Headlines matching 'Ark'
Mon May 28, 2012
Sun May 27, 2012
Sat May 26, 2012
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You can get just about anything you want at Afghan markets, including lots of stolen American military goods (stripes.com)
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Chicago Fark Party - 9 June - New bat time, new bat channel (fark.com)
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Socialism turns out to be tremendous for the real-estate market, if the socialism is in France and the real-estate market is in New York (nytimes.com)
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Glitz, kitsch, human rights violations, a pack of Russian grandmothers, more cheese than a tailgate party at Lambeau Field, politicized voting, and Engelbert farking Humperdinck. It must be time for your 2012 Eurovision Song Contest thread (bbc.co.uk)
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| (Detroit News) |
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Detroit officials plan to turn off half of all streetlights to save cash. Angry residents once again left in the dark (detroitnews.com)
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1982 Sci-Fi Convention "Blade Runner" behind the scenes short film you've never seen. Bonus: Syd Mead discussing how the parking meters he designed would electrocute anyone trying to tamper with them (youtube.com)
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San Diego Fark Party, THIS SATURDAY May 26th 6:00pm at Pizza Port Solana Beach (fark.com)
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High school approves senior prank involving markers. Because you're reading this on Fark, you can safely assume that there was a glitch or two (readingeagle.com)
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TORONTO FARK PARTY - June 2nd. 1pm Blue Jays v. Red Sox, 8pm variety show at The Comedy Bar - stand-up, music and burlesque acts put together by our very own Mike "Nug" Nahrgang (AKA The Mustard Man). Come mooch a beer off Drew (fark.com)
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Jurassic Park was built by prisoners in Cuba, with obligatory pics of prehistoric Cubans fighting cave-bears (io9.com)
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Fri May 25, 2012
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Not news: Bill Murray turns down fan's request for autograph. Fark: Bill Murray agrees to star in his short film instead (gawker.com)
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Will Zach Parise book his team a ticket to the Stanley Cup Final? Will Ryan Callahan pull a Mark Messier? Are the Kings getting a nice tan while awaiting their opponent? Devils-Rangers Game 6 from the Prudential Center (8:10pm, NBC Sports) (nhl.com)
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Gizmodo gives credit to Fark for telling them about a dad who went a little too far in retaliating against his son's principal (gizmodo.com)
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Bridge from Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge" located in MacArthur Park. In other news, someone left a cake out in the rain (nme.com)
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It's time for the Fark News Quiz. The only quiz in the world that's easier to pass if you have a few stiff drinks first (fark.com)
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| (Business Insider) |
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"People unwilling to work seems to be a real moral quandary, as reflected by the Fark comments on the story. Some don't have any sympathy, some think she needs more help." That's Fark for you (3rd paragraph) (businessinsider.com)
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Old news: Nebraska man convicted of driving while drunk and naked, with truck full of naked passengers. New News: Arrested for stealing 2700 gallons of jet fuel to run his farm equipment. Fark: 1400 gallons of it remain missing (journalstar.com)
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Warren Buffet hates Fark.com (smh.com.au)
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News: Tim Tebow shines at Jets practice. Fark: On punt coverage. Obvious: At quarterback, not so much (espn.go.com)
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Not news: man divorces wife over her cats. Fark: she has 550 of them (shortlist.com)
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"We will not let a tornado ruin our wedding, FARK you tornado" (newsok.com)
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "Man goes to hospital with a kidney stone... and discovers he's a woman" (dailymail.co.uk)
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Disneyland Japan to let cute Japanese lesbians have their wedding at the theme park. This is a great step forward for gay rights in Japan and... aw, hell, you stopped reading at "Cute Japanese Lesbians", didn't you? (smh.com.au)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Judge approves extradition for L.A. arsonist's mother, whose photo will now be attached to every "your mom" Fark headline (mega949.com)
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Dark Side of Kaboom (thesun.co.uk)
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Casey Anthony spends her days eating in front of the computer. No word on what her Fark handle is (news.yahoo.com)
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Fugitive penguin recaptured in Tokyo. Keepers are keen to return it to the Sea Life Park, but on the other hand they've already mixed up 200 pounds of batter for penguin tempura (bbc.co.uk)
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Globe and Mail picks FARK Mobile as one of the apps that make news reading better (theglobeandmail.com)
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| (Michigan State 247.sports) |
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Michigan State 247 Sports loves FARK's headline prediction about their national title game (michiganstate.247sports.com)
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Got an hour and a half to kill? Want to hear Star Wars as performed be Jake the Dog, Pinky and the Brain, Philip J. Fry, Batman and Twilight Sparkle? (youtube.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Legoland Florida sets Guinness world record for Dumbest Stunt Performed at a Theme Park Modeled After a Toy (baynews9.com)
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Seattle Times gives a shout out to Fark for this gem about Michael Vick: "Couple now registered at Macy's, Bloomingdales, PetSmart" (Mid-way down) (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Not really news: Woman kicked off plane. Fark: For wearing a T-shirt that said, "If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd f--k a senator" (w/video) (huffingtonpost.com)
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Thu May 24, 2012
Wed May 23, 2012
Tue May 22, 2012
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Research confirms what Farkers already knew: eating healthy organic food turns you into a douche and leaves you with only 26 minutes to get to the gym (newser.com)
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Fruit truck experiences an explosion of flavor, Starbuck inconsolable as Vermont bans fracking, and Lindsay Lohan's rented bolthole: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/13 - 5/19 (fark.com)
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Theme : Create a Fark doodle (google.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Let's see how long it took Warner Bros. to create their new Dark Knight Rises poster (25.media.tumblr.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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DC Comics introduces "Superman Family Adventures," starring Clark, Lois, Jimmy, Zod, Fuzzy the Krypto Mouse, and the rest of the gang (dccomics.com)
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| (Some Cheese Head) |
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Wisconsin has a Deer Czar, and he firmly believes that State and National Parks are a commie plot. Like to hunt on public land? "Sucks to be you" (lodivalleynews.com)
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Not news: Grandma lets granddaughter test drive her car. Fark: 10-year old granddaughter hits three cars in a McDonald's parking lot (boston.com)
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The Register takes a break from murdering the English language to remind Farkers they can't do that with a headline =( (theregister.co.uk)
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Four adults tie 15-year-old girl to tree, hit her with eggs and pour beer on her. Fark: Two of them are her legal guardians (wtkr.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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SCOTUS: 'Fark the eighth amendment' (theverge.com)
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Remember when GM pulled their Facebook ads because they "didn't work"? Turns out, the real reason they didn't work is because GM just sucks at online marketing (businessweek.com)
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What's smaller than Mark Zuckerberg? Erm, Ark Zuckerber? (shortlist.com)
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Today's FARK-ready headline: "Ohio family in 'Porkopolis' seeks return of stolen swine statue that was wearing eyeglasses" (sun-sentinel.com)
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Mon May 21, 2012
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Want to sit next to your spouse or kid on the airplane? Pay more. Why? Because fark you, that's why (myfoxmemphis.com)
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Not News: Loner cannot get a date to the prom. News: Track coach feels sorry for him so she escorts him there. Fark: She gets canned even though no shenanigans took place (dailymail.co.uk)
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Not news: some people climbed Everest. News: Three died on descent because of "traffic jam". Fark: Everest has traffic jams because apparently the only mountaineering experience required is Photoshop (cbc.ca)
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Fark ready headline of the day: Naked toddler left in car; mom dances in driveway. "...with a cupholder from her car stuck in her hair" (kltv.com)
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| (ABC27) |
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"So how did this vehicle crash ma'am?" "My 8 year old son was playing in it while it was in park, and it somehow got off that and crashed" (abc27.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Building built with 500,000 beer bottles, or the trash from roughly one fark party (lvrj.com)
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| (The Courier-Journal) |
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News: Shooting happens in a bad part of town. Unusual: Six people are shot, three of them fatally. Fark: One of those fatally shot was the boyfriend of a woman who wore a "No Boyfriend, No Problem" shirt to the crime scene (courier-journal.com)
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Interactive graphic lets you watch Mark Zuckerberg lose money in real time (scroll to the bottom) (visual.ly)
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Kourtney Kardashian parks in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces (celebslam.celebuzz.com)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the unbelievable story about a UFO (skeptic.com)
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| (The Oakland Press) |
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I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It-now with added trailer park and frying pan fight (theoaklandpress.com)
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| (KKTV) |
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7th grader suspended for buying "Happy Crack." Clarification: "Happy Crack" has nothing to do with your plumber. Fark: "Happy Crack" is sugar and Kool Aid power. Happy Crack Happy Crack Happy Crack (kktv.com)
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The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-Man, Prometheus: which blockbuster has given the most footage away in trailers? Turns out it's not actually Prometheus (denofgeek.com)
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Ways to successfully obtain sex: dating sites, bars, prostitutes, Craigslist hookups. Ways to unsuccessfully obtain sex and simultaneously make the front page of Fark: get naked and blindfolded, and tie yourself to a tree (huffingtonpost.com)
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Nobody's gonna be afraid of you in jail if your nickname is Skidmark (upi.com)
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Sun May 20, 2012
Sat May 19, 2012
Fri May 18, 2012
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There appears to be a market for fetuses and dead babies, fetuses that have been roasted and covered in gold leaf bring in a bit more cash due to the 'good luck' factor (news.yahoo.com)
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Obamunists, Paulterians, Mittenfreaks, and maybe even Johnsoners can all agree on something: arresting a WWII veteran for "electioneering" from wearing an Obama t-shirt in a room next to a poll is pretty farked up (wfaa.com)
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| (Art Info) |
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Art Info thanks FARK for the tip of humorous suggestions for new "Star Trek" television spinoffs. (#5) (artinfo.com)
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Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work (fark.com)
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Fark Survey: Shorting Facebook stock: When and how much? (thestar.com)
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| (Crain's) |
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Not news: Chicago Cubs owner seeking $100 million in tax breaks. Fark: Apparently so he can spend more of his own money on a PAC attacking Obama. Dumbass: Apparently he's also forgotten what Chicago's mayor's previous job was (chicagobusiness.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ready for Fark journalism: "Police said Rachel George spat on, cursed at and kicked officers while they attempted to make her sit, and Sgt. Sean Duffy injured himself striking her in the face" (triblive.com)
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Adventures in local news reporting: "Fark you, I hope you get AIDS" with a bonus drunk, shirtless man falling out of a window behind a reporter (deadspin.com)
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Radio host and easy prey Rush Limbaugh wonders when the environmentalist wackos are going to start doing something about all the pollution and environmental damage being caused by lions, tigers, and sharks (mediamatters.org)
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Photoshop a recruitment poster for Fark (google.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's not a hero, it's FARKMAN (some NSFW language & semi-NSFW animated images) (umop.com)
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Thu May 17, 2012
Wed May 16, 2012
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Tony Stark to face off against classic Marvel supervillain for Iron Man 3. Nah, just kidding, it's one of those mid-'90s hair guys everyone tried to forget (badassdigest.com)
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Not news: Most Americans opposed to massive government spending. Fark: On the Apollo space program (slate.com)
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| (Some Bunny) |
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A Farker needs our help (nei.nih.gov)
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| (Some zoo's blog) |
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Ugly ass-snow leopards born at Woodland Park Zoo. Link goes to some sucky blog and horrific pics (woodlandparkzblog.blogspot.com)
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"Repeal and Replace" replaced by "Fark it. We're not going to do something hard like health care reform" (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Twitchy) |
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Shaquille O'Neal vs. Charles Barkley in epic shirt off competition (twitchy.com)
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Uwe Boll interview. Oliver Stone is "that farking prick". Mission Impossible 4 is "completely stupid". Complains that "a lot of people just didn't watch my serious movies with an objective eye" (denofgeek.com)
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| (SlashGear) |
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If you can't beat them in the marketplace, beat them at the border. It's the Apple way (slashgear.com)
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"You go vertical into the light, and suddenly, instead of gray and dark, it's light and blue. You are totally connected with the elements. You are in another world. I want to live that again" (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
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Aaron Sorkin to write film about Steve Jobs. In other news, Apple to trademark the walk and talk (hollywoodreporter.com)
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Google's new Android strategy: Fark the carriers (mobile.slashdot.org)
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| (LoanSafe) |
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LoanSafe sees the reality in FARK's prediction of future social security benefits (2nd paragraph) (loansafe.org)
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| (Some Guy) |
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What do you get when you combine a Sparkling Princess and Royal Horse Barbie set in pink wrapping paper, a digital camera and Viagra? C.) PMITAP (post-gazette.com)
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Coyotes force trail closures in Golden Gate Park due to conflicts with pets, shipments of rocket sleds and giant crossbows from Acme Corp (nytimes.com)
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Kurt Busch, who lost his ride at Penske following a series of outbursts last season is fined $50,000, placed on probation following his actions at Darlington. Furthermore, his ride has now been replaced with a 1994 Buick Skylark with no AC (espn.go.com)
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As if being in WalMart isn't trauma enough, NJ man sues WalMart for $1 million after being "traumatized" by a 16-year-old's racist remark (hosted.ap.org)
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Venture Beat uses FARK commentary in their article about the Error 37 Diablo III failure (venturebeat.com)
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| (The Soup) |
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The Soup credits Fark for bringing their attention to the Trololo Guy's latest antics (thesouptv.com)
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Tue May 15, 2012
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Completing the somewhat rare Fark Hockey Greenlight Trifecta, at 9pm (Eastern) tonight the LA Kings try to go up 2-0 over the Phoenix Coyotes. Will they or will Phoenix even things up going into game 3? (tsn.ca)
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At age 38, Cleveland Indians pitcher Derek Lowe throws his fourth career complete game shutout, currently has a 6-1 record with an ERA of 2.05. Fark: The Atlanta Braves are still paying $10,000,000 of his $15,000,000 salary (scores.espn.go.com)
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Mark Ronson says Amy Winehouse was "freaked out" by Adele's success, size (spinner.com)
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| (BizJournals) |
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Funny: "The Onion" claims that media savvy professionals working for fracking industry are being hired in droves to mislead the public. Fark: Media savvy professional working for fracking industry responds by misleading the public (bizjournals.com)
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Mississippi legislator gleefully describes returning to the age of coat hanger abortions as a "moral value". FARK: When asked to clarify his statement, he blames the blacks (maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com)
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First appearance of the Judean People's Front, high school students succumb to pier pressure, and Oden keeps his alcohol problems loki: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/6 - 5/12 (fark.com)
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1) Get your Fark on at work (businessnewsdaily.com)
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| (Rachel Held Evans.com) |
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News: when asked for one word to primarily describe Christianity, 91% of young non-Christians answer "antihomosexual." Fark: so do 80% of Christians (rachelheldevans.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fark-ready headline: "Labor board says Boner retaliated against pair" Bonus: Boss says he wouldn't have sexually harassed fired workers because they weren't "young and pretty" enough (dnj.com)
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Fark ready headline: Australian shooter Russell Mark to wear mankini at opening ceremony of London Olympics as bet backfires (shortlist.com)
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Attention Fark moderators: Please don't green-light this. I beg you (buzzfeed.com)
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Retail sales PROBABLY slowed. Maybe. Perhaps. Fark it, we don't know, we fired the guy who ran those numbers (businessweek.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Actual headline: "Vatican mystery intensifies: Bones found in grave." Oh, sure, it may seem obvious to everyone here on Fark, but Dan Brown will be laughing all the way to the bank (staradvertiser.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarking snakes in this motherfarking Walmart (standard.net)
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Mon May 14, 2012
Sun May 13, 2012
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Dear Los Angeles Farkers, If you're hiking this weekend in the hills above Burbank, and you come across an armed and suicidal FBI agent, give me a call, I seem to have misplaced mine, thank you -- Janet (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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After 12 years, fifty-two year old immigrant janitor finally earns his degree from the Ivy League school at which he works. FARK: With the degree he chose, janitor is probably about the only job that he'll be able to get (ajc.com)
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Bad news - "Community" moves to the Friday Night Death Slot. Worse news - its lead-in will be "Whitney." This is the darkest timeline (insidetv.ew.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Farker wrote a zombie book. Free to read for Amazon Prime subscribers (amazon.com)
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Dalai Lama fears being eaten by sharks, lack of total consciousness (thedailybeast.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Latest electoral college map puts Obama at 290 and Romney at 161, with 87 toss ups, meaning Obama wins even if Romney wins all toss ups. Fark: This map comes directly from Karl Rove's website (businessinsider.com)
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The Avengers has just crossed the $1 billion mark after earning $103 million this weekend and is, again, #1 at the box office. Dark Shadows was #2 with $28.8 million (deadline.com)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News thanks Fark for the story about a very lucky lottery winner (bonus - FARK comments quoted in the story) (skeptic.com)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News/The Skeptic give thanks to FARK for a story that just won't die - - - the man who woke up at his own funeral (skeptic.com)
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| (not Greg Fiore) |
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Been a Farkette for a really long time now...Here's the trailer for the video I did with my class of 2nd Graders for our school's fundraiser...Enjoy (gregfiore.smugmug.com)
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Sat May 12, 2012
Fri May 11, 2012
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Oh JP Morgan? The SEC would like a word with you over those reckless trades that lost you $2 billion in the last six weeks, two words, actually, and they are "you're farked" (dealbook.nytimes.com)
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| (Journal.ie) |
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The Journal.ie thanks FARK for photo #9 in their slideshow of the worst soccer uniforms (thejournal.ie)
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Game of Thrones decapitated Ned Stark dessert pops (io9.com)
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Not news: Elderly couple dies in car crash. News: Couldn't call for help due to bad AT&T coverage. FARK: after NINE dropped calls (gizmodo.com)
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That's right, it's Friday. So take off your shoes, put your feet on your desk, and try your hand at this week's Fark Weird News Quiz (fark.com)
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New pics from "The Dark Knight Rises." Someone compares Bane's mask to... well... you know (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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News: Conspiracy theorist fears cops are following her. Truth: They are. Fark: because they put a GPS tracker on her car and are trying to secretly get it back (coloradoan.com)
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Flight attendant fired for Tweeting world's worst Fark headline (myfoxdc.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Seattle Times greenlit a headline worthy of Fark, but some boring editor pulled it. Screencap in link (jimromenesko.com)
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This week in dark money: George Soros cuts some big checks, a super-PAC showdown in the Hoosier state, plus other news from the cold murky world of dark campaign cash (motherjones.com)
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Redskins introducing 1937 throwback jerseys, with "a rich, darker color palate," a patch from the early years, and a helmet that has "a unique, leather-like finish." and pockets, it appears (pic) (washingtonpost.com)
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An incredibly detailed look at Internet marketing scams, and it won't even cost you $5 a month (boingboing.net)
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| (Some Guy) |
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News: Two men get their iPhones stolen. FARK: By prostitutes. TotalFark: The men fire a shot through the motel room door. Stockton: Prostitutes return fire, injuring one (fox40.com)
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"Dark Shadows will remind you why you once liked Johnny Depp" (slate.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember when the drug Vioxx got taken off the market in 2004 for killing roughly 55,000 people? Looks like they may have left off a zero (theweek.co.uk)
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Orioles' wacky, unusual season continues as they become first team in AL history to open a game with three straight home runs, beating Texas 6-5. FARK: Orioles team gets only five hits--all home runs (mlb.mlb.com)
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10 questions for JP Morgan, not including "just who the FARK do you think you are?" (cnbc.com)
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Thu May 10, 2012
Wed May 09, 2012
Tue May 08, 2012
Mon May 07, 2012
Sun May 06, 2012
Sat May 05, 2012
Fri May 04, 2012
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Gawker thanks Fark for the story about a hungry lioness and the 'zebra' baby (gawker.com)
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Clear your desks, get out a sharpened pencil, and get off your hot teacher for a moment--it's time for this week's Fark Weird News Quiz (fark.com)
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| (Some TFette) |
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TFette is asking the good people of Fark for a little bit of help, for a good cause (elkhartcancer.org)
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Who was the best Obi-Wan? Alec Guiness? Evan McGregor? Then you haven't seen the Redd Foxx interpretation. Bonus: Marie Osmond as Leia and Paul Lynde as Grand Moff Tarkin (neatorama.com)
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Mark Zuckerberg has about a billion reasons to love the new Facebook IPO (newser.com)
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When their co-worker is diagnosed with cancer, a bunch of women band together to raise money for her treatment. Fark: She comes back with a nice boob job and no cancer (wptv.com)
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Russians continue to flip over crazy amusement park ride (youtube.com)
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The trailer for 2012's hottest film, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, is finally here (insidetv.ew.com)
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Argentina: "To compete on English soil, we train on Argentine soil." Farkland Islands: "This shiat is invading the sports thread now?" (guardian.co.uk)
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The mystery of dark-skinned pacific islanders with natural blond hair has been solved genetically, and no, it doesn't have anything to do with a shipful of Vikings getting very lost (news.yahoo.com)
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Not news: girl saves friend using Heimlich Maneuver. Fark: she learned it on TV. Ultra Fark: she's six years old (sacbee.com)
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Neil Armstrong's Corvette is on eBay. Yeah, even a Corvette gets boring once you've walked on the Farkin' Moon (foxnews.com)
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Your chance to become Lord Farkington of Dangly Nads is now here, complete with village and pub, for only a couple of million bucks (dailymail.co.uk)
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Thu May 03, 2012
Wed May 02, 2012
Tue May 01, 2012
Mon April 30, 2012
Sun April 29, 2012
Sat April 28, 2012
Fri April 27, 2012
Thu April 26, 2012
Wed April 25, 2012
Tue April 24, 2012
Mon April 23, 2012
Sun April 22, 2012
Sat April 21, 2012
| (Times Herald Record (NY)) |
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Never give Darwin a second swing: man clips several parked cars, flees, and a few minutes later says hello to Mr. Tractor Trailer (recordonline.com)
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Oregon father and son build 1/3-scale Fenway Park replica on their farm. Shoeless Joe Jackson approves (deadspin.com)
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What secret is Princess Cadance and Shining Armor hiding from Twilight Sparkle? Did Pinkie Pie plan the wedding reception? Will Derpy bring muffins? It's the Royal Wedding season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, 1 pm on The Hub (nydailynews.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: UFO video over France is enhanced. Still don't know what the Fark it is. News: France is starting to look like Milwaukee (news.gather.com)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News makes no bones about thanking FARK for the story about a fake skeleton (skeptic.com)
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Twin Cities Fark Party TONIGHT April 21st, Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge. Now with 17% more out-of-towner (fark.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bad: You're stabbed badly enough to that the ambulance can't reach you in time. Good: The police rush you to the hospital on their car. Fark: Yes, I said ON their car (tolland.patch.com)
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Money market fund assets now top $2.584 trillion. Or, in government terms ... two wars and three industry bailouts (reuters.com)
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Self-driving Cadillacs may be coming by the middle of the decade. Unfortunately, they will only want to drive themselves to the Old Country Buffet and through the middle of crowded farmer's markets (foxnews.com)
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In further proof that God hates the Red Sox, Bronx Bombers bombard Boston with 5 home runs on Fenway Park's 100th birthday (mlb.mlb.com)
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If this is the first thing the aliens see when they land here, we're farking doomed (starpulse.com)
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The GOP continues to focus on jobs. Fark who am I kidding, we are about to pass an amendment to ban gay marriage, because the current law banning it just wasn't banny enough (wral.com)
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Coolest photos you'll see of a one-off, porcelein-bodied Bugatti supercar parked casually on a Paris street you'll ever see. Try not to drool. Or wish for a hammer (dailymail.co.uk)
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31-year-old hottie: "Tourettes turned me into a mother farking superhero" (w/pics) (thesun.co.uk)
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Fri April 20, 2012
| (Some Smart Ass) |
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Photoshop Theme: Everything I learned about Photoshopping, I learned on Fark (c710720.r20.cf2.rackcdn.com)
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South African bodyboarder killed by great white shark remembered as well-mannered boy and great chum (news.blogs.cnn.com)
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| (Death and Taxes) |
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Videos of squirrels with gigantic testicles dot fark dot com (deathandtaxesmag.com)
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The Guardian notices the use of social internet memes and cites FARK for its "sometimes-tasteless humour" (5th paragraph) (Warning: graphic image in link) (guardian.co.uk)
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Put down your bong for a minute, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz, the only test in the world that you'll probably do a little better at if you're baked (fark.com)
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Mark Ruffalo can't smash much with his not-so-incredible hulk: "I'm not well-endowed, and those suits don't really show you off. The first day I was a miserable bastard" (showbizspy.com)
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Bud Selig says that the A's and Rays need new ballparks. Preferably far away from any troublesome bridges (espn.go.com)
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Farker looks like a total wuss while trying to get a bag off a stuck squirrel's head (youtube.com)
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Two guys have invented an affordable way for anyone to lucid dream with ease -- and look snazzy in the process. Subby is actually farking from his sleep (wptv.com)
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The answer to this question headline isn't merely "no", but "you've got to be farking kidding me" (news.yahoo.com)
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Fark ready headline of the day (and future motion picture): "Friends 'broke into zoo, stripped to their underwear to swim with dolphins before stealing a penguin' on drunken night out" (dailymail.co.uk)
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| (Some Guy) |
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HTC to announce that since October, its Android phones have been shipping with ad-blockers turned on by default, making ad-impression measurements of market share meaningless. Yeah, that's the ticket (electronista.com)
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Jeter's place in Manhattan is on the market, and would you just look at that gaudy ridic-- wait, okay, that's actually sort of tasteful. And you get a tabletop Pac-Man game for your $18M (nypost.com)
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Fenway Park turns 100 today. Suck it, Yankees (usatoday.com)
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Not news: Another fan runs out on the field during MLB game. News: He's caught and gets ejected from the stadium by security. FARK: He's four years old (deadspin.com)
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Thu April 19, 2012
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Girl born with no hands: A) wallows in self-pity. B) hates the song B-I-N-G-O. Fark) Wins National penmanship contest (content.usatoday.com)
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| (Slacktory) |
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Twitter comments on Dick Clark's passing yesterday. Yes, Fark's headline made the list (slacktory.com)
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George Zimmerman wants a private meeting with the parents of Trayvon Martin. Preferably in a dark alley on a cool, rainy day (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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"How Fark Beat A Patent Troll" gets slashdotted (yro.slashdot.org)
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Hindu God Ganesh, minus two of his arms, mysteriously turns up in museum parking lot after owner pays some guy to dispose of it. The Simpsons did not do this one yet (ca.news.yahoo.com)
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Miami Marlins fancy new ballpark now features interesting foods, great field views, fans disguised as empty seats (deadspin.com)
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President Obama sits on the bus where Rosa Parks refu-OMG, IS HE GOING BALD? (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The problem with the whole dark matter hypothesis is that we can't seem to find any at all in our neighborhood (phys.org)
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Huffington Post gives Fark a tip of the hat for its 'Sex Robot' story (huffingtonpost.com)
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After initially turning down his invite to be part of the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park ceremony, Terry Francona sees the fans reaction to Bobby Valentine, reconsiders and decides to attend. Maximum Trolling (boston.com)
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Today's Fark headline: "Rapists living next to Iowa grannies?" (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Neither rain nor snow, heat nor darkness can prevent the mail from being delivered, unless the post office is infested with poisonous spiders, in which case you'll have to come pick it up (1035superx.com)
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I'll see your Gulf shrimp with no eyes and raise you a shrimp that has no eyes AND lives its entire life in complete darkness at the bottom of the deepest caverns in New Mexico (seattlepi.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember when you were a kid playing video games, and you figured you were so good that NASA should recruit you? Then you grew up, discovered beer and forgot about it. Fark: NASA just called (trebuchet-magazine.com)
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Dick Clark's greatest moments from Pyramid (huffingtonpost.com)
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Investigation finds that foreclosure workers are forced to work towards meeting quotas, which likely explains the almost-daily Fark "I got evicted but paid off my house five years ago" headlines (economywatch.msnbc.msn.com)
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MGM expected to weather repeat, has never seen Fark on the weekends (cnbc.com)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News strangely thanks FARK for the story of woman possessed (doubtfulnews.com)
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| (Winnipeg Free Press) |
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Winnipeg Free Press tells of the Canadian writer who got a boost in readership and page views per day after his 'awesome' story was picked up by FARK (12th section) (winnipegfreepress.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Jonathan Frid, better known as Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows, is dead at 87. C'mon, the new movie can't be that bad (kathrynleighscott.com)
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We need a nice looking, friendly, not too dark black guy to play the role - oh, and, by uh, 'not too dark' we mean an African-American who is more comfortable with comedic roles rather than dramatic rol...okay we messed up (myfoxdc.com)
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The market value of a Ph.D. in chemistry is now limited to asking 'Would you like fries with that?" On the positive side, chemistry students are bumping the hell out of English majors in the paper-hat careers (blogs.scientificamerican.com)
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Bad: two cops beat the crap out of a kid for fun. HERO: Officer Regina Tasca intervenes and stops the beating. Fark/obvious: Police department rules Regina Tasca "psychologically unfit" to be a police officer (reason.com)
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 363: "Sun in Frame". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)
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Wed April 18, 2012
Tue April 17, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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HispanicBusiness.com thinks a headline at Los Fark es Muy gracioso (hispanicbusiness.com)
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Huffington Post's guest contributor is FARK's Drew Curtis, who gives highlights of his TED patent troll talk (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fark-ready Headline: Barking man cited for noise violation Bonus: "Some people call me the holy lamb of God" (onlineathens.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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This is an obituary worthy of FARK. "He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died," Cause of death? "stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades" (hlntv.com)
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It's Tax Day, Farkers; have you gotten your refund (or bill) yet? Or are you filing for an extension in hopes to avoid huge tax penalties? One thing's certain, though; you'll want to avoid the Post Office (sun-sentinel.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wasteland 2 kickstarter makes it past the $3 million mark, canteens for all you desert dwellers (kickstarter.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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WTFark is this "mothership" UFO reappearing at night over St. Petersburg, Russia? If it's a hoax, it's the best one ever. Oh, those Russians. Once again their legendary sense of humor blows up the world. Wait (news.gather.com)
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Hell hath no fury like a woman in the Clark County, NV Detention Center who's 36 and doesn't have time for other people's problems and issues anymore scorned (NSFW language) (trutv.com)
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10 facts about Social Security. Did you know the Fark filter automatically masks Social Security numbers with ***-**-****. It's amazing, try it. Here's Subby's: ***-**-**** (cnbc.com)
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| (Guitar World) |
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In a market saturated by cheap Chinese instruments, Guitar World magazine lowers the bar even further by teaching guitarists how to make their own guitar for $25 from a cigar box and stick (guitarworld.com)
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Mon April 16, 2012
Sun April 15, 2012
Sat April 14, 2012
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Movie analyst urges studios to join real world, stop charging same ticket price for every movie, whether it's sparkly vampire crapfest, brainless action crapfest, or sensitive Oscar-bait crapfest (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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Upping the ante in a bid to get its own Fark tag, it is now easier than ever to legally get your hands on moonshine in Ohio (daytondailynews.com)
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Tampa Fark party at Tiny Tap on May 5, because, why not? Anyone in? (fark.com)
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Will Hendrick Motorsports claim its 200th victory tonight? Will Farkers lose their collective shiat if the driver who does it is Jimmie Johnson? Find out tonight during the Samsung Mobile 500. Coverage on Fox begins at 7 PM EDT (nascar.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cool: Teacher prevents kid from getting beat up. Fark: Kid tries to hug the teacher and gets written up for it. UltraFark: Teacher grabbed student so roughly to avoid getting hugged that a police report was filed for the marks she left on him (charlotte.cbslocal.com)
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| (Some Granny) |
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73 yr old grandma who supplied 40% of the marijuana to Tulsa and parts of Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri arrested with 4 lbs of pot, 2 guns and $276,000 in cash (thedaily.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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When a Craigslist posting starts with "If you're a dude with a red Mohawk who recently got lucky at a Motörhead/Megadeth concert in the bathroom at the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago..." you know it's going to end up on Fark (technolog.msnbc.msn.com)
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Fri April 13, 2012
Thu April 12, 2012
Wed April 11, 2012
Tue April 10, 2012
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Cool: 102-year-old Bronx man is still parking cars for a living. Hero: And has a girlfriend less than half his age (nypost.com)
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Candidate for the most Grandma friendly story submitted to Fark: Tom Hanks will play Walt Disney in new film about the creation of Mary Poppins (hitfix.com)
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Arkansas ends its inappropriate relationship with Bobby Petrino (sports.yahoo.com)
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Have a seat right over there, and listen to this 8 year old knock Someone Like You out of the park (buzzfeed.com)
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Will Vince shove poor Tony Atlas in the Saba Simba gimmick? Who will go messin' with that country boy, Hillbilly Jim? Can Dusty Rhodes' splotch beat Pat Patterson's skidmark? It's WWE Smackdown: Blast From The Past, 8 PM on SyFy (bleacherreport.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man sentenced to 7.5 years for making Wild West theme park more genuine (rapidcityjournal.com)
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CBS News mentions FARK as one of the sites which made a little known restaurant reviewer famous. (2nd paragraph) (cbsnews.com)
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| (Delaware County (PA) Times) |
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Rush Limbaugh more powerful than ever -- totally doesn't need a 50,000-watt affiliate in the nation's fourth-largest media market anymore. My friends, we're on in Whitefish, Montana (delcotimes.com)
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The 2012 New York Rangers would be just as good as the 1994 Stanley Cup winning Rangers, if only they had Mark Messier, Brian Leetch, Sergei Zubov and Adam Graves (sports.yahoo.com)
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Fran Tarkenton tries to remain relevant and in the news (content.usatoday.com)
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"What's wrong with scoring in the offseason?" Arkansas fans hold rally for Petrino (usatoday.com)
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Miami Marlins fail to realize that the cold war ended decades ago. Suspend Ozzie Guillen for pro-Castro remarks. Guess the Marlins support the brutal military dictatorship of Batista and old system of racial serfdom instead (espn.go.com)
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Courtney Love has been trolling Gothamist readers for weeks, not only in writing columns but in the comments section as well, using an alias. No word what her Fark handle is (spinner.com)
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| (BBC) |
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Good news for Charm City farkers; beer is being brewed in Baltimore again. I mean, you're still stuck living in Baltimore, but at least you can get freshly brewed beer (bbc.com)
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Quiet Lisa, the dog is barking (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
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Facebook is deception. Fark is revelation (english.pravda.ru)
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Anyone can troll a website, but trolling an entire city park takes talent. Bonus: cops used as admins (rawstory.com)
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| (Road Biker Review) |
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Road Biker Review comes to the realization that "pretty soon Arizona is going to need its own FARK tag" (forums.roadbikereview.com)
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Fark's favorite poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut leaves rehab after failed suicide attempt, career attempt (eonline.com)
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Mark Lenzi lands his last dive (sports.yahoo.com)
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There is no finer mark of a Pakistani man than a fully oiled, waxed and twirled moustache (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)
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Mon April 09, 2012
Sun April 08, 2012
Sat April 07, 2012
Fri April 06, 2012
Thu April 05, 2012
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Bad: Kid doesn't have class picture permission slip. Good: They let him take part in the class pic anyway. Fark: They cover his face, sort of.... (click to see what may be one of the best uses of Farktography ever) (huffingtonpost.com)
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| (Psych Forums) |
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Psych Forums highlights a FARK headline about Earth's most silent place and quietly debates the topic (psychforums.com)
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Awkward market research questions at the free sample station. "Did this drink make your nips hard?" (trutv.com)
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The sexiest, curviest models from the upcoming NY International Auto Show. Fark: They're all cars (heavy.com)
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| (The Alton Telegraph) |
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One would think that they would stop parking their cars in the same spot (thetelegraph.com)
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| (Some Pedestrian) |
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Not news: 14-year-old has driving lesson in parking lot. News: at 8:30 PM, with her family, including the baby, in the vehicle. FARK: she hits another vehicle, air bag deploys, she keeps driving. Then it gets weird (ksla.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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In honor of opening day around the country, here's a list of the worst baseball cards ever. What? No Billy Ripken Farkface? (pophangover.com)
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1040farkthis (businessweek.com)
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This may come a a shock to you, but legal experts say that the federal judge who ordered the administration to "clarify" Obama's remarks on judicial review , is a partisan hack who has wildly overstepped his authority (cnn.com)
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Woman severely burned in Wicker Park fire. Lord Summerisle unavailable for comment (chicagotribune.com)
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Fark Mother Of The Year arrested for texting with a baby on her lap while on the 405 Freeway with a suspended license and unsecured kids in back (ktla.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Coffee shop owner advertises he is hiring for barista job. News: Female applicants only. FARK: He tried to interview them while he was nude (dailytelegraph.com.au)
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 361: "Pinholes, Lomos & Holgas, Oh My!" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)
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Wed April 04, 2012
Tue April 03, 2012
| (crushable) |
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Crushable's story about Audrina Patridge includes a witty observation and headline by a clever FARK submitter (4th paragraph) (crushable.com)
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Illiterate lobsterman no longer lost at C, robot masturbators, and Internet meme recursion loops: some of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 3/25 - 3/31 (fark.com)
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| (News 3 Las Vegas) |
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The week after the World Fark Party II in Vegas, a six-pack of beers gets a seat on Las Vegas City Council. Coincidence? (mynews3.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Big Head Todd does a blues cover of LMFAO "Sexy and I Know It" Fark: and it's awesome (radiomilwaukee.org)
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Milan just drew level at Barca, the krauts lead the frogs, and Fark has now thread for this? I am disappoint (soccernet.espn.go.com)
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| (The Today Show) |
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I can see the Today Show jump the shark from my house. (Bonus: Outraged comments goodness) (allday.today.msnbc.msn.com)
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Medical radiographer suspended from her profession after drinking a quart of boxed wine at work. No, I don't know her Fark handle (couriermail.com.au)
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Secret's out: The Hunger Games is really a marketing textbook disguised as an ultraviolent, post-apocalyptic Romeo and Juliet rehash (forbes.com)
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| (Guyspeed) |
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Guyspeed.com illustrates their article about staring with an eye catching photo courtesy of FARK (guyspeed.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Calling all Farkers: City of Dacula needs name for new park (dacula.patch.com)
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Not News: The modern world is out of ideas. News: Movie-style poster appears on internet announcing sequel. FARK: It's from Al-Qaeda (foxnews.com)
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Kentucky win inspires Drew to release FARK hostages (bbc.co.uk)
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| (Some Tater) |
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To commemorate the 75th anniversary of Idaho Potatoes, the Idaho Potato Commission has... HOLY FARK, we're gonna need a lot of bacon and sour cream (983thesnake.com)
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Adam Sandler prepping a remake of the Mark Harmon classic Summer School (hollywoodreporter.com)
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For Rent: Hyde Park flat up for grabs during the Olympics complete with butler and Aston Martin. You too can live like royalty for a mere £11,000 a night (dailymail.co.uk)
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Mon April 02, 2012
| (WZZM-13) |
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Not news: Student requests use of helper animal on campus. News: University denies her request. Fark: Helper animal is Bianca the guinea pig (wzzm13.com)
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After 48 years, 576,000 miles, and a story on Fark a few years back, 93-year-old Florida woman stops driving her beloved 1964 Mercury due to age-related macular degeneration (foxnews.com)
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Marlins Park construction crew completely unaware they've been building a baseball stadium (theonion.com)
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Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer. Police describe the masked suspect as wearing a black-and-white striped shirt, and broad black hat, and muttering, 'Robble, robble' (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)
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Harry Crews, who wrote about a man eating a 1971 Ford Maverick, has passed. RIP to an ex-Marine, ex-boxer, ex-bouncer, ex-barker, and ex-drunk whose work AND life were "freakish drama, deep tragedy and the blackest of black comedy" (nytimes.com)
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Not news: airlines' treatment of passengers slow. Fark: ...ly Improves (abcnews.go.com)
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Not news: An alley-oop at a high school basketball game. Fark: Out of the shotgun formation (wimp.com)
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| (onlineathens) |
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Native Americans used a method of dramatically shaping trees in order to mark trails and other important landmarks. Many of these trees, bent 90 degrees and running parallel to the ground, are being rediscovered today (onlineathens.com)
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On Monday, 10 new items will mark Burger King's biggest menu expansion since the chain opened its doors in 1954. Where is your god now? (courant.com)
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Seattle Times like this FARK headline: "Dyslexic degenerate sports gamblers can't lose on Monday. It's KU and UK for all the marbles" (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Sun April 01, 2012
Sat March 31, 2012
Fri March 30, 2012
Thu March 29, 2012
 |
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Mental Floss uses real FARK stories in their own "FARK or Three's Company?" quiz (mentalfloss.com)
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That whole "ads on NBA jerseys" thing is probably going to happen. This article brought to you by Carl's Jr: Fark you, I'm eating (withleather.uproxx.com)
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No longer News: Teacher has sex with student. Sometimes News: Teacher is hot. Go directly to FARK: Teacher is a Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleader...and she's doing you, kid. +1 (news.cincinnati.com)
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Man wakes up to find front lawn stolen (news.com.au)
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Charles Barkley turns into Jennifer Hudson in new Weight Watchers ad (dailystab.com)
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The Adele Files: A global sex survey has revealed that the British are world leaders when it comes to lovemaking in the dark (dailymail.co.uk)
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Giant tornado five times the size of Earth demolishes a trailer park on the Sun (wired.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Richard Clarke on Stuxnet (readability.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"You found someone you like enough to marry? Who also wants to marry you? And now you want some farking towels as a bonus prize, are you kidding me?" (thefrisky.com)
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Female crash test dummies get injured more often, can't parallel park (abcnews.go.com)
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A woman looks at Ron Swanson and realizes what Fark has known for a long time. Ron Swanson is the greatest man ever (latimes.com)
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| (Viral Footage) |
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Cool: Base jump. Fark: Inside a church. Bonus: In Brussels, Belgium (viralfootage.com)
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| (fx green zone) |
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Fx Green Zone calls FARK one of the hot pages of the web (fxgreenzone.org)
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Not news: Red Wing loses on the road. News: To the Columbus Blue Jackets. Fark. On national television. Ultrafark: Due to injuries, Columbus started their 5th string goaltender, who got his first NHL win to boot (nhl.com)
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Bad: Brawl erupts at party after beer runs out. Worse: Four people shot, two stabbed, two beaten, one dead. FARK: This was a kid's birthday party (khou.com)
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 360: "Farktography Recipe Book". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)
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Wed March 28, 2012
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Why is Apple gaining market share? Well, elderly poor in the South keep dying, for starters (cnbc.com)
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Foot bones from possibly novel, upright hominid species found in Ethiopia, prompting Creation Museum to add a new monkey stall to the Ark exhibit (bbc.co.uk)
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Rock guitarist applies for trademark to fill niche for "Justice For Trayvon" hoodies. With Jimi-Hendrix-wannabe album cover pic of the entrepreneur (thesmokinggun.com)
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Lawyers, police, reporters who don't read Fark are shocked by driver's .384 BAC reading (bostonherald.com)
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| (The Skeptic) |
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Skeptic.com gives FARK credit for the story about unpleasant words like "dinosaurs," "birthdays," and "Halloween" which educators have banned from exams (skeptic.com)
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Congressman gets kicked off House floor for wearing a hoodie in support of Trayvon Martin. Fark: Because the Speaker claims it violates the House's rule against hats (thinkprogress.org)
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Baltimore to raise cash by selling its historical landmarks. Now accepting offers for Shot Tower, War Memorial Building, Brooks Robinson's glove (articles.baltimoresun.com)
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News: Soccer ref hands out five red cards. FARK: In the dressing room (stuff.co.nz)
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Bike parkour is the best parkour (youtube.com)
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Seattle Times give a shout out to FARK for this jewel: "Packers sign center Saturday. They signed him on Saturday? No, Friday. Who? Saturday. What?" (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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Not news: Woman gets revenge on school bullies. Fark: By becoming a smoking hot Victoria's Secret model (probably not safe for work) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Tue March 27, 2012
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What the fark is this? Obviously, you're not a golfer (gizmodo.com)
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If you were to ask 1,000 Farkers to name the best thing about Women's Beach Volleyball, 999 of them will give you the same answer. The other one sits on the Olympic Wardrobe Committee (sports.yahoo.com)
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Dick Cheney's heart plant surgery, Bob Uecker's statue juuust a bit outside of Miller Park, and a special report from Trevor McSmokingballs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/18 - 3/24 (fark.com)
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First probe since the 70s to reveal secrets of Mercury. Uranus still unremarkable though (washingtonpost.com)
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Hypervocal News gives credit to the FARK submitter who had fun with her husband's iPhone autocorrect feature (hypervocal.com)
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Japanese Court to Google: You must turn off your auto-complete feature because this man is offended at what it returns for his name. Google: how do you say "Bite me, you jurisdiction-lacking motherfarkers" in Japanese? (abcnews.go.com)
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Blood-alcohol level of .552, your move Vegas Farkers (suntimes.com)
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Submitter took a few suggestions from the Fark community and replaced words on her husband's iPhone. LGT photo album of results (imgur.com)
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WebProNews credits FARK as the source for the 130 episodes of the Simpsons simultaneously video (webpronews.com)
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How the Daily Mail Online conquered Britain, the Internet and Fark with fluff, fear, celebrity gossip and monkeys (newyorker.com)
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| (The Skeptic) |
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Skeptic.com credits FARK for the tip about AccuWeather not being so accurate (skeptic.com)
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Derick A. Thoene, 28, walked into Iowa City hall at 11:37 a.m. Thoene allegedly approached the lobby receptionist and said, 'I have your parking attendant in the trunk of my car, do you want him dead or alive?' (press-citizen.com)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News thanks FARK for drawing their attention to the odd story of multiple winning lottery tickets (doubtfulnews.com)
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Man arrested for repeatedly flashing people walking around a park and eating a bag of marijuana. Thank god he wasn't wearing a hoodie (press-citizen.com)
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| (Sci_Tech Today) |
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Peking Man fossils that were lost during WWII, while in transit to US for safekeeping, may be buried beneath parking lot in Qinhuangdao China (sci-tech-today.com)
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Mon March 26, 2012
Sun March 25, 2012
Sat March 24, 2012
 |
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Never before has such a large amount of parallel parking fail been squeezed into such a little car (liveleak.com)
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Good News: Surcharge for 3-D movies will soon be a thing of the past. Fark: By just making all tickets more expensive (boingboing.net)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Thirty-year-old hottie teaches 14-year-old not to tell his mother what they did. Since this is on Fark, it didn't work out that way. With pics and YES you would (wistv.com)
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Not news: Kid has food allergy. News: Will kill him if he even smells it. Fark: He's allergic to pretty much ALL food (shine.yahoo.com)
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Sixty reasons why Fark's favorite Warriors fan huffs paint (bonus: not a slideshow) (grantland.com)
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Stephen King reads a chapter from his upcoming eighth Dark Tower novel. Dad-a-chum, did-a-chee (shelf-life.ew.com)
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| (Daily Yomiuri) |
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Nearly bankrupt municipality of Izumi-Sano, Osaka Prefecture, plans to lease naming rights for city, city slogan, city hall, and public roads to interested applicants. Farkers see vacation to Izumi-Sano Boston Garden in their future (yomiuri.co.jp)
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MLB team in a small market set to welcome 3 million fans for the season. Ownership to pay for talent. In other news this is happening in Milwaukee. FARK: Team owner will profit. SuperFark: It might work (jsonline.com)
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UK supermarkets try to choke the hot chicken tax (guardian.co.uk)
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Let's give a loud FARK welcome to Wernerius inyoensis, a thumbnail sized new species of scorpion from Death Valley National Park (ktla.com)
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Gizmodo thanks FARK for the intensely hot firefighting video (gizmodo.com.au)
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Among the people who have worn hoodies and, therefore, according to Geraldo Rivera, are asking to be shot include Justin Bieber, Mark Zuckerberg, Rachel Maddow, Ellen Page, E.T. and Geraldo Rivera. Gentlemen, let's lock and load (theatlanticwire.com)
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Fri March 23, 2012
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Quiz time, come get your fresh Fark Weird News Quiz, right out of the oven (fark.com)
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| (Bellator) |
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Friday night fights Bellator 62 "fark it, my bracket is doomed" edition. The Heavyweight Tournament Final has been scrapped, Santos declared a Fatbodyweight, but the Lightweight Quarterfinals must go on. Fights start at 7pm ET (bellator.com)
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This means Mark Cuban automatically becomes owner and the Padres payroll balloons to $60 mil. Right? Right? Oh God it's hard being a Padres fan (nbcsandiego.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Geraldo Rivera brings his trademark investigative skills to the Trayvon Martin Case. This time he strikes gold (twitter.com)
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| (Some kid in a basement) |
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Billions of dollars of infrastructure later, DoD network is now thoroughly under control. Fark: "...by foreign spies." Awkward (threatpost.com)
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As more and more schools and supermarket reject pink slime beef, it could be the worst thing to ever happen to cattle (mnn.com)
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| (Brockton Enterprise) |
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Not news: Man gets third DUI. News: While on tractor. Fark: He was doing doughnuts in a Bobcat (enterprisenews.com)
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Bull market continues (reuters.com)
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Bear market begins (marketwatch.com)
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| (dustbury.com) |
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Dustbury picks the clever headline about HP's business merger as their FARK Blurb of the Week (dustbury.com)
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Have you ever seen the 'Dark Knight Rises' trailer on LEGOS, man? (youtube.com)
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Sir Ian McKellen and Stephen Fry should be granted honorary UltraFark status for life for this immensely good deed (bbc.co.uk)
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| (ITWorld) |
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20 iconic tech sounds that are nearly extinct in today's modern world. Hark, the modem sings SKREEEEE DAAAAAA DONK DONK DONK BSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (itworld.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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After a man was murdered on a dark stretch of a bike trail, city council decides it's best to add: A) Lights B) Police patrols C) A memorial bench (dailytidings.com)
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Not News: Fight outside of school. News: Prearranged on Facebook. FARK: Between two Moms (dailymail.co.uk)
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Not news: City Manager dumps his entire workload on his two assistants. Fark: Because he laid *himself* off in order to cut costs (huffingtonpost.com)
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General Mills' Wheaties dying a slow death in cereal marketplace, thanks to sports superstars like Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan no longer getting the eaties for their Wheaties (cnbc.com)
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Thu March 22, 2012
Wed March 21, 2012
| (Some Glowing Guy) |
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Photoshop this sparkling water (muz4in.net)
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Larry David gets trapped in a parking garage. Man, I loved that episode of Seinfeld (tmz.com)
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Remember the story about the jerk who ruined a for-fun beer darts league? (LGT original thread) Well, the jerk behind it is now targeting a Farker (DIT) (fark.com)
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If you missed the story from Arkansas last week, Saskatchewan police would also like to remind you not to rid yourself of boredom by texting "I hid the body... now what?" to strangers (canada.com)
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President Obama has no plans to mark the two-year anniversary of Obamacare this Friday. Wonder why he'd ignore a chance to celebrate such a momentous, historic event? (thehill.com)
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Not News: If I were the Devil speech perfectly describes the decay of modern-day America. Fark: Speech was given in 1965. "In other words, if I were Satan, I'd just keep on doing what he's doing" (nation.foxnews.com)
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Ever wonder how June Cleaver would have turned out if she was raised in Florida? (with DON'T FARK WITH ME" mugshot) (palmbeachpost.com)
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| (Northampton Chronicle) |
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Doggers put off by trimmed bushes (northamptonchron.co.uk)
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Made for Fark headline: "Menacing-looking artificial vaginas now sold at Walgreens" (now.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Some things in life are just inevitable... the sun rises, the seasons change, and FARK's favorite spray paint connoisseur, Patrick Tribett, will be arrested for huffing paint (wvjails.info)
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| (Doubtful News) |
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Doubtful News credits FARK for the weird story about a breathtaking find at the beach (doubtfulnews.com)
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In these difficult economic times, you'll be comforted to know that more CEOs than ever have surpassed the "earning more than $50 million per year" mark (usatoday.com)
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Canucks broadcaster gives Mark Recchi his medical credentials (ca.sports.yahoo.com)
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Tue March 20, 2012
Mon March 19, 2012
Sun March 18, 2012
Sat March 17, 2012
Fri March 16, 2012
Thu March 15, 2012
Wed March 14, 2012
Tue March 13, 2012
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Someone finally figures out that selling John Wilkes Booth bobble-heads in the Gettysburg National Park gift shop might be in bad taste (chicagotribune.com)
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Sid Meier: The art of making interesting decisions. Like making it possible for a spearman to defeat a FARKING TANK (g4tv.com)
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| (Hundred Black Out) |
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News: Rush Limbaugh attracts new sponsors. Fark: Sponsors like Westboro Baptist Church (hundredblackout.com)
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Pilot fatigue traced to dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court, skier wins competition on one ski despite paperboy, and Madonna skips adoption in lieu of marriage: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/4 - 3/10 (fark.com)
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"Websites such as the indispensable Drudge Report, Times 24/7, Real Clear Politics, Digg, Fark and Reddit collect news from sources spread across the Web." Wait... are we indispensable now? (4th paragraph) (webpronews.com)
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| (Press Herald) |
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Fark credited for embracing food critic's down-home sweetness and racking up many views: "I had never heard of going viral before and I didn't know what that means, so I'm just taking it all in my stride" (5th paragraph) (pressherald.com)
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One Farker's mashup of The Walking Dead and Office Space "has been deemed the preferred choice of the internet," according to Uproxx (not-safe-for-work) (uproxx.com)
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Cleveland.com recognizes Fark's snark for an Olive Garden reviewer (10th paragraph shoutout) (cleveland.com)
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Why being a Farker is great for creativity (wired.com)
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Why the invisible hand of the market is going all Caligula on Rush Limbaugh (mediamatters.org)
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Move over Fark Independents™, your Facebook Independent™ cousins are turning out to be just as annoying (news.cnet.com)
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Germany proposes tax on Fark and other news aggregators for linking to stories. Also considering tax on stock tips, fashion advice, and plans to sue Rwanda for patent infringement on death camps (washingtontimes.com)
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Another day, another five theme parks you've never heard about (techeblog.com)
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The Dark Tower returns from the dead, Friendo (gammasquad.uproxx.com)
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Fark.com gets a mention on the Today Show's story on internet sensation, food critic, Marilyn Hagerty (msnbc.msn.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Michelle Obama challenged on government role in anti-obesity campaign. Fark: By 11 year old (mega949.com)
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| (USM Free Press) |
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University of Southern Maine discusses news outlets and media sources: "During my first year, I expanded my horizons with websites like Fark for laughs" (usmfreepress.org)
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More and more doctors are standing up to parents who refuse to vaccinate their children and telling them to go fark themselves (yourlife.usatoday.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Westboro Baptist Chuch members to attend event. News: Westboro Baptist Chuch members invited to attend event. Fark: Westboro Baptist Chuch members invited to attend atheist rally. Hilarity sure to ensue (theblaze.com)
|
Mon March 12, 2012
Sun March 11, 2012
Sat March 10, 2012
Fri March 09, 2012
Thu March 08, 2012
Wed March 07, 2012
| |
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Stranded kite surfer survives over 40 hours on energy drinks and energy bars while waiting for coast guard to pick him up. Oh, and he had to stab a bunch of hungry sharks. They probably just wanted his energy bars (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com)
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A) Too busy submitting articles to FARK (io9.com)
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Florida town would like for fishermen to stop chumming for sharks off the public beach. Cause sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark (palmbeachpost.com)
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Good news, TFettes: Here's a list of all the Vegas party pools where you'll be able to go topless for the Fark Convention March 30-April 1 (travel.usatoday.com)
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Captain Jack Harkness lands in 1895, this fall on ABC (insidetv.ew.com)
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Parks & Rec films two season finales to throw everyone off the scent of whether or not Leslie Knope wins the election (deadline.com)
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Worried about your 10 shares of Merck losing a point or two during yesterday's market sell off? Well, the 20 richest people on the planet lost a total of $11.3 billion (businessweek.com)
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Imagine a country where there's: No Obamacare, No income tax, A complete free market, No Unions, No Govt involved in Business, Health Care, Labor matters or pretty much anything else except national security. Here's the Tea Party Heaven (democraticunderground.com)
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If Fark had thumbnail previews this would be an easy greenlight, unfortunately (gawker.com)
|
Tue March 06, 2012
Mon March 05, 2012
Sun March 04, 2012
Sat March 03, 2012
Fri March 02, 2012
Thu March 01, 2012
Wed February 29, 2012
Tue February 28, 2012
Mon February 27, 2012
Sun February 26, 2012
Sat February 25, 2012
Fri February 24, 2012
Thu February 23, 2012
Wed February 22, 2012
| (Some Guy) |
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Ever flirt with someone in a park? Congratulations, you're under arrest (gay.americablog.com)
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| (Some Fueler) |
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Alcohol may be the gas for future airplanes. Hell, this alcohol-to-gas conversion has been running Fark since '99 (flightglobal.com)
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The Mets finally win one. Fark: a lawsuit about hot dogs (sports.yahoo.com)
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Farmers' Market attracts a younger crowd, which means you now also have to avoid crashing tricycles (heraldtribune.com)
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| (The BigLead) |
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Cubs fan buys domain name for Red Sox new spring training park and redirects it to the Yankees homepage. In other news, only three more weeks until the Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the post-season (thebiglead.com)
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Fail: Falling because you were texting while walking. Fark: Through the shot of a live news report (blog.trutv.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Polling confirms the Fark Politics tab: Fascists love Texas, Commies love Massachusetts, and everyone hates California (940winz.com)
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With all other crime taken care of, Rio de Janeiro takes aim at Carnival urinators. Fark: The first part of that sentence is actually close to being pretty accurate (news.yahoo.com)
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Actor sneaked cocaine into the White House Correspondent's Dinner, so Obama's a junkie and Sarah Palin is automatically president. Fark: Source is not Fox News (tampabay.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mark Cuban saves St. Patrick's Day parade. "I just thought it was fair that other people should be able to kill as many brain cells on Greenville Avenue as I have in my life" (irishcentral.com)
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Hey, brah. Maybe it's time for the markets to turn their lives over to Christ brah (cnbc.com)
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What do you mean "Nominated for Fark.com's headline of the year, 2011" and "Time Magazine's Person of the Year 2006" aren't proper qualifications for my resum *bzzt* hang on, I gotta get this (forbes.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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The world's strangest beer commercials, including beer for kids, a man being killed by a harpoon, and Van Damme sporting a remarkable mullet while discussing his talking nipples (marketingmag.com.au)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Theme: Fark Vegas World Party 2012 predictions (pledgebank.com)
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Seattle Times gives Fark a thumbs up for this jewel: "Celtics' Rajon Rondo discovers that you don't get an assist for throwing the basketball at the ref" (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
|
Tue February 21, 2012
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Gun accident leaves pastor's daughter holier than thou, LHC goes to ludicrous speed, and a bison as a best man, Tatonka very much: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 2/12 - 2/18 (fark.com)
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| (We Heart It) |
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We Heart It thinks that FARK's witty headline about a shopping cart accident hits a bullseye (weheartit.com)
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School board updates dress code to ban jeans, sweatpants, flip-flops, and shirts that show too much cleavage and midriffs. Fark: The dress code is for the teachers, not the students (azcentral.com)
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I'm a little farked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to farkin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? (clickorlando.com)
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Answer: Fark themselves (denofgeek.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Researchers testing new Alzheimer's drug. News: studies show the drug actually impairs memory. Fark: "The new findings are not a red light for [the drug's] development" (myhealthnewsdaily.com)
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Comcast touts new 50Mbps internet connection for mental health facility. Crazies will now have even faster access to Fark politics tab (marketwatch.com)
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Ukranian parkour dog. With much wagging happy crazy jumpiness (liveleak.com)
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Cinema accidentally shows trailer for The Devil Inside to toddlers. Number of angry parents already surpasses those who have actually seen the whole farking movie (shortlist.com)
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Alan Rickman, he of the ladypart-melting voice, turns 66 today. Here's his reading of Sonnet 130, known on Fark as "Ode To A Girl With Sharp Knees" (youtube.com)
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| (Thanks but no tanks) |
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Thanksbutnotanks.com: "The commenters are the best part of FARK" (thanksbutnotanks.fr33agents.com)
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| (annarbor.com) |
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Ann Arbor.com notes that the fastest way to get an unusual business idea off the ground is to get a link from FARK (annarbor.com)
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Not news: Fast food CEO works a shift at one of his restaurants for an episode of "Undercover Boss". Fark: He's so shocked by the abusive behavior of the shift manager that he breaks cover and confronts him (w/photos & video) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Mon February 20, 2012
Sun February 19, 2012
Sat February 18, 2012
Fri February 17, 2012
Thu February 16, 2012
| |
|
Gizmodo gives props to Fark for directing them to a story about a remedial eBay user (gizmodo.com)
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Britain's fattest woman weighs 560 lbs and hasn't left her house in four years. She can still post on Fark though, which is nice (dailymail.co.uk)
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Panasonic to stop manufacturing VCRs for Japanese market. If you're unsure what a VCR is, ask your parents (nypost.com)
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HBO to Netflix: Fark You. Netflix to HBO: Right back at ya, pardner (sfgate.com)
|
| (reality world) |
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How bad is reality TV? History professor says networks have run out of material and are stealing ideas from the Dark Ages (realitytvworld.com)
|
| (Truthspew) |
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Truthspew tells its readers that the latest FARK photoshop contest is really out of this world (truthspew.wordpress.com)
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Guy stops suspect robbing neighbor. "I'm no hero. Just an everyday, ordinary business man"... with a big farking gun (khou.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
|
Turns out Apple does actually own the "iPad" trademark in China, but since when has the rule of law or honor been relevant in China? (allthingsd.com)
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Iron Sky, the Finnish sci-fi movie depicting an attack on Earth from Nazi communities hidden on the dark side of the moon, just debuted in Berlin. Bonus: it's also coming to the US (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
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| (Some Cute Puppy) |
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Farkette humbly requests help from fellow Farkers. Not for herself, but for an out of work friend and his furry roommates. DIT (facebook.com)
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| (Some Farker) |
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Farker Pxlboy requests to be Photoshopped in honor of his 10th year on Fark (smg.photobucket.com)
|
| (Kamloops Daily News) |
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Kamloops Daily News picks FARK's MMA headline as one of the sports hits of the week (2nd section) (kamloopsthisweek.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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There are many challenges to a 1000 mile sled dog race: cold weather, deep snow, wolves stealing the trail markers, ice overflows, injur... wait, what? (newsminer.com)
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 354: "Places of Worship". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)
|
Wed February 15, 2012
| (MyFoxPhilly) |
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Not news: Sharing bags of tea is the latest trend at a Philadelphia elementary school. FARK: We're not talking Lipton... if ya know what I'm sayin' (myfoxphilly.com)
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Hypervocal News uses FARK comments in their revealing article about Facebook pictures on a porn site (hypervocal.com)
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Mark Sanchez asks Santonio Holmes "to be my Valentine" Awwwww (espn.go.com)
|
| (Chronicle) |
|
Professor and author of two books on the 1886 Haymarket riot attempts to correct an inaccuracy on the event's Wikipedia entry; has correction reversed, is called a vandal, is told site is based on what's popular, not what's true (chronicle.com)
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| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop the demise of our over-used meme and Fark cliché, Lootie. (So long, buddy, we're really gonna miss ya) (imageshack.us)
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CNBC analyzes market performance relative to the hair color of the cover model on SI's Swimuit Edition. BEST. MARKET INDICATOR. EVAAAAAR. (bonus: with pics) (cnbc.com)
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Kate Winslet on watching herself in Titanic: "Block my ears, somebody. Somebody club out my senses. Make it farking stop'" (celebitchy.com)
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Kim Jong UnDead, another Italian jumps off a sinking ship, and men no longer offering Courtney Cox: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/5 - 2/11 (fark.com)
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| |
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Gizmodo thanks FARK for hooking them up to a weird cell tower story (gizmodo.com)
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| (Star Gazette) |
|
Bad: Getting busted. Worse: Performing community service. Fark: Getting more time added onto your sentence for affixing a sex toy to the County van (stargazette.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Flirting with your professor is a common and effective way to get ahead in class. But writing a whole paper about wanting to fark your prof when you're a 56 year old male student will get you a three-semester suspension (wilx.com)
|
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|
Chris Brown, in response to criticism - "Hate all you want because I got a Grammy, now that's the ultimate FARK OFF." Yep, he's really sorry for what he did (huffingtonpost.com)
|
Tue February 14, 2012
Mon February 13, 2012
Sun February 12, 2012
Sat February 11, 2012
Fri February 10, 2012
Thu February 09, 2012
Wed February 08, 2012
Tue February 07, 2012
Mon February 06, 2012
Sun February 05, 2012
Sat February 04, 2012
Fri February 03, 2012
| |
|
"You put your naked supermarket burglar in my chocolate and peanut butter" -- "No, you put your chocolate and peanut butter on my naked supermarket burglar" (dailymail.co.uk)
|
| |
|
Fark Quiz time, you know the drill. Can you beat your score from last week? (fark.com)
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| |
|
Bad: You're repairing a yacht when it sets sail with you on board. Worse: It's going to Antarctica. Fark: The skipper's last trip there sank (telegraph.co.uk)
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|
Study says Republicans have more orgasms, probably from farking 99% of the population (thedailybeast.com)
|
| |
|
Protip: Whenever a news story ends with a question mark, the answer is always "no". Case in point: "Is Bill Belichick quietly the NFL's best-dressed coach?" (slate.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Fark ready headline "Christians Boycott Starbucks - Because Romans 1 Explains Starbucks Hates God" (usachristianministries.com)
|
| (Wait, what?) |
|
Advice: If you are Muslim, or even have a Muslim sounding name, don't text your co-workers and tell them to "Blow away" the competition. Fark: Especially if you are in Quebec (thechronicleherald.ca)
|
| (NC Times) |
|
Kim Dotcom to judge: "You have to grant me bail, your honor, because I'm receiving unwanted advances from all the female inmates." Judge: "You've got to be farking kidding me. DENIED" (nctimes.com)
|
 |
|
'Liberal' leaning Fark gets mentioned in a WAAY TV story about Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill and his controversial statements (waaytv.com)
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Subby's looking for a new beer to try. I know you won't disappoint, Fark (fark.com)
|
Thu February 02, 2012
Wed February 01, 2012
Tue January 31, 2012
 |
|
Reese Witherspoon responds to Justin Bieber's desire to remake Fear: "Would he be playing me, or is he playing Mark Wahlberg?" OH SNAP (thesuperficial.com)
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"Four South Side areas landed on AOL's dailyfinance.com list of the 25 most dangerous neighborhoods, which was posted Monday on Fark.com." We're always down with what happens in the streets, G (redeyechicago.com)
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| |
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The most polite "Fark you, you S.O.B." letter it's ever been subby's pleasure to read (news.yahoo.com)
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Lazy New Jerseyans don't like pumping their own gas or using parking meters where you have to walk back to your car to put the receipt in the windshield (nj.com)
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John thought he could casually walk into the supermarket, pour bleach on the chicken and pork, and slip out without anyone noticing. But something - SOMETHING - made him stand out (w/ mugshot goodness) (myfoxdc.com)
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| (Miami New Times) |
|
"Newt Gingrish look like a hackler. He looks like he get on people's nerves just for the fark of it,'" and more insight on the Florida GOP primary from Miami strippers Skrawberry and Tip Drill (blogs.miaminewtimes.com)
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From this day forward, we shall call the galaxy TotalFark (io9.com)
|
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Study finds women are better at parking than men, but only because other cars on the street flee in terror at their approach (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Not news: Super Bowl stadiums. Fark: made of meat (blogs.westword.com)
|
| (charlotte observer) |
|
Made for Fark headline brought to you by North Carolina. "Cox indicted in Flying Biscuit Death" (charlotteobserver.com)
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Sports news: Topps releases 2012 baseball card set. Fark : St Louis Cardinal Skip Schumaker was replaced by a squirrel (inquisitr.com)
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| |
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "Top RIM jobs were too powerful and had to go" (theregister.co.uk)
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"...although there are some photos of Manning wearing the number 16... which we're guessing is some kind of FARK Photoshop prank to tease fans of the Buccaneers..." (5th section) (espn.go.com)
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Alaska gears up for a hostile takeover of Central Park (mnn.com)
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Maine Squash League celebrates making the main page of FARK with a full page capture of the historic event (mainesquashleague.com)
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Fark headline recipe: article about female teacher having sex with students (check), vodak (check), Not Sure if Want pic (check) (dailymail.co.uk)
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Mon January 30, 2012
Sun January 29, 2012
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