It's Not News It's Fark.com

• Fark
• TotalFark
• myFark
• About/FArQ
• Contests
• Store
• Contact Us
• Mobile

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		"All right, pop quiz. Apartment complex, gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to the backdoor. You're thirty feet away... Jack? " source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share:	(42)

Jeffrey Nugent says his brother Ted is crazy, supports the idea of universal background checks for gun owners source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:

(43)

		Playoff Night 18. Just the one, Sens/Pens game 2 @ 7:30E Can the Sens get back to their Hab smokin' form? Will the Pens finally find that "Cup" gear? Will the officiating play a role? Answers and butthurt to the right source: nhl.com   |   share:	(354)
		On today's episode of "this is why we can't have nice things," after the failure of the background check bill, the majority of Americans now want Congress to "move on" source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(191)
		Man who has tattoos scrawled all over his face can't understand why it's so hard to find a job. The Sun is there...on the back of his head source: thesun.co.uk   |   share:	(254)
		For your arguing pleasure, the 100 best NFL quarterbacks of the modern era source: footballnation.com   |   share:	(150)
		Bloomberg has finally done it. He's pissed off his most important backers: Wall Street source: nypost.com   |   share:	(10)
		San Fransisco bacon restaurant must close because neighbors don't like the smell of bacon. The terrorists have won source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share:	(96)
		Smart: Man recently busted for DUI got drunk again but took a cab home. FARK: He passed out in the cab, had no money for the fare and wet his pants. Back to jail source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share:	(20)
		Boy is abducted in China aged five. 23 years later he uses Google maps and his memory to find his way back home to the family who'd given up hope source: scmp.com   |   share:	(49)

		Hockey Playoff Thread #17: Bruins/Rangers game 1 @7:30E & later, Sharks/Kings game 2 @10:00E ...Torres may be watching on the plane back from meeting with The Shanabanman. Will he play Saturday? On the ice or links? Should know by first puck drop source: nhl.com   |   share:	(965)
		Fark Food Thread: Looking back over all you've made, tell us... what recipe do you want to be remembered for? Difficulty: That didn't end in disaster source: fark.com   |   share:	(236)
		Congressional Budget Office says the budget deficit problem is solved for the next ten years. Apparently the Treasury's printer is back in full operational mode again source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(94)
		Sadly, Oscar Mayer's new bacon hot dogs have been designed by committee source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(39)
		AEG considered "pulling the plug" on Michael Jackson's comeback concerts. Conrad Murray: I never got the memo source: cnn.com   |   share:	(5)
		Scientists find water believed to be over 1.5 billion years old hidden in Canadian bedrock, say it could hold ancient bacteria and life. This will end well source: npr.org   |   share:	(53)
		Disney backs down after furor erupted over making Brave princess older and sexier, leaving her young, wild and...um, hey Disney execs, why don't you have a seat over there? source: dailydot.com   |   share:	(126)

		Jets Quarterback David Garrard quits after learning he's a member of the New York Jets source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share:	(41)
		The real losers in the Tesla review debacle are the short-sellers who bet against the company. Won't someone think of the short-sellers? source: businessweek.com   |   share:	(58)
		The parties that saved Iceland after the 2008 economic meltdown were re-elected with nearly 90% of the vote. JUST KIDDING: Voters brought back the very same people that plunged the country into turmoil in the first place source: icelandreview.com   |   share:	(105)
		Muslim imam urges "spiritual warfare" to impose religious values on British government. And by "British" I mean "American" and by "Muslim imam" I mean "Michele Bachmann" source: rawstory.com   |   share:	(158)
		Despite funding cutbacks, college presidents pay now averages $440,000 a year as schools show students that there actually are some good paying jobs with that college degree source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share:	(24)
		Nuclear device falls off the back of a truck somewhere in WV or PA. Police on the lookout for radioactive rednecks or atomic Amish source: jalopnik.com   |   share:	(46)

		Ladies and gentlemen, this is your co-pilot speaking. If you look to the front of the aircraft you'll see the pilot trying to get back into the cockpit. The door is jammed so I'll be landing the plane myself source: perthnow.com.au   |   share:	(76)
		Woman drops purse in Starbucks; gun in purse goes off and shoots woman's friend. If only the friend's purse had had a gun to shoot back with source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(178)
		Kids are soft these days. Back when I was young, my dad used to make me go outside and chose my own pole that he would tie me to for hours source: nbcmiami.com   |   share:	(19)
		Let's check in on the original Back to the Future cast and see if time has flown by source: izismile.com   |   share:	(47)
		And never, ever, get on the back of a motorcycle driven by a moron. Got that? source: liveleak.com   |   share:	(41)
		"Hey, man, let's get some rock from that hill to build our road." "Dude, isn't that like a pyramid or something?" "Dude, shut up and start the backhoe" source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(187)

		Marcus Bachmann can finally find happiness source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(374)
		With one week until Extreme Rules, is Ziggler able to compete? After Lesnar trashed his office, will HHH unleash his inner Terry Tate? Will AJ challenge Kaitlyn for the Divas Belt? Is MizTV back? Find out tonight on RAW (8pm est, 8:15 up north) source: bleacherreport.com   |   share:	(1347)
		Will the Bulls be able to bounce back and control their emotions? Will any Heat player be able to stay on his feet against a stiff breeze? Will the Grizzlies stay undefeated at home? It's tonight's NBA Playoff thread for the 10 fans on Fark source: scores.espn.go.com   |   share:	(83)
		Michelle Bachmann makes dramatic turn around and now will do whatever it takes to legalize gay marriage in Minnesota, as she promises to leave the state forever if it's legalized. Wait, she's against it? She might want to rethink her strategy source: dailycurrant.com   |   share:	(82)
		Trauma surgeon concludes that Stonewall Jackson died from pneumonia in 1863. And you thought your HMO results took a long time in coming back source: utsandiego.com   |   share:	(27)
		Red Sox are finally getting back to their normal form. This is not a repeat of 2004 source: boston.com   |   share:	(35)

		Back when coffee was coffee and men were men source: archive.org   |   share:	(37)
		Four-year-old with cancer gets surprise limo ride. Returns home to find foundation has built sweet custom playground in his backyard. Too bad they didn't clean up the dust source: wtkr.com   |   share:	(24)
		Woman sells video game console on Craigslist. Buyer comes back an hour later wanting to play real life GTA source: wtkr.com   |   share:	(45)
		Siblings busted in giant Frito-Lay heist (and for licking their fingers and going back into the bag) source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share:	(18)
		Oldies acts like Def Leppard are re-recording back catalogs in order to earn higher royalty checks, chase film and TV music buyers who can't afford the original tracks. Unfortunately, Spotify and iTunes users are stuck with the replicas source: slate.com   |   share:	(55)

		Will Denny be able to shake off the rust and back into a win? Will He Who Shall Not BE Named continue his early dominance? Will Smoke find anyone to fight for driving like Smoke? Your NASCAR thread @ Darlington Raceway - Start 6:45pm Eastern source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(609)
		Super Ted, aka the bipedal battler - a feline who lost 2 legs and half his tail in a car accident - has clawed his way back to health and is guaranteed a forever home just in time to enjoy Caturday source: thechronicle.com.au   |   share:	(1041)

		The Fark Quiz is back again to remind you that you only come here to read the headline and make sarcastic comments source: fark.com   |   share:	(52)
		Ariel Castro had a previous history of domestic violence and witness intimidation. It just never turned up in the criminal background checks of school bus drivers source: slate.com   |   share:	(47)
		So you left a corpse in the back of the morgue van when you put it in the garage to fix the tail light? It's not like you'll be sacked or anything source: news.stv.tv   |   share:	(14)
		News: Woman accidentally backs over her daughter, pinning her under the car. FARK: A boys high school basketball team hears the commotion and lift the car up to pull the girl out. Bonus: They saved the girl's life source: kptv.com   |   share:	(84)

(Some Girl)		Not News: Indie Author rewrites her first novel to fix plot holes and structure based on reviewers feedback. News: Instead of making you buy it again, she's offering it for free to people who have already purchased source: howmanyfrogs.com   |   share:	(95)
		So what about those reports the media passed on about the naked girls on leashes in the back yard? Stick them in the file with the "12 dead" in Boston Marathon explosions and anything else CNN said that entire week source: clevelandmagazine.blogspot.com   |   share:	(30)
		Florida State linebacker says he signed under duress, now wants to play for Lane Kiffen instead source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share:	(22)
		Ditka believes in Tebow as a NFL Quarterback. Flutie source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share:	(52)
		Good news: The Hangover 3 is coming out early. Bad news: Jurassic Park 4 is being pushed back source: eonline.com   |   share:	(51)
		Psychic faces backlash for telling mother of Amanda Berry that her daughter was dead back in 2004. She probably should have seen this coming source: guardian.co.uk   |   share:	(149)

		House GOP: "We're going to use the debt limit this summer to get what we want out of Obama." Press: "What is it that you want, exactly?" House GOP: "We'll get back to you" source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(150)
		Yeahhh, about that anti-bacterial nanosilver source: phys.org   |   share:	(30)
		China's CCTV airs Jon Stewart clip trying to insult the USA, has it backfire spectacularly: "At least they are free [in the US] to criticize their president openly on television," source: kotaku.com   |   share:	(60)
		Jeff Flake who said he was for, then voted against, then said he was for, then said he was against, is now saying he's for background checks again. Get this man a new pair of flip-flops, he's wearing these ones out source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(26)
		Buffalo Bills defensive end Mario Williams sues ex-fiancee to get engagement ring back, most likely because he knows it may well be the only ring he'll ever have source: bleacherreport.com   |   share:	(38)
		Why we need to worry about Mark Sanford's comeback source: salon.com   |   share:	(52)
		All Europeans are related if you go back just 1,000 years. In other news, all West Virginians are related if you go back 1,000 days source: cosmiclog.nbcnews.com   |   share:	(34)
		Another day, another record? It's like the economy is bouncing back source: money.cnn.com   |   share:	(21)
		Sammy Davis Jr. Frank Sinatra. Dean Martin.... and Johnny Carson. Did I mention the Count Basie Band? "How does it feel to sit in the back of the bus?" So... what did our generation contribute to music again? source: youtube.com   |   share:	(10)
		Why does the back of your lower leg have the same name as a baby cow? How come the bottom of your foot has the name of a fish? source: mentalfloss.com   |   share:	(20)
		Derrick Rose may make his return in Game 3 on Friday. The game where the coverage swings back to ESPN. Not that you would consider a conspiracy in that timing or anything source: bleacherreport.com   |   share:	(50)

		Very wise 105-year-old woman says the key to a long life is bacon source: rawstory.com   |   share:	(40)
		Talking point: House GOP advances pro-family bill that promotes time off to spend with family. Reality: It's a big business-backed bill that does away with overtime. Back to work serf source: motherjones.com   |   share:	(214)
		Chuck Norris joins Michelle Bachmann in calling for 9/11 prayer day to "crank up the spiritual warfare." Wait, didn't 9/11 start with "spiritual warfare" in the first place? source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(352)
		Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(175)
		Patrick Schwarzenegger gets kicked out of club after threatening DJ "I'll be back" source: nydailynews.com   |   share:	(25)
		Waffle House altercation results in fatal shooting. Now is the time to require background checks for all Waffle House patrons source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share:	(71)
		The Chicago Bulls, or some reasonable facsimile of such drawn from backups and lucky contest winners, defeat the Miami Heat in Game 1. What? source: deadspin.com   |   share:	(85)
		North Korea puts their rocket back in their pocket source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share:	(36)
		News: 4 year old gets raped at school.. Twice... FARK: The 13 year old rapist gets 2 years probation and is allowed back at school source: khou.com   |   share:	(238)

		The guy who was tricked by carnies into wasting all his life savings to get an XBox and failing gets all his money back and a XBox...in exchange for his banana source: kotaku.com   |   share:	(94)
		North Korea is ratcheting back rhetoric again after seeing all those non-nuclear drama-queen states getting all attention source: thehill.com   |   share:	(56)
		Good news: It looks like Assad didn't use chemical weapons. Bad news: It looks like the Al Qaeda-backed rebels did. Which most certainly won't result in them being used on Americans...right? Sarin Spring? source: cnn.com   |   share:	(170)
		Fishermen who have no interests in this themselves want the Humpback Whale to be taken off the endangered species list source: natureworldnews.com   |   share:	(37)

		Raw milk sickens dozens. If only there was some sort of process that could kill all bacteria in milk making it safe to store and drink source: vitals.nbcnews.com   |   share:	(402)
		Sunday, hockey Sunday, as the puck drops back to back to back to back. Isles/Pens (12:00), Wild/Hawks (3:00), Sens/Habs (7:00), and Sharks/Canucks (10:00). It's your Day 6 Stanley Cup Playoffs Discussion Thread source: nhl.com   |   share:	(1298)
		Subby's friend has bred an amazing hog, winning Cochon 555 and featured in NYT and on Colbert. He needs some help to expand his herd. Difficulty: Less than 24 hours to go in the campaign. Powerup: Bacon to kill and die for source: indiegogo.com   |   share:	(12)
		First, the good news: Scientists have found a cure for baldness. Now the bad news: The cure involves extracting your blood, feeding it into a machine, and injecting it back into your scalp source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share:	(103)
		Don't you hate it when you're getting drunk with your buddy and he starts play fighting with you so you start play fighting back and you get him in a playful hold and he playfully passes out and you playfully drop him and he hits his head and dies source: azcentral.com   |   share:	(54)

		NASA launches three smartphones named Alexander, Graham and Bell into orbit and they send back cool pictures of Earth. You still can't take a clear pic of your lunch or get reception in the office bathroom source: wtkr.com   |   share:	(30)
		"How do you find out what the bombers said on the phone before they were suspects?" "No problem. Everyone's phone calls are recorded, so we can go back and find what they said" source: guardian.co.uk   |   share:	(237)
		FDA to decide if antibacterial soap is safe. Of course, once the public controversy starts they'll just try to wash their hands of it source: cbsnews.com   |   share:	(161)

		How to stop a dog from attacking your wife? Bite it back source: omaha.com   |   share:	(64)
		Chewbacca saves woman from motel fire. That does not make sense source: news10.net   |   share:	(23)
(Some Guy)		Sacramento family that took their infant out of Sutter hospital to Kaiser Permanente only to have their child taken by CPS, get their child back by a judge's order, but there's a catch source: fathersandfamilies.org   |   share:	(199)
		Pentagon beefs up its biggest "bunker buster" bomb. Iranian generals seen whistling, slowly backing away from nuclear sites source: upi.com   |   share:	(106)
		Scientists determine fluoride makes bacteria less sticky, saps precious bodily fluids source: upi.com   |   share:	(12)

		Are payphones really making a comeback? Well, Boston likes to think so source: govtech.com   |   share:	(39)
		JC Penney tries to lure customers back with an apology, plus-sized clothing for Leon source: nbcnews.com   |   share:	(34)
		Awesome 80 year old granny does amazing double back flip source: liveleak.com   |   share:	(12)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 417: "Back Alleys and Laneways". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net   |   share:	(69)

		Can Spain come back from a display of German dominance? Real Madrid vs. Borussia Dortmund, then Barcelona vs. Bayern Munich. It's your return leg Champions League thread source: uefa.com   |   share:	(127)
		Are you sitting down? Well, it turns out that the NRA was chiefly responsible for the failure of the background check vote last month source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(96)
		Of the 257 samples of ground turkey, "virtually every one was contaminated with either fecal bacteria, staph, or salmonella" source: grist.org   |   share:	(147)

		George Zimmerman is back in court today to determine whether or not he is going to try and claim his murder of an unarmed teenager was justified source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share:	(466)
		Old couple blasts Iron Maiden to get back at neighbors...probably would have been more successful with Yanni's Live at the Acropolis source: power620.com   |   share:	(96)
		New 70-proof liqueurs - Maple Bacon, Blueberry Pancake and Glazed Donut - prove that breakfast can be served at any time source: nydailynews.com   |   share:	(21)
		'New Girl' is coming back this week and to celebrate, the cast decided to release a song and it's glorious source: youtube.com   |   share:	(51)
		Congratulations Senator Jeff Flake (R-AZ). You get to be the next contestant on "So you think you got away from public backlash for your background check vote" source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(34)
		Video captures would-be victim snatching shotgun from robber. Robber: "Give me my gun back and I'll give you your phone that you dropped." Victim: "How about NO" *whack* source: wwl.com   |   share:	(122)

		98 Degrees is back and creepier than ever source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(22)
		Thousands of people around the world volunteer to go to Mars and never come back. This has potential to be the greatest reality show of all time source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share:	(104)
		Cool: Colorado Rockies call up Nolan Arenado at midnight Saturday from Tucson for Sunday's game vs the D-Backs. Fail: the driver was having trouble staying awake so Arenado's dad drove him to Phoenix source: denverpost.com   |   share:	(14)
		Minor league baseball team to wear Chewbacca-styled jerseys in the greatest Stars Wars/sports crossovers ever source: freep.com   |   share:	(19)
		The team that owns Tim Tebow's CFL rights have said that they would like to sign him. As a back up. To their 41-year-old starter. Who once backed up Kurt Warner. In NFL Europe source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share:	(39)
		"It came in secret and it left in secret." In suitcases, backpacks, and Wal-Mart bags source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(36)
		Senators who voted against the popular expanded background check bill are becoming less popular source: publicpolicypolling.com   |   share:	(250)
		Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon would be much easier if you centered the game around one of the 40 people with more Hollywood connections than Bacon source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(60)

		Just a few years after electing a party that promised to bring back the good ol' days of the 1950s, Brownbackistanis are now yearning for the good ol' days of the 2000s source: npr.org   |   share:	(134)
		What's holding back 3-D printing? I mean, you've been able to get one for the price of a good used car for 2 whole years now, start making those figurines already, losers source: technologyreview.com   |   share:	(128)
		Remember Justin Bieber's pet monkey that had to be quarantined in Germany a few weeks ago? He left it in an isolated cell with a teddy bear and has absolutely no intentions of ever picking it back up. "Mally is lonely" source: thesun.co.uk   |   share:	(69)

		Your next liver biopsy might be performed by hundreds of miniature autonomous ninja throwing star tissue grabbers injected into your body. That is, once scientists can figure out how to get all of them back out source: npr.org   |   share:	(20)
		After the stunning Champions League performances of Bayern and Dortmund, attention returns back to domestic action. Can Leverkusen lock up the last CL spot? Which of six teams will land Europa League places? Your Bundesliga Week 31 thread source: bundesliga.com   |   share:	(11)
		The US DOT wants in-dash devices to be disabled when a car is moving so as not to distract drivers; still no plans to require the kids in the back seat to be quiet source: itworld.com   |   share:	(89)
		Back in 1876, some French guy told an American guy about a plant from India that cured a lady in New England of Dropsy. Hmmm Dropsy wasn't gripped by spell check. Neither was hmmm. Nor was grip, but Bornholm will...damn it source: blogs.westword.com   |   share:	(33)

		If a man offers to sell you gold from the back of his car late at night behind a pizza shop for dirt cheap, it may not really be gold source: cbc.ca   |   share:	(48)
		♫ Chile's... baby-back ribs ♫ source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(106)
		"Hey, what's this big ol' plane part doing crammed in this back alley near the WTC...ohhhh" source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share:	(199)
		Washington state Judge to police: "Give that man his marijuana back, or else" source: thenewstribune.com   |   share:	(189)
		What's America's latest safety plan? A) Background checks for gun owners B) Restrictions on weapons available to the public C) Dress your kids in bulletproof school uniforms source: guardian.co.uk   |   share:	(113)
		A North Carolina lawmaker proposes criminal background checks for: A) Gun owners. B) Bar owners. C) Owners of pit bulls, mastiffs, rottweilers and other large breed dogs source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share:	(127)
		Due to security concerns, Kentucky Derby is banning backpacks, coolers, large purses. Horses told to check their saddles at the gate source: blog.al.com   |   share:	(52)
		South Carolina church tells pupils the Earth is only thousands of years old, dinosaurs lived with man, and how to snap back at anyone who tells them different. Sorry, did I say church? Make that a fourth grade classroom source: snopes.com   |   share:	(464)

(Some Guy)		Arkansas Republicans say that politicians should fear assassination. Refer to Democrats as "bullet backstops". (fourth paragraph) source: nogy.net   |   share:	(60)
		"When the officer confronted the man, he opened the backpack and dumped the fish into the water" source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share:	(19)
		The Jets have concluded six may be the magical number when it comes to quarterbacks; first round pick would get them there. Matt Millen struggles to contain his excitement source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(25)

		The Rent is Too Damn High guy is back with a new rap anthem for the 2013 NYC Mayoral Race source: lite987.com   |   share:	(9)
		Son of former Expos owner says it's a long-shot that the MLB will come back to Montreal, seeing as Youppi is liking his Canadiens gig just fine these days source: montrealgazette.com   |   share:	(16)
		Al Qaeda spokesman to Muslims wanting to attack in the US: go to a gun show and buy an assault rifle. There are no background checks. Oh, and the video was uploaded in 2011 - well before Sandy Hook source: youtube.com   |   share:	(498)
		Scientists discover chillis could hold the key to curing migraines after a large dinner of baby back ribs source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(10)
		Remember back in the good ol' days when Highway Patrol would give lawmakers small plastic sleeves for their driver's license with the word "legislator" stamped on it in case they ever got pulled over? source: pugetsoundblogs.com   |   share:	(40)

		Flashback: The Standells performing their Boston Anthem 'Dirty Water' on the Mike Douglas Show. Go ask your Parents ..... I don't have time to explain this stuff to you source: rollingstone.com   |   share:	(20)
		A guy kicks back a couple of Colt 45 tall boys and suddenly finds himself surrounded by bullet casings, cops and covered in feces. Cue Billy Dee Williams, "It works every time" source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share:	(44)
		The TSA has decided to hold off allowing some pocket knives back on planes. Your shampoo and conditioner is still a credible threat though source: midhudsonnews.com   |   share:	(31)
		Karma manufacturer Fisker fails to make first payment on federally backed loan, expects to be reincarnated as Yugo source: chron.com   |   share:	(43)
		Graham and McCain told to "go back to school and study their constitutional law" source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(73)
		The 2010 BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico was worse than we were led to believe. And we thought back then that it was horrible source: thedailybeast.com   |   share:	(80)
		Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback writes 'Jesus + Mary' on anti-abortion bill, which forces doctors to tell patients about unproven link between cancer and abortion source: opposingviews.com   |   share:	(200)

		"Yeah it sucks I got a divorce five years ago but at least I got my bird back from the marriage" source: abc27.com   |   share:	(41)
		Back in the '60s there was a big scandal in Argentina when a bishop got married. When he was dying in the hospital, his wife became such good friends with the priest ministering to her that he called her every week--until he became Pope Francis source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(70)
		Bitcoins now back above $120, or the equivalent of three acres of FarmVille source: blogs.marketwatch.com   |   share:	(60)
		Man bicycles past a Central Park running race with a timer in his backpack and then pulls out a cellphone when police stop him. What could possibly go wrong? source: nypost.com   |   share:	(95)
		Police arrest man after 30 hour standoff. It was the most exciting thing to happen in Iowa since the Baconfest source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share:	(21)

		Boston bombing suspects' mother was arrested last year for shoplifting from Lord & Taylor department store. But store gets payback--one of their cameras caught her sons along marathon route, helping identify them source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(107)
		Good: Doing something with your kids. Bad: Buying them BB guns and then driving around so they can shoot out car windows from the back seat of your car. Best. Mom. EVAR source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share:	(81)
		Kim Jong Un moves two more missile launchers to coast. Posts ads on craigslist, Indeed and Monster seeking PR agent capable of getting him back in the news source: google.com   |   share:	(92)
		Georgia to test pumping excess water to underground during the wet season and then pumping it back up into the rivers during the dry season. Surely nothing can go wrong source: cbsatlanta.com   |   share:	(69)
		It may not be Caturday anymore, but it's never too late to watch a cat and baby goat play on the stairs while 'Kung-Fu Fighting' plays in the background source: youtube.com   |   share:	(11)

		Chuck Woolery has epic meltdown on Twitter over the religious affiliation of the Marathon Bombers. We'll be back in two and two to see if he's made a hate connection source: salon.com   |   share:	(159)
		How not to pick up 14-year-old girls at the beach: floating on your back in the water with your shorts around your ankles. Especially if you're a 69-year-old man source: mysuncoast.com   |   share:	(35)
		After realizing that getting the funniest man on television to host the 2013 Oscars was a ratings success, producers decide to invite Seth MacFarlane back in hopes he will do the same for the 2014 show source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share:	(81)
		White hat Boston Marathon suspect was friendly, laid back, say ex-high school classmates source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(70)
		Joe Biden wades back into Gun Control morass citing The Office Of Statistics Pulled Out Of Their Asses source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(160)
		Heir to the Anheuser-Busch fortune drops his NRA membership because the group successfully lobbied to defeat the Senate bill that would have expanded background checks source: salon.com   |   share:	(149)
		Sen. Mike Lee (R-eal surprise) voted against a closed-door back room deal (bipartisan agreement) that would have created a gun owner registry (nope) and prohibited firearms sales between relatives (also not true) source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share:	(53)
		Cavs interested in bring back Mike Brown. God hates Cleveland trifecta in play source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(6)

		I'm looking for feedback on my student game. Check out my game trailer source: youtube.com   |   share:	(12)
		Han Solo to Chewbacca: You son of a biatch source: youtube.com   |   share:	(48)
		MSN wants to bring back Heroes, but hopefully not their writing team source: io9.com   |   share:	(71)
		Missouri man requests to be removed from state Senator's email distribution list. Does the Senator: A) remove him from the list, B) convince the man of the value of the newsletter, or C) launch into a back-and-forth worthy of Fark's politics tab? source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(126)
		Dove's new ad campaign involves an FBI sketch artist and women crying about their looks. Sounds like a bachelorette party gone wrong source: eonline.com   |   share:	(78)

		Why can't mammals live without sleep? When did our capacity for, and dependence upon, sleep evolve? Do invertebrates ever nod-off inadvertently? Does bacteria sleep in the same way that humans do? Here comes the CHRRRR-ZZZZZZZZ source: io9.com   |   share:	(63)
		Gun Control background check passes 54-46. Oh wait, did we say pass? How is that filibuster reform working out for ya? source: businessinsider.com   |   share:	(877)
		United look to reduce the magic number to 4, Wigan look to move out of the drop zone, and Chelsea look to get back in CL territory in your midweek EPL thread, because subby was too lazy to make one for yesterday source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(24)
		Witness Patton Oswalt's improvised Parks & Rec Star Wars-themed filibuster: "CHEWBACCA'S SEVERED HEAD" source: avclub.com   |   share:	(69)
		Arizona would like you to hand in your guns so they can sell them back to you please source: news.yahoo.com   |   share:	(181)
		Sharon Osbourne says she won't go back to her husband until he's been clean and sober for months source: tmz.com   |   share:	(31)
		4Chan alleges to have ID'd the Boston Bomber. Or possibly some other poor schmuck with the same bad taste in backpacks source: imgur.com   |   share:	(610)
		Crisis, what crisis? Asia is bouncing back source: neurope.eu   |   share:	(9)
		5 Questions to ask yourself before cutting back or quitting drinking source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share:	(29)

		Leave bad feedback on eBay? That's a suing source: techdirt.com   |   share:	(118)
		Circumcision changes penis bacteria ecosystem, lowers HIV risk. PENIS BACTERIA ECOSYSTEM source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(220)
		Not news: Darrelle Revis reports to Jets workouts. Fark: As a quarterback source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share:	(18)

		The Yankees, Cardinals, A's, and Diamondbacks are charging up this week's MLB Power Rankings and I don't think they had enough time to wave as they passed the Angels plummeting 16 places source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(57)
		The bad news: When it was all said and done Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac needed more than half a TRILLION dollars in aid from the US treasury. The amazing news: Which they will have paid back in full by 2019 source: usnews.com   |   share:	(51)
		CBS CEO Les Moonves took home $62.2 million in pay in 2012. Says he had to give back $40 million to bribe the network to keep his wife Julie Chen as host of "The Talk" source: latimes.com   |   share:	(27)
		Justin Bieber criticized for hoping Anne Frank would have been a Belieber, has decided not to mention how spiffy he thinks it would have been for FDR to be one of his back-up dancers source: todayentertainment.today.com   |   share:	(48)

		With all the bad press in relation to the latest SimCity, let's take a walk back into the past and remember the sheer awesomeness of the original, courtesy of the Museum of Modern Art source: newyorker.com   |   share:	(35)
		For your SHMHC, here is the mighty Dissection (RIP), back when they were so full of life, death source: youtube.com   |   share:	(28)
		It's Sunday at Augusta. Amen Corner live stream at 12:45 ET on masters.com. ESPN coverage starts at 3:00 ET. Back nine drama like no other. The Masters source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(666)
(That's Heavy)		You made a time machine? Out of a De Tomaso Mangusta?? What the Back to the Future time machine would look like if it was made today source: gearpatrol.com   |   share:	(20)
		Dodgers fans splurge on seats behind home plate. They are Arizona Diamondback fans wearing their gear. The Dodgers owner has a problem with this and asks then to change clothes source: deadspin.com   |   share:	(84)

		From our "shiat Congress sneaks through on Friday figuring nobody will read about it" files: Senate/House scale back provisions of STOCK Act, because insider trading is okay when your party does it source: sunlightfoundation.com   |   share:	(35)
		In an unexpected turn of events, two cousins from the family that sold the Boston Globe to the NYT want to buy it back source: boston.com   |   share:	(3)
		CDC: Four out of five Americans were prescribed antibiotics last year. Doctors: We weren't aware that Paris Hilton was back on the dating circuit source: cbsnews.com   |   share:	(57)
		It isn't enough that bedbugs have crawled their way back into our lives. Now we have to worry about "super-lice" that resist normal treatments source: health.yahoo.net   |   share:	(80)
		Disabled pig Chris P. Bacon gets new wheelchair, gives new meaning to the term "Meals on Wheels" source: fox19.com   |   share:	(33)
		Walmart plans on bringing back "Made in America" products, hoping people will pay more for inferior products source: business.time.com   |   share:	(41)
		North Carolina finally passes a background check law. Fark: For people receiving Food Stamps source: addictinginfo.org   |   share:	(529)

		Come on dude, you really want to be known as the guy who went 0-2 with BACHMANN? source: startribune.com   |   share:	(70)
		Many people have called Tim Tebow a lousy NFL quarterback, but few of them know what it means to be a lousy NFL quarterback the way Jeff Garcia does source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(79)
		The '40% of firearms sales are private and unchecked' statistic is outdated. The current reality is that only 3.9% occur at gun shows. Which makes Republican opposition to universal background checks 10 times as stupid source: townhall.com   |   share:	(299)

		ExxonMobil found liable for $236 million in New Hampshire pollution trial. Company claims the amount as excessive, says it will take them more than three hours to make that much money back source: komonews.com   |   share:	(96)
		Humans will not "survive" without escaping Earth, says man who can't escape wheelchair. Whatever dude. NASA is still not going back to the moon source: washington.cbslocal.com   |   share:	(127)
		Heeeeeeeey there Wilbur how ... wait .... hey what are you doing back there? source: oregonlive.com   |   share:	(27)
		Ashes to ashes... dust to rust. This local council is recycling the metal from people's cremated remains to make ROAD SIGNS. Forget being reincarnated as a butterfly - you're coming back as a "Give Way" sign source: thisisbristol.co.uk   |   share:	(20)

		Oops--the turtle is flipped on his back. Those tapes of him and his staff bad-mouthing Ashley Judd also show that he may have used his staff illegally to go after her. Maybe calling the FBI wasn't such a bright idea after all source: motherjones.com   |   share:	(251)
		Smug Massachusetts laughs as backwards Mississippi town sues the gubmnt to take away horrifying wind turbines that are destroying their health. Wait, got those two states switched around; sorry source: bostonherald.com   |   share:	(91)
		The reason why ASU will win the Pac-12 basketball title in 2014 has just announced he's coming back for another year source: azcentral.com   |   share:	(9)
		County utilities department forgets that if you charge people for backflow testing, you should probably perform said tests source: mysuncoast.com   |   share:	(16)

		Hothead who swore to "start killing people" gets to have his guns back since he was angry when he said it source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share:	(300)
		Bad: You're driving along the interstate when something crashes through your windshield and lands in your back seat. Good: Thanksgiving comes early source: northjersey.com   |   share:	(16)
		"Hey Good Lookin'" I'll be back to pick you up later" source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(39)

		Can Michigan bring the NCAA trophy back to the B1G? Will Rick Pitino finally win one for Louisville? Is Kevin Ware resting comfortably? It's YOUR NCAA men's basketball championship thread, LIVE at 9pm Eastern on CBS source: bleacherreport.com   |   share:	(708)
		NYTimes lets the lesser classes in on a secret that the business and education elite have known for years: "Professional conferences" are just employer-sponsored vacations. Back to that stamping machine, Citizen source: travel.nytimes.com   |   share:	(65)
		China isn't naming names, mind you. It merely thinks some nearby nation has been watching too much Game of Thrones, should shut its whore mouth, and go back to Whore Island source: latimes.com   |   share:	(61)
		Two descendants of an Irish king journey to the island he once presided over -- not to re-claim the land, but to conquer the waves. Documentary being made by some friends. Back it and get some sweet art source: kickstarter.com   |   share:	(4)
		Now that Chavez is gone, things are back to normal in Venezuela. Well, except for that whole "vote for me or a centuries-old curse will strike you" thing source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share:	(47)

		Outside of a dog, $500 is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, you have to follow him around and pick what's left of the money out of his poop, piece it back together, then gross out various bank tellers while trying to get fresh bills source: helenair.com   |   share:	(66)
		If a stranger in a back alley tries to sell you 27 cows, no questions asked, please contact the Wapello County sheriff's office source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share:	(35)

		After careful analysis of mass shootings, police advise that members of the public who find themselves in the midst of one should "run away, hide, or fight back." This report was delivered by police spokesmen Capt. Obvious and Detective N.S. Sherlock source: nytimes.com   |   share:	(231)
		Georgia man attempts to make bacon. Fresh bacon. Really, really fresh bacon. Bonus: In front of children source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(63)

(Some Scientist Guy)		Awkward "Stand back, I'm making SCIENCE" stock photography source: jacksofscience.com   |   share:	(49)
		Officer: "I'm going to let you off with a warning this time. Oh, also, here's your pot back" source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share:	(69)
		Kim Jong-Un: A mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a windtalker wrapped in Scooby-Doo episode wrapped in bacon source: hindustantimes.com   |   share:	(175)

		Apple uses huge cash reserve to buy back stock and issue special dividend to repay investors suffering from 38% drop in share price over last 6 months. Just kidding, they're building a space-ship shaped "corporate Shangri-La" HQ instead source: businessweek.com   |   share:	(54)
		'I resented the time my children consumed. Like parasites, they took from me and didn't give back` source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(278)
		It's Muddy Waters' 100th birthday. Here he is with his backing band, a bunch of ham-n-eggers called the Rolling Stones or something source: youtube.com   |   share:	(20)
		Wow: Washington Nationals are only the 13th team since 1900 to open the MLB season with back-to-back shutouts. Meh: Against the Marlins source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(45)

How do you defeat a school voucher bill in a red state? Simply point out that it will benefit Muslim schools and watch the backpedaling break the speed of sound source: rawstory.com   |   share:

(136)

		Good Dog: Helps you rescue a young girl from an icy river. Great Dog: Goes back into the frigid water to pull out a second girl source: edmontonsun.com   |   share:	(71)
		Married owners of AshleyMadison.com defend their service...well to us they do. Behind each other's backs they are using Craigslist source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(197)
		How come no one's talkin' 'bout Colt McCoy becoming Colin Kaepernik's backup in San Francisco? source: cbssports.com   |   share:	(36)
		What do you name a risky pool of assets backed by homeless crack addicts? If you're Goldman Sachs you call it Liberty Harbor Capital LLC. Let freedom ring source: foxbusiness.com   |   share:	(24)
		Genetic throwbacks are utterly adorable source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(20)
		Scientists develop bacteria that metabolize caffeine into E. coli after studying musicians in Portland and Seattle source: upi.com   |   share:	(43)

		Note to the GOP: as you try to pull off a party make-over to appear more cuddly, inclusive, and centrist, and less angry and batshiat crazy; Michele Bachmann is Not Helping source: theweek.com   |   share:	(79)
		Man shoots tree. Tree shoots back source: omaha.com   |   share:	(45)
		Once again, the SWAT team kicks in the front door and back window of a house to capture a murder suspect. Of course they got the wrong house. They had all night surveillance teams on it. Good thing she didn't have a dog source: wtae.com   |   share:	(58)
		In their zeal to get government off our backs and create jobs, North Carolina Republicans push a bill to require extended wait times and mandatory counseling for couples filing for divorce. Small government source: newsobserver.com   |   share:	(174)
		Canadian warship seizes $100 million worth of heroin in the Indian Ocean. Captain figures they can carry it all back to harbor if they toss out the life jackets and a few cases of empties source: cbc.ca   |   share:	(55)

		Not news: Man sues former employer to get his job back. Fark: With the TSA. Total Fark: This is the second time source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share:	(41)
		Bacon mouthwash. Bacon mouthwash; bacon mouthwash. Mouthwash. With bacon. Bacon mouthwash? Yes, bacon mouthwash. IT'S. BACON. MOUTHWASH source: youtube.com   |   share:	(21)

		Is dodgeball a form of bullying? You'll find out - after I finish pegging the emo kids that are trying to hide in the back of the gym source: eagletribune.com   |   share:	(174)
		Chip Kelly changing everything about the Philadelphia Eagles, including the locker room seating chart, which is great, because professional football players just love being treated like they were back in college source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share:	(56)
		Signs things may be getting out of hand on the Korean Peninsula, #67: even Russia says, 'damn, dudes, back it up a notch' source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(300)
		Basically, the Arizona Diamondbacks signed the coolest pitcher in MLB this offseason source: buzzfeed.com   |   share:	(28)
		Justin Timberlake brings middling pop music back source: kinston.com   |   share:	(11)
		TL;DR version of Hollingsworth v. Perry oral arguments. "Are you harshing on my nostalgia?" "I was alive back then, and trust me, I am not feeling particularly nostalgic for the time" source: courtneymilan.tumblr.com   |   share:	(20)
		While New Yorkers are enjoying their 5 ounce sodas and fat-free burgers, they are secretly raising bacon in their apartments source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(21)

		In today's episode of "good things happen to bad people", Powerball lotto winner who is getting $152 Million lump sum, after taxes, owes $29K in back child support source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(394)
		Brooks Brothers comes out for gay marriage, sees its shadow, and jumps back into its closet source: slate.com   |   share:	(20)
		According to a survey I just made up, 9/10 women hate the taste of condoms. But thanks to bacon, this flavor epidemic will soon be a thing of the past source: 1059therock.com   |   share:	(161)
		The problem with female butt shots: why must fighting females assume the same pose and show off their back assets? Feminism, maybe? source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(293)
		Does your chewing gum help your colon bounce right back from surgery? source: reuters.com   |   share:	(12)

		Glenn Beck claims the Muslim Brotherhood is responsible for the Congressional investigation into Michelle Bachmann. STUDY IT OUT, PEOPLE source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share:	(136)
		How much more more fun would the poltics tab be if we regularly saw headlines like "That snollygoster Rand Paul just dropped a money blurt reviving that discredited roorback about Ashley Judd"? source: theweek.com   |   share:	(35)
		PROTIP: When robbing your local convenience store, don't do it while there's fresh snow on the ground and then walk straight back home so the cops need only follow your footprints source: leamingtonobserver.co.uk   |   share:	(16)
		Opponents of wind towers, then: "You'll never generate enough electricity." Power companies, now: "Choke them back We can't handle all this electricity" source: wcax.com   |   share:	(112)
		Notre Dame Cathedral installs new bells for the first time since the 19th century, finally alleviating disfiguring back problems for their bell ringers source: religionnews.com   |   share:	(28)

		Joss Whedon's biggest setbacks. A lesson in how lacking total control over your project gives Hollywood the chance to fark up a completely great idea source: io9.com   |   share:	(120)
		Denny Hamlin has a lower back compression fracture after crash at Fontana. In future news, bounty on Joey Logano collected by 42 anonymous motorists source: usatoday.com   |   share:	(80)
		Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water: Suicide squid bombers source: clickorlando.com   |   share:	(39)
		Ultimate Band Riders: Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake Hire Cigar Rolling Expert for Backstage ''Gentleman's Club'' source: contactmusic.com   |   share:	(64)
		Artificial intelligence expert killed at age 61 by malicious sentient nanobots in his blood, which the University glosses over as "bacteria" source: newscenter.berkeley.edu   |   share:	(12)
		Millennials rank their fave restaurant chains, don't include McDonald's in Top 10 because it's not socially conscious or relevant. MCD to fight back with their Subway buster, the McWrap source: adage.com   |   share:	(131)

		Store upset at customers using it as a showroom is now charging a $5 "Just Looking" fee, which surely won't backfire source: consumerist.com   |   share:	(128)
		Michelle Bachmann is under investigation by the gays and socialists at the Office of Congressional Ethics source: thedailybeast.com   |   share:	(140)
		Actual headline: Quebec man, mangled by boat propeller, pieces his life back together source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share:	(38)
		Pigs strike back as 1,000 dead birds found in Chinese river source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(63)
		Conventional wisdom: US manufacturing is coming back. Reality: no, it isn't source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(84)

Farker vincent_blackshadow is on the mend. Not only has he charmed nurses into stealing bacon for him, they've also turned a blind eye so he could have his first beer since he was admitted to the ICU on Feb 7th. DIT source: i.imgur.com   |   share:

(161)

		Police catch serial lobster thief red-handed. Fun fact: If someone steals a live crustacean from Red Lobster and it's recovered, apparently it goes back in the tank source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share:	(43)
		If you lost your camera and its underwater case while vacationing in Maui five and a half years ago, don't worry - folks in Taiwan totally have your back source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share:	(46)
		A soldier in Afghanistan saves a wounded cat from the battlefield and nurses him back to health.The soldier soon realizes that the bit of compassion and love that cat showed him is what it took to stay strong. Have a dusty Caturday source: kboi2.com   |   share:	(1244)

		"Now we can cut the pie. Obama wants government to keep it all. The GOP wants to give it all back to reduce tax rates. Let's be Solomonic. Divide the revenue in half, 50% to the Treasury for reducing debt, 50% to the citizenry for reducing rates" source: washingtonpost.com   |   share:	(193)
		Wriggling out of deal in Russia has BP greasing investors' palms with $8 billion buyback in shares source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(6)

		Michelle Bachmann: Obamacare "literally kills" people. Translation: it does no such thing source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share:	(199)
		Bacon, ice cream and cheese are all good for you. Excuse me while I die of happiness source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share:	(101)
		Japanese researchers announce breakthrough in breast regeneration therapy, says that breasts can grow back to normal A cups or massive B cups in no time source: inventorspot.com   |   share:	(120)
		Back in my day, "Flogging the Seal" was a fun and harmless teen activity source: cnn.com   |   share:	(95)
		You know the economy's been doing poorly when the country club owes back taxes and might get auctioned off at a tax sale. Hmmm, "Fark Country Club" rolls right off the tongue source: courierpostonline.com   |   share:	(23)
		Pro-tip: When applying for a job do not write a bomb threat on the back of the application source: omaha.com   |   share:	(29)
		A new bill would require government employees be fired if they owe back taxes. Democrats on the committee opposed the bill. Hmm, wonder why? source: dailycaller.com   |   share:	(217)
		On the 10th anniversary of the Iraq war, 53% of Americans say the war was a mistake. The other 47% are still deciding between disaster, debacle or catastrophe source: gallup.com   |   share:	(174)
		Bacon: the perfect food. The BLT: a perfect sandwich made with the perfect food. The PLT: a perfectly disgusting sandwich made with NO NO DON'T SCROLL DOWN source: vice.com   |   share:	(101)
		After admitting five years of austerity has only made everything worse, UK announces they'll turn it all around by giving taxpayer-backed home loans to anyone that can spell their name source: guardian.co.uk   |   share:	(85)
		Don't you hate it when you scratch an itch on your back and find a knife blade that's been buried there for three years? source: thestar.com   |   share:	(51)

		Not news: Camera manufacturer doesn't like product review. News: Sends out DMCA takedown notice. FARK: Citing trademark, not copyright, infringement. UltraFARK: The backtracking statement is even worse source: arstechnica.com   |   share:	(34)
		The House Science, Space and Technology Committee names climate science denier as new chairman. What's next, Michelle Bachmann head of the Intelligence Committee? source: thinkprogress.org   |   share:	(127)
		When CNN reared its ugly head, she bravely turned her tail and fled. Brave, brave, brave, brave Michelle Bachmann source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share:	(177)
		Mark Sanford to face off against Colbert's sister. Thank God I bought stock in Orville Redenbacher source: politico.com   |   share:	(96)

		Baltimore resident finds a novel way to fight back against Ticketmaster's insane fees. He uses the law. Fark: He won source: uproxx.com   |   share:	(182)
		The new Emergency Financial Manager for Detroit owes $16,000 in back taxes and has two liens on his house, which is pretty good for Detroit source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share:	(55)
		Single-take video shot in reverse is just... Well it's backwards and awesome at the same time source: metro.co.uk   |   share:	(32)
		Ending their five-month separation, Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman are back together. "We just realized that NO one else would want either of us. I mean, really. Look at me." said Mr. Devito after the reunion source: omg.yahoo.com   |   share:	(47)
		Farker has just released "Richard Partridge's Hawke's Doom", an over-the-top parody novel detailing the ramifications of traveling back in time to score with Hitler's mother source: amazon.com   |   share:	(9)
		Two weeks ago, a friend of a friend of subby's was murdered in a home invasion. Today, they caught the asshole who did it. It still won't bring her back, but I'm glad her friends and loved ones now have closure source: chicagotribune.com   |   share:	(16)
		Meanwhile, after a bar fight on St. Patty's day: "An autopsy found a skull fraction on the back of (the victim's) head" source: wtae.com   |   share:	(35)
		Bringing a woolly mammoth back from extinction is all fun and games until it's time to figure out who is in charge of cleaning up its poop source: mnn.com   |   share:	(50)
		Thief: "Here is $800 that I stole back in the 1980s. Sorry" source: abc27.com   |   share:	(52)

		New York City's supreme emperor Michael Bloomberg proposes his next bright idea: Make retailers hide tobacco products and displays source: npr.org   |   share:	(374)
		England slated to get six inches, encouraged to lie back and think of itself source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share:	(99)
		Australian scientists hope to bring frog back from extinction. Of course, since Australia is biology's island of misfit toys, it's a frog that swallowed its eggs, and after they hatched, had babies hop out its mouth source: irishtimes.com   |   share:	(28)
		Packers reveal they wanted Jennings back, but low-balled him because they didn't think he'd get a deal with any other team source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(30)
		Old and busted: Once upon a time, Fred Phelps did important civil rights work. New asininess: He was evil back then too. He saw civil-rights litigation as a meal ticket and called his clients "dumb n_____s" source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share:	(48)

		Bears RB Matt Forte not happy with NFL proposal that would ban running backs from lowering their head to initiate contact source: nesn.com   |   share:	(53)
		This week's Mugshot Roundup gets back to basics. Uff da source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share:	(75)
		Four-year-old with cancer surprised with custom backyard playset. With 'damn it's dusty' pics of four-year-old source: wtkr.com   |   share:	(21)
		Leverkusen hosts QPR in a formulation Top 3 grunt, whilst QPR and Freiburg scratch on the door of Dortmund wanting to be let back in to the Aston Villa because they've finished their business. It's your BundEPLsliga inscrutible headline of the day source: uefa.com   |   share:	(12)

		Pedestrians of Miami beware... Donte Stallworth is back, and this time he brought a balloon source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(11)
		If a cop going 75 in a 30 zone with a BAC of 0.14% dies in a wreck, how many motions for reconsideration must the prosecutor file before the judge lets police blame the civilian driver with a BAC of 0.13%? source: lowellsun.com   |   share:	(132)
		Runt of the (kitty) litter Wadsworth celebrates his 27th birthday doing what a cat should on this, his 1,404th Caturday: "He's like a little old man really, he gets up, goes out, comes in, has his food and then goes back to sleep" source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(1310)
		Bacon-shell tacos source: csmonitor.com   |   share:	(37)
		World's worst neighbor threatens to shutter bacon-obsessed restaurant over the smell. Of bacon source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share:	(77)

		The crazy hits just keep coming from the 2013 CPAC convention as next up is Donald Trump who says that we should steal Iraq's oil to "pay ourselves back" for the war and that our country is "a total mess" source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share:	(149)
		Guy who set USS Miami on fire to get some time off gets 17 years time off. Plus, has to pay back $400 million in restitution, which in cigarettes is infinity source: wcsh6.com   |   share:	(149)
		Pause the video at :42. WTF is that in the background? source: youtube.com   |   share:	(109)

		Iron Man celebrates 50 years of being a second-rate Batman. Now we take a look back at the many different armors he's worn over the years source: superherohype.com   |   share:	(80)
		NASA goes back to making plutonium, nuking things from orbit source: news.discovery.com   |   share:	(19)
		Ancient penis-headed worm pushes fossil record back, breakfast up source: io9.com   |   share:	(31)
		Scrambling for programming, NBC brings back the Sing-Off source: deadline.com   |   share:	(36)
		Mikhail Gorbachev at 82: Communist Party reformer, accidental revolutionary, widower, piano ballad crooner source: bbc.co.uk   |   share:	(14)

		Senators say that the NRA is ready to cave on background checks. Anyone felt their hands recently? source: firstread.nbcnews.com   |   share:	(499)
		Ah, there's nothing like a good muddy tug-of-war match... to try to get that 737 back onto the runway source: foxnews.com   |   share:	(6)
		Stephen Baldwin avoids prison time, will pay $350,000 in back taxes. In other news, Stephen Baldwin made enough money to owe $350,000 in taxes source: abcnews.go.com   |   share:	(27)
		A fired-up Lionel Messi inspired Barcelona to a sensational Champions League comeback against AC Milan on Tuesday with two goals in a 4-0 home win to help them reach the quarter-finals source: eitb.com   |   share:	(28)
		Tugboat pushes barge full of oil into gas pipeline. Marvin the Martian finally finds the kaboom. Michael Bay jizzes in his pants. Deep Purple travel back in time, record "Smoke on the Water" source: chron.com   |   share:	(20)
		The coolest backyard solar-powered death ray you'll see today source: npr.org   |   share:	(50)
		Twinkies due back on shelves by summer. Our long national nightmare is over source: fox6now.com   |   share:	(74)

		School finds 12-year-old girl had lunch money in her backpack. Fark: enough for lunch for the rest of her scholastic career source: detroitnews.com   |   share:	(44)
		Remember that never before seen bacteria found by Russian scientists in the frozen lake? About that source: boingboing.net   |   share:	(44)
		If you're going to go wrestle sharks on an Australian beach, you might not want to be out on sick leave back in Britain. Footage of your shenanigans travels across the world quickly source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share:	(79)
		If you're having red-hot sex with the Ukraine's heavily-armed killer dolphins, they'd quite like them back, please source: en.ria.ru   |   share:	(32)
		Morrissey in San Francisco hospital with double pneumonia. Subby on Google trying to find someplace in SF to order bacon bouquet source: sfgate.com   |   share:	(63)
		Man relentlessly mocks professional boxer on Twitter. Boxer finds out where he lives. Hilarious backpedaling ensues source: deadspin.com   |   share:	(53)
		Gabby Giffords' husband buys AR-15 to demonstrate how unobtrusive background checks actually are source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share:	(659)

		Cancer gets back to its regular life, Tim Tebow nominated as Pope, and 49ers put release papers for David Akers wide right: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/3 - 3/9 source: fark.com   |   share:	(4)
		Remember when Matt Barkley ruined his career by coming back to USC and was going to be a 2nd, maybe even 3rd round pick? Yeah, about that source: cbssports.com   |   share:	(171)
		'Fifty Shades' author to publish writing guide. This is like Nickelback offering piano lessons source: usnews.com   |   share:	(61)
		Hey coach, I'm going back in, could you hold my tooth? source: clipnation.com   |   share:	(10)
		German stocks pull back from five-year high. Germans? Forget it, they're rolling source: bloomberg.com   |   share:	(4)
		Twenty beachgoers form human chain to pull young boy back to safety after he gets swept out by a riptide source: stuff.co.nz   |   share:	(16)

		Banana Man is back once again with yet another idiotic screed. Not news: He attacks evolution. News: He attacks "hermaphroditic lowlifes" source: wnd.com   |   share:	(172)
		Kraft joins the NASDAQ 100 on the news that Kraft is TFARK spelled backwards source: marketwatch.com   |   share:	(22)

		Steelers linebacker James Harrison launches himself headfirst into free agency source: espn.go.com   |   share:	(39)
		Wrigley to sell caffeinated chewing gum, still refuse to bring back the old Juicy Fruit campaign recommending you take a sniff, pull it out, and how the taste is gonna move you when you pop it in your mouth source: money.cnn.com   |   share:	(10)
		If you're going to steal an $8,000 coin from a rare coin dealer, make sure you don't return to the shop and try to sell back the coin source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share:	(29)

		Justin Bieber gets all potty mouth with paparazzo, threatens to beat the fark out of him. Good thing his bodyguards were there to hold him back source: latimes.com   |   share:	(59)
		It's not just the lack of real hoverboards that have us pissed. Back To The Future lied about a lot of things, those magic time machine bastards source: io9.com   |   share:	(60)
(Some Guy)		Ever wonder what Rick Springfield would sound like with the Foo Fighters backing him? Ellen brings the answer source: ellentv.com   |   share:	(26)

		While hardliner Jerry Richardson was yelling at fellow owners to "take back our league" during the lockout, his Carolina Panthers made $112 million over the two seasons prior to the lockout source: deadspin.com   |   share:	(40)
		Russians find "new bacteria" in sub-glacial Antarctic lake. What could possibly go wrong? source: news.discovery.com   |   share:	(66)
		Since reforming and re-entering the NFL in 1999, the Cleveland Browns have had 18 different starting quarterbacks. None of them have a winning record with the team source: sportige.com   |   share:	(84)
		Nightmare bacteria invade hospitals in Charleston, SC. Sharks recently seen off the coast use the distraction to call in reinforcements source: postandcourier.com   |   share:	(21)
		Rand Paul filibuster was not only against drones, but also the minimum wage and the 40-hour work week. Get back to work serf source: thinkprogress.org   |   share:	(151)
		Study says eating too much bacon will kill you, but will be worth it a million times over source: guardian.co.uk   |   share:	(52)

		Cleveland is paying families to move back into town. 'We're Not Detroit' just wasn't working source: newsnet5.com   |   share:	(71)
		"Hey. It's me. I picked up the pot, the hash, the mushrooms and the money. It's all in the trunk. Yeah I'm driving over right now. Hold on, I'm being pulled over for using my phone while driving. Call you right back" source: vancouversun.com   |   share:	(44)
<