Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Court says grandmother can be jailed up to six months for "stunt driving" after she went too fast passing a big truck  (thestar.com)	(92)

		Pentagon cyberattack takes down jihadist Internet forum used to plan attacks in Iraq. Unfortunately, it was a covert CIA-Saudi honeypot used to monitor extremists  (washingtonpost.com)	(56)
		Thousands of marauding animals eating their way through the countryside, severely damaging the local ecosystem. Who is responsible for this environmental disaster? Animal activists  (thelocal.de)	(115)

Ex-vegan gives talk to vegans. Do they: c) burn her face with capiscum while the audience cheers?  (sfgate.com)

(322)

Scotland hopes to become the "Saudi Arabia of wave and tidal power," and here are the 4 machines they're counting on to make it happen  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

(31)

		Lost audio of a legendary Led Zeppelin concert was found at a police auction in the trunk of a car. Well, this is a nice surprise  (contactmusic.com)	(32)
		Zac Efron is one of those rare breeds of stars in Hollywood: responsible  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(51)
		Mickey Rourke quits the new Conan movie. Tilda Swinton preparing for her audition  (contactmusic.com)	(54)

"Kick-Ass" debuted at the South by Southwest film festival, and elicited a good audience reaction, you c--ts  (wired.com)

(52)

(Some Jessica)

Proving that they can still play better than all these young whippersnappers with fancy electronics and flashy costumes, The Allman Brothers rock out to a sold-out audience for over three hours  (spinner.com)

(34)

(NME)		Atari Teenage Riot are reforming. Wasn't very hard, all they had to do was crank that drum machine all the way up to 300 bpm again (with audio of new song)  (nme.com)	(51)
		Lost breaks out its Emmy credentials, gives an entire episode to Michael Emerson. Who knew that a desparate, lonely psychopath could evoke so much sympathy from the audience?  (sepinwall.blogspot.com)	(311)
		Kristin Chenoweth auditions for Mars Attacks 2  (tmz.com)	(58)

Dane Cook and the Jonas Brothers auditioned for Captain America roles? That's not even funny to joke about  (slashfilm.com)

(29)

Saudia Arabia is becoming more liberal as Israel is turning more theocratic, writes a credulous Maureen Dowd, who took a break from her research into Moon cheese and monkey fishing to write a column  (nytimes.com)

(105)

(WANE.com)

Is that a sophisticated camera and audio recording system attached to your right shoe and controls for video and audio in your pockets, or are you just happy to see me?  (wane.com)

(120)

We secretly replaced every Boston Celtics player with random members of the audience. Lets see if anyone notices  (usatoday.com)

(19)

Audiences hate modern classical music because their brains cannot cope, not because it's so freaking horrible  (telegraph.co.uk)

(129)

(Some Guy)

Saudi Arabia passes law criminalizing miscarriages. Just kidding, it's legislation passed in Utah and it's now waiting on the governor's signature  (clevelandleader.com)

(209)

(seriouslyomg)

Tonight's Late Late Show will have no monologue, no sketches and no studio audience. In its place will be 1 hour of Craig Ferguson talking to Stephen Fry  (seriouslyomg.com)

(107)

Australia discovers a new weapon in the fight against the marauding cane toads: cat food  (news.com.au)

(96)

		Oscar winners, be advised: the Academy will be limiting you to 45 seconds of tears, pointless rambling, climbing over the audience, one-handed pushups, and declarations of love for your siblings. Make it count  (guardian.co.uk)	(49)
		Apparently, a good-looking ex-kids show TV presenter showing 10 things she can do with a lemon is not an audience-puller  (lep.co.uk)	(78)

		The latest wing nut group warning of the coming 'peak oil' disaster is... Saudi Arabia?  (chron.com)	(56)
		Obama to ask Clinton to ask Saudi Arabia to ask China to pressure Iran on its nuclear program  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(41)

"Inglourious Basterds" may be closing the gap and coming on strong to possibly spoil the "Avatar" vs. "The Hurt Locker" Best Picture talk  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)

(197)

(Some egregious cockup)		Not news: Middle-Eastern countries disagree on something, News: Saudi Arabia, UAE and Bahrain refuse to accept a new Pakistani Diplomat. Fark: Because his name translates as "Biggest Cock" in Arabic  (blog.foreignpolicy.com)	(148)
(rushisaband.com)		Rush rumored to perform in Vancouver Winter Olympics opening ceremony. In other news, ethnic make up of Rush concert audiences unchanged    (rushisaband.com)	(54)

		Leif Garrett auditioning for next season of "Celebrity Rehab"  (mtv.com)	(34)
(Prefix)		Flaming Lips to headline first night of Bonnaroo festival by lulling audience to sleep with their entire version of "Dark Side of the Moon"  (prefixmag.com)	(68)

Steven Tyler to sue Aerosmith if they even plan an audition for a different pair of lips: "Can you imagine the manager of the Rolling Stones calling for the replacement of Mick Jagger? Steven is Aerosmith"  (rollingstone.com)

(38)

		After giving an inspiring State of the Union speech and sitting down with Republicans this week, President Obama goes to a basketball game, takes over analyst duties, and boldly tells the audience that Duke sucks. What can this guy not do?  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(56)
		Oprah held a half hour discussion with her audience after yesterday's show with the Jay Leno interview, and all of the Team Leno crazy cat ladies came out of the woodwork  (tv.gawker.com)	(111)

		Aerosmith to audition Billy Idol as replacement for Steven Tyler  (contactmusic.com)	(36)
		Alice In Chains eschews reality-show, YouTube, or audition routes to find replacement lead singer for new album, simply chooses friend of the band who can sing  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(16)
		David Lynch and Frank Herbert discuss "Dune" back in '83. Surprisingly, Herbert doesn't refer to the movie as an "excruciating piece of s--t" (with audio)  (slashfilm.com)	(95)
(Spinner)		Never before released Jimi Hendrix song: "Valley of Neptunes" available here, just to remind everybody how much rock music sucks these days (audio link in article)  (spinner.ca)	(58)
(Some Gaff)		The story of the fall of Harrison Ford: As one-note as his performances were, audiences seemed never to tire of that note. Until one day, they did  (thedailybeast.com)	(121)

(Can We Watch Ourselves?)		What happens when your live webcast is beset by technical difficulties? An endless loop of annoying-ass audio, that's what  (noob.us)	(25)
		Unbelievable audio and video of air traffic controllers helping a passenger land a twin engine plane after the pilot dies during the flight. Just want to wish you good luck and let you know we're all counting on you  (liveleak.com)	(111)

(Some Spice Boy)		Coming soon to B'way: Spice Girls, the musical. Finally a new audience will be exposed to all of their hit song. This should surely thrill both of their fans  (crainsnewyork.com)	(11)
		Sexy Italian TV presenter called for a handball on David Beckham, reports "It's small"  (dailystar.co.uk)	(47)

Guns n' Roses plays first concert since "Chinese Democracy". The show took twenty years to do, was stopped half way though and started over, and was met with a giant meh from the audience  (rollingstone.com)

(28)

Julio Iglesias tells audience he just hasn't been able to have sex for 15 years ... a line that has gotten him laid every time over the past twenty-five years  (bostonherald.com)

(8)

(Some Guy)

Davy Jones, the 5' 3" 65-year old former Monkees singer, drunkenly challenged his audience to a fight after his performance. Cool. Monkee fight  (dailyitem.com)

(75)

		The studio audience of "Two and a Half Men" said to be very supportive of Charlie Sheen. Then again, as the studio audience of "Two and a Half Men," they are, more likely than not, functionally retarded  (starpulse.com)	(90)
		Steve Forbes rips Ron Paul a new one and derides him as "nuttier than a Jiffy factory" over Audit the Fed Bill. Just kidding, "It seems pretty mild."  (forbes.com)	(45)

		Ethan Hawke says that most movies are "too long" for most modern audiences. Sure, in the case of The Dark Knight that's true, but it's not like everyone has ADD  (contactmusic.com)	(157)
		I'm submitting this headline from the dashboard of my Internet-enabled 6000 SUX, and I'm getting a kic..... SCREEEEEEEECH........ **KAWHUMP**  (nytimes.com)	(90)

(Some Guy)

"Women's Olympic Hockey Team Unveiled." I'm guessing it's not the Saudi team  (ctvolympics.ca)

(28)

		Saudi Arabia shocked that terrorists that have been giving paint and crayons still act like terrorists. Dumbass tag drawn with "Wild Blue Yonder" crayon  (abcnews.go.com)	(55)
		Woman calls police to report her cat is "doing her head in" by playing with string. "It's being going for two hours now. It's an emergency" (with audio goodness)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(114)

Cowboys are auditioning new placekickers, including Sean Suisham. That's right, Dallas wants the Redskins' sloppy seconds  (sports.espn.go.com)

(170)

Trailer for Pixar's "Up," recut with audio from Gran Torino. Get off my lawn  (youtube.com)

(34)

German quartet sensibly and efficiently chased into freezing shipping container by marauding wild pigs in the dead of night  (sfgate.com)

(61)

		Questionable judging turning fans away from sport struggling for audience attention. It's not figure skating. Or gymnastics. Or fencing. Not judo. Not soccer, this time. It's boxing  (sports.yahoo.com)	(95)
		Rowan Atkinson's car catches fire. According to bystanders, Atkinson spent 10 minutes running around the car soundlessly while mugging to imaginary cameras in a particularly unfunny manner  (express.co.uk)	(93)

(NYmag)

David Cross, F---ed Up, Andrew W.K., Yo La Tengo, GZA and Bob Mould cover "Do They Know It's Christmas" without changing any of the words: "God no. The lyrics are tasteless enough as it is" (with audio)  (nymag.com)

(33)

Panel of experts conclude that celebrated saxophonist Lary Ochs does not perform jazz. And by panel of experts, I mean an audience member and a pistol-packing policeman  (telegraph.co.uk)

(7)

(Flavorwire)

It's hard to admit, but what some people thought would be "The Jimmy Fallon Nervous Giggle and Awkward Audience Silence Hour" has actually turned out to be pretty cool  (flavorwire.com)

(92)

IRS audits single mom for being too poor for Seattle, decides her children do not legally exist  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

(224)

(Poynter online)

Drew Curtis: "It's a dedicated audience of really intelligent individuals"  (poynter.org)

(483)

Audio from the Opie & Anthony Show, featuring Jesse Ventura storming out of the studio during a heated debate about America. Contains a barrelful of foul language  (liveleak.com)

(97)

Arab world has stopped applauding Barack Obama, just like Americans have  (online.wsj.com)

(176)

Jay Leno losing audience share to a corporately manufactured TV robot that spits out week-old entertainment material to brain-dead couch potatoes  (breitbart.com)

(64)

Broncos coach Josh McDaniels off-colorfully updates Herman Edwards "You play to win the game" phrase during NFL network telecast (with Not safe for work audio)  (sportsbybrooks.com)

(37)

(Some Thief)		When removing furniture and belongings, you'll appreciate the efficient, professional service of a removal firm. Particularly if you're a burglar and it's not your house  (thisisnottingham.co.uk)	(15)
		You will never find a more wretched hive of dumb and gullibility than an audiophile's house  (gizmodo.com)	(75)

		Peter Jackson says it will take two more years before his audience can say : "Who the heck is Tin-tin?"  (slashfilm.com)	(67)
		Latest threat to disrupt 2010 World Cup in South Africa? Gangs of marauding monkeys that will carjack vistors at stop signs (pic)  (guardian.co.uk)	(23)

		Zac Efron nearly gave up acting after his first audition brought him to tears. Better luck next time, audition  (contactmusic.com)	(8)
		Alice Cooper finds a new way to shock audiences  (3news.co.nz)	(27)

(Some Beavis)

Apparently, MTV thinks there's a big enough audience out there to release Daria: The Complete Series on DVD  (tvshowsondvd.com)

(115)