This is not my own front lawn? Oh, it belongs to the Michigan State Police. Well that changes things now doesn't it? (cadillacnews.com)
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Gay parents are not only better than their heterosexual counterparts, but they do so by adopting children who are typically "too old," outside of their race, or have special needs. Tag is for anyone, anywhere, who adopts a child (huffingtonpost.com)
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India guesses at birthdate of army chief, approximates international borders, ensures world nuclear codes more or less secure (nytimes.com)
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| (Some Comic Book Guy) |
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Local TV Station to broadcast expose on sex, gore, and violence in comic books, and how it will harm your children. This is not a repeat from 1954. Fredric Wertham laughs while George Santayana weeps (comicsdc.blogspot.com)
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The world now has a poster child for You're Doing It Wrong (gawker.com)
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"Hello" by Lionel Ritchie re-created with movie clips (iheartchaos.com)
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Mon January 16, 2012
Sun January 15, 2012
Sat January 14, 2012
Fri January 13, 2012
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NASA image showing China's pollution problem.. FROM SPACE (gizmodo.com)
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Fark Party Chicago - 14 JAN - Lincoln Tap Room - 7pm (fark.com)
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Chicago FarkParty. Tomorrow. 7PM. Come drink away the cold. (Link goes to original thread.) (fark.com)
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The 10 most talented robots in the world today: "The Flying Machine Project is one of those things that makes us go, 'Why didn't we think about this before?'" (news.discovery.com)
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Meanwhile, China builds a 30-story, earthquake-resistant, energy-efficient five-star hotel in 360 hours (cnngo.com)
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Aon insurance moving its HQ from Chicago to London for better access to emerging markets, pizza (bloomberg.com)
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Chinese applications to U.S. colleges up 23%. Desperate American students quickly work on their ability to hit a 30 foot jump shot (behindthewall.msnbc.msn.com)
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After documentary exposes disabled children in Turkey are tied to their beds all day and not fed, Turkish government springs into action and charges the Duchess of York with violating the privacy of children (telegraph.co.uk)
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Chile wants to generate half of its electricity at hydro plants, river ecosysytems be damned (bloomberg.com)
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SWAT team stands by while angry Chinese rioters throw eggs, demanding a) democracy, b) a free Tibet, or c) the iPhone 4S? (bloomberg.com)
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Thu January 12, 2012
Wed January 11, 2012
Tue January 10, 2012
Mon January 09, 2012
Sun January 08, 2012
Sat January 07, 2012
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Tonight, the remaining GOP candidates square off in preparation for the New Hampshire primary. Will Santorum blast Romney? Will it be worth watching since Bachmann is gone? The derp begins at 9pm ET on ABC (washingtonpost.com)
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Parent upset by questions on her child's math test which included "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in 1 week?" (ajc.com)
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FAA grounds ten young whooping cranes and the bird-like plane they think is their mother teaching them to migrate because the pilot is being paid. No, really (orlandosentinel.com)
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New book claims we ALL have psychic powers. Yeah, right -- who didn't see that coming. Wait, what? (dailymail.co.uk)
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From MST3K's 6th season, it's Girls' Town. Mike & the 'Bots mock a caper film with Mel Torme, Mamie Van Doren, Paul Anka, The Platters, and Dick Contino. "It's either Jerry Van Dyke or a trained chimp" (youtube.com)
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Tim Burton wants Robert Downey, Jr to play Geppetto in a live action Pinocchio movie. I've got wood (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Study finds high-fat foods cause brain scarring -- but that's cool, zombie chicks dig brain scars (ktvz.com)
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Fri January 06, 2012
Thu January 05, 2012
| (Some Fools) |
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Burglars break into house, steal coin collection worth thousands -- then proceed to dump it all in coin counting machine, netting $450 (kptv.com)
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Former Microsoft software architect starts new company called Cocomo. Reports are his business model will be to take it fast, then to take it slow (news.cnet.com)
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Chipotle would like to sell you burritos for that big football game they aren't legally allowed to mention (sportsgrid.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman gives birth to 15 pound, 7 ounce baby. Man, this childhood obesity problem is really getting out of hand (duluthnewstribune.com)
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Crazy Eyes now has to decide between re-election or bleaching her hair and working for Fox (boston.com)
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Do you know anyone or better yet, work with anyone who is really paranoid or conspiracy believing? Like they think the Government is watching them, or that the CIA put LSD in their drinking water or some other nonsense? (fark.com)
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Hacker, apparently unaware of which decade the rest of the world lives in, digs up secret intel files on Henry Kissinger, Dan Quayle. Quick, Mr. Peabody, fire up the Wayback Machine (upi.com)
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Boy, are the Chinese gonna be pissed when they realize that they've got Warren and Jimmy confused (reuters.com)
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Michigan congregation opens tattoo parlor inside their church. Leviticus may have a problem with this (mlive.com)
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Canadian Defence Minister marries hot Iranian chick. What could possibly go wrong? (cnews.canoe.ca)
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Hey Kansas? Remember how we said that if you'd help us win that Air Force tanker contract, we keep all those jobs in Wichita? We lied. Love, Boeing. P.S. Thanks for the $41 Billion, suckas (businessweek.com)
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Okay guys, picture Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus fighting. Picture Selena Gomez off on the side watching. I could give you my SSN but I am sure none of you are reading this anymore (dailymail.co.uk)
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Just like football fans all across America, Tom Brady admits that he enjoyed watching the NY Jets fall out of the playoffs (nydailynews.com)
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China bus slides off snow-covered bridge, claims 16 lives and 1 curio cabinet (suntimes.com)
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What if Virginia lifts ban on uranium mining? Well, radioactive large cocktail peanuts, glow in the dark Chincoteague ponies, mutants raging through the streets of Arlington and Alexandria... wait that last one is a good thing (sciencedaily.com)
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After getting behind the latest front-runner and only finding santorum, the Tea Party is left unsatisfied and still searching for a unifying candidate (usatoday.com)
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Dermatologist says Botox has 'turned Carla Bruni into a chipmunk'. AAAALLLLLLLVVVVIIIIIINNNNNNN (dailymail.co.uk)
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Nutritionist says France should tackle child obesity by giving slim children better grades. Educators scoff at idea for U.S. saying it would only improve grades of three kids (reuters.com)
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| (KSL News) |
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Six police officers shot in ChicOgden (ksl.com)
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Wed January 04, 2012
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Andy Dick says 2012 will 'be big' for him ... so be watching for big arrests, big lawsuits, big headlines (upi.com)
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Every 10 minutes, 3 African children die from hunge...OMG PALIN'S NEW HAIR (huffingtonpost.com)
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Worried about monarchical rule and inability of local barons to control peasants? Well, New Hampshire might have a solution (thinkprogress.org)
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Oh, nothing, just watching 99 seconds of Yoda farting (youtube.com)
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The @MentionMachine ranks candidates based on how often they're tweeted about, so congratulations, President Paul (salon.com)
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China to North Korea: "Don't pee on the electric fence you chuckle heads" (washingtonpost.com)
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Auxiliary Bishop of Los Angeles resigns to spend more time with his children (canada.com)
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The best video of a New Year's Eve melee at a Chinese restaurant in Montreal ever (thesmokinggun.com)
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| (Evansville Courier & Press) |
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Indiana State Police ban "potentially dangerous" cans of Dr Pepper from Statehouse, where vending machines inside sell ... Dr Pepper (courierpress.com)
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Poisoned pussy kills billionaire in China (news.yahoo.com)
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We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle trojans, they'll wipe out the viruses (yro.slashdot.org)
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China's knockoff Disneyland manages to be creepier than original (photos) (cnngo.com)
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Chicagoans can now go online to track the snow plows that are not clearing their streets (wlsam.com)
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Chicago man gets shot three times, shoved in trunk of his own car, is taken on a ride through the city, then manages to free himself and call for help. TA-DAA (abcnews.go.com)
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Tue January 03, 2012
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"There's Mr. Bro Beard approaching Miss Hottie ... oh no: REEEEEE-JECTED" (rivals.yahoo.com)
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Bears part ways with offensive coordinator Mike Martz, who will now put his O-line coaching skills to use training matadors (espn.go.com)
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It's Big Blue vs Blue Turf, Tradition vs Nouveau, as Michigan battles Bois...Wait, why is Virginia Tech here? Didn't Clemson pants them twice? Well, that's awkward. Anywho, it's your official Sugar Bowl discussion thread (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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Some professor is making an argument that lecturing isn't effective as a teaching technique, but subby isn't absorbing any of it (npr.org)
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St Trinian's and Molesworth creator Ronald Searle dies at 91. Yar boo sucks chiz chiz (uk.reuters.com)
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When drunk at the McDonald's drive-through, don't fall asleep. If you fall asleep and are awakened by the Chicago Police, don't give a fake name. If you must give a fake name, make sure it does not belong to a registered sex offender (chicagotribune.com)
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Mon January 02, 2012
Sun January 01, 2012
Sat December 31, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Mike Munchak's "heart is torn" over Penn State head coaching opportunity. Sandusky's victims say they're a bit torn up, too (collegefootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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The Doctor to marry woman who played the role of his daughter. Same woman also happens to be The Doctor's daughter in real life and already has a child with The Doctor. Surprisingly, none of this happened in Dixie (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Key West -- which writers Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, Robert Frost, Judy Blume, Robert Stone, Jim Harrison, Maria Bishop, Mark Childress and others have called home -- is down to one bookstore. Sad easily trumps Florida (keysnet.com)
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Adopted woman, 64, who spent whole life thinking she was an only child discovers she has nine fat, homely siblings living minutes away (dailymail.co.uk)
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Fri December 30, 2011
Thu December 29, 2011
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Mother of the Year competition sees last-minute entry, as Louisiana woman leaves her foster children outside while she plays blackjack at a casino. On Christmas Eve day (nola.com)
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Ever see a grown man barbecue naked? Sure you have. Stupid question. But how about a grown chimp... saute nude? (dailymail.co.uk)
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Paris Hilton unbanned from Vegas hotel. Finally, peace on Earth has been achieved (tmz.com)
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| (GizMag) |
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Vending machines will soon offer 30 minutes of free wi-fi, even if you don't buy the panties (gizmag.com)
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Some politicians fight for abortion bans, some for gay rights, some for less taxes, some for legalized marijuana. Some fight for real issues, like "a vote for me is a vote for an 'In-N-Out Burger' franchise in our town" (blogs.denverpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Following the lead of Pinellas County, Florida in protecting American precious bodily fluids is Hartland Township... Michigan? (hartland.patch.com)
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In another flagrant example of government over-regulation, Montréal residents can no longer get their pancakes and eggs served by topless women and eat them while watching porn (cbc.ca)
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So you're a king eh?, Tell me, what's the monarching business pay these days? Really? Do you get medical and dental too? Nice (news.yahoo.com)
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100th grandchild and counting (cnews.canoe.ca)
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Wed December 28, 2011
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I wouldn't say that no one wants the Penn State coaching job, but no one wants the Penn State coaching job (espn.go.com)
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And the Forever Alone 2011 Award goes to: Anonymous Chinese man who spent $16,000 on a virtual sword before the game was released (gizmodo.com)
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"Re-electing politicians who voted for the Patriot Act and NDAA is like a flock of chickens voting for Colonel Sanders" (nola.com)
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Tiger Woods' former mistress Rachel Uchitel announces she's five months pregnant (dailymail.co.uk)
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Taste of Chicago organizers finally see the light, shorten the event to five days and won't hold it over the 4th of July weekend (chicagotribune.com)
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RNC Chairman Reince Priebus: "Chill out, the nominee has already been picked. You think we allow this to chance?" (politico.com)
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Man lets bikini-clad chick reach into his pants and try to snatch his coin-purse before beating her off with his crutches. (w/ you would have done the same pics) (myfoxdc.com)
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Repent. The Eye of Satan is watching you from space and he knows you are just a very naughty boy (gizmodo.com)
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AZ judge says school district's ethnic studies program is illegal because teaching Hispanics how badly the state has screwed them over in the past might lead to "resentments" against white people (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The first Hello Kitty restaurant in China features pink tablecloths and lamps, waiters in white shirts with red bows and blue rompers, and a Christmas tree in the middle of the room, surrounded with Kitty balloons (asiaone.com)
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2 people killed, 4 others injured in shooting at Church's Chicken. *pew*pew*pew* (suntimes.com)
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This is the story of a woman. A woman who lost her father to a massive heart attack. A woman who learned who her father was...by watching his opening and closing narrations on... The Twilight Zone (salon.com)
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Cheeta, chimpanzee star of "Tarzan," dead at 80. Me sad (popwatch.ew.com)
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Tue December 27, 2011
Mon December 26, 2011
Sun December 25, 2011
Sat December 24, 2011
Fri December 23, 2011
Thu December 22, 2011
Wed December 21, 2011
Tue December 20, 2011
Mon December 19, 2011
Sun December 18, 2011
Sat December 17, 2011
Fri December 16, 2011
Thu December 15, 2011
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African ant can paralyze and kill prey without even touching it. Don't worry -- there's almost zero chance that one of them will crawl into your nose tonight as you sleep (labspaces.net)
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Victoria's Secret under fire for use of child labor in cotton fields, spandex orchards and sequin mines (cnn.com)
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Sandusky's lawyer: "Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people ... like how to put soap on their body." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (content.usatoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ugly-ass baby Gentoo penguin chick makes its debut at Sea World Queensland. With pics and video (brisbanetimes.com.au)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not content with simply having a milkshake with your buffalo chicken, now there's the Buffalo Chicken Milkshake. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS? (thepostgame.com)
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Chinese haxxors are stealing petabytes worth of proprietary data from foreign countries and corporations. In other news, the US just passed legislation to put you in jail for stealing photoshop (mobile.bloomberg.com)
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Playboy magazine moving from Chicago to Los Angeles. Circulation office now nearer to their 12 subscribers (money.cnn.com)
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20-year-old makes awesome melodic dubstep. Try it out if you like chill electronic. Not affiliated, just like the tunes (youtube.com)
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Booie, the smoking chimpanzee, dies at 44.... BUH BYE, BOOIE (denverpost.com)
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| (Some Zabaglione) |
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Zamboni sickens score of schoolchildren. They should have had the spaghetti (baynews9.com)
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Ladies: stop searching for the 'perfect man'. He does not exist (dailymail.co.uk)
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Men are oppressing women by allowing women to earn more with better jobs while staying home playing video games, drinking beer, watching porn and boffing their mother-in-laws (nytimes.com)
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China's new aircraft carrier goes to sea. But don't worry its just for 'research' purposes, like researching on how to take on a Nimitz Class (dailymail.co.uk)
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Wed December 14, 2011
Tue December 13, 2011
Mon December 12, 2011
Sun December 11, 2011
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Website offers rare glimpse of North Korean TV. Hey, it beats watching Community (news.yahoo.com)
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In case your Sunday didn't already suck, here's the trailer for the new Battleship "movie" in which Master Chief from the Halo series decides to attack Earth. Or something (youtube.com)
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That movie you spent a lot of time watching in your bunk as a kid is being remade. No, not that one. No, not "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." That other one (avclub.com)
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Van Morrison's 44-year old girlfriend and mother of his youngest child, Gigi Lee, dies of cancer. Michelle Rocca, Van's wife and mother of his two other children, can hopefully help Van deal with this tragedy (dailymail.co.uk)
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Still not in the Christmas spirit? Maybe this slideshow of children crying while getting their picture taken with Santa Claus will put you in the mood (life.com)
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Spandex, once a vintage ABBA hot chick wardrobe staple, making a comeback. Unfortunately this time around, it's more like sausage casing for American fatasses (npr.org)
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Watch as this conservative GOP audience cheers for child labor, as Upton Sinclair spins in his grave (rawstory.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Religious groups outraged about raunchy t-shirts being sold to children in the community. "Boobies make me smile" (couriermail.com.au)
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Sat December 10, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Parents suspect kid of smoking. News: They want the kid beaten up because of it. FARK: They farm out the job to a guy known as an child-discipline "enforcer" (duluthnewstribune.com)
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If some chick tells you she is a doctor, and wants to make your penis bigger by injecting something into it, well, use your best judgement (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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UFC 140 discussion thread. Jon Jones and Lyoto Machida. Plus big Nog, little Nog, pour yourself a glass of eggnog, the Hairrow and many more great fighters will take to the octagon. First fights start at 5:50pm ET (ufc.com)
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Reports are that 4 children were gunned down on Syrian streets. Hold on Tom, we're getting word that Angelina Jolie and her father, Jon Voight have now reconciled before the world's media (telegraph.co.uk)
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Authorities arrest 3 Chinese men in Cologne after finding 100 snakes, 70 tortoises, and 20 neon-colored frogs in their hotel room; are unsure whether they are animal dealers or had just ordered room service (thelocal.de)
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Fri December 09, 2011
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Sleep easy tonight, Florida. Instead of catching murderers the police are cracking down on pizza flyer deliveries (orlandosentinel.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Daily deal sites blamed for driving Chicago-area vegan hot dog stand out of business. It was a Chicago-area vegan hot dog stand (chicago.cbslocal.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman catching heat for throwing a Molotov cocktail into a home (with "Come on, baby, light my fire" mugshot goodness) (kltv.com)
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Acer CEO vows to achieve profitability by switching production from cheap Taiwanese crap to overpriced Taiwanese crap (marketwatch.com)
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What the hell were these architects thinking? (gizmodo.com)
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Texas Instruments revenue falls, discovers it's tough to be in the computer business when the chips are down (bloomberg.com)
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Yeah - Chinese fire drill - I love these things - we used to do them as a kid all of the ti...guys, hey, guys - that's not the way it goes (myfoxdc.com)
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Glimmer Twins: Keith Richards, Mick Jagger pay for Chicago bluesman's burial (suntimes.com)
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Production of the Ford Econoline van will end next year. Children who are prone to accepting candy from strangers rejoice (foxnews.com)
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How To Pick Up A Chick . . . try it . . . sometimes it works . . . . sometimes you get arrested . . but hey, you don't know if you don't try, right? (liveleak.com)
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For the record, Mr. Cool Ice no longer has the world's douchiest tattoo. This moron's Tebow centaur has now taken the lead (huffingtonpost.com)
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S&P's chief credit officer downgraded from "employed" to "fired". This leaves him at "junk" status and available for assignment to the Chicago Cubs (bloomberg.com)
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Texas dentist caught with child porn has been sentenced to five years of having his cavities filled (statesman.com)
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Thu December 08, 2011
Wed December 07, 2011
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No terrorist in their right mind will attack Montcalm County, Michigan now that they have $11,700 worth of snow cone machines. Thank you, Homeland Security (gawker.com)
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The 2012 list of inductees to Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has been released. Guns and Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys make the cut. Welcome to the Geritol (bbc.co.uk)
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Remember the former Miss USA arrested for drunk driving in Michigan who claimed she was going to be the designated driver? Her story is about .20 percent accurate (dailymail.co.uk)
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Contrary to popular belief, atheists do take their families to church. "We thought that these individuals might be less inclined to introduce their children to religious traditions, but we found the exact opposite to be true" (religion.blogs.cnn.com)
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The possibility of hearing somebody ordering a Half-Lite Venti Budweiser Macchiato has just become a frightening reality (huffingtonpost.com)
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Bill Gates developing OS with China, says it will be "low cost, very safe and generate very little waste", which means it will be full of security holes and will crash a lot. Wait, did I say OS? I meant a nuclear reactor (news.yahoo.com)
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Federal Aviation Administrator chief Randy Babbitt downgraded from FAA to AA (sltrib.com)
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How many Chinese men can you fit on the end of a nail? (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue December 06, 2011
Mon December 05, 2011
Sun December 04, 2011
Sat December 03, 2011
Fri December 02, 2011
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1st grader faces sexual harassment charge for punching another boy in the groin. Mom says the other kid choked her son, and says if you consider the punch to be sexual assault, then you need to charge the other boy with attempted murder (azcentral.com)
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Why blog for the Huffington Post for free when you can pay five grand for the privilege of fetching Arianna's coffee? (forbes.com)
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The truth about how new businesses are funded. It's like watching sausage being made, except with money (cnbc.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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School bans Christmas cards. "In their effort to be PC, they've achieved the absurd" (610wiod.com)
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REMINDER: Michiana Fark Party @ Lakeshore Grill in Elkhart TOMORROW (fark.com)
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Topless cereal eating, nude piano playing and a stay in a psychiatric ward. Yup - it's the latest Lady Gaga music video (sfw) (dailymail.co.uk)
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In 1994, Commodore Business Machines went out of business. A man on the last day of operations brought his camera along with him to record the last hours of this once epic company (video.google.com)
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In the sickening sports world of child molestation and brute, ego-driven domination, there is one but one man whose actions show us what it means to be a leader. Bless us, oh Tebow, and show us the light (washingtonpost.com)
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Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape (youtube.com)
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Do you remember the straw goat in Sweden which they decided to cover with with ice so that it would not burn this year? Better luck next year, or start searching for water that freezes in 1500F (thelocal.se)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In what may be the biggest load of crap since the whole "If you've ever smoked a joint, you caused 9/11" campaign, a legislator compares copyright infringement to child porn (techdirt.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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$20,000 of donated toys stolen from childrens hospital. Suspect described as 4'6 green male with a heart 2 sizes too small, last seen sitting in the window seat on the train to hell (abc15.com)
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"Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habit of working, and they have no one around them who works" Guess which GOP candidate said it? Guess (cbsnews.com)
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Thu December 01, 2011
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"Chick sexing" is not as much fun as you might think (discovermagazine.com)
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Oldest Holocaust archive features gifts for under the National Socialist Christmas tree: Nazi Viewmasters, childrens' books on how to identify Jews like poisonous mushrooms, and the delightful "Juden Raus" board game (bbc.co.uk)
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One woman, 15 children by 5 babydaddys, fiancée in jail and "somebody needs to pay for ALL my chilren" (youtube.com)
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Former diplomat warns of 'sexpionage' traps during trips to China. Ploy alleged to be extremely sophisticated, diplomat was targeted five times in the last year. Also notes Grand Hyatt Beijing is discounting through May (content.usatoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nearly all of $40 million grant from Gates Foundation to improve teaching in Pittsburgh goes to administrators and consultants. All kids left behind (pittsburghlive.com)
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Public library mad because homeless people are watching porn on the computers. Article does not disclose what the hell else libraries are good for (ktla.com)
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Trey Parker and Robert Lopez on "Book of Mormon" Grammy nod: "The Tonys, I went kind of classy, but a little rocked out, but Grammys, I don't know. It might be like a chicken outfit or something? A chicken costume?" (music-mix.ew.com)
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Michigan State cheerleader falls, breaks face, lies motionless on the floor. Then the PA system starts playing "The Final Countdown" (deadspin.com)
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Completing transition from "hot jogger chick with sledgehammer" to "bespectacled Orwellian overlord," Apple is expected to become the world's top PC maker in 2012 (macworld.com)
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Farks favorite Taiwanese animators take on the American Airlines bankruptcy. With bonus fighter jets, fat cat tycoons and a panda bear punching out a gate agent (huffingtonpost.com)
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Coming up next on today's edition of "You're Doing it Wrong," Courtney Love offers sobriety coaching to Lindsay Lohan (eonline.com)
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World's first chocolate theme park travels through China. Though it still lacks all-you-can-eat live chocolate puppies, it's nice to see Homer Simpson's greatest vision one step closer to being realized (cnngo.com)
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Throwing poop is a sign of intelligence in chimps; inner workings of Congress remain inexplicable (physorg.com)
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Wed November 30, 2011
Tue November 29, 2011
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Activision CEO: Star Wars The Old Republic may not make EA any money. EA CEO: It will be profitable. George Lucas: Who cares, cha-ching (arstechnica.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Burglar makes himself at home while on the job by showering, wearing resident's clothes, making tacos and cookies, then watching a movie (sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com)
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Today's WTF video comes directly from Skyrim, where there are far, far creepier things than simply being a gamer nerd (SFW, but probably don't want the boss to catch you watching it) (g4tv.com)
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| (Lost Lettermen) |
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Jim Tressel, former National Championship-winning head coach of THE Ohio State University, interviewing for the coaching vacancy at THE University of Akron (lostlettermen.com)
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NBA douches that went to China to play, may not get to rejoin the American NBA douches (sports.yahoo.com)
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LaToya blubbers to 'Bubbles' in weepy reunion with Michael's chimp (cnsnews.com)
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Israeli authorities apologize to pregnant NYTimes reporter who was forced to go through an X-ray machine three times and then strip searched by soldiers after she asked to avoid the x-ray machine for fear of harming her fetus (businessweek.com)
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| (Whatever) |
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Not news: Hugo winning author John Scalzi live tweets while rewatching LoTR trilogy. Still not news: Asks for dubsteb remix of Smeagol fish battering scene. Fark: Gets it the next day (whatever.scalzi.com)
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Retired Seattle police chief Norm Stamper - who led the 1999 WTO Battle for Seattle - says that police responses to the Occupy protests is too heavy handed, blames the militarization of local police by Homeland Security (bbc.co.uk)
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Super cool: You land a foursome with three hot chicks. Still kinda cool: They're all drunk at the bar you own. Not cool: Their combined ages add up to 36 (foxnews.com)
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| (Some Old Trou) |
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Note: If you're trying to impress chicks at West Point, don't wear an 'Old Trou' t-shirt (wtsp.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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UN officials say mariachi music is a vanishing cultural tradition. Obviously they've never eaten at a Mexican restaurant in any strip mall in Phoenix (couriermail.com.au)
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Mon November 28, 2011
Sun November 27, 2011
Sat November 26, 2011
Fri November 25, 2011
Thu November 24, 2011
Wed November 23, 2011
Tue November 22, 2011
Mon November 21, 2011
Sun November 20, 2011
Sat November 19, 2011
Fri November 18, 2011
Thu November 17, 2011
Wed November 16, 2011
Tue November 15, 2011
Mon November 14, 2011
Sun November 13, 2011
Sat November 12, 2011
Fri November 11, 2011
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Today's stupid celebrity baby name goes to Bachelor "Winner" Shayne Lamas, who gave birth to daughter Press Dahl Lamas-Richie (tmz.com)
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Sasha Grey will not quit reading to children. Here's her rebuttal (tmz.com)
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Elderly Chinese choir takes on Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"... and it's actually kinda good (youtube.com)
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NCIS Cold Case Homicide working on 1992 Marine murder. There is no Prime Suspect, but they hope a new Dragnet by the Numb3rs will restore Law & Order by catching these Criminal Minds (nj.com)
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Adopted dog pays dividends by catching burglar mere hours after coming home from the pound (ohio.com)
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Man dies after jumping into Lake Michigan. Authorities suspect that he succumbed to pier pressure (wlsam.com)
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| (Orion) |
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''As we gazed into each other's eyes, Athena encircled my arms with hers, latching on with first dozens, then hundreds of her sensitive, dexterous suckers'' (orionmagazine.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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It turns out a controversial Chinese restaurant wasn't really serving koala meat to customers. It was bamboo rat meat (couriermail.com.au)
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| (HPCwire) |
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Chinese supercomputer creates a virus. And actually, that's a good thing (hpcwire.com)
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| (msn) |
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Man watching chopping event gets hit by flying axe head. Large crowd, numerous competitors only adze to the confusion (news.msn.co.nz)
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Psychologist says a stiff drink will help your child with anger issues (telegraph.co.uk)
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Legendary Chicago Bear Willie Gault's Super Bowl ring has been picked off (tmz.com)
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After 70 years, a WWII era Spitfire that crashed in 1941 is unearthed. Cool: The plane is in astounding condition. Ultracool: The Browning machine guns are built to last (w/ video) (bbc.co.uk)
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If Fred Jackson's looking for extra motivation for game against the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones tore down his childhood home (sports.yahoo.com)
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Thu November 10, 2011
Wed November 09, 2011
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Same old story. You meet a hot chick online, so you hop a bus to Milwaukee and have a few drinks. But then it turns out she's all werewolfy and into knife sex; and there you are, alone in the middle of a strange city with 300 stab wounds (twincities.com)
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| (Some MI Zombie Mayor) |
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Chicago: The dead vote. Michigan: The dead get voted for. Fark: They get elected (wlns.com)
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Another child takes the washing machine out for a spin. It's a never ending cycle (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chinese want the Real Madrid-Barcelona game to be played at mid-day to make it more convenient for them to bandwagon Real (goal.com)
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Vladimir Putin finds Soviet-era weather-control machine, points it at Sarah Palin's front porch, and flips ALL the switches (today.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Create an audio version of an email hoax. Write your own or follow link to hoax archive (hoax-slayer.com)
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City of Chicago plans on selling ad space on trash cans, pay boxes, and pretty much anything that will earn them a few bucks (suntimes.com)
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Want to save $3,300 a year? Quit smoking like a chimney (upi.com)
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Methamphetamine tied to schizophrenia tied to methamphetamine tied to schizophrenia (cbsnews.com)
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China threatens massive release of greenhouse gasses unless "climate ransom" is paid. But you've got a Prius, solar panels, and all those carbon credits, so no worries (marketwatch.com)
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Tue November 08, 2011
Mon November 07, 2011
Sun November 06, 2011
Sat November 05, 2011
Fri November 04, 2011
Thu November 03, 2011
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Cops turn to Facebook to bust a machete-wielding madman who attacked two in a chicken shack (nydailynews.com)
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Twin Rivers police stops selling T-shirt showing child behind bars along with "U Raise 'Em, We Cage 'Em" text. Subby is offended: "tase" would have been a much better rhyme than "cage" (boingboing.net)
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It's never a good idea to use your Facebook status update to threaten blow up the police department, but it's an especially bad idea if you also collect child pornography (mobile.al.com)
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Attention science nerds: Scientific American's online archive, dating back to 1845, is available, free of charge, for the entire month of November (nature.com)
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Riot police: "What's the matter, Kiev protesters? CHICKEN?" (upi.com)
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"I hear China ALREADY HAS nuclear capability." --Herman Cain (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Michigan GOP: "Legalize it". And by "it", they mean bullying gay students (michiganmessenger.com)
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The AV Club's Reasonable Discussions #19: "Bono Still Needs a Cockpunching" (avclub.com)
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Cliff near Wisconsin power plant collapses, depositing frothy slurry of coal ash--a hearty blend of selenium, lead, mercury and arsenic--into the cool blue waters of Lake Michigan. Drink up, folks (huffingtonpost.com)
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Hugh Jackman cried while watching "Real Steel," presumably from regret (starpulse.com)
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| (Kickstarter) |
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Old-school Farker is launching a Kickstarter campaign for a new game. Come check it out; if you like it you could help a fellow Farker out (kickstarter.com)
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Remember when the TSA rolled out those nude x-ray machines and glossed over cancer concerns? Yeah, about that (mnn.com)
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Disturbingly popular trend in China has couples wearing matching outfits wherever they go. As if China hasn't already manufactured enough products that make you sick (cnngo.com)
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Wed November 02, 2011
Tue November 01, 2011
Mon October 31, 2011
Sun October 30, 2011
Sat October 29, 2011
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So, everyone watched the premieres of Grimm and Chuck last night. Naw, just kidding, everyone was watching the World Series. Now next week, Fox will see their ratings win decline as Fringe will be back (insidetv.ew.com)
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10 ways to not being an annoying airplane passenger. Leaving your screaming children at home strangely absent (foxnews.com)
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And now for a Mormon who got people stormin' over children adornin' themselves - the church is now messing with children cross dressing and won't allow unisex elves (foxnews.com)
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US Border Patrol stops routinely searching buses, trains and airports for illegal immigrants at transportation hubs along the northern border that's been great for tracking down people here illegally. Psst: It's now ok, illegals (hosted.ap.org)
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Vampire stars, Frankensatellites, Children of the Corn and a meteor shower. Your all star Halloween lineup... FROM SPACE (msnbc.msn.com)
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2,700 year old picture of childbirth found at Etruscan dig site, complete with inscription reading "GIVE ME MY EPIDURAL OR I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF WITH THAT FARKING STETHOSCOPE" (sciencedaily.com)
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Can Wisconsin bounce back? Can Michigan State keep up the momentum? Is Kansas State for real? And will Stanford's SOS finally be higher than Boise's? It's your college football discussion thread (rivals.yahoo.com)
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| (IndyChannel) |
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Most think breaking into a day care and trying on children's swim suits is not acceptable behavior. Then there is this guy (theindychannel.com)
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Fri October 28, 2011
Thu October 27, 2011
Wed October 26, 2011
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If you had "Chicago" as the first team to make an offer to TO, come collect your prize (kansascity.com)
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Bruce Willis and wife expecting first child. Yippie-ki-yay, mother, father (washingtonpost.com)
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| (CBS Local) |
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Dog missing in Tennessee turns up in Michigan, and boy, are his paws tired (detroit.cbslocal.com)
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Police find children in kennel. The kids were initially very rowdy but calmed down when police threatened to get out the paper (omaha.com)
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Indianapolis Colts place Kerry Collins, entire coaching staff on injured reserve (indystar.com)
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If you are hot for chicks who smell like marmite, beer and pickles, then this is great news (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (I Got A Rock) |
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Food allergy jihadists set up alternative Halloween in abandoned parking lot in Tuscon. Naturally, they've outlawed costumes, pumpkins, and candy, but children will certainly thrill to the awesome spectacle of tar fumes and 120 degree heat (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com)
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Google/Youtube take down request by country: UK wanted to ban Jihadist, Germany Nazis, US wanted videos of police brutality removed, Japan didn't want to have remove anything and China is a state-secret (theregister.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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China to curb 'overly entertaining' TV shows. Don't worry, Jay Leno - you're safe (duluthnewstribune.com)
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Tue October 25, 2011
Mon October 24, 2011
Sun October 23, 2011
Sat October 22, 2011
Fri October 21, 2011
Thu October 20, 2011
Wed October 19, 2011
Tue October 18, 2011
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Advice columnist won't give advice on getting married, getting divorced, having children, getting abortions, adopting, or consensual cheating, because those are "too personal." Advice columnist (washingtonpost.com)
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Success of experimental malaria vaccine is not giving people chills (washingtonpost.com)
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Michigan wants to make it illegal for students and school employees to have sex. Yes, even at the university level (wxyz.com)
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23 mentally unstable Swedish women convicted for possession of child pornography, wrecking perfect fantasy with just one word (canada.com)
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Iowa National Guard machine gunner develops Predator-style ammo backpack, still ain't got time to bleed (gizmodo.com)
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China Eastern halts order from Boeing. I knew there would be problems, of course, when the 787 hit the ANAs (marketwatch.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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First grade class is having issues with too much kicking, scratching, punching and choking. And that's just from the teacher (wusa9.com)
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Russian governor offers $17,000 for a bald chipmunk. Wow, waxing is really pricey in Russia (english.pravda.ru)
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The Bears, who have been dragging their feet about resigning Matt Forte, may want to move quickly, as at least two teams have expressed an interest in him. But that would require a Chicago sports team to be smart, which is impossible (chicagotribune.com)
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Maker of beer tap handles chooses American over Chinese factories for new products. I'll drink to that (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Mon October 17, 2011
Sun October 16, 2011
Sat October 15, 2011
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