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Headlines matching 'Ark'
Mon May 28, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(CNN) Florida Tropical Storm Beryl enters Florida, immediately becomes depressed. Farkers fully understand why  (cnn.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Kansas has just farked itself  (www2.ljworld.com) (363)
(The wfds) Amusing The WFDS loves the way FARK headlined a recent Nova Scotia story in a truly Canadian way  (thewfds.blogspot.com) (0)
(Bellingham Herald) Amusing Semi hauling toilet paper tips over on highway. Fark puns taken off the endangered species list  (bellinghamherald.com) (61)
(The Raw Story) Scary At least there's one good thing that can be said about the economy. The black market organ business is booming  (rawstory.com) (36)


Sun May 27, 2012
(NASCAR) Spiffy The King's cars sweep the front row, while Danica Patrick and Kurt Busch race the start-and-park crowd. Your racing trifecta ends with the Coca-Cola 600, live from Charlotte at 5:30PM ET on Fox  (nascar.com) (1097)
(CNN) Cool Dario Franchitti wins Indy 500, bestowing upon Fark another thread of hot Ashley Judd photos  (cnn.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Amusing Mayor of San Antonio has a few words for Charles Barkley  (foxsportssouthwest.com) (22)
(NESN) Amusing Wes Welker receives hate mail from TotalFarker  (nesn.com) (26)
(Canada.com) Amusing Canada.com finds FARK's clever headline about Michael Vick to be quite engaging  (canada.com) (0)
(Doubtful News) Florida Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the story about Florida students and faculty acting rashly  (skeptic.com) (0)


Sat May 26, 2012
(Stars and Stripes) Asinine You can get just about anything you want at Afghan markets, including lots of stolen American military goods  (stripes.com) (64)
(Fark) FarkParty Chicago Fark Party - 9 June - New bat time, new bat channel  (fark.com) (104)
(The New York Times) Obvious Socialism turns out to be tremendous for the real-estate market, if the socialism is in France and the real-estate market is in New York  (nytimes.com) (29)
(BBC) Spiffy Glitz, kitsch, human rights violations, a pack of Russian grandmothers, more cheese than a tailgate party at Lambeau Field, politicized voting, and Engelbert farking Humperdinck. It must be time for your 2012 Eurovision Song Contest thread  (bbc.co.uk) (409)
(Detroit News) Asinine Detroit officials plan to turn off half of all streetlights to save cash. Angry residents once again left in the dark  (detroitnews.com) (40)
(YouTube) Cool 1982 Sci-Fi Convention "Blade Runner" behind the scenes short film you've never seen. Bonus: Syd Mead discussing how the parking meters he designed would electrocute anyone trying to tamper with them  (youtube.com) (12)
(Fark) FarkParty San Diego Fark Party, THIS SATURDAY May 26th 6:00pm at Pizza Port Solana Beach  (fark.com) (291)
(Reading Eagle) Amusing High school approves senior prank involving markers. Because you're reading this on Fark, you can safely assume that there was a glitch or two  (readingeagle.com) (29)
(Fark) FarkParty TORONTO FARK PARTY - June 2nd. 1pm Blue Jays v. Red Sox, 8pm variety show at The Comedy Bar - stand-up, music and burlesque acts put together by our very own Mike "Nug" Nahrgang (AKA The Mustard Man). Come mooch a beer off Drew  (fark.com) (144)
(io9) Obvious Jurassic Park was built by prisoners in Cuba, with obligatory pics of prehistoric Cubans fighting cave-bears  (io9.com) (27)


Fri May 25, 2012
(Gawker) Spiffy Not news: Bill Murray turns down fan's request for autograph. Fark: Bill Murray agrees to star in his short film instead  (gawker.com) (45)
(NHL) Cool Will Zach Parise book his team a ticket to the Stanley Cup Final? Will Ryan Callahan pull a Mark Messier? Are the Kings getting a nice tan while awaiting their opponent? Devils-Rangers Game 6 from the Prudential Center (8:10pm, NBC Sports)  (nhl.com) (666)
(Gizmodo) Cool Gizmodo gives credit to Fark for telling them about a dad who went a little too far in retaliating against his son's principal  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(New Musical Express) Interesting Bridge from Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under The Bridge" located in MacArthur Park. In other news, someone left a cake out in the rain  (nme.com) (58)
(Fark) Survey It's time for the Fark News Quiz. The only quiz in the world that's easier to pass if you have a few stiff drinks first  (fark.com) (38)
(Business Insider) Interesting "People unwilling to work seems to be a real moral quandary, as reflected by the Fark comments on the story. Some don't have any sympathy, some think she needs more help." That's Fark for you (3rd paragraph)  (businessinsider.com) (47)
(Lincoln Journal Star) Followup Old news: Nebraska man convicted of driving while drunk and naked, with truck full of naked passengers. New News: Arrested for stealing 2700 gallons of jet fuel to run his farm equipment. Fark: 1400 gallons of it remain missing  (journalstar.com) (47)
(Smh.com.au) Asinine Warren Buffet hates Fark.com  (smh.com.au) (77)
(ESPN) Weird News: Tim Tebow shines at Jets practice. Fark: On punt coverage. Obvious: At quarterback, not so much  (espn.go.com) (53)
(Short List) Strange Not news: man divorces wife over her cats. Fark: she has 550 of them  (shortlist.com) (83)
(NewsOK) Cool "We will not let a tornado ruin our wedding, FARK you tornado"  (newsok.com) (56)
(Daily Mail) Weird Today's Fark-ready headline: "Man goes to hospital with a kidney stone... and discovers he's a woman"  (dailymail.co.uk) (71)
(Smh.com.au) Cool Disneyland Japan to let cute Japanese lesbians have their wedding at the theme park. This is a great step forward for gay rights in Japan and... aw, hell, you stopped reading at "Cute Japanese Lesbians", didn't you?  (smh.com.au) (57)
(Some Guy) Followup Judge approves extradition for L.A. arsonist's mother, whose photo will now be attached to every "your mom" Fark headline  (mega949.com) (39)
(The Sun) Scary Dark Side of Kaboom  (thesun.co.uk) (31)
(Yahoo) Followup Casey Anthony spends her days eating in front of the computer. No word on what her Fark handle is  (news.yahoo.com) (161)
(BBC) Amusing Fugitive penguin recaptured in Tokyo. Keepers are keen to return it to the Sea Life Park, but on the other hand they've already mixed up 200 pounds of batter for penguin tempura  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious Globe and Mail picks FARK Mobile as one of the apps that make news reading better  (theglobeandmail.com) (0)
(Michigan State 247.sports) Amusing Michigan State 247 Sports loves FARK's headline prediction about their national title game  (michiganstate.247sports.com) (0)
(YouTube) Video Got an hour and a half to kill? Want to hear Star Wars as performed be Jake the Dog, Pinky and the Brain, Philip J. Fry, Batman and Twilight Sparkle?  (youtube.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Florida Legoland Florida sets Guinness world record for Dumbest Stunt Performed at a Theme Park Modeled After a Toy  (baynews9.com) (35)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times gives a shout out to Fark for this gem about Michael Vick: "Couple now registered at Macy's, Bloomingdales, PetSmart" (Mid-way down)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Not really news: Woman kicked off plane. Fark: For wearing a T-shirt that said, "If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd f--k a senator" (w/video)  (huffingtonpost.com) (335)


Thu May 24, 2012
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting Woman fined for damaging telemarketer's hearing after blowing whistle into phone. Whatever the fine was, put me down for two  (thelocal.de) (175)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this Central Park encounter  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Amusing Old man drives wheelchair down the highway to confront other old man at trailer park over $5 owed. Other old man is naked and using a cane. They end up in a naked, wheelchair bound cane / stick fight in the front yard. Ta-Da  (onlineathens.com) (51)
(YouTube) Cool The new TV spot for The Dark Knight Rises gives us a better look at Catwoman and her shenanigans. "My wife?"  (youtube.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Stupid Not News: Teen suspended. News: for faking suicide. Fark: in class project video on bullying  (wiod.com) (45)
(The Atlantic) Spiffy Happy 40th to ****, ****, FARK, ****, **********, ************, and ****  (theatlantic.com) (39)
(Doubtful News) Cool Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the chilling story about a 10 kilo chunk of ice in China  (skeptic.com) (0)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 368: "Sleeve-faced" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (27)
(My Fox DC) Florida Not sure what is more Farking awesome: (1) High school student Tebowing on stage during his graduation (2) School withholds his diploma, orders him to clean school gym (3) Cleaning the gym was his mom's idea  (myfoxdc.com) (162)


Wed May 23, 2012
(NewsBusters) Dumbass CNN: Obama only lost Arkansas and Kentucky because they aren't and never have been Democrat strongholds even though nearly every election since 1900 they went Democrat including 1996 and Obama beat Hillary there in 2008  (newsbusters.org) (120)
(Doubtful News) Cool Doubtful News thanks Fark for drawing their attention to catastrophic story about Turkey's cats  (doubtfulnews.com) (2)
(Some Guy) Scary A Columbia S.C. man finds discovers just how farking huge a rat snake can actually get  (wistv.com) (166)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Man ticketed for littering. Fark: Ticket was for dropping money on the ground. Bonus Fark: The money fell as he was handing it off to a wheelchair-bound homeless man  (fox8.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Silly The biggest movie marketing failures. Meesa no like lollipops no more  (smosh.com) (14)
(CNN) Sad Janitor finds out NASA wasn't just farking around when they painted KEEP CLEAR on those launch pads  (cnn.com) (66)
(sec.gov) Spiffy Some guy named Mark Zuckerberg sold 30.2 million shares of FB common stock at $37.58. These damn daytraders... I tell ya  (sec.gov) (39)
(Business News Daily) Cool Now NOTHING can stop me from making sure Fark has top-quality submissions all day long* (*Top-quality submission guarantee does not apply to this one)  (businessnewsdaily.com) (1)
(CNBC) Scary Gold falls on weakening Euro, market uncertainty, and likelihood of a European recession. Wait, what?  (cnbc.com) (3)
(WRCB-TV) Amusing The quaint Southern tradition of parking your car on your lawn is coming under attack. No word on whether that includes cars up on cinder blocks or not  (wrcbtv.com) (43)
(WTKR) Fail Protip: If you're going to rob a general store in the rural south, assume the clerk has a gun hidden behind the register. Fark: General store is on Acorn Hill Road in Hobbsville  (wtkr.com) (43)
(Fark) FarkParty Geek Pride Night 9pm 5/23 at Skybar in Bowling Green, OH. Farkers most definitely welcome to our party  (fark.com) (45)
(Glossy News) Strange Glossy News notes how FARK and others picked up the never ending story about one man's fight against the internet (1st paragraph)  (glossynews.com) (1)


Tue May 22, 2012
(Newser) Amusing Research confirms what Farkers already knew: eating healthy organic food turns you into a douche and leaves you with only 26 minutes to get to the gym  (newser.com) (54)
(Fark) FarkBlog Fruit truck experiences an explosion of flavor, Starbuck inconsolable as Vermont bans fracking, and Lindsay Lohan's rented bolthole: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/13 - 5/19  (fark.com) (6)
(Google) Photoshop Theme : Create a Fark doodle  (google.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Obvious Let's see how long it took Warner Bros. to create their new Dark Knight Rises poster  (25.media.tumblr.com) (123)
(Some Guy) Silly DC Comics introduces "Superman Family Adventures," starring Clark, Lois, Jimmy, Zod, Fuzzy the Krypto Mouse, and the rest of the gang  (dccomics.com) (27)
(Some Cheese Head) Weird Wisconsin has a Deer Czar, and he firmly believes that State and National Parks are a commie plot. Like to hunt on public land? "Sucks to be you"  (lodivalleynews.com) (115)
(Boston.com) Dumbass Not news: Grandma lets granddaughter test drive her car. Fark: 10-year old granddaughter hits three cars in a McDonald's parking lot  (boston.com) (23)
(The Register) Amusing The Register takes a break from murdering the English language to remind Farkers they can't do that with a headline =(  (theregister.co.uk) (23)
(WTKR) Sick Four adults tie 15-year-old girl to tree, hit her with eggs and pour beer on her. Fark: Two of them are her legal guardians  (wtkr.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Scary SCOTUS: 'Fark the eighth amendment'  (theverge.com) (236)
(BusinessWeek) Followup Remember when GM pulled their Facebook ads because they "didn't work"? Turns out, the real reason they didn't work is because GM just sucks at online marketing  (businessweek.com) (61)
(Short List) Interesting What's smaller than Mark Zuckerberg? Erm, Ark Zuckerber?  (shortlist.com) (8)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Today's FARK-ready headline: "Ohio family in 'Porkopolis' seeks return of stolen swine statue that was wearing eyeglasses"  (sun-sentinel.com) (7)


Mon May 21, 2012
(My Fox Memphis) Asinine Want to sit next to your spouse or kid on the airplane? Pay more. Why? Because fark you, that's why  (myfoxmemphis.com) (93)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Not News: Loner cannot get a date to the prom. News: Track coach feels sorry for him so she escorts him there. Fark: She gets canned even though no shenanigans took place  (dailymail.co.uk) (96)
(CBC) Sad Not news: some people climbed Everest. News: Three died on descent because of "traffic jam". Fark: Everest has traffic jams because apparently the only mountaineering experience required is Photoshop  (cbc.ca) (162)
(KLTV.com) Stupid Fark ready headline of the day: Naked toddler left in car; mom dances in driveway. "...with a cupholder from her car stuck in her hair"  (kltv.com) (33)
(ABC27) Dumbass "So how did this vehicle crash ma'am?" "My 8 year old son was playing in it while it was in park, and it somehow got off that and crashed"  (abc27.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Building built with 500,000 beer bottles, or the trash from roughly one fark party  (lvrj.com) (20)
(The Courier-Journal) Ironic News: Shooting happens in a bad part of town. Unusual: Six people are shot, three of them fatally. Fark: One of those fatally shot was the boyfriend of a woman who wore a "No Boyfriend, No Problem" shirt to the crime scene  (courier-journal.com) (60)
(Visual.ly) Interesting Interactive graphic lets you watch Mark Zuckerberg lose money in real time (scroll to the bottom)  (visual.ly) (77)
(Celebslam) Asinine Kourtney Kardashian parks in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (74)
(Doubtful News) Interesting Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for the unbelievable story about a UFO  (skeptic.com) (0)
(The Oakland Press) Strange I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It-now with added trailer park and frying pan fight  (theoaklandpress.com) (31)
(KKTV) Silly 7th grader suspended for buying "Happy Crack." Clarification: "Happy Crack" has nothing to do with your plumber. Fark: "Happy Crack" is sugar and Kool Aid power. Happy Crack Happy Crack Happy Crack  (kktv.com) (62)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-Man, Prometheus: which blockbuster has given the most footage away in trailers? Turns out it's not actually Prometheus  (denofgeek.com) (33)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Ways to successfully obtain sex: dating sites, bars, prostitutes, Craigslist hookups. Ways to unsuccessfully obtain sex and simultaneously make the front page of Fark: get naked and blindfolded, and tie yourself to a tree  (huffingtonpost.com) (52)
(UPI) Amusing Nobody's gonna be afraid of you in jail if your nickname is Skidmark  (upi.com) (19)


Sun May 20, 2012
(CBC) Obvious Plan to row across the Atlantic cancelled after crew realized their plan was to row across the farking Atlantic Ocean  (cbc.ca) (37)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Stephen Strasburg's first career homerun helps close out the last game of the BW Parkway series  (mlb.mlb.com) (21)
(The Tennessean) Interesting Not news: Obama and Romney locked in close race, Romney ahead by only one point. Fark: In Tennessee  (tennessean.com) (150)
(MSNBC) Interesting New York City's first million-dollar private parking space to hit the market soon. Comes with its own deed, sales contract, and maintenance fees  (msnbc.msn.com) (95)
(Des Moines Register) Fail Town upset that their landmark is going to be destroyed in the name of progress. That landmark? A scrapyard  (desmoinesregister.com) (37)
(The New York Times) Fail After the murder of two Chinese USC students, their parents are suing the college on the grounds that USC's marketing materials described the campus as being in an "urban" location rather than "crime infested"  (nytimes.com) (224)
(Cracked) Interesting Remember the Sega Saturn? It is among The 5 Worst Marketing Failures in the History of Video Games  (cracked.com) (92)
(The New York Times) Wheaton "Moreover, Wheaton had posted links to some of Cline's poetry slam work on the news and discussion site Fark.com." He's nothing if not a renaissance man. (6th paragraph from the bottom)  (nytimes.com) (3)
(NHL) Misc Will the Yotes finally scurry out of the darkness to break the Kings' domination of Round 3; or, will the Kings clinch their rein over the West? It's your Sunday NHL Playoffs thread  (nhl.com) (505)
(Democratic Underground) Amusing Democratic Underground thanks FARK for the thread about funniest protest signs ever seen  (democraticunderground.com) (0)


Sat May 19, 2012
(Some Guy) Amusing Headline: Shrubbery Stolen, Knights Who Say 'Ni' Remain at Large. Fark: No, realli  (weston-ct.patch.com) (34)
(Daily Mail) Scary Plane nearly collides with Denver street light. With helpful news graphic of flying question mark  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(SacBee) Asinine FARK: Target fires "well-liked" employee after 16 years. TotalFark: For leaving late to take her meal breaks. UltraFark: 3 times in 18 months. Law$uitFark: She has a disability that makes it difficult for her to keep track of time  (sacbee.com) (166)
(KATU) Misc It is just not true that Loretta Lynn was a Kentucky Hillbilly that got married at age 13. New research shows that she was 15. FARK needs a Redneck tag  (katu.com) (44)
(Deadspin) Spiffy Australian golfer shoots lowest round of golf ever recorded with 12 birdies, two eagles. FARK: His partner shoots a 69 and loses by 14 strokes  (deadspin.com) (21)
(Doubtful News) Strange Doubtful News/The Skeptic thanks FARK for a devil of a story about a Florida evangelist  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Some Guy) Amusing That awkward moment when you realize the vehicle you reported stolen a few hours ago has been parked in the weeds in your front yard the whole time  (dacula.patch.com) (43)
(Doubtful News) Interesting Doubtful News thanks FARK for airing the interesting story about Donna Summer and lung cancer  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Stanford University) Spiffy Interactive online simulation allows you to chart a route through the Roman world circa 200 AD. It's like a Google Maps for the Ancient Roman Empire. And hey, I found the brothel your mom worked at. It's marked with an enormous X  (orbis.stanford.edu) (18)


Fri May 18, 2012
(Yahoo) Strange There appears to be a market for fetuses and dead babies, fetuses that have been roasted and covered in gold leaf bring in a bit more cash due to the 'good luck' factor  (news.yahoo.com) (136)
(WFAA) Asinine Obamunists, Paulterians, Mittenfreaks, and maybe even Johnsoners can all agree on something: arresting a WWII veteran for "electioneering" from wearing an Obama t-shirt in a room next to a poll is pretty farked up  (wfaa.com) (154)
(Art Info) Amusing Art Info thanks FARK for the tip of humorous suggestions for new "Star Trek" television spinoffs. (#5)  (artinfo.com) (1)
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work  (fark.com) (34)
(Toronto Star) Interesting Fark Survey: Shorting Facebook stock: When and how much?  (thestar.com) (83)
(Crain's) Dumbass Not news: Chicago Cubs owner seeking $100 million in tax breaks. Fark: Apparently so he can spend more of his own money on a PAC attacking Obama. Dumbass: Apparently he's also forgotten what Chicago's mayor's previous job was  (chicagobusiness.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Amusing Ready for Fark journalism: "Police said Rachel George spat on, cursed at and kicked officers while they attempted to make her sit, and Sgt. Sean Duffy injured himself striking her in the face"  (triblive.com) (34)
(Deadspin) Video Adventures in local news reporting: "Fark you, I hope you get AIDS" with a bonus drunk, shirtless man falling out of a window behind a reporter  (deadspin.com) (22)
(Media Matters) Dumbass Radio host and easy prey Rush Limbaugh wonders when the environmentalist wackos are going to start doing something about all the pollution and environmental damage being caused by lions, tigers, and sharks  (mediamatters.org) (143)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop a recruitment poster for Fark  (google.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Cool It's not a hero, it's FARKMAN (some NSFW language & semi-NSFW animated images)  (umop.com) (57)


Thu May 17, 2012
(MLive.com) Misc Sad: Puppy Mill. Weird: Run by senior citizens. Scary: The Mugshots. It is a Fark Tag Trifecta  (mlive.com) (78)
(PennLive) Obvious Bud Selig about the Oakland Athletics: "FARK it, if they can't build a new ballpark let's move them somewhere else"  (blog.pennlive.com) (103)
(St. Petersburg Times) Asinine Don't you dare bring anything that even remotely resembles a gun to the RNC convention, the Tampa City Council has banned it Fark: Concealed REAL guns are OK, thanks to the Brain Trust in the Florida Legislature and that genius Rick Scott  (tampabay.com) (93)
(CSMonitor) Cool ATTENTION DC FARKERS: Betty White will be at the National Zoo tomorrow. Line up and take your best shot, boys  (csmonitor.com) (41)
(Fox News) Asinine News: Tebow sues t-shirt vendor for using his name. Fark: T-shirt doesn't refer to Tebow, it refers to Jesus  (foxnews.com) (53)
(WTOP) Hero Not news: Bartender walks female patron home. News: Thief tries to steal her purse. Fark: Bartender fights him off, gets stabbed eight times. Totalfark: He has no health insurance; the bar is hosting a fundraiser to pay his bills. Can we help?  (wtop.com) (132)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 367: "Scavenger Hunt 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (101)


Wed May 16, 2012
(Some Guy) Sick Tony Stark to face off against classic Marvel supervillain for Iron Man 3. Nah, just kidding, it's one of those mid-'90s hair guys everyone tried to forget  (badassdigest.com) (113)
(Slate) Interesting Not news: Most Americans opposed to massive government spending. Fark: On the Apollo space program  (slate.com) (42)
(Some Bunny) Sad A Farker needs our help  (nei.nih.gov) (623)
(Some zoo's blog) Cool Ugly ass-snow leopards born at Woodland Park Zoo. Link goes to some sucky blog and horrific pics  (woodlandparkzblog.blogspot.com) (47)
(Huffington Post) Followup "Repeal and Replace" replaced by "Fark it. We're not going to do something hard like health care reform"  (huffingtonpost.com) (117)
(Twitchy) Amusing Shaquille O'Neal vs. Charles Barkley in epic shirt off competition  (twitchy.com) (30)
(Den Of Geek) Ironic Uwe Boll interview. Oliver Stone is "that farking prick". Mission Impossible 4 is "completely stupid". Complains that "a lot of people just didn't watch my serious movies with an objective eye"  (denofgeek.com) (76)
(SlashGear) Asinine If you can't beat them in the marketplace, beat them at the border. It's the Apple way  (slashgear.com) (18)
(CNN) Cool "You go vertical into the light, and suddenly, instead of gray and dark, it's light and blue. You are totally connected with the elements. You are in another world. I want to live that again"  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (21)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Aaron Sorkin to write film about Steve Jobs. In other news, Apple to trademark the walk and talk  (hollywoodreporter.com) (11)
(Slashdot) Cool Google's new Android strategy: Fark the carriers  (mobile.slashdot.org) (21)
(LoanSafe) Obvious LoanSafe sees the reality in FARK's prediction of future social security benefits (2nd paragraph)  (loansafe.org) (0)
(Some Guy) Sick What do you get when you combine a Sparkling Princess and Royal Horse Barbie set in pink wrapping paper, a digital camera and Viagra? C.) PMITAP  (post-gazette.com) (40)
(The New York Times) Obvious Coyotes force trail closures in Golden Gate Park due to conflicts with pets, shipments of rocket sleds and giant crossbows from Acme Corp  (nytimes.com) (40)
(ESPN) Dumbass Kurt Busch, who lost his ride at Penske following a series of outbursts last season is fined $50,000, placed on probation following his actions at Darlington. Furthermore, his ride has now been replaced with a 1994 Buick Skylark with no AC  (espn.go.com) (39)
(AP) Followup As if being in WalMart isn't trauma enough, NJ man sues WalMart for $1 million after being "traumatized" by a 16-year-old's racist remark  (hosted.ap.org) (84)
(VentureBeat) Interesting Venture Beat uses FARK commentary in their article about the Error 37 Diablo III failure  (venturebeat.com) (0)
(The Soup) Amusing The Soup credits Fark for bringing their attention to the Trololo Guy's latest antics  (thesouptv.com) (4)


Tue May 15, 2012
(TSN) Cool Completing the somewhat rare Fark Hockey Greenlight Trifecta, at 9pm (Eastern) tonight the LA Kings try to go up 2-0 over the Phoenix Coyotes. Will they or will Phoenix even things up going into game 3?  (tsn.ca) (808)
(ESPN) Cool At age 38, Cleveland Indians pitcher Derek Lowe throws his fourth career complete game shutout, currently has a 6-1 record with an ERA of 2.05. Fark: The Atlanta Braves are still paying $10,000,000 of his $15,000,000 salary  (scores.espn.go.com) (33)
(Spinner) Obvious Mark Ronson says Amy Winehouse was "freaked out" by Adele's success, size  (spinner.com) (38)
(BizJournals) Ironic Funny: "The Onion" claims that media savvy professionals working for fracking industry are being hired in droves to mislead the public. Fark: Media savvy professional working for fracking industry responds by misleading the public  (bizjournals.com) (93)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Mississippi legislator gleefully describes returning to the age of coat hanger abortions as a "moral value". FARK: When asked to clarify his statement, he blames the blacks  (maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com) (338)
(Fark) FarkBlog First appearance of the Judean People's Front, high school students succumb to pier pressure, and Oden keeps his alcohol problems loki: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/6 - 5/12  (fark.com) (7)
(Business News Daily) Obvious 1) Get your Fark on at work  (businessnewsdaily.com) (8)
(Rachel Held Evans.com) Interesting News: when asked for one word to primarily describe Christianity, 91% of young non-Christians answer "antihomosexual." Fark: so do 80% of Christians  (rachelheldevans.com) (457)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Fark-ready headline: "Labor board says Boner retaliated against pair" Bonus: Boss says he wouldn't have sexually harassed fired workers because they weren't "young and pretty" enough  (dnj.com) (23)
(Short List) Amusing Fark ready headline: Australian shooter Russell Mark to wear mankini at opening ceremony of London Olympics as bet backfires  (shortlist.com) (16)
(Buzzfeed) Stupid Attention Fark moderators: Please don't green-light this. I beg you  (buzzfeed.com) (51)
(BusinessWeek) Fail Retail sales PROBABLY slowed. Maybe. Perhaps. Fark it, we don't know, we fired the guy who ran those numbers  (businessweek.com) (10)
(Some Guy) Obvious Actual headline: "Vatican mystery intensifies: Bones found in grave." Oh, sure, it may seem obvious to everyone here on Fark, but Dan Brown will be laughing all the way to the bank  (staradvertiser.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Scary Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarking snakes in this motherfarking Walmart  (standard.net) (51)


Mon May 14, 2012
(Yahoo) Sad And I can still hear my old hound dog barkin',.......Chasin' down a hoodoo there.....Chasin' down a hoodoo there.... Dead on the Bayou  (tv.yahoo.com) (43)
(ESPN) Cool It's farking war, baby (8:00 PM eastern, NBC Sports Network)  (scores.espn.go.com) (836)
(National Geographic) Interesting New research indicates an as yet undiscovered planet may be orbiting at the dark fringes of our solar system  (news.nationalgeographic.com) (89)
(Huffington Post) Interesting The Huffington Post tips its hat to Fark for directing their attention to a story about mental health questions. Yes, we cover a lot of those stories here  (huffingtonpost.com) (1)
(Examiner) Stupid Not News: An illegal alien with $14K in income paid no taxes. News: He received a refund of $10K from the IRS. Fark: Nearly three quarters of tax returns filed by illegal aliens received such tax credits. Taxpayer Cost: $Billions  (examiner.com) (281)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The Lincoln Journal Star bestows praise upon not one, but two Fark sports headlines (4th section)  (journalstar.com) (0)
(Oregon Live) Cool OregonLive.com gives credit to Fark for featuring a story about Social Security benefits  (oregonlive.com) (1)
(NJ.com) Obvious Survivor concludes with only hot women in the finals. In other news, Mark Burnett continues to troll America for 24 seasons  (nj.com) (74)
(Blogmaverick) Interesting Mark Cuban calls bullshiat on the college credentialing racket: "I want people who can do the job. I want the best and brightest. Not a piece of paper." Duke is about to suck more than it has ever sucked before  (blogmaverick.com) (115)
(Farker abkaiser) Plug Another Farker wrote a book. Think Raymond Chandler fused with Douglas Adams. Free to read for Amazon Prime subscribers, and very cheap for the rest of the world  (amazon.com) (63)
(Daily Mail) Scary Recipe for disaster: Start digging underground parking lot AFTER you've finished constructing an apartment building and people have moved in (w/photos)  (dailymail.co.uk) (63)


Sun May 13, 2012
(LA Times) Sad Dear Los Angeles Farkers, If you're hiking this weekend in the hills above Burbank, and you come across an armed and suicidal FBI agent, give me a call, I seem to have misplaced mine, thank you -- Janet  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (96)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Sappy After 12 years, fifty-two year old immigrant janitor finally earns his degree from the Ivy League school at which he works. FARK: With the degree he chose, janitor is probably about the only job that he'll be able to get  (ajc.com) (111)
(Entertainment Weekly) Followup Bad news - "Community" moves to the Friday Night Death Slot. Worse news - its lead-in will be "Whitney." This is the darkest timeline  (insidetv.ew.com) (115)
(Some Guy) Plug Farker wrote a zombie book. Free to read for Amazon Prime subscribers  (amazon.com) (164)
(The Daily Beast) Weird Dalai Lama fears being eaten by sharks, lack of total consciousness  (thedailybeast.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Obvious Latest electoral college map puts Obama at 290 and Romney at 161, with 87 toss ups, meaning Obama wins even if Romney wins all toss ups. Fark: This map comes directly from Karl Rove's website  (businessinsider.com) (232)
(Deadline) Followup The Avengers has just crossed the $1 billion mark after earning $103 million this weekend and is, again, #1 at the box office. Dark Shadows was #2 with $28.8 million  (deadline.com) (244)
(Doubtful News) Strange Doubtful News thanks Fark for the story about a very lucky lottery winner (bonus - FARK comments quoted in the story)  (skeptic.com) (1)
(Doubtful News) Strange Doubtful News/The Skeptic give thanks to FARK for a story that just won't die - - - the man who woke up at his own funeral  (skeptic.com) (0)
(not Greg Fiore) Amusing Been a Farkette for a really long time now...Here's the trailer for the video I did with my class of 2nd Graders for our school's fundraiser...Enjoy   (gregfiore.smugmug.com) (41)


Sat May 12, 2012
(The Sun) Amusing Not that it's any interest to Farkers, but there's a girl who pinches sex 'trophies' from each one of her sexual conquests  (thesun.co.uk) (251)
(Duluth News Tribune) Hero Young cancer patient produces video of other young cancer patients singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" - the saddest and the most inspiring thing you'll see today  (duluthnewstribune.com) (91)
(ABC) Obvious Our federal government has commissioned a study to study studies. Conclusion...study studying studies is flawed. Fark needs a "facepalm" tag  (abcnews.go.com) (43)
(NYPost) Amusing Dear Parent, We regret to inform you that there is no room for your child in Battery Park Kindergarten public school. But do not worry, we checked with the $16k a year private school right down the street and they still have spaces open  (nypost.com) (125)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Gizmodo thanks FARK for calling in the story about iPhone-thieving hookers  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(The New York Times) Strange The New York Times summons the power of Fark, asks for the public's help in identifying a naked woman  (6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com) (73)
(Daily Mail) Sappy And a chorus of "awwww" arose from the Farkosphere  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(The Local (Germany)) Sad Man dies after being stabbed with a syringe full of mercury hidden in the tip of an umbrella. Fark: a year ago  (thelocal.de) (99)
(Telegraph) Hero News: Man saves daughter from traffic accident. Ultra News: Jumps from moving car to save her. Fark News: Goes back for her shoes (w/video)  (telegraph.co.uk) (50)
(MLive.com) Unlikely News: Player with at least 4 RBIs in 4 of 5 games, first since Lou Gehrig in 1931. Fark: Brandon Inge  (mlive.com) (27)
(CBC) Scary Not news: woman has collision with møøse. News: continues to drive to work. Fark: pics  (cbc.ca) (37)
(Gizmodo) Scary Mini Documentary on the most terrifying drug in the world - it renders a person incapable of exercising free will. You're going to watch it, then tell me your Fark login. [some Not safe for work language]  (gizmodo.com) (154)


Fri May 11, 2012
(The New York Times) Followup Oh JP Morgan? The SEC would like a word with you over those reckless trades that lost you $2 billion in the last six weeks, two words, actually, and they are "you're farked"  (dealbook.nytimes.com) (207)
(Journal.ie) Obvious The Journal.ie thanks FARK for photo #9 in their slideshow of the worst soccer uniforms  (thejournal.ie) (2)
(io9) Amusing Game of Thrones decapitated Ned Stark dessert pops  (io9.com) (55)
(Gizmodo) Asinine Not news: Elderly couple dies in car crash. News: Couldn't call for help due to bad AT&T coverage. FARK: after NINE dropped calls  (gizmodo.com) (182)
(Fark) Survey That's right, it's Friday. So take off your shoes, put your feet on your desk, and try your hand at this week's Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (40)
(FilmDrunk) Amusing New pics from "The Dark Knight Rises." Someone compares Bane's mask to... well... you know  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (131)
(Some Guy) Fail News: Conspiracy theorist fears cops are following her. Truth: They are. Fark: because they put a GPS tracker on her car and are trying to secretly get it back  (coloradoan.com) (79)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Flight attendant fired for Tweeting world's worst Fark headline  (myfoxdc.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Amusing Seattle Times greenlit a headline worthy of Fark, but some boring editor pulled it. Screencap in link  (jimromenesko.com) (2)
(Mother Jones) Interesting This week in dark money: George Soros cuts some big checks, a super-PAC showdown in the Hoosier state, plus other news from the cold murky world of dark campaign cash  (motherjones.com) (28)
(Washington Post) PSA Redskins introducing 1937 throwback jerseys, with "a rich, darker color palate," a patch from the early years, and a helmet that has "a unique, leather-like finish." and pockets, it appears (pic)  (washingtonpost.com) (70)
(Boing Boing) Interesting An incredibly detailed look at Internet marketing scams, and it won't even cost you $5 a month  (boingboing.net) (60)
(Some Guy) Dumbass News: Two men get their iPhones stolen. FARK: By prostitutes. TotalFark: The men fire a shot through the motel room door. Stockton: Prostitutes return fire, injuring one  (fox40.com) (27)
(Slate) Unlikely "Dark Shadows will remind you why you once liked Johnny Depp"  (slate.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Fail Remember when the drug Vioxx got taken off the market in 2004 for killing roughly 55,000 people? Looks like they may have left off a zero  (theweek.co.uk) (88)
(Major League Baseball) Unlikely Orioles' wacky, unusual season continues as they become first team in AL history to open a game with three straight home runs, beating Texas 6-5. FARK: Orioles team gets only five hits--all home runs  (mlb.mlb.com) (45)
(CNBC) Followup 10 questions for JP Morgan, not including "just who the FARK do you think you are?"  (cnbc.com) (101)


Thu May 10, 2012
(WTKR) Silly Post Office: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". Postal workers: Nudist colony? Go fark yourselves  (wtkr.com) (78)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks Fark for the story about a 'Magic Skull and some slippery fingers'  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Some Crooner) Spiffy After 29 days & 66 games the NHL takes a night off. Fark's hockey brigade will still be hard at it posting on the great intermission & post game entertainment. Come see what shenanigans we've been up to starting 7:30ish Eastern  (earthcam.com) (336)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Network to air political drama about a philandering former President of the United States and his Secretary of State ex-wife. Fark: Network insists the series is fictional  (dailymail.co.uk) (15)
(RamblingBeachCat.com) Cool Jenny the Dry Erase Board Girl (actress Elyse Porterfield) on life after becoming a meme and before her debut on 'Parks and Recreation' tonight  (ramblingbeachcat.com) (57)
(Fox Sports Local) Asinine Robert Griffin III™ trademarks RG3™  (foxsportssouthwest.com) (69)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Sad Roger Ebert on Dark Shadows: "[Burton] approaches it as an amusing trifle, and for a feature-length film, we need more than attitude"  (rogerebert.suntimes.com) (79)
(Daily Mail) Strange Was Christina Aguilera's sparkly hot pants a good look? Well, it depends  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)
(Some Guy) Followup To the untrained ear, Barkley was making a playful jab. But to the expert that is earus teabagus, one hears the truth: Charles Barkley wants to kill the next POTUS and rape his children, because they're white  (godfatherpolitics.com) (103)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 366: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 7". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (139)


Wed May 09, 2012
(Fark) FarkParty Imprompteux Nola Fark Party shaping up for Friday night at Cooter Brown's... DIT  (fark.com) (51)
(The Atlantic) Cool The Atlantic notices how FARK picked up a tall tale about Abraham Lincoln (6 paragraphs from the end)  (theatlantic.com) (0)
(The Sun) Amusing Johnny Depp's long fingernails made it difficult for him to pull out Li'l Barnabas on the set of "Dark Shadows"  (thesun.co.uk) (26)
(SacBee) Weird Fark-ready headline: Fish and Game seizes stuffed, hat-wearing wolverine from Georgetown bar  (blogs.sacbee.com) (48)
(Jalopnik) Strange "The answer is I don't sit around twiddle-farking my life away, playing video games, watching TV or movies, which is what a lot of those guys waste their time doing" - says some guy building his own car  (jalopnik.com) (48)
(io9) Spiffy Cool: Guy hand-forges his own wedding ring. Fark: Out of a meteorite  (io9.com) (169)
(Discover) Cool Good: The crack in Amy Pond's wall is gone. Bad: It's now The Nexus. Fark: It's trillions of miles long  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (68)
(FilmDrunk) Spiffy Filmdrunk was so impressed by Fark's 'Avengers' headline that they featured it in their morning roundup. No... it's down a ways... further... further... well maybe they weren't *that* impressed  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (1)
(CNBC) Obvious Meet the guy who sent global markets reeling after his Greek victory; wait until he cleanses his whole economy  (cnbc.com) (21)
(New York Daily News) Interesting You get the feeling from reading this Mets article that the author is a Fark reader  (nydailynews.com) (12)
(WRCB-TV) Strange The old "Sorry officer, that arrest warrant is for my dead identical twin brother" defense ... turns out to be true. Fark: FBI had to come to good twin's aid  (wrcbtv.com) (105)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times thinks this Fark headline is a real winner. "Redskins officially name RG3 as starting quarterback, ending weeks of non-speculation"   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Tue May 08, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Are you a big fan of the original Dark Shadows series? Then today's your lucky day. You can now get all 1,225 TV episodes in a 131-DVD box set. Bonus: It comes in a coffin  (chicagotribune.com) (120)
(Fark) Spiffy SAVE THE DATE - Amsterdam Fark Party on Sept. 29 - Scheduled to appear: Drew  (fark.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Cool Cool: Mark Reynolds hits his first home run of the year. Cooler: Teammates give him the silent treatment. Fark: Reynolds leaves his coach hanging  (camdenchat.com) (39)
(CBS DC) Interesting Not news: Woman wearing a burka kicked out of Romney campaign event. Farking news: It was actually an Obama event  (washington.cbslocal.com) (180)
(Some Guy) Interesting Not news: man has patent application for Facebook rejected. News: in 1845. Fark: Abe Lincoln  (natestpierre.me) (105)
(io9) Obvious Your made for Fark headline of the day: Once Upon A Time can't swing a dead fairy without hitting more tasty cheese  (io9.com) (51)
(Wired) Fail On this day in 1886, someone looking for a pain reliever instead found the recipe for the most disgusting pop on the market, Coke  (wired.com) (175)
(Gizmodo) Hero Not news: Hottie finishes London Marathon, News: She's paralyzed, Fark: She does it in a bionic suit  (gizmodo.com) (103)
(Pharyngula) Followup Yesterday's news: Dinosaurs killed off by their own farts. Fark: The paper did not say that. Über-Obvious: One would think that no one would be dumb enough to get their science news from Fox News  (freethoughtblogs.com) (180)
(CNN) Fail Disabled National Veterans Foundation took in $55.9 mil in donations & gave $61 mil to marketing companies. Vets got chef's coats & coconut M&Ms  (cnn.com) (127)
(WANE) Sick Not News: man gets DUI. News: with four children. Fark: strapped to the hood of a car  (wane.com) (45)


Mon May 07, 2012
(Daily Mail) Scary I used to go for walks in the park like you, but then I took an arrow in the neck  (dailymail.co.uk) (37)
(Celebslam) Strange Mark Wahlberg accidentally walked outside in his underwear on purpose  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (41)
(Fark) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: A More Sophisticated and Highbrow Fark  (fark.com) (32)
(SeattlePI) Asinine Fark ready headline: "Another testicle ticket written in South Carolina"  (seattlepi.com) (107)
(Canada.com) Obvious Canada.com editor mentions the different and unique perspective of FARK as compared to the vortex of the Kanye West twitter  (blogs.canada.com) (7)
(NBC Sports) Amusing NBC Sports gives credit to Fark for directing their attention to a National Anthem mix-up at the Arab Shooting Championships   (offthebench.nbcsports.com) (1)
(Buzzfeed) Cool Ladies and gentlemen of Fark, I present the pizza cupcake  (buzzfeed.com) (52)
(TSN) Unlikely Get ready to throw out your 'Fark playoff hockey suspension flowchart.' Claude Giroux of the Flyers likely to be suspended today for his hit to the head of New Jersey's Dainius Zubrus  (tsn.ca) (98)
(Discover) Cool Astronomers find a cluster of galaxies 12.7 *billion* light years away. Seriously, that's Farking amazing  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (95)
(CNN) Amusing Political pundit Sir Charles Barkley to Romney: We will beat you like a drum in November. Although you seem like a nice guy and all. No offense. You're going down, bro. Eat like a man. Weight Watchers   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (47)
(Pajiba) Amusing 10 of the biggest Fark Yous in box office history  (pajiba.com) (129)
(Aggrogate) Interesting The Avengers worked, because it didn't just shrug and say "Summer movie, it can be completely farking stupid." Avengers 2 to include Black Vulcan and Apache Chief (warning: spoilers)  (aggrogate.com) (295)
(Daily Express) Dumbass Mother of the year stops in safari park to let giraffe put its head through car window (with bonus pic of her daughter petting it)  (express.co.uk) (167)
(The Newspaper) Interesting Police use sloppy parking as pretext for drug bust, lose case because parking over the line is not a crime in Maryland  (thenewspaper.com) (119)
(The Daily Beast) Amusing Is the new Dark Shadows a Gothic romance, a horror sendup, or a macabre fish-out-of-water tale? Let's ask director Tim Burton: "I made the movie and I can't describe it"  (thedailybeast.com) (65)


Sun May 06, 2012
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Scientists say dinosaurs may have been to blame for climate change. Fark: because they produced so much flatulence  (dailymail.co.uk) (111)
(SaveOnBrew) Spiffy Best baseball parks for craft beer. Lord knows you're not going to watch the snoozeball  (saveonbrew.com) (50)
(Reason Magazine) Obvious This year's Libertarian Party convention? Why yes, it did end up being a complete clusterfark  (reason.com) (284)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column picks FARK's clever Red Sox headline as their best of the week (3rd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Sat May 05, 2012
(The Atlantic Wire) Fail Iran's semi-official Mehrs news agency ends up using a photoshopped image for Iran's missile system. Fark: They used *that* image. Yes, that one  (theatlanticwire.com) (76)
(Boston.com) Fail Red Sox payroll tops the $77 million mark. On the disabled list  (boston.com) (54)
(Daily Star) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: Delighted housewife knits spacesuit for rubber chicken  (dailystar.co.uk) (16)
(WTKR) Sick Five dogs poisoned by antifreeze-coated fish tossed into their backyard. Fark: For the second time. Super sad: Two of them need $10,000 of dialysis to keep them alive and the owner can't afford it  (wtkr.com) (324)
(Slate) Cool Inside the dark, dangerous, challenging world of the collegiate Quiz Bowl championships  (slate.com) (45)
(WDAY) Dumbass Mock crash at high school becomes real when someone forgot to put the fire truck in park  (wday.com) (30)


Fri May 04, 2012
(Gawker) Spiffy Gawker thanks Fark for the story about a hungry lioness and the 'zebra' baby  (gawker.com) (1)
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, get out a sharpened pencil, and get off your hot teacher for a moment--it's time for this week's Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (24)
(Some TFette) Plug TFette is asking the good people of Fark for a little bit of help, for a good cause  (elkhartcancer.org) (364)
(Neatorama) Video Who was the best Obi-Wan? Alec Guiness? Evan McGregor? Then you haven't seen the Redd Foxx interpretation. Bonus: Marie Osmond as Leia and Paul Lynde as Grand Moff Tarkin  (neatorama.com) (56)
(Newser) Followup Mark Zuckerberg has about a billion reasons to love the new Facebook IPO  (newser.com) (19)
(WPTV) Asinine When their co-worker is diagnosed with cancer, a bunch of women band together to raise money for her treatment. Fark: She comes back with a nice boob job and no cancer  (wptv.com) (157)
(YouTube) Video Russians continue to flip over crazy amusement park ride  (youtube.com) (35)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool The trailer for 2012's hottest film, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, is finally here  (insidetv.ew.com) (34)
(Guardian) Stupid Argentina: "To compete on English soil, we train on Argentine soil." Farkland Islands: "This shiat is invading the sports thread now?"  (guardian.co.uk) (25)
(Yahoo) Interesting The mystery of dark-skinned pacific islanders with natural blond hair has been solved genetically, and no, it doesn't have anything to do with a shipful of Vikings getting very lost  (news.yahoo.com) (42)
(SacBee) Hero Not news: girl saves friend using Heimlich Maneuver. Fark: she learned it on TV. Ultra Fark: she's six years old  (sacbee.com) (41)
(Fox News) Obvious Neil Armstrong's Corvette is on eBay. Yeah, even a Corvette gets boring once you've walked on the Farkin' Moon  (foxnews.com) (66)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Your chance to become Lord Farkington of Dangly Nads is now here, complete with village and pub, for only a couple of million bucks  (dailymail.co.uk) (48)


Thu May 03, 2012
(WLFI) Sad Not news - Young boy dies. Fark - Was made an honorary Marine. Ultrafark - Marine Honor Guard stands watch outside his hospital room the night he passes  (wlfi.com) (176)
(610 WIOD) Strange Today's Fark-ready headline: "Cat with Doritos bag on head falls from power pole, lands on feet"  (610wiod.com) (23)
(ESPN) Amusing Red Sox sign Mark Prior in order to fill a need on the disabled list  (espn.go.com) (31)
(Contact Music) Unlikely Samuel L. Jackson is the "quiet" star of The Avengers. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MOTHERFARKER?  (contactmusic.com) (21)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Gizmodo thanks FARK for getting a leg up on the story about a bionic llama  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Nothing will happen dear) Interesting Next up, the oddest and most disturbing baseball sex scandal in years that should finally get Ohio a fark tag  (newsnet5.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Fail Horrifying: 1200 people receive the same jury summons for the same day causing a massive traffic jam. Fark: Courthouse clerk failed to update the system causing the "glitch". Milton Waddams said to be unimpressed  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (55)
(Townhall) Obvious Hey you 99%ers that are railing against the rich Wall Street bastards that make up the evil 1%. You're barking up the wrong tree  (townhall.com) (231)
(Barrons) Obvious Herbalife: "If the market doesn't like our shares, we'll buy our own shares and have hookers and blackjack. You know what, FORGET THE SHARE BUYING"  (blogs.barrons.com) (12)
(YouTube) Plug Farker has new video out showing springtime in Washington  (youtube.com) (15)
(Gizmodo) Amusing A story about parking missiles over your house should make you stroppy but the words "War Blimp" are just too giggle-inducing  (gizmodo.com) (43)
(WRCB-TV) Cool "This is my first experience with an animal, other than taking care of my dog Sparky," Dr. Warren says. "So, I'm branching out a little bit"  (wrcbtv.com) (11)
(WTOV9) Amusing Not News: City puts up Rough Road sign. News: Someone paints "No sh*t Sherlock" on the sign. Fark: Residents respond they find it funny  (wtov9.com) (21)
(Mercury News) Amusing Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK'S clever Chicago Cubs headline as their hit of the week  (mercurynews.com) (0)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 365: "Wow! Nice Wood!" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (179)


Wed May 02, 2012
(Wired) Cool Marine biologist says "there's actually useful applications" for a shark with a frickin' laser beam attached to it  (wired.com) (21)
(Yahoo) Scary Not News: Man goes to pick up his daughter from day care. News: The place is locked up tight. Fark: He has to break in to get inside because the three-year-old was left alone  (news.yahoo.com) (137)
(Some Guy) Interesting A helpful illustrated guide on how to say "Fark you" around the world  (mandatory.com) (67)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Wife of NC state senator sponsoring anti-gay amendment clarifies her previous remark by implying that only Caucasians are gay  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (203)
(Art Info) Cool Art Info picks the Top 5 celebrity stories of the week and wishes to thank FARK for making #5 suddenly appear  (artinfo.com) (0)
(Reuters) Obvious Law banning cannabis for tourists in The Netherlands is under a week old, and already black markets have sprung up, people are now sparking up in public. PROBLEM SOLVED  (reuters.com) (65)
(The Columbian) Cool The Columbian's "Talking Points" column picks FARK's clever headline about Albert Pujols as their top sports buzz of the week (3rd section)  (columbian.com) (0)
(YouTube) Cool Cool: training a border collie to herd sheep. Farkin' amazing: training a border collie to herd mule deer out of Waterton Lakes National Park's townsite  (youtube.com) (33)
(WPTV) Florida A bunch of guys decide to turn off their GPS devices, hide their cars, go home and watch a movie. Fark: They're on-duty deputies and sergeants  (wptv.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Stupid News: Group held hostage in restaurant. Fark: for refusing to pay gratuity  (click2houston.com) (380)
(Antarctica Bar) Cool Reminder: NYC Fark Party tonight: 9pm Antarctica Bar on Hudson. Johnny Walker tasting is full, this is the afterparty (LGT location)  (antarcticabar.com) (144)
(Des Moines Register) Silly Cardboard cutout of Tim Tebow accompanies Iowa high schooler to prom, is expected to make the next Fark party  (desmoinesregister.com) (43)
(WPTV) Florida Not News: An analysis of Florida crashes reveals old people are bad drivers. Fark: And are incapable of turning left  (wptv.com) (102)
(Seattle Times) Cool Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column bumps FARK's headline about Rajon Rondo up to the top as the best of the week (2nd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Tue May 01, 2012
(YouTube) Cool Markers + graph paper + a capella singing = EPIC music video  (youtube.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for the story about a father who tried to sacrifice his 8-year-old son at the cemetery  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(E! Online) Fail Jessica Simpson gives birth to 9lb, 13oz baby. Gives it the best porn name ever: Max Johnson. Fark: It's a girl  (eonline.com) (136)
(Some Guy) Cool I hope you like Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk, because he now has a six picture deal to play the Hulk  (marketsaw.blogspot.ca) (121)
(Embarrassed MENSA guy) Amusing Any MENSA Farkers out there? You'll be please to meet your newest member: a two year old  (timescolonist.com) (168)
(Slate) Scary Soon to be most hated man in America calls for the banning of college football. Fark: He actually makes a valid point  (slate.com) (194)
(Yahoo) Amusing Bryce Harper spends his first MLB day off seeing if he can hit a softball over the Washington Monument using a metal bat during an adult rec slow-pitch game. Fark: Swing and a miss. W/ video  (sports.yahoo.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Video Best. Farking. Rain Delay. EVER  (klkntv.com) (60)
(YouTube) Cool Everybody stop everything: The new Dark Knight Rises trailer has arrived  (youtube.com) (267)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Not news: Geek who never missed a day of school since kindergarten is graduating soon, valedictorian, and wants to study engineering. Fark: She's also captain of the cheerleading team, and yes, there's a photo  (westhawaiitoday.com) (240)


Mon April 30, 2012
(Fark) FarkBlog Instrument thieves who may be prone to violins, a note from the Stop Hitting Yourself Institute, and researchers discover the Kardash-ion: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/22 - 4/28  (fark.com) (11)
(The Sun) Asinine Sucks: You get fined for dropping a cigarette butt in the town center. Fark: You're a non-smoker, the butt wasn't yours and was stuck to your shoe  (thesun.co.uk) (82)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Yeah, right: A video game based on a superhero movie that doesn't suck. Fark: A Facebook video game based on a superhero movie that doesn't suck  (dailymail.co.uk) (43)
(NHL) Amusing Caps at Rangers 7:30 -- Kings at St. Louis 9:00 PM -- Farkers at Drinking... pretty mush all the time. Today's NHL playoff thread  (nhl.com) (664)
(Myrtle Beach Online) Amusing News: Woman assaults boyfriend with a hammer. Fark: Did we mention it was an inflatable hammer?  (myrtlebeachonline.com) (112)
(CBS News Detroit) Spiffy In the greatest example of viral marketing to date, BMW gets sued because its motorcycle seats cause 20 month erections, prepares to sell 10 million bikes next month  (detroit.cbslocal.com) (191)
(Fark) Advice Submitter has been a Fark liter for 10 years. Why should he upgrade?  (fark.com) (398)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Fark's favorite teen bride and food gourmet dons thigh high mini-dress and 6 inch heels for an impromptu trip for kitchen utensils  (dailymail.co.uk) (187)
(thelocal.no) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: 'Horny Jesus hits cop with massive butt'  (thelocal.no) (29)
(Some Guy) Weird Not News: UFO Guru predicts a UFO will appear on Sunday over an LA park. News: Enough people show up to make it a story. Fark: It actually happens  (news.gather.com) (64)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Not news: Clippers go down 27. News: To Memphis. Fark: Both teams actually made the playoffs. HOLY MOTHER OF FARK: Clippers come back to win  (sports.yahoo.com) (120)
(Some Guy) Scary "Here's another fact we found out from the state police: troopers don't have any responsibility to inform a business if a sex offender is living in their parking lot"  (wcyb.com) (28)
(NBC San Diego) Strange Not news: Father brings son to cemetery. Fark: To sacrifice him  (nbcsandiego.com) (65)
(Seattle Times) Unlikely Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column picks FARK's unbelievable headline about the 1st place Orioles as their highlight of the week (4th section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Sun April 29, 2012
(Paste Magazine) Cool Going for a drive? Listen to these 25 songs as you embark on your journey  (pastemagazine.com) (183)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Neil Gaiman talks to Stephen King about why he wrote a sequel to The Shining, whether he'll rewrite The Dark Tower to remove himself, and other authory stuff  (journal.neilgaiman.com) (94)
(ESPN) Unlikely NBA Playoffs, Day 2: Celtics face the Hawks in Atlanta and Memphis hosts the Clippers. Yes, those Clippers. This is for all six NBA fans on Fark  (scores.espn.go.com) (164)
(Some Guy) Stupid News: Frustration with government leads to secession talk. Fark: The Upper Peninsula seceding from Michigan  (miningjournal.net) (146)
(Daily Star) Strange Today's Fark-ready intro: A double killer who had a sex swap and was moved to a women's jail is divorcing the lesbian murderess he wed behind bars  (dailystar.co.uk) (23)
(WTKR) Hero A small number of surviving veterans marked the 68th anniversary of the Anzio beach landing in Italy aboard the USS Mahan. Let's take a minute to salute what they've done before these 90-somethings are all gone  (wtkr.com) (76)
(Fark) Interesting Subbette honestly wants to know who Farkers think the strongest Fictional character is and why. Is Goku stronger than Superman? Is Doctor Who better than the Green Lantern? Discuss  (fark.com) (366)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Dumb: Demanding to get off plane to find your lost wallet. Dumber: Arguing with flight personnel and getting removed from the plane. Fark: Your wallet turns up in Chicago on the plane you were removed from  (940winz.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Sad The US Navy is considered the master of six oceans. But Russia, Canada, and Demark have the upper hand in the seventh  (adn.com) (118)
(Doubtful News) Unlikely Doubtful News thanks FARK for the unusual story about coincidental lottery winners  (skeptic.com) (0)


Sat April 28, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting Turns out that dark matter may be giving us a stealth ass kicking  (msnbc.msn.com) (48)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man busted for parking his truck on the side of the road to sell seafood and regular, strawberry, blackberry and apple-flavored moonshine. Why yes, this did happen in Florida  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (50)
(CNN) Amusing Bob Jones University kicks out student for watching Glee. In other news, enrollment of Farkers at BJU explodes  (ireport.cnn.com) (87)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Boston Herald notes that mobile apps, like the one for FARK, "has an astonishing ability to drive traffic to a website" (5th section)  (bostonherald.com) (2)
(YouTube) Spiffy One accordion might sound lame. But four accordionists playing old Italian tunes sounds amazing -- or so thinks the subby. For your listening pleasure: I quattro fisarmonicisti di Montenerodomo, Abruzzo. Jump to the 6:40 mark for the best tune  (youtube.com) (23)


Fri April 27, 2012
(Science Daily) Interesting New subatomic particle discovered at CERN made up of a combination of quarks that only exist for a fraction of a second before divorcing. Particle tentatively named "The Kardash-ion"  (sciencedaily.com) (69)
(Tech Radar) Cool Tech Radar thanks FARK for the unique ability to watch multiple episodes of Star Trek at once (8th section)  (techradar.com) (0)
(WPTV) Amusing Not News: Guy celebrates with his friends and Tweets out his huge accomplishment. News: ...after getting a call that he's being drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals as a first round pick. Fark: It was a prank call  (wptv.com) (51)
(Fark) Survey Check calendar. Note that it's Friday. Clear desk. Take Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (45)
(io9) Cool Mark your calendars, here are 33 of this summer's most anticipated science fiction and fantasy movies. Warning: minor spoilers ahead  (io9.com) (91)
(The Register) Interesting Fark-ready headline: "Star Trek role-players' privates sniffed by alien invader"  (theregister.co.uk) (27)
(The New York Times) Interesting How Samuel L. Jackson became his own muthafarkin' genre  (nytimes.com) (57)
(WPTV) Florida State department denies restaurant its trademark request because its name is "immoral and deceptive" Well if you don't like it, then Fuku  (wptv.com) (66)
(Fark) FarkParty EuroFark Party, Prague, April 27-28  (fark.com) (64)
(YouTube) Spiffy Guy builds Star Trek phaser. FARK: It actually works  (youtube.com) (124)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Parents sue because their snowflake was kicked out of an honors English class after he was caught cheating. Fark: He had signed an Academy Honesty Pledge which warned that cheating was grounds for immediate removal from the class  (dailymail.co.uk) (200)
(CSMonitor) Cool Sharks are evolving one step closer to their own frickin' built in laser beams  (csmonitor.com) (8)


Thu April 26, 2012
(truTV) Silly What happens when you try to get strangers in Central Park to kiss you? You do get a lot of lip  (trutv.com) (12)
(Nola.com) Stupid Not News: Man runs over mailbox. News: Of 10 different neighbors, on multiple occasions. Fark: "I didn't know it was illegal"  (nola.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Florida Fark's favorite state reverses its demographic decline, proving PT Barnum was right after all  (city-journal.org) (28)
(CSMonitor) Interesting How do Norwegians send an extra-special Fark You to a mass-murdering psychopath? Forty thousand of them marched to Oslo singing the song he claims is an example of Marxist indoctrination  (csmonitor.com) (117)
(Farktography) Farktography The Farktographers made the mistake of letting you pick what they shoot in the upcoming Scavenger Hunt theme. Details in first post. LGT Farktography discussion thread  (farktography.net) (133)
(Huffington Post) Amusing The Huffington Post gives props to Fark.com for a "little nugget that Fark pointed out." We are highly skilled at the art of nugget pointing, yes  (huffingtonpost.com) (7)
(laist.com) Amusing Laist.com applauds the "LOLs from the folks at Fark" over porn film story (3rd paragraph)  (laist.com) (2)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 364: "Off Kilter". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (127)


Wed April 25, 2012
(Daily Mail) Interesting Not news: Americans solicit prostitute while traveling abroad. News: They're government officials and broke her collar bone after refusing to pay the agreed price. Fark: This isn't part of the Secret Service fiasco  (dailymail.co.uk) (107)
(LA Weekly) Followup The original Southern California Darts Association hits the mark with a Federal injunction preventing Dino "Pebbles" Zaffina from using their 30 year old trademark  (blogs.laweekly.com) (144)
(Huffington Post) Amusing News: British boyband involved in chlamydia scare. Fark: Koala chlamydia  (huffingtonpost.com) (33)
(Politico) Fail Obama's lawyer farks up his argument to the Supreme Court against Arizona's immigration law so badly--even Justice Sotomayor isn't buying it  (politico.com) (561)
(The Local (Sweden)) Spiffy Random woman mistakenly invited to dine with government ministers. Fark: she's allowed to stay  (thelocal.se) (22)
(Some Guy?) Interesting News: Man fights with medical insurance over the bill for his hysterectomy. Fark: A Canadian man...wait, what?  (thechronicleherald.ca) (115)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Townhouse used as location for Sarah Jessica Parker's residence in Sex and the City sells to anonymous buyer. Rent to remain stable  (dailymail.co.uk) (15)
(kwtv) Dumbass Woman is outraged over high electric bill and threatens to blow up the power company. Fark: The bill is only $14  (news9.com) (141)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Fark's favorite teen bride Courtney Stodden serves up a couple of winners during her latest attempt at beach volleyball  (dailymail.co.uk) (117)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times sideline chatter likes the Fark headline about The Cubs Kerry Wood  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Tue April 24, 2012
(Contact Music) Interesting Unreleased track featuring Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes will be made available to mark the 10-year anniversary of her death. In related news, Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes died 10 years ago  (contactmusic.com) (53)
(Orlando Predators) Ironic Fark-ready sports headline: "Predators Announce First-Ever Child Abuse Prevention Night"  (orlandopredators.com) (27)
(Daily Mail) Silly The best way to mark the Queen's 60 years on the throne is with. A) A huge party. B) A statue. C) A commemorative can of beans  (dailymail.co.uk) (66)
(Some Neuter) Scary Common: Parking lot dispute settled by a fight. Not common: To the death. Fark: By "squeezing his testicles"  (arbroath.blogspot.com) (82)
(Marketwatch) Amusing MarketWatch is soliciting questions to ask Ben Bernanke. Farkers, start your engines  (marketwatch.com) (21)
(Yahoo) Cool News: Pitcher pitches perfect game. FARK: Strikes out every batter. UltraFARK: Pitcher is a high schooler. MondoFARK: A female high school softball pitcher  (sports.yahoo.com) (82)
(WIVB) Sappy Not News: Man finds a ball on an Alaskan beach. News: With the name of Japanese boy on it. Fark: His wife is Japanese. Ultrafark: They contact the boy who lost everything in the tsunami, and arrange to have the ball sent back. Holyfark: Twice  (wivb.com) (66)
(Norwich Bulletin) Strange Norwich Bulletin (CT) editor writes about a local man arrested twice on the same day for the same crime. "FARK, the site made for these types of stories, picked it up and is helping get this man's story and his photo to the world"  (norwichbulletin.com) (4)


Mon April 23, 2012
(ABC) Cool Nine-year-old boy catches shark. Worst Jaws sequel EVER  (abclocal.go.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Fark-ready headline: Boner rejects sexual harassment allegations  (murfreesboropost.com) (24)
(Fark) FarkBlog Eyeless shrmp, pillowfights in lieu of NFL kickoffs, and earthquake research at the Sybian Building: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/15 - 4/21  (fark.com) (4)
(TMZ) Followup "Prostate surgery... acute urinary retention... heart attack..." "Things that are serious, things that doctors oversee, THINGS THAT APPEAR ON DICK CLARK'S DEATH CERTIFICATE"  (tmz.com) (27)
(ESPN) Amusing Somebody slap me. Arkansas to hire John L. Smith as interim coach  (espn.go.com) (29)
(The Register) Obvious The Register (UK) writes about recent Apple touchscreen lawsuits and suggests that "maybe it's about time to take the advice of FARK founder Drew Curtis' recent TED talk and stop feeding the patent trolls"  (theregister.co.uk) (7)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Doubtful news credits Fark for the story about a woman can supposedly speak to horses  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(Some Guy) Interesting Many of the Native American names in the game were "excruciating," Hutchinson remembered. "Some of them had so many vowels we said 'fark it, give us another one'"  (penny-arcade.com) (33)
(WDTN.com) Stupid Bad: leading cops on a chase. Worse: clinging to side of getaway van during chase. Even worse: getting bit in the ass by a police dog. Fark: having all caught on camera  (wdtn.com) (27)
(Some Regular Citizen) Asinine Is it okay to fly down the Garden State Parkway to Atlantic City doing 100 mph in your exotic car? Apparently it is if you have a state police escort  (nbcnewyork.com) (56)
(YouTube) Cool Felicia Day gives props to Fark and Carrie Fisher. Sorta  (youtube.com) (47)
(Mental Floss) Interesting 17 elaborately staged theme park ride photos  (mentalfloss.com) (17)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo thanks Fark for the story about the terrible police composites  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Doubtful News) Cool Doubtful News thanks FARK for the tip about a telepathic horse whisperer  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(WPTV) Florida Not News: Guy arrested at McDonald's. News: He was charged with a felony and faces five years in prison. Fark: He was arrested because he asked for a cup of water, but put soda in it instead  (wptv.com) (264)
(The Local - France) Strange Not News: Girl sent home from school for wearing "provocative" clothing. Fark: Her skirt was too long  (thelocal.fr) (84)
(ABC) Obvious Old GOP meme: Rising gas prices are Obama's fault. New GOP meme: Falling gas prices are free markets in action  (abcnews.go.com) (152)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Bad: Getting arrested for stealing scrap metal. Worse: Getting arrested for stealing scrap metal twice in one day. Fark: Posing for this picture after getting arrested  (norwichbulletin.com) (36)


Sun April 22, 2012
(Next Web) Interesting The Next Web mentions FARK in its article on using a CSGT for a more efficient method of real time tracking of hot topics (6th paragraph)  (thenextweb.com) (1)
(YouTube) Cool Woe to you of Earth and sea, for Fark sends Iron Maiden's 1983 World Piece show in its entirety, because he knows the time is short  (youtube.com) (25)
(YouTube) Cool Sorry Dark Knight Rises, you cannot match this much win  (youtube.com) (60)
(SaveOnBrew) Interesting The only way to get through nine painful innings is to soothe the way with sweet sweet beer. Beer prices at every MLB park  (saveonbrew.com) (59)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Armored catfish plaguing homeowners in Fark's favorite state  (sun-sentinel.com) (64)
(NASCAR) Interesting Will Kasey Kahne turn his season around? Will Mark Martin tell everybody to get off his racetrack? Will the race be boring? Its the STP 400 from Kansas, 12:30PM ET on Fox  (nascar.com) (334)
(Deadline) Followup The Hunger Games finally gets knocked off its perch to #3, with Think Like a Man taking the top spot and Nicholas Spark's twelfth rewrite of The Notebook taking #2  (deadline.com) (87)
(Boston.com) Fail Town that spent $1 million last year to switch to multispace parking meters will spend $100,000 this year to switch back to traditional meters  (boston.com) (107)
(The Sun) Strange 35-year-old Milf cries tears of diamonds. The Sun is there, making her eyes all sparkly (w/pic)  (thesun.co.uk) (167)


Sat April 21, 2012
(Times Herald Record (NY)) Obvious Never give Darwin a second swing: man clips several parked cars, flees, and a few minutes later says hello to Mr. Tractor Trailer  (recordonline.com) (32)
(Deadspin) Cool Oregon father and son build 1/3-scale Fenway Park replica on their farm. Shoeless Joe Jackson approves  (deadspin.com) (29)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy What secret is Princess Cadance and Shining Armor hiding from Twilight Sparkle? Did Pinkie Pie plan the wedding reception? Will Derpy bring muffins? It's the Royal Wedding season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, 1 pm on The Hub  (nydailynews.com) (154)
(Some Guy) Interesting Not News: UFO video over France is enhanced. Still don't know what the Fark it is. News: France is starting to look like Milwaukee  (news.gather.com) (121)
(Doubtful News) Obvious Doubtful News makes no bones about thanking FARK for the story about a fake skeleton  (skeptic.com) (0)
(Fark) FarkParty Twin Cities Fark Party TONIGHT April 21st, Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge. Now with 17% more out-of-towner  (fark.com) (611)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Bad: You're stabbed badly enough to that the ambulance can't reach you in time. Good: The police rush you to the hospital on their car. Fark: Yes, I said ON their car  (tolland.patch.com) (72)
(Reuters) Interesting Money market fund assets now top $2.584 trillion. Or, in government terms ... two wars and three industry bailouts  (reuters.com) (16)
(Fox News) Interesting Self-driving Cadillacs may be coming by the middle of the decade. Unfortunately, they will only want to drive themselves to the Old Country Buffet and through the middle of crowded farmer's markets  (foxnews.com) (37)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing In further proof that God hates the Red Sox, Bronx Bombers bombard Boston with 5 home runs on Fenway Park's 100th birthday  (mlb.mlb.com) (230)
(Starpulse) Stupid If this is the first thing the aliens see when they land here, we're farking doomed  (starpulse.com) (47)
(WRAL) Fail The GOP continues to focus on jobs. Fark who am I kidding, we are about to pass an amendment to ban gay marriage, because the current law banning it just wasn't banny enough  (wral.com) (169)
(Daily Mail) Cool Coolest photos you'll see of a one-off, porcelein-bodied Bugatti supercar parked casually on a Paris street you'll ever see. Try not to drool. Or wish for a hammer  (dailymail.co.uk) (80)
(The Sun) Spiffy 31-year-old hottie: "Tourettes turned me into a mother farking superhero" (w/pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (167)


Fri April 20, 2012
(Some Smart Ass) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Everything I learned about Photoshopping, I learned on Fark  (c710720.r20.cf2.rackcdn.com) (56)
(CNN) Sad South African bodyboarder killed by great white shark remembered as well-mannered boy and great chum  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (77)
(Death and Taxes) Obvious Videos of squirrels with gigantic testicles dot fark dot com  (deathandtaxesmag.com) (3)
(Guardian) Obvious The Guardian notices the use of social internet memes and cites FARK for its "sometimes-tasteless humour" (5th paragraph) (Warning: graphic image in link)  (guardian.co.uk) (22)
(Fark) Survey Put down your bong for a minute, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz, the only test in the world that you'll probably do a little better at if you're baked  (fark.com) (58)
(Showbiz Spy) Amusing Mark Ruffalo can't smash much with his not-so-incredible hulk: "I'm not well-endowed, and those suits don't really show you off. The first day I was a miserable bastard"  (showbizspy.com) (41)
(ESPN) Obvious Bud Selig says that the A's and Rays need new ballparks. Preferably far away from any troublesome bridges  (espn.go.com) (104)
(YouTube) Silly Farker looks like a total wuss while trying to get a bag off a stuck squirrel's head  (youtube.com) (64)
(WPTV) Cool Two guys have invented an affordable way for anyone to lucid dream with ease -- and look snazzy in the process. Subby is actually farking from his sleep  (wptv.com) (130)
(Yahoo) Asinine The answer to this question headline isn't merely "no", but "you've got to be farking kidding me"  (news.yahoo.com) (143)
(Daily Mail) Cool Fark ready headline of the day (and future motion picture): "Friends 'broke into zoo, stripped to their underwear to swim with dolphins before stealing a penguin' on drunken night out"  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)
(Some Guy) Obvious HTC to announce that since October, its Android phones have been shipping with ad-blockers turned on by default, making ad-impression measurements of market share meaningless. Yeah, that's the ticket  (electronista.com) (28)
(NYPost) Spiffy Jeter's place in Manhattan is on the market, and would you just look at that gaudy ridic-- wait, okay, that's actually sort of tasteful. And you get a tabletop Pac-Man game for your $18M  (nypost.com) (41)
(USA Today) Spiffy Fenway Park turns 100 today. Suck it, Yankees  (usatoday.com) (422)
(Deadspin) Fail Not news: Another fan runs out on the field during MLB game. News: He's caught and gets ejected from the stadium by security. FARK: He's four years old  (deadspin.com) (22)


Thu April 19, 2012
(USA Today) Hero Girl born with no hands: A) wallows in self-pity. B) hates the song B-I-N-G-O. Fark) Wins National penmanship contest  (content.usatoday.com) (130)
(Slacktory) Followup Twitter comments on Dick Clark's passing yesterday. Yes, Fark's headline made the list  (slacktory.com) (30)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup George Zimmerman wants a private meeting with the parents of Trayvon Martin. Preferably in a dark alley on a cool, rainy day  (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (551)
(Slashdot) Plug "How Fark Beat A Patent Troll" gets slashdotted  (yro.slashdot.org) (3)
(Yahoo) Fail Hindu God Ganesh, minus two of his arms, mysteriously turns up in museum parking lot after owner pays some guy to dispose of it. The Simpsons did not do this one yet  (ca.news.yahoo.com) (43)
(Deadspin) Followup Miami Marlins fancy new ballpark now features interesting foods, great field views, fans disguised as empty seats  (deadspin.com) (116)
(Talking Points Memo) Cool President Obama sits on the bus where Rosa Parks refu-OMG, IS HE GOING BALD?   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (145)
(Some Guy) Interesting The problem with the whole dark matter hypothesis is that we can't seem to find any at all in our neighborhood  (phys.org) (74)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives Fark a tip of the hat for its 'Sex Robot' story  (huffingtonpost.com) (2)
(Boston.com) Cool After initially turning down his invite to be part of the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park ceremony, Terry Francona sees the fans reaction to Bobby Valentine, reconsiders and decides to attend. Maximum Trolling  (boston.com) (43)
(Des Moines Register) Obvious Today's Fark headline: "Rapists living next to Iowa grannies?"   (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Scary Neither rain nor snow, heat nor darkness can prevent the mail from being delivered, unless the post office is infested with poisonous spiders, in which case you'll have to come pick it up  (1035superx.com) (75)
(SeattlePI) Interesting I'll see your Gulf shrimp with no eyes and raise you a shrimp that has no eyes AND lives its entire life in complete darkness at the bottom of the deepest caverns in New Mexico  (seattlepi.com) (10)
(Some Guy) Interesting Remember when you were a kid playing video games, and you figured you were so good that NASA should recruit you? Then you grew up, discovered beer and forgot about it. Fark: NASA just called  (trebuchet-magazine.com) (25)
(Huffington Post) Followup Dick Clark's greatest moments from Pyramid  (huffingtonpost.com) (29)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Investigation finds that foreclosure workers are forced to work towards meeting quotas, which likely explains the almost-daily Fark "I got evicted but paid off my house five years ago" headlines   (economywatch.msnbc.msn.com) (15)
(CNBC) Spiffy MGM expected to weather repeat, has never seen Fark on the weekends  (cnbc.com) (1)
(Doubtful News) Weird Doubtful News strangely thanks FARK for the story of woman possessed  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Winnipeg Free Press) Cool Winnipeg Free Press tells of the Canadian writer who got a boost in readership and page views per day after his 'awesome' story was picked up by FARK (12th section)  (winnipegfreepress.com) (0)
(Some Guy) Sad Jonathan Frid, better known as Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows, is dead at 87. C'mon, the new movie can't be that bad  (kathrynleighscott.com) (47)
(My Fox DC) Asinine We need a nice looking, friendly, not too dark black guy to play the role - oh, and, by uh, 'not too dark' we mean an African-American who is more comfortable with comedic roles rather than dramatic rol...okay we messed up  (myfoxdc.com) (89)
(Scientific American) Interesting The market value of a Ph.D. in chemistry is now limited to asking 'Would you like fries with that?" On the positive side, chemistry students are bumping the hell out of English majors in the paper-hat careers   (blogs.scientificamerican.com) (100)
(Reason Magazine) Asinine Bad: two cops beat the crap out of a kid for fun. HERO: Officer Regina Tasca intervenes and stops the beating. Fark/obvious: Police department rules Regina Tasca "psychologically unfit" to be a police officer  (reason.com) (242)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 363: "Sun in Frame". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (175)


Wed April 18, 2012
(MSNBC) Interesting Mysterious cosmic rays leave scientists in the dark, superpowered  (msnbc.msn.com) (20)
(Boston Herald) Spiffy Sen. Scott Brown fully embraces the Dark Side by taking donations from Yankees president Randy Levine, hopes to learn how to force choke his opponent before November  (bostonherald.com) (43)
(Mirror.co.uk) Amusing Fark-ready headline: "I think he is a victim of small-penis syndrome"  (mirror.co.uk) (31)
(Some Guy) Hero Not news: Son pays off father's $10,000 medical bill. News: He's six. Fark: The money was proceeds from his lemonade stand  (mega949.com) (123)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Us: Yippie ki-yay, motherfarkers  (finance.yahoo.com) (7)
(Short List) Amusing DogTV gets the greenlight. I'll get the ball rolling with Barks And Recreation  (shortlist.com) (95)
(Huffington Post) Weird Huffington Post gives FARK a hat tip about a man accused of stealing the ashes of a woman's dead sister and threatening to "snort them"  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)
(Boing Boing) Spiffy Boing Boing gives a shout out to FARK's Drew Curtis for his inspiring TED patent troll talk  (boingboing.net) (1)
(The Register) Fail The only reason Mark Zuckerberg spent $1 billion on Instagram is because they wanted $2 billion and $1 billion seemed like such a deal  (theregister.co.uk) (182)
(Telegraph) Interesting Fark ready headline "Rugby player says he is happier since stroke 'turned him gay"  (telegraph.co.uk) (167)
(Huffington Post) Amusing From the "crap you didn't think could get any more amusing" files: Joe Biden's bad lip reading. It's a big farking deal  (huffingtonpost.com) (48)


Tue April 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Cool HispanicBusiness.com thinks a headline at Los Fark es Muy gracioso  (hispanicbusiness.com) (0)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post's guest contributor is FARK's Drew Curtis, who gives highlights of his TED patent troll talk  (huffingtonpost.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Fark-ready Headline: Barking man cited for noise violation Bonus: "Some people call me the holy lamb of God"  (onlineathens.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Cool This is an obituary worthy of FARK. "He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died," Cause of death? "stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades"  (hlntv.com) (112)
(Sun Sentinel) PSA It's Tax Day, Farkers; have you gotten your refund (or bill) yet? Or are you filing for an extension in hopes to avoid huge tax penalties? One thing's certain, though; you'll want to avoid the Post Office  (sun-sentinel.com) (243)
(Some Guy) Cool Wasteland 2 kickstarter makes it past the $3 million mark, canteens for all you desert dwellers  (kickstarter.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Weird WTFark is this "mothership" UFO reappearing at night over St. Petersburg, Russia? If it's a hoax, it's the best one ever. Oh, those Russians. Once again their legendary sense of humor blows up the world. Wait  (news.gather.com) (75)
(truTV) Video Hell hath no fury like a woman in the Clark County, NV Detention Center who's 36 and doesn't have time for other people's problems and issues anymore scorned (NSFW language)  (trutv.com) (41)
(CNBC) Interesting 10 facts about Social Security. Did you know the Fark filter automatically masks Social Security numbers with ***-**-****. It's amazing, try it. Here's Subby's: ***-**-****  (cnbc.com) (174)
(Guitar World) Fail In a market saturated by cheap Chinese instruments, Guitar World magazine lowers the bar even further by teaching guitarists how to make their own guitar for $25 from a cigar box and stick  (guitarworld.com) (191)


Mon April 16, 2012
(Fark) FarkBlog North American predator loss leaves Aliens unchecked, Santorum pulls out, and Best Buy CEO bones something other than his company: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/8 - 4/14  (fark.com) (8)
(The Columbian) Spiffy The Columbian's "Talking Points" column picks FARK's clever headline about the St. Louis Cardinals World Series ring as their top sports buzz of the week (1st section)  (columbian.com) (0)
(Discover) Interesting Two gorgeous spiral galaxies have dark secrets in their hearts  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (5)
(business insider) Interesting After 30 years, Harrison Ford to sell his Brentwood mansion Promptly breaks the bad news to friends, neighbors, long time gardener and handyman, Mark Hamill  (businessinsider.com) (91)
(Some Carwash) Cool Not news: Times are tough and budgets are tight. News: Group planning car wash and bake sale to raise money. Fark: For the NASA planetary exploration budget  (boulder.swri.edu) (12)
(Gizmodo) Obvious Gizmodo cites FARK as the original source for the story about Google's information gathering  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column picks FARK's hard hitting headline about kickoff returns as the best of the week (3rd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)
(Daily Mail) Sick Today's HOT teacher that 'had sex with a student while her daughter slept in the same bed' comes to you from White Hall, Arkansas  (dailymail.co.uk) (110)


Sun April 15, 2012
(Daily Record (UK)) Stupid Bad: Man leaves for two weeks and comes back to find his car missing. Worse: Because of a DVLA loophole it was taken and scrapped. Fark: He's a barber named George Harrison  (dailyrecord.co.uk) (72)
(Some Weaver) Asinine Not News: DUI Checkpoint. Holy FARK: The use of specialized flashlights with ethanol sensors to detect the presence of alcohol on a driver's breath  (centredaily.com) (738)
(ESPN) Cool Can the Orioles extend their stay atop the AL East? How long before the Indians' bats go back to sleep? The Cubs...what's their deal? It's Sunday Afternoon Baseball on Fark (games begin at 1:07 PM ET)  (scores.espn.go.com) (185)
(NHL) Cool The Fark hockey community is too hungover to be cheeky today after Oprah gave everyone bonus hockey, so here's today's lineup: NSH@DET, noon; PITT@PHI, 3:30; NJ@FLA, 7:30; VAN@LA, 10:30. All times eastern  (nhl.com) (3355)
(Daily Mail) Followup Fark-ready headline: Ex-stripper now suing one-legged property magnate for $10m after he slashed her with gold Rolex  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)


Sat April 14, 2012
(LA Times) Obvious Movie analyst urges studios to join real world, stop charging same ticket price for every movie, whether it's sparkly vampire crapfest, brainless action crapfest, or sensitive Oscar-bait crapfest  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (95)
(Dayton Daily News) Spiffy Upping the ante in a bid to get its own Fark tag, it is now easier than ever to legally get your hands on moonshine in Ohio  (daytondailynews.com) (70)
(Fark) Amusing Tampa Fark party at Tiny Tap on May 5, because, why not? Anyone in?  (fark.com) (16)
(NASCAR) Obvious Will Hendrick Motorsports claim its 200th victory tonight? Will Farkers lose their collective shiat if the driver who does it is Jimmie Johnson? Find out tonight during the Samsung Mobile 500. Coverage on Fox begins at 7 PM EDT  (nascar.com) (568)
(Some Guy) Strange Cool: Teacher prevents kid from getting beat up. Fark: Kid tries to hug the teacher and gets written up for it. UltraFark: Teacher grabbed student so roughly to avoid getting hugged that a police report was filed for the marks she left on him  (charlotte.cbslocal.com) (162)
(Some Granny) Sad 73 yr old grandma who supplied 40% of the marijuana to Tulsa and parts of Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri arrested with 4 lbs of pot, 2 guns and $276,000 in cash  (thedaily.com) (149)
(Some Guy) Obvious When a Craigslist posting starts with "If you're a dude with a red Mohawk who recently got lucky at a Motörhead/Megadeth concert in the bathroom at the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago..." you know it's going to end up on Fark  (technolog.msnbc.msn.com) (139)


Fri April 13, 2012
(Yahoo) Misc Rise of Atheism in America: Why many are leaving religion, commenting about it on Fark  (news.yahoo.com) (655)
(Some Guy) Hero If you're the 7- or 8-year-old boy who spotted the abandoned penguin egg at the Woodland Park Zoo, then zoo officials as well as the penguin who hatched would like a word  (today.seattletimes.com) (35)
(Fark) Survey It's Friday the 13th, so here is a Fark Weird News Quiz ending in 13. COINCIDENCE?? Actually, yes  (fark.com) (44)
(Huffington Post) Cool Huffington Post gives FARK a 'Hat tip' about a Vampire story  (huffingtonpost.com) (1)
(CNN) Spiffy Sharks beat Blues. This is not a repeat from last night  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (18)
(CSMonitor) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: "Intelligent space dinosaurs: How worried should we be?"  (csmonitor.com) (125)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Is your shame cave dark and dingy place? Well, lighten it up  (dailymail.co.uk) (158)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Muslims and Methodists back UK college's plans for alcohol-free zones on campus because drinking is "evil". Farkers retort with proposal for free-alcohol zones on campus because drinking is "essential"  (telegraph.co.uk) (127)
(My Fox NY) Hero Newark Mayor downgrades neighbor's condition from "burn victim" to "alive and still in Newark"  (myfoxny.com) (123)
(Some Guy) Amusing News: Man attempts to rob multiple banks. Fark: Doesn't succeed at robbing any of them. Ultra Fark: Because he was using a toilet plunger  (wktv.com) (52)


Thu April 12, 2012
(Boing Boing) Spiffy Boing Boing thanks FARK for the very safe story of wildlife crossing a highway  (boingboing.net) (2)
(MLive.com) Amusing Adding to the things Detroit can be proud of, they have just been named the biggest Nickelback market in the world  (mlive.com) (41)
(NHL) Cool Following last night's preliminary skirmishes, tonight it devolves into open warfare. Sens/Rags @ 7:00, Caps/Bruins @ 7:30, Sharks/Blues @ 7:30, and Blackhawks/Coyotes @ 10:30 (EDT). Day 2 Stanley Cup Playoff Discussion Thread  (nhl.com) (1612)
(Yahoo) Fail Apparently supermarkets haven't thought their cunning plan to save money by firing cashiers and replacing them with self-scanning stations all the way through  (news.yahoo.com) (171)
(The Daily Dolt) Strange Good news: economy is improving so you can find a job and stop farking around all day. Bad news: Grandma's gonna die. Draw?  (thedailydolt.com) (38)
(Deadspin) Spiffy If you guessed two weeks before MLB has its first inside-the-park home run this season, take a congratulatory lap around the bases  (deadspin.com) (50)
(CBS News) Ironic News: Politician declares Fox news biased and in the tank for the Republican establishment and Mitt Romney. Fark: That politician is Newt Gingrich  (cbsnews.com) (73)
(Yahoo) Dumbass President Obama's second-term agenda is the missing piece in his re-election plan. We could start with.. Where are the Farking Jobs?  (news.yahoo.com) (273)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 362: "Watercraft" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest  (farktography.net) (155)


Wed April 11, 2012
(Portland Mercury) Spiffy Portland Mercury mentions the appealing and witty elements of FARK comments (1st paragraph)   (blogtown.portlandmercury.com) (6)
(YouTube) Interesting Not News: Average guy goes to the mall. News: Pretends to be a nonexistent celebrity. Fark.com: It works  (youtube.com) (67)
(Metro) Obvious Looks like Farc may be Farked  (metro.co.uk) (25)
(Big 1059) Followup Teacher loses battle to display "In God We Trust" and "God Bless America" signs in classroom after SCOTUS refuses to hear case. FARK: They've been hanging there since 1982  (big1059.com) (534)
(Time) Cool Canada's new quarter has a dinosaur with glow-in-the-dark bones  (moneyland.time.com) (45)
(RealClearPolitics) Unlikely Obama "We tried free markets. It didn't work." Now we are going to try something else  (realclearpolitics.com) (291)
(Jalopnik) Cool Yes. FARK YES  (jalopnik.com) (60)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting If Pawn Stars hasn't jumped the shark yet, it's getting mighty close to the ramp  (insidetv.ew.com) (242)


Tue April 10, 2012
(NYPost) Hero Cool: 102-year-old Bronx man is still parking cars for a living. Hero: And has a girlfriend less than half his age  (nypost.com) (19)
(HitFix) Spiffy Candidate for the most Grandma friendly story submitted to Fark: Tom Hanks will play Walt Disney in new film about the creation of Mary Poppins  (hitfix.com) (42)
(Yahoo) Fail Arkansas ends its inappropriate relationship with Bobby Petrino  (sports.yahoo.com) (160)
(Buzzfeed) Spiffy Have a seat right over there, and listen to this 8 year old knock Someone Like You out of the park  (buzzfeed.com) (54)
(Bleacher Report) Interesting Will Vince shove poor Tony Atlas in the Saba Simba gimmick? Who will go messin' with that country boy, Hillbilly Jim? Can Dusty Rhodes' splotch beat Pat Patterson's skidmark? It's WWE Smackdown: Blast From The Past, 8 PM on SyFy  (bleacherreport.com) (1469)
(Some Guy) Fail Man sentenced to 7.5 years for making Wild West theme park more genuine  (rapidcityjournal.com) (61)
(CBS News) Followup CBS News mentions FARK as one of the sites which made a little known restaurant reviewer famous. (2nd paragraph)  (cbsnews.com) (0)
(Delaware County (PA) Times) Cool Rush Limbaugh more powerful than ever -- totally doesn't need a 50,000-watt affiliate in the nation's fourth-largest media market anymore. My friends, we're on in Whitefish, Montana  (delcotimes.com) (110)
(Yahoo) Unlikely The 2012 New York Rangers would be just as good as the 1994 Stanley Cup winning Rangers, if only they had Mark Messier, Brian Leetch, Sergei Zubov and Adam Graves  (sports.yahoo.com) (99)
(USA Today) Obvious Fran Tarkenton tries to remain relevant and in the news  (content.usatoday.com) (54)
(USA Today) Stupid "What's wrong with scoring in the offseason?" Arkansas fans hold rally for Petrino  (usatoday.com) (39)
(ESPN) Followup Miami Marlins fail to realize that the cold war ended decades ago. Suspend Ozzie Guillen for pro-Castro remarks. Guess the Marlins support the brutal military dictatorship of Batista and old system of racial serfdom instead  (espn.go.com) (271)
(Spinner) Followup Courtney Love has been trolling Gothamist readers for weeks, not only in writing columns but in the comments section as well, using an alias. No word what her Fark handle is  (spinner.com) (75)
(BBC) Cool Good news for Charm City farkers; beer is being brewed in Baltimore again. I mean, you're still stuck living in Baltimore, but at least you can get freshly brewed beer  (bbc.com) (20)
(Discover) Silly Quiet Lisa, the dog is barking  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (16)
(Pravda) Obvious Facebook is deception. Fark is revelation  (english.pravda.ru) (20)
(The Raw Story) Dumbass Anyone can troll a website, but trolling an entire city park takes talent. Bonus: cops used as admins  (rawstory.com) (194)
(Road Biker Review) Obvious Road Biker Review comes to the realization that "pretty soon Arizona is going to need its own FARK tag"  (forums.roadbikereview.com) (0)
(E! Online) Followup Fark's favorite poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut leaves rehab after failed suicide attempt, career attempt  (eonline.com) (57)
(Yahoo) Sad Mark Lenzi lands his last dive  (sports.yahoo.com) (14)
(Telegraph) Asinine There is no finer mark of a Pakistani man than a fully oiled, waxed and twirled moustache  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (50)


Mon April 09, 2012
(Fark) FarkBlog A few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/1 - 4/7  (fark.com) (15)
(The Soup) Cool The Soup gives credit to Fark for drawing their attention to a redneck Jedi jousting video. You're welcome, Joel McHale  (thesouptv.com) (3)
(Daily Mail) Obvious 30% of all web traffic is porn. The other 70% is cats and Fark  (dailymail.co.uk) (190)
(Stuff.co.nz) Dumbass Pro-tip: Before assaulting someone check to see they don't have a video camera attached to their head. Also, for Fark's sake don't dress like that, ever  (stuff.co.nz) (107)
(Daily Mail) Fail Jennifer Love Hewitt: 'It's sexier not to show everything'. Millions of Farkers obviously not consulted  (dailymail.co.uk) (180)
(Some Guy) Interesting Men eating berries may lower Parkinson's risk. No word on the health benefits of twigs  (medicalnewstoday.com) (37)
(Some Guy) Obvious The Dark Knight Rises gets obvious MPAA rating. Never rub another man's rhubarb (pic in link is NSFW)  (joblo.com) (165)
(LA Times Photos) Photoshop Photoshop this suspended shark   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (22)
(SacBee) Spiffy Sacramento Bee gives Fark a nod for its nifty headline about 'BountyGate' (Midway down)  (sacbee.com) (0)


Sun April 08, 2012
(Des Moines Register) Fail Challenge: use the term "beef flap" in a headline without it appearing on Fark  (desmoinesregister.com) (83)
(KATU) Stupid Hot chick quits Facebook because "peer pressure". *hands out jars* Come Farkers, let us collect her tears and savor their sweet, savory salty taste  (katu.com) (243)
(PennLive) Followup Farker's daughter found after missing for 4 days. She's safe and back home after several days of partying. Subby thanks those who kept a look out for her and shared her info  (pennlive.com) (579)
(Fox News) Obvious Who's to blame for a 2010 government "conference" in Las Vegas that was basically a taxpayer-funded fark party? Who do you think  (foxnews.com) (154)
(Weheartit) Spiffy Weheartit.com is absorbed with FARK's headline about using SpongeBob techniques to avert a child drowning  (weheartit.com) (8)
(some worried dad) Sad Farker's daughter did not come home several nights ago. He is hoping that Farkers will have a heart and contact the police if they've seen her (thread updated 04/07/12)  (abc27.com) (lots)
(Business Insider) Interesting 40 years after Japanese cars took over the American market, Japan itself is still behind a nearly impenetrable trade barrier  (businessinsider.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: resident discovers a peeping tom and calls police. News: officers arrive and apprehend suspect. Fark: peeping tom is a deer  (news-sentinel.com) (19)
(Imgur) Cool NHL Playoffs 2012. All brackets have been set. Sharks in 6. Book it. Done  (i.imgur.com) (153)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Ironic It's the perfect home buyer's market because prices have fallen to record lows. Too bad the same economy that's lowering prices means no one can afford a home  (suntimes.com) (70)
(BBC) Obvious Gurbanguli Berdymukhamedov wins Turkmenistan's inaugural motor race. By a remarkable coincidence he also happens to be Turkmenistan's dictator  (bbc.co.uk) (26)
(Telegraph) Sad Binky-hating 114-year-old pediatrician Dr. Leila Denmark has died: "When she began to practise, an appointment to see her cost $4. By the time she retired aged 103, she had more than doubled her fees - to $10"  (telegraph.co.uk) (100)
(Seattle Times) Cool Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column picks FARK's witty headline about the Red Wings as one of the highlights of the week (3rd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Sat April 07, 2012
(HitFix) Interesting Hunger Games closes in on the $300 million mark - chances of a Hungry, Hungry Hippos adaptation called 'The Original Hunger Games' getting higher every day  (hitfix.com) (66)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for unearthing the story about an ancient burial site  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(National Geographic) Unlikely The world's top ten food markets. Toronto takes top honours for its outstanding emporium of back-bacon and poutine   (travel.nationalgeographic.com) (71)
(Huffington Post) Scary Christian groups are trying to reverse anti-bullying legislation as long as the bullying stems from "a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction." Fark: They're succeeding  (huffingtonpost.com) (289)
(Find websites Worth) Interesting You ever wonder what Fark is worth? $19,690,220.06 will buy a lot of beer  (findwebsitesworth.com) (68)
(The Eagle Tribune) Amusing Driver of stolen Porsche does donuts in police department parking lot. Steve/Jimmy later takes off for Costa Rica, leaving Fiona behind  (eagletribune.com) (33)
(NHL) Cool Last 15 regular season games starting today @ 1:00est. Can Buffalo take down Boston to make the playoffs? Will the Sharks get bumped off the bubble? Of course not, all seeds are in. Rangers lead the East, Vancouver dove to second in the West  (nhl.com) (377)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Denmark named happiest country as most men start off the morning by nibbling on a Danish  (telegraph.co.uk) (33)
(Yahoo) Cool Awesome: Kid takes a hit taking a penalty shot in lacrosse that would have sent an NFL halfback to the DL. Awesomer: He gets up. Farktastic: He fist-bumps the kid that laid him out  (sports.yahoo.com) (55)


Fri April 06, 2012
(Gawker) Amusing Hidden Valley Foods begins marketing campaign to get Americans to slather ranch dressing upon absolutely everything they eat. Yes, that thing. That one too. Can't forget those things, either  (gawker.com) (122)
(ESPN) Strange 2 Sharks players get Gordie Howe hat tricks in same game, and one of them also plays defense from the bench  (espn.go.com) (64)
(Fark) Survey After a Vegas bender last week, the Fark Weird News Quiz is back. Still not sober or respectable, though  (fark.com) (32)
(Mental Floss) Interesting Glow in the dark soldiers in my Civil War? It's more likely than you'd think  (mentalfloss.com) (21)
(TMZ) Scary Amanda Bynes arrested for DUI. "What the Fark happened to her?" celebrity mugshot trifecta in play  (tmz.com) (113)
(The Skeptic) Spiffy Skeptic.com credits FARK for the tip about a woman being fooled by a white coat and a little badge in the fix a 'flat butt' story  (skeptic.com) (0)
(Some Bee) Cool Last Call for NJ Fark Party Saturday April 7th Freehold/Howell. Please let us know if you're planning to attend & whether you're chargin' your lazer or just joining us to imbibe. DIT  (iplayamerica.com) (66)
(Forbes) Obvious Fark Fark Fark Fark Fark Fark Fark  (forbes.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Sad Not news: Profits of well-known phone manufacturer with three-letter name continue to nosedive. Fark: For once, it's not RIM  (electronista.com) (32)
(Marketwatch) Misc Bond market shaken, not stirred  (blogs.marketwatch.com) (1)
(ESPN) Cool Texas Rangers unveil statue at ballpark memorializing fan who died after falling from stands last season  (espn.go.com) (44)
(WRCB-TV) Amusing Park Service seeking volunteers to fire cannon at Civil War battlefield events in Tennessee and Georgia this year. The catch? They need Union volunteers  (wrcbtv.com) (138)
(Asheville Citizen-Times) Asinine 86'd patron returns to bar with a butcher knife and kills three in stabbing rampage. Fark: victim's brother and bar patrons save couple from attack, kill perp. So now the DA's charging the brother, ta-daa  (citizen-times.com) (215)
(The Local (Sweden)) Cool Made for Fark headline: "Church cock victory joy: it's huge and majestic"  (thelocal.se) (46)


Thu April 05, 2012
(Huffington Post) Asinine Bad: Kid doesn't have class picture permission slip. Good: They let him take part in the class pic anyway. Fark: They cover his face, sort of.... (click to see what may be one of the best uses of Farktography ever)  (huffingtonpost.com) (155)
(Psych Forums) Spiffy Psych Forums highlights a FARK headline about Earth's most silent place and quietly debates the topic  (psychforums.com) (3)
(truTV) Silly Awkward market research questions at the free sample station. "Did this drink make your nips hard?"  (trutv.com) (12)
(Heavy) Spiffy The sexiest, curviest models from the upcoming NY International Auto Show. Fark: They're all cars  (heavy.com) (39)
(The Alton Telegraph) Scary One would think that they would stop parking their cars in the same spot  (thetelegraph.com) (84)
(Some Pedestrian) Fail Not news: 14-year-old has driving lesson in parking lot. News: at 8:30 PM, with her family, including the baby, in the vehicle. FARK: she hits another vehicle, air bag deploys, she keeps driving. Then it gets weird  (ksla.com) (44)
(Some Guy) Amusing In honor of opening day around the country, here's a list of the worst baseball cards ever. What? No Billy Ripken Farkface?  (pophangover.com) (34)
(BusinessWeek) Fail 1040farkthis  (businessweek.com) (97)
(CNN) Followup This may come a a shock to you, but legal experts say that the federal judge who ordered the administration to "clarify" Obama's remarks on judicial review , is a partisan hack who has wildly overstepped his authority  (cnn.com) (284)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Woman severely burned in Wicker Park fire. Lord Summerisle unavailable for comment  (chicagotribune.com) (37)
(KTLA) Asinine Fark Mother Of The Year arrested for texting with a baby on her lap while on the 405 Freeway with a suspended license and unsecured kids in back  (ktla.com) (92)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Coffee shop owner advertises he is hiring for barista job. News: Female applicants only. FARK: He tried to interview them while he was nude  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (55)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 361: "Pinholes, Lomos & Holgas, Oh My!" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (107)


Wed April 04, 2012
(Summit County Voice) Cool Thanks to a link from Fark.com a science story on the genetic origins of domestic cattle was our second most viewed article  (summitcountyvoice.com) (2)
(Fark) Silly I know you guys are sick of hearing about the Vegas Fark Party, but this one contains [OMGOMGOMG] Dinosaurs. LGT original thread  (fark.com) (152)
(Telegraph) Fail Not News: Man breaks into game preserve. News: Cannot get cash so he saws off a Rhino horn. FARK: It was a fiberglass Rhino head  (telegraph.co.uk) (43)
(BBC) Fail Not news: tram de-rails. Holy farking fail: It was the first tram out of the depot after a £100m upgrade  (bbc.co.uk) (26)
(Some Guy) Amusing "I smear you with the mark of the disgraceful blackface", "The sugar truck's clear, God I miss my other three fingers" and five other universal hand gestures you're getting wrong  (weirdworm.com) (23)
(ABC) PSA Near all-time high prices heading into Easter. No, not for gasoline, for ham. Fark: no word on how high bacon prices are  (abcnews.go.com) (27)


Tue April 03, 2012
(crushable) Spiffy Crushable's story about Audrina Patridge includes a witty observation and headline by a clever FARK submitter (4th paragraph)  (crushable.com) (2)
(Fark) FarkBlog Illiterate lobsterman no longer lost at C, robot masturbators, and Internet meme recursion loops: some of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 3/25 - 3/31  (fark.com) (10)
(News 3 Las Vegas) Cool The week after the World Fark Party II in Vegas, a six-pack of beers gets a seat on Las Vegas City Council. Coincidence?  (mynews3.com) (12)
(Some Guy) Strange Big Head Todd does a blues cover of LMFAO "Sexy and I Know It" Fark: and it's awesome  (radiomilwaukee.org) (74)
(ESPN) Spiffy Milan just drew level at Barca, the krauts lead the frogs, and Fark has now thread for this? I am disappoint  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (33)
(The Today Show) Fail I can see the Today Show jump the shark from my house. (Bonus: Outraged comments goodness)   (allday.today.msnbc.msn.com) (107)
(Courier Mail) Sad Medical radiographer suspended from her profession after drinking a quart of boxed wine at work. No, I don't know her Fark handle  (couriermail.com.au) (38)
(Forbes) Obvious Secret's out: The Hunger Games is really a marketing textbook disguised as an ultraviolent, post-apocalyptic Romeo and Juliet rehash  (forbes.com) (63)
(Guyspeed) Spiffy Guyspeed.com illustrates their article about staring with an eye catching photo courtesy of FARK  (guyspeed.com) (2)
(Some Guy) Misc Calling all Farkers: City of Dacula needs name for new park  (dacula.patch.com) (80)
(Fox News) Weird Not News: The modern world is out of ideas. News: Movie-style poster appears on internet announcing sequel. FARK: It's from Al-Qaeda  (foxnews.com) (46)
(BBC) Followup Kentucky win inspires Drew to release FARK hostages  (bbc.co.uk) (5)
(Some Tater) Amusing To commemorate the 75th anniversary of Idaho Potatoes, the Idaho Potato Commission has... HOLY FARK, we're gonna need a lot of bacon and sour cream  (983thesnake.com) (20)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Adam Sandler prepping a remake of the Mark Harmon classic Summer School  (hollywoodreporter.com) (89)
(Daily Mail) Cool For Rent: Hyde Park flat up for grabs during the Olympics complete with butler and Aston Martin. You too can live like royalty for a mere £11,000 a night  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)


Mon April 02, 2012
(WZZM-13) Strange Not news: Student requests use of helper animal on campus. News: University denies her request. Fark: Helper animal is Bianca the guinea pig  (wzzm13.com) (58)
(Fox News) Followup After 48 years, 576,000 miles, and a story on Fark a few years back, 93-year-old Florida woman stops driving her beloved 1964 Mercury due to age-related macular degeneration  (foxnews.com) (59)
(The Onion) Satire Marlins Park construction crew completely unaware they've been building a baseball stadium  (theonion.com) (17)
(Des Moines Register) Strange Somebody broke into a city park building and stole a package of hamburger patties from a freezer. Police describe the masked suspect as wearing a black-and-white striped shirt, and broad black hat, and muttering, 'Robble, robble'  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (31)
(The New York Times) Sad Harry Crews, who wrote about a man eating a 1971 Ford Maverick, has passed. RIP to an ex-Marine, ex-boxer, ex-bouncer, ex-barker, and ex-drunk whose work AND life were "freakish drama, deep tragedy and the blackest of black comedy"  (nytimes.com) (34)
(ABC) Interesting Not news: airlines' treatment of passengers slow. Fark: ...ly Improves  (abcnews.go.com) (29)
(Wimp) Cool Not news: An alley-oop at a high school basketball game. Fark: Out of the shotgun formation  (wimp.com) (73)
(onlineathens) Interesting Native Americans used a method of dramatically shaping trees in order to mark trails and other important landmarks. Many of these trees, bent 90 degrees and running parallel to the ground, are being rediscovered today  (onlineathens.com) (40)
(Hartford Courant) PSA On Monday, 10 new items will mark Burger King's biggest menu expansion since the chain opened its doors in 1954. Where is your god now?  (courant.com) (187)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times like this FARK headline: "Dyslexic degenerate sports gamblers can't lose on Monday. It's KU and UK for all the marbles"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (3)


Sun April 01, 2012
(Mirror.co.uk) Sappy Not News: Identical twins separated by adoption. Newsy: For 55 years. Fark: They've been living round the corner from each other  (mirror.co.uk) (42)
(Fark) FarkParty World Fark Party II - Las Vegas Nevada: March 30 - Apr 1  (fark.com) (1902)
(Jalopnik) Dumbass And the award for Most Inappropriate Parking Space goes to...School-bus in front of Porn Store, let's have a round of applause  (jalopnik.com) (84)
(NYPost) Spiffy Wanna know what driving a NYC cab was like back in 1945? Ask Johnnie Footman, he started driving cabs in 1945. Fark: You can talk to him in the back of his cab because he's still driving cabs in NYC  (nypost.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Not news: Cop turns on emergency lights and siren. Fark: Drivers notice and pull over to the side of the road to let the police car pass safely by  (policeone.com) (140)
(TBO) Florida Ugly ass baby aardvark born at Busch Gardens. Awww, how cu-KILL IT WITH FIRE  (www2.tbo.com) (57)
(The New York Times) Scary Tracking for cops is big business for cellphone companies. A menu of "surveillance fees" is marketed to cops that determine a suspect's location, trace phone calls and texts and provide other classified services  (nytimes.com) (63)
(The Sun) Weird Not news: Woman has twins. Fark: One from each womb. (w/pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (67)
(Kansas City) Interesting Hide or this storm will farking kill you  (kansascity.com) (28)


Sat March 31, 2012
(The Newspaper) Followup Man buried in bogus parking tickets by estranged wife's cop friends will be allowed to sue police officers and city  (thenewspaper.com) (72)
(TMZ) Cool Christopher Walken talks about what he'd buy if he ever wins the lottery. While he says it's a yacht, we all know he'd want his Fark tag back  (tmz.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Asinine Fark soon to be illegal in Arizona  (mediacoalition.org) (233)
(Yahoo) Obvious Ladies and gentlemen, it's official. The drunker you are, the prettier you become - to yourself. This would explain why most Farkers "feel sexier, smarter and funnier, even when others privately think you are a turkey"  (ca.news.yahoo.com) (44)
(Heritage News) Spiffy Heritage News enjoys their moment in the sun after FARK picks up their story about a tornado and a cable company   (chelseanewsroom.blogspot.com) (0)
(Inquisitr) Obvious Inquisitr reviews feminism on the internet and calls FARK one of the most male-dominated areas of the web (2nd paragraph)  (inquisitr.com) (40)
(BBC) Interesting What is really going on... on the "dark side"?  (bbc.co.uk) (26)


Fri March 30, 2012
(Yahoo) Cool Ok, this is just farking cool as hell  (news.yahoo.com) (66)
(WTSP) Florida Not news: TV stations now picking "Facebook Friend of the Day." Fark: Tampa station picks a furry. Costume and all  (wtsp.com) (88)
(WLUK) Weird News: Over 900,000 names placed on petition to recall Scott Walker. More news: Only five names removed as fake. Fark: It turns out that someone actually did name their kid "Fungky Van Den Elzen"  (fox11online.com) (313)
(USA Today) Cool Hey, all you Vegas Farkers. Once you shake off the hangovers, here's an article listing some cool things to do. Test drive a Lambo, fire a grenade launcher, bulldoze things. Even some tree hugging and artsy crap for you libbies  (travel.usatoday.com) (43)
(New York Daily News) Cool Teens filling up the lanes at local archery range after watching Hunger Games movie. Top that, sparkly vampires  (nydailynews.com) (199)
(LiveLeak) Scary Holy farking shiat  (liveleak.com) (52)


Thu March 29, 2012
(Mental Floss) Spiffy Mental Floss uses real FARK stories in their own "FARK or Three's Company?" quiz  (mentalfloss.com) (50)
(With Leather) Stupid That whole "ads on NBA jerseys" thing is probably going to happen. This article brought to you by Carl's Jr: Fark you, I'm eating  (withleather.uproxx.com) (61)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Cool No longer News: Teacher has sex with student. Sometimes News: Teacher is hot. Go directly to FARK: Teacher is a Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleader...and she's doing you, kid. +1  (news.cincinnati.com) (263)
(News.com.au) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: Man wakes up to find front lawn stolen  (news.com.au) (27)
(Daily Stab) Scary Charles Barkley turns into Jennifer Hudson in new Weight Watchers ad  (dailystab.com) (18)
(Daily Mail) Obvious The Adele Files: A global sex survey has revealed that the British are world leaders when it comes to lovemaking in the dark  (dailymail.co.uk) (88)
(Wired) Cool Giant tornado five times the size of Earth demolishes a trailer park on the Sun  (wired.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Followup Richard Clarke on Stuxnet  (readability.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Amusing "You found someone you like enough to marry? Who also wants to marry you? And now you want some farking towels as a bonus prize, are you kidding me?"  (thefrisky.com) (134)
(ABC) Weird Female crash test dummies get injured more often, can't parallel park  (abcnews.go.com) (21)
(LA Times) Cool A woman looks at Ron Swanson and realizes what Fark has known for a long time. Ron Swanson is the greatest man ever  (latimes.com) (48)
(Viral Footage) Video Cool: Base jump. Fark: Inside a church. Bonus: In Brussels, Belgium  (viralfootage.com) (16)
(fx green zone) Spiffy Fx Green Zone calls FARK one of the hot pages of the web  (fxgreenzone.org) (3)
(NHL) Cool Not news: Red Wing loses on the road. News: To the Columbus Blue Jackets. Fark. On national television. Ultrafark: Due to injuries, Columbus started their 5th string goaltender, who got his first NHL win to boot  (nhl.com) (170)
(KHOU Houston) Fail Bad: Brawl erupts at party after beer runs out. Worse: Four people shot, two stabbed, two beaten, one dead. FARK: This was a kid's birthday party  (khou.com) (99)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 360: "Farktography Recipe Book". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (99)


Wed March 28, 2012
(CNBC) Interesting Why is Apple gaining market share? Well, elderly poor in the South keep dying, for starters  (cnbc.com) (56)
(BBC) Interesting Foot bones from possibly novel, upright hominid species found in Ethiopia, prompting Creation Museum to add a new monkey stall to the Ark exhibit  (bbc.co.uk) (27)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Rock guitarist applies for trademark to fill niche for "Justice For Trayvon" hoodies. With Jimi-Hendrix-wannabe album cover pic of the entrepreneur  (thesmokinggun.com) (45)
(Boston Herald) Dumbass Lawyers, police, reporters who don't read Fark are shocked by driver's .384 BAC reading  (bostonherald.com) (71)
(The Skeptic) Followup Skeptic.com gives FARK credit for the story about unpleasant words like "dinosaurs," "birthdays," and "Halloween" which educators have banned from exams  (skeptic.com) (3)
(Think Progress) Asinine Congressman gets kicked off House floor for wearing a hoodie in support of Trayvon Martin. Fark: Because the Speaker claims it violates the House's rule against hats  (thinkprogress.org) (π)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine Baltimore to raise cash by selling its historical landmarks. Now accepting offers for Shot Tower, War Memorial Building, Brooks Robinson's glove  (articles.baltimoresun.com) (78)
(Stuff.co.nz) Strange News: Soccer ref hands out five red cards. FARK: In the dressing room  (stuff.co.nz) (19)
(YouTube) Cool Bike parkour is the best parkour  (youtube.com) (46)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times give a shout out to FARK for this jewel: "Packers sign center Saturday. They signed him on Saturday? No, Friday. Who? Saturday. What?"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (2)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Not news: Woman gets revenge on school bullies. Fark: By becoming a smoking hot Victoria's Secret model (probably not safe for work)  (dailymail.co.uk) (124)


Tue March 27, 2012
(Gizmodo) Amusing What the fark is this? Obviously, you're not a golfer  (gizmodo.com) (79)
(Yahoo) Sad If you were to ask 1,000 Farkers to name the best thing about Women's Beach Volleyball, 999 of them will give you the same answer. The other one sits on the Olympic Wardrobe Committee  (sports.yahoo.com) (84)
(Fark) FarkBlog Dick Cheney's heart plant surgery, Bob Uecker's statue juuust a bit outside of Miller Park, and a special report from Trevor McSmokingballs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/18 - 3/24  (fark.com) (10)
(Washington Post) Cool First probe since the 70s to reveal secrets of Mercury. Uranus still unremarkable though  (washingtonpost.com) (29)
(HyperVocal) Spiffy Hypervocal News gives credit to the FARK submitter who had fun with her husband's iPhone autocorrect feature  (hypervocal.com) (1)
(ABC) Amusing Japanese Court to Google: You must turn off your auto-complete feature because this man is offended at what it returns for his name. Google: how do you say "Bite me, you jurisdiction-lacking motherfarkers" in Japanese?  (abcnews.go.com) (71)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Spiffy Blood-alcohol level of .552, your move Vegas Farkers  (suntimes.com) (119)
(Imgur) Followup Submitter took a few suggestions from the Fark community and replaced words on her husband's iPhone. LGT photo album of results  (imgur.com) (269)
(WebProNews) Spiffy WebProNews credits FARK as the source for the 130 episodes of the Simpsons simultaneously video  (webpronews.com) (0)
(The New Yorker) Obvious How the Daily Mail Online conquered Britain, the Internet and Fark with fluff, fear, celebrity gossip and monkeys  (newyorker.com) (46)
(The Skeptic) Spiffy Skeptic.com credits FARK for the tip about AccuWeather not being so accurate  (skeptic.com) (1)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Strange Derick A. Thoene, 28, walked into Iowa City hall at 11:37 a.m. Thoene allegedly approached the lobby receptionist and said, 'I have your parking attendant in the trunk of my car, do you want him dead or alive?'  (press-citizen.com) (42)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for drawing their attention to the odd story of multiple winning lottery tickets  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Dumbass Man arrested for repeatedly flashing people walking around a park and eating a bag of marijuana. Thank god he wasn't wearing a hoodie  (press-citizen.com) (51)
(Sci_Tech Today) Interesting Peking Man fossils that were lost during WWII, while in transit to US for safekeeping, may be buried beneath parking lot in Qinhuangdao China  (sci-tech-today.com) (24)


Mon March 26, 2012
(CBS News) Scary Like a guy pleading with his loan-shark's goons for more time, Obama's conversation with Medvedev gets caught by a hot mic  (cbsnews.com) (257)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo gives FARK a tip of the tail for its giant Gambian pouch rat story. Willard secretly approves  (gizmodo.com) (1)
(Some Bee) Cool Sat. April 7th NJ Fark Party for Sir Cumference the Flatulent. Update: We're still hitting up Iplay America for some laser tag, but food & drink venue has changed DIT  (iplayamerica.com) (98)
(NPR) Fail Helicopter parents force cancellation of annual Easter egg hunt. Due to their "aggressive actions" when they swarmed the park last year, determined to get their precious snowflakes the most goodies  (npr.org) (89)
(Some Guy) Amusing "As in real life, there are a few cucumbers on the road." Stupid farking cucumbers  (au.eurosport.com) (6)
(YouTube) PSA With the World Fark Party II looming, please Farkers, don't let this happen to you  (youtube.com) (26)
(CNBC) Obvious Oh yeah, we're farked  (cnbc.com) (21)
(Short List) Cool "Give me a Dalek any day." Doctor Who arrives in the Wild West in farking excellent new trailer  (shortlist.com) (115)


Sun March 25, 2012
(The Sun) Interesting Not news: Smoking hot 22-year-old spends six months planning her entire wedding. Fark: She's single (w/pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (289)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Obvious Now is the best time to visit Yellowstone Park. As long as you don't mind all the snow and bears  (cleveland.com) (38)
(Deadline) Followup It's official: The Hunger Games has beaten Twilight at the box office and proven itself to be the better franchise in many ways. TEAM NO SPARKLY VAMPIRES  (deadline.com) (158)
(Some Guy with too much credit) Amusing Hey cool, Amazon is sending me a list of sports watches they have on sale based on my browsing. ((Clickety)) HOLY FARK, who is working at Amazon, ex-BOA mortgage brokers??  (amazon.com) (69)
(Daily Mail) Cool Not News: Couple gets married. News: Wedding gets crashed. Fark: By the Queen of England  (dailymail.co.uk) (165)
(Some Guy) Sick Exceptionally creepy looking child molester denied appeal after convic... wow that dude's creepy looking... conviction for molesting children who "wanted to be touched" by him... seriously though, that's one creepy looking fark  (magicvalley.com) (153)


Sat March 24, 2012
(LiveLeak) Fail Never before has such a large amount of parallel parking fail been squeezed into such a little car  (liveleak.com) (56)
(Boing Boing) Asinine Good News: Surcharge for 3-D movies will soon be a thing of the past. Fark: By just making all tickets more expensive  (boingboing.net) (83)
(Some Guy) Amusing Thirty-year-old hottie teaches 14-year-old not to tell his mother what they did. Since this is on Fark, it didn't work out that way. With pics and YES you would  (wistv.com) (134)
(Yahoo) Sad Not news: Kid has food allergy. News: Will kill him if he even smells it. Fark: He's allergic to pretty much ALL food  (shine.yahoo.com) (140)
(Grantland) Fail Sixty reasons why Fark's favorite Warriors fan huffs paint (bonus: not a slideshow)  (grantland.com) (31)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy Stephen King reads a chapter from his upcoming eighth Dark Tower novel. Dad-a-chum, did-a-chee  (shelf-life.ew.com) (86)
(Daily Yomiuri) Strange Nearly bankrupt municipality of Izumi-Sano, Osaka Prefecture, plans to lease naming rights for city, city slogan, city hall, and public roads to interested applicants. Farkers see vacation to Izumi-Sano Boston Garden in their future  (yomiuri.co.jp) (30)
(JSOnline) Obvious MLB team in a small market set to welcome 3 million fans for the season. Ownership to pay for talent. In other news this is happening in Milwaukee. FARK: Team owner will profit. SuperFark: It might work  (jsonline.com) (51)
(Guardian) Cool UK supermarkets try to choke the hot chicken tax  (guardian.co.uk) (20)
(KTLA) Cool Let's give a loud FARK welcome to Wernerius inyoensis, a thumbnail sized new species of scorpion from Death Valley National Park  (ktla.com) (28)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo thanks FARK for the intensely hot firefighting video  (gizmodo.com.au) (0)
(The Atlantic Wire) Followup Among the people who have worn hoodies and, therefore, according to Geraldo Rivera, are asking to be shot include Justin Bieber, Mark Zuckerberg, Rachel Maddow, Ellen Page, E.T. and Geraldo Rivera. Gentlemen, let's lock and load  (theatlanticwire.com) (627)


Fri March 23, 2012
(Fark) Survey Quiz time, come get your fresh Fark Weird News Quiz, right out of the oven  (fark.com) (45)
(Bellator) Cool Friday night fights Bellator 62 "fark it, my bracket is doomed" edition. The Heavyweight Tournament Final has been scrapped, Santos declared a Fatbodyweight, but the Lightweight Quarterfinals must go on. Fights start at 7pm ET  (bellator.com) (155)
(NBC San Diego) Asinine This means Mark Cuban automatically becomes owner and the Padres payroll balloons to $60 mil. Right? Right? Oh God it's hard being a Padres fan  (nbcsandiego.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Florida Geraldo Rivera brings his trademark investigative skills to the Trayvon Martin Case. This time he strikes gold  (twitter.com) (449)
(Some kid in a basement) Fail Billions of dollars of infrastructure later, DoD network is now thoroughly under control. Fark: "...by foreign spies." Awkward  (threatpost.com) (60)
(Mother Nature Network) Followup As more and more schools and supermarket reject pink slime beef, it could be the worst thing to ever happen to cattle  (mnn.com) (242)
(Brockton Enterprise) Dumbass Not news: Man gets third DUI. News: While on tractor. Fark: He was doing doughnuts in a Bobcat  (enterprisenews.com) (23)
(Reuters) Obvious Bull market continues  (reuters.com) (7)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Bear market begins  (marketwatch.com) (6)
(dustbury.com) Spiffy Dustbury picks the clever headline about HP's business merger as their FARK Blurb of the Week  (dustbury.com) (0)
(YouTube) Cool Have you ever seen the 'Dark Knight Rises' trailer on LEGOS, man?  (youtube.com) (41)
(BBC) Hero Sir Ian McKellen and Stephen Fry should be granted honorary UltraFark status for life for this immensely good deed  (bbc.co.uk) (114)
(ITWorld) Audio 20 iconic tech sounds that are nearly extinct in today's modern world. Hark, the modem sings SKREEEEE DAAAAAA DONK DONK DONK BSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  (itworld.com) (84)
(Some Guy) Stupid After a man was murdered on a dark stretch of a bike trail, city council decides it's best to add: A) Lights B) Police patrols C) A memorial bench  (dailytidings.com) (41)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Not News: Fight outside of school. News: Prearranged on Facebook. FARK: Between two Moms  (dailymail.co.uk) (28)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Not news: City Manager dumps his entire workload on his two assistants. Fark: Because he laid *himself* off in order to cut costs  (huffingtonpost.com) (50)
(CNBC) Obvious General Mills' Wheaties dying a slow death in cereal marketplace, thanks to sports superstars like Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan no longer getting the eaties for their Wheaties  (cnbc.com) (46)


Thu March 22, 2012
(Yahoo) Amusing News: French standoff ends in death of gunman. Fark: Female anchor drops f-bomb 57 seconds into this broadcast reporting it  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine Reason #4080 why Congress gets nothing done: Senator promises filibuster over US Post Office changes while Maryland and Delaware fight over which side of the state line their west bumfark post office will be  (baltimoresun.com) (44)
(The Register) Amusing Penis joke headlines make Fark redundant  (theregister.co.uk) (4)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo thanks FARK for the tip about a weird story involving a man, his wife, Facebook and 911  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Some Mummy) Sick Not news: Elderly woman buried last Friday after passing away. News: She died two years ago. Fark: Body was stored in the basement of funeral home  (sj-r.com) (20)
(FiFi) Dumbass Judge asks defendant what the fark the guy's poodle was doing in his court. Man threatens to burn down the courthouse and the judge in it if he doesn't back off asking poodle questions (take the fifth, FiFi)  (kbkw.com) (65)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for drawing their attention to an important story about the truthfulness of the media  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(Fark) Photoshop Photoshop theme: A Venn diagram to explain Fark to someone who's never been here  (fark.com) (39)
(Kentucky Forward) Spiffy Kentucky Forward notes that LexCon 2012 will have appearances by nerds, comics, toys and everyday people including FARK's Drew Curtis  (kyforward.com) (1)
(ESPN) Spiffy Brewers to honor Bob Uecker with statue just a bit outside of Miller Park  (sports.espn.go.com) (88)
(Some Guy) Hero This Farker's husband's plan to hike the Appalachian Trail with an inoperable brain tumor. LGT his project/blog  (kickstarter.com) (234)
(Kamloops Daily News) Spiffy Kamloops Daily News picks FARK's clever Randy Moss headline as one of the best sports laughs of the week  (kamloopsthisweek.com) (1)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 359: "Curves 2: Recurves". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (152)


Wed March 21, 2012
(Some Glowing Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sparkling water  (muz4in.net) (21)
(TMZ) Dumbass Larry David gets trapped in a parking garage. Man, I loved that episode of Seinfeld  (tmz.com) (33)
(Fark) Amusing Remember the story about the jerk who ruined a for-fun beer darts league? (LGT original thread) Well, the jerk behind it is now targeting a Farker (DIT)  (fark.com) (lots)
(Canada.com) Dumbass If you missed the story from Arkansas last week, Saskatchewan police would also like to remind you not to rid yourself of boredom by texting "I hid the body... now what?" to strangers  (canada.com) (57)
(The Hill) Obvious President Obama has no plans to mark the two-year anniversary of Obamacare this Friday. Wonder why he'd ignore a chance to celebrate such a momentous, historic event?  (thehill.com) (103)
(Fox News) Scary Not News: If I were the Devil speech perfectly describes the decay of modern-day America. Fark: Speech was given in 1965. "In other words, if I were Satan, I'd just keep on doing what he's doing"  (nation.foxnews.com) (274)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Ever wonder how June Cleaver would have turned out if she was raised in Florida? (with DON'T FARK WITH ME" mugshot)  (palmbeachpost.com) (55)
(Northampton Chronicle) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: Doggers put off by trimmed bushes  (northamptonchron.co.uk) (34)
(MSN) Scary Made for Fark headline: "Menacing-looking artificial vaginas now sold at Walgreens"  (now.msn.com) (176)
(Some Guy) Followup Some things in life are just inevitable... the sun rises, the seasons change, and FARK's favorite spray paint connoisseur, Patrick Tribett, will be arrested for huffing paint  (wvjails.info) (124)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News credits FARK for the weird story about a breathtaking find at the beach  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(USA Today) Asinine In these difficult economic times, you'll be comforted to know that more CEOs than ever have surpassed the "earning more than $50 million per year" mark  (usatoday.com) (155)
(Yahoo) Amusing Canucks broadcaster gives Mark Recchi his medical credentials  (ca.sports.yahoo.com) (91)


Tue March 20, 2012
(Business News Daily) Obvious Farking the poor  (businessnewsdaily.com) (94)
(WTKR) Scary You know it was en epic fight with your wife when she rams your car in the parking lot as you try to flee, chases you the wrong way down a highway and rams your car into a utility pole  (wtkr.com) (51)
(CNN) Amusing Not news: UConn women's basketball wins another tourney game. News: The final score was 72-26. Fark: The team they beat was an 8 seed that already won their first round game   (sports.sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (125)
(Washington Free Beacon) Asinine Watch congressman Markey say the President has nothing to do with rising gas prices and then watch him blame a different President a few years ago for rising gas prices  (freebeacon.com) (127)
(Slate) Florida In Fark's favorite state, it's perfectly legal to kill anyone anywhere and claim self-defense  (slate.com) (646)
(The Sun) Obvious X Factor judge gets high marks on recently discovered sex tape. Yes ... the Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (57)
(UPI) Asinine Oh, is gas getting cheaper again? Fark that alternative energy noise  (upi.com) (60)
(Liberty Republican Forum) Interesting Liberty Republican Forum illustrates their article about Missouri party voting with a jaw-dropping photo courtesy of FARK  (fontcraft.com) (0)
(Live Science) Dumbass Why is Nokia is called Nokia? Is it A) Named after its founders B) Named after a town in Finland or C) The noise you will be making, when you next go for an MRI scan, if they bring magnetic tattoos to market  (livescience.com) (32)
(Telegraph) Interesting Apparently, William Shakespeare spoke Amurikun. FARK yeah  (telegraph.co.uk) (253)


Mon March 19, 2012
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting Does the MPAA really believe that kids haven't heard the 'F' word? Good thing that kind of censorship doesn't exist outside of farking Hollywood  (blogs.suntimes.com) (67)
(YouTube) Strange Nicolas Sarkozy speaks out about shooting tragedy in Fr--OH MY GOD WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN'S FACE  (youtube.com) (71)
(Mirror.co.uk) Strange Today's Fark-ready headline: I want my four-year-old to have my baby  (mirror.co.uk) (43)
(Mirror.co.uk) Sad What's all this, then? Adele's 21 has overtaken Pink Floyd's The Dark Side Of The Moon in the list of biggest British albums ever  (mirror.co.uk) (200)
(CBS News) Scary Apparently the Mark of the Beast is actually ABBA  (cbsnews.com) (95)
(Fark) FarkBlog How dating with narcolepsy is just sleeping around, KONY 2012 guy busted for leaving his invisible children around, and NASA planning solar missions at night: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/11 - 3/17  (fark.com) (4)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Student suspended for shaving his head. FARK: in support of his best friend who is battling leukemia  (myfoxdc.com) (120)
(Houston Press) Sad The Houston Astros have come up with a new slogan: "Root. Root. Root" . Here are a few other suggestions. Perhaps Fark could contribute a few more  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (58)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Florida's governor expected to sign a bill doubling and tripling fines for parking illegally in handicap spaces, which in Florida will impact no one at all  (sun-sentinel.com) (74)
(Big 1059) Followup Fark's favorite chain-smoking 8 yr old sent to rehab  (big1059.com) (21)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious The value of Chicago's patent power is rapidly approaching jack shiat. Go fark yourselves, corruption central  (chicagotribune.com) (20)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida Good: Going to Bottoms Up to watch strippers. Bad: Getting carjacked in the parking lot. Farkworthy: Having to put on a show for the ladies as you watch your car ride off in to the sunset  (jacksonville.com) (31)
(Business News Daily) Dumbass Five fast food marketing disasters that will make you question if the ad agency suffered from assburgers  (businessnewsdaily.com) (57)
(WTSP) Amusing Student busted for NCAA betting pool. FARK: Fifth grader  (wtsp.com) (41)


Sun March 18, 2012
(Science Daily) Obvious I bet we'll see this on Fark. COME ON, I HAVE TO MAKE THE SPREAD  (sciencedaily.com) (14)
(LiveLeak) Asinine Not news: police have to stop a European soccer match when crowd gets out of control, burning flares and throwing all manner of things on the field. Fark: at an under-8 kids' game  (liveleak.com) (26)
(Gizmodo) PSA How to take flawless naked pics of somebody else's body, considering this is Fark. (Probably not the safest thing for work)  (gizmodo.com) (61)
(ABC) Spiffy Tourette's Syndrome doesn't IN MY ASS stop New PUSSYWILLOW York co-ed's POOPFARKER dreams. Bonus: Hot, porn WHORELICKER name  (abcnews.go.com) (95)


Sat March 17, 2012
(Some Guy) Sick News: Man arrested for getting a minor drunk. Fark: The minor was a one year old. Total Fark: With a BAC of more than .2  (kltv.com) (68)
(KVAL) Silly "Armed with a box of crackers, Eyewitness News went to the park to see how the squirrels acted"  (kval.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Woman's glance can tell men she wants to fark (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (179)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme : Protest signs for Farkers  (google.com) (53)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column says FARK's amusing NCAA headline survives the cut as the clear winner of the week (2nd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)
(Forbes) Strange Marketing mavens split on Hyundai's new hipster-based brand identity, with some ads directed by Wes Anderson, other ads starring obscure indie rockers, and still other ads starring Jeff Bridges playing "Jeff Bridges"  (forbes.com) (48)
(Fark) Cool Happy 7 Million, Fark  (fark.com) (1450)
(Fark) FarkParty Not that Farkers need an excuse to drink, but we'll take it anyway. Here's your annual Boston/Cambridge St. Paddy's day Pub Crawl (3/17, 1pm)  (fark.com) (130)


Fri March 16, 2012
(Elliot Wave International) Obvious Elliot Wave International compares FARK's non sequitur headlines to the reporting by the financial news media (3rd section)  (elliottwave.com) (0)
(Some Guy) Sick If the school won't release your kid to you, stripping off and singing religious songs in the parking lot may not help your cause  (delcotimes.com) (51)
(Fark) Survey Friday already? Time for Fark's Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (33)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass Man throws bowling ball, strikes teenager in face. Mark it zero  (buffalonews.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Fail Marijuana grow lamp sparks house blaze, firefighters able to knock down the flames once they dispersed the large crowd that had gathered downwind  (wdsu.com) (35)
(US Constitutional Free Press) Silly US Constitutional Free Press discusses the importance of news aggregators and mentions FARK as "fulfilling a very specific need among a news-hungry public"   (usconstitutionalfreepress.wordpress.com) (2)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times Sideline Chatter column picks FARK's clever Randy Moss headline as one of the best of the entire week (2nd section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)


Thu March 15, 2012
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Athlete busted for doping. News: Busted by little-known Canadian sports federation. Fark: Wheelchair Curling   (wheelchaircurler.blogspot.com) (13)
(io9) Stupid First trailer for DARK SHADOWS; pure unadulterated horror, and not in a good way  (io9.com) (144)
(Huffington Post) Amusing "As Fark aptly notes, 'The story is unremarkable. The mug shot is unforgettable.'" Dude, we aptly note stuff ALL THE TIME. (shoutout in 4th paragraph)  (huffingtonpost.com) (7)
(Herald-Leader) Dumbass Drive on a parkway, park on a driveway, _______ on a walkway  (kentucky.com) (67)
(TED Talks) Amusing Following the passionate response to SOPA, founder of Rhapsody uses Copyright Math to figure out the $58 billion that the entertainment industry claims they lose. Bonus: he's speaking at Fark con in Vegas Mar 30th  (ted.com) (169)
(Jalopnik) Obvious I love Fark.com  (jalopnik.com) (36)
(YouTube) Video Today's "holy fark, you're old" moment: Terence Trent D'Arby is 50  (youtube.com) (30)
(Smh.com.au) Cool This world champion wakeboarder and national champion snowboarder does four different backflips on the wakeboard and has sponsors lining up at her door. Fark: She's 8 years old  (smh.com.au) (3)
(Daily Mail) Misc "...according to a new report, eight out of ten of us are wearing badly-fitting bras..." Well that explains some Farkers  (dailymail.co.uk) (310)
(YouTube) Spiffy The best remix of Willy Wonka you will watch today. And I'm not talking about Burton's steaming pile of crap with Depp. I'm talking Willy Farking Wonka  (youtube.com) (35)
(BusinessWeek) Followup Goldman Sachs loses $2.2 billion market cap after NYT Op-Ed piece  (businessweek.com) (184)
(New Zealand Herald) Interesting New Zealand Herald picks its 10 web hits of the week and thanks FARK for #10  (nzherald.co.nz) (0)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Brain cancer patient thrown out of hospital because she used her medication. News: It was medical marijuana. Fark: Hospital has a no-smoking policy  (huffingtonpost.com) (244)
(Fox News) Spiffy Not News: Champion archer hopes for gold at 2012 Olympics. Fark: He has only one arm. Holy Fark: He shoots arrows with his teeth  (foxnews.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Lubbock Planned Parenthood CEO arrested for taking his little Richard out to play at the park  (kcbd.com) (101)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 358: "Legos". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (69)


Wed March 14, 2012
(ktvb.com) Obvious Bomb scare in trailer park threatens to cause tens of dollars in improvements  (ktvb.com) (24)
(ESPN) Sad Good: Peyton Hillis will return to Cleveland in 2012. Fark: As a member of the Kansas City Chiefs  (espn.go.com) (75)
(Washington Post) Unlikely 34 percent of DC singles rate themselves "heavy drinkers," the highest among US cities surveyed. Which reminds me -- when's the next DC Fark Party?  (washingtonpost.com) (129)
(Think Progress) Unlikely Rep. Allen West (R-FL) says the stock market is strong because it has the foresight that a Republican will be elected president in six months  (thinkprogress.org) (137)
(Abc.net.au) Cool In today's photojournal challenge, the ingredients are: grassy park, Maasai warriors, and cricket bats  (abc.net.au) (13)
(MIT) Unlikely MIT wants to build a better parking lot  (web.mit.edu) (105)
(Money Morning) Obvious US Government spends $592,000 researching the Fark Politics tab, plus 17 other examples of how your tax dollars are spent on the mundane to the inane  (moneymorning.com) (107)
(Some Guy) Scary The story is unremarkable. The mug shot is unforgettable  (wlwt.com) (179)
(CNBC) Amusing In banking terms, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon just told Ben Bernanke to go fark himself  (cnbc.com) (37)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy New York Daily News loves the mocking tone of FARK's recent culinary headline (next to last paragraph)  (nydailynews.com) (0)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Welcome to Fark  (hollywood.com) (61)


Tue March 13, 2012
(Chicago Tribune) Fail Someone finally figures out that selling John Wilkes Booth bobble-heads in the Gettysburg National Park gift shop might be in bad taste  (chicagotribune.com) (80)
(G4TV) Interesting Sid Meier: The art of making interesting decisions. Like making it possible for a spearman to defeat a FARKING TANK  (g4tv.com) (115)
(Hundred Black Out) Amusing News: Rush Limbaugh attracts new sponsors. Fark: Sponsors like Westboro Baptist Church  (hundredblackout.com) (272)
(Fark) FarkBlog Pilot fatigue traced to dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court, skier wins competition on one ski despite paperboy, and Madonna skips adoption in lieu of marriage: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/4 - 3/10  (fark.com) (10)
(WebProNews) Interesting "Websites such as the indispensable Drudge Report, Times 24/7, Real Clear Politics, Digg, Fark and Reddit collect news from sources spread across the Web." Wait... are we indispensable now? (4th paragraph)  (webpronews.com) (15)
(Press Herald) Amusing Fark credited for embracing food critic's down-home sweetness and racking up many views: "I had never heard of going viral before and I didn't know what that means, so I'm just taking it all in my stride" (5th paragraph)  (pressherald.com) (6)
(Uproxx) Cool One Farker's mashup of The Walking Dead and Office Space "has been deemed the preferred choice of the internet," according to Uproxx (not-safe-for-work)  (uproxx.com) (5)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Amusing Cleveland.com recognizes Fark's snark for an Olive Garden reviewer (10th paragraph shoutout)  (cleveland.com) (3)
(Wired) Interesting Why being a Farker is great for creativity  (wired.com) (13)
(Media Matters) Interesting Why the invisible hand of the market is going all Caligula on Rush Limbaugh  (mediamatters.org) (136)
(C|Net) Obvious Move over Fark Independents™, your Facebook Independent™ cousins are turning out to be just as annoying  (news.cnet.com) (103)
(Washington Times) Stupid Germany proposes tax on Fark and other news aggregators for linking to stories. Also considering tax on stock tips, fashion advice, and plans to sue Rwanda for patent infringement on death camps  (washingtontimes.com) (57)
(TechEBlog) Weird Another day, another five theme parks you've never heard about  (techeblog.com) (11)
(Gamma Squad) Cool The Dark Tower returns from the dead, Friendo  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (83)
(MSNBC) Amusing Fark.com gets a mention on the Today Show's story on internet sensation, food critic, Marilyn Hagerty  (msnbc.msn.com) (2)
(Some Guy) Amusing Michelle Obama challenged on government role in anti-obesity campaign. Fark: By 11 year old  (mega949.com) (169)
(USM Free Press) Spiffy University of Southern Maine discusses news outlets and media sources: "During my first year, I expanded my horizons with websites like Fark for laughs"  (usmfreepress.org) (0)
(USA Today) Hero More and more doctors are standing up to parents who refuse to vaccinate their children and telling them to go fark themselves  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (433)
(Some Guy) Ironic Not news: Westboro Baptist Chuch members to attend event. News: Westboro Baptist Chuch members invited to attend event. Fark: Westboro Baptist Chuch members invited to attend atheist rally. Hilarity sure to ensue  (theblaze.com) (136)


Mon March 12, 2012
(Breitbart.com) Obvious Breitbart takes issue with Fark's sarcastic headline about Raquel Welch. "You never saw Welch go down on some guy or bent over a bed in a degrading moment of loveless sex"  (breitbart.com) (151)
(Gizmodo) Interesting The dark side of organ donation. Well for starters, you're dead  (gizmodo.com) (64)
(Telegram) Dumbass Bad: Getting your 16-year-old son drunk. Worse: Taking it upon yourself to give him a tattoo. FARK: Misspelling the word "Juggalo" on said tattoo  (telegram.com) (214)
(NYPost) Sick The reality TV phenomenon has officially jumped the shark now that Hollywood may develop a show about a seven-year-old boy with leukemia looking for a bone-marrow donor  (nypost.com) (46)
(BusinessWeek) Unlikely Flood the market again, Tony  (businessweek.com) (47)
(Yahoo) Cool Fark NCAA Pick'em Pool - May the drunkest participant win   (tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com) (97)
(NPR) Florida Not news: Underwater home sells for far less than it was worth. News: For 12% of its peak value. Fark: To a fourteen-year-old girl. And of course, it happened in Florida  (npr.org) (242)


Sun March 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Man buys car. News: Dealer sells man with dementia a new car. Fark: a $62,000 Nissan Murano convertible Ultra Fark: They even got him to pay $10,000 in extra accessories, including rust proofing  (pressdemocrat.com) (164)
(Some Guy) Fail Not news: Cops taser suspect. News: Suspect is a 9-year old boy described as "large for his age". FARK: Council fires police chief and disbands the PD  (dispatch.com) (119)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for uncovering a story about a nude raccoon  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(Some Guy) Amusing A picture is worth a thousand snarks. Just click the link and try not to laugh too loud  (tecca.com) (66)
(USA Today) Strange In this edition of Strange Collaborations in Media, we give you John Mellencamp and Stephen King, whose musical, Ghost Brothers of Darkland County, debuts next month  (content.usatoday.com) (21)
(io9) Interesting Not news: Dog gets run over while chasing a car. News: It was a robot dog. Fark: In 1939  (io9.com) (23)


Sat March 10, 2012
(WMUR) Hero Hard: Climbing 48 mountains. Harder: Doing them all in a single winter. FARKing Hard: Doing it blind  (wmur.com) (74)
(NYPost) Followup Jets' Mark Sanchez signs three-year contract extension. New York immediately removes all signs of Peyton Place  (nypost.com) (116)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo tips their hat to FARK for showing them the unbelievable story about personality-changing pill  (gizmodo.com) (2)
(Telegram) Spiffy Worcester Telegram recognizes the latest internet sensation caused primarily by FARK's humorous restaurant review (paragraph 10)  (telegram.com) (1)
(Yahoo) Amusing Old Broad Goes Viral: A North Dakota newspaper columnist becomes an Internet sensation after her review of the Olive Garden hits the news website Fark  (news.yahoo.com) (22)
(TVShowsOnDVD) Spiffy Got about 450 hours to kill? The entirety of Dark Shadows is being released in a single DVD set later this year. Of course, by the time you finish watching it, you'll probably be able to pass as Barnaby Jones yourself  (tvshowsondvd.com) (89)


Fri March 09, 2012
(The New York Times) Cool Fake chicken so tasty and realistic it fooled Mark Bittman  (nytimes.com) (71)
(Washington Free Beacon) Dumbass Why did Sen. Kirk miss that big vote yesterday? Oh that's right Fox anchor, he had a farkin' stroke  (freebeacon.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Fail Dance instructor/choreographer makes dance troupe wear nude color bikinis: "The audience should think that you are nude - completely topless." FARK: They're eight years old  (939mia.com) (153)
(Neatorama) Obvious Submitting to Fark makes you successful... AND sexy  (neatorama.com) (14)
(Fark) Survey Quiz time: How many Fark stories do you remember from the last week?  (fark.com) (57)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Notice that 4G icon on in the upper-left corner of your AT&T iPhone after the software update? Well, as you may have suspected, it's marketing bullshiat  (huffingtonpost.com) (70)
(Slate) Ironic The KKK suffers in today's fast paced and competitive hate-group market  (slate.com) (67)
(Some Guy) Fail Man goes from living in a million dollar home, having multiple vehicles, and vacationing all over the world to just owning 10 items. FARK - On purpose  (vcstar.com) (76)
(YouTube) Video Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson's remarks at Senate Commerce hearing on the future of our space program  (youtube.com) (85)
(Art Info) Spiffy ArtInfo.com thanks FARK for the tip about the three "Star Wars" prequels and lists it as one of the 5 important film events of the week  (artinfo.com) (0)
(Smh.com.au) Scary Farking magnets, how do they taste?  (smh.com.au) (34)
(Grand Forks Herald) Spiffy Grand Forks Herald thanks FARK for the numerous page views after a tasty story about the Olive Garden restaurant. "Popular websites such as Fark posted the story, setting off a barrage of comments" (3rd and 5th paragraph)  (grandforksherald.com) (9)


Thu March 08, 2012
(Politico) Stupid With earmarks nearly banned and free private jets and meals curtailed by pesky ethics rules, many members of Congress now say that their job "sucks"  (politico.com) (98)
(Some Bee) Cool NJ Fark Party - Come meet ex-pat Sir Cumference the Flatulent while he's back in the states Join us for some video games & laser tag @ iPlay first & then onto dinner & drinks @ Moore's Tavern (Freehold) Saturday April 7th  (moorestavern.com) (69)
(WCBS.com) Fail LaDainian Tomlinson introduces Mark Sanchez to the underside of the bus  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (64)
(IGN) Interesting Fox's failed attempt at Jurassic Park to be revived by InGen, er Netflix  (tv.ign.com) (71)
(Think Progress) Hero Not news: Congressman calls Norquist's anti-tax pledge "disingenuous and irresponsible." Holy Fark: Republican Congressman calls Norquist's anti-tax pledge "disingenuous and irresponsible"  (thinkprogress.org) (68)
(Fark) FarkParty Dallas Fark Party, TONIGHT at Jack Daniels Bar and Grill. Starts 6PM - Drew will be there - ALL WELCOME  (fark.com) (218)
(CBC) Cool Scientists measure first antimatter "atom", remarking that it appears very much like a normal atom except for the tiny little goatee  (cbc.ca) (102)
(Toronto Star) Interesting Scientists say that dark matter blob could rewrite our understanding of galaxies, give Hollywood screenwriters at least another 20 years of poorly conceived plot points  (thestar.com) (10)
(Deadspin) Followup Fark's favorite high school basketball announcer rips his vocal chords once again as team advances in playoffs after coming back from improbable 15-point fourth-quarter deficit (w/video)  (deadspin.com) (9)
(Toledo Blade) Sick Good: Family offered free funeral and casket. Bad: because their mother's body was molested by funeral home employee. Fark: Again  (toledoblade.com) (91)
(Daily Mail) Hero Not News: Dog saves owners life. Fark: FOUR TIMES  (dailymail.co.uk) (28)
(Science Daily) Spiffy New species of catshark found, so named because of its habit of vomiting at least twice a day  (sciencedaily.com) (16)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 357: "Instant Inspiration" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest  (farktography.net) (52)


Wed March 07, 2012
(MSNBC) Scary Stranded kite surfer survives over 40 hours on energy drinks and energy bars while waiting for coast guard to pick him up. Oh, and he had to stab a bunch of hungry sharks. They probably just wanted his energy bars  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (53)
(io9) Interesting A) Too busy submitting articles to FARK  (io9.com) (19)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Florida town would like for fishermen to stop chumming for sharks off the public beach. Cause sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark  (palmbeachpost.com) (32)
(USA Today) Spiffy Good news, TFettes: Here's a list of all the Vegas party pools where you'll be able to go topless for the Fark Convention March 30-April 1  (travel.usatoday.com) (117)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy Captain Jack Harkness lands in 1895, this fall on ABC  (insidetv.ew.com) (38)
(Deadline) Cool Parks & Rec films two season finales to throw everyone off the scent of whether or not Leslie Knope wins the election  (deadline.com) (44)
(BusinessWeek) Fail Worried about your 10 shares of Merck losing a point or two during yesterday's market sell off? Well, the 20 richest people on the planet lost a total of $11.3 billion  (businessweek.com) (25)
(Democratic Underground) Obvious Imagine a country where there's: No Obamacare, No income tax, A complete free market, No Unions, No Govt involved in Business, Health Care, Labor matters or pretty much anything else except national security. Here's the Tea Party Heaven  (democraticunderground.com) (226)
(Gawker) Stupid If Fark had thumbnail previews this would be an easy greenlight, unfortunately  (gawker.com) (55)


Tue March 06, 2012
(Some Guy) Spiffy Skeptic.com thanks FARK for the tip about the image of Jesus Christ on a tortilla  (skeptic.com) (8)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for the tornado story and the resulting hot air coming from Pat Robertson  (doubtfulnews.com) (1)
(io9) Amusing 10 weird stories about Higgs Boson fails without mention of the strange effect stories of it have on Fark timestamps  (io9.com) (32)
(With Leather) Cool With Leather uses FARK as the reference for this story about the game of 'Sepak Takraw'  (withleather.uproxx.com) (1)
(YouTube) Scary Not News: Avalanche. News: Video of avalanche. Fark: Video of avalanche hitting a chairlift. Holy Fark: Video of avalanche hitting a chairlift shot by someone still on the chairlift  (youtube.com) (97)
(BBC) Weird Boy burned after replacing Wii sensor bar with aftermarket... tea candles  (bbc.co.uk) (76)
(WRAL) Sick Fark-ready headline: Santa posts bond for child sex charges  (wral.com) (39)
(News.com.au) Scary Continuing the recent theme that everything in Australia will try to kill you: Normally safe aquarium shark bites woman in face  (news.com.au) (31)
(Short List) Followup Remember that three-year-old McNugget that looks like George Washington? It sold on eBay for $8,100. Subby's spending the day doing a BBQ sauce portrait of Teddy farking Roosevelt  (shortlist.com) (19)
(CNBC) Scary Dr. Doom says buy gold, fark the Fantastic Four  (cnbc.com) (25)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo cites FARK for leading them to the story about our weird ancestors  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Some Guy) Cool Welcome to an ancient movie-making era lost in the mists of time, with these behind-the-scenes videos of Stan Winston's animatronic dinosaurs for Jurassic Park  (joblo.com) (14)
(NYPost) Scary Fark's favorite poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut hospitalized after drug overdose. Much to the great shock of ... well, nobody  (nypost.com) (138)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo thanks FARK for posting a tasty story about maple syrup  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(WGAL 8) Dumbass When a card just won't do: Man exposes himself in Hallmark store  (wgal.com) (27)


Mon March 05, 2012
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid Romney describes the Russian election as a "mockery of the democratic process." Putin describes the GOP Primary as a "clusterfark of epic proportions that continues to rape the carcass of that long deceased chicken"   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (44)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Dumbass Leaving your three-year-old at Chuck E Cheese is a mistake. Not realizing she was gone until you saw the report about a missing kid on the news is just farking dumb  (abc2news.com) (67)
(I Heart Chaos) Cool Is there room in the market for another game console? Valve seems sure they can pull it off, I seem sure that my 360 will be on Craigslist the day this is announced  (iheartchaos.com) (121)
(Indecision Forever) Asinine "Ron Paul: Tornadoes are nature's way of marketing insurance" (sponsored link)  (indecisionforever.com) (412)
(Some Concerned Friend) Sappy Alice_Liddell is undergoing radiation and chemo after having a large brain tumor removed. Fark brain tumors Please donate to her team w/the American Brain Tumor Association, then pray for her or send her good mojo or whatever it is that you do  (hope.abta.org) (178)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Not News: Couple spend £10,000 on cosmetic surgery. Fark: For their dog  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(NYPost) Fail Not news: TSA confiscates woman's bottle of water. Fark: Lets her go with a dagger in her bag. Total Fark: takes 10 minutes for TSA to call the cops  (nypost.com) (81)
(Some Guy) Interesting Researchers aim to fill zoos with extinct species brought back via cloning. DID NONE OF THESE PEOPLE SEE JURASSIC PARK?  (thenewsstar.com) (148)
(3 News New Zealand) Strange I've had it with these motherfarkin' eels in my motherfarkin' gutter  (3news.co.nz) (44)


Sun March 04, 2012
(Daily Mail) Spiffy For sale: One slightly used town in Montana. For only $1.4 million you get a small trailer park, general store - which is currently closed - and the newly government-built post office. Serious inquiries only  (dailymail.co.uk) (109)
(The Local (Germany)) Sappy Ugliest ass picture of a baby wild pig with a broken leg that you will see all day...man...Germany is remarkably dusty this time of year  (thelocal.de) (38)
(Bleacher Report) Sad Former pro wrestler Doug Furnas dead at 50 from Parkinson's. He'll no longer be able to get any heat  (bleacherreport.com) (39)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing What do blood, bad tattoos, magic marker, transvestites and hots chicks, have in common? Mugshot Gold. This week's mugshot round-up  (thesmokinggun.com) (111)
(Fox News) Strange Nissan to revive beloved "Datsun" brand for new line of cheap vehicles to be sold in emerging markets, despite 210 reasons not to  (foxnews.com) (75)
(Seattle Times) Cool Seattle Times gives Fark a shout out about this winner: "Yankees look to cut payroll all the way down to $189 million by 2014. And they say the 1% aren't suffering"   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (1)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Criminal genius repeatedly burglarizes home store, replacing the broken window, hauling the loot to his nearby storage locker and selling it online. Fark: If it wasn't for his pesky footprints in the snow  (newssun.suntimes.com) (18)


Sat March 03, 2012
(Mercury News) Spiffy Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK's Deion Sanders headline as the clear winner for the week (2nd section)  (mercurynews.com) (0)


Fri March 02, 2012
(The Atlantic) Asinine After crashing the housing market, driving home prices negative; then walking away from their underwater mortgages while asking for bailouts, older generations are shocked, SHOCKED that Millennials don't want to buy homes  (theatlantic.com) (228)
(TMZ) Obvious 16 and Pregnant "star" arrested for stealing pregnancy test. FARK: and using it before she left the store  (tmz.com) (89)
(Fark) Survey Thanks to the help of your fellow Farkers, the Quiz lives on. Have fun  (fark.com) (43)
(Weather.com) Scary Jim Cantore is in Lexington. Could this be the end of Fark? Midwest tornado outbreak thread  (weather.com) (516)
(USA Today) Interesting Royal family scheduled at 2012 Olympics. Queen Elizabeth II to open stadium events, Camilla Parker Bowles to open the equestrian events with Charles riding her over the ceremonial first jump  (usatoday.com) (19)
(Yahoo) Interesting Obama says he's proven "Democrats are not weak on defense" though he admits they do have some concerns in the secondary that they hope to address either in the draft or the free agent market  (news.yahoo.com) (218)
(dumbassdaily.com) Spiffy Dumbass Daily thanks diligent Farkers for bravely sniffing out even more dumbass videos posted by that dumbass Leap Year Rant girl  (dumbassdaily.com) (4)
(WorldNetDaily) Amusing NEWS: GOP former Louisiana governor ponders presidential run as independent -- FARK: It's Obama's fault  (wnd.com) (95)


Thu March 01, 2012
(Yahoo) Scary News: extreme roller-coaster opening in England; FARK: stunt-pilot after preview ride: "even as a pilot used to G-force there were some gut-wrenching moments"; Ultra-FARK: test runs with crash-test dummies have them return dismembered  (news.yahoo.com) (59)
(WAToday) Ironic Former News of the World chief executive Rebekah Brooks had her cell phone hacked. Fark: by reporters from the News of the World  (watoday.com.au) (28)
(The Tennessean) Asinine Tempers flare during tournament time as coach and referee are tossed for fighting. Fark: From a second-grade league  (tennessean.com) (30)
(Short List) Video Flying robots play James Bond tune. Yeah well done and everything, that's nice, really, but where the fark's my hoverboard?  (shortlist.com) (14)
(ESPN) Amusing Not news: ESPN blogger takes weekend off. Fark: Readers rejoice, nearly every comment on his blog post calls for vacation to be permanent  (espn.go.com) (71)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup I can think of two: Holy fark  (chicagotribune.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Interesting Top 10 Movies of 2012 to get excited about (which aren't named Dark Knight Rises or Avengers)  (watchvideogames.com) (95)
(Some Guy) Hero Archie Comics to homophobes: Fark you  (goodasyou.org) (149)
(Fox 8 New Orleans) Spiffy Fox 8 (New Orleans) notices that their story about police department target practice got national attention thanks to FARK (6th paragraph)  (fox8live.com) (3)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 356: "Parking Lots" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (138)


Wed February 29, 2012
(YouTube) Spiffy Only Mal can rescue Clark Kent. Or is it... Only the Green Lantern can rescue Joe Hackett? Or maybe... Only Lex Luthor can save Capt. Hammer and Superman?  (youtube.com) (11)
(AZ Family) Sick News: Arizona couple arrested for soliciting three-way on Craigslist. Fark: With a dog  (azfamily.com) (161)
(Huffington Post) Hero "If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd fark a Senator"  (huffingtonpost.com) (157)
(SeattlePI) Obvious Bourdain rips Paula Deen again, noting he smoked on his own show but "wasn't selling any farking cigarettes. And when I found a spot on my farking lung, I didn't wait 3 years so I could get a deal selling the patch"  (seattlepi.com) (160)
(Daily Mail) Sappy 27 puppies born over span of three days. Fark needs an "ADORABLE" tag  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)
(Some Guy) Scary News: Government uses eminent domain to take someone's home; homeowner resists. Not news: Government takes surrounding houses. Fark: Government digs 10-meter moat around holdout's home  (good.is) (88)
(Yahoo) Sad The Most Dangerous National Park in America: Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument, where the Park Rangers take you on tours armed with M14 rifles, Yogi  (news.yahoo.com) (98)


Tue February 28, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting Long-delayed Acme park on the verge of approval. Attractions include: The Rocket Sled, The Catapult, The Anvil Drop and Exploding Tennis  (bellinghamherald.com) (28)
(Humans Invent) Cool F**k S**t Robotic word association using four letter words. Rob Seward explores the relationship between words, technology, and brain activity with "four letter words." But it all leans towards the rather profane and dark  (humansinvent.com) (5)
(Network World) Cool IBM researchers tout quantum computing breakthrough. Fark: Porn so fast ... uh, no, this really isn't about faster porn. Yet  (networkworld.com) (13)
(Telegram) Cool 84 year old driving instructor still going strong, has taught thousands of students to drive with blinker on, accelerate through farmers markets  (telegram.com) (17)
(Talking Points Memo) Interesting Citizens: "Fark you. I'm a sovereign citizen." States: "Oh really, citizen?"   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (175)
(Washington Post) Stupid Not News: Team loses game after opponent hits 2 free throws after a technical foul. News: Technical was for storming the court with 1.1 seconds left. FARK: Against an 8-19 team  (washingtonpost.com) (20)
(NBCNewYork.com) Scary United Flight 5124 makes an emergency landing at Newark airport without its nose landing gear. The flight arrived at Gate 21.... 22.... 23.... 24  (nbcnewyork.com) (81)
(Boston.com) Fail Mitt Romney recalls being at Detroit celebration. Fark: Before he was born  (boston.com) (98)


Mon February 27, 2012
(onlineathens) Dumbass Not News: College student gets his probation revoked. News: Because he was perched on a parking deck peeing on bar patrons below. FARK: He was on probation for painting LOTR graffiti all over campus  (onlineathens.com) (34)
(WGAL 8) Obvious Fark-ready headline: Gas Smell Originates In N.J  (wgal.com) (39)
(The Copenhagen Post) Scary Man in Denmark buying $26,000 in supplies from Germany for his Cognac shop has money seized by U.S. under PATRIOT Act. Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar if it's from Cuba  (cphpost.dk) (303)
(Dispatch.com) Interesting Not news: NY Jets center Nick Mangold has a 340-pound sibling who may make the US Olympic weightlifting squad. Fark: it's his sister. With 'just-big-boned' pics and video  (dispatch.com) (62)
(Short List) Fail The internet is awash with brilliant proposals. Here's a farking awful one to try and redress the balance  (shortlist.com) (146)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Chelsea Clinton turns 32 today, but mom and dad called in a few markers so she'll remain 28 until the 2020 Democratic coronation/convention   (huffingtonpost.com) (62)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Video Best Actor winner Jean Dujardin shouted "fark" live during the Academy Awards. TV censors apparently didn't give a merde  (nbclosangeles.com) (17)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting The latest roadblock to the housing market recovery? Your student loan debt  (businessweek.com) (120)
(Yahoo) Dumbass WI Gov Scott Walker makes his bid for immortality by trying to set the world duration record for poultry-farking  (news.yahoo.com) (77)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Sad Tennessee nightclub shooting leaves 1 dead, 19 injured, everyone else shaking their heads at the sad state of pistol marksmanship in this country  (ajc.com) (42)
(TBO) Florida What happens when you park a small car at the Red Neck Yacht Club? It gets flattened by a van with 5-foot tires, of course  (www2.tbo.com) (71)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy This just in to the Fark newsroom: Tennis ace Gabriela Sabatini is still gorgeous  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)


Sun February 26, 2012
(io9) Interesting Not news: Oscar winner predictions. Fark: For the next five years  (io9.com) (22)
(YouTube) Cool Today would have been the 96th birthday of The Great One, and no I'm not talking about Wayne Gretzky or Mark Levin  (youtube.com) (57)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Of course the most controversial debate of all on Fark is whether or not to pop your popcorn like a man with oil, or air like a sissy little girl  (suntimes.com) (257)
(Some Guy) Fail There's "Can't hit the broad side of a barn" and then there's "Shoot yourself when trying to hit a raccoon in a live-trap". Fark: Twice  (kcrg.com) (52)
(Reuters) Cool Guy asks Taylor Swift to Prom. Not news, she turns him down. Fark: She asks HIM to the ACM Awards instead  (reuters.com) (69)


Sat February 25, 2012
(MSNBC) Scary Eight reasons why gas prices will hit $5/gallon this year. "Because fark you, that's why" suspiciously absent  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (299)
(WLSAM) Fail Teacher pleads guilty to changing grades. Fark: At least this is not another smokin' hot teacher student sex scandal. More Fark: At least she is smokin' hot  (wlsam.com) (212)
(Yahoo) PSA Fark's NasKar Memorial Racing League - WWND - DIT  (racing.fantasysports.yahoo.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Dumbass In the cool early morning hours, John Columbus Beane lay in the parking lot of Linda's Sports Bar, the distant police sirens signaling an end to a day filled with what had proven to be a string of very bad decisions  (wvgazette.com) (84)
(Mercury News) Spiffy Mercury News Jockularity column picks FARK's recent NBA headline as one of the funniest of the entire week (2nd section)  (mercurynews.com) (1)
(Some Guy) Cool Rollerskating husband and wife team performing on the Ellen show. FF to the 2:00 mark for a "DAAAAAAMN" moment  (izismile.com) (54)
(Fark) FarkParty Fark Party in Asheville, NC area on Saturday at 7:30  (fark.com) (108)
(Nola.com) Hero Bad: Drunk jerk at Mardi Gras parade harasses autistic girl, sends her home in tears. Good: Girl's story goes viral, leading to massive outpouring of support. Fark: New Orleans restages Mardi Gras just for her  (nola.com) (154)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Colbert gets revenge on dead Mormons by converting them to Judaism. Fark: He performs a "proxy circumcision", using a hot dog and a cigar cutter. (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk) (93)


Fri February 24, 2012
(National Post) Asinine Not News: Man arrested. News: Man arrested for possession of a firearm at a school. Fark: Because his four-year-old daughter doodled a gun  (fullcomment.nationalpost.com) (171)
(Fark) Survey Okay, get ready. It's time for (possibly the last) Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (66)
(Gather.com) Sick What's the best way to ensure you DON'T rest in peace? Get buried with a million dollar necklace in a gold casket. There's a rush on at Newark hardware stores--for shovels  (celebs.gather.com) (70)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy Apple takes a big bite into the app search engine market. Acquires Chomp for $50 million  (bloomberg.com) (21)
(Miami Herald) Florida Riot police sent to Orlando mall because people there were A) part of the Occupy movement, B) protesting the war in Afghanistan, or C) trying to buy glow-in-the-dark shoes  (miamiherald.com) (65)
(Forbes) Obvious Are you now, or have you ever been a member of Fark.com? Do you think it's OK to use the internet at work?  (forbes.com) (31)
(Short List) Fail "RUN. Get to da Choppaaaah. NO WAIT. Fark that, get away from da choppaaaah"  (shortlist.com) (21)
(Rolling Stone) Obvious Matt Taibbi, on the Arizona GOP debate: "They're turning the gun on themselves now. It might be justice, or it might just be sad. Whatever it is, it's remarkable to watch"  (rollingstone.com) (76)
(Some IT Guy) Scary Not News: Net voting system test hacked. News: System hacked to play college fight song. FARK: Company doesn't notice until 36 hours later  (fiercegovernmentit.com) (18)
(ABC) Sad News: Cancer patient says "Screw chemo, let me go home and die in peace." Fark: Said cancer patient is 12 years old  (abcnews.go.com) (187)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo cites FARK for giving them the tip about the man who used the old 'Craigslist sex ad spam trick'  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(carl lavin.wordpress) Obvious FARK is not "for readers who take offense readily or who take sarcasm or hyperbole as literal statements of truth" (6th paragraph)  (carllavin.wordpress.com) (23)


Thu February 23, 2012
(Some Guy) Interesting News: Mayoral candidate secretly videotaped getting lap dance from a woman. Not News: Candidate claims he was set up. Fark: He was videotaped while his potential public relations person watched  (kvia.com) (32)
(Foreign Policy) Stupid Meet the British lawyer fighting Islam, one parking ticket at a time  (foreignpolicy.com) (55)
(El Paso Times) Scary Not news: El Paso woman hit by bullet. Fark: Fired from a gun in Mexico  (elpasotimes.com) (62)
(Yahoo) Obvious The better question would be "is there anything Congress hasn't managed to fark up or destroy yet?"  (finance.yahoo.com) (45)
(Marketwatch) Misc How to know if you really beat the market: Is the market lying in a corner crying and begging you not to tell them twice? Congratulations, you just beat the market  (marketwatch.com) (11)
(WRCB-TV) Obvious It may be hard to believe, but apparently a few of the statements made during last night's GOP debate were a just a tiny little off the mark in the truthiness department. Fact checking, how does it work?  (wrcbtv.com) (88)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Jeremy Linterested in trademarking "linsanity" so he can lincrease his lincome by lintroducing a new line of products  (bloomberg.com) (20)
(Daily Kos) Hero Not news: New Mexico's governor says "Don't let them feelthy queers marry." Fark: her gay hairstylist tells her to fark off  (dailykos.com) (190)
(North County Times) Spiffy From the "You CAN make a difference" files: Tonight a City Council in California killed a proposal to outsource the local public library. Leading the fight against outsourcing was a Farker. DIT  (nctimes.com) (324)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 355: "Noir: Embrace Your Dark Side". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (104)


Wed February 22, 2012
(Some Guy) Stupid Ever flirt with someone in a park? Congratulations, you're under arrest  (gay.americablog.com) (114)
(Some Fueler) Interesting Alcohol may be the gas for future airplanes. Hell, this alcohol-to-gas conversion has been running Fark since '99  (flightglobal.com) (18)
(Yahoo) Silly The Mets finally win one. Fark: a lawsuit about hot dogs  (sports.yahoo.com) (14)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Farmers' Market attracts a younger crowd, which means you now also have to avoid crashing tricycles  (heraldtribune.com) (7)
(The BigLead) Amusing Cubs fan buys domain name for Red Sox new spring training park and redirects it to the Yankees homepage. In other news, only three more weeks until the Cubs are mathematically eliminated from the post-season  (thebiglead.com) (20)
(truTV) Fail Fail: Falling because you were texting while walking. Fark: Through the shot of a live news report  (blog.trutv.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Interesting Polling confirms the Fark Politics tab: Fascists love Texas, Commies love Massachusetts, and everyone hates California  (940winz.com) (121)
(Yahoo) Weird With all other crime taken care of, Rio de Janeiro takes aim at Carnival urinators. Fark: The first part of that sentence is actually close to being pretty accurate  (news.yahoo.com) (24)
(St. Petersburg Times) Asinine Actor sneaked cocaine into the White House Correspondent's Dinner, so Obama's a junkie and Sarah Palin is automatically president. Fark: Source is not Fox News  (tampabay.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Mark Cuban saves St. Patrick's Day parade. "I just thought it was fair that other people should be able to kill as many brain cells on Greenville Avenue as I have in my life"  (irishcentral.com) (26)
(CNBC) Misc Hey, brah. Maybe it's time for the markets to turn their lives over to Christ brah  (cnbc.com) (3)
(Forbes) Dumbass What do you mean "Nominated for Fark.com's headline of the year, 2011" and "Time Magazine's Person of the Year 2006" aren't proper qualifications for my resum *bzzt* hang on, I gotta get this  (forbes.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Amusing The world's strangest beer commercials, including beer for kids, a man being killed by a harpoon, and Van Damme sporting a remarkable mullet while discussing his talking nipples  (marketingmag.com.au) (15)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Fark Vegas World Party 2012 predictions  (pledgebank.com) (24)
(Seattle Times) Cool Seattle Times gives Fark a thumbs up for this jewel: "Celtics' Rajon Rondo discovers that you don't get an assist for throwing the basketball at the ref"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (1)


Tue February 21, 2012
(Fark) FarkBlog Gun accident leaves pastor's daughter holier than thou, LHC goes to ludicrous speed, and a bison as a best man, Tatonka very much: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 2/12 - 2/18  (fark.com) (9)
(We Heart It) Spiffy We Heart It thinks that FARK's witty headline about a shopping cart accident hits a bullseye  (weheartit.com) (3)
(AZCentral) Interesting School board updates dress code to ban jeans, sweatpants, flip-flops, and shirts that show too much cleavage and midriffs. Fark: The dress code is for the teachers, not the students  (azcentral.com) (66)
(Click Orlando) Florida I'm a little farked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to farkin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?  (clickorlando.com) (23)
(Den Of Geek) Obvious Answer: Fark themselves  (denofgeek.com) (120)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Researchers testing new Alzheimer's drug. News: studies show the drug actually impairs memory. Fark: "The new findings are not a red light for [the drug's] development"  (myhealthnewsdaily.com) (35)
(Marketwatch) Unlikely Comcast touts new 50Mbps internet connection for mental health facility. Crazies will now have even faster access to Fark politics tab  (marketwatch.com) (34)
(LiveLeak) Spiffy Ukranian parkour dog. With much wagging happy crazy jumpiness  (liveleak.com) (19)
(Short List) Fail Cinema accidentally shows trailer for The Devil Inside to toddlers. Number of angry parents already surpasses those who have actually seen the whole farking movie  (shortlist.com) (60)
(YouTube) Video Alan Rickman, he of the ladypart-melting voice, turns 66 today. Here's his reading of Sonnet 130, known on Fark as "Ode To A Girl With Sharp Knees"  (youtube.com) (39)
(Thanks but no tanks) Spiffy Thanksbutnotanks.com: "The commenters are the best part of FARK"   (thanksbutnotanks.fr33agents.com) (27)
(annarbor.com) Obvious Ann Arbor.com notes that the fastest way to get an unusual business idea off the ground is to get a link from FARK  (annarbor.com) (1)
(Daily Mail) Florida Not news: Fast food CEO works a shift at one of his restaurants for an episode of "Undercover Boss". Fark: He's so shocked by the abusive behavior of the shift manager that he breaks cover and confronts him (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk) (290)


Mon February 20, 2012
(Some Guy) Obvious Police searching for man who attempted to rob drugstore: 5'6" 130lb black male wearing dark grey, hooded sweatshirt, black shorts, a blue knit cap, two prosthetic legs  (939mia.com) (58)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo gives thanks to FARK for leaking the unusual story about the cause of an exploding power transformer  (gizmodo.com) (3)
(Marketwatch) Fail Travelodge facing insolvency despite their aggressive marketing strategy of being the only sleazy motel for miles  (marketwatch.com) (22)
(Telegraph) Interesting News: Child lives as a girl and has been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder Fark: at age four  (telegraph.co.uk) (328)
(Fox News) Interesting Man tries to resurrect the Studebaker as a lark  (foxnews.com) (25)


Sun February 19, 2012
(Time) Weird Undecided about vacation this year? Maybe Time's list of the world's 10 weirdest amusement parks can help you decide  (time.com) (88)
(NHL) Fail Not news: Shorthanded Goal. News: 3-on-5 Shorthanded Goal. Fark: Scored by Matt Cooke. Fail is for Philly goaltending  (nhl.com) (47)
(NHL) Cool Can Malkin solve Miller? Will Sharks end Wings streak? Will Blackhawks sing the Blues? Will Tim Thomas and Michele Bachmann form a more perfect union? Devils/Habs, really? It's your Hockey Day in America thread (puck drops: 12:30 ET)  (nhl.com) (172)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives their readers a chance to compete with the FARK regulars with a link to the Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy quiz)  (huffingtonpost.com) (0)
(The Province) Spiffy The Province (Canada) thinks that FARK had the best Jeremy Lin headline of the week (last section)  (theprovince.com) (1)
(Doubtful News) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for a tip about a bizarre foot mystery  (doubtfulnews.com) (0)
(The New York Times) Cool After a gunfight, failed suicide-by-Jaguar, crossing the Atlantic in a rowboat, the Pacific in another rowboat, and a life as an upholsterer, John Fairfax will try to fit in a box. RIP good sir, for you are the stuff Fark headlines are made of  (nytimes.com) (80)


Sat February 18, 2012
(Daily Mail) Amusing Not really news: First Lady Michelle Obama surprises visitors on White House tour. Fark: She shakes hands with a teenager wearing a Ron Paul T-shirt. AWKWARD (w/video & photos)  (dailymail.co.uk) (345)
(Google) Photoshop Farker i-dig is undergoing a tricky medical procedure. Photoshop him a get well soon card  (google.com) (89)
(Crooks & Liars) Cool Chris Christie vetoed civil rights. Now listen to the Newark mayor raise holy hell about putting the rights of minorities up for popular vote  (crooksandliars.com) (312)
(Life.com) Cool Never in the field of human hipsterism has so much been owed by so many to so few. "Cool" tag standing in for "Booze, Broads and Sharkskin Suits" tag  (life.time.com) (32)
(Reuters) Misc "Winning The Future." "Greater Together." "We Don't Quit." All have been suggested as replacements for "Hope and Change". You can do better, Fark. Any suggestions for the Obama2012 campaign slogan?  (reuters.com) (357)


Fri February 17, 2012
(AZCentral) Interesting Car with the Confederate Flag on it is not allowed to be the pace car at an upcoming NASCAR race. Fark: It's the General Lee  (azcentral.com) (143)
(Daily Mail) Scary Among all the bad things a mother can tell to their son, "Your father was Hitler" probably ranks in the top 7. With bonus HOLY FARK HITLER'S SON photo  (dailymail.co.uk) (114)
(The Hill) Hero Martha McSally (R-ighteous), a retired Air Force colonel and combat veteran, would like to kick Rick Santorum "in the jimmy" for his remarks about women in combat. HOORAH  (thehill.com) (147)
(Fark) Survey The Fark Weird News Quiz is back, so do your worst. No, wait...do your best  (fark.com) (36)
(AlterNet) Stupid How to miss the point about missing the point about a missed point. You farking clouds can go straight to hell  (alternet.org) (66)
(Yahoo) Amusing Why the market gotta be keeping whitey down?  (finance.yahoo.com) (2)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle Times thinks that FARK's Jeremy Lin headline is an easy winner (7th section)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (0)
(ESPN) Silly NY Jets plan team-bonding activities to bring players closer together for next season. First event rumored to be rumble with the Sharks, no zip guns allowed  (sports.espn.go.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Cool Not news: Sheriff knocks on door to canvas for voters. News: Sheriff finds marijuana grow house and busts occupants. Fark: One occupant says the sheriff has his vote on Election Day. With two of the happiest mugshots you'll ever see  (5newsonline.com) (88)
(Austin 360) Cool Cool: Life at college. Farking cool: At age eight  (austin360.com) (85)


Thu February 16, 2012
(Gizmodo) Amusing Gizmodo gives props to Fark for directing them to a story about a remedial eBay user  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Daily Mail) Sick Britain's fattest woman weighs 560 lbs and hasn't left her house in four years. She can still post on Fark though, which is nice  (dailymail.co.uk) (222)
(NYPost) Obvious Panasonic to stop manufacturing VCRs for Japanese market. If you're unsure what a VCR is, ask your parents  (nypost.com) (152)
(SFGate) Interesting HBO to Netflix: Fark You. Netflix to HBO: Right back at ya, pardner  (sfgate.com) (92)
(reality world) Fail How bad is reality TV? History professor says networks have run out of material and are stealing ideas from the Dark Ages  (realitytvworld.com) (37)
(Truthspew) Cool Truthspew tells its readers that the latest FARK photoshop contest is really out of this world  (truthspew.wordpress.com) (2)
(KHOU Houston) Hero Guy stops suspect robbing neighbor. "I'm no hero. Just an everyday, ordinary business man"... with a big farking gun  (khou.com) (137)
(Some Guy) Followup Turns out Apple does actually own the "iPad" trademark in China, but since when has the rule of law or honor been relevant in China?  (allthingsd.com) (25)
(LA Times) Followup Iron Sky, the Finnish sci-fi movie depicting an attack on Earth from Nazi communities hidden on the dark side of the moon, just debuted in Berlin. Bonus: it's also coming to the US  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (87)
(Some Cute Puppy) Sappy Farkette humbly requests help from fellow Farkers. Not for herself, but for an out of work friend and his furry roommates. DIT  (facebook.com) (128)
(Some Farker) Photoshop Farker Pxlboy requests to be Photoshopped in honor of his 10th year on Fark  (smg.photobucket.com) (45)
(Kamloops Daily News) Spiffy Kamloops Daily News picks FARK's MMA headline as one of the sports hits of the week (2nd section)  (kamloopsthisweek.com) (2)
(Some Guy) Amusing There are many challenges to a 1000 mile sled dog race: cold weather, deep snow, wolves stealing the trail markers, ice overflows, injur... wait, what?  (newsminer.com) (20)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 354: "Places of Worship". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (161)


Wed February 15, 2012
(MyFoxPhilly) Sick Not news: Sharing bags of tea is the latest trend at a Philadelphia elementary school. FARK: We're not talking Lipton... if ya know what I'm sayin'  (myfoxphilly.com) (62)
(HyperVocal) Spiffy Hypervocal News uses FARK comments in their revealing article about Facebook pictures on a porn site  (hypervocal.com) (11)
(ESPN) Amusing Mark Sanchez asks Santonio Holmes "to be my Valentine" Awwwww  (espn.go.com) (18)
(Chronicle) Obvious Professor and author of two books on the 1886 Haymarket riot attempts to correct an inaccuracy on the event's Wikipedia entry; has correction reversed, is called a vandal, is told site is based on what's popular, not what's true  (chronicle.com) (361)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop the demise of our over-used meme and Fark cliché, Lootie. (So long, buddy, we're really gonna miss ya)  (imageshack.us) (85)
(CNBC) Amusing CNBC analyzes market performance relative to the hair color of the cover model on SI's Swimuit Edition. BEST. MARKET INDICATOR. EVAAAAAR. (bonus: with pics)  (cnbc.com) (12)
(Celebitchy) Amusing Kate Winslet on watching herself in Titanic: "Block my ears, somebody. Somebody club out my senses. Make it farking stop'"  (celebitchy.com) (68)
(Fark) FarkBlog Kim Jong UnDead, another Italian jumps off a sinking ship, and men no longer offering Courtney Cox: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/5 - 2/11  (fark.com) (12)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo thanks FARK for hooking them up to a weird cell tower story  (gizmodo.com) (0)
(Star Gazette) Amusing Bad: Getting busted. Worse: Performing community service. Fark: Getting more time added onto your sentence for affixing a sex toy to the County van  (stargazette.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Flirting with your professor is a common and effective way to get ahead in class. But writing a whole paper about wanting to fark your prof when you're a 56 year old male student will get you a three-semester suspension  (wilx.com) (61)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Chris Brown, in response to criticism - "Hate all you want because I got a Grammy, now that's the ultimate FARK OFF." Yep, he's really sorry for what he did  (huffingtonpost.com) (188)


Tue February 14, 2012
(CSMonitor) Scary Five reasons the federal budget is so farked not even Ron Paul can save it  (csmonitor.com) (204)
(MSNBC) Scary Coke and Pepsi may be arming for another cola war. I remember the first cola war, son. I saw things you wouldn't believe. Delivery trucks on fire off the shoulder the road. Crystal soda glittering in the Safeway dark. Time to die  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (171)
(PhysOrg.com) Obvious Japanese researchers find all that missing dark matter. It was behind the couch  (physorg.com) (57)
(Nola.com) Stupid News: Two cars fighting gun battle on Interstate accidentally fire into car of innocent women. Fark: Shooter pulls over to apologize  (nola.com) (37)


Mon February 13, 2012
(Fox News) Scary There are many layers to the OWS onion, and each one is more difficult than the last to peel back. But it's starting to look like there is a single, rotten core at the dark center of this movement, and that core's name is ... ACORN  (foxnews.com) (279)
(Daily Mail) Silly This just in: Anne Hathaway doesn't wear her Dark Knight Rises catsuit when she goes out for a spot of shopping  (dailymail.co.uk) (52)
(Big 1059) Interesting This is the busiest week of the year for: (a) Hallmark stores. (b) Flower shops. (c) Private investigators  (big1059.com) (40)
(Herald-Leader) Spiffy Lexington Herald does a full page story on FARK and Drew. "When Drew Curtis started Fark.com, he was a 26-year-old smart aleck ...Now, Curtis is a 39-year-old smart aleck"  (kentucky.com) (15)
(Salon) Silly Today's Fark-ready headline: "Lessons of a very sexy pirate costume"  (salon.com) (107)
(Daily Mail) Florida "Mr Zambrana went into a closet to show Miss Kelley's boyfriend, the Reuger 9mm weapon after morning services." If you're reading this on Fark, you probably know what happened next  (dailymail.co.uk) (52)
(Slashdot) Strange Slashdot covers Something Awful attacking Reddit over pseudo-child pornography. Subby sad at being unable to work 4Chan, Digg, icanhascheezburger and Fark into previous sentence  (yro.slashdot.org) (123)
(Stuff.co.nz) Interesting Google creates algorithm to measure funny. First five copies snapped up by Fark mods  (stuff.co.nz) (13)
(Yahoo) Interesting Not News: Study suggests that human industries and the clearing of forest land may have been responsible for climate change. Fark: 2500-3500 years ago  (news.yahoo.com) (160)


Sun February 12, 2012
(Telegraph) Obvious The French just can't understand Fark, deodorants  (telegraph.co.uk) (80)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: white granddad takes his black 5-year-old granddaughter for a walk in the park. News: nine cops draw Tasers, handcuff him, and take granddaughter in a patrol car. Fark: this isn't the first time this has happened to them  (gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com) (462)
(Stars and Stripes) Asinine Bad: After leaving US Army nine years ago, veteran arrested for being AWOL finally gets discharge paperwork straightened out. Fark: He's not the only discharged vet with outstanding AWOL warrants  (stripes.com) (106)
(Fark) FarkParty Impromptu Fark meetup on Sunday evening for Houston Farkers. DIT when I get around to it, biatches  (fark.com) (28)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Some Guy) Fail News: Winter fest canceled. Fark: Due to cold weather. WTF: In Wisconsin  (sheboyganpress.com) (74)
(WRCB-TV) Spiffy Small group of poorly funded rebels organize to fight against extremely wealthy and powerful empire to prevent imperialist land grab. And if you think the Star Wars references are just Fark being Fark, think again  (wrcbtv.com) (77)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Obvious The National Park Service announced its plans to remove and change the inscription on the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. Obviously some people have a problem with this  (ajc.com) (131)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Gizmodo thanks FARK for the tip about a penetrating jewelery store heist  (gizmodo.com) (5)
(Gacksports) Interesting Gacksports notices some interesting points about FARK's slam dunk headline  (gacksports.com) (0)
(Daily Mail) Scary Man gets thrown out of pub by another customer for smoking. Since this is Fark, you'd better believe he came back into the pub with a chainsaw  (dailymail.co.uk) (43)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Search Engine Land) Amusing Search Engine Land gives credit to Fark for giving a whole new meaning to "Romney" (3rd paragraph shoutout in the section "The Linking Campaign")  (searchengineland.com) (0)
(Fark) Survey Get ready, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. #suckitBBC  (fark.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Cool Farker spidermann named a video game and gets his own press release. Suggest better game names to the right  (futurlab.co.uk) (28)
(LiveLeak) Cool It's 106 miles to Moscow, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we have a Tiger tank. Hit it  (liveleak.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Sad It's been five years since Anna Nicole Smith's anus was deemed to be unremarkable   (todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com) (39)
(Smh.com.au) Interesting Gorbachev targets Putin, having long ago demonstrated immunity to polonium by virtue of his Great Lakes shaped birthmark  (smh.com.au) (12)
(UPI) Cool World's largest collection of rare liquors on sale for $8 million. In completely unrelated news, TotalFark subscriptions to rise to $10/month for some damn reason  (upi.com) (9)
(AZCentral) Stupid Charles Barkley is unhappy with the decision to make Steve Nash the oldest point guard ever to play in the NBA All-Star game. "Clearly, we gave him a lifetime achievement award"  (azcentral.com) (24)
(YouTube) Hero Not news: Teenager trash-talks parents on Facebook. News: IT Dad finds said post while upgrading teenager's laptop. Fark: Lectures her and goes "Dirty Harry" on the offending computer  (youtube.com) (392)
(Google) Photoshop Theme: TV shows in the Dark Ages  (google.com) (58)
(LA Times) Spiffy News: Scientists have found a drug that reverses Alzheimer's in mice within 72 hours Fark: the drug also cures cancer  (latimes.com) (28)
(io9) Interesting The science behind the average greenlit Fark headline  (io9.com) (26)
(Forbes) Fail Dear Fark, why come I can't have a job, please?  (forbes.com) (58)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Stupid Problem: You have a city full of people who have no ability whatsoever to parallel park. Solution: Stop testing parallel parking on the driving test. Ta-Da, problem solved  (dcist.com) (126)
(Some Guy) Cool YDR.com gives a big shout out to: Fark.com is a great thing. We love Fark.com, and the more I mention Fark.com, the better the chance of this appearing on Fark.com  (ydr.com) (2)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Ugly-ass rhino that started the FARK ugly-ass animal cliche to be an ugly-ass father. Spiffy tag takes it over ugly-ass unlikely tag  (wlwt.com) (1)
(Discover) Amusing It's a shark-eating shark-eating-shark world out there  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (26)
(Fark) FarkBlog WORLD FARK PARTY II: Mar 30 - Apr 1 in Las Vegas - see comments for details  (fark.com) (355)
(LA Times) Interesting Sharks begin to distinguish us from whales and walruses  (latimes.com) (31)
(RedEye Chicago) Spiffy Red Eye Chicago grudgingly gives credit to FARK for the article showing they're in 2nd place in America's most miserable cities  (redeyechicago.com) (4)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 353: "Apples vs. Oranges 2: The Rematch." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (83)


Wed February 08, 2012
(Huffington Post) Strange Gov. John Kasich, eschewing teleprompters like any good republican, delivers bizarre off-the-cuff speech during which he mocks Parkinson's sufferers, cries like John Boehner, and insults the entire state of California  (huffingtonpost.com) (102)
(Fark) FarkBlog Vulcans dealing with Pon Farr, Microsoft defenestrating 200 workers, and Don Cornelius starting off Black History Month with a bang: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/29 - 2/4  (fark.com) (8)
(HitFix) Cool Denzel Washington headed for more action in '2 Guns' opposite Mark Wahlberg. Chances of a He Got Game sequel featuring the Funky Bunch remain remote  (hitfix.com) (41)
(Daily Mail) Followup How many officers does it take to beat the fark out of a man in insulin shock? In Nevada, the answer is 7 or more  (dailymail.co.uk) (409)
(nbc philadelphia) Followup Animal slavery trial of PETA against Sea World begins. Shamu reportedly hires a real shark for a lawyer  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (132)
(We Heart It) Spiffy We Heart It loves everything about FARK's big Jane Russell headline  (weheartit.com) (0)
(Some Guy) Interesting Former Republican candidate Gary Johnson says "FARK YEAH" when referring to the 9th's gay marriage decision. In other news, he is still running for President under the (L) label  (garyjohnson2012.com) (129)
(Vator.tv) Cool Fark.com gets a shoutout in an article about replicating Silicon Valley entrepreneurship  (vator.tv) (0)
(doubtful news) Spiffy Doubtful News thanks FARK for its bizarre story about garage door openers  (skeptic.com) (0)


Tue February 07, 2012
(Some Guy) Plug Farkette Elizabeth (FL) is trying to win a trip to Europe and become an ambassador for America's next generation of women pilots. She's currently trailing by only 100 votes. Click the Video Contest tab to vote  (womenofaviationweek.org) (372)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Iowa City CrimeStoppers release surveillance photo of man stealing a "Fark Me Silly #1" model "mega masturbator" from adult toy store  (thesmokinggun.com) (89)
(Viral Footage) Video Shredding an Abandoned Waterpark  (viralfootage.com) (35)
(Bangor Daily News) Misc You'd think with 7 UFOs hovering around the people of Milo, Maine wouldn't be complaining about how dark it is up there  (seeclickfix.com) (19)
(Talking Points Memo) Dumbass Republicans set to keep farking that Medicare chicken  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (117)
(Time) Fail Greece is now down to three options: a) get farked b) get farked harder or c) get farked like an Athens schoolboy  (time.com) (106)
(Some Nerd) Fail Facebook seem a little slow today? Fark links seem more farked than usual? It's not just you, North America's intarwebs are only doing marginally better than China's right now  (internettrafficreport.com) (117)
(Short List) Hero Not news: Man starts police chase. Fark: Man starts police chase because he "always wanted to do it"  (shortlist.com) (62)
(Some Trader Guy) Spiffy Two Buck Chuck celebrates its tenth anniversary this month. FARK: 600 million bottles have been sold so far  (traderjoes.com) (47)
(9 News) Dumbass News: Athlete arrested for a suspected DUI. Fark: His license plate says SAUCED  (9news.com) (23)


Mon February 06, 2012
(My Northwest) Unlikely Amazon hopes to satisfy customers that enjoy long lines, crowded parking lots, and surly retail clerks  (mynorthwest.com) (28)
(Gizmodo) Amusing Gizmodo gives props to Fark for directing their attention to an uplifting story about an elevator rescue gone horribly wrong  (gizmodo.com) (1)
(Omaha World Herald) Spiffy Adding insult to injury, Will Ferrell's Super Bowl ad aired in only one market: Super Bowl loser Danny Woodhead's hometown of North Platte, NE  (omaha.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sex Week vs. True Love Week, otherwise known as the loose free for all's against the prudes sparks debate on Yale campus  (nbcconnecticut.com) (127)
(Sci Mag) Cool News: Scientists accidentally make a sheet of glass only three atoms thick, analyze its structure. Fark: It exactly matches a prediction made by a glass theorist in 1932  (news.sciencemag.org) (45)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Gisele Bundchen: "My husband can't throw and catch the farking ball"  (huffingtonpost.com) (289)


Sun February 05, 2012
(ESPN) Cool CAN the Giants shock the world again? WILL the Patriots avenge their defeat from four years ago? HOW MANY FARKers will succumb to alcohol poisoning this year? THIS is YOUR Super Bowl XLVI Discussion Thread. (Kickoff @ 6:30 EST on NBC)  (scores.espn.go.com) (∞)
(Some Guy) Interesting Is Facebook addictive? Of course not. That's just stupid... being addicted to a website. Like that could ever happen. Now, I have to go refresh TotalFARK a dozen times per minute to see if my latest submission was greenlit  (hlntv.com) (34)
(Chronicle of Higher Ed) Sad Not news: Baby tested for fear of rat, dog and monkey. News: Unafraid until accompanied by loud clang. Fark: He was probably autistic, and the shady research psychologists knew it. Ultrafark: The year was 1920  (chronicle.com) (39)
(Gothamist) Fail When working as a garage attendant, if you park a $400,000 Bentley it's probably best to take the keys with you. FARK: Bentley was owned by college student  (gothamist.com) (85)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy In development since 1994, self cooling cans may finally hit the market. You submitted this with the [cool] tag  (gizmodo.com) (57)
(New York Daily News) Hero Whatever: some writer proposes a headliner for the next Super Bowl halftime show. Fark: it's the one artist we all could agree on  (nydailynews.com) (92)
(WTSP) Florida Eight arrested for soliciting undercover male police officers in park include Denny's consultant. Maybe he shouldn't have asked for the "Sausage Slam?"  (wtsp.com) (93)


Sat February 04, 2012
(Inquisitr) Interesting "Mother Nature Network even made the front page of Fark, another indicator of a meme becoming increasingly viral." We're a positive influence, people. (3rd paragraph shoutout)  (inquisitr.com) (5)
(E! Online) Silly Joe Francis sends Madonna cease and desist letter concerning her "Girls Gone Wild" song. "Mr. Francis has worked tirelessly for an excess of two decades to build his brand and to protect his trademark Girls Gone Wild"  (eonline.com) (92)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Huffington Post gives its readers a chance to beat the scores of the FARK regulars in The Fark Weird News Quiz (link goes to the Easy version)  (huffingtonpost.com) (9)
(Stuff.co.nz) Ironic Driver of parking ticket "spy car" wins court order protecting him from photography  (stuff.co.nz) (58)
(NYPost) Asinine Having solved all other crimes, Staten Island cops now cracking down on the evil malcontents who park outside the lines  (nypost.com) (98)
(Statesman) Hero News: motorcyclist chases down DUI hit-and-run driver and hog-ties him with a belt. Texas: for the second time in 9 months. Fark: is recognized at the scene by the arresting police officer from the prior incident  (m.statesman.com) (115)
(hampton roads) Spiffy Hampton Roads (Virginia) thinks that their recent odd news deserves a dedicated FARK icon, just like Florida (10th paragraph)  (hamptonroads.com) (5)


Fri February 03, 2012
(Daily Mail) Fail "You put your naked supermarket burglar in my chocolate and peanut butter" -- "No, you put your chocolate and peanut butter on my naked supermarket burglar"  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Fark) Survey Fark Quiz time, you know the drill. Can you beat your score from last week?  (fark.com) (53)
(Telegraph) Scary Bad: You're repairing a yacht when it sets sail with you on board. Worse: It's going to Antarctica. Fark: The skipper's last trip there sank  (telegraph.co.uk) (140)
(The Daily Beast) Spiffy Study says Republicans have more orgasms, probably from farking 99% of the population  (thedailybeast.com) (124)
(Slate) Amusing Protip: Whenever a news story ends with a question mark, the answer is always "no". Case in point: "Is Bill Belichick quietly the NFL's best-dressed coach?"  (slate.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Asinine Fark ready headline "Christians Boycott Starbucks - Because Romans 1 Explains Starbucks Hates God"  (usachristianministries.com) (198)
(Wait, what?) Scary Advice: If you are Muslim, or even have a Muslim sounding name, don't text your co-workers and tell them to "Blow away" the competition. Fark: Especially if you are in Quebec  (thechronicleherald.ca) (54)
(NC Times) Followup Kim Dotcom to judge: "You have to grant me bail, your honor, because I'm receiving unwanted advances from all the female inmates." Judge: "You've got to be farking kidding me. DENIED"  (nctimes.com) (62)
(WAAY TV) Spiffy 'Liberal' leaning Fark gets mentioned in a WAAY TV story about Alabama State Senator Shadrack McGill and his controversial statements  (waaytv.com) (37)
(Fark) Survey Subby's looking for a new beer to try. I know you won't disappoint, Fark  (fark.com) (339)


Thu February 02, 2012
(DCist) Stupid Three Occupy DC protestors are on the fourth day of a "sleep strike" to protest the Park Police's ban on camping in McPherson Square and the bugs BURROWING UNDER THEIR SKIN  (dcist.com) (165)
(io9) Wheaton Wil Wheaton, Prince of Darkness  (io9.com) (45)
(With Leather) Cool With Leather gives points to Fark for drawing their attention to a story about "Glee" and the NFL  (withleather.uproxx.com) (1)
(Fox News) Followup Kelly Clarkson confirmed to sing the National Anthem at this year's Super Bowl. In long awaited reunion, Justin Guarini will sweep off the stage when Kelly is done  (foxnews.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Man arrested after attempting to move the vehicle blocking his car. News: It was an ambulance. Fark: Paramedics were loading it with a patient at the time  (y100.com) (76)
(Slate) Stupid So, what happens if Obama wins a second term? "We will sentence [our children] to take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness." Welcome to Derpaggedon  (slate.com) (118)
(The Province) Spiffy The Province finds FARK'S clever MMA headline to be the hit of the week  (theprovince.com) (0)
(Toronto Star) Followup After IPO filing, Facebook gets its ticker symbol. To the delight of Fark, Fb - is the choice  (thestar.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Cool NASA releases video of the dark side of the moon, which surprisingly syncs perfectly with the soundtrack to "The Wizard of Oz"  (geek.com) (50)
(USA Today) Obvious Charles Barkley: "I cannot believe how bad the NBA is." You and me both, Charles. You and me both  (content.usatoday.com) (73)
(Boomstick Comics) Cool A prequel to Jackie Brown is in our near future. Sam Jackson does not get eaten by a shark this time  (boomstickcomics.com) (59)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 352: "Go out and get some strange" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest  (farktography.net) (120)


Wed February 01, 2012
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting Repulsive gravity, previously thought by physicists to only emanate from your mom, may be key to understanding dark matter  (physorg.com) (55)
(Fark) FarkBlog Dinosaurs that can't hit a chip shot, a note from Epstein's mother, and the crisp, refreshing taste of donkey semen: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 1/22 - 1/28  (fark.com) (19)
(FanNation) Interesting John Elway says the Broncos are in the market for quarterbacks, would settle for having just one  (fannation.com) (86)
(E! Online) Dumbass After a rough night at Quark's, Captain Sisko beamed to jail for taking the helm of the Defiant while drunk  (eonline.com) (59)
(Buzzfeed) Cool These 21 amazing shadows will blow your mind. Bonus: No slideshow. Fark Bonus: Numbers 15 and 16  (buzzfeed.com) (38)
(news junkie post) Spiffy News Junkie Post: "Social news sites like FARK are places to post and discuss the latest headlines. They are the primary focal point for activism". (2nd section)  (newsjunkiepost.com) (0)
(LiveLeak) Amusing Old man decides his car needs a good cleaning after driving through the farmers market  (liveleak.com) (21)
(Seattle Times) Cool Seattle Times gives Fark a shout out for this gem. "How to avoid a concussion in an MMA fight. Step 1: Don't be in an MMA fight"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (1)


Tue January 31, 2012
(The Superficial) Amusing Reese Witherspoon responds to Justin Bieber's desire to remake Fear: "Would he be playing me, or is he playing Mark Wahlberg?" OH SNAP  (thesuperficial.com) (44)
(RedEye Chicago) Cool "Four South Side areas landed on AOL's dailyfinance.com list of the 25 most dangerous neighborhoods, which was posted Monday on Fark.com." We're always down with what happens in the streets, G  (redeyechicago.com) (3)
(Yahoo) Repeat The most polite "Fark you, you S.O.B." letter it's ever been subby's pleasure to read  (news.yahoo.com) (260)
(NJ.com) Obvious Lazy New Jerseyans don't like pumping their own gas or using parking meters where you have to walk back to your car to put the receipt in the windshield  (nj.com) (114)
(My Fox DC) Strange John thought he could casually walk into the supermarket, pour bleach on the chicken and pork, and slip out without anyone noticing. But something - SOMETHING - made him stand out (w/ mugshot goodness)  (myfoxdc.com) (121)
(Miami New Times) Florida "Newt Gingrish look like a hackler. He looks like he get on people's nerves just for the fark of it,'" and more insight on the Florida GOP primary from Miami strippers Skrawberry and Tip Drill  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (71)
(io9) Interesting From this day forward, we shall call the galaxy TotalFark  (io9.com) (12)
(MSNBC) Unlikely Study finds women are better at parking than men, but only because other cars on the street flee in terror at their approach  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Not news: Super Bowl stadiums. Fark: made of meat  (blogs.westword.com) (16)
(charlotte observer) Sad Made for Fark headline brought to you by North Carolina. "Cox indicted in Flying Biscuit Death"  (charlotteobserver.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sports news: Topps releases 2012 baseball card set. Fark : St Louis Cardinal Skip Schumaker was replaced by a squirrel  (inquisitr.com) (38)
(The Register) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: "Top RIM jobs were too powerful and had to go"  (theregister.co.uk) (3)
(ESPN) Amusing "...although there are some photos of Manning wearing the number 16... which we're guessing is some kind of FARK Photoshop prank to tease fans of the Buccaneers..." (5th section)  (espn.go.com) (1)
(Mother Nature Network) Strange Alaska gears up for a hostile takeover of Central Park  (mnn.com) (75)
(maine squash league) Spiffy Maine Squash League celebrates making the main page of FARK with a full page capture of the historic event  (mainesquashleague.com) (1)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Fark headline recipe: article about female teacher having sex with students (check), vodak (check), Not Sure if Want pic (check)  (dailymail.co.uk) (99)


Mon January 30, 2012
(SeattlePI) Amusing The Seattle Post-Intelligencer applauds Fark's headline about a woman's most unusual marriage  (blog.seattlepi.com) (3)
(Smh.com.au) Followup Facebook IPO predicted to raise $10 billion. Mark Zuckerberg immediately eyes 25 million new acres of fake farm land  (smh.com.au) (42)
(Short List) Unlikely News: Martin Scorsese pens angry op-ed piece bemoaning the lack of awards love for an actor from his latest film. Fark: Said actor is a Doberman named Blackie  (shortlist.com) (26)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Supermarket IDs woman buying pack of spoons, because spoons can be used to shoot heroin. With helpful instructions on how to prepare heroin with a spoon  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)
(News.com.au) Sad American insurance company is branching out to act like dicks in the international market  (news.com.au) (75)
(New York Daily News) Dumbass 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith can't be bothered to give a fark in his DUI arrest mugshot  (nydailynews.com) (29)


Sun January 29, 2012
(Bleacher Report) Spiffy Will Kane's Libertarian hate or John Cena's constipated face win the day? Will SHOOOOOOOW or Mizark squash Daniel Bryan like so many peas? Who will this years surprise entrants be? It's the 25th Royal Rumble, live on PPV at 8 PM ET  (bleacherreport.com) (lots)
(Wikipedia) Survey Parking Wars, Cupcake Wars, Storage Wars, etc... What kind of _____ "Wars" show would you want to see?  (en.wikipedia.org) (304)
(Winnipeg Sun) Spiffy Winnipeg Sun highlights the week's events and uses FARK's headline to show how Michael Jackson's kids are quickly growing up (2nd section)  (winnipegsun.com) (1)
(Fark) Sad I had to decide to stop the doctors from feeding my dad tonight. Want to say if you Farkers have dads-bad or good, call them and say, "Hello,"; it'll be important in the end  (fark.com) (427)

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