Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Massachusetts governor pulls out ALL CAPS to defend in-state tuition for illegals. Submitter is OUTRAGED and OVERTAXED and has A SORE PINKY FINGER  (bostonherald.com)	(67)

Kevin Smith's submission to "Night of 140 Tweets" featuring his new toy. (Not safe for work)  (youtube.com)

(45)

(Some Ad Man)		Remember how smart you felt when you submitted the headline that read, "[pundit] goes on [news network] and says [something stupid or infuriating]?" Congrats. You're just as gullible as the viewers  (democracynow.org)	(75)
		Whoever said, "There's no harm in asking," clearly never submitted a request under the Indian government's Right to Information Act  (csmonitor.com)	(49)

You taste fat  (physorg.com)

(34)

Two idiots in a fraternity at submitter's Alma Mater allegedly wrapped some kid in TP and set him on fire. What was the stupidest thing you ever did in college? Bonus: look at the smirk on their mugshots  (kentucky.com)

(319)

(SLO Tribune)

Submitter's father worked in the cafeteria to pay for college. Submitter worked computer help desk. These days, kids get jobs counting roadkill  (sanluisobispo.com)

(56)

The meaning behind the lapel pin Coach K always wears. Dust in submitter's eyes almost made him forget that Duke sucks  (sports.espn.go.com)

(29)

		PCWorld finds AT&T has America's fastest 3G network. You submitted this from your iPhone but the connection dropped seven times  (pcworld.com)	(90)
		Scientists say that for men looking at a curvy woman has the same effect on the reward centers of the brain as a hit of drug. Which would make Christina Hendricks the equivalent of ten kilos of uncut China White  (news.yahoo.com)	(67)
(Some Guy)		The state of Texas is trying to build a clone army by submitting newborn blood samples to the Armed Forces' "Forensic Database"  (news.sciencemag.org)	(94)

Gilette raises prices while cutting number of razors in package. Submitter still awaiting razor with 11 blades  (consumerist.com)

(148)

Dear Fark, please help me understand why this video has 52 million views. Love, submitter  (youtube.com)

(60)

(Spinner)		Pearl Jam set to appear on SNL next month to play music from their new album. That reminds the submitter: Who're you gonna vote for in the fall, Clinton, Bush, or Perot?  (spinner.com)	(48)
(White House)		Want President Obama to speak at your high school commencement? 1. Submit an application. 2. Get selected as a finalist. 3. Win public vote. 4. [Something about teleprompters]  (whitehouse.gov)	(119)
		The Pulitzer Prize Board reverses an administrator's earlier objection and permits the National Enquirer to submit their John Edwards coverage for award consideration in two categories  (gawker.com)	(63)

(Digitalspy)

Original 808 State lineup may reform. You submitted this with a more acidic headline  (digitalspy.co.uk)

(18)

Typos earn Google $500 million per year. You submitting this with a grammatically incorrect headline  (newscientist.com)

(42)

(Some Guy)

There are some words under these pics of Christina Hendricks, but who really cares  (nymag.com)

(142)

(KTVI)

Obama administration gives gas station $43,000 to fill tires with nitrogen. Submitter is waiting for his Monster cable stimulus grant to come through  (fox2now.com)

(118)

With Valentine's Day almost here, Vicar urges women parishioners to "be silent" and "submit to your husbands"  (dailymail.co.uk)

(166)

(Some Overweight Guy)

Overweight men have higher chance of surviving a car crash. That's how we roll    (annarbor.com)

(69)

		Palin, Limbaugh go head to head over the use of the "r" word as Limbaugh defends Rahm Emanuel for the slur, submitter's head assplodes  (news.yahoo.com)	(147)
(Some Guy)		Can you trust any hardware made in China? Can you trust Submitter alone with your beer?  (itworld.com)	(45)

About seventy percent of people use the same password at their bank as they do everywhere else on the 'tubes. God, Sex, Money still top three most common passwords? You submitted this with a better Hackers reference  (redtape.msnbc.com)

(266)

Good news for the lardasses -- if you make it to 70 without dying, you're better off than thin people  (labspaces.net)

(24)

		The 2010 America's Cup just took a turn for the awesome as officials throw out the rulebook and allow contestants to submit boats that look like . . . well, something out of 2010  (popsci.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)		This is a Fark headline for the submission  (faultline.org)	(lots)

Study lists unfair credit card companies. Originally submitted the list of fair credit card companies, but the editor refused to publish a blank document  (news.smh.com.au)

(119)

A slideshow on the origins of some popular brandnames. Submitter's favorite: "Australians have worn uggs for decades. Folklore has it the term is short for ugly". You don't say  (abcnews.go.com)

(16)

		Submitter made it to a minute and a half, challenges anyone to do better  (boingboing.net)	(208)
		Deadspin presents photos that suggest Venus Williams went commando. Submitter can't be certain, having stabbed his eyes out (maybe Not safe for work)  (deadspin.com)	(71)
		With Brown's victory, odds of health care reform have been downgraded to somewhere between "Cubs win World Series" and "Submitter gets a girlfriend"    (slate.com)	(404)

		Lisa Edelstein will do a nude scene on "House." Submitter just got an epiphany in his pants  (ausiellofiles.ew.com)	(160)
		Netflix tracks which cities rent which movies more often. Submitter hopes to someday move from a Tyler Perry area to a "Caligula" area  (mentalfloss.com)	(142)

		The face of Jesus appears on some naan bread at India Dining in Esher, Surrey. Or it might be a gob of hair cooked into the bread. Either way, submitter isn't eating there  (metro.co.uk)	(148)
(Hope Springs Eternal)		Newspapers still ahead in local news, says study reported on by an international news agency, published by a newspaper owned by the largest U.S. newspaper conglomerate, and submitted to whatever they're calling Fark these days  (news-leader.com)	(32)

		Natalie Portman avoids sex scenes because of internet creeps like submitter  (telegraph.co.uk)	(158)
		I'm submitting this headline from the dashboard of my Internet-enabled 6000 SUX, and I'm getting a kic..... SCREEEEEEEECH........ **KAWHUMP**  (nytimes.com)	(90)

(Courthouse News)

Judge can't figure out why someone has a problem with his policy of randomly selecting people out of his courtroom and submitting them to an involuntary drug screening. "It's a routine policy of the court"  (courthousenews.com)

(202)

(Some Guy)

New WH rules on reducing amount of classified information includes rule allowing declassified info to become classified if anyone actually submits an FOIA request for it  (ace.mu.nu)

(47)

Scientists: After years of research, we think women's "G-Spot" doesn't actually exist. Submitter (looking up from his porn): The what now?  (timesonline.co.uk)

(474)

Image Mangling Retrospective 2009: Submit a compilation of your 'shops. It's our tradition DIT  (youtube.com)

(93)

(smarter Travel)		Customers submit line-by-line instructions for how airlines can improve their business model. Airlines respond: "We can't hear you over the sound of how awesome we are."  (smartertravel.com)	(79)
(Autosport)		Michael Schumacher's return to F1 is official. You submitted a better headline but team orders dictated that it pull over for this one  (autosport.com)	(69)

Drivers who text are six times more likely to crash. Hah. Smug drivemitter submitted this headline while dr  (news.yahoo.com)

(308)

(Some Guy)

Civic Christmas display takes people back 350 years when Christmas was illegal, featuring burned Christmas trees, impaled robins and severed heads choking on mince pies. Submitter wishes he lived in those times, but now he's off to the mall  (yorkpress.co.uk)

(123)

BlackBerry users dealing with network outage. This submission will greenlight at 1:30, but you won't see it until 6:00  (news.yahoo.com)

(97)

(Some Guy)

Scientists trying to figure how to program battlefield robots to feel guilt. Submitter would suggest putting his mom in charge of raising them  (volokh.com)

(34)

(Future Pundit)

Hourly employees are happier than salaried employees. You would have submitted this with a funnier headline, except you had to drag your exempt ass back to your cubicle to finish those TPS reports  (futurepundit.com)

(146)

		Massive robotic dinosaur is on the loose in Mexico. Submitter can't really think of anything more friggin' awesome than that (pic)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(41)
		Autism seen as asset, not liability, in some jobs and getting greenlit submissions on Fark  (msnbc.msn.com)	(245)

(Some Guy)

Distillers told they can no longer run ads claiming that 'alcohol increases attractiveness.' You would have submitted this with a better headline early Sunday morning, but you were trying to chew your arm off at the time  (viewlondon.co.uk)

(22)

(WTHR)

Indiana schools face an epidemic of "ball tapping." You thought of a better headline, but were too busy crying on the floor in the fetal position to submit it  (wthr.com)

(347)

Brady Quinn is dating Olympic gymnast Alicia Sacramone. With pics of what 21-year-old gymnasts may look like. In unrelated news, submitter has never been so jealous of a relatively ineffective QB in his life  (sportsbybrooks.com)

(101)

Women with a spare tire are more likely to go all whargarbl as they age. As if heart disease, diabetes, and Farkers saying "She sounds fat" weren't bad enough  (physorg.com)

(116)

(Some Guy)

University bars 30+ students from graduating due to their obesity. This headline would have been funnier, but I'm busy trying to explain to my parents why I won't be getting my degree in Communications  (thedailybeast.com)

(153)