Headlines matching 'Ars'
Sat February 11, 2012
Fri February 10, 2012
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If we timewarped back by 2000 years, what job would you be most qualified to do? No, you can't bring any modern tech with you (fark.com)
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Reese Witherspoon wears her best "look at me, look at me, look at me" dress. It worked (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
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Despite their efforts to convince you otherwise, many "foodies" can't, in a blind taste test, tell white wine from red, pate from dog food, or that the chips they're eating are soggy if you make crunching sounds in their ears (npr.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's been five years since Anna Nicole Smith's anus was deemed to be unremarkable (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Advocate) |
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Obama LGBT dinner expected to raise a fabulous $1.5 million dollars (advocate.com)
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List of Germany's best actors, past and present. Wait until Hitler hears about this (thelocal.de)
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Just like their cars, two Ford execs quit after 25,000 miles (finance.yahoo.com)
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George Will nearly fogs up his wire rimmed glasses in a rage: "Republicans who think America is being endangered by "appeasement" and military parsimony have worked that pedal on their organ quite enough" Oh snap (washingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kathleen Kit is officially the most old school Nintendo gamer of all time...no seriously, she's 100 years old (gizmowatch.com)
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$5.2b Tappan Zee project gets bids from four qualified contractors, who will keep the $7.1 billion project within its $8.9 billion budget in five years, at which point the $13 billion bridge will cost an estimated $19.6 billion (blogs.wsj.com)
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What would you do with an empty hospital? BTW, the winning idea gets a million dollars (buffalonews.com)
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North Korea reacts to new U.S. marshmallow cannon (collegehumor.com)
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The world lost a great comedian 12 years ago today, know what I mean Vern? Bonus: graduated from same high school Drew did (en.wikipedia.org)
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Movie star tries to enlist in the Army Air Corps. Rejected. He tries again. Same result. He finally gets in, flies dozens of combat missions, rises from private to full colonel in four years. Where's the movie about THAT? (life.time.com)
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Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
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Winning: The American public's dependence on the federal government shot up 23% in just two years under President Obama, with 67 million now relying on some federal program (news.investors.com)
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From the "Why Haven't They Been Doing That All Along?" files: Congress introduces legislation to limit levels of lead and arsenic in fruit juice. Next up - Bringing down the levels of broken glass in breakfast cereal (consumerist.com)
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My God, it's full of ANCIENT stars (io9.com)
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You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed (nbcbayarea.com)
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Are robot cars legal? If not, who volunteers to tell them? (wired.com)
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The devastating effects of contraception are on display today, as the teen birth rate and abortion rate have both dropped to their lowest levels in nearly 40 years (msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sprint gained, that's right, Sprint gained a net 1.6 million customers last quarter, the best result in 6 years, giving them their highest subscriber base ever. And Sprint lost 1.3 billion dollars last quarter (techcrunch.com)
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American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo? (washingtonpost.com)
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President Obama helps launch a marshmallow across the State Dining Room. SCIENCE (youtube.com)
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Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars, don't let them end. Happy 80th Birthday John Williams (youtube.com)
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Air Marshals gone wild--what really goes on behind the scenes (abcnews.go.com)
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| (Arms and the Law) |
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We couldn't get him to eat his own mother, but forcing Rahm Emanuel to write a check to the Second Amendment Foundation is the next best thing. Your tears, Rahm. Let me taste them (armsandthelaw.com)
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Think you're a nerd? Think again. This guy created a huge family tree of Middle Earth which took six years (geekout.blogs.cnn.com)
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Tue February 07, 2012
Mon February 06, 2012
Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
Thu February 02, 2012
Wed February 01, 2012
Tue January 31, 2012
Mon January 30, 2012
Sun January 29, 2012
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Restaurant owner discovers that over the years, people have tacked more than $10,000 in one-dollar bills to his cafe's walls. Donates 3-grand to the Boy Scouts and the rest to a hospital. Man, did those bills have a lot of dust on them (seattlepi.com)
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How does a paralyzed man end 19 years of silence? With the phrase: "I love you, ma" (thesun.co.uk)
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Will Kane's Libertarian hate or John Cena's constipated face win the day? Will SHOOOOOOOW or Mizark squash Daniel Bryan like so many peas? Who will this years surprise entrants be? It's the 25th Royal Rumble, live on PPV at 8 PM ET (bleacherreport.com)
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Over 30 years later, people are still trying to explain Stanley Kubrick's film "The Shining." A new documentary explores a number of crazy theories and the pecan logs who believe them (nytimes.com)
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Will the NFC defeat the AFC again? With a decent team around him, will Cam Newton prove he's the best in the world? Will this game matter? WHAR TEBOW, WHAR? It's the NFC All Stars vs. the AFC All Stars in the Pro Bowl, 7 PM ET on NBC (scores.espn.go.com)
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150 years after the war, a state struggles to heal the wounds that still cut deep. No, not that state. Aaaand, not that war (startribune.com)
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Parking Wars, Cupcake Wars, Storage Wars, etc... What kind of _____ "Wars" show would you want to see? (en.wikipedia.org)
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55-year-old Florida man claiming Indian descent wears war paint, headdresses, and performs sacred dance ceremonies at heritage festivals across the state. Some Native Americans have a problem with this (w/ pic of alleged Indian) (heraldtribune.com)
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Sat January 28, 2012
Fri January 27, 2012
Thu January 26, 2012
Wed January 25, 2012
Tue January 24, 2012
Mon January 23, 2012
Sun January 22, 2012
Sat January 21, 2012
Fri January 20, 2012
Thu January 19, 2012
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Barack Obama's presidency, three years on - is it time to give up hope? Many one-time believers now say he has no stomach for a fight (guardian.co.uk)
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| (Politifact) |
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Romney warns the loss of 15 horse-calvary regiments since 1941 has left the nation vulnerable to bands of renegade native americans, hussars, and dragoons (politifact.com)
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10 years ago today either the Patriots dynasty was born or you watched the Raiders get jobbed by the NFL in the worst way imaginable, depending on where you live. Happy 10th anniversary to the Tuck Rule game (espn.go.com)
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Years from now, when your kids ask you what a "Kodak" was, you can show them this slide show. On your iPhone (guardian.co.uk)
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Violinist on the Costa Concordia disapears when attempting to relive one of the last scenes of Titanic. Gentlemen, it's been an honor (nydailynews.com)
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Been asleep the last 100 years? This will get you caught up on what you missed (youtube.com)
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Ancient find shows people have been bringing popcorn to arguments 1,000 years longer than previously thought (theregister.co.uk)
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Andrew Sullivan claims that tax rates are at 50 year lows, which is true provided you ignore the past 50 years of data. Why are Obama's cheerleaders so dumb? (newsbusters.org)
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The mysterious man who came upon midnights clear and dreary for seventy years to toast at the grave of Edgar Allen Poe on his birthday, it appears, shall come nevermore (abcnews.go.com)
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Average age of U.S. autos now two years older than length of average marriage. As expected, both eventually will be replaced with newer models having less mileage (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)
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13 years, 252 games. The longest winning streak in college sports is over (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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| (Some Half Naked Chick) |
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Apparently, the idea of posing for pics with half-naked chicks on the top of police cars hasn't gotten old for policemen in California (wtsp.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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An Infographic demonstrating how, for over 100 years, the entertainment industry has always called every innovation "dangerous," always tried to kill or regulate it, and always been totally and utterly wrong (addictinginfo.org)
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Wed January 18, 2012
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In 2007 I got boobies in thread # 306557 and still don't know what the hell boobies is. I'm going on five years, can someone explain what boobies is? Tag's for me ;) (fark.com)
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ABC News discovers millions of Romney's dollars in Cayman Islands accounts tied to a P.O. box there (abcnews.go.com)
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The producers of Farscape are making a Firefly-esque space-western with an MMO tie-in for Syfy. It was cancelled before they even finished the announcement (io9.com)
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New Volkswagen Star Wars commercial will have you howling for joy (youtube.com)
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Nine years on Fark and not a single greenlight. How much bourbon do I have to send these guys? (fark.com)
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Religious leaders sign letter opposing gay marriage because if it were legal, they'd be seen "as bigots, subjecting them to the full arsenal of government punishments and pressures reserved for racists" (sltrib.com)
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Some young stars may be much older than previously thought. The opposite could be said of Lindsay Lohan (sciencedaily.com)
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| (PANDACAM) |
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Since Drew is greenlighting any old thing until the whiskey wears off, I give you - PANDACAM The San Diego Zoo's webcam of these enchanting creatures oh just click the damn link already (sandiegozoo.org)
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Mitt Romney is a kind and generous soul who has been giving millions of dollars per year to one particular charity. And that "charity" is a certain church known for its magic underwear, golden tablets, and talking rocks (news.yahoo.com)
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Astronomers aim to achieve what pornographers have been doing for years (news.discovery.com)
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Lady Gaga claims to have invented 'avant-garde techno rock'. Only 35 years after Devo did it, close enough (3news.co.nz)
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Don't call it a comeback, he's been here for years (reuters.com)
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If SOPA was from Star Wars and PIPA was from Star Trek, and the two somehow had a battle in space, would you still be a virgin? (fark.com)
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3,500 year old cypress tree was destroyed by lightning, not arson. Where's your God now? (abcnews.go.com)
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Study finds that the US economy is losing its competitive edge, citing complex taxes, ineffective politics and lagging schools. Fortunately, US still strongly in first place in political theater and generating annoying reality TV stars (chicagotribune.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ive been a Farker for almost 10 years and have never gotten one damn greenlight...so here's the BattleTech Wiki (sarna.net)
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Crude oil back over $100/barrel on news of Britney Spears sex book (upi.com)
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Upcoming tell-all book claims Britney Spears had wild lesbian orgies with her dancing girls while on tour, just like in your fantasies (thesun.co.uk)
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TSA apologizes for strip searching elderly women...also, ugly women, men, women with small boobs, people with hideous disfiguring scars, and pets (nydailynews.com)
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Tue January 17, 2012
Mon January 16, 2012
Sun January 15, 2012
Sat January 14, 2012
Fri January 13, 2012
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The breakdown of the budget for Star Wars in 1977. Inflation is a biatch (io9.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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We all know it can be a chore to check how well your handgun has held up over the years, but walking around a densely populated urban area randomly firing your .38 is cutting a few too many corners (today.seattletimes.com)
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| (Some Nanny) |
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Couple clears weeds and trash from public land near their home. Does the city a) thank them b) reward them or c) tell them to buy a license for the work or put the weeds back? (mailonsunday.co.uk)
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Owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars says you're not a true fan unless you hold season tickets (consumerist.com)
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Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta reunited 34 years after starring together in Grease. In the interim, she's lost her boobies and he's grown some (dailymail.co.uk)
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US warning of terror threat in Bangkok, believe it could happen anywhere, be it bars, temples, or 'massage parlors, even chess matches (chicagotribune.com)
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| (The Truth About Cars) |
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Not News: People are stealing cars. News: Car thieves are getting more technologically sophisticated. FARK: They can steal it while you're farking driving it (thetruthaboutcars.com)
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Pirates In Outboard Skiff:0 Spanish Warship:1 (abcnews.go.com)
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Japan's sixth prime minister in the last five years shuffles cabinet, deck chairs (reuters.com)
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It's Friday the 13th, a day in which close to one billion dollars is lost from people missing work because too scared to leave their homes, losses to airlines from fear of flying, and mirror breakage (cbc.ca)
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| (Some Guy) |
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50-year-old news anchor with more than 20 years experience is shocked to discover she's being replaced by her 26-year-old female co-anchor (bismarcktribune.com)
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Liverpool FC fans get the NIAC vibe after spotting Sami Nasri on the way home from City's 1-0 loss to Liverpool: "How do you like that you f****** Arsenal reject" (video, Not safe for work language) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Thu January 12, 2012
Wed January 11, 2012
Tue January 10, 2012
Mon January 09, 2012
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Thierry Henry nets the game winner as it's 1-nil to the Arsenal. No, this is not a repeat (espn.go.com)
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Mitt Romney never wanted to run for President, which is why he has been doing it for the last seven years (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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A $45-million Homeland Security program that wastes taxpayers' dollars and fails to make a single citizen more secure? How can that be? (suntimes.com)
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| (NFL.com) |
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O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore wilt thou be for the next three years? A: Kansas City (nfl.com)
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New England Journal of Medicine celebrates 200 years of publishing key advances like anesthesia, cancer surgery, germ theory, Nazi eugenics, and organ transplants (lowellsun.com)
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| (TorrentFreak) |
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The Missionary Church of Kopimism (file sharing) is now recognized as an official religion in Sweden. A Catholic bishop has just labeled it "farcical" since it has no God. Wait until this guy hears about Buddhism (torrentfreak.com)
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How to dress for success in Florida: Man wears "how to cook crack" shirt to court appearance on drug charges (local10.com)
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It only took 60 years, but details finally emerge on how Queen Elizabeth II came to power (dailymail.co.uk)
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"The Butthole", "Deep Arse", "Snot Bog", "Meat Lake", and "Piss Mountain". These are all fantastic names for towns (thelocal.se)
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| (Nuke The Fridge) |
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Two-fisted hero of viral video "Star Wars Nerd vs. Punk" bounces back from Stage 3 brain cancer, seeks tax-deductible donations to run Disney World marathon. Still no cure for Han firing first (nukethefridge.com)
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Sun January 08, 2012
Sat January 07, 2012
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Condition of victim of John Wayne Gacy, murdered 35 years ago, recently upgraded to 'alive' (news.blogs.cnn.com)
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Mae Jemison, America's first black female astronaut and famed for her cameo on ST:TNG, named to head DARPA's 100-year starship project (bbc.co.uk)
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Automotive engineers have considerably improved the efficiency of car engines over the last 30 years, but almost all of those gains have been eaten up by making bigger and heavier cars. Minivan, pickup, and SUV drivers, we're looking at you (physorg.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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63 years ago, a broke student was handed an envelope with $200 in to finish school, and was told to pay it forward once he was able to. Now, he's giving back $1000000 (winnipegfreepress.com)
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Good God...David Bowie is 65??? Here he is with his Spiders From Mars on the BBC from 1973...LIVE and not seen in 39 years...The Jean Genie (youtube.com)
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Elizabeth Warren, our famed champion against the evil corporations, has taken in 40 million from corporations in the last 7 years (bostonherald.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The lack of snow is costing Americans tens of millions of dollars. Could someone figure out the exact right amount of snow so we can coordinate our prayers, please? (weather.com)
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Study finds high-fat foods cause brain scarring -- but that's cool, zombie chicks dig brain scars (ktvz.com)
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Fri January 06, 2012
Thu January 05, 2012
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Richard Alf, one of Comic-Con's founders, dead at 59. Services will be held on Planet Melmac, located six parsecs past the Hydra-Centaurus Supercluster (web.utsandiego.com)
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| (Some Fools) |
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Burglars break into house, steal coin collection worth thousands -- then proceed to dump it all in coin counting machine, netting $450 (kptv.com)
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| (Some Brit) |
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Britney Spears can't stop looking at engagement ring, reinforcing stereotypes (digitalspy.com)
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Pepsi turns the cola wars into a war of attrition (cnbc.com)
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Canada's answer to Glenn Beck gives a reasoned, articulate response to a company's boycott of tarsands oil. Just kidding, he tells the senior VP to go f*ck his mother (thestar.com)
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David Beckham bewildered about why people think he is a secret homosexual. In other news, Mr Beckham stars in a new underwear campaign that proudly exhibits his groin bulge (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Obama to end Kennedy's Flexible response defensive strategy. Conservatives respond with harsh remarks criticizing the font size used on the draft report (npr.org)
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US arson suspect faces German fire probe. German fire prober tells him he's facing the wrong direction (google.com)
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When a judge finds it "highly implausible" 11 panelists would "stick their noses in jars of excrement and report 44 independent times that they smelled nothing unpleasant," you'll probably have to pull your commercial (chron.com)
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Jenny McCarthy says she won't do "Dancing with the Stars" because they never get any A-list talent on the show. In related news, Jenny McCarthy thinks she's A-list talent (starpulse.com)
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Wed January 04, 2012
Tue January 03, 2012
Mon January 02, 2012
Sun January 01, 2012
Sat December 31, 2011
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Internet trolls: your shtick is over 100 years old. U mad? (newscientist.com)
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The 12 Kinds of Undecided Voters: Liars, haters, mavens, know-nothings, bandwagon riders, and other kinds of voters who just can't make up their minds (slate.com)
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| (Some Wishful Thinker) |
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Photoshop your New Years Resolution (Link goes to Subby's Resolution, regardless of how unlikely he is to succeed.) (images54.fotki.com)
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| (ljworld.com) |
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"It wasn't just local readers who were drawn to this story; the website Fark.com, which specializes in weird stories, sent significant traffic our way." Our traffic *is* very significant. (shoutout appears in Item #6) (www2.ljworld.com)
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Prison inmates have registered with the IRS as tax preparers. Will take payments in cash, candy bars, cigarettes (usatoday.com)
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Fri December 30, 2011
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Drivin' down your freeways / Midnight alleys roam / 19 cars, set on fire / Never saw the arson / So alone, so alone (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Best Korea names Kim Jong-un Supreme Commander, Emperor of Mars, and Grand Poobah of the Water Buffalo (news.yahoo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Barack Obama traveled to Mars twice in the 1980s (exopolitics.blogs.com)
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If you fooled around over the last 3 years with a guy named David Dean Smith, you better have your HIV status checked pronto. Thousands of you (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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52 year old Bronx prostitute still plying her trade after 30 years, for slightly less time than the typical state legislator (and considerably less money) (nytimes.com)
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| (Some Guy Some Guy) |
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Man who ran his twin down in a car sentenced to 40 years, having sinister goatee shaven off (missoulian.com)
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| (Journal Star) |
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"Another big hit was the story of a man knocked unconscious with beer can at a family gathering. A huge contingent of readers came from Fark.com, a funny news website." WE'RE FUNNY, YOU GUYS (shoutout appears after top 10 list) (journalstar.com)
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A CNN columnist may be attempting to begin the prophesied Star Trek Wars (not to be confused with the Star Wars Trek) (geekout.blogs.cnn.com)
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Thierry Henry is coming back to Arsenal. Now all they need is Tony Adams, Steve Bould, Martin Keown, Lee Dixon, Nigel Winterburn and time machine, and they're in business (soccernet.espn.go.com)
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Darth Maple: World darts champion. Canadian. Star Wars fan. Single (dailymail.co.uk)
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Neckbearded former QB for the Bears and Broncos sues over bad investments. DAMMIT ORTON (chicagotribune.com)
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Descriptions of "looking up to Britney Spears" while "having his own nuclear arsenal" do not seem like a very good mix (rothkopf.foreignpolicy.com)
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After 50 years and 200,000 casks, Glenfiddich's master cooper retires from the job he started on Christmas Day, 1961--at age 15 (bbc.co.uk)
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Thu December 29, 2011
Wed December 28, 2011
Tue December 27, 2011
Mon December 26, 2011
Sun December 25, 2011
Sat December 24, 2011
Fri December 23, 2011
Thu December 22, 2011
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Iran announces plans to conduct Navy drills with...... CTRL+V, V, V, V, V, V, V, V....most fearsome, awe inspiring flotilla known to mankind (foxnews.com)
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| (Some guy) |
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Still Burning: "She shows up tardy one day and hears her name called over the loud speaker to come to the principal's office. She spends the next five days behind bars" (clarionledger.com)
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Girl swept out to sea by a tsunami when she was eight years old finally makes it back home...seven years later (foxnews.com)
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Britney Spears' engagement ring cost approximately 4.5 Kevin Federlines (showbizspy.com)
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Top ten dumb Obama administration quotes for 2011. Surprisingly, Biden only appears twice (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)
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Dealership to offer free cars if the Bears shut out the Packers this Sunday. What could possibly go wrong? (sports.yahoo.com)
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Lesbian vampire killer set to walk free after 20 years. Doesn't know about Twilight yet (dailymail.co.uk)
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The border fence has stopped the single greatest threat to our nation cold in its tracks: bears (nytimes.com)
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The oldest Christmas cake in America turned 100-years old. w/edible goodness photo (content.usatoday.com)
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2006: Browns rookie promises $10,000 scholarships to 100 H.S. freshmen if they graduate with a 2.5 GPA. 2011: Now a 49ers player, spends nearly a year's salary to make good (sports.yahoo.com)
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Wed December 21, 2011
Tue December 20, 2011
Mon December 19, 2011
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How we will terraform Mars (io9.com)
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So, you can't go wrong with a review of an online Star Wars game that starts with "Forever alone?" (wired.com)
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Eight years, seven months and 25 days after the U.S. invasion of Iraq began, the final and 4,474th U.S. service member was killed by a roadside bomb (washingtonpost.com)
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From "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" to "The Star Wars Holiday Special" it's time to celebrate the worst of Christmas (chron.com)
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Forget about the holidays, the pending global recession, and the death of Kim Jung Il - Britney Spears has changed her Facebook status to "engaged". It's not news, it's CNN (marquee.blogs.cnn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Car theft ring in Philly. News: It's a family affair. FARK: Cars were Older Honda Accords (philadelphia.cbslocal.com)
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For the first time in forty years America's prison population has actually decreased. Either the costs of locking up non-violent offenders is to blame, or Obama is releasing them to rape your women and children (economist.com)
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Military drone pilots under great stress over fears of eye strain, constipation, carpal tunnel syndrome (reuters.com)
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Sun December 18, 2011
Sat December 17, 2011
Fri December 16, 2011
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NASA pulls the plug on Space Shuttle Discovery for the last time Friday, Dec. 16, more than 28 years after the NASA's retired fleet leader first came alive. A faint, "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave" was heard (space.com)
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| (Some Grinch) |
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Leave the Christmas cookies, cakes, candy bars, and soda at home ya little fatties, school is no place for yummy holiday celebrations this year (boston.cbslocal.com)
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| (Henry's Tacos) |
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Just after celebrating 50 years as the roadside Googie home to the original gringo taco, Henry's Tacos in Studio City is about to get the heave-ho from their landlord. SAVE THE SAUCE CUPS (dailynews.com)
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"If it hadn't been for the US intervention in Iraq, the 'Arab Spring' might have broken out years earlier" (spiegel.de)
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Ever wonder what happened to that Browns fan that got bodyslammed a few years back? Me neither, but it turns out James Harrison knocked some sense into him (cleveland.com)
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Arsenal, Inter, Bayern, Chelsea, Real, and more. Your Champions League round of 16 draw is here. Oh, and that Europa League thing, too (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tim Tebow wore a mic during Sunday's comeback win over the Bears. This awesome video could make you a believer (youtube.com)
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Seattle burglar scales homeowner's 10-foot fence, lands in a pack of hungry pit bulls. It's Gary Larson's town, we just live in it (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Thu December 15, 2011
Wed December 14, 2011
Tue December 13, 2011
Mon December 12, 2011
Sun December 11, 2011
Sat December 10, 2011
Fri December 09, 2011
Thu December 08, 2011
Wed December 07, 2011
Tue December 06, 2011
Mon December 05, 2011
Sun December 04, 2011
Sat December 03, 2011
Fri December 02, 2011
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European Space Agency gives up on Russian Mars probe, doesn't give a Phobos grunt (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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Minecraft creator steps down as lead designer, fans weep blocky tears of sadness (g4tv.com)
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Not only will apple juice kill you with arsenic, it will also make you fat. Fark's previous recommendation of substituting beer continues with additional oomph (cbc.ca)
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| (Zap2It) |
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Jay Cutler on his engagement to Kristin Cavallari: "I'm just kind of along for the ride." Kind of like his relationships with Broncos, Bears (blog.zap2it.com)
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| (JoBlo.com) |
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A Starship Troopers reboot is inbound. Would you like to know more? (joblo.com)
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Napster officially finished. Lars Ulrich will crack the bubbly (avclub.com)
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Britney Spears turns 30 today. Let's go back 20 years ago, to the beginning (youtube.com)
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Merkel says Marathon crisis will take years to solve. Jeez, I beat that game in like two nights (cnbc.com)
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Headlines about fighting against capitalism, foreign wars, deadbeat fathers, strange lights in the sky and a cow that swallowed a snake: It's not Fark, it's England in 1811 (bbc.co.uk)
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Canadian professor who hasn't lived in Italy for 28 years surprised when newspapers start reporting he's the country's new agriculture minister (theglobeandmail.com)
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Police say they've shut down a magic mushroom grow-op based on the cash, spores, mason jars, flying monkeys, talking grandfather clocks, giant bejeweled eels, answers to the Ancients' riddles, and cosmic waterfalls they confiscated (courant.com)
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Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape (youtube.com)
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Here in my car - I feel safest of all - I can lock all my doors - it's the only way to live in cars (cbsnews.com)
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Coca-Cola: We're changing the cans to save the polar bears, Public: They look like Diet Coke and taste different CHANGE THEM BACK, Coca-Cola: Ummmm...fark it, change them back (finance.yahoo.com)
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Thu December 01, 2011
| (Some Gal) |
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174 cars involved in massive pile up that stretches over 2 miles in Tennessee (newschannel5.com)
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| (Jezebel) |
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The secret daughter of Loretta Young and Clark Gable has passed away. In honor of Judy Lewis this submitter will not be revealed for 31 years (jezebel.com)
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Ohio cracking down on lions, tigers, bears. Oh my (toledoblade.com)
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Jailed Amish beard cutters denied bail over fears they pose a buggy risk (bbc.co.uk)
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| (The Macomb Daily) |
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Person in gorilla suit dumps sand in Little Caesars and runs away ... numerous times (macombdaily.com)
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College student who recognizes her friend, an attempted cop killer, in wanted poster does the obvious thing: "Freaks out" and tears down the posters (thesmokinggun.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Muppets has a 98% approval rating on Rotton Tomatoes, a rare 'A' CinemaScore rating and is one of the best movies of the year. So does it have a chance at the Oscars? The answer is 'probably not, except for the songs' (thewrap.com)
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For the first time in 40 years of Nielsen Research, the number of households with TV sets has dropped. Community was worse than we thought (nypost.com)
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Sears offered $400 million to move their headquarters from Illinois to Ohio. Because when you think of failing retail industries, you think of Ohio (qctimes.com)
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Not news: Stevie Wonder losing weight so he can look good. News: so he can star on a reality TV show. Fark: reality TV show is Dancing with the Stars (starpulse.com)
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Famous Polish pilot dies. Tried to defend Warsaw, Paris and London against the Nazis. Third time was the charm (washingtonpost.com)
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Carlos Mencia is attempting a comeback. You submitted this headline two years ago and it was way funnier then (slate.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Things you don't expect to inherit from your 90-year-old blue-collar father: 1. Billions of dollars. 2. An oil company. 3. A storage unit with his 1,000+ dildo collection (language Not safe for work) (nzafro.tumblr.com)
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Wed November 30, 2011
Tue November 29, 2011
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Activision CEO: Star Wars The Old Republic may not make EA any money. EA CEO: It will be profitable. George Lucas: Who cares, cha-ching (arstechnica.com)
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News: diverse resumes help in these tough economic times. Fark: sex toy engineer, hoverboard designer, and arsonist may be a bit much to land that new career (newsok.com)
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Some jerk wins $1M lottery for the second time in three years (news.yahoo.com)
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UK, wanting to know what drugs will look like in 20 years, paid some "futurist" untold bucks to buy them a copy of Snow Crash. Fail tag because Wired doesn't realize this (wired.com)
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It appears that the arrest of the New York bomb plot suspect was 99% misdirection (blog.trutv.com)
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The stars on the oldest heliocentric model known to man are on backwards...whoops (newscientist.com)
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Hostage returns home after 12 years captive. No stupid Farc jokes here, just an interesting story (bbc.co.uk)
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Patrice O'Neal passes away at age 41. He never got an answer from Kobe on how his arse tastes (tmz.com)
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Anyone who can watch this video of pharmaceutical research dogs experiencing sunlight and grass for the first time and do it without producing tears is simply not human (uproxx.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Star Wars: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas Edition (inquisitr.com)
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VA officials fine with people getting quietly and sadly drunk in bars, but heaven help the owners if they start dancing (washingtonpost.com)
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Advice columnist suggests that moms use the Twilight movies to talk to their teen daughters about sex. Absent from the suggestions: "Don't get knocked up by someone 90 years older than you are" (suntimes.com)
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Piece of 'art' on exhibit: "5 Million Dollars 1 Terabyte" consists of 1 USB-hdd full of 5 Million Dollars worth of pirated content. Can trolling the RIAA/MPAA/BSA be considered art? (theregister.co.uk)
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Seth Rogen thinks James Franco did a "great job" hosting the Oscars. I'm sure it seemed that way if you were high at the time (huffingtonpost.com)
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If you want to stop cars from speeding down your street, should you A: Install speed bumps? B: Erect speed limit signs? or C: Throw bricks through car's windows as they drive by? (tampabay.com)
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Will any giants be slain? How will Man City and Liverpool deal with two days rest? Two massive fixtures highlight your Carling Cup thread, with Arsenal v Man City & Chelsea v Liverpool (msn.foxsports.com)
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| (Some Fraulein) |
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German woman hasn't used money for 15 years, gets through punishing financial crisis without a mark on her (wakeup-world.com)
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Mon November 28, 2011
Sun November 27, 2011
Sat November 26, 2011
Fri November 25, 2011
Thu November 24, 2011
Wed November 23, 2011
Tue November 22, 2011
Mon November 21, 2011
Sun November 20, 2011
Sat November 19, 2011
Fri November 18, 2011
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Malicious cyber attack by foreign hackers (looking at you Russia) that targeted a water plant in Illinois appears to be the first of its kind on a critical computer system in the United States (washingtonpost.com)
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After three years of intense scrutiny, the EU claims that water can not, in fact, prevent dehydration (telegraph.co.uk)
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50 years ago today, JFK sent 18,000 military advisors to South Vietnam, ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity in Southeast Asia and forging a bond between the ... what's that? Ohhhh (life.com)
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When tied down and faced with a lap dance from Britney Spears, you do what you have to do to survive (starpulse.com)
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Day care teacher pierces child's ears after obtaining permission from: a) the parents, b) the legal guardian, or c) the five-year-old (star-telegram.com)
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Fifty years / By junta ruled / Now reformed / Or U.S. fooled? (cbsnews.com)
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An amazingly detailed look at the design, sales and marketing of one of the most maligned cars in history--the Ford Edsel (salon.com)
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Thu November 17, 2011
| (Some Guy) |
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Woman who let her nine year old son drive to school: 'It's cool, he has four years of driving experience' (delawareonline.com)
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Woman has tip of pool cue lodged up her nose for 12 years. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)
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Former Packer sentenced to six years in prison for painkiller possession. Guess he forgot to be a white quarterback (espn.go.com)
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252 million years ago Earth lost most of its animals and plants because aliens ate them all, big green grasshopper aliens, with heat rays and sucking machines. OK, it could have been a volcano but I think it was aliens (abc.net.au)
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Amazon rekindling the smartphone wars (consumerist.com)
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Cool: researchers have made serious advances in smartphone battery technology that should give us a week between recharges. Sad: It's still 3-5 years away from production (pcworld.com)
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140 years ago today the National Rifle Association was founded in New York, but it would be another twelve decades before its primary goal of arming smoking hot blonde twins with powerful handguns would finally be realized (life.com)
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We don't have flying cars, personal commuter jetpacks or a cure for cancer yet, but we do have bacon-flavored sexual lubricant, so yay science, I guess (huffingtonpost.com)
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After two years of living the good life, New England's squirrels are starving on account of the smallest acorn crop in memory (bostonglobe.com)
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In Texas, the law that requires cars to display license plates expires January 1 (statesman.com)
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Wed November 16, 2011
Tue November 15, 2011
Mon November 14, 2011
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New stills for Pixar's Brave reveal the Halloween and cosplay costumes you'll be seeing for the next five years (iheartchaos.com)
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From the party that gave us the Star Wars defense system: "Furthermore, in the movie 'G.I. Jane,' Demi Moore was waterboarded, and if it worked in a Hollywood movie, it HAS to work in real life" (thehill.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Congressional super-committee finds a way to save $1.2 trillion dollars in the current budget. By adding it to the deficit (news.investors.com)
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When returning your rental car, don't forget the half million dollars worth of cocaine you hid in the doors (mercurynews.com)
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Hair removal company claims Kim Kardashian is lying about how she keeps her body free of hair, insisting the product she claims she uses all over her body, TRIA, is not safe for the "face, ears, or anus" (tmz.com)
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After 18 years, mixed martial arts reaches adulthood. Giggity (espn.go.com)
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Sun November 13, 2011
Sat November 12, 2011
| (mass live) |
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New Hampshire man raises $66,000 for vets by making a million free throws over two years. In other news, Shaquille O'Neal raises $1.38 (masslive.com)
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Old and busted: Hearts, stars, dragons, and tramp-stamps. New hotness: science tattoos (ink, skin and science slideshow) (nytimes.com)
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Iran takes one in the arsenal (chicagotribune.com)
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Siri is only six years old. Keep that in mind the next time you ask your iPhone where you can score some Asian tranny midget hookers in Cleveland (pcworld.com)
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Russia's dreams of Mars end. Luckily, their crippled, toxic fuel-filled probe that's plummeting back to earth should have enough memories for us all (dailymail.co.uk)
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After some goofy years and with just a little mouse to mouse resuscitation, Disney profits soar 30% (marketwatch.com)
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Nic Cage's copy of the 1938 Action Comics #1 could sell for over two million dollars. Man, for that kind of money, you could buy at least four million copies of the new Action Comics #1 (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Not news: Cold War ended years ago. News: There are still nuclear warheads out there. Fark: Here is a story including a map of where they are (news.yahoo.com)
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Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to compete with FARK regulars, by giving a link to the FARK weird news quiz. No ... you can't take it again (huffingtonpost.com)
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Fri November 11, 2011
Thu November 10, 2011
Wed November 09, 2011
Tue November 08, 2011
Mon November 07, 2011
Sun November 06, 2011
Sat November 05, 2011
Fri November 04, 2011
Thu November 03, 2011
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An interactive map showing where we left our crap on Mars (scientificamerican.com)
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Twin Rivers police stops selling T-shirt showing child behind bars along with "U Raise 'Em, We Cage 'Em" text. Subby is offended: "tase" would have been a much better rhyme than "cage" (boingboing.net)
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Cliff near Wisconsin power plant collapses, depositing frothy slurry of coal ash--a hearty blend of selenium, lead, mercury and arsenic--into the cool blue waters of Lake Michigan. Drink up, folks (huffingtonpost.com)
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Not news: Unhappy with wedding pictures, man sues photographer. News: Six years later. Fark.com: He wants to recreate the images 6 years later, after he's already divorced, and after his wife has moved to Latvia (msnbc.msn.com)
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About five years ago, we were lamenting the loss of sitcoms on TV. due to Reality TV. Now, sitcoms are back, but we're still wondering where our good dramas are (nymag.com)
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Don't call it a comeback. Roger Clemens has been here for years (nydailynews.com)
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The Dow could reach 100,000 in 20 years, according to an author that just discovered crack cocaine, angel dust, and probably some peyote thrown in for good measure (cnbc.com)
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11/11/11 protesters call for resignation of Obama, VP Joe Biden, the Fartbama cabinet, staff and the unelected czars, as well Supreme Court justices chosen by Taxbama (wnd.com)
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Four Georgia senior citizens arrested for plotting to attack Americans with a bio-weapon, wearing unlicensed onions on their belts (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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Wed November 02, 2011
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New and busted: A Republican Party in thrall to evangelicals. Old hotness: A Republican Party where women smoked cigars, gambled, drank booze, and weren't afraid to show a little "phony bush of pectoral hair" (life.com)
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City of Compton finds itself in full financial meltdown -- despite being solidly in the black only a few short years ago (latimes.com)
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L.A. is raising its barking dog fine to $250. This could get very expensive for Britney Spears during her next concert (azcentral.com)
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| (Houston Press) |
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Texas judge sentences disabled teen to harsh punishment for file sharing (blogs.houstonpress.com)
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If the villain from "Cape Fear" covered himself with Chicago Bears tattoos, he'd be this guy (withleather.uproxx.com)
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Week 10 in the Premier League: Chelsea v. Arsenal was "an incredible, 90-minute sales pitch on why this can be the most electrifying sport in the world" (grantland.com)
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Japan: "Damaged reactors could take 30 years to retire" Americans: "That whole mess is still going on? Sheesh, we're a little pre-occupied over here with the Kardashian melt-down, okay? Try to keep up (articles.cnn.com)
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65 years ago today Howard Hughes flies his "Spruce Goose," with the largest wingspan in the history of aviation, for roughly a mile over Long Beach Harbor, celebrates by peeing into commemorative platinum milk bottle (life.com)
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Two years ago: California can build a great high-speed rail system for $43 billion. Today: uh, it'll actually be $98.1 billion and an extra nine years, but we start building next year--in between Bakersfield and Fresno (sfgate.com)
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'Prius of bicycles' switches gears by reading your mind. Smugness meters explode (csmonitor.com)
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R.I.P. to 14 cars and trucks for 2012 (autos.yahoo.com)
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News: Bank of America forecloses on homeowner, three years after his house is destroyed by a hurricane. Fark: The homeowner had continued to make mortgage payments on the property (dailymail.co.uk)
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Q: How did the Welsh chicken dresser smell after he cut his finger? A: With his nose, and also awful for five years (io9.com)
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Tue November 01, 2011
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Forty years ago, Frank Zappa brought us "200 Motels" in the movie theatres. "So long as I get some beer and I get paid, you can make me do anything, I'm professional" -- Lonesome Cowboy Burt (youtube.com)
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So turns out Newscorp and everyone involved with the News of the World hacking mess were aware of what was going on about 3 years before it was blown open (guardian.co.uk)
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Butt could face seven years in PMITA prison after being found guilty of ensuring the delivery of three intentional no-balls (washingtonpost.com)
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That bear market may have only been a Cub, which means everyone can expect it to lose for the next 100+ years (cnbc.com)
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Congress finally realizes that repealing Glass Steagle was the stupidest thing they've done in the past 15 years (businessweek.com)
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| (NBC Sports) |
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After explaining how Oakland's young group of wide receivers shouldn't be pushed aside to make room for Terrell Owens, Carson Palmer explains how they should be pushed aside to make room for TJ Houshmandzadeh (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)
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Boeing 767 crash lands in Warsaw, Poland with no injuries. Survivors will be buried later this afternoon (foxnews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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AC Milan, Barca, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Porto are among the teams in action in today's Champions League thread (uefa.com)
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Mon October 31, 2011
Sun October 30, 2011
Sat October 29, 2011
Fri October 28, 2011
Thu October 27, 2011
Wed October 26, 2011
Tue October 25, 2011
Mon October 24, 2011
Sun October 23, 2011
Sat October 22, 2011
Fri October 21, 2011
Thu October 20, 2011
Wed October 19, 2011
Tue October 18, 2011
| (WTVN) |
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Man dead as lions, cheetahs, wolves, camels, and bears escape exotic farm in Ohio. EVERYBODY PANIC (610wtvn.com)
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While lawmakers in the US hem and haw over a few billion dollars, European leaders have agreed to a two-trillion euro rescue fund. Go big or go home, indeed (thedailybeast.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Social Security recipients to receive additional 38 dollars a month next year. Bank Of America to add a 38 dollar monthly fee for being old (fundmymutualfund.com)
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Ron Paul releases his own budget plan: trim a trillion dollars his first year in office, end the departments of everything, end foreign wars, kill social security, let States decide everything. RON PAUL (npr.org)
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Groupon CEO hopes to pocket a few hundred million more dollars before the company goes under (dealbook.nytimes.com)
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| (Some Tree Hugger) |
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5 Bears, 1 Tree (dailyinterlake.com)
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The Bears, who have been dragging their feet about resigning Matt Forte, may want to move quickly, as at least two teams have expressed an interest in him. But that would require a Chicago sports team to be smart, which is impossible (chicagotribune.com)
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Robert Hays talks about filming Airplane 31 years ago, still doesn't eat the fish (sfgate.com)
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Man City v Villarreal, Lille v Inter, Napoli v Bayern, Real v Lyon, Marseille v Arsenal and more. Your Champions League matchday 3 is here (news.bbc.co.uk)
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Car tears Dunkin' a new doughnut hole. A cruller fate I have never known (orlandosentinel.com)
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Britney Spears forgoes dancing for multiple sex scenes in new music video (gawker.com)
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Darpa symposium debates possibility of 100-year starship to other worlds. On the downside, interstellar travelers would hear endless loop of "Sara" and "We Built This City" (nytimes.com)
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Gilad Shalit to be returned after five years in captivity, but handlebar mustache and 'fro remain in terrorists' hands (bbc.co.uk)
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Mon October 17, 2011
Sun October 16, 2011
Sat October 15, 2011
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