Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		As the new judge on "American Idol," Ellen DeGeneres is perfect for the job because "she doesn't judge people," says Portia de Rossi  (tvwatch.people.com)	(30)

Mitt Romney is pulling a Sarah Palin and going rogue  (blogs.reuters.com)

(102)

American Idol hopeful finds herself in the hospital, most likely from the shame of being on American Idol  (contactmusic.com)

(54)

A rundown of the Olympic Closing Ceremony, including everything NBC thought was less important than the Marriage Ref  (vancouver2010.blogs.nytimes.com)

(63)

Ellen DeGeneres is demanding a $150,000 wardrobe allowance on "American Idol" so that she can import the finest flannel shirts and pantsuits the world has to offer  (nydailynews.com)

(45)

"American Idol" does to the Winter Olympics what ice dancing does to the whole concept of "sports"  (thrfeed.com)

(14)

From the Don't Celebrate Too Soon Department: Paula Abdul may have left American Idol in order to be a judge on Simon Cowell's X-Factor  (contactmusic.com)

(14)

Conan O'Brien in talks to join "American Idol." Hasn't he suffered enough already?  (hollyscoop.com)

(43)

After her "Idol" debut, Ellen DeGeneres says Simon Cowell is "meaner than I thought." Yeah, because he comes across as such a sweetheart on TV  (news.yahoo.com)

(21)

America's #1 Attention Whore to replace Simon Cowell. Bababooie  (rollingstone.com)

(88)

(The Daily Swarm)		Blogger pays tribute to rock doc 'Decline of Western Civilization P2: The Metal years': "Some of these folks are hungry in more than just the figurative sense. A few even admit to being so broke that they date women for meals"  (thedailyswarm.com)	(18)
		Snooki gets booed on live TV, responds the only way she knows how (with vid)  (tmz.com)	(155)

		And she's buy-uy-ing a (license to record a cover of) Stairway To Heaven  (mtv.com)	(27)
		Nick Jonas says Bob Dylan can't sing, which is perfect because Nick Jonas can't write (with video)  (huffingtonpost.com)	(48)
		It's official: Even the head of Taylor Swift's label admits she can't sing  (news-briefs.ew.com)	(133)

		Twenty-six attempts by musicians to make familiar songs "edgy"  (avclub.com)	(165)
		Scott Brown's first task as Senator? Get Simon Cowell to put his daughter Ayla back on American Idol. Really  (eonline.com)	(48)

53 beauty queens ready to compete for the title of Miss America. No word on the missing four  (news.yahoo.com)

(42)

(Some Guy)

"God Hates Lady Gaga" - the douchebags at the Westboro Baptist Church parody "Poker Face." Yes, you read that correctly  (muckmakers.com)

(278)

Barney & Friends alum Erica Rhodes earned a golden ticket to Hollywood on Idol last night for her whip wielding dominatrix number. The judges thought she was super dee duper (video)  (bittenandbound.com)

(80)

		Reason #4,679 why owning a cat just flat-out sucks  (examiner.com)	(38)
		Even Katy Perry hates her music  (wwtdd.com)	(44)

(Access Hollywood)

The Hope for Haiti celebrity PR fest was viewed by 83 million people who wanted to see how chubby Leonardo DiCaprio is getting  (accesshollywood.com)

(26)

As we say goodbye to Triumph the Insult Dog, here are nine short video clips of Triumph doing what he does best  (msnbc.msn.com)

(50)

NBC paid Conan $32 million to leave. But that's better than the $150 million it would have cost to dump Leno. Who the hell is negotiating contracts over there, the Pants on the Ground Guy?  (nypost.com)

(77)

		Less than 48 hours after being elected, Huffington Post breaks huge scandal for Scott Brown as they unearth a photo of him with his daughters who are WEARING BIKINIS  (huffingtonpost.com)	(163)
		Amy Fisher to bare all for charity. It's a Buttafuocin time  (nypost.com)	(91)
		American Idol introduces Chicago by showing video of contestants swearing at the producers. Fark: The contestants were from Orlando  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(39)

		Submitter made it to a minute and a half, challenges anyone to do better  (boingboing.net)	(208)
		Madonna offers Adam Lambert advice on how to handle fame, notoriety  (contactmusic.com)	(18)

Final season of Lost promises to make fans more annoying than ever  (slashfilm.com)

(92)

Journey refuses to sell out their songs to Simon Cowell, which is by far the most tasteful thing they ever done  (thesun.co.uk)

(27)

(Deadline Hollywood)		Nothing like kicking the crap out of a nice guy who did nothing wrong: If Conan O'Brien doesn't play ball, NBC threatens to keep him off the air for more than 3 years  (deadline.com)	(134)
		Rocker Jay Reatard found dead. That you don't know who he is proves how cool I am  (stuff.co.nz)	(39)

		Hiker enjoys the peaks and valleys but will pine away in jail for showing off too much wood  (myfoxdc.com)	(54)
		American Idol contestant and daughter of Senate hopeful claims that her father's opponent put senate race in gutter. Simon Cowell disagrees, Paula thinks she looks great, and the other guy calls her "dawg", whatever that means  (news.bostonherald.com)	(91)

(Some Guy)		Coach Bob Knight: The Next American Idol?  (jockism.com)	(17)
(Some Guy)		Amish are exempt from Obamacare, American Idol premier. Lucky bastards  (watertowndailytimes.com)	(139)

		Fox bowed to Seth MacFarlane's delicate sensibilities and cut a joke from Sunday's "Simpsons" special. Which left the special with none  (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)	(118)
		Forget Leno, O'Brien and Letterman: where are the women on late night?  (communities.canada.com)	(122)

		McBoobs returns with another album of mediocrity. Still hopes to rack up sales  (cbsnews.com)	(38)
		Ellen DeGeneres claims to have no problem standing up to Simon Cowell, pee    (tv.yahoo.com)	(60)

FOX pulls episodes of 'Our Little Genius' over 'integrity' issues, recommends that viewers interested in watching child-like delivery of information via earpiece tune in to their news network instead  (news-briefs.ew.com)

(48)

		A candid interview with the two most powerful men in showbiz  (popwatch.ew.com)	(21)
		And so it begins: Poorly tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut Tila Tequila fights with Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips over Casey Johnson's dogs  (eonline.com)	(104)

The band of the decade? You know, from 2000 to 2009. You guessed it, The Beatles  (huffingtonpost.com)

(113)

Tracy Morgan seen bursting into sex shop hollering for some "motion lotion," rushed back into his waiting BMW  (nypost.com)

(59)

In a late attempt to win the award for Douchebag of the Year, Tommy Lee has asked for fans to play for him. But without pay  (new.music.yahoo.com)

(24)

"In a setback for U.S. interests in Central America, voters in Honduras elect, as their new president, Rod Blagojevich"  (miamiherald.com)

(47)

		Unless Fox gets more money from the cable company, cable customers won't be able to watch American Idol on cable TV. Subby fails to understand what the problem is  (orlandosentinel.com)	(130)
		Simon Cowell is quitting American Idol. At least, according to his brother, who heard it from his cousin who heard it from his wife who overheard someone talking about it at 31 Flavors last night  (contactmusic.com)	(26)

Viral campaign makes Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name of" the #1 single in Britain for Christmas, beating out Simon Cowell backed singer. Bad grandad of rock Billy Mack approves  (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)

(95)

		Least essential albums of 2009. U2, Bob Dylan and Beatles reissues strangely missing  (avclub.com)	(36)
		"Blige's willingness to bare her tortured inner self...has ensured her reign as the queen of hip-hop." And with a new album, American Idol stint, and a sunglasses/fragrance line coming, get ready for more torture  (usatoday.com)	(24)
		Asher Roth, a.k.a. The Gay Eminem, wants you to know that he's not gay  (mtv.com)	(21)

Brad Paisley inadvertently revealed that his tourmate Kellie Pickler had a boob job. Well, let's be honest, those would be the only two reasons anyone would attend one of their shows  (contactmusic.com)

(49)

Apparently Michael was the sanest Jackson: The Jackson family insists that "American Idol" called the wrong Randy Jackson by mistake  (content.usatoday.com)

(29)

(City Pages)

"Daughtry's 2007 debut album was the fastest selling rock album in Soundscan history. Hang on; let that sink in."  (blogs.citypages.com)

(47)

Billboard names Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" as the One Hit Wonder of the Decade, but they also manage to throw Gnarls Barkley onto the list. Yeah, about that  (music-mix.ew.com)

(59)

And subby thought he was the only one who thought "Boys and Girls in America" had the worst cover art evar  (avclub.com)

(39)

Will Ferrell wants to play Simon Cowell in a biopic of the talent show host's life. Well, at least we know he won't have to be funny  (contactmusic.com)

(25)

(NBC Sports)		Houston Texans announce that LB Brian Cushing's Twitter account is a fake even though it references his official web page which includes the exact same Twitter feed  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com)	(9)
		Smug, swaggering, mean middle-aged men such as Simon Cowell, Jeremy Clarkson, and Gordon Ramsay are fast becoming Britain's top cultural export to the world, thanks to their authenticity  (independent.co.uk)	(30)

(Some Guy)

Adam Lambert defends gay kiss, simulated fellatio, ghastly haircuts and similar Bowie-ripoff antics as attacks on the post-AIDS lesbian hegemony  (ktla.com)

(209)

This week on Nature Fight: woodpecker vs. snake. What's really going to bake your noodle later on is how'd the snake get up the tree  (collegehumor.com)

(40)

Vikings to Minnesota: "New stadium, or we leave." Minnesota: "Go then." California: "Did I mention we are building a stadium with purple seats?"  (wcco.com)

(113)