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175 headlines found matching 'Bon'
Thu February 23, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(ABC 4 Charleston)
 
 
 
Schoolbus driver arrested for DUI after driving Drama Club on field trip after drinking 3/4ths of a gallon of bourbon. If these kids are gonna be real actors, they gotta learn about performing while drunk from somebody
source: abcnews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
SodaStream announces ceasefire in its endless assault on your health and waistline to say they are recalling thousands of bottles that may rupture when carbonating your sugar water
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue February 21, 2017
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Apple shifts global marketing strategy to focus more on creating digital and regional campaigns, less on localizing big brand campaigns for global markets. Whatever the hell that means, let's just hope there's less Bono
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Bloomin' Brands to close dozens of Outback Steakhouse, Bonefish Grill, Carrabba's Italian Grill and Fleming's Prime Steakhouse. Great, Now where are we going to go for food that has no rules?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 20, 2017
(WebMD)
 
 
 
"Love hormone" oxytocin helps dads and babies bond. Which usually lasts for years until the child asks for $50 and the car keys
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clearance Clarence)
 
 
 
Mullet, Cold War and now another piece of 80's nostalgia is back: ATC Union "prepared to fight for US airspace safety" in light of Trump's freeze on hiring federal employees and the executive branch's hateboner for federal employees and unions
source: airtrafficmanagement.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat February 18, 2017
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Smartphones will soon become mobile laboratories which can monitor bone density, red blood cell levels and even predict asthma attacks as scientists repurpose phone technology such as accelerometers, camera flashes and microphones as medical tools"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu February 16, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You're a defenseman and an opposing player knocks your stick out of your hands. Solution: Grab his stick right out of his hands. Fark: He takes your stick that's lying on the ice and uses it to score. Bonus: Awkward stick exchange afterwards
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Indie music stars are banding together to help refugees with a music project whose motto is "Don't be like Bono"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Little Green Footballs)
 
 
 
Key Trump aide Stephen Miller follows David Duke on Twitter. Bonus: And "likes" Duke's tweets. Double failtastic cross-burny bonus: As recently as Tuesday
source: littlegreenfootballs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed February 15, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Massive lake of molten carbon the size of Mexico discovered under the US, Trump promises to build a floor
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue February 14, 2017
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
If you've wanted to see a Stark sisters reunion with Arya as a werewolf, you might want to keep an eye on the next X-Men movie. Bonus: Fanart in article of Maisie Williams as Wolfsbane
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 13, 2017
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Les bons temps will indeed rouler as this year's Mardi Gras will feature a float taunting the Falcons for their epic choke
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun February 12, 2017
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Hold my beer. Let's see if I can scare those police officers away with these bottle rockets. Bonus, 11 AM DUI
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat February 11, 2017
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
SB 106 -- The Fark bill: Floridians may soon be able to buy bourbon and bacon in the same place under a bill moving quickly through the state Legislature
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 10, 2017
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Robbie Williams confesses that he smoked a spliff at Buckingham Palace. What he neglects to mention is that the Queen has this gnarly throne-like bong that she passes around when she has musicians over
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Chelsea Clinton tweets out fake news, gets corrected by leftist Snopes. Bonus: Picture of innocent Chelsea
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trumcipal .Caught sayof unpresidented that has Rediculous chocker "See, underreported Denmakr" is He attak Inglish or not. Dana Milbank says yes. Washington Post looking for aBannon -OR- "hello, I am latest honer boner agin"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu February 09, 2017
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Researchers determine why oceans have absorbed so much carbon. Turns out it was a cabal of cetaceans who are trading big time on carbon credits to the detriment of the mollusks, who are pissed
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed February 08, 2017
(Philly Voice)
 
 
 
Come after me you fascist loofa-faced shiatgibbon
source: phillyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
5 things you didn't know about Pabst Blue Ribbon
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Only in Canada can you get pulled over for trying to clear snow from roads with a Zamboni
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue February 07, 2017
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Our President is so respected abroad that even cartoonists in Chinese State Media think it's okay to make fun of him. Bonus: Place him in an iconic Titanic scene, wearing a Nazi band on his arm
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon February 06, 2017
(The Whiskey Reviewer)
 
 
 
Bourbon not from Kentucky, you say? Heresy But these are supposedly the best
source: whiskeyreviewer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Trump hosted the worst Super Bowl party in history, a wedding-like affair with no booze. Bonus: he left before the Pats started their comeback (w/photo)
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Is there any more widely accepted, universally beloved alcohol than bourbon?
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat February 04, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The largest jigsaw puzzle in the world comes in a 42 pound box with its own trolley. Completed, the 32,000 pieces measure 17 x 6 feet. Bonus: it's a collection of Keith Haring images
source: largestpuzzle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this list writer. BONUS: Two angles to choose from
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri February 03, 2017
(Bustle)
 
 
 
Would you like a little ice cream with your bourbon? Ben & Jerry's has got you covered
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu February 02, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
How to get to alpha Centauri in 95 years, with a bonus trip to Proxima 46 years later
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed February 01, 2017
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Haven't seen one of these on Fark in a while so here's the return of mugshot roundup. Come in for number 2, stay for 4,5,12 and 14. Bonus: deslidified for your viewing pleasure
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 30, 2017
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Another MLB player is involved in a deadly car crash. Thankfully, this time the player survived. The dumbass that stole the police cruiser that T-boned him, though...that's another story
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Loosely translated: Trump will be seen as illegitimate until he manages to find the carbonadium synthesizer
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
When garden parties go bad. Six German teens died from possible carbon monoxide poisoning while partying in a garden shed
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 28, 2017
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Berkeley couple killed by their 3-D printer when it leaked carbon monoxide. In other news, 3-D printers produce carbon monoxide that will kill you if it leaks out
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
On this date in 1986, seven astronauts left and "as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of earth' to 'touch the face of God.'
source: timesmachine.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Have you considered the carbon footprint of your emails?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Hunter checks ice thickness with butt of rifle, and since this is Fark you know what happens next. Bonus: hunter's name is Hunter
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 26, 2017
(National Post)
 
 
 
Coach MaBone in trouble after incident with students. With a name like that it's gotta be a sex thing, right?
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alternative Fact: Man loses his man parts while showing off his 'scuba bong'
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 25, 2017
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Watchmaker creates ultralight wristwatch using newly discovered carbon nano-material graphene. And it only costs $980,000
source: watchtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 24, 2017
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
Knockoff bongs may be delivering nothing but fake news to your lungs
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
It begs the question, should you spend your year-end bonus all in one place?
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In an effort to chase away the last remaining fans, NASCAR unveils the new points system. Bonus - it's no longer called "The Chase"
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 22, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tricks to make a bad wine better. Bonus: Article does not use the phrase "life hack"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The new rhetorical frame for all the lies we're going to be subjected to by the White House is "alternative facts." Bonus quote: "There's no way to really quantify crowds" because apparently Kellyanne Conway has never heard of numbers
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(105.9 The Brew)
 
 
 
Al Gore's carbon footprint is shaped like a butt
source: 1059thebrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
What do hemp, tax returns, machine guns, and the emoluments act have in common? They're all brand new additions to the official Trump White House petition website. Bonus: 165k and counting have signed demanding Trump's tax returns be released
source: petitions.whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
"If we can't burn oil, it's not worth very much." A take on the coming pop of the Carbon Bubble
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 19, 2017
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
'Thanks, Obama' Event in DC Today Live Streaming - Join in Applause Across Country - Bonus: Farker's Hula Group is performing a chant/dance for Obama at 4:30pm
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
So, did Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens get into the Baseball Hall of Fame? C'mon are you on drugs?
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
NRO has a sneaking suspicion that maybe Trump hasn't been exactly straightforward about his plan to replace the ACA. Bonus: they are just now realizing he has no plan
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 18, 2017
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Texas lawmaker and potential professional Lord Voldemort Impersonator Tony Tinderholt introduces legislation that would make performing OR getting an abortion in TX, a felony-so bonus, women who have abortions would also lose their right to vote
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know the "Women's March" taking place on January 21? It's gone world wide. There are now 616 of them and over 1 million protesting. Bonus solidarity: There's one in every state in America
source: womensmarch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 17, 2017
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Check out New Zealand's national network of bone banks, or as they're called in America, your mom
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 16, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New study shows that people who work fewer hours are more likely to make more in raises and bonuses than others. Otherwise known as management
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 15, 2017
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The making of Blazing Saddles. Bonus outtakes of Mongo trying to fight a coin-operated sheriff
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Come for the former head of Blackwater's new company bombing Lybia, stay for the bonus connection to the Trump Administration
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 14, 2017
(Jackson Free Press)
 
 
 
Not satisfied with celebrating Robert E. Lee Day on top of MLK day, City of Biloxi renames MLK Day "Great Americans Day." Bonus finger pointing when they're called out on it
source: jacksonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 12, 2017
(Komo)
 
 
 
How not to film Seattle's Space Needle with a drone. Bonus: Drone POV
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 11, 2017
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Hasbro once again shakes up the 8 Monopoly tokens, asks for voting on new suggestions or elimination of current ones. Now is your chance to say good-bye to the top hat (bonus: with photos of all 50 new tokens)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Support for Barry Bonds being elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame is moving the needle
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 10, 2017
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Icelandic airline offering $69 flights from U.S. to Europe. Bonus: Hot pink airplanes
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MoviePilot)
 
 
 
Frank Grillo says Crossbones is going to stay dead
source: moviepilot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 09, 2017
(Medium)
 
 
 
So if sunlight is composed of the full spectrum of colors and prisms are naturally produced by differences between the speed of light in a vacuum and its speed in a medium like an atmosphere, why aren't we living in a giant rainbow, man? *BONG RIP*
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
So, how do you drink a $6000 bottle of Kentucky bourbon, besides VERY slowly?
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 08, 2017
(The Columbian)
 
 
 
Aiden, Adderall most popular baby names. Bonus: best "man on the street" type interviews providing excuses for dumb baby names
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 05, 2017
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Judge denies bond to man who kidnapped estranged wife, who married him after 1st husband was declared dead after he bought life insurance policy from 2nd husband, then disappeared on duck hunt. Confused? You won't be after this episode of "Florida"
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Here are Canada's top-secret plans for when the Queen dies: "The minute a sovereign dies, officials will be immediately issued with black ties and armbands. Black ribbons will be hung on portraits and all fiddle recitals will be cancelled"
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Animal shelter makes corniest video you'll ever see with bonus Sarah McLachlan cover
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 04, 2017
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Of course you want to watch Ken Griffey Jr., Barry Bonds, Deion Sanders and Kenny Lofton compete in a 1990's slam dunk contest
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
How to stop the spread of fake news: "Maybe the news should stop trying so hard to entertain." We're so boned
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
So your surveillance software recognises faces? How about we give it thousands of faces printed on my clothes and see how it copes. Bonus : Actually looks pretty good
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 31, 2016
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Bud Dupree is among the players that got $200 as a bonus for winning the division. What does he do with it? He buys gas station candy
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 29, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
After kicking your buddy's ass to death for stealing your bong, maybe you should check for a pulse before posting his bleeding, lifeless body on Snapchat
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Some men fire guns to stop would-be intruders, others just firewood. Bonus: Mugshot included
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 28, 2016
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
If you thought Cinnabon's Tweet about Carrie Fisher was offensive, look at the Arabic Huffington Post's George Michael obituary, which made him out to be a coke-fueled sexual deviant deserving of death
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Cinnabon apologizes over Carrie Fisher 'best buns' tweet
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 27, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Penguins really like Jellyfish with boners. It's their favorite seafood. The lab experiment that delivered these results must have been fun
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump Twitter whines that the mean media won't report on all of the millions he has given to his charity and all of the great things it has done. If only there were a way for Trump to prove the media wrong. Bonus: Trump spelled "received" wrong
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 25, 2016
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
An unproduced, forgotten Homestar Runner story sees the light of day. Bonus: 20 years later
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Vikings DB ditch their own coach's plan to cover Jordy Nelson because they feel it was a bad one. Jordy went on to grab 145 yards and 2 touchdowns in the first half. Bonus: Zimmer's bad plan led to a 9-yard half from Nelson
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 23, 2016
(USA Today)
 
 
 
President Obama helped revive the economy. So naturally, voters chose the shiatgibbon who plans to undo the progress that has been made
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 22, 2016
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nation's oldest gorilla celebrates milestone birthday. Trump, nation's oldest, orangest shiatgibbon, tweets congratulations
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 21, 2016
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Inside the (real) science of how the Death Star was recreated for Rogue One. Bonus: not a single spoiler -- this is all techie stuff (and cool as hell)
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Big Ben is undergoing repairs so a British school girl offers to say 'Bong' on BBC radio when the chime normally plays -- here's the reply
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Scientists vastly improve strength and lifespan of concrete by adding carbon-free nano-compounds to fill up microscopic voids in the mix. Presumably this trick will also work on cement, because it's exactly the same thing as concrete
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 16, 2016
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Goodbye Cornwall, England, you will be hit by a killer wave that goes by the name "Bone Cruncher" tomorrow. It was nice knowing you
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 14, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dear scientists: Maybe God made Eve from Adam's penis bone. Ever think of that?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NHL gives more details for 100th anniversary season, including a nine-city fan arena tour featuring a museum truck, a Zamboni VR experience, and an opportunity to fight Link Gaetz
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Gizmodo asks the tough questions this season, such as "Why no penis bone?"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Just why shouldn't Ivanka Trump be able to be First Lady, anyway? She's pretty enough, she's smart enough, and goshdarnit, Donald really, really wants to bone her
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 12, 2016
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Here it is, your seasonal tipping guide. Obviously servers and bartenders will get the usual 25-30 percent, but don't forget that cleaners, babysitters, hairdressers, etc. should all be getting the equivalent of one visit's cost as a holiday bonus
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One of you Farkers has been fleeing dates at expensive restaurants, leaving women with the bill. Bonus: compare her profile picture with what she looks like in real life
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
What celebrity does your SO most resemble? Difficulty: SO must be actual person. Bonus for side-by-side pic goodness
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 11, 2016
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Mother of the Year candidate accused of calming a baby with methadone. Apparently, she missed the memo that you're supposed to use bourbon like everyone else
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 10, 2016
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"You can't find a bar in Louisville that's not going to have twenty different bourbons on the back bar. So in that sense, every bar in Louisville is a bourbon bar"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 09, 2016
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sure you walked uphill both ways to get to school, but did you ever go to school when it was bone-crushing minus 53C outside like these Siberian children?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 08, 2016
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Moody's downgrades Italy from spaghetti alla carbonara to Chef Boyardee
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"What an absolutely magical time to be alive. We're so excited, we plan to spend the rest of the afternoon scrolling through their Instagram and lusting over it." Is that about: A) Discovery of Bourbon trees, B) Poopless cats, C) Vegan fried chicken
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 07, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
"And on down in Farkville, they farkied a lot, with gizmos and gadgets and bourbon and scotch. When along came Submitter, all sober and bitter. For he did write the most foulest of letters." THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 06, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prescription prices triple for treatments of rare diseases? *yawn* Prescription prices triple for boner pills? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon December 05, 2016
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
The Empire might be guilty of racially profiling Rogue One star (Bonus: He was the cover photo of the inflight magazine)
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun December 04, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Vets "worried" by dramatic rise in number of drunk pets. Your dog wants bourbon with his steak, and hold the steak
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway attended a lavish costume party dressed as Superwoman. I have the strangest boner right now
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 03, 2016
(I4U)
 
 
 
The biggest source of climate change causing carbon emissions could be a) burning fossil fuels, b) cow farts, or c) dirt
source: i4u.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Pay no attention to the fact that France has shut down 18 nuclear reactors to check if they were built with crappy steel. It's not like France's power grid is important or anything. Bonus: They haven't burned this much coal since the 1980s
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Lawyer sues college student for bad Yelp review, asking $100,000. Judge biatch-slaps lawyer and orders him to pay $26,831 to the pro bono lawyer who defended the student. Tag is for the lawyer that sued
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
They said it was a million dollar wound, but the bail bondsman wasn't buying that
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 01, 2016
(Komo)
 
 
 
Beaver dam does what a beaver dam does and floods a road. It helps the road was sinking anyway but we'll blame the beavers. Bonus beavers behaving badly trifecta in blay
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Water in carbon nanotubes freezes solid when heated to 105C. Equally puzzling is how water enters carbon nanotubes in the first place
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Ivanka Trump's book contains Dickensian descriptions of how she and her brothers were forced to hone their business acumen by fleecing friends and extorting servants. Bonus: The book does not contain an acknowledgments section
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
2010: Nobody beaten by Toronto police during protests. 2016: Nobody allowed to proceed with lawsuit against police. Bonus video of police beating Nobody
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New survey reveals that 69% of Republicans wanted to kill Obamacare in October but now that its an actual possibility and not just tough talk that number has dropped to 52%. Are backbone transplants available through ACA coverage?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
The Vikings' season to Valhalla continues as head coach Mike Zimmer becomes the latest team member to be injured and unable to perform. Bonus: The sole remaining season-starter of the OL joins him
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
2016 World Chess Championship has finally been decided after 19 days, 12 regulation games, 4 rapid tiebreaker games and 86 gallons of coffee (bonus: detailed analysis of last 4 tiebreaker games)
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 30, 2016
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Bud Light goes 'Willy Wonka', find a Golden Can and win Superbowl tickets for 51 years. Bonus: you don't actually have to drink it
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The titular man in the high castle will have monkey strong bowels girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are 40 habits of the world's fittest people, so take a look all of you lazybones
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 29, 2016
(Birth Movies Death)
 
 
 
The very first two MST3K episodes have been found. Bonus: Joel finally found the master tapes and put them up for Kickstarter backers
source: birthmoviesdeath.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 28, 2016
(Action A Go-Go)
 
Video
 
The Philippines answer to James Bond was good with the ladies, did all of his own stunts, and was 2'9 tall. That's even more impressive when you consider the American answer to James Bond uses a computer all day and gets hacked by Russian children
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 26, 2016
(Vulture)
 
 
 
Here's Florence Henderson's final TV performance. A classy lady, right to the end (Bonus; w/Maureen McCormick)
source: vulture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
S&P upgrades Anchorage bond rating from slush to ice
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
James Bond would never have done that. Jason Bourne, maybe
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 25, 2016
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Headline: Top of the flops: Men from Belfast are worst bonkers in UK and Ireland
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Every single Bond movie ranked. Dundedun dun dun dun dundedun dun dun dun dundedun dun dun dun dundedun dun dun dun deDON Do do do
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 23, 2016
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Cement is soaking up carbon dioxide. So, get out there and build a bunch of colosseums, or something
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Signed, Weedlord Bonerhitler
source: anywherebuttarget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 22, 2016
(LA Times)
 
 
 
As you prepare to roast a turkey this year here's a little primer on how yours was raised. Bon Appétit
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PQED)
 
 
 
Molli Bernstein Died this Weekend. A beautiful essay written by a Farker (with bonus philosophy)
source: pqed.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 21, 2016
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
Football is a dangerous profession. There's concussions, torn muscles, torn tendons, broken bones, lung cancer, hypoxia, drug cartels....wait, what?
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 20, 2016
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Researchers conclude Vikings became Raiders due to shortage of single women, huge signing bonuses from Al Davis
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Willie Rogers, Medal of Honor recipient and the oldest surviving member of the original Tuskegee Airmen has slipped the surly bonds of Earth
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fantasy Football Today)
 
 
 
A look inside each Week 11 NFL fantasy matchup, plus the bonus of the Fark Fantasy Football experts standing by to answer all your pressing questions. What more could you want on a Sunday?
source: fftoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 18, 2016
(WA Today (Australia))
 
 
 
Missing Perth man found bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee in Thailand. Oh, that ain't workin'
source: watoday.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
....well it looks like California National Guard soldiers will keep their big bonuses after all
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 17, 2016
(The Local)
 
 
 
Man nets €44k by recycling one bottle. Hell, the pile of empty bourbon bottles outside Drew's office door might be worth enough to pay off the national debt
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver cops unveil 'pot breathalyzer' which if you put the batteries in backwards makes a great bong, man
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Charles Darwin is not known for his cooking skills, but his braising recipe is to die for, and the meat just falls off the bones
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 16, 2016
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you want to mess with your dog's head just give him a bowl of water with the drawing of a cartoon bone at the bottom
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If'n you don't like bourbon, you ain't fer shiat
source: wildturkeybourbon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 15, 2016
(The Sun)
 
 
 
There's a scandal in the Ukraine, as nude pictures emerge of the 24-year-old minister in charge of integrating them into the EU. Bonus: She is HOT and it's (Not Safe for Work)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Bondage club operates near pre-school, church; works as a non-profit
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Trumpflation costs bond markets *Pinkie finger to lips* 1 Trillion Dollars
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 14, 2016
(NHL)
 
 
 
Coolest Cam in the NHL is back. Ref Cams show what it's like to be in the middle of an NHL game with Crosby, Malkin, Anderson and JVR. Bonus: Video has music overlay so you don't have to hear Crosby whining
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
Bon Jovi gets his sixth number one album in the US because literally no other album was sold this week
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 13, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
No, you can't have a giant Burning Man style bonfire on the National Mall because you're upset about the election
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
Maker of Frappuccino bongs ordered to pay Starbucks $500,000 in damages
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 12, 2016
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Obama on the Trans-Pacific Partnership: "Oh well, whatever, nevermind." With bonus caption-worthy Joe Biden photo
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New Zealand build its first penguin-crossing tunnel. The ribbon cutting ceremony is expected to be a black tie affair
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri November 11, 2016
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Next to join the hiatuses which did not happen: Carbon dioxide levels have plateaued because plants like carbon dioxide. Ferns suck
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 10, 2016
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Here's a look at the latest tech police departments are using to end high-speed pursuits: "This stuff is James Bond cool, there's no doubt about it"
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bonus FU to America: Now that Trump has won the election he's gonna launch Trump TV anyway
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chinese tech tycoon cuts his annual salary to 15 cents. Apparently he got the idea from U.S. CEOs and will pretty much just make up for it with a $250 million annual bonus and stock option
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 09, 2016
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump Brexits the world: Asian markets crater, U.S. markets fall, currencies dive, Peso falters, Fear Proxies such as the U.S. dollar, gold and bonds rosey-cheeked and sunny at prospect of battening on the USA's bleaching bones. Thanx, dumbasses
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue November 08, 2016
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Wait, they're releasing a special Deadpool Holiday Edition Blu-Ray, complete with Deadpool in a Christmas sweater? With bonus commentaries and gag reels? DAMMIT SO MUCH all it's missing is a chimichanga
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The absolutely best advertisement this political season. Watch this before you vote today, and you'll be assured of the effectiveness of your democratic process and know that our republic will endure. Bonus a cute redhead
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon November 07, 2016
(News24)
 
 
 
China pledges to cut 18% of its carbon emissions by 2020. Finally the air will be clean enough so that the people can read billboards telling them when air pollution warnings are in effect
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun November 06, 2016
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Chris Boswell's hideous onside kick attempt? It's beautiful when it works. Bonus: Boswell himself made it work
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Couple in skeleton makeup steals cart full of groceries - although from the sound of it, they were just picking up bare bones necessities
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
U.S. corporate cash holdings this year will now reach a staggering $1.77 trillion. Although that balance will drop to almost zero after giving out executives' year end bonus money
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat November 05, 2016
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Barack HUSSEIN Fartbongo Terwilliger Obama finally admits if he watched Fox News, he wouldn't vote for himself, either, which means Sarah Palin is automatically president and 0bama has to watch Supertrain. Man, I'm going to miss these dumb headlines
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo says legal costs could reach $1.7 billion and it will affect quarterly earnings. Especially after handing out year end bonuses to executives for their excellent work
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu November 03, 2016
(Time)
 
 
 
Over 370 prominent economists, Including eight Nobel Laureates: "Don't you even think about voting for that tiny fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shiatgibbon, or the economy will melt to the damn ground." Maybe those pinheads have a point
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed November 02, 2016
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The greatest musician in the world, Bono, named Woman of the Year
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat October 29, 2016
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
It was mega hurricanes 25 miles high. called hypercanes, formed by the giant asteroid that hit the Earth, that actually killed the dinosaurs off. Scary: They could wipe us out, too. Bonus: Helpful photos of tornadoes to illustrate the danger
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
Jon Bon Jovi thinks there is a conspiracy to keep him out of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Yeah, sure, it's a conspiracy, riiiight
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri October 28, 2016
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Purse snatcher in NYC picked the wrong holocaust survivor to fark with. Bonus: Her comments about Trump
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu October 27, 2016
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
'Note to bong-smoking hose thieves'
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Come for the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, stay for the Killer Shrews. BONUS: "Jaws" from James Bond as a caveman
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Wait, Bones is still on?
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Yoenis Cespedes goes full Bonilla
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed October 26, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British intelligence official known as 'C' says James Bond would never get past the first hour of spy screening today
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Combine two regular sports to make an awesome new sport. Bonus: Give the new sport a name
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Secretary of Defense suspends efforts to claw back enlistment bonuses from California National Guard troops. Thanks, Obama
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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