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Headlines matching 'Ars'
Sat February 11, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo) Stupid I've seen some trolling in my time but when a Yahoo Movie columnist writes that the Star Wars prequels are superior to the original trilogy well that's, that's just his opinion man  (movies.yahoo.com) (99)
(Some Guy) Silly Sci-fi author to adapt upcoming Rush album into a novel. Swears his mind is not for rent  (ultimateclassicrock.com) (56)
(WRCB-TV) Spiffy Small group of poorly funded rebels organize to fight against extremely wealthy and powerful empire to prevent imperialist land grab. And if you think the Star Wars references are just Fark being Fark, think again  (wrcbtv.com) (74)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Emma Watson wears sheer red lace dress to Lancome party. This is relevant to your interests  (dailymail.co.uk) (112)
(Time) Amusing Ten things that are just as annoying about Star Wars: The Phantom Menace now as they were thirteen years ago  (entertainment.time.com) (107)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Fark) Survey If we timewarped back by 2000 years, what job would you be most qualified to do? No, you can't bring any modern tech with you  (fark.com) (779)
(Celebslam) Interesting Reese Witherspoon wears her best "look at me, look at me, look at me" dress. It worked  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (65)
(NPR) Obvious Despite their efforts to convince you otherwise, many "foodies" can't, in a blind taste test, tell white wine from red, pate from dog food, or that the chips they're eating are soggy if you make crunching sounds in their ears  (npr.org) (286)
(Some Guy) Sad It's been five years since Anna Nicole Smith's anus was deemed to be unremarkable   (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com) (38)
(Some Advocate) Obvious Obama LGBT dinner expected to raise a fabulous $1.5 million dollars  (advocate.com) (28)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting List of Germany's best actors, past and present. Wait until Hitler hears about this  (thelocal.de) (26)
(Yahoo) Fail Just like their cars, two Ford execs quit after 25,000 miles  (finance.yahoo.com) (20)
(Washington Post) Amusing George Will nearly fogs up his wire rimmed glasses in a rage: "Republicans who think America is being endangered by "appeasement" and military parsimony have worked that pedal on their organ quite enough" Oh snap  (washingtonpost.com) (60)
(Some Guy) Hero Kathleen Kit is officially the most old school Nintendo gamer of all time...no seriously, she's 100 years old  (gizmowatch.com) (12)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious $5.2b Tappan Zee project gets bids from four qualified contractors, who will keep the $7.1 billion project within its $8.9 billion budget in five years, at which point the $13 billion bridge will cost an estimated $19.6 billion  (blogs.wsj.com) (23)
(Buffalo News) Interesting What would you do with an empty hospital? BTW, the winning idea gets a million dollars  (buffalonews.com) (72)
(College Humor) Followup North Korea reacts to new U.S. marshmallow cannon  (collegehumor.com) (4)
(Wikipedia) Sad The world lost a great comedian 12 years ago today, know what I mean Vern? Bonus: graduated from same high school Drew did  (en.wikipedia.org) (103)
(Time) Hero Movie star tries to enlist in the Army Air Corps. Rejected. He tries again. Same result. He finally gets in, flies dozens of combat missions, rises from private to full colonel in four years. Where's the movie about THAT?  (life.time.com) (99)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Yahoo) Ironic Texas Rangers punish Nelson Cruz for costing them a World Championship by giving him $16 million for two years  (sports.yahoo.com) (37)
(Washington Post) Unlikely North Korea's iconic concrete pyramid, the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, is now covered in mirrored glass and set to open in the spring, only 23 years behind schedule  (washingtonpost.com) (163)
(Boston.com) Spiffy For the first time in over 300 years England once again has a Prince of Wales who is capable of leading a charge of armored cavalry- AIR Cavalry that is  (boston.com) (109)
(USA Today) Spiffy Caesars Entertainment IPO opens. Wall Street: All hail  (usatoday.com) (7)
(The New York Times) PSA Credit Suisse reports firste losse in three yearse  (dealbook.nytimes.com) (4)
(MSNBC) Cool Jobless claims fall to a 4 year low on news that Obama will soon begin pelting the unemployed with marshmallows   (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (177)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Winning: The American public's dependence on the federal government shot up 23% in just two years under President Obama, with 67 million now relying on some federal program  (news.investors.com) (157)
(The Consumerist) Asinine From the "Why Haven't They Been Doing That All Along?" files: Congress introduces legislation to limit levels of lead and arsenic in fruit juice. Next up - Bringing down the levels of broken glass in breakfast cereal  (consumerist.com) (104)
(io9) Spiffy My God, it's full of ANCIENT stars  (io9.com) (25)
(NBC Bay Area) Spiffy You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed  (nbcbayarea.com) (62)
(Wired) Interesting Are robot cars legal? If not, who volunteers to tell them?  (wired.com) (45)
(MSNBC) Spiffy The devastating effects of contraception are on display today, as the teen birth rate and abortion rate have both dropped to their lowest levels in nearly 40 years  (msnbc.msn.com) (243)
(Some Guy) Sad Sprint gained, that's right, Sprint gained a net 1.6 million customers last quarter, the best result in 6 years, giving them their highest subscriber base ever. And Sprint lost 1.3 billion dollars last quarter  (techcrunch.com) (36)
(Washington Post) Stupid American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo?  (washingtonpost.com) (429)
(YouTube) Cool President Obama helps launch a marshmallow across the State Dining Room. SCIENCE  (youtube.com) (131)
(YouTube) Cool Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars, don't let them end. Happy 80th Birthday John Williams  (youtube.com) (38)
(ABC) Video Air Marshals gone wild--what really goes on behind the scenes  (abcnews.go.com) (51)
(Arms and the Law) Spiffy We couldn't get him to eat his own mother, but forcing Rahm Emanuel to write a check to the Second Amendment Foundation is the next best thing. Your tears, Rahm. Let me taste them  (armsandthelaw.com) (166)
(CNN) Cool Think you're a nerd? Think again. This guy created a huge family tree of Middle Earth which took six years  (geekout.blogs.cnn.com) (50)


Tue February 07, 2012
(WTOP) Dumbass Parent of the year can't figure out why failing to get his kids to school 150 times in the past two years is an issue  (wtop.com) (115)
(Yahoo) Caption Caption the President getting tough with a marshmallow cannon  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Fark) Survey Speaking of movies, which new movie do you think you'll see this weekend: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Safe House, The Vow, or Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D  (fark.com) (173)
(Aggrogate) Followup You know what would make that horrible Star Wars trailer better? Death metal  (aggrogate.com) (46)
(silive.com) Asinine Mom is suing New York City and Child Services for NINE HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS  (silive.com) (79)


Mon February 06, 2012
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool "How Star Wars changed my life, altered my view of good and evil, and ensured I'd be a virgin until 30"  (popwatch.ew.com) (66)
(ESPN) Cool Dispirited Arsenal kicks off a desperate claw for fourth place, Suarez returns to Liverpool, with lots of action culminating in a Sunday morning finale between Chelsea and Manchester. It's your weekend EPL thread  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (497)
(Guardian) Weird Millionaires buy sports cars, billionaires buy football teams, mega-billionaires buy climate change  (guardian.co.uk) (106)
(Some Guy) Silly Porn stars, gay men, and serial killers gather for world's first known Mustache Film Festival  (pressherald.com) (30)


Sun February 05, 2012
(Some " guy) Dumbass If you are going to claim that burglars stole your TV and took it out through a window, it's probably a good idea to take some measurements first  (thisissouthdevon.co.uk) (25)
(ESPN) Cool CAN the Giants shock the world again? WILL the Patriots avenge their defeat from four years ago? HOW MANY FARKers will succumb to alcohol poisoning this year? THIS is YOUR Super Bowl XLVI Discussion Thread. (Kickoff @ 6:30 EST on NBC)  (scores.espn.go.com) (3858)
(JSOnline) Obvious Deadbeat homeowner discovered after five years of skipping out on taxes, utilities, lawn care, living  (jsonline.com) (92)
(Fox News) Amusing Enterprising young entrepreneur sells pot brownies to her 8th grade classmates for three dollars per brownie. That's even cheaper than Pepperidge Farms  (foxnews.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Hero Woman receives Facebook friend request from the man who raped her when she was 14 years old. She gets the hero tag for how she handled it  (moxiebird.com) (lots)
(Some Guy) PSA NBC/Universal's detailed TV schedule for Super Bowl Sunday. Or, "when to make a beer run." (hint: "Nick Cannon hosts stars of NBC shows and Universal films on the red carpet")  (channelguidemagblog.com) (26)
(Clarion Ledger) Amusing Boy wears "I Heart Boobies" t-shirt to skate party. Then things get weird  (clarionledger.com) (193)


Sat February 04, 2012
(The Sun) Amusing Beleaguered Arsenal FC boss Arsene Wenger uses Sam Wyche Gambit in front of disgruntled supporters group: 'At least we're not like Liverpool'  (thesun.co.uk) (10)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives its readers a chance to beat the scores of the FARK regulars in The Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy version)  (huffingtonpost.com) (9)
(YouTube) Cool 40 years ago this guy could literally crank out hot lines faster than your mom would fall for them. Bonus: lube was included  (youtube.com) (31)
(Detroit Free Press) Obvious "I can tell you this, We at the Big Ten don't want to be like the SEC-in any way, shape or form." The past six years have made this painfully obvious, Coach  (freep.com) (87)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Because he hasn't said anything stupid for almost 24 hours, Jim Irsay would like to remind everyone that he remains close with...Parson? Patton? Peyote? What was that kid's name again?   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (48)
(MSNBC) Sad Jewish Indiana Jones faces 20 years in prison. He chose...poorly  (msnbc.msn.com) (94)
(Talking Points Memo) Asinine In a shocking and totally unpredictable move, GOP leaders look to renege on the defense limit cuts called for in last years sequester deal. Obama and Democrats flabbergasted   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (121)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Mick Jagger's 16-year-old granddaughter says she's already found 'the one' and wants to get married (with "you'd hit it in two years" pic)  (dailymail.co.uk) (72)
(Bloomberg) Amusing Some Carson City prostitutes are donating their tips to Ron Paul. Just the tips?  (bloomberg.com) (33)
(Some Shoggoth) Followup Group of scientists searching the Antarctic for a lake buried for tens of millions of years suddenly stop responding to colleagues, Miskatonic officials  (globalpost.com) (311)
(Yahoo) Amusing This is why you don't let the inmates print the logos for the side of your police cars  (news.yahoo.com) (142)


Thu February 02, 2012
(Some Guy) Unlikely Red-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned Irish guy wins George Clooney lookalike contest, will be attending the Oscars. Pic of uncanny resemblance included  (videogum.com) (74)
(BusinessWeek) Followup After the earthquake, it appears that waste water dumping in Ohio has become a big fracking deal  (businessweek.com) (43)
(Buzzfeed) Cool A look at how classic cereal boxes have changed over the years. The Lucky Charms Leprechaun was even creepier in 1963 than he is today  (buzzfeed.com) (333)
(Sum Gai) Obvious Chinese restaurant catches fire. Fortunately there were no injuries, as everyone had prepared for such an event by running around their cars at red lights  (woodtv.com) (32)
(Mother Nature Network) Strange How hardcore are bears? They're purposely killing themselves to protest the horror of bile farms  (mnn.com) (203)
(Slate) Stupid So, what happens if Obama wins a second term? "We will sentence [our children] to take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness." Welcome to Derpaggedon  (slate.com) (118)
(WWL) Spiffy Years later, Michael Irvin makes New Orleans Saints fans cry  (wwl.com) (31)


Wed February 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail We must go back in time to 1983 and prevent George Lucas from making any changes to Star Wars. You must bring your own weapon. Safety not guaranteed. (spoilers)  (nerdbastards.com) (83)
(LA Times) Sad Researcher who spent 18 years seeking a cure for Lou Gehrig's Disease dies. Of Lou Gehrig's Disease. Still no cure for Lou Gehrig's Disease  (latimes.com) (68)
(BBC) Cool How did your team do on Transfer Deadline Day? Can Arsenal beat a strong Bolton side at home? Will the Magpies stomp the hapless Rovers? These discussions and more in this bumped EPL thread  (news.bbc.co.uk) (194)
(The Sun) Scary Zookeeper: "Now watch, children, as the barn owl majestically soars over the lion's head and OH MY GOD"  (thesun.co.uk) (178)
(Think Progress) Stupid Constitutional "Scholars" in Washington state proposed a bill that would forbid the state government from using any legal tender other than gold and silver coins. At last, those commemorative 9/11 coins will finally be worth something  (thinkprogress.org) (113)
(Washington Post) Cool After 20 years of drilling, scientists have almost reached a subglacial lake in Antarctica that hasn't seen daylight in 20 million years. Which means great scientific advances or the release of an unstoppable evil from its tomb, hard to say  (washingtonpost.com) (124)


Tue January 31, 2012
(CTV) Followup After hearing some sports cars are being driven dangerously police revoke the license of the next guy they find driving a sports car. Judge finds a flaw in their cunning plan  (ctvbc.ctv.ca) (98)
(Globe and Mail) Unlikely Now that he's 24 years old, is it time for Sidney Crosby to retire?  (theglobeandmail.com) (157)
(MSNBC) Unlikely Study finds women are better at parking than men, but only because other cars on the street flee in terror at their approach  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (31)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Best interview question ever? "When you're doing fight scenes with Ewan McGregor, did you ever start to think about a Star Wars prequel? You know, 'I could punch him in the face now and it would be called an accident'"  (denofgeek.com) (41)
(Mother Nature Network) Strange Alaska gears up for a hostile takeover of Central Park  (mnn.com) (75)


Mon January 30, 2012
(NPR) Asinine Freddie Mac, a company owned by taxpayers that's supposed to make it easier and more affordable to get a home, has bet billions of dollars that homeowners will not be able to refinance their homes  (npr.org) (89)
(Sun Sentinel) Interesting Yoga can make grandma flexible enough that she can get her legs behind her ears again  (sun-sentinel.com) (22)


Sun January 29, 2012
(SeattlePI) Sappy Restaurant owner discovers that over the years, people have tacked more than $10,000 in one-dollar bills to his cafe's walls. Donates 3-grand to the Boy Scouts and the rest to a hospital. Man, did those bills have a lot of dust on them  (seattlepi.com) (73)
(The Sun) Sappy How does a paralyzed man end 19 years of silence? With the phrase: "I love you, ma"  (thesun.co.uk) (43)
(Bleacher Report) Spiffy Will Kane's Libertarian hate or John Cena's constipated face win the day? Will SHOOOOOOOW or Mizark squash Daniel Bryan like so many peas? Who will this years surprise entrants be? It's the 25th Royal Rumble, live on PPV at 8 PM ET  (bleacherreport.com) (2883)
(The New York Times) Strange Over 30 years later, people are still trying to explain Stanley Kubrick's film "The Shining." A new documentary explores a number of crazy theories and the pecan logs who believe them  (nytimes.com) (230)
(ESPN) Misc Will the NFC defeat the AFC again? With a decent team around him, will Cam Newton prove he's the best in the world? Will this game matter? WHAR TEBOW, WHAR? It's the NFC All Stars vs. the AFC All Stars in the Pro Bowl, 7 PM ET on NBC  (scores.espn.go.com) (807)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Sad 150 years after the war, a state struggles to heal the wounds that still cut deep. No, not that state. Aaaand, not that war  (startribune.com) (89)
(Wikipedia) Survey Parking Wars, Cupcake Wars, Storage Wars, etc... What kind of _____ "Wars" show would you want to see?  (en.wikipedia.org) (304)
(Herald Tribune) Florida 55-year-old Florida man claiming Indian descent wears war paint, headdresses, and performs sacred dance ceremonies at heritage festivals across the state. Some Native Americans have a problem with this (w/ pic of alleged Indian)  (heraldtribune.com) (164)


Sat January 28, 2012
(The Atlantic Wire) Strange Newt Gingrich's campaign to show his softer side publishes "Newt with Animals" appears to be going after the I can haz cheese burger vote  (theatlanticwire.com) (139)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Both mayors in attendance at Obama's tarmac greeting in Arizona seem to agree: Governor Jan Brewer is projecting so hard that if you shoved a DVD up her arse and pointed her upwards, you could watch it on the moon   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (263)
(The Raw Story) Asinine Christian leader condemns new Star Wars MMO because it allows gay relationships -- forgetting, of course, that gamers don't have sexual relationships of any kind, gay or straight  (rawstory.com) (414)
(Short List) Cool The 10 best director's cuts. List is incomplete until Garry Marshall's four hour redux of New Year's Eve is released  (shortlist.com) (171)
(swtorpano.com) Cool A stunning collection of high-resolution panoramas from the Star Wars: The Old Republic MMORPG  (swtorpano.com) (119)
(Telegraph) Unlikely In 40 years, people will flock to the palm-fringed beaches of England  (telegraph.co.uk) (72)


Fri January 27, 2012
(Huffington Post) Spiffy According to scientists, some women can store sperm for years. Your mom finds that a little hard to swallow  (huffingtonpost.com) (102)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Three adorable bunnies abandoned because they only have two ears between them. And we all know the ears are the most delicious part  (dailymail.co.uk) (62)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Lenny Kravitz goes on tour for first time in five years, is angry at modern radio for burying him. "Rock radio won't play anything with horns and pop radio won't play any guitars"  (news.bostonherald.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you have $9 million dollars, you too can own Tony Stark's Car from THE AVENGERS movie  (collider.com) (29)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Now there's something you don't see every day: porn stars with their clothes on. Go ahead and look, we won't judge you. (slideshow)  (nydailynews.com) (112)
(Washington Post) Unlikely Obama proposes all states require students to stay in school until they are 18. Alabama immediately objects, fears overcrowding of 5th and 6th grades  (washingtonpost.com) (238)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting Revealed at last: from Roald Dahl to Alfred Hitchcock, the stars who told Queen Elizabeth to piss off  (mirror.co.uk) (31)
(Daily Mail) Interesting If you lost your cat about 200 years ago, good news, someone just found it  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting Rare color photos show Hitler's hidden life of luxury in Berlin and Bavaria. Wait until Hitler hears about this  (mirror.co.uk) (52)
(Breitbart.com) Obvious Don't want to shock you here, but it appears that the new "free" Libya might slightly resemble old "torture" Libya  (breitbart.com) (39)
(TBO) Florida Next up on Storage Wars.... granny  (www2.tbo.com) (44)


Thu January 26, 2012
(Variety) Silly And now for something completely different: Monty Python to reunite in CGI form for new movie that also stars a talking dog named Dennis  (variety.com) (41)
(Pop Matters) Silly Turns out that, just like "Star Wars", Joseph Campbell wrote "Police Academy". Prepare for a special edition where Jar Jar makes wacky noises  (popmatters.com) (29)
(Kotaku) Sad Nintendo expects first annual loss in 30 years  (kotaku.com) (109)
(UPI) Followup That Demi Moore overdose? Turns out it was nitrous oxide. Perhaps she was just rehearsing for her Fast & Furious 6 audition  (upi.com) (79)
(Washington Post) Fail It's been 20 years since your football team has done anything but fail spectacularly, so what's a local paper to do when yet another unreached Superbowl's coming and there's empty column inches to fill? TWENTY YEAR REMINISCENCE  (washingtonpost.com) (61)
(Bitten and Bound) Obvious Rihanna wears her heart on her sleeve and has every waking thought tattooed on her Barbadian bod. (new ink pics)  (bittenandbound.com) (34)
(Fox News) Interesting Memorial service to cap three days of mourning for Joe Paterno at Penn State. Rumor has it that any PSU student not mourning sincerely enough could face harsh penalties, like all 8am classes next semester  (foxnews.com) (164)
(Yahoo) Cool Man challenges 40 friends to spend at least $20 at a local hardware store that has been around since 1857. Things just snowballed from there and the store had their best day in years. This is the way to take back America  (finance.yahoo.com) (82)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing Republication of 'Mein Kampf' stopped in Germany. Wait until Hitler hears about this. Fark: Due to copyright  (thelocal.de) (58)
(The Sun) Sick Girl eats nothing but McDonald's chicken nuggets for 15 years, lives  (thesun.co.uk) (196)


Wed January 25, 2012
(Topless Robot) Silly Fifty years of Doctor Who condensed into ten minutes  (toplessrobot.com) (96)
(Yahoo) Interesting This handy little run-down of top marginal and capital gains tax rates under presidents from FDR to the present might help explain why we used to have money to build roads and fight wars and stuff, and now we don't  (news.yahoo.com) (301)
(AZCentral) Interesting New study finds that neanderthals may have domesticated the dog as long as 30,000 years ago, far earlier than previously thought. Your dog wants mammoth  (azcentral.com) (19)
(Yahoo) Hero Chad Ochocinco does not respond to Twitter follower for two years. Finally responds to fan with a trip to the AFC Championship Game, complete with plane tickets, hotel room, and baptism  (sports.yahoo.com) (43)
(Daily Mail) Cool One of the largest solar storms in years creates the most spectacular northern lights display ever. Why yes, I can see  (dailymail.co.uk) (104)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy 200,000 years ago women were putting on red ochre lipstick and asking whether this cave bear hide gave them mammoth butts  (physorg.com) (11)


Tue January 24, 2012
(The Sun) Strange Italian porn stars to face off in mayoral election. That's one way to cause a rise in the polls (w/ potentially not-safe-for-work pic)  (thesun.co.uk) (74)
(CBS News) Amusing Psst...Ahmed, Look out the window, is the carrier gone? You sure? okay. *clears throat* You western Imperialist dogs had better drop your sanctions against Iran if you want to keep using the Straits of Hormuz  (cbsnews.com) (126)
(MSNBC) Interesting Dog fighting, through the eyes of MSNBC: Michael Vick does it: It's horrific, savage, barbaric, cruel, criminal activity. Afghans do it: They're sharing in a noble tradition that dates back hundreds of years  (worldblog.msnbc.msn.com) (162)
(CNN) Scary Scientists:"So we've run the numbers Tokyo, and you've got about four years before you're destroyed"  (cnn.com) (90)
(Kingsport Times News) PSA Tennessee DOT says I-81 meets safety standards and those cars flying off the highway into your yard are your own problem  (timesnews.net) (55)
(The Register) Obvious Trekkie gets married. Trekkie gets divorced. And that's how his painstaking recreation of his 1 bedroom flat into the Starship Voyager in gets tossed into the doomsday machine  (theregister.co.uk) (52)
(Mental Floss) Interesting Five crazy ways people amused themselves before television. "Dueling for dollars" strangely absent  (mentalfloss.com) (20)
(MSNBC) Sick In two years, Mitt Romney made more money than the median salary will generate in 900 years - on a tax rate of just 13%  (msnbc.msn.com) (701)


Mon January 23, 2012
(Discover) Followup Arsenic and old claims  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (48)
(The New York Times) Spiffy Paul Krugman's glass half-full runneth over in optimism for the first time in three years: "It could be worse"  (nytimes.com) (126)
(Some Foodie) Obvious Seven top food trends for 2012: offal, foraged ingredients, marshmallows, macarons, gluten-free everything, off-grid food trucks, and restaurant gardens  (blogs.vancouversun.com) (109)
(IGN) Cool Some of Nintendo's most awesome commercials from the past 30 years. Yes, it includes the dancing Zelda/Link from Japan  (wii.ign.com) (30)
(Daily Mail) Obvious 28-year-old mother of four banned from every nightclub in town for being "too old to wear skimpy outfits", having a face uglier than a bulldog's arse. With pics so you can judge for yourselves  (dailymail.co.uk) (lots)
(Some Howler) Florida What police cars really need are giant new loud sirens called Howlers. Because the old ones surely weren't loud enough  (bartow.wtsp.com) (96)


Sun January 22, 2012
(Des Moines Register) Silly Iowans upset that they have to wait for up to three years for a hunting permit while celebrities like Bo Jackson can just waltz in and get one whenever they want. Funny who Iowans consider celebrities  (desmoinesregister.com) (92)
(LA Times) Interesting Silent movie "The Artist" wins the Producers Guild Award for Best Picture, starts making noise as the frontrunner for the Oscars  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (76)
(LiveLeak) Scary Just when you've been thinking "Hey, I haven't seen any real good videos yet this winter, of cars sliding and crashing down an icy hill." Behold, cars sliding and crashing down an icy hill in Utah  (liveleak.com) (115)
(Deadspin) Spiffy The amazing soccer weekend continue - U.S. beats Venezuela 1-0 on goal in 97th minute. First win over South American team in 5 years (w/video)  (deadspin.com) (28)
(ESPN) Cool Can the Patriots defeat the Ravens to win their first AFC championship in 4 years? Will the 49ers beat the Giants and cap off an amazing comeback season? It's the NFL Conference Championships thread, games at 3 PM on CBS, 6:30 PM on Fox  (scores.espn.go.com) (lots)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy How many imaginary cards will Mancini wave? Does 'arry fancy a loan? There are eight matches Saturday, but all eyes will be on two huge Sunday fixtures, Arsenal v Man United and Man City v Spurs, in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk) (402)


Sat January 21, 2012
(SeattlePI) Interesting Kenny G's wife files for divorce. After twenty years of marriage she got tired of boring sax  (blog.seattlepi.com) (39)
(The New York Times) Spiffy Two years in, America is on track to meet Obama's goal of doubling exports in five years  (nytimes.com) (145)
(Yahoo) Interesting JFK's hearse for sale in Arizona. YMMV  (news.yahoo.com) (36)
(fraser coast chronicle.com) Caturday Dexter the cat, who was lost and given up for dead more than 4 years ago, has been reunited with his family just in time for Caturday   (frasercoastchronicle.com.au) (780)
(Mental Floss) Stupid The 25 Most Powerful Songs of the Past 25 Years. I couldn't make it past 'Panama'  (mentalfloss.com) (98)


Fri January 20, 2012
(Discover) Scary "And then they might say, well, sure, but that could be coincidence. Then you look them straight in the eye, and you say: 'Nine of the ten hottest years on record have been since 2000'"  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (544)
(Yahoo) Cool Jeff Fisher's mullet commits to playing "home" game in London's Wembley Stadium for three straight years; the 2012 matchup will be Jeff Fisher's mullet vs. the Patriots  (old.news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Pravda) Interesting Russia said fark off to Taliban ten years ago  (english.pravda.ru) (36)
(Daily Kos) Obvious Mitt Romney last night: How dare you say I'm pro-choice, I have an endorsement from a pro-life group. Mitt Romney ten years ago: How dare you say I have an endorsement from a pro-life group, I'm pro-choice  (dailykos.com) (158)
(Short List) Amusing British TV announcers have been deliberately mispronouncing The Simpsons for years. This would never happen with Downton Abbey  (shortlist.com) (32)
(New York Magazine) Stupid Goldman Sachs employees literally in tears upon learning that their reduced bonuses will not buy a small enough violin  (nymag.com) (195)
(Some Guy) Hero Vladimir Putin swears to correct one of Russia's most grievous errors  (zeenews.india.com) (36)


Thu January 19, 2012
(Guardian) Obvious Barack Obama's presidency, three years on - is it time to give up hope? Many one-time believers now say he has no stomach for a fight  (guardian.co.uk) (349)
(Politifact) Unlikely Romney warns the loss of 15 horse-calvary regiments since 1941 has left the nation vulnerable to bands of renegade native americans, hussars, and dragoons  (politifact.com) (234)
(ESPN) Hero 10 years ago today either the Patriots dynasty was born or you watched the Raiders get jobbed by the NFL in the worst way imaginable, depending on where you live. Happy 10th anniversary to the Tuck Rule game  (espn.go.com) (274)
(Guardian) Followup Years from now, when your kids ask you what a "Kodak" was, you can show them this slide show. On your iPhone  (guardian.co.uk) (27)
(New York Daily News) Sad Violinist on the Costa Concordia disapears when attempting to relive one of the last scenes of Titanic. Gentlemen, it's been an honor  (nydailynews.com) (52)
(YouTube) Spiffy Been asleep the last 100 years? This will get you caught up on what you missed  (youtube.com) (28)
(The Register) Interesting Ancient find shows people have been bringing popcorn to arguments 1,000 years longer than previously thought  (theregister.co.uk) (3)
(NewsBusters) Dumbass Andrew Sullivan claims that tax rates are at 50 year lows, which is true provided you ignore the past 50 years of data. Why are Obama's cheerleaders so dumb?  (newsbusters.org) (165)
(ABC) Sad The mysterious man who came upon midnights clear and dreary for seventy years to toast at the grave of Edgar Allen Poe on his birthday, it appears, shall come nevermore  (abcnews.go.com) (47)
(MSNBC) Interesting Average age of U.S. autos now two years older than length of average marriage. As expected, both eventually will be replaced with newer models having less mileage  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (128)
(CNN) Interesting 13 years, 252 games. The longest winning streak in college sports is over  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (54)
(Some Half Naked Chick) Amusing Apparently, the idea of posing for pics with half-naked chicks on the top of police cars hasn't gotten old for policemen in California  (wtsp.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Fail An Infographic demonstrating how, for over 100 years, the entertainment industry has always called every innovation "dangerous," always tried to kill or regulate it, and always been totally and utterly wrong  (addictinginfo.org) (38)


Wed January 18, 2012
(Fark) Dumbass In 2007 I got boobies in thread # 306557 and still don't know what the hell boobies is. I'm going on five years, can someone explain what boobies is? Tag's for me ;)  (fark.com) (202)
(ABC) Interesting ABC News discovers millions of Romney's dollars in Cayman Islands accounts tied to a P.O. box there  (abcnews.go.com) (395)
(io9) Interesting The producers of Farscape are making a Firefly-esque space-western with an MMO tie-in for Syfy. It was cancelled before they even finished the announcement  (io9.com) (75)
(YouTube) Video New Volkswagen Star Wars commercial will have you howling for joy  (youtube.com) (47)
(Fark) Fail Nine years on Fark and not a single greenlight. How much bourbon do I have to send these guys?  (fark.com) (58)
(SLTrib) Asinine Religious leaders sign letter opposing gay marriage because if it were legal, they'd be seen "as bigots, subjecting them to the full arsenal of government punishments and pressures reserved for racists"  (sltrib.com) (143)
(Science Daily) Strange Some young stars may be much older than previously thought. The opposite could be said of Lindsay Lohan  (sciencedaily.com) (8)
(PANDACAM) Cool Since Drew is greenlighting any old thing until the whiskey wears off, I give you - PANDACAM The San Diego Zoo's webcam of these enchanting creatures oh just click the damn link already  (sandiegozoo.org) (3)
(Yahoo) Obvious Mitt Romney is a kind and generous soul who has been giving millions of dollars per year to one particular charity. And that "charity" is a certain church known for its magic underwear, golden tablets, and talking rocks  (news.yahoo.com) (164)
(Discovery) Cool Astronomers aim to achieve what pornographers have been doing for years  (news.discovery.com) (20)
(3 News New Zealand) Dumbass Lady Gaga claims to have invented 'avant-garde techno rock'. Only 35 years after Devo did it, close enough  (3news.co.nz) (84)
(Reuters) Spiffy Don't call it a comeback, he's been here for years  (reuters.com) (9)
(Fark) Survey If SOPA was from Star Wars and PIPA was from Star Trek, and the two somehow had a battle in space, would you still be a virgin?  (fark.com) (137)
(ABC) Followup 3,500 year old cypress tree was destroyed by lightning, not arson. Where's your God now?  (abcnews.go.com) (30)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Study finds that the US economy is losing its competitive edge, citing complex taxes, ineffective politics and lagging schools. Fortunately, US still strongly in first place in political theater and generating annoying reality TV stars  (chicagotribune.com) (177)
(Some Guy) Interesting Ive been a Farker for almost 10 years and have never gotten one damn greenlight...so here's the BattleTech Wiki  (sarna.net) (152)
(UPI) Obvious Crude oil back over $100/barrel on news of Britney Spears sex book  (upi.com) (13)
(The Sun) Interesting Upcoming tell-all book claims Britney Spears had wild lesbian orgies with her dancing girls while on tour, just like in your fantasies  (thesun.co.uk) (51)
(New York Daily News) Asinine TSA apologizes for strip searching elderly women...also, ugly women, men, women with small boobs, people with hideous disfiguring scars, and pets  (nydailynews.com) (16)


Tue January 17, 2012
(Telegraph) Cool Last July, a piece of Mars fell on Morocco  (telegraph.co.uk) (14)
(ESPN) Stupid Arsenal spot talent in their star striker Robin Van Persie's 5 year old son, attempt to sign him to a long term contract. No, seriously  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (23)
(YouTube) Cool Your childhood has just been obliterated forever. Super Slot Cars  (youtube.com) (44)
(Fox News) Scary Charter jet carrying the Detroit Pistons sends out a distress call, GM Joe Dumars considers the same action for the season  (foxnews.com) (25)
(Washington Post) Dumbass Recent study isolates the cause of the vast wealth inequity that exists in America today. I won't name names here, but let's just say he had a thing for starting wars in the desert and dressing up in flight suits  (washingtonpost.com) (270)


Mon January 16, 2012
(SLO Tribune) Spiffy More than 70 years after William Randolph Hearst tried to nip "Citizen Kane" in the rosebud, the classic film is to be screened for the public one more time - at Hearst Castle  (sanluisobispo.com) (67)
(Guardian) Dumbass Politician forced to resign after creating Downfall parody attacking opponent. Wait until Hitler hears about this  (guardian.co.uk) (86)
(Oregon Live) Amusing Small town community spends eight years raising funds to build a park, only to discover patrons of a nearby strip club are allowed to park in its parking lot  (oregonlive.com) (201)
(Some Guy) Sad Smoking kills Senator. At 3,500 years old  (cfnews13.com) (133)
(SeattlePI) Weird Japan Airlines debuts Hello Kitty Boeing 777 airplane. Subby fears the day they put the Viper GTS Plane into service  (seattlepi.com) (33)
(BBC) Asinine Twenty top predictions for life 100 years from now - strange... no mention of anyone assuming control  (bbc.co.uk) (152)
(The Daily Beast) Interesting Andrew Sullivan clears away the bullshiat and concludes that the Left is wrong, the Right is wrong, Obama is right, and he will be reelected  (thedailybeast.com) (322)
(Abc.net.au) Cool In 1911, explorer Douglas Mawson launched an expedition to explore Antarctica and nearly didn't make it back alive. 100 years later, another Australia team went back to Mawson's encampment. This is what they found  (blogs.abc.net.au) (32)


Sun January 15, 2012
(YouTube) Cool This week's SHMHC features Profanity from Matriarch, an all female band from Puerto Rico with one of the most interesting vocal approaches I've heard in years. Giggity  (youtube.com) (64)
(YouTube) Cool 40 years ago today, the #1 song had Americans singing about driving their Chevy to the levee  (youtube.com) (174)
(SLTrib) Dumbass Utah's top law enforcement officer accused of plagiariz...er, stealing intellectual property in support of SOPA. Damages estimated at about 28 billion dollars by MPAA/RIAA mathematicians  (sltrib.com) (46)


Sat January 14, 2012
(Gizmodo) Interesting NASA image showing every tree in the U.S.. Kinda sparse there in the middle  (gizmodo.com) (97)
(Yahoo) Scary If you would like a Russian Mars probe, this weekend could be your unlucky day  (news.yahoo.com) (25)


Fri January 13, 2012
(io9) Cool The breakdown of the budget for Star Wars in 1977. Inflation is a biatch  (io9.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Stupid We all know it can be a chore to check how well your handgun has held up over the years, but walking around a densely populated urban area randomly firing your .38 is cutting a few too many corners  (today.seattletimes.com) (23)
(Some Nanny) Asinine Couple clears weeds and trash from public land near their home. Does the city a) thank them b) reward them or c) tell them to buy a license for the work or put the weeds back?  (mailonsunday.co.uk) (111)
(The Consumerist) Florida Owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars says you're not a true fan unless you hold season tickets  (consumerist.com) (71)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta reunited 34 years after starring together in Grease. In the interim, she's lost her boobies and he's grown some  (dailymail.co.uk) (63)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary US warning of terror threat in Bangkok, believe it could happen anywhere, be it bars, temples, or 'massage parlors, even chess matches  (chicagotribune.com) (64)
(The Truth About Cars) Scary Not News: People are stealing cars. News: Car thieves are getting more technologically sophisticated. FARK: They can steal it while you're farking driving it  (thetruthaboutcars.com) (33)
(ABC) Fail Pirates In Outboard Skiff:0 Spanish Warship:1  (abcnews.go.com) (142)
(Reuters) Obvious Japan's sixth prime minister in the last five years shuffles cabinet, deck chairs  (reuters.com) (7)
(CBC) Unlikely It's Friday the 13th, a day in which close to one billion dollars is lost from people missing work because too scared to leave their homes, losses to airlines from fear of flying, and mirror breakage  (cbc.ca) (94)
(Some Guy) Obvious 50-year-old news anchor with more than 20 years experience is shocked to discover she's being replaced by her 26-year-old female co-anchor  (bismarcktribune.com) (88)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Liverpool FC fans get the NIAC vibe after spotting Sami Nasri on the way home from City's 1-0 loss to Liverpool: "How do you like that you f****** Arsenal reject" (video, Not safe for work language)  (dailymail.co.uk) (26)


Thu January 12, 2012
(Washington Post) Sad Thirty years ago, an unlucky group of airline passengers went swimming in the Potomac River instead of Florida. Here's why all of aviation is now safer for it  (washingtonpost.com) (102)
(Ars Technica) Asinine And somewhere in the MPAA's headquarters, a decision was made to move Ars Technica to the front of the line for an ICE domain name seizure  (arstechnica.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Interesting Coming energy wars mean Americans are likely to discover where the South China Sea and the Caspian are in the next few years  (tomdispatch.com) (68)
(Some Guy) Obvious Meet the Contenders for Earliest Modern Human, created 6,000 years ago  (blogs.smithsonianmag.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Misc God bless topless bars...and women  (thebradentontimes.com) (412)
(Some Guy) Sad Kathleen Edward, the Michigan girl who was taunted by her neighbor, passes away at nine years old  (detroit.cbslocal.com) (311)
(The New York Times) Sad The latest simple snack to be ruined by foodie hipsters: the marshmallow   (tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com) (197)
(Daily Mail) Asinine "Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less" (photos moderately Not safe for work)  (dailymail.co.uk) (74)


Wed January 11, 2012
(SeattlePI) Amusing Arrogant Amazon employees not making friends near shiny new Seattle campus. "Do you not realize that you are working for an updated version of Sears and Roebuck so you should check yourself?"  (blog.seattlepi.com) (40)
(NPR) Amusing In the history of Nerd fights there are the greats like Star Trek vs. Star Wars. TNG vs TOS. Now a challenger appears: crossword nerds argue over the defintions of hip hop slang terms. That's wack yo  (npr.org) (23)
(Ars Technica) Obvious London's burglars are so posh, they won't even bother with CDs or DVDs  (arstechnica.com) (25)
(MSNBC) Misc Our long national nightmare is finally over as Southern Indiana limestone workers end their strike. Finally, we can buy some fresh limestone again. Build limestone houses and furniture. Drive limestone cars  (msnbc.msn.com) (51)
(Life.com) Interesting Rare color photographs from Germany in the 1930s discovered, but inept film developer appears to have emphasized almost exclusively black, red, and white in all the shots. Some people can't get anything reich  (life.com) (75)
(Daily Mail) Scary Begun, the Squid Wars have  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Boing Boing) Cool Want Spock ears but don't want to commit to body modification surgery? Knit long and prosper  (boingboing.net) (8)
(CNN) Amusing When you're the Jacksonville Jaguars and you have a head coaching vacancy, of course you'd watch the first 2-points-only playoff performance and hire the beautiful mind responsible for it  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (54)


Tue January 10, 2012
(The New York Times) Sad "America's detention camp at Guantánamo Bay will have been open for 10 years. For seven of them, I was held there without explanation or charge. During that time my daughters grew up without me"  (nytimes.com) (268)
(Some Guy) Interesting The king of beers downgraded to prince of beers after 20 years on the throne  (chicagobusiness.com) (40)
(SFGate) Dumbass Wells Fargo-hating "skateboard bandit" gets eight years in pound-me-in-the-thrash prison  (blog.sfgate.com) (41)


Mon January 09, 2012
(ESPN) Spiffy Thierry Henry nets the game winner as it's 1-nil to the Arsenal. No, this is not a repeat  (espn.go.com) (43)
(Talking Points Memo) Unlikely Mitt Romney never wanted to run for President, which is why he has been doing it for the last seven years  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (70)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail A $45-million Homeland Security program that wastes taxpayers' dollars and fails to make a single citizen more secure? How can that be?  (suntimes.com) (84)
(NFL.com) Followup O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore wilt thou be for the next three years? A: Kansas City  (nfl.com) (38)
(AP) Interesting New England Journal of Medicine celebrates 200 years of publishing key advances like anesthesia, cancer surgery, germ theory, Nazi eugenics, and organ transplants  (lowellsun.com) (46)
(TorrentFreak) Dumbass The Missionary Church of Kopimism (file sharing) is now recognized as an official religion in Sweden. A Catholic bishop has just labeled it "farcical" since it has no God. Wait until this guy hears about Buddhism  (torrentfreak.com) (114)
(Local10) Florida How to dress for success in Florida: Man wears "how to cook crack" shirt to court appearance on drug charges  (local10.com) (33)
(Daily Mail) Interesting It only took 60 years, but details finally emerge on how Queen Elizabeth II came to power  (dailymail.co.uk) (70)
(The Local (Sweden)) Obvious "The Butthole", "Deep Arse", "Snot Bog", "Meat Lake", and "Piss Mountain". These are all fantastic names for towns  (thelocal.se) (46)
(Nuke The Fridge) Hero Two-fisted hero of viral video "Star Wars Nerd vs. Punk" bounces back from Stage 3 brain cancer, seeks tax-deductible donations to run Disney World marathon. Still no cure for Han firing first  (nukethefridge.com) (93)


Sun January 08, 2012
(C|Net) Scary French say there's absolutely no reason to worry about huge Airbus A380 planes having cracks in their wings, after only a few years of service. DE PANIQUE TOUT LE MONDE  (news.cnet.com) (148)
(Newsarama) Cool The ten best-selling single comic book issues of the past ten years  (newsarama.com) (67)
(UPI) Fail Moody's downgrades Illinois from Bears to Cubs  (upi.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Followup Answer: this law was one of the tenets of justice for 800 years in the UK before it was repealed in 2003  (news.sky.com) (71)
(Daily Mail) Cool Tina Fey's post-pregnancy workout now includes smashing cars on the Letterman show  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)


Sat January 07, 2012
(CNN) Weird Condition of victim of John Wayne Gacy, murdered 35 years ago, recently upgraded to 'alive'  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (95)
(BBC) Spiffy Mae Jemison, America's first black female astronaut and famed for her cameo on ST:TNG, named to head DARPA's 100-year starship project  (bbc.co.uk) (65)
(PhysOrg.com) Obvious Automotive engineers have considerably improved the efficiency of car engines over the last 30 years, but almost all of those gains have been eaten up by making bigger and heavier cars. Minivan, pickup, and SUV drivers, we're looking at you  (physorg.com) (177)
(Some Guy) Spiffy 63 years ago, a broke student was handed an envelope with $200 in to finish school, and was told to pay it forward once he was able to. Now, he's giving back $1000000  (winnipegfreepress.com) (84)
(YouTube) Cool Good God...David Bowie is 65??? Here he is with his Spiders From Mars on the BBC from 1973...LIVE and not seen in 39 years...The Jean Genie  (youtube.com) (50)
(Boston Herald) Ironic Elizabeth Warren, our famed champion against the evil corporations, has taken in 40 million from corporations in the last 7 years  (bostonherald.com) (219)
(Some Guy) Ironic The lack of snow is costing Americans tens of millions of dollars. Could someone figure out the exact right amount of snow so we can coordinate our prayers, please?  (weather.com) (159)
(KTVZ) Interesting Study finds high-fat foods cause brain scarring -- but that's cool, zombie chicks dig brain scars  (ktvz.com) (41)


Fri January 06, 2012
(Quad City Times) Fail Today's poorly-written headline: "Eldridge man to serve 14 years making meth"  (qctimes.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Obvious ABC wants to show us Dick for the next 10 years  (thedailyload.com) (89)
(Fark) Survey Coworker just said, "I have no desire to live 100 years." Why wouldn't you? Would you want to live 200 more years if you could?  (fark.com) (392)
(Washington Post) Scary Driver to spend 20 years in jail for not being a Kennedy  (washingtonpost.com) (72)
(American Museum of Natural History) Repeat My god....it's full of stars  (amnh.org) (55)
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting Looks like mercury caused the mass extinction 250 million years ago. GOP responds that's false, the Mercury Council has proven that it's good for you, and those mad hatters were just putting on an entertaining show for their customers  (physorg.com) (22)
(SFGate) Interesting Marine biologist could get 20 years in prison and a half million dollars in fines. Her crime? Feeding whales  (sfgate.com) (74)


Thu January 05, 2012
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Sad Richard Alf, one of Comic-Con's founders, dead at 59. Services will be held on Planet Melmac, located six parsecs past the Hydra-Centaurus Supercluster  (web.utsandiego.com) (24)
(Some Fools) Dumbass Burglars break into house, steal coin collection worth thousands -- then proceed to dump it all in coin counting machine, netting $450  (kptv.com) (119)
(Some Brit) Obvious Britney Spears can't stop looking at engagement ring, reinforcing stereotypes  (digitalspy.com) (34)
(CNBC) Fail Pepsi turns the cola wars into a war of attrition  (cnbc.com) (54)
(Toronto Star) Dumbass Canada's answer to Glenn Beck gives a reasoned, articulate response to a company's boycott of tarsands oil. Just kidding, he tells the senior VP to go f*ck his mother  (thestar.com) (64)
(LA Times) Fail David Beckham bewildered about why people think he is a secret homosexual. In other news, Mr Beckham stars in a new underwear campaign that proudly exhibits his groin bulge  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (66)
(NPR) Interesting Obama to end Kennedy's Flexible response defensive strategy. Conservatives respond with harsh remarks criticizing the font size used on the draft report  (npr.org) (35)
(Google) Dumbass US arson suspect faces German fire probe. German fire prober tells him he's facing the wrong direction  (google.com) (16)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious When a judge finds it "highly implausible" 11 panelists would "stick their noses in jars of excrement and report 44 independent times that they smelled nothing unpleasant," you'll probably have to pull your commercial  (chron.com) (40)
(Starpulse) Dumbass Jenny McCarthy says she won't do "Dancing with the Stars" because they never get any A-list talent on the show. In related news, Jenny McCarthy thinks she's A-list talent  (starpulse.com) (65)


Wed January 04, 2012
(QC Online) Stupid If you live in Illinois and want to buy drain cleaner, you will now have to show your ID, because "drain cleaners contain acid and acid was used to attack someone three years ago"  (qconline.com) (219)
(Some non-movie going Guy) Obvious Movie attendance hits 16-year low in 2011. Makers of 'Mars Needs Moms', 'The Beaver', and 'Arthur' forced to buy medium-sized jacuzzi for new vacation homes in Tahiti instead. The horror  (austin.culturemap.com) (116)
(Philly.com) Amusing Drastic cuts in school spending show an upside: it's easier to catch teen vandals after they post videos of themselves spray painting cars on YouTube  (philly.com) (17)
(Some ghost) Interesting 250 years ago this month, a London ghost claimed to have been murdered in what was to become a nationwide scandal  (ianvisits.co.uk) (26)
(TMZ) Interesting Judge rules that Darryl Strawberry's ex-wife can't touch the $800,000 she got in their divorce settlement until the IRS gets their cut, she hits at least one pinch-hit grand slam, and appears in at least four All-Star games  (tmz.com) (18)
(ESPN) Cool Gay, fellow bears make opponents look like queens  (sports.espn.go.com) (6)


Tue January 03, 2012
(ESPN) Obvious Bears part ways with offensive coordinator Mike Martz, who will now put his O-line coaching skills to use training matadors  (espn.go.com) (57)
(Wired) Followup "Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars"  (wired.com) (129)
(The New York Times) PSA Embattled Sears hires former Brookstone CEO. Because if anyone can convince people to buy useless crap like USB-powered nose hair trimmers with integrated coffee mug warmer, it's Brookstone  (nytimes.com) (42)
(io9) Sappy Ten greatest love/hate relationships from science fiction and fantasy. In space, no one hears you wishing you knew how to quit him  (io9.com) (99)
(Spinner) Followup Missing for over 30 years after a plane crash, Peter Frampton's guitar has been found  (spinner.com) (112)
(ABC) Interesting The bride's family pays for the wedding, the groom's for the rehearsal dinner, and the best man buys strippers for the bachelor party. But who supposed to pay for the bridalplasty?  (abcnews.go.com) (119)
(MSNBC) Dumbass "I hate America," says arsonist while being arrested. Really? We destroy things at random all the time. Stick around with us a little while longer. You'll learn to love us  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (83)
(MSNBC) Sappy Bad news: Woman gets raped. Worse news: Gets pregnant and gives up baby for adoption. Sappy: Reunites with daughter 77 years later. I think there's dust in my eye leftover from the Dust Bowl  (msnbc.msn.com) (85)


Mon January 02, 2012
(Denver Post) Weird Reason #54 why you shouldn't have your body cryogenically frozen: Every year your family might take your body out of its storage shed and drive with it around town in a hearse parade while the locals toss frozen salmon and have coffin races  (denverpost.com) (57)
(The Local (Germany)) Dumbass Polish ambassador: It's not the fault of Polish criminals in Germany stealing cars, it's the Germans' fault because their cars are too easy to steal  (thelocal.de) (39)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Can Cahill make the difference for Chelsea? Can Henry make it for Arsenal? Will RvP break Henry's record? All this plus bonus transfer window goodness in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk) (265)
(Buffalo News) Sappy This year's "twins born in different years" story brought to you by Buffalo, New York  (buffalonews.com) (33)
(Oregon Live) Amusing It's Klingon versus Stormtrooper in Portland's annual Star Trek v Star Wars blood drive (w/pic of basement dwellers in full nerd regalia)  (oregonlive.com) (58)


Sun January 01, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting It was 59 years ago today that Hank Williams died in the back seat of a Cadillac, somewhere between Bristol, Virginia and Oak Hill, West Virginia. And here's the car he died in  (roadsideamerica.com) (45)
(LA Times) Scary Photos: L.A. arson wave grows to about 40 fires. Day 3  (framework.latimes.com) (187)
(Some Neutral Party) Interesting Fifty years ago today, the Beatles auditioned for Decca Records--and were turned down. Flame on  (rockabillynblues.blogspot.com) (82)


Sat December 31, 2011
(New Scientist) Interesting Internet trolls: your shtick is over 100 years old. U mad?  (newscientist.com) (48)
(Slate) Interesting The 12 Kinds of Undecided Voters: Liars, haters, mavens, know-nothings, bandwagon riders, and other kinds of voters who just can't make up their minds  (slate.com) (111)
(Some Wishful Thinker) Photoshop Photoshop your New Years Resolution (Link goes to Subby's Resolution, regardless of how unlikely he is to succeed.)  (images54.fotki.com) (15)
(ljworld.com) Cool "It wasn't just local readers who were drawn to this story; the website Fark.com, which specializes in weird stories, sent significant traffic our way." Our traffic *is* very significant. (shoutout appears in Item #6)  (www2.ljworld.com) (1)
(USA Today) Amusing Prison inmates have registered with the IRS as tax preparers. Will take payments in cash, candy bars, cigarettes  (usatoday.com) (27)


Fri December 30, 2011
(LA Times) Scary Drivin' down your freeways / Midnight alleys roam / 19 cars, set on fire / Never saw the arson / So alone, so alone  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (27)
(Yahoo) Followup Best Korea names Kim Jong-un Supreme Commander, Emperor of Mars, and Grand Poobah of the Water Buffalo  (news.yahoo.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Obvious Barack Obama traveled to Mars twice in the 1980s  (exopolitics.blogs.com) (202)
(MSNBC) Sick If you fooled around over the last 3 years with a guy named David Dean Smith, you better have your HIV status checked pronto. Thousands of you  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (127)
(The New York Times) Interesting 52 year old Bronx prostitute still plying her trade after 30 years, for slightly less time than the typical state legislator (and considerably less money)  (nytimes.com) (117)
(Some Guy Some Guy) Scary Man who ran his twin down in a car sentenced to 40 years, having sinister goatee shaven off  (missoulian.com) (34)
(Journal Star) Obvious "Another big hit was the story of a man knocked unconscious with beer can at a family gathering. A huge contingent of readers came from Fark.com, a funny news website." WE'RE FUNNY, YOU GUYS (shoutout appears after top 10 list)  (journalstar.com) (2)
(CNN) Amusing A CNN columnist may be attempting to begin the prophesied Star Trek Wars (not to be confused with the Star Wars Trek)  (geekout.blogs.cnn.com) (66)
(ESPN) Cool Thierry Henry is coming back to Arsenal. Now all they need is Tony Adams, Steve Bould, Martin Keown, Lee Dixon, Nigel Winterburn and time machine, and they're in business  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (90)
(Daily Mail) Cool Darth Maple: World darts champion. Canadian. Star Wars fan. Single  (dailymail.co.uk) (15)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Neckbearded former QB for the Bears and Broncos sues over bad investments. DAMMIT ORTON  (chicagotribune.com) (22)
(Foreign Policy) Scary Descriptions of "looking up to Britney Spears" while "having his own nuclear arsenal" do not seem like a very good mix  (rothkopf.foreignpolicy.com) (14)
(BBC) Hero After 50 years and 200,000 casks, Glenfiddich's master cooper retires from the job he started on Christmas Day, 1961--at age 15  (bbc.co.uk) (89)


Thu December 29, 2011
(SanDiegoUnionTribune) Sad Marshall Ward, Navy commander during Cuban Missile Crisis, dead at 89. He is perhaps best known for piloting his ship 100 yards away from a Soviet vessel to inspect its cargo at the height of the standoff  (signonsandiego.com) (43)
(NPR) Obvious Pollsters and comic book scholars agree, this is the Worst Congress Ever  (npr.org) (38)
(Yahoo) Amusing Stay Puft Marshmallow Man hailed as, 'Supreme Leader." All I wanna know is, who cuts his hair?  (news.yahoo.com) (43)
(Showbiz Spy) Amusing Wynonna Judd is engaged. With a pic of what Snookie might look like in 20 years  (showbizspy.com) (62)
(Daily Mail) Strange 99 year old man is divorcing his wife of 77 years after he discovered she had an affair more than 60 years ago  (dailymail.co.uk) (112)
(Yahoo) Interesting Corn genetically modified to produce its own insecticide appears to be losing its effectiveness as nature appears to have genetically modified insects to be immune to it. Your move, science  (news.yahoo.com) (64)
(SeattlePI) Amusing Kasey Kahne has to apologize for anti-breastfeeding tweets, presumably after those three cougars who stalk him got really mad  (seattlepi.com) (30)
(LA Times) Strange Appellate court lets woman sue man whose flying body parts struck her after he was hit by a train, noting that "flying bodies" case law is a little sparse  (latimes.com) (112)
(STLToday) Cool One man's love letters to his true love are publically posted online. His 170 love letters. His 170 hand written love letters. Posted online exactly 150 years from the day he wrote them while fighting in the Civil War  (stltoday.com) (73)


Wed December 28, 2011
(Starpulse) Strange The years have not been kind to Chewbacca  (starpulse.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Followup Screenwriter Damon Lindelof clears up the confusion about whether Prometheus is really an Alien prequel or not. Well not exactly  (joblo.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Obvious As Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and others fall out of fashion, so does the trend of 'designer handbag dogs'. This brings up the question, what do you do with these annoying little furballs?  (environmentalgraffiti.com) (78)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Dumbass Late entry for 2011 Darwin Award electrocuted after trying to steal copper from abandoned textile mill. "The mills have been closed for several years, (but) it appears the electricity was still going into the power pole"  (ajc.com) (36)
(MSNBC) Interesting Turtle returned to sea after three years of rehab, even though he's just a shell of his former self  (msnbc.msn.com) (7)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Unlikely School bus hit by flying car, no one inju--FLYING CARS ARE HERE  (startribune.com) (44)


Tue December 27, 2011
(Huffington Post) Amusing The Huffington Post lifts a glass to Fark for directing their attention to a story about someone who enjoyed marshmallow vodka a bit too much  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)
(Huffington Post) Sad Middle eastern religious extremists bully, harass, and even spit on girls as young as 8 years old for immodest dress. Just another day in the life of Muslim funda...wait, what? Orthodox Jews?  (huffingtonpost.com) (317)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Misc LA voters to decide if porn stars have to wear condoms. Oh, c'mon, I think we can all agree that the women would look silly wearing condoms  (nbclosangeles.com) (57)
(KHOU Houston) Followup Man who lost his son to a car fire seven years ago saves the father of his son's best friend from a car fire, while dressed as Santa Claus  (khou.com) (45)
(Billings Gazette) Sappy Couple's engagement ring recovered nearly 40 years after being stuck in a toilet--way longer than subby's marriage has been in the crapper  (billingsgazette.com) (25)
(The Atlantic) Stupid Someone wrote something in the Washington Post. George W. Bush said something 6 years ago. Coincidence? It also turns out this phone number spells out "Mad dag 911G" I'm telling you, we're on to something  (theatlantic.com) (29)
(Yahoo) Sad Sears takes another step towards the dust bin of History  (finance.yahoo.com) (99)
(Chicago Tribune) Amusing Burglar blames his actions on Marshmallow Vodka. Wait a minute, they have Marshmallow Vodka now? I bet it tastes like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man after a three day bender  (chicagotribune.com) (80)


Mon December 26, 2011
(Daily Kos) Fail After 14 years McDonald's closes all their restaurants in Bolivia. Officials concede that once a country goes empanada it can never go Mac  (dailykos.com) (42)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Remember, DRIVE MOR KARS  (chicagotribune.com) (101)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida What a long strange trip its been. 14 years after being left for dead, man reunites with family  (tampabay.com) (38)


Sun December 25, 2011
(Yahoo) Interesting Can the Bears halt their free-fall into mediocrity? Will the Packers bounce back from the end of a perfect run? Will anyone still be sober after gallons of after-dinner spiked egg nog? Tune in for Christmas NFL action at 8:20 ET on NBC  (sports.yahoo.com) (lots)
(Yahoo) Interesting Cash is King: The Obama administration appears to have softened a U.S. ban on Internet gambling  (news.yahoo.com) (56)
(Mental Floss) Cool Brew up some eggnog fit for George Washington. Don't call it a comeback, the drink's been here for years  (mentalfloss.com) (31)
(CBS DFW) Sappy As a joke, two Texas men began mailing each other the same Christmas card, year after year. The tradition has finally come to an end...61 years after it began  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (41)
(Mercury News) Sad Burglars steal all of a family's Christmas presents, and also the dog. Presumably to tie a big horn to the top of his head, if they can't find a reindeer, they'll make one instead  (mercurynews.com) (24)


Sat December 24, 2011
(Huffington Post) Followup The fruitcake which has been regifted by everyone for 70 years finally sells for $525 at auction  (huffingtonpost.com) (19)
(Jalopnik) Cool Ten coolest wooden cars you'll see this week. Come for sports car, stay for the rest  (jalopnik.com) (18)
(YouTube) Video 12 years ago The West Wing had a Christmas episode that was among the most touching and moving ever. Here's the final scene  (youtube.com) (73)
(Yahoo) Cool Top selling Christmas gifts over the years  (shopping.yahoo.com) (69)
(Some Guy) Interesting Compared to nearly bankrupt U.S. car companies, BMW, Mercedes and VW make twice as many cars, pay twice the hourly wages and remain profitable. Bu-bu-bu SOCIALISM  (remappingdebate.org) (136)
(YouTube) Spiffy The 2+ hour documentary "Star Wars Begins" a behind the scenes look at the making of Star Wars, out takes, deleted scenes, etc. Pretty good stuff for all the fans, and now all in one video  (youtube.com) (25)


Fri December 23, 2011
(Snakkle.com) Amusing Awesome gallery of Wrestling Superstars' high school yearbook photos. Come for The Rock's stache, stay for Goldberg's JewFro  (snakkle.com) (64)
(The Consumerist) Sad In the worst tragedy on American soil since 9/11, vegetarian's life completely ruined because some stoned teenage windowlicker wouldn't make her a veggie sub. 10 years from now, we'll all remember where we were when we read this  (consumerist.com) (192)
(Coventry Telegraph) Dumbass Man gets two years in prison for selling cocaine while being drunk and dressed as The Incredible Hulk, after police caught him green-handed  (coventrytelegraph.net) (22)
(YouTube) Amusing And now for a real treat: Trololo Man found after all of these years  (youtube.com) (24)


Thu December 22, 2011
(Fox News) Dumbass Iran announces plans to conduct Navy drills with...... CTRL+V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V....most fearsome, awe inspiring flotilla known to mankind  (foxnews.com) (139)
(Some guy) Sad Still Burning: "She shows up tardy one day and hears her name called over the loud speaker to come to the principal's office. She spends the next five days behind bars"  (clarionledger.com) (154)
(Fox News) Scary Girl swept out to sea by a tsunami when she was eight years old finally makes it back home...seven years later  (foxnews.com) (111)
(Showbiz Spy) Interesting Britney Spears' engagement ring cost approximately 4.5 Kevin Federlines  (showbizspy.com) (39)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Top ten dumb Obama administration quotes for 2011. Surprisingly, Biden only appears twice  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (103)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Dealership to offer free cars if the Bears shut out the Packers this Sunday. What could possibly go wrong?  (sports.yahoo.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Scary Lesbian vampire killer set to walk free after 20 years. Doesn't know about Twilight yet  (dailymail.co.uk) (44)
(The New York Times) Interesting The border fence has stopped the single greatest threat to our nation cold in its tracks: bears  (nytimes.com) (29)
(USA Today) PSA The oldest Christmas cake in America turned 100-years old. w/edible goodness photo  (content.usatoday.com) (29)
(Yahoo) Spiffy 2006: Browns rookie promises $10,000 scholarships to 100 H.S. freshmen if they graduate with a 2.5 GPA. 2011: Now a 49ers player, spends nearly a year's salary to make good  (sports.yahoo.com) (78)


Wed December 21, 2011
(Bloomberg) Stupid Chicago Bears WR in trouble with the feds. This is not a repeat from last week  (bloomberg.com) (13)
(Politico) Sad Profiles in courage: presidential candidates who decry, but do nothing to stop the outside organizations that spend millions of dollars to attack their opponents  (politico.com) (18)
(Fox News) Asinine After years of insomnia-based all nighters, Chinese hackers discover the secret to restful sleep. They break into US Chamber of Commerce policy statement discussions  (foxnews.com) (11)
(BBC) Hero An Iranian diplomat who saved thousands of Jews in Nazi-occupied Paris died in poverty and obscurity thirty years ago. Finally his story is being told. "There is no distinction 'I am Muslim, he is Jew' or whatever"  (bbc.co.uk) (57)


Tue December 20, 2011
(Huffington Post) Asinine Income inequality in the United States is worse than in ancient Rome, and that's including the slaves. Wait until my friend Biggus Dickus hears about this  (huffingtonpost.com) (457)
(Live Science) Interesting Scholars discover where Drew's ancestors once lived  (livescience.com) (10)
(ESPN) Cool Texas Rangers win right to negotiate with Japanese phenom Yu Darvish for *raises pinky to mouth* 51.7 million dollars  (espn.go.com) (40)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Man steals mannequin from Sears. NOTHING'S GONNA STOP HIM NOW... except for the cops  (mcall.com) (35)
(MSNBC) Amusing Pen is retrieved from 76 year-old woman's stomach 25 years after she swallowed it. FARK: It still writes. Pen is mightier  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com) (52)
(Daily Mail) Cool Engine by Ferrari, Handlebars by BMW: The world's most expensive quad bike goes on sale  (dailymail.co.uk) (74)


Mon December 19, 2011
(io9) Unlikely How we will terraform Mars  (io9.com) (99)
(Wired) Amusing So, you can't go wrong with a review of an online Star Wars game that starts with "Forever alone?"  (wired.com) (213)
(Washington Post) Hero Eight years, seven months and 25 days after the U.S. invasion of Iraq began, the final and 4,474th U.S. service member was killed by a roadside bomb  (washingtonpost.com) (220)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy From "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" to "The Star Wars Holiday Special" it's time to celebrate the worst of Christmas  (chron.com) (64)
(CNN) Stupid Forget about the holidays, the pending global recession, and the death of Kim Jung Il - Britney Spears has changed her Facebook status to "engaged". It's not news, it's CNN  (marquee.blogs.cnn.com) (10)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Car theft ring in Philly. News: It's a family affair. FARK: Cars were Older Honda Accords  (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) (32)
(Economist) Spiffy For the first time in forty years America's prison population has actually decreased. Either the costs of locking up non-violent offenders is to blame, or Obama is releasing them to rape your women and children  (economist.com) (69)
(Reuters) Silly Military drone pilots under great stress over fears of eye strain, constipation, carpal tunnel syndrome  (reuters.com) (75)


Sun December 18, 2011
(NJ.com) Hero "Fifteen years ago, I voted in favor of the Defense of Marriage Act. I now realize I was wrong. Today, I am announcing my support for the Respect for Marriage Act, which repeals DOMA"  (blog.nj.com) (165)
(Talking Points Memo) Scary Newt Gingrich says as President he would abide by "small government" values. Just kidding, he says he would send US Marshals to arrest any judge whose decision he disagrees with under charges of treason against America  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (475)
(Houston Chronicle) Cool When Harvey Stewart first went to prison 60 years ago, gasoline was 20 cents a gallon, a postage stamp cost three pennies and Harry Truman was president. After parole all he wants is "a good easygoing meal and a rootbeer"  (chron.com) (112)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Will Spurs bounce back after getting jobbed by the Potters? Are Chelsea finally getting their groove on? Can the transfer window open soon enough for a crocked United? All this plus a huge City v Arsenal match in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk) (223)


Sat December 17, 2011
(LA Times) Obvious The only thing this "solar power breakthrough doubles output" article is missing is the obligatory "scientists believe it will be commercially viable in five to ten years" phrase  (latimes.com) (58)
(Yahoo) Scary South Carolina woman has first human rabies case in 50 years. Kentucky dissappointed  (news.yahoo.com) (114)
(Yahoo) Misc Russia's failed Phobos-Grunt Mars probe, which failed to reach orbit, will fall to Earth sometime in early January. Where will it land? No one knows. When will it land? No one knows. Will it kill you? YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD. DO NOT PANIC  (news.yahoo.com) (30)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Google patents the idea of driverless cars scanning QR codes to find out where they are then using the internet to find out where Sarah Connor lives  (dailymail.co.uk) (24)
(CBS News) Followup Just when you thought you've completely wiped out the memory of the the last one, Madonna to release first album in five years  (cbsnews.com) (22)
(BattleSwarm) PSA Gen. Ricardo Sanchez drops out of Texas Senate race. "Right now the only Democratic candidates are a guy that doesn't look old enough to drink and a guy who's been dead for 191 years"  (battleswarmblog.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Interesting Your tax dollars at work: The U.S. is forcing the Navy to buy 450,000 gallons of jet biofuel at $15 a gallon, or about four times the market price of conventional jet fuel  (blog.heritage.org) (166)


Fri December 16, 2011
(Space) Sad NASA pulls the plug on Space Shuttle Discovery for the last time Friday, Dec. 16, more than 28 years after the NASA's retired fleet leader first came alive. A faint, "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave" was heard  (space.com) (112)
(Some Grinch) Silly Leave the Christmas cookies, cakes, candy bars, and soda at home ya little fatties, school is no place for yummy holiday celebrations this year  (boston.cbslocal.com) (43)
(Henry's Tacos) PSA Just after celebrating 50 years as the roadside Googie home to the original gringo taco, Henry's Tacos in Studio City is about to get the heave-ho from their landlord. SAVE THE SAUCE CUPS  (dailynews.com) (49)
(Spiegel) Ironic "If it hadn't been for the US intervention in Iraq, the 'Arab Spring' might have broken out years earlier"  (spiegel.de) (103)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Hero Ever wonder what happened to that Browns fan that got bodyslammed a few years back? Me neither, but it turns out James Harrison knocked some sense into him  (cleveland.com) (48)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Arsenal, Inter, Bayern, Chelsea, Real, and more. Your Champions League round of 16 draw is here. Oh, and that Europa League thing, too  (dailymail.co.uk) (25)
(YouTube) Video Tim Tebow wore a mic during Sunday's comeback win over the Bears. This awesome video could make you a believer  (youtube.com) (414)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Seattle burglar scales homeowner's 10-foot fence, lands in a pack of hungry pit bulls. It's Gary Larson's town, we just live in it  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (54)


Thu December 15, 2011
(Fark) FarkBlog Headline of the Year contest will be tomorrow at 11AM EST, so mark your calendars. Also a few of Fark's favorite Headlines Of The Week for 12/4 - 12/10  (fark.com) (11)
(Pravda) Ironic Putin about John McCain: "He was captured in Vietnam and kept in a hole for several years. Any person would have bats in the belfry after that"  (english.pravda.ru) (52)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Is the government lying to us about the economy? Unemployment is down (because people stopped looking for work) and consumer spending is slightly off (because people are living out of their cars)  (marketwatch.com) (71)
(io9) Stupid Watch Glee's very special Star Wars Holiday Special...or don't ruin the rest of your day  (io9.com) (65)
(YouTube) Video What if someone predicted the wars, middle east uprisings, US housing bubble and economic collapse, dollar crisis, erosion of civil liberties, expanding government, & class warfare in 2002. Would you vote for them to be President?  (youtube.com) (116)
(ProJo.com) Interesting Red Sox to announce new scholarship for high school students. Expected to be promising over the summer but collapse by the time school starts  (news.providencejournal.com) (15)
(Life.com) Misc 78 years ago today, Prohibition ends ... putting the kibosh on mass protests that featured the only placards subby could ever really get behind  (life.com) (61)


Wed December 14, 2011
(Daily Mail) Cool Bisexual Amber Heard urges other Hollywood stars to come out of the closet. With a helpful picture of how this might be achieved  (dailymail.co.uk) (147)
(Uproxx) Interesting That Nick Nolte mugshot that's been floating around for years on the internet -- not an actual mugshot  (uproxx.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Scary For the latest round of "Real Story or Syfy Channel Movie?" we have black widow spiders infesting a navy warship  (connecticut.cbslocal.com) (63)
(Gawker) Sick Gawker finally gets a response to the Freedom of Information Act request they put in four years ago for documents on Blackwater. Here are the lowlights. Anyway, has anyone figured out what those Occupiers are upset about?  (gawker.com) (223)
(PCWorld) Stupid This is why nobody wears watches anymore  (pcworld.com) (153)
(Marketwatch) Scary This rough patch should only last another 20 years or so  (marketwatch.com) (74)
(Mirror.co.uk) Amusing Stair wars  (mirror.co.uk) (13)
(WQAD) Sappy 3 years, 9 months, 13 days, 2 states, and more than 70 miles later, a family is reunited with the dog they gave up for lost after it wandered away while doing its business  (wqad.com) (46)
(Telegraph) Scary "They grow to 23-feet long and are so fearsome they have even been known to eat polar bears"  (telegraph.co.uk) (48)


Tue December 13, 2011
(The Ledger) Florida After being banned for years, Florida is finally allowing same sex couples to adopt  (theledger.com) (135)
(The Sun) Asinine What might socialized medicine cost? Try over $300,000 in four years for removing ugly tattoos from stupid people  (thesun.co.uk) (142)
(Canada.com) Interesting David Attenborough explains that BBC filmed polar bears in zoo because they didn't want their cameramen to be eaten  (canada.com) (28)
(Some Darth) Cool BioWare kicks off Star Wars: The Old Republic headstart two days early, causing a great disturbance among those who didn't get in yet  (shacknews.com) (150)
(USA Today) Interesting Lindsey Vonn watched the Tebows beat the Bears in a luxury box with Tebow's family, saying they're "just good friends." If Tebow loses his virginity to Lindsey Vonn, there might be something to this Jesus business after all  (usatoday.com) (174)
(I Heart Chaos) Cool In ten years, we'll finally get cars that look like they're from the future. About damn time  (iheartchaos.com) (87)


Mon December 12, 2011
(TMZ) Strange Britney Spears reads about herself, wishes that she were more illiterate  (tmz.com) (24)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Unlikely Newt Gingrich fans the fears of electromagnetic death from above  (startribune.com) (108)
(The Local Norway) Interesting Butter priced at $515 a pack on Norway's black market as demand soars. What's smør, people are willing to pay for it  (thelocal.no) (111)


Sun December 11, 2011
(Some TARDIS Databanks) Cool Two lost 1960s Doctor Who episodes have been recovered by the BBC - watch clips of classic Who no one has seen in forty years to the left, complain about how they're not emo or sparkly enough to the right  (tardisdatabanks.com) (116)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Asinine St Paul police are comfortable with city notification method which has let city keep $515,497 which can be refunded to people whose cars were towed and sold  (startribune.com) (86)
(Bleacher Report) Cool Hottest athletes of the last 25 years. Sure, it's a slideshow, but seriously... 2008 FTW  (bleacherreport.com) (111)
(ESPN) Interesting Will the Colts pick up their first win of the season? Can the Bears maul Teebus? Will the Giants defeat the Cowboys to tie up the NFC East? It's the NFL Week 14 thread (games start at 1 PM ET on CBS and Fox)  (scores.espn.go.com) (4633)
(Comics Alliance) Amusing Al Jaffee, the 91 year-old artist who has drawn Mad Magazine's fold-ins for years and done the Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions feature, took stupid questions from a live audience and gave some damn snappy answers (w/video)  (comicsalliance.com) (42)


Sat December 10, 2011
(redding.com) Strange Man rams one car into an apartment, then rams another car into his girlfriend's apartment, kicks down the door and, sheriff says, "this is where it gets kind of weird, he takes off all his clothes and starts jumping on cars"  (redding.com) (32)
(Yahoo) Cool Dream On: The most expensive cars of 2012  (autos.yahoo.com) (73)
(Some Guy) Interesting Vocal fry becomes more prevalent in speech, hears what you did there  (news.sciencemag.org) (46)
(Telegraph) Sad While Rihanna dumps a new album of AutoTune mediocrity every year, Adele is talking 2 to 3 more years before she releases her next  (telegraph.co.uk) (82)
(TMZ) Obvious Hugh Hefner shocked by Internet leak of Playboy's Lindsay Lohan spread. This is the first time the word "shocked" has been used in connection with either Playboy or Lindsay Lohan in years  (tmz.com) (136)
(Daily Mail) PSA Ford recalls 129,000 cars over tiny driving defect ... the wheels may fall off  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)
(Some Guy) Interesting Amazing electron microscope images of snowflakes. Sometimes precious snowflakes aren't such a bad thing  (emu.arsusda.gov) (17)
(LA Times) Scary Best shootout scene Hollywood has filmed in years. Unfortunately, it wasn't a movie  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (68)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to outdo the FARK regulars with a link to the FARK Weird News Quiz  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)


Fri December 09, 2011
(Some Guy) Scary Californians have apparently been storing a 700-lbs WWII bomb on a tank of diesel fuel for 70 years. Bonus: Next to Oakland International Airport  (ktvu.com) (81)
(New Scientist) Cool "Matrix Multiplication", a key theoretical mathematical tool for solving problems in physics, economics and science, makes first major discovery in 24 years. I was told there would be no math  (newscientist.com) (61)
(Abc.net.au) Amusing Being caught driving while 4 times over the limit isn't a good thing, but heck at 90 years old you gotta be proud of her stamina  (abc.net.au) (38)
(Kiro) Amusing Rep. Rick Larsen fires three staffers who were too Tweet to drunk  (kirotv.com) (44)
(LiveLeak) Scary Massive silverback gorilla roars and beats his chest, nearly scaring cameraman into a new pair of underwear. Not for the faint of heart  (liveleak.com) (42)
(Statesman) Sick Texas dentist caught with child porn has been sentenced to five years of having his cavities filled  (statesman.com) (66)


Thu December 08, 2011
(ESPN) Dumbass First baseman from Los Angeles baseball team in the news today. No not that one. James Loney arrested for DUI after hitting three cars on the freeway  (espn.go.com) (26)
(News.com.au) Sad Priceless stage props and memorobilia from classic 60's TV show have been lost or stolen over the years  (news.com.au) (44)
(UPI) Strange Man wears Chewbacca mask during shooting, cops assign case to their new wookie  (upi.com) (37)
(Cracked) Amusing Star Wars vs. Star Trek: An objective analysis  (cracked.com) (313)
(Fox News) Obvious Attorney General Eric Holder says the 'Fast and Furious' guns will probably continue to show up at crime scenes in the U.S. and Mexico "for years to come." Ummm, thanks Mr. Holder  (foxnews.com) (78)
(Fox News) Interesting NASA Rover finds strong evidence of water on Mars; "This is the single most powerful piece of evidence for liquid water at Mars that has been discovered by the Opportunity rover"  (foxnews.com) (55)
(YouTube) Obvious Rachel Maddow tears Obama a new one over Prolonged Detention  (youtube.com) (156)


Wed December 07, 2011
(MSNBC) Followup Principal forced out over 9-year-old's sexual harassment suspension:"One mistake in 44 years, and I'm not given the benefit of the doubt. I really don't believe I was treated fairly." Zero tolerance is a biatch  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (202)
(Some non-Auditing Guy) Interesting Mitch Daniels is such a great leader that he just found $288 million dollars (that's been accumulating for four years in an account that they couldn't find before now)  (courierpress.com) (68)
(CBS News) NewsFlash Blagojevich to get 14 years of getting his seat filled  (cbsnews.com) (276)
(Short List) Fail This week's gas / brakes mix up is sponsored by Surati Farsan Mart, San Diego. Stay classy, motorists  (shortlist.com) (30)
(Life.com) Obvious 70 years ago today, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. Things looked awfully bleak. Then Brooklyn got involved  (life.com) (167)


Tue December 06, 2011
(BBC) Interesting US Army develops sandwich which stays fresh for two years - here's how  (bbc.co.uk) (71)
(Science Daily) Interesting Ancient meat-loving predators survived for over 35 million years because aliens  (sciencedaily.com) (18)
(YouTube) Spiffy Master jazz pianist Dave Brubeck turns 91 today. Here he is playing his most famous piece, Take Five, 50 years ago  (youtube.com) (79)
(LA Times) Dumbass If you are going to be a serial arsonist, try not to let video cameras capture you in the act. Oh, and try not to set your own arm on fire either. With video of flaming arsonist's arm  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (59)
(Detroit Free Press) Interesting Actual headline: "Fast trains from Detroit to Chicago coming in 3-4 years." Wow; I'd sure hate to have to book a ticket on the slow train  (freep.com) (70)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Scary The Incredible Bulk tears his clothes off and ambushes couple on their own front porch. You wouldn't like him when he's angry, and pumped up on steroids  (ajc.com) (42)
(SFGate) Followup Britney Spears isn't the only celebrity who turned 30 this year. Here's a slideshow with 30 more, to make you feel really, really old  (sfgate.com) (126)


Mon December 05, 2011
(ESPN) Obvious Headline: "Brett Favre would talk to Bears." Story: "The Bears haven't contacted the 42-year-old Favre, who has spent a good portion of his recent days hunting, and it's highly doubtful the team is interested"  (espn.go.com) (197)
(truTV) Scary Maybe the reason the Russian Mars probe wasn't designed well for space travel is that it wasn't actually designed for space travel  (blog.trutv.com) (53)
(CSNChicago) Followup Bears last week: "We're good with Caleb Hanie. Take a hike Donnie Drama." Bears this week: "Perhaps we were a bit hasty Mr. McNabb"  (csnchicago.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Cool Hockey fans donate 25,000 teddy bears in two minutes  (inquisitr.com) (16)
(CNN) Interesting The United States is on track this year to be a net exporter of refined oil products for the first time in 62 years  (money.cnn.com) (125)
(Washington Post) Sad Sad: Starring in a movie and not remembering it. Sadder: Not seeing it until over 30 years after it was in theaters. Saddest: Your life was the exact opposite of the movie title. I guess it wasn't such A Wonderful Life after all  (washingtonpost.com) (141)
(Detroit News) Dumbass Let's see: Commit a bunch of stupid penalties? Check. Throw a couple of key interceptions? Yep. Commit dumb mental mistakes not worthy of junior varsity? Of course. Welcome back Detroit Lions  (detnews.com) (44)
(ESPN) Fail Jason Garrett becomes first head coach in years to successfully ice a kicker. Fail tag appears because it was his kicker  (espn.go.com) (87)


Sun December 04, 2011
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool 44 years after her 'Gilligan's Island' role, Dawn Wells is still hot  (suntimes.com) (131)
(LA Times) Spiffy Dane Cook quitting stand-up for now, says he respects the art form so much -- which is clearly the funniest thing he's said in years  (latimes.com) (84)


Sat December 03, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting 63 Percent of Illegal Aliens have Resided in the U.S. 10 Years or More. The illegals don't need to be "brought out of the shadows" because they live and work openly  (pewhispanic.org) (161)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Amusing It's not too late to make plans to come to Eastport, Maine and watch the Great Sardine drop for New Years. "Oh, yeah, it's good luck to kiss the fish"  (sunjournal.com) (21)
(CNN) Sad Upper house of African country's legislature passes bill to lock up all gays for 14 years. No, it's not Uganda  (cnn.com) (97)


Fri December 02, 2011
(Discover) Sad European Space Agency gives up on Russian Mars probe, doesn't give a Phobos grunt  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (22)
(G4TV) Interesting Minecraft creator steps down as lead designer, fans weep blocky tears of sadness  (g4tv.com) (45)
(CBC) Followup Not only will apple juice kill you with arsenic, it will also make you fat. Fark's previous recommendation of substituting beer continues with additional oomph  (cbc.ca) (55)
(Zap2It) Strange Jay Cutler on his engagement to Kristin Cavallari: "I'm just kind of along for the ride." Kind of like his relationships with Broncos, Bears  (blog.zap2it.com) (30)
(JoBlo.com) Amusing A Starship Troopers reboot is inbound. Would you like to know more?  (joblo.com) (377)
(Onion AV Club) PSA Napster officially finished. Lars Ulrich will crack the bubbly  (avclub.com) (178)
(YouTube) Video Britney Spears turns 30 today. Let's go back 20 years ago, to the beginning  (youtube.com) (17)
(CNBC) Fail Merkel says Marathon crisis will take years to solve. Jeez, I beat that game in like two nights  (cnbc.com) (16)
(BBC) Interesting Headlines about fighting against capitalism, foreign wars, deadbeat fathers, strange lights in the sky and a cow that swallowed a snake: It's not Fark, it's England in 1811  (bbc.co.uk) (7)
(Globe and Mail) Amusing Canadian professor who hasn't lived in Italy for 28 years surprised when newspapers start reporting he's the country's new agriculture minister  (theglobeandmail.com) (17)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting Police say they've shut down a magic mushroom grow-op based on the cash, spores, mason jars, flying monkeys, talking grandfather clocks, giant bejeweled eels, answers to the Ancients' riddles, and cosmic waterfalls they confiscated  (courant.com) (37)
(YouTube) Asinine Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape  (youtube.com) (138)
(CBS News) Sad Here in my car - I feel safest of all - I can lock all my doors - it's the only way to live in cars  (cbsnews.com) (124)
(Yahoo) Amusing Coca-Cola: We're changing the cans to save the polar bears, Public: They look like Diet Coke and taste different CHANGE THEM BACK, Coca-Cola: Ummmm...fark it, change them back  (finance.yahoo.com) (201)


Thu December 01, 2011
(Some Gal) Scary 174 cars involved in massive pile up that stretches over 2 miles in Tennessee  (newschannel5.com) (109)
(Jezebel) Sad The secret daughter of Loretta Young and Clark Gable has passed away. In honor of Judy Lewis this submitter will not be revealed for 31 years  (jezebel.com) (29)
(Toledo Blade) Followup Ohio cracking down on lions, tigers, bears. Oh my  (toledoblade.com) (13)
(BBC) Followup Jailed Amish beard cutters denied bail over fears they pose a buggy risk  (bbc.co.uk) (15)
(The Macomb Daily) Amusing Person in gorilla suit dumps sand in Little Caesars and runs away ... numerous times  (macombdaily.com) (20)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine College student who recognizes her friend, an attempted cop killer, in wanted poster does the obvious thing: "Freaks out" and tears down the posters  (thesmokinggun.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Interesting The Muppets has a 98% approval rating on Rotton Tomatoes, a rare 'A' CinemaScore rating and is one of the best movies of the year. So does it have a chance at the Oscars? The answer is 'probably not, except for the songs'  (thewrap.com) (84)
(NYPost) Interesting For the first time in 40 years of Nielsen Research, the number of households with TV sets has dropped. Community was worse than we thought  (nypost.com) (77)
(Quad City Times) Silly Sears offered $400 million to move their headquarters from Illinois to Ohio. Because when you think of failing retail industries, you think of Ohio  (qctimes.com) (45)
(Starpulse) Spiffy Not news: Stevie Wonder losing weight so he can look good. News: so he can star on a reality TV show. Fark: reality TV show is Dancing with the Stars  (starpulse.com) (56)
(Washington Post) Hero Famous Polish pilot dies. Tried to defend Warsaw, Paris and London against the Nazis. Third time was the charm  (washingtonpost.com) (70)
(Slate) Fail Carlos Mencia is attempting a comeback. You submitted this headline two years ago and it was way funnier then  (slate.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Weird Things you don't expect to inherit from your 90-year-old blue-collar father: 1. Billions of dollars. 2. An oil company. 3. A storage unit with his 1,000+ dildo collection (language Not safe for work)  (nzafro.tumblr.com) (64)


Wed November 30, 2011
(NYPost) Silly Howard Stern can't believe CNN still books the guy who pranks anchormen by shouting "Baba Booey" after all these years  (nypost.com) (112)
(IOL) Cool World's first sex school opens in Vienna. Subby applying for a need-based scholarship  (iol.co.za) (100)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Le Mans race car at the center of disaster that killed 84 is set to sell at auction after being hidden away the past 42 years  (dailymail.co.uk) (44)
(ABC) Interesting Want a smart kid? Wait two years before having another  (abcnews.go.com) (32)
(NJ.com) Fail Number of New Jersey residents on food stamps has doubled in the past four years. Now that's change you can wait in line for  (nj.com) (67)
(USA Today) Stupid Good news, everybody. Now you can go hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt earning a college degree in how to play video games  (usatoday.com) (42)
(MSNBC) Spiffy The horrible impact of Obamacare continues, as one million more kids gain health insurance in the last three years  (msnbc.msn.com) (350)
(Google) Cool Godless communists at Google at it again, this time choosing to celebrate with today's Doodle noted America-hater Mark Twain's birthday instead of the anniversary of the divine merger of capitalist juggernauts Exxon/Mobil 13 years ago  (google.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Cool Stolen in 2000, recovered last April, this copy of Action Comics #1 is now up for auction. There goes my comic book budget for the next 3000 years  (bleedingcool.com) (6)
(Jalopnik) Strange Well, who wouldn't want to see a music video recreating the 1970 24 hours of Le Mans using slot cars?  (jalopnik.com) (18)
(TC Palm) Florida After 14 years of failed peacemaking initiatives between a Florida woman and her neighbor, the woman takes one last stab at reconciliation, mooning the neighbor and warning of her 'Cuban temper.' With I'd hit it pic  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (54)


Tue November 29, 2011
(Ars Technica) Unlikely Activision CEO: Star Wars The Old Republic may not make EA any money. EA CEO: It will be profitable. George Lucas: Who cares, cha-ching  (arstechnica.com) (163)
(NewsOK) Strange News: diverse resumes help in these tough economic times. Fark: sex toy engineer, hoverboard designer, and arsonist may be a bit much to land that new career  (newsok.com) (20)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Some jerk wins $1M lottery for the second time in three years  (news.yahoo.com) (47)
(Wired) Fail UK, wanting to know what drugs will look like in 20 years, paid some "futurist" untold bucks to buy them a copy of Snow Crash. Fail tag because Wired doesn't realize this  (wired.com) (35)
(truTV) Followup It appears that the arrest of the New York bomb plot suspect was 99% misdirection  (blog.trutv.com) (59)
(New Scientist) Interesting The stars on the oldest heliocentric model known to man are on backwards...whoops  (newscientist.com) (26)
(BBC) Followup Hostage returns home after 12 years captive. No stupid Farc jokes here, just an interesting story  (bbc.co.uk) (18)
(TMZ) Sad Patrice O'Neal passes away at age 41. He never got an answer from Kobe on how his arse tastes  (tmz.com) (168)
(Uproxx) Obvious Anyone who can watch this video of pharmaceutical research dogs experiencing sunlight and grass for the first time and do it without producing tears is simply not human  (uproxx.com) (334)
(Some Guy) Cool Star Wars: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas Edition  (inquisitr.com) (10)
(Washington Post) Asinine VA officials fine with people getting quietly and sadly drunk in bars, but heaven help the owners if they start dancing  (washingtonpost.com) (66)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Silly Advice columnist suggests that moms use the Twilight movies to talk to their teen daughters about sex. Absent from the suggestions: "Don't get knocked up by someone 90 years older than you are"  (suntimes.com) (100)
(The Register) Amusing Piece of 'art' on exhibit: "5 Million Dollars 1 Terabyte" consists of 1 USB-hdd full of 5 Million Dollars worth of pirated content. Can trolling the RIAA/MPAA/BSA be considered art?  (theregister.co.uk) (103)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Seth Rogen thinks James Franco did a "great job" hosting the Oscars. I'm sure it seemed that way if you were high at the time  (huffingtonpost.com) (12)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida If you want to stop cars from speeding down your street, should you A: Install speed bumps? B: Erect speed limit signs? or C: Throw bricks through car's windows as they drive by?  (tampabay.com) (87)
(Fox Sports) Spiffy Will any giants be slain? How will Man City and Liverpool deal with two days rest? Two massive fixtures highlight your Carling Cup thread, with Arsenal v Man City & Chelsea v Liverpool  (msn.foxsports.com) (97)
(Some Fraulein) Weird German woman hasn't used money for 15 years, gets through punishing financial crisis without a mark on her  (wakeup-world.com) (50)


Mon November 28, 2011
(NewsBusters) Sad Hard to believe that several years ago, we were looking at him for our President. The true Powell surfaced. He was NEVER a Republican NEVER  (newsbusters.org) (278)
(SeattlePI) Amusing Hope Solo: "I had too much muscle for 'Dancing With the Stars'." Also had trouble making the Kessel Run in under twelve parsecs  (blog.seattlepi.com) (120)
(BBC) Interesting Modern American teenagers appear to have lost their love for cars, preferring to hang out online instead of 'cruising' together. Which leads to the question: What the hell is wrong with modern American teenagers?  (bbc.co.uk) (239)


Sun November 27, 2011
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post sees if their readers have been as observant as the FARK regulars by running a link to the Fark Weird News Quiz  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)
(YouTube) Video After 48 years, controversial hit still causes two CFL legends to throw down in what will no doubt be the highlight of Grey Cup weekend  (youtube.com) (85)


Sat November 26, 2011
(Some Guy) Interesting Moving eight years of stuff out of Iraq is the largest move of equipment the military has done since WWII  (wtkr.com) (201)
(Discovery) Followup Stranded Russian Mars probe falls silent. This is a repeat, tovarisch  (news.discovery.com) (38)
(Spokesman.com) Followup Twenty years later, lawyer determines Ronald Reagan was not criminally liable in the Iran-Contra affair  (spokesman.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Stupid Man with 17 DUIs who was caught driving on probation gets the eight years in jail that he was supposed to get. Just kidding, they let him go with a stern lecture. Possibly a raised eyebrow  (salemnews.com) (116)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Discover) Cool Launch of Mars probe Curiosity, with 10 times scientific payload of its predecessors, set for 10:02 AM Saturday  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (88)


Thu November 24, 2011
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup Bears settle for Josh McCown after the Chiefs settle for Kyle Orton  (suntimes.com) (24)
(MSNBC) Interesting 40 years ago today, a man with enormous brass balls jumped out of the back of an airborne Boeing 727, with a knapsack full of cash, and a neck tie containing titanium  (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com) (118)
(YouTube) Sad 20 years ago today he had to leave us all behind and face the truth  (youtube.com) (61)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy Mom, son reunited after 29 years just in time for Thanksgiving. Now pardon me these turkey feathers are making my eyes water  (chron.com) (25)


Wed November 23, 2011
(My Fox Los Angeles) Sad Pollster George Gallup Jr. dead at 81 (margin of error +/- 3 years)  (myfoxla.com) (24)
(BBC) Amusing Even if she lives to be 110 years old; even if she discovers a cure for cancer; even if she is the first human to set foot on Mars, one photo will follow this young woman to the grave  (bbc.co.uk) (154)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Rick Hilton says son Conrad was completely sober, merely hit two parked cars because he was trying to avoid a dog that ran in front of him. Then went home to his wife, Morgan Fairchild  (dailymail.co.uk) (45)
(Deadline) Followup While it's depressing to realize Dancing with the Stars has 13 seasons in the bag, it's still going strong. Here's who last night's winner was (spoilers, obviously)  (deadline.com) (41)
(Seattle Times) Obvious The homeless don't want the pumpkin pie filling that's been in your cupboard for 12 years  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (193)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The current odds for the 2012 Oscars. So far? It's a silent French film vs Spielberg's horse  (denofgeek.com) (63)
(UPI) Cool It appears Victoria's Secret learned a thing or two at Comic-Con this year (slide show, but worth it)  (upi.com) (137)
(Think Progress) Fail Pennsylvania electoral vote rigging legislation appears to be dead. It's a trick. Get an axe  (thinkprogress.org) (63)


Tue November 22, 2011
(Some Guy) Scary Woman may get 50 years for decapitating boyfriend's pig. Pig will probably fry  (washington.cbslocal.com) (29)
(Space) Obvious "Why is it so hard to go to Mars?" I would like to have a serious discussion about that, but right now the Kardashians are on, followed by Dancing with the Stars  (space.com) (89)
(MSNBC) Spiffy What is the greatest Thanksgiving movie of all time? Hint: It was released 24 years ago  (entertainment.msnbc.msn.com) (82)
(Yahoo) Followup Police re-opened the Natalie Wood investigation because a totally credible witness who just happens not to have said anything to anyone for more than 20 years, says she heard Woods screaming for help on the night she died  (news.yahoo.com) (44)
(Telegraph) Interesting Remember Padre Pio, who claimed his stigmata which was observed and studied for 50 years provided UNDISPUTABLE PROOF of the existence of Christ? Um yeah, about that  (telegraph.co.uk) (225)
(History Channel) Sad 48 years ago today John F. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, the Mob, the Military Industrial Complex, Joe Pesci, and Tommy Lee Jones  (history.com) (200)


Mon November 21, 2011
(io9) Spiffy Star Wars burlesque  (io9.com) (68)


Sun November 20, 2011
(Yahoo) Cool It's 2001 again: Britney Spears looks good in a bikini  (ca.omg.yahoo.com) (87)
(Quad City Times) Sappy Woman has worked at McDonald's for over 40 years, starting when she was 36. Instead of being depressed, she seems happy about her career; "You give a little kindness, you get it back"  (qctimes.com) (226)
(YouTube) Scary Not everybody can be a stunt driver and get paid to drive fast and wreck cars spectacularly. For the rest, they drive rally cars  (youtube.com) (31)
(Fark) Spiffy We have a battle of the undefeated at the Etihad, Arsenal and Man U facing newly promoted teams and best of all, not having to pretend to care about International friendlies. It's this week's EPL thread (bumped for Sunday games)  (fark.com) (270)


Sat November 19, 2011
(YouTube) Cool If only Fiat's cars were as good as its commercials  (youtube.com) (77)
(NPR) Interesting So this 23-year old math teacher hooks up with one of her 16-year students. Guess what happens a few years later. Go on, guess  (npr.org) (74)
(ESPN) Silly "Stafford was fined $7,500 for 'grabbing an opponent by the helmet opening.' Also, Bears receiver Earl Bennett was fined $10,000 for a uniform violation; he wore dominantly orange shoes"  (espn.go.com) (80)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post sees if their readers are as clever as the FARK regulars with a link to the FARK weird news quiz  (huffingtonpost.com) (3)
(Boing Boing) Asinine NYPD cop shoves another interfering dirty hippy. Except this hippy was a NY judge there as a legal observer. Someone's walking a beat in Harlem for the next twenty years  (boingboing.net) (766)


Fri November 18, 2011
(Washington Post) Scary Malicious cyber attack by foreign hackers (looking at you Russia) that targeted a water plant in Illinois appears to be the first of its kind on a critical computer system in the United States  (washingtonpost.com) (92)
(Telegraph) Stupid After three years of intense scrutiny, the EU claims that water can not, in fact, prevent dehydration  (telegraph.co.uk) (57)
(Life.com) Misc 50 years ago today, JFK sent 18,000 military advisors to South Vietnam, ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity in Southeast Asia and forging a bond between the ... what's that? Ohhhh  (life.com) (109)
(Starpulse) Amusing When tied down and faced with a lap dance from Britney Spears, you do what you have to do to survive  (starpulse.com) (73)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Asinine Day care teacher pierces child's ears after obtaining permission from: a) the parents, b) the legal guardian, or c) the five-year-old  (star-telegram.com) (46)
(CBS News) Interesting Fifty years / By junta ruled / Now reformed / Or U.S. fooled?  (cbsnews.com) (70)
(Salon) Cool An amazingly detailed look at the design, sales and marketing of one of the most maligned cars in history--the Ford Edsel  (salon.com) (63)


Thu November 17, 2011
(Some Guy) Scary Woman who let her nine year old son drive to school: 'It's cool, he has four years of driving experience'  (delawareonline.com) (35)
(The Sun) Weird Woman has tip of pool cue lodged up her nose for 12 years. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (36)
(ESPN) Asinine Former Packer sentenced to six years in prison for painkiller possession. Guess he forgot to be a white quarterback  (espn.go.com) (38)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious 252 million years ago Earth lost most of its animals and plants because aliens ate them all, big green grasshopper aliens, with heat rays and sucking machines. OK, it could have been a volcano but I think it was aliens  (abc.net.au) (46)
(The Consumerist) Cool Amazon rekindling the smartphone wars  (consumerist.com) (16)
(PCWorld) Sad Cool: researchers have made serious advances in smartphone battery technology that should give us a week between recharges. Sad: It's still 3-5 years away from production  (pcworld.com) (61)
(Life.com) Misc 140 years ago today the National Rifle Association was founded in New York, but it would be another twelve decades before its primary goal of arming smoking hot blonde twins with powerful handguns would finally be realized  (life.com) (157)
(Huffington Post) Silly We don't have flying cars, personal commuter jetpacks or a cure for cancer yet, but we do have bacon-flavored sexual lubricant, so yay science, I guess  (huffingtonpost.com) (38)
(Boston Globe) Sad After two years of living the good life, New England's squirrels are starving on account of the smallest acorn crop in memory  (bostonglobe.com) (37)
(Statesman) Strange In Texas, the law that requires cars to display license plates expires January 1  (statesman.com) (67)


Wed November 16, 2011
(Studies in Crap) Amusing A Lesson in Copyright: One of these erotic mermaid romance novels stars a little mermaid named "Marielle" who just wants to be where the people are ... doin' it  (blogs.sfweekly.com) (24)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Silly Is "Storage Wars" star Dave Hester in a legal battle over who gets to say "YUUUP" on TV? YUUUP  (hollywoodreporter.com) (132)
(Showbiz Spy) Obvious Britney Spears to get engaged to Trainwreck soon. I mean, Trawick. I totally meant "Trawick"  (showbizspy.com) (9)
(Mirror.co.uk) Unlikely Alien craft crashes in woman's yard. Does she: a) call authorities, b) alert the media, or c) keep the alien's lifeless body in her fridge for two years?  (mirror.co.uk) (136)
(Some Guy) Sick Teacher accused of masturbating in class may have been doing it for the past 10 years. That's decadent  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (144)


Tue November 15, 2011
(Deadline) Stupid Bridesmaids for best picture at The Oscars? Perish the thought  (deadline.com) (75)
(Life.com) Amusing After 75 years and 2,237 issues, how on earth is an iconic American magazine supposed to choose its 20 worst, embarrassing, woefully god-awful and downright hideous covers of all time? LOUDLY, that's how  (life.com) (125)
(Jalopnik) Cool How penis compensation technology has evolved over the last 60 years  (jalopnik.com) (62)
(YouTube) Video Is it weird that Traci Lords has put out a good pop song when hundreds of "stars" can't even get it up without assistance?  (youtube.com) (78)
(Chicago Business) Obvious Is your fainting couch nearby? Are you prepared to clutch your pearls? It seems that the house speaker in Illinois may have been up to shady self-dealing that cost state taxpayers half a billion dollars  (chicagobusiness.com) (37)
(Science Daily) Interesting Lions and tigers' fearsome roars are due to their unique vocal cords. Oh my  (sciencedaily.com) (5)
(Sun Sentinel) Followup Now that the NBA players' union has dissolved itself, that means every player's contract becomes void. Including three high-profile stars in Miami  (sun-sentinel.com) (150)
(Deadline) Unlikely Brad Pitt gives his acting career three more years. Wow, that long, huh?  (deadline.com) (58)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Conundrum of the day: what's the right order to watch the Star Wars movies?  (denofgeek.com) (108)
(Seattle Times) Weird Not news: woman dies from gunshot. Fark: that she received 15 years ago  (today.seattletimes.com) (55)


Mon November 14, 2011
(I Heart Chaos) Cool New stills for Pixar's Brave reveal the Halloween and cosplay costumes you'll be seeing for the next five years  (iheartchaos.com) (45)
(The Hill) Fail From the party that gave us the Star Wars defense system: "Furthermore, in the movie 'G.I. Jane,' Demi Moore was waterboarded, and if it worked in a Hollywood movie, it HAS to work in real life"  (thehill.com) (236)
(Some Guy) Obvious The Congressional super-committee finds a way to save $1.2 trillion dollars in the current budget. By adding it to the deficit  (news.investors.com) (62)
(Mercury News) Scary When returning your rental car, don't forget the half million dollars worth of cocaine you hid in the doors  (mercurynews.com) (46)
(TMZ) Silly Hair removal company claims Kim Kardashian is lying about how she keeps her body free of hair, insisting the product she claims she uses all over her body, TRIA, is not safe for the "face, ears, or anus"  (tmz.com) (67)
(ESPN) Unlikely After 18 years, mixed martial arts reaches adulthood. Giggity  (espn.go.com) (60)


Sun November 13, 2011
(TMZ) Interesting Storage Wars guys find $500,000 worth of pirate gold, will use American Truckers to haul it to the Pawn Stars, who have a buddy who's an expert in pirate treasure  (tmz.com) (95)
(New York Daily News) Strange Couple has received over 150 prank 911 calls in the past two years. Don't worry though, the fact that they're Muslim in a predominantly non-Muslim area has nothing to do with it  (nydailynews.com) (128)
(ESPN) Interesting Can the Jaguars keep the Colts in the Basement? Will the Patriots find a way to lose again? Can the Bills do what they couldn't in two consecutive Super Bowls? It's the NFL Week 10 thread (games start at 1 PM ET on CBS and Fox)  (scores.espn.go.com) (3847)
(Some Guy) Sad Camera maker Olympus' kept their investment losses in the darkroom for twenty years. Story developing [Insert Photography Pun]  (digiphotomag.com) (30)


Sat November 12, 2011
(mass live) Hero New Hampshire man raises $66,000 for vets by making a million free throws over two years. In other news, Shaquille O'Neal raises $1.38  (masslive.com) (18)
(The New York Times) Spiffy Old and busted: Hearts, stars, dragons, and tramp-stamps. New hotness: science tattoos (ink, skin and science slideshow)  (nytimes.com) (20)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Iran takes one in the arsenal  (chicagotribune.com) (88)
(PCWorld) PSA Siri is only six years old. Keep that in mind the next time you ask your iPhone where you can score some Asian tranny midget hookers in Cleveland  (pcworld.com) (32)
(Daily Mail) Scary Russia's dreams of Mars end. Luckily, their crippled, toxic fuel-filled probe that's plummeting back to earth should have enough memories for us all  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)
(Marketwatch) Spiffy After some goofy years and with just a little mouse to mouse resuscitation, Disney profits soar 30%  (marketwatch.com) (18)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Nic Cage's copy of the 1938 Action Comics #1 could sell for over two million dollars. Man, for that kind of money, you could buy at least four million copies of the new Action Comics #1  (hollywoodreporter.com) (25)
(Yahoo) Scary Not news: Cold War ended years ago. News: There are still nuclear warheads out there. Fark: Here is a story including a map of where they are  (news.yahoo.com) (144)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to compete with FARK regulars, by giving a link to the FARK weird news quiz. No ... you can't take it again  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)


Fri November 11, 2011
(Miami Herald) Florida Survey finds Florida GOP voters would rather fix the economy by eliminating tax loopholes or foreign wars than cutting Social Security or Medicare. Florida tag seen recoiling in amazement  (miamiherald.com) (151)
(Jalopnik) Scary Chevy Volt draws on 100 years of GM engineering--but mostly from the Pontiac Fiero  (jalopnik.com) (87)
(Komo) Asinine Telemarketing agency raises millions for breast cancer prevention, $10 million of which mysteriously disappears. Telemarketers ask to be taken off of investigator's call list  (komonews.com) (51)
(Studies in Crap) Amusing ASCII Star Wars portraits from a 1978 computer magazine look like pretty much like needlepoint squares from a Death Star Memorial quilt  (blogs.sfweekly.com) (27)
(AnnArbor.com) Interesting Thirty-six years after its sinking, Gordon Lightfoot changes the lyrics to "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"  (annarbor.com) (113)
(BBC) Cool After 70 years, a WWII era Spitfire that crashed in 1941 is unearthed. Cool: The plane is in astounding condition. Ultracool: The Browning machine guns are built to last (w/ video)  (bbc.co.uk) (149)


Thu November 10, 2011
(Showbiz Spy) Cool Billy Crystal replaces Eddie Murphy as Oscars host. Confused? You won't be after this episode of "Soap"  (showbizspy.com) (59)
(YouTube) Video Taiwanese animators take on PSU scandal. Come for the shower scene, stay for MJ and the bouncing pedobears  (youtube.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Amusing Will Philip Rivers shiat the bed three weeks in a row? Will Carson Palmer commit a felony on the way to the game to show he's a real Raider? Your Thursday Night Football thread is here  (nfl.si.com) (1029)
(Neatorama) Silly For the Star Wars fan who has everything, here's the Han Solo in carbonite ice tray  (neatorama.com) (23)
(BBC) Interesting Greek stock market soars on news that outgoing Prime Minister Papawhatever will be replaced by incoming Prime Minister Papawhatever  (bbc.co.uk) (52)
(Slate) Amusing Vlad and Silvio through the years... Who said bromance was dead?  (slate.com) (13)
(Gothamist) Sad Only five years until climate change is irreversible... like my raincoat  (gothamist.com) (144)


Wed November 09, 2011
(Starpulse) Followup Hip-hop stars mourn Heavy D's death. Even so, they aren't exactly lining up to carry his coffin  (starpulse.com) (42)
(Canoe) Cool Canadian X-ray to get its ass to Mars  (cnews.canoe.ca) (5)
(Yahoo) Fail Russian probe to Mars comes up 47,399,950 miles short  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Engadget) Fail It looks like we have a new contender for the worst Star Wars licensing idea ever  (engadget.com) (31)
(BusinessWeek) Asinine Remember the old joke about 'If Microsoft built cars'? Well they teamed up with Ford and "drivers have to turn off and restart their car and wait for the system to reboot"  (businessweek.com) (68)
(TMZ) Dumbass Kurt Loder is still alive and saying things everyone else started saying 15 years ago  (tmz.com) (39)
(io9) Sad For the first time in 75 years, an entire genus of mammal is on the brink of extinction. Bon appétit  (io9.com) (75)


Tue November 08, 2011
(Some Guy) Strange ''The bearded woman shaves. The barista has a wide shade to cover her single eye. The woman uses a scarf to cover up her neck ears''  (scholarsandrogues.com) (34)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup 10 thoughts on Bears' win over Eagles. Excluded from these thoughts is: "Good God, the Eagles are horrible"  (chicagotribune.com) (64)
(CNNGo) Scary One night in Bangkok gotta call the Snake Catcher / The bars and temples burst with serpent fleets / You'll find a snake in every flooded cloister / And if you're lucky then it's venom-free / I can feel an viper swimming up to me  (cnngo.com) (41)
(Bloomberg) Amusing Begun, the Facebook clone wars have  (bloomberg.com) (3)
(Telegraph) Sad JFK's Swedish girlfriend dies at 79: "He made love...with a surprising innocence - swooning, sighing, weeping. At one point he lifted his eyes to the heavens and proclaimed, 'The stars, Gunilla. The stars' "  (telegraph.co.uk) (69)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool Chicago Bears get a rare vicktory over the Eagles  (chicagotribune.com) (85)
(Seattle Times) Followup 20 years ago a prominent sports figure told the world he was HIV-positive. Magically, he's still here  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (47)


Mon November 07, 2011
(Huffington Post) Interesting Wall St. banks have earned more under three years of Obama than they did under eight years of Bush. That's some fine socialism, that is  (huffingtonpost.com) (79)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool Are you ready for some Monday Night Football? Wait, can we still say that? Anyway, the Bears take on the Eagles in a vain attempt to give fans hope. It's your Monday Night Football discussion thread  (chicagotribune.com) (lots)
(Daily Mail) Amusing After 10 years, SNL finally hits one out of the chapel with their send up of the Kardashian divorce (w/video)  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)
(SeattlePI) Cool Best science experiment ever: Sending gummy bears to the depths of the South Pacific to study how the pressure will squash them  (blog.seattlepi.com) (95)


Sun November 06, 2011
(Salon) Interesting How mankind evolved into a race of deceitful liars. I question the veracity of this study  (salon.com) (87)
(Some Guy) Cool Robbed a train full of money, became a national hero, spent the best years of his life in Brazil as a free man, and received a lifetime achievement award for his services to crime - everyman's idol  (zumaworld.blogspot.com) (42)
(Fark) Spiffy Subby just ate a McRib.Yes, we know they're made of cigarette butts and toxic waste and the sauce is made of unicorn blood and the tears of orphans and they cook it by lighting Lucifer's flatulence on fire. But darn it -- it's tasty  (fark.com) (458)
(Ars Technica) Interesting Scientists discover genetic proof that beer was invented at least 40,000 years ago  (arstechnica.com) (40)
(Telegram) Interesting 140 years ago a stand-up comic bombed in Worcester. You may have heard of him  (telegram.com) (80)
(ESPN) Obvious "If [LSU-Alabama] was The Game of the Century, then I want my 100 years back...these two teams deserve a BCS championship rematch like Kim Kardashian deserves to keep her wedding gifts"  (espn.go.com) (267)


Sat November 05, 2011
(Fox News) Amusing Fox News created a list of stars with no talent. Wouldn't it have just been easier to list the few with talent?  (foxnews.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Interesting Not news: Underground fire in an old abandoned mine proves difficult to extinguish Holy Fark: It's been burning for 70 years  (ksl.com) (84)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Star Trek episode banned for 43 years in Germany finally airs. Ya, you know what one  (dailymail.co.uk) (156)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to compete with FARK regulars, by giving a link to the FARK weird news quiz  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)
(Guardian) Strange Cash-strapped Scotland Yard tells TV documentary producers that to be featured on any of their programmes, they charge £500 a day and 15% of overseas and merch profits, plus additional fees for use of bikes, cars, dogs and horses, plus VAT  (guardian.co.uk) (16)


Fri November 04, 2011
(Detroit News) Dumbass MSW pretends to be MD for at least eight years, ordering treatments and testifying for a county court the whole time  (detnews.com) (37)
(Some Puzzled Guy) Strange "Very powerful" unknown force crushes a whole block full of cars in Washington DC. Nobody heard anything and the police don't know anything about it  (wusa9.com) (243)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man who stole checks at interview doesn't get the job, but does get 3-6 years in prison  (journalstar.com) (43)
(11 Alive) Fail Like three of those useless fat red birds, a trio of burglars tries and fails to break into Apple store  (alpharetta.11alive.com) (51)
(Mother Nature Network) Interesting Russian officials are about to open up the hatch to a windowless cell that's been sealed for 520-days as part of a simulaton to Mars. How much you wanna bet all they find the crew all dead and a slug-like alien crawling around inside?  (mnn.com) (76)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Dumbass Wife suspects her husband of cheating, so she drives to his workplace and finds him talking to a strange woman. Then she punches him in the face, tears off his shirt, hits him with a rubber hose, and runs him down with her car  (press-citizen.com) (73)
(Mirror.co.uk) Unlikely A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away a Star Wars fan killed his smoking hot Asian wife for smashing up his toy collection  (mirror.co.uk) (314)


Thu November 03, 2011
(Scientific American) Cool An interactive map showing where we left our crap on Mars  (scientificamerican.com) (16)
(Boing Boing) Fail Twin Rivers police stops selling T-shirt showing child behind bars along with "U Raise 'Em, We Cage 'Em" text. Subby is offended: "tase" would have been a much better rhyme than "cage"  (boingboing.net) (120)
(Huffington Post) Scary Cliff near Wisconsin power plant collapses, depositing frothy slurry of coal ash--a hearty blend of selenium, lead, mercury and arsenic--into the cool blue waters of Lake Michigan. Drink up, folks  (huffingtonpost.com) (170)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Not news: Unhappy with wedding pictures, man sues photographer. News: Six years later. Fark.com: He wants to recreate the images 6 years later, after he's already divorced, and after his wife has moved to Latvia  (msnbc.msn.com) (117)
(New York Magazine) Interesting About five years ago, we were lamenting the loss of sitcoms on TV. due to Reality TV. Now, sitcoms are back, but we're still wondering where our good dramas are  (nymag.com) (100)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Don't call it a comeback. Roger Clemens has been here for years  (nydailynews.com) (15)
(CNBC) Unlikely The Dow could reach 100,000 in 20 years, according to an author that just discovered crack cocaine, angel dust, and probably some peyote thrown in for good measure  (cnbc.com) (113)
(WorldNetDaily) Scary 11/11/11 protesters call for resignation of Obama, VP Joe Biden, the Fartbama cabinet, staff and the unelected czars, as well Supreme Court justices chosen by Taxbama  (wnd.com) (223)
(Talking Points Memo) Sad Four Georgia senior citizens arrested for plotting to attack Americans with a bio-weapon, wearing unlicensed onions on their belts   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (120)


Wed November 02, 2011
(Life.com) Spiffy New and busted: A Republican Party in thrall to evangelicals. Old hotness: A Republican Party where women smoked cigars, gambled, drank booze, and weren't afraid to show a little "phony bush of pectoral hair"  (life.com) (76)
(LA Times) Sad City of Compton finds itself in full financial meltdown -- despite being solidly in the black only a few short years ago  (latimes.com) (99)
(AZCentral) Interesting L.A. is raising its barking dog fine to $250. This could get very expensive for Britney Spears during her next concert  (azcentral.com) (31)
(Houston Press) Sick Texas judge sentences disabled teen to harsh punishment for file sharing  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (605)
(With Leather) Scary If the villain from "Cape Fear" covered himself with Chicago Bears tattoos, he'd be this guy  (withleather.uproxx.com) (13)
(Grantland) Interesting Week 10 in the Premier League: Chelsea v. Arsenal was "an incredible, 90-minute sales pitch on why this can be the most electrifying sport in the world"  (grantland.com) (24)
(CNN) Followup Japan: "Damaged reactors could take 30 years to retire" Americans: "That whole mess is still going on? Sheesh, we're a little pre-occupied over here with the Kardashian melt-down, okay? Try to keep up  (articles.cnn.com) (49)
(Life.com) Spiffy 65 years ago today Howard Hughes flies his "Spruce Goose," with the largest wingspan in the history of aviation, for roughly a mile over Long Beach Harbor, celebrates by peeing into commemorative platinum milk bottle  (life.com) (64)
(SFGate) Asinine Two years ago: California can build a great high-speed rail system for $43 billion. Today: uh, it'll actually be $98.1 billion and an extra nine years, but we start building next year--in between Bakersfield and Fresno  (sfgate.com) (265)
(CSMonitor) Interesting 'Prius of bicycles' switches gears by reading your mind. Smugness meters explode  (csmonitor.com) (29)
(Yahoo) Interesting R.I.P. to 14 cars and trucks for 2012  (autos.yahoo.com) (363)
(Daily Mail) Asinine News: Bank of America forecloses on homeowner, three years after his house is destroyed by a hurricane. Fark: The homeowner had continued to make mortgage payments on the property  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(io9) Strange Q: How did the Welsh chicken dresser smell after he cut his finger? A: With his nose, and also awful for five years  (io9.com) (8)


Tue November 01, 2011
(YouTube) Video Forty years ago, Frank Zappa brought us "200 Motels" in the movie theatres. "So long as I get some beer and I get paid, you can make me do anything, I'm professional" -- Lonesome Cowboy Burt  (youtube.com) (62)
(Guardian) Followup So turns out Newscorp and everyone involved with the News of the World hacking mess were aware of what was going on about 3 years before it was blown open  (guardian.co.uk) (44)
(Washington Post) Asinine Butt could face seven years in PMITA prison after being found guilty of ensuring the delivery of three intentional no-balls  (washingtonpost.com) (12)
(CNBC) Fail That bear market may have only been a Cub, which means everyone can expect it to lose for the next 100+ years  (cnbc.com) (26)
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Congress finally realizes that repealing Glass Steagle was the stupidest thing they've done in the past 15 years  (businessweek.com) (193)
(NBC Sports) Amusing After explaining how Oakland's young group of wide receivers shouldn't be pushed aside to make room for Terrell Owens, Carson Palmer explains how they should be pushed aside to make room for TJ Houshmandzadeh   (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (36)
(Fox News) NewsFlash Boeing 767 crash lands in Warsaw, Poland with no injuries. Survivors will be buried later this afternoon  (foxnews.com) (215)
(Some Guy) Spiffy AC Milan, Barca, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Porto are among the teams in action in today's Champions League thread  (uefa.com) (31)


Mon October 31, 2011
(Tom's Guide) Stupid "I invented the PDA 34 years ago. Thus, I'm suing every large telecommunications company out there"  (tomsguide.com) (14)
(Some Guy) Cool Jessica Simpson confirms that she has been pregnant for the past six years  (scoop.today.msnbc.msn.com) (38)
(Washington Post) Dumbass Woman gets 54 years in pizza murder. Geez, should subby call a lawyer? He just killed two larges last night  (washingtonpost.com) (40)
(The Morning Call) Scary It's like "Goldilocks and the Three Bears," only with a blood-covered stranger and two college students  (mcall.com) (27)
(Reuters) Asinine Back there, I could fly a gunship. I could drive a tank. I operated million-dollar equipment. Back here, I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS  (reuters.com) (106)


Sun October 30, 2011
(Some Guy) Photoshop "My god, it's full of stars"  (universetoday.com) (54)
(USA Today) Sad Scientists say that big cats like lions and tigers could be extinct in 20 years. Sports fans in Detroit rush to stock up on team memorabilia  (usatoday.com) (35)
(SeattlePI) Sick Skipper gets three years in prison for rape. Poor Gilligan  (seattlepi.com) (80)


Sat October 29, 2011
(Gloucester Times) Misc Twenty years ago six fishermen died so we could have one of the most overused metaphors of our generation  (gloucestertimes.com) (112)
(MSNBC) Scary Vampire stars, Frankensatellites, Children of the Corn and a meteor shower. Your all star Halloween lineup... FROM SPACE  (msnbc.msn.com) (6)
(Science Daily) Obvious Scientists record dream content for first time, find of course that you're at a meeting and you forgot to wear your pants and the boss is asking you to go to lunch and already the marshmallow spider monkeys are laughing at you  (sciencedaily.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Cool Chelsea face Arsenal, Manchester United play Everton and there's a bunch of other games. Welcome to this week's EPL discussion thread  (football365.com) (338)


Fri October 28, 2011
(Celebslam) Obvious Britney Spears has been helping herself to British cuisine. Specifically, all of it  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (106)
(The Atlantic Wire) Unlikely The internet hasn't changed much in 15 years, although the headlines are way more meta  (theatlanticwire.com) (81)
(People Magazine) Sappy Comedian Mario Cantone marries his partner of 20 years. FABULOUS  (people.com) (33)
(AZCentral) Weird Burglars break into church, leave a buck  (azcentral.com) (12)
(My Fox DC) Amusing Years of complaining about my wife's food and I never got a pole-dance  (myfoxdc.com) (19)
(Detroit News) Spiffy Chrysler reports another quarter of huge profits, unreliable cars  (detnews.com) (22)


Thu October 27, 2011
(Telegraph) Scary It's bad enough you burglars broke in and stole my stuff, but at least shut the window when you're done so a fox can't sneak in and eat my child  (telegraph.co.uk) (98)
(Computerworld) Obvious Microsoft clears Czech  (computerworld.com) (8)
(The Consumerist) Advice If you don't want a $44,500 fine, don't leave your car parked illegally for 1,800 years  (consumerist.com) (77)
(Fox News) Cool Poor clerk from India, making $120 a month, wins the million dollars on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. They should make a movie about this  (foxnews.com) (54)
(Short List) Dumbass John McCain tells a moderately funny joke (27 times in the last five years)  (shortlist.com) (74)


Wed October 26, 2011
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Interesting Radioactive used cars now being sold in Japan. Oh, those Japanese and their crazy brand of try-anything consumerism  (nbclosangeles.com) (49)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious A pathologist says Amy Winehouse consumed large a quantity of alcohol prior to death, in a time period estimated to be 18 years  (chicagotribune.com) (62)
(MDC.mo.gov) Scary The Missouri Department of Conservation would like to warn hunters and other nature enthusiasts about various outdoor dangers this season, including snakes, mountain lions, zombies and bears. Wait, what?  (mdc.mo.gov) (55)
(Gawker) Strange While I'm sure we can all agree that waffles and pancakes are important, one Senator from Vermont wants to make selling 'fake' maple syrup a federal felony carrying up to five years in jail. What a sap  (gawker.com) (163)


Tue October 25, 2011
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting The good news: There was a massive income growth in the Reagan and post-Reagan years, particularly during the George W. Bush administration. The bad news: But only for the famous 1 percenters - everybody else got hosed  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (142)
(Some Guy) Ironic Occupy Wall Street has amassed nearly a half million dollars in donations, putting them in the top 1% of Occupy movements  (businessinsider.com) (68)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool USMC celebrates 70 years of dark green Marines  (suntimes.com) (146)
(Some Guy) Florida Teacher could face thousands of dollars in fines for helping students register to vote. Wait, what?  (thepoliticalcarnival.net) (126)
(Glendale News Press) Dumbass L.A.'s "Love Ride" Grand Marshall Jay Leno joked about the fundraiser's untarnished safety record, and his desire to see "somebody go down". Guess what happened for the first time in the ride's 28 year history?  (glendalenewspress.com) (103)


Mon October 24, 2011
(SeattlePI) Stupid Step one: Inform federal marshals that your Sovereign Citizen movement intends to arrest local mayors. Resulting arrests and investigation means we never get to find out what steps two or three are  (seattlepi.com) (76)
(ESPN) Interesting Will the Ravens murder their opponents, or do the Jaguars stand a chance at winning a second game this season? It's Monday Night Football on ESPN (Game starts at 8:30 PM)  (espn.go.com) (1432)
(BBC) Sad 109 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds  (bbc.co.uk) (65)
(USA Today) Followup The largest measles outbreak in over 15 years is the result of unvaccinated children and adults, most of whom are probably affiliated with quack chiropractors  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (259)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Scientists claim ancient spear lodged in mastodon skeleton proves humans populated North America 1,000 years earlier than previously thought. Still looking for foot-powered cars and record players made from birds  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Some Guy) Survey Vote for the next Star Wars action figure from Hasbro: Decide which Star Wars character will go into production next  (titanmagazines.com) (87)
(Daily Mail) Interesting 150 years ago the U.S.'s first social network opened. Status: ...--...--.-.-..--..-..- stop  (dailymail.co.uk) (83)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Twenty tons of debris from Japan heading towards Hawaii and should reach there in two years or so, provided there isn't a big wave. EVERYBODY PANIC  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)


Sun October 23, 2011
(Telegraph) Interesting Within five years America will be well on its way to self-sufficiency in fuel and energy  (telegraph.co.uk) (208)
(YouTube) Cool Three ordinary cop cars. One Nissan with epic drifting skills. FIGHT  (youtube.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Happy birthday Earth, 6015 years old today. Hey, she's legal in Europe  (weblogs.marylandweather.com) (172)
(YouTube) Spiffy After five years, man reunited with gorilla in West Africa which he raised from childhood. Heavy dust in the air  (youtube.com) (51)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Are Arsenal this season's Liverpool? Will the Toon be able to keep hold of a top four spot? All this plus a take-no-prisoners Manchester derby in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk) (479)
(Engadget) Strange It's 2011 and still no flying cars. We do have bicycles that play vinyl records, though  (engadget.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Cool Study pushes origin of land life back from 6000 to 6027 years ago  (vancouversun.com) (35)
(Boing Boing) Sick S.978: The copyright gestapo now want to put you in jail for five years for posting a video of yourself singing on Youtube  (boingboing.net) (67)


Sat October 22, 2011
(CBS News) Sick A dozen pharmaceutical companies have given doctors and other healthcare providers more than $760 million over the past two years - and those companies' sales comprise 40 percent of the U.S. market  (cbsnews.com) (58)
(Suddeutsche Zeitung) Weird "Existential anxiety" leads priest to skim from collection plate for 40 years, amassing a 1 million euros hoard. Fark: He never spent a cent of it  (worldcrunch.com) (94)
(Miami Herald) Florida Mess with the bull, get the hundred thousand dollars  (miamiherald.com) (8)
(Some Guy) Sad On the internet people are debating whether the Gaddafi death pictures are too graphic. I just want him not to decompose before he stars in Weekend at Moammar's  (huffingtonpost.ca) (60)


Fri October 21, 2011
(Warming Glow) Cool Mr. Belding from "Saved by the Bell" is touring bars across the country. Also, it would appear that he ate Screech  (warmingglow.uproxx.com) (34)
(Warming Glow) Video The best thing you're going to see all week: Watch a full grown man break into tears because he is forced to pet a puppy. Includes bonus gallery of terrifying puppies  (warmingglow.uproxx.com) (87)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy DNA Clearinghouse receives giant novelty check for $6.5 million, 14 years of unwanted magazine subscriptions  (physorg.com) (4)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida It only took Universal Orlando twelve years to realize having two intertwined roller coasters that speed along their tracks at up to 60 mph and pass within 18 inches of each other might be dangerous  (palmbeachpost.com) (71)


Thu October 20, 2011
(YouTube) Spiffy Overlooked new feature of the Star Wars Blu-Ray: More Porkins  (youtube.com) (29)
(Slate) Stupid Scam artists posing as famous athletes have been fooling the public for years: a pudgy sex offender pretending to be Vince Young, a petty thief claiming he was Ben Roethlisberger, Jay Cutler posing as an NFL quarterback, etc  (slate.com) (28)
(Billboard) Dumbass After Maroon 5 Lead Singer tweets butthurt over Fox News using his songs for bumper music, hosts of FNC's Red Eye remind him how ASCAP/BMI & flamewars work  (billboard.com) (67)
(Metro) Interesting This definitely bears...I mean, coyotes repeating  (metro.co.uk) (22)
(Think Progress) Followup Herman Cain swears his 9-9-9 plan has a super secret program to help the poor that he hasn't told anyone about yet. Something about cake and allowing them to eat it  (thinkprogress.org) (213)
(CNN) Interesting It appears a simple chin lift could have saved Michael Jackson's life. Is there anything plastic surgery can't do?  (cnn.com) (34)


Wed October 19, 2011
(Examiner) Sad Why so serious? Because Mark Hamill is stepping down as the voice of the Joker after 19 years  (examiner.com) (83)
(ESPN) Spiffy AC Milan v. BATE, Chelsea v. Genk, Olympiakos v. Dortmund, Barcelona v. Viktoria Plzen, Marseille v. Arsenal, and some other games. It's your special midweek Champions League thread  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (23)
(Science Daily) Interesting Blade production lines existed as much as 400,000 years ago. Some motherfarker's always trying to ice-skate uphill  (sciencedaily.com) (4)
(YouTube) Amusing How many Dallas Stars does it take to beat the Columbus Blue Jackets? Just one  (youtube.com) (30)
(Michelle Malkin) Obvious "Some of us have consistently opposed these trillion-dollar handouts and redistributions of wealth for years and held politicians in BOTH parties accountable" and it wasn't the Occupy Wall Street movement  (michellemalkin.com) (203)
(I Heart Chaos) Amusing Forty four years ago this Friday, Abbie Hoffman and Allen Ginsberg tried exorcising and levitating the Pentagon. Man, the drugs were so much better in the late 60s  (iheartchaos.com) (66)


Tue October 18, 2011
(WTVN) Strange Man dead as lions, cheetahs, wolves, camels, and bears escape exotic farm in Ohio. EVERYBODY PANIC  (610wtvn.com) (257)
(The Daily Beast) Spiffy While lawmakers in the US hem and haw over a few billion dollars, European leaders have agreed to a two-trillion euro rescue fund. Go big or go home, indeed  (thedailybeast.com) (108)
(Some Guy) Sad Social Security recipients to receive additional 38 dollars a month next year. Bank Of America to add a 38 dollar monthly fee for being old  (fundmymutualfund.com) (80)
(NPR) Obvious Ron Paul releases his own budget plan: trim a trillion dollars his first year in office, end the departments of everything, end foreign wars, kill social security, let States decide everything. RON PAUL  (npr.org) (266)
(The New York Times) Obvious Groupon CEO hopes to pocket a few hundred million more dollars before the company goes under  (dealbook.nytimes.com) (21)
(Some Tree Hugger) Sappy 5 Bears, 1 Tree  (dailyinterlake.com) (26)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup The Bears, who have been dragging their feet about resigning Matt Forte, may want to move quickly, as at least two teams have expressed an interest in him. But that would require a Chicago sports team to be smart, which is impossible  (chicagotribune.com) (71)
(SFGate) Cool Robert Hays talks about filming Airplane 31 years ago, still doesn't eat the fish  (sfgate.com) (80)
(BBC) Misc Man City v Villarreal, Lille v Inter, Napoli v Bayern, Real v Lyon, Marseille v Arsenal and more. Your Champions League matchday 3 is here  (news.bbc.co.uk) (24)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Car tears Dunkin' a new doughnut hole. A cruller fate I have never known  (orlandosentinel.com) (30)
(Gawker) Spiffy Britney Spears forgoes dancing for multiple sex scenes in new music video  (gawker.com) (49)
(The New York Times) Interesting Darpa symposium debates possibility of 100-year starship to other worlds. On the downside, interstellar travelers would hear endless loop of "Sara" and "We Built This City"  (nytimes.com) (42)
(BBC) Misc Gilad Shalit to be returned after five years in captivity, but handlebar mustache and 'fro remain in terrorists' hands  (bbc.co.uk) (86)


Mon October 17, 2011
(Some Geezer) Florida There are a lot of fun things senior citizens can do to pass the time. For example there's shuffle board, canasta, arson, bingo... Wait, what?  (whnz.com) (14)
(ESPN) Obvious That guy, that guy is a broadcaster. You take what a broadcaster needs and you find it in that guy. For the next 5 years, that will be the guy announcing for ESPN  (espn.go.com) (65)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Don't call it a comeback, the market's been farked for years  (finance.yahoo.com) (9)


Sun October 16, 2011
(YouTube) Spiffy Gears Of War 3, a hot girl with tats, and a chainsaw. What's not to love?  (youtube.com) (65)
(BBC) Cool Released after 26 years for a murder he did not commit, man turns to life of violence  (bbc.co.uk) (26)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Catholic church steals, sells 300,000 babies in Spain over 50 years. Well, they have to make money somehow  (dailymail.co.uk) (136)


Sat October 15, 2011
(Slate) PSA Do you have inquisitive children that are huge Star Wars fans but are flummoxed by the prequels? Here's a guide for parents to handle the strain of the prequels without having to watch them  (slate.com) (53)
(YouTube) Hero 64 years ago today, Chuck Yeager got inside Glamorous Glennis and beat the demon who lived in the air at Mach 1  (youtube.com) (144)

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