Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		If you think the Captain America casting is a clusterfark, well, you're right, but so were these other movies and they turned out alright, most of them at least  (cinematical.com)	(29)
		Gallup Poll: Americans actually wanted unicorns and rainbows  (gallup.com)	(44)
		Shane Magowan and the Pogues: Body of an American. Happy Saint Paddy's Day  (youtube.com)	(5)
		Another Limbaugh-inspired craze sweeps Real America: Mocking people with Parkinsons (video)  (dailykos.com)	(504)

(Some Comic Book Guy)		Latino Review gets a Marvel insider to give them all kinds of info on the Captain America, Thor and The Avengers movies. Caution: spoilerific  (latinoreview.com)	(22)
		If this is what they've sunk to, they should just scrap the whole Captain America movie and move on  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(67)
		"Modern British cooking feels more adventurous than a lot of American cooking." Why? Do they put ancho peppers and heirloom tomatoes in their spotted dick now?  (theatlantic.com)	(176)
		To Americans who don't fully grasp how popular Tim Hortons is in Canada, this pretty much sums it up  (torontosun.com)	(215)
		Mark Thiessen, not content with getting schooled on the Daily Show, gets his ass handed to him on NPR. Why does NPR hate America?  (npr.org)	(146)

		As the new judge on "American Idol," Ellen DeGeneres is perfect for the job because "she doesn't judge people," says Portia de Rossi  (tvwatch.people.com)	(30)
		Fox staffers claim that America's top crybaby, Glenn Beck, tears up on cue in rehearsal  (rawstory.com)	(151)
(Patriot Update)		"The media paint Tea Partiers as radical, but average Americans see through this bias" says the creator of the Dukakis/Willie Horton campaign ad  (patriotupdate.com)	(284)
(WTHR)		Filling out NCAA brackets will cost Americans $1.48 billion in lost productivity claims survey put out by the Department of Pulling Statistics Out of our Ass  (wthr.com)	(35)

		American Humanist Association pledges $20,000 for lesbian friendly prom. I said prom, not por--you've already clicked haven't you?  (examiner.com)	(174)
(AFA)		American Family Association: "Part of being an adult is learning to tolerate speech you don't like." Super Bowl Nipple unavailable for comment  (onenewsnow.com)	(99)

		This is literally why America can't have nice things  (gallup.com)	(136)
(Some Idoliot)		And the saga of the Pants on the Ground guy continues as his record label is su...I'm sorry, he has a record label? Goddammit, America, no wonder the terrorists hate us  (digitalspy.com)	(15)

		Just in case you needed more proof the Obama administration is Anti-American  (aolnews.com)	(117)
		Brietbart downgrades Tom Hanks' condition from "Un-American" to "Unhinged"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(101)
(Some Guy)		Step right up and claim your prize Cincinnati. You are the craziest city in America  (thedailybeast.com)	(123)
		Retail sales up again as Americans find it hard to contain their inner consumer whore  (washingtonpost.com)	(17)
(Some Nazi Casting Director)		"But how can you assemble the Avengers, Captain America, if you don't have a mouth?" Hugo Weaving to play Red Skull  (worstpreviews.com)	(46)
		Beck: Springsteen's 'Born in the USA' is 'anti-American,' 'propaganda'  (rawstory.com)	(202)
		Experts say that American doctors are over-testing and over-treating their patients. But how else will my kid get unlimited time on their SATs if I don't have them checked for Restless Leg Syndrome?  (aolnews.com)	(190)

		Americans strongly prefer Obama to Bush. That's Americans, not "Real Americans™"  (salon.com)	(227)
		Chris Evans and the Tron guy are now the frontrunners to portray Captain America. Well, at least we know Tron guy has a big package  (io9.com)	(36)
		"America's billionaires have not rebounded from the recession as strongly as other countries' billionaires." Won't somebody think of the American billionaires? Somebody???  (cnn.com)	(162)

		Guns N' Roses planning "secret" shows in South America. Which is good because I wouldn't want to be spotted at one of their shows either  (webn.com)	(15)
		Brazil delivers $829 million kick to the American economy's groin  (economist.com)	(92)
		Heroic blogger-patriot urges readers not to answer questions of race on the US Census, and to instead write in "American" and then demand that the MailCrat who delivered the census form recite the Pledge of Allegiance with you  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(315)
		Tasmanian devil is immune to cancer, still susceptible to its natural predator...the American snark bunny  (news.yahoo.com)	(23)

		Bank of America forecloses upon and seizes a home that is not in foreclosure. No, this is not a repeat. Again  (consumerist.com)	(58)
(Some Guy)		Windows kill up to 1 billion birds in North America each year. "I see no immediate reason why these figures would be erroneous"  (mnn.com)	(236)
		Many Americans say they're too tired for sex. But really, they're just not into you  (wellness.blogs.time.com)	(150)
		Victor Davis Hanson notes that one reason for American exceptionalism may be that we did not inherit from England "a large underclass of only quasi-free people attached to barons as serfs."  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(185)
		Dane Cook and the Jonas Brothers auditioned for Captain America roles? That's not even funny to joke about  (slashfilm.com)	(29)
		Half of Americans have less than 10K saved for retirement. Those who have more will no doubt be asked to share their pie  (money.cnn.com)	(781)
		Your papers, comrade? Bipartisan immigration reform plan proposed--national biometric ID card for all Americans  (online.wsj.com)	(308)
		A majority of Americans think they are less respected now than when Bush was feared by every neutral country in the world  (washingtontimes.com)	(94)
		"American tradition of zealous representation of unpopular clients is at least as old as John Adams' representation of the British soldiers charged in the Boston Massacre"  (washingtonpost.com)	(91)
(Some Eddie)		Iron Maiden announce the title of their new album. And reveal they are going on tour in North America  (nme.com)	(76)
		Prediction: Obama will ultimately win over Americans on health care. Stupid liberal FOX News reporters. Wait, what?  (foxnews.com)	(207)
		After Microsoft survived having its corporate testicles put in vise by American and European antitrust regulators for last 15 years, here come the Canadians  (vancouversun.com)	(20)

		Obama's regulators signal they are about to take on the most powerful companies in America, ones that maintain a chokehold on supplies of the most vital commodity in the US. No, not Big Oil; Big Food  (news.yahoo.com)	(85)
		Al Qaida calls on US muslims to attack America seeing as how they're a little too busy dodging predator strikes and military raids to do it themselves  (aolnews.com)	(294)

		Latin America's organic coffee growers surrender to American yuppie douchebag wannabes, who are increasingly unable to afford 40 percent markup over conventionally-grown coffee  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(26)
		American born Al Qaeda member, Adam Gadahn, may or may not have been arrested in Pakistan  (cnn.com)	(110)
		Obama's health care is "a bill granting every American a free federally delivered ice cream every Sunday morning." Why do Republicans hate ice cream?  (realclearpolitics.com)	(122)

		The most discriminated group in America. Is it African-Americans? Hispanics? Christians? Nope... it's the prancing poofters, of course  (news.yahoo.com)	(236)
		Brit tries to answer readers' burning questions about American TV cliches: do cops really eat doughnuts, how come women eat ice cream from the carton, what are those metal thingies in school hallways, and so on  (guardian.co.uk)	(150)

		73% of Americans say Obama is not black  (pewresearch.org)	(145)
		While we may not know who is playing Captain America or Spider-Man, we now know who is not playing them  (io9.com)	(43)
		Motion Picture Association of America's reasons for rating a film PG now include a smoking caterpillar  (myfoxdc.com)	(79)
		Palin-Americans get fired up about video by The Onion that touts Obama being caught lip-synching a speech  (dailykos.com)	(218)
		In a move sure to burnish its reputation as the toughest, most hardcore branch of America's armed forces, Navy fires captain for cursing out sailors and hurting their feelings  (time.com)	(295)

(Some Author)		An American editor of an Italian journal is sued by an Israeli author for running a negative review by a German about her book which was published in the Netherlands. Obviously, the trial will be held in France  (thebigquestions.com)	(53)
		Georgetown's Austin Freeman has diabetes. Of course he does. Look at him. A fat tub, never exercises. When will Americans learn?  (abcnews.go.com)	(40)
		Fresh off not reporting Tiger Woods' mistresses and poor course etiquette, Golf Writers Association of America hopes to report about John Daly's suspension after he tweeted member's cellphone number  (jacksonville.com)	(18)
		Bush's $760 billion tax cuts were passed via reconciliation, yet the media did not cover it like it was a gimmick, a nuclear explosion, or a forcible rape of American citizens  (mediamatters.org)	(414)
		American Cancer Society casts doubt on the value of the UFIA  (abcnews.go.com)	(88)

		Teach for America volunteers have been credited by Obama's education secretary as key to huge improvements in post-Katrina New Orleans schools. Naturally, the teachers' union in Detroit is fighting it tooth and nail  (detnews.com)	(63)
		What your children will learn in history class: "Single-term President Barack Obama sacrificed his second term to push Health Care through Congress for the benefit of the American people"  (reuters.com)	(392)
		Thanks, Congress. Toyota's now so desperate for customers it's offering 0 percent financing, and American car companies have to follow, eliminating all the interest they earn, and badly need, from financing loans  (theatlantic.com)	(109)
(Pharyngula)		Repent Amarillo is the American Taliban come to life. Sort of like if Fred Phelps and his clan had humvees and fatigues and went to funerals ready to kill the mourners, then wrote their license plates down to harass them later  (scienceblogs.com)	(306)
		No, America, you are not grown up enough to have a real economy. Adam Smith's invisible hand pimp slaps you for thinking otherwise  (businessweek.com)	(45)
		American Idol hopeful finds herself in the hospital, most likely from the shame of being on American Idol  (contactmusic.com)	(54)
		To meet the Obama administration's targets for cutting greenhouse gas emissions, Americans may have to experience gas at $7 a gallon. No comment from Al Gore, but he's looking a little nervous after hearing that  (dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com)	(618)

		"Patriot" Groups pose a larger threat to America than Al-Qaeda ever has. This is bad news, for Bill Belichick  (aolnews.com)	(155)
(Chronicle of Higher Ed)		The story of the rainbow trout in America, the government welfare fish that muscled its way into the nation's coldwater streams  (chronicle.com)	(111)
		For the past 20,000 years, human culture has been shaping our evolution. In another 20,000 years, expect future Americans to have an enormous tolerance for watery beer and bad reality shows  (nytimes.com)	(51)
		Poll shows that Americans have as much faith in an economic recovery right now as they have in Buzz Aldrin winning "Dancing With the Stars"  (rasmussenreports.com)	(110)
		While atheists have higher IQs in America, that's not because atheists are actually smarter, but that smart people are more likely to reject the status quo in most situations, and Christianity just happens to be dominant in America  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(177)

		TLC won't show the Miss America pageant anymore, mostly because it's tired of showing peoples in America maps everywhere like such as our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S  (weblogs.variety.com)	(58)
		Warren Buffett says healthcare costs are limiting America's economic growth. But what does he know, stupid liberal  (news.yahoo.com)	(141)
		Top 10 things you might not know about Matt Damon. Sadly that wasn't his voice in Team America  (abcnews.go.com)	(61)
		Pew report shows Americans 'graze' news. Pew Pew Pew  (pcmag.com)	(51)
(sportsmediawatch)		The US/Canada game outdrew the World Series, NBA finals, and NCAA basketball finals. But yeah, Americans don't care about hockey  (sportsmediawatch.blogspot.com)	(325)
		Barack Obama extends Patriot Act for one year, liberating Americans from the burden of privacy  (blogs.villagevoice.com)	(262)
		Christopher Hitchens: "For a few hours at least, the United States of America appeared to be - and actually was - a pathetic banana republic"  (network.nationalpost.com)	(48)

(TriCities.com)		American Taliban: Group hands out leaflets to women dressed "provocatively", blaming them if they get raped  (www2.tricities.com)	(495)
		Doctor says Obama has high cholesterol, finally proving to the Birthers that he is American    (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(104)
		The cost of doing nothing on Health Care = America bankrupt by 2020. Republicans finally announce their candidate. Mad Max 2012  (mercurynews.com)	(120)
		Listen to the background chatter cease and the room fall silent after President Obama asks health care summit attendees to consider what life is like for Americans who are not rich politicians (video)  (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)	(462)
		Why are cities across America shortening the lengths of yellow lights? One guess people, one guess  (alternet.org)	(146)
		"On Feb 3rd, National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair, in open testimony before the House intelligence committee, acknowledged that American citizens can be assassinated at our government's discretion" Ron Paul  (liveleak.com)	(111)

		A review of The Crazies as only Breitbart can, complete with a rant on the film industry, which is "anti-American, anti-troop, anti-Bush, anti-Southern, and anti-anything that isn't elitist Blue State and all things Meterosexual"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(124)
		63% of Americans think that reality television shows have gotten worse over the past decade. The rest of us realize they pretty much sucked when they started  (news.yahoo.com)	(48)
		You know why Americans are misinformed? Because the media lies to us and no one does anything about it  (crooksandliars.com)	(157)
		Majority of Americans believe government is a threat to citizen rights. Tea Party on, pinkoes  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(193)
(Some Guy)		Fort Worth cops believe that gays and Mexican-Americans are more likely to be intoxicated in bars than other people  (motherjones.com)	(166)
		Trent Frank (R-AZ): "Far more of the African American community is being devastated by the policies of today than were being devastated by policies of slavery."  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(388)

		After handing the American women their asses, Canadian Women's hockey team gets the gold medal in "how to celebrate your gold medal"  (cbc.ca)	(253)
		60% of Americans prefer socialism  (cnn.com)	(622)

		The casting for the upcoming Captain America movie, which the director said he wanted done by March 1st, has become a complete and total clusterfark  (chud.com)	(84)
		Democrats need to stop whining about GOP filibuster threats. "Besides, has a filibuster ever prevented eventual enactment of anything significant that an American majority has desired, strongly and protractedly?"  (nypost.com)	(92)
		Poll shows that Americans think China will soon dominate the world economy, echoing polls in the 1990s when we were convinced we'd all be speaking Japanese and eating live baby octopuses  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(53)

		Obama administration arrests, Mirandizes, prosecutes in the civilian system, gets guilty plea from a dangerous terrorist in a triumph of the American justice system. Republican response: Not a single word  (mediamatters.org)	(172)
(Pew Pew Pew)		Support for labor unions among Americans, which was as high as 58 percent in 2007, is down to 41 percent. A spokesman for unions is expected to respond after his break    (people-press.org)	(134)
		The Del-Lords, who basically started the Americana movement 25 years ago, reunite for an unannounced show in NYC. With Video Proof. Eat your heart out Uncle Tupelo  (youtube.com)	(30)
		2/3 of Americans think that the Republicans in Congress are not doing enough to cooperate with President Obama, according to an new national poll that was obviously produced by the liberal, Obama-loving media  (cnn.com)	(236)
		The good news is that the collapse of Europe won't affect America at all. The bad news is that it will affect America because we sell these people things. Yes, there will probably be another war. Thanks for asking  (bloomberg.com)	(78)

		PCWorld finds AT&T has America's fastest 3G network. You submitted this from your iPhone but the connection dropped seven times  (pcworld.com)	(90)
		Obama starts process of bringing Japan's bullet-train system to America, based on fact that it's tried-and-true technology, has never crashed, and is greener than cars. "U.S. bullet trains would probably require larger seats"  (search.japantimes.co.jp)	(357)
		Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-on'tloveamerica) caught on tape laughing at a suggestion that the Pledge of Allegiance be recited  (foxnews.com)	(339)
		Gallup Poll: 4 in 5 Americans have 6-digit salary executive positions and supermodel girlfriends  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com)	(66)
(Some Guy)		Judge refuses to block release of Jersey Shore DVD box set, hates America  (app.com)	(21)
		Steve King (R-eally loves terrorism): Terrorist attacks against government agencies are understandable because the IRS is un-American  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(174)
		Six years later and we are still talking about a 1 second look at Janet Jackson's nipple. Thanks for having your priorities straight, America  (foxnews.com)	(212)
		Thirty-five percent of Americans don't get broadband because it's too expensive, and 20 percent of them are "worried about all the bad things that can happen if I use the Internet" even though they never clicked on 4chan  (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(111)
		Stifler talks about playing Stifler again: "As much as I want to do a part like Christoph Waltz in 'Inglourious Basterds,' I did 'American Pie' three times and then versions of that in ten other movies"  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(81)
		Now that American Evan Lysacek won a gold medal for men's figure skating, he thought it would be a good time to let everyone know he is a dating a gymnast. A female gymnast. Not that there would be anything wrong if he wasn't  (nbcolympics.com)	(71)

		Hitler reacts to the Canadian defeat by the Americans  (youtube.com)	(73)
		David Cross stars in "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret", a TV show so funny, you just know it won't be shown in America. Here's the first episode, in all its not-safe-for-work-language glory  (examiner.com)	(135)

		Unemployed Americans breakfasting on Egg McNothing  (washingtonpost.com)	(261)
		Chapter 9 no longer limited to your deadbeat neighbors. Cities look for an easy way out in this great American story  (finance.yahoo.com)	(62)
(Some Guy)		America ranked laziest country in the wor    (newser.com)	(225)
		Own the Podium? "It looks more like American athletes are renting it for a month"  (nytimes.com)	(69)
		Canadian medalist apologizes for cheering like an American  (ca.sports.yahoo.com)	(54)

		Poll indicates that most Americans oppose Obama's health reform - until they learn what's actually in it. In other words, the wharrgarbl is working  (newsweek.com)	(585)
		American snowboarder voluntarily leaves Olympic village early after pictures surface of a kneeling woman kissing his halfpipe medal. No, that wasn't a euphemism  (sports.yahoo.com)	(42)
		Nigerian banks are suffering a severe credit crunch. Soon they will be sending mass emails out to long lost American, and European relatives to improve their bank routing information  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(8)
		Fark: Hockey in danger of being removed from the Olympics due to dominance by America. Not News Anymore: It's Women's Hockey  (olympics.fanhouse.com)	(73)

		Ahhh, CPAC. Where flying planes into government buildings full of American citizens is simply hilarious  (wonkette.com)	(125)
(Defense News)		American military gets its thumb drives back. U-S-B, U-S-B, U-S-B    (defensenews.com)	(98)
(CNNGo)		American schools are finally using math teaching methods from Asia, which involve gambling with polar bears, according to pic  (cnngo.com)	(64)
		Ellen DeGeneres is demanding a $150,000 wardrobe allowance on "American Idol" so that she can import the finest flannel shirts and pantsuits the world has to offer  (nydailynews.com)	(45)
		Vulture Capitalist Carl Icahn buys $2 billion casino for $105 million. Welcome to Obama's America  (reuters.com)	(46)
		List of America's most miserable cities is in and - Whaaaa? - Detroit is not number 1?  (realestate.yahoo.com)	(248)

		Las Vegas mayor snubs Obama for his arrogant remarks suggesting Americans might be better off saving their money instead of investing it in blackjack, booze, bimbos and blow  (foxnews.com)	(247)
		80s movie reboots are so last year, let's do 90s movie reboots, starting with American Pie  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(82)
		The top 400 families in America earned an average of $345 million in income last year, up 31% from the year before. That's half the total that the bottom 25 million Americans made  (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(864)

		Local Italian-American group puts the pressure on organizers of a mafia-themed charity fundraiser, saying it's offensive to them  (mysuncoast.com)	(60)
		Americans don't agree on much else, but 80% of Americans, Democrats and Republicans alike, agree that the current Supreme Court is a bunch of citizen-hating corporate whores  (news.yahoo.com)	(106)
		"American Idol" does to the Winter Olympics what ice dancing does to the whole concept of "sports"  (thrfeed.com)	(14)
		And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply...oh or arrogant Americans  (foxnews.com)	(151)
		Bad Lieutenant, the band formed from the ashes of New Order (minus the dickish and pompous Peter Hook) have finally gotten their visas and will tour America later this year  (contactmusic.com)	(32)
		"We don't want people interfering with the process, because that's not American."  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(87)
		Radio program This American Life will reveal a "huge, groundbreaking investigative piece of journalism" that will only be of interest to hipsters and urbanites who can properly use the word "irony"  (latimes.com)	(108)
		Poll: Americans are the most attractive people in the world. USA USA USA  (telegraph.co.uk)	(497)
		Who killed Chandra Levy? If you answered Gary Condit, like most Americans who read the news, the man actually on trial for her murder doesn't want you on his jury  (wtop.com)	(194)
(B&C.com)		Survey says 1/3 of Americans don't use the intertubes, pull themselves up by their bootstraps  (broadcastingcable.com)	(54)

		Americans on health care bill: Can we just scrap it and start over with a new one? White House: Yes we can  (prescriptions.blogs.nytimes.com)	(368)
		Why does Democratic Congressman Keith Ellison refuse to meet with the man who called him "more dangerous to American values than terrorist attacks?" What are you trying to hide Mr. Ellison?  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(86)
		Just 6 percent of Americans think the $787 billion stimulus plan created jobs, despite economists saying the streets are now overflowing with smiling widgetmakers without a care in the world  (thehill.com)	(144)

		From the Don't Celebrate Too Soon Department: Paula Abdul may have left American Idol in order to be a judge on Simon Cowell's X-Factor  (contactmusic.com)	(14)
		Chris Pine to play Captain America? I'm sorry I can't hear you over how awesome that sounds  (movies.ign.com)	(94)
		Oh great. Now Obama's KIDS are endangering America  (dailykos.com)	(175)
		Under the miles of white powder, Bolivia has another export that should really energize Americans  (boston.com)	(36)
		If you wondered why Americans are so overweight, it might be because french fries are cheaper than Prozac  (theregister.co.uk)	(60)
(Some Guy)		WaPo: Don't donate to Wyclef's charity. MSM: Donate to American Red Cross. ARC: We seem to have misplaced $175 million  (fwix.com)	(118)
		English Premier League, beloved by sport snobs for determining champion without American-style knockout postseason, plans to award final UEFA Champions League berth to winner of American-style 4-team knockout playoffs  (guardian.co.uk)	(84)
		Old and Busted: "Everything will go back to normal when banks lend to small businesses." New Hotness: "Business owners won't take readily available loans because they don't believe America will recover."  (courant.com)	(108)

		We're finally No. 1 in an irrelevant sport as U.S. boat wins back the America's Cup. Now if we can only win Olympic curling gold  (courier-journal.com)	(46)
		A record 38.2 million Americans now rely on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, Oh SNAP  (guardian.co.uk)	(191)
		So, it turns out Wall Street didn't just fleece us hard-working Americans, they raped and pillaged half of Europe. This can only end well  (nytimes.com)	(61)
		President Obama is sending coded messages to his terrorist buddies that it's safe to come and attack America. Time to start learning the Islam language  (townhall.com)	(271)

(Some Guy)		Let's get America smoking again to fight obesity  (maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com)	(139)
		GOP strategy: Tie up Senate to make Americans sick of Congress so they will elect more Republicans. And it just might work  (dailykos.com)	(114)
		95% of working Americans got a tax cut, but you just have to explain to them in small words  (cbsnews.com)	(189)
		New poll shows Americans consider Tea Party movement a fruitless mix of racism, conspiracy theories  (foxnews.com)	(124)
		Dumbass: Bank of America sued for foreclosing on the wrong house. Asinine: The third time they've repo'ed the wrong house. Stupid: They refuse to pay for damages other than changing the locks  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com)	(81)
		"The Hills" star Lauren Conrad has scored her second New York Times bestseller. Oh, for fark's sake America  (starpulse.com)	(31)

		Americans form a huge line at the Buffett  (finance.yahoo.com)	(13)
		Swine flu made 57 million Americans ill, and 243 million sick of hearing about it  (news.yahoo.com)	(151)
		Captain American comic features anti-tax group that has no black members. For some reason, the Tea Party is pissed  (news.yahoo.com)	(81)
		Majority of Americans want filibuster gone, but lack filibuster proof majority  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(229)
(Some Sailor)		America's Cup Race 1 discussion thread  (bmworacleracing.com)	(108)
		Poll shows that 70% of Americans support gays and lesbians in the military. However, only 59% support homosexuals in the military. Non-homosexual gay and lesbian soldiers rejoice    (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com)	(233)

		Why do Americans vote France the #1 place to live? (France's) tiresome bureaucracy and high taxes are outweighed by an unsurpassable quality of life, including the world's best health care  (cnn.com)	(243)
(The Star Press)		Remember how the Democrats in Congress would say that raising the minimum wage would help Americans and actually create jobs? Um, yeah, about that  (thestarpress.com)	(180)
		Americans are represented by two separate but equally different political parties: the democrats who advocate liberalism, and the republicans who have Michael Moriarty claiming John McCain is a secret democrat. This is his latest whargarrbl  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(46)
(pitch.com)		Study reveals the ideal man of Harlequin romance readers: a jet-setting international all-American billionaire fireman  (blogs.pitch.com)	(44)
		America's largest companies are sitting on $1.19 trillion in cash rather than hiring new workers and spurring economic growth. Scrooge McDuck approves  (bloomberg.com)	(160)
		"Jaws" screenwriter Carl Gottlieb wins prestigious honor from the Writers Guild of America. You're gonna need a bigger mantle  (contactmusic.com)	(9)
		Bill Nye says that denying climate change is unpatriotic. Like America cares what some guy who couldn't carry Mr. Wizard's beaker cares  (newsbusters.org)	(388)
		Conan O'Brien in talks to join "American Idol." Hasn't he suffered enough already?  (hollyscoop.com)	(43)
		American Airlines takes the only excessive step left in the fee wars, charging $50 extra to fill an empty seat  (chron.com)	(64)

(Some Guy)

Dennis Kucinich urges America to adopt single-payer healthcare, quit stealing his Lucky Charms  (washingtonindependent.com)

(207)

(Some shower hog)

American "Family" Association claims gays showering with straights creates "hostile work environment" for military. Getting shot at apparently doesn't qualify as "hostile" enough  (afa.net)

(309)

		Good News: Chrysler to spend $550 million to build a massive new car factory in North America that will create 1,200 new jobs. Bad News: Mexico is technically part of North America  (news.yahoo.com)	(70)
(Some Guy)		New Captain America comic focuses on hunting down racist, white male tea partiers  (publiusforum.com)	(423)
		21 years of service means shiat in the new economy. Bank Of America can't stop itself from screwing even its own ex-employees on their mortgages  (consumerist.com)	(59)
(Sports Media Watch)		It's official: Saints/Colts Super Bowl is most watched TV program in American history, dethroning finale of "M*A*S*H" with humongous 45.0 national rating  (sportsmediawatch.blogspot.com)	(197)
		Why does this generation of American folk singers refuse to speak out against the things right-wing bloggers want them to speak out against?  (pajamasmedia.com)	(100)
(Some Skipper)		Greatest sporting event of the year begins in just a couple hours. Yes, it's America's Cup time  (americascup.com)	(25)

		Bulgarian immigrant granted US citizenship in 1981 told she has "never been an American." You'd think with looks like that, they would have given in to her  (chicagotribune.com)	(188)
		Captain America's dorky outfit explained in new movie: He's now a USO performer for the troops  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(105)
		Vancouver, British Columbia, the one place on the North American continent that actually needs lots of snow this February, is having its warmest winter since 1937 and needs snow trucked in  (abcnews.go.com)	(40)

		Almost half of Americans believe global swine flu epidemic is over. In other news, almost half of Americans believe there was a global swine flu epidemic  (boston.com)	(115)
		Al-Winter launches a successful first strike on America's Heartland. WE'RE DOOMED  (cnn.com)	(290)
		America's #1 Attention Whore to replace Simon Cowell. Bababooie  (rollingstone.com)	(88)
		So when they U.S. military recruits America's best and brightest, it looks like they don't focus on getting the brightest  (manofest.com)	(50)

		New Gallup poll shows that 36% of Americans, including 53% of Democrats and 61% of liberals, view socialism positively  (gallup.com)	(213)
		Because you're American, and you haven't had your requisite daily dose of self-loathing, CNN helpfully explains why the Super Bowl is no big deal internationally  (cnn.com)	(156)
		Most Americans want a "do-over" on health reform, suffer from delusion that they have any control over it and that it would turn out at all different  (foxnews.com)	(54)
(Some Chick)		Woman in Ft. Worth upset with the state of the country show her distress by flying the American flag upside down on a 60' pole at her business. "It is an outcry of the danger our country is in."  (kbtx.com)	(181)
		Democrats 2008: Enlighted Americans have wisely chosen hope and change. Democrats 2010: Americans are evil morons  (article.nationalreview.com)	(156)
(rbs6Nations.com)		Yes, yes, yes America. We know you have your grand advertising extravaganza on Sunday evening. But before then there is the beginning of the 6 Nations with Ireland v Italy, England v Wales and Scotland v France - no helmets or pads allowed  (rbs6nations.com)	(147)

		Former CEO of Bank of America charged with fraud, $39 overdraft fee, $10 notification fee, $25 low balance fee, and $7 loss fee    (msnbc.msn.com)	(71)
		The CBO takes a look at the House GOP's "Roadmap for America's Future" -- "The Roadmap would put the federal budget on a sustainable path, generating an annual budget surplus of about 5 percent of GDP by 2080."  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(180)
		Enjoy your organic melamine: Since fewer than 1 percent of American farms are certified organic, many food companies have to import organic ingredients from China  (online.wsj.com)	(84)
		No, Obama is not going to do any more British parliament-style open question forums for congressmen, because it makes too much sense and is too informative to the American public, and they're not ready for that  (huffingtonpost.com)	(88)

		Having nailed every bar slut in Hollywood, John Mayer focuses his sights on America's sweetheart Taylor Swift  (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(78)
		Bankrupt progressive radio network Air America still owes money to some of its on-air personalities, who may in turn be unable to pay their dealers, yoga instructors, and vegan co-ops  (mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com)	(186)
		An "American Psycho" play with music by Phil Collins, Whitney Houston and Huey Lewis? "Really, what could be more subversive fun than murderous bankers breaking into song?"  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(41)
		Scientists warn of an upcoming Lulz-quake of epic proportions as the Tea-baggers prepare to release their "crowd-sourced" party platform, to be entitled the "Contract From America"  (news.yahoo.com)	(352)
(The Trumpet)		America has reached a fork in the road: Raise interest rates to attract foreign investment and keep the economy afloat, expanding the abyss of debt. Either that, or kill the Dollar to pay the bills. Choose one. The time has come  (thetrumpet.com)	(132)

Miss Florida, fresh from her Miss America 2010 defeat, sets her sights on next failure: Becoming Mrs. Tim Tebow  (clickorlando.com)

(64)

		People in Colorado are starving because they can't get their food stamps on time. With picture of what a starving American looks like  (denverpost.com)	(474)
(Some History Guy)		Seven myths about the American Revolution you probably never thought to ask  (smithsonianmag.com)	(224)
(Some Dwight)		Ricky Gervais confirms he will make a guest appearance on the superior American version of The Office  (digitalspy.com)	(127)
		Joe Johnston, director of "The First Avenger: Captain America," sits down an reassures fans that the movie will start off during WWII and thankfully skip the 60's and 70's storylines  (cinematical.com)	(79)
		50 years after four African-American students sat down at a segregated lunch counter in a Greensboro, North Carolina Woolworth's store, one question remains. What's a Woolworth?  (myfoxdc.com)	(265)
		In Britain, homeopathy is taken so seriously that the national health service pays for homeopathic "medicines" and there are five homeopathic hospitals. And Brits think Americans are dumb?  (guardian.co.uk)	(191)
		Scott Brown's first task as Senator? Get Simon Cowell to put his daughter Ayla back on American Idol. Really  (eonline.com)	(48)

		A Montana family responds to criticism and harassement for flying their American flag upside down to indicate our country is in a "state of emergency."  (billingsgazette.com)	(178)
		England is basically the pathetic stalky "friend" of America who will one day snap, threaten America with a knife and end up getting buggered in jail by a swarthy continent sporting a teardrop tattoo  (cracked.com)	(200)
		The WTF video of the day. A band named Stump singing about and to over half the women in America  (youtube.com)	(21)

(The Beast)		The 50 most loathsome Americans of 2009. We may disagree with some of the choices, but the fellow at Number 1 has definitely earned it  (buffalobeast.com)	(357)
		TSA launches internal investgation over assignment board with "Jeopardy" categories such as "our gang" (meaning African Americans), "pickle smokers" (gays). No word on who was assigned The Rapists or Anal Bum Covers  (cnn.com)	(132)
		53 beauty queens ready to compete for the title of Miss America. No word on the missing four  (news.yahoo.com)	(42)
		Republican to Obama: I hate you. You lie. You're turning America into a socialist state. But can i have your autograph?  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Only 32% Of Americans Know The Senate Bill Did Not Get Bipartisan Support  (fdlaction.firedoglake.com)	(32)
		Russia threatened to nuke America if Henry Paulson didn't bail out Fannie and Freddy. Or, so he'd like you to believe  (reason.com)	(23)
		"Why do people often vote against their own interests?" Democrat African-Americans and gay Republicans unavailable for comment  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(118)

		China threatens to cut America's allowance for selling $6.4 Billion of "f*ck China" to Taiwan  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(78)
		Miss America Live says that "Rush Limbaugh has exceptionally impressive fist pumping skills"  (politico.com)	(41)

		Think us Americans are particularly generous? Well, in terms of giving money to Haiti, we're less generous than Ghana and China  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(325)
		America's most prestigious colleges lost their shirts investing in stocks in 2008. For 2009 they invested with private equity. Guess what happened?  (nytimes.com)	(59)
		Chicago is cancelling their 3rd of July fireworks show. THAT IS UNAMERICAN. WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT THE FOURTH OF JULY...oh, I see  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(67)

(KITV)		Retired WWII veteran from Hawaii lets Obama know how he really feels. Article to the left, condescending and unamerican drivel to the right  (kitv.com)	(477)
		Sensing an opportunity, Hillary Clinton says she won't serve two terms as Secretary of State and will have plenty of time from 2012 on if America wants her to do, you know, stuff  (politico.com)	(61)
		Rep. John Boehner (P-atriot) protects America from Obama bin Laden's terrorist buddies. Better luck next time, Al Qaeda  (foxnews.com)	(189)
		Oh, my. Excerpts from the book by John Edwards' staffer: "Edwards would confide in him about how he thought about leaving 'crazy' Elizabeth, but how she plays better with American voters than he"  (blogs.wsj.com)	(146)
		Press secretary Gibbs says "The president is going to explain why he thinks the American people are angry and frustrated," He will then point at 535 people seated in front of him, then at himself  (abcnews.go.com)	(283)

		Salvador Cabanas, leading striker for Paraguay and Club America, in critical but stable condition after shooting. Proving once again that soccer is still a bloodsport  (latimes.com)	(17)
		New poll in California reveals that only 42% of Republicans in state believe Obama was born in America, meaning 58% are apparently drooling retards  (sacbee.com)	(200)
		The mystery of "Ellie Light," the pro-Obama letter writer who apparently lives simultaneously in 60 cities across America, has been solved. And she's just an average, well-meaning moran  (politico.com)	(96)
		Brits baffled by American love of gaudy land yachts (with pic of what a European RV might look like)  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(190)
		Washington to deport two native-born Americans to China to be a part of a forced breeding program  (gawker.com)	(41)

		The 2010 America's Cup just took a turn for the awesome as officials throw out the rulebook and allow contestants to submit boats that look like . . . well, something out of 2010  (popsci.com)	(54)
		43% of Americans tuned in to Yesterday's game to watch Brett Favre fail  (variety.com)	(83)
		Jay Leno was America's number one TV personality. Now he's third. Oprah is first. Bill O'Reilly is tenth, and would be second if not for a vast left-wing conspiracy against him  (blogs.orlandosentinel.com)	(67)
		To all those Europeans laughing at us Americans for the Toyota recalls? Welcome to the party  (foxbusiness.com)	(43)

Tea sales rise in Britain for first time in four decades, driven by young women rejecting expensive American chain-coffee and returning to comfort of the traditional cuppa  (news.scotsman.com)

(121)

New study shows Venezuela twice as dangerous to America's way of life than previously thought  (news.bbc.co.uk)

(73)

		Judge rules that the NSA can't be sued because they violated the rights of too many Americans  (theregister.co.uk)	(64)
		Fifty-five percent of Americans support putting the brakes on health care reform in order to obtain a compromise with Republicans, while 40 percent think Democrats should instead throttle up and just make the impending trainwreck happen already  (gallup.com)	(415)
		I personally believe that these U.S. Americans don't HAVE maps. The Iraq, such as  (tv.yahoo.com)	(54)
		"The US economy is a system where you socialize the losses and privatize the gains, which is not capitalism," says the America-hating professor who obviously doesn't know the first thing about economics  (cnbc.com)	(165)
(Some Tribune)		Five Latin American/Caribbean nations lost significant amounts of economic freedom in 2009. This is bad news... for a Bahaman  (tribune242.com)	(15)

		How are Americans celebrating Brown's win? According to the BBC, with finger snaps and chicken dances  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(29)
		Anthony Hopkins is also a talented painter. Works include rural landscapes, childlike portraits, scenes of disemboweled Charles Napier hanging Christlike from iron cage with American flag bunting  (guardian.co.uk)	(53)
(Some Non-Hipster Musicians)		Vampire Weekend have the number one bestselling album in America, proving lots of people give a fark about an Oxford comma  (digitalspy.co.uk)	(48)
		Say hello to the All-American Basketball Alliance, a professional basketball league where "Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league."  (ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com)	(106)
		American Idol introduces Chicago by showing video of contestants swearing at the producers. Fark: The contestants were from Orlando  (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(39)

America's Gayest City? Well, that peach can symbolize a lot of things, I guess  (ajc.com)

(308)

81% of Americans want legal weed  (abcnews.go.com)

(504)

Canadian TV makes its decision on what to air in Leno's old primetime slot, chooses "Chuck," "Parenthood," "Ugly Betty," and some CanCon crap you've never heard of. Your move, America  (hollywoodreporter.com)

(67)

		If the GOP wins the Massachussetts Senate seat, it will not only be a vindication of the nihilistic and destructive strategy of obstructionism, but it will be final proof that the American people don't deserve to keep their republic  (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(533)
		Whether to hit "debit" or "credit" when you swipe your debit card, Visa and Mastercard will win either way. Oligopoly, the new American Way  (nytimes.com)	(124)
		Is the American economy is destined to fail?  (examiner.com)	(239)
		Texting 90999 to donate to the American Red Cross to support Haiti operations? You could probably swim there with a ten dollar bill and get it to them faster  (online.wsj.com)	(112)

		Further proof that Japanese TV is farking weird, but still better than anything you'll see on a major primetime reality show in America  (liveleak.com)	(32)
		The majority of Americans would vote against Obama if the 2012 election were held today. This is bad news...for Obama  (hotlineoncall.nationaljournal.com)	(200)
(dark horizons)		Karate Kid remake starring Will Smith's son scored second-highest test screening score in Sony's history. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE, AMERICA  (darkhorizons.com)	(88)
		English football and African football precede American football today. Its your EPL and Africa Cup of Nations discussion thread  (news.bbc.co.uk)	(76)

		Two hunters try to quack into America's only nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant, hilarity enthues  (telegraph.co.uk)	(64)
		Karl Rove: Americans learned last year that President Obama discards campaign promises like most people discard used Kleenex  (online.wsj.com)	(213)
		Thirty-eight years ago today, American Pie began its four-week stint in the number one position on the charts. No matter how many times you've heard it, you'll still listen  (youtube.com)	(67)
(Details)		Meet America's first legal male prostitute. He apparently sees similarities between himself and Rosa Parks  (details.com)	(159)

		Quebec Premier, "noting that the Quebec-based Cirque du Soleil and Céline Dion have made their mark in the U.S. market," vows to forge broader ties with America  (montrealgazette.com)	(43)
		Famed conservative economist displays his mental gymnastics while explaining that America never suffered through a housing bubble or irrational investing behavior. Even the Chinese judge gives him a 10 (at 3% interest)    (newyorker.com)	(71)
		Globally, auto companies make 30 million more cars than demand requires, in part because while American companies can close plants, European firms are paid by the government not to  (finance.yahoo.com)	(27)
		Johnny Cash's final album in his "American" series to be released in February, but he'll always be around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around  (blogs.chron.com)	(10)

		American aid worker trapped in the rubble of her house after the Haitian earthquake has been saved-by her husband. Which means he can leave his dirty socks anywhere he damn well pleases from now on  (abcnews.go.com)	(176)
		American Idol contestant and daughter of Senate hopeful claims that her father's opponent put senate race in gutter. Simon Cowell disagrees, Paula thinks she looks great, and the other guy calls her "dawg", whatever that means  (news.bostonherald.com)	(91)

		Sarah Palin to address Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America convention in April, appear in Republicans Gone Wild video in May  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(241)
		On this day in 1974, the number one song in America was Steve Miller Band's The Joker. Come and speak of the pompatous of love  (youtube.com)	(71)
(Some Guy)		Coach Bob Knight: The Next American Idol?  (jockism.com)	(17)
		Obama's first year in office: 48 percent of Americans think "miserable failure" needs a new Google bomb, 47 percent say he spent 12 months bestriding the country as a shimmering colossus  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(165)
		Eighty-seven percent of Americans oppose an Internet computer in a car's dashboard. The other 13 percent think that life without constant access to Russian midget tranny porn is just not worth living  (rasmussenreports.com)	(53)
(Some Guy)		Amish are exempt from Obamacare, American Idol premier. Lucky bastards  (watertowndailytimes.com)	(139)
		Rarely seen 400-year old map puts China at the center of the world and shows the Americas off in the corner  (myfoxdc.com)	(126)
		Al Qaeda succeeded in its real aim, which was to throw the American system into turmoil  (newsweek.com)	(280)
		"African Americans for Harry Reid" event scheduled for later this week. Awkward  (washingtonscene.thehill.com)	(169)

		"Barack Obama has spent the last year doing bigtime Islamoschmoozing, and they sent America a thank-you note by way of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's underwear: Hey, thanks for all the outreach But we're still gonna kill you."  (article.nationalreview.com)	(224)
		America by the numbers: We commit suicide less than other countries. We spend less on food but are really fat. And the average man has only boffed 5 women, and he's lying about 3 of them  (washingtonpost.com)	(561)
		Banks bailed out by American taxpayers are finally implementing responsible financial compensation practices. Just kidding, employee performance bonuses for 2009 will be 'record-busting'  (abcnews.go.com)	(100)

(13WHAM.com)		Howie Mandel to replace David Hasselhoff on "America's Got Talent" making all three judges non-Americans  (13wham.com)	(47)
		"Avatar" wins its fourth weekend in a row, becoming the highest-grossing movie released in 2009, crushing newcomer "Daybreakers." Further proof that more Americans prefer their sci-fi good and their vampires sparkly and pale  (blogs.wsj.com)	(468)

		The American Dialect Society has voted "tweet" the 2009 word of the year and "google" the word of the decade. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill myself  (upi.com)	(131)
		New reality TV show featuring worst cooks in America competing for $25K prize shocks and saddens its host. "There were fires, smoke. It was so hard to watch. They blew up that kitchen every day"  (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(67)

		That crazy guy from Law & Order is off his meds again: Humphrey Bogart was a communist, Ingrid Bergman was a plant for the American Feminist Movement, and Casablanca was part of the "Communist Collective Dream."  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(124)
		Excited about watching the Winter Olympics? Well suck it Americans, NBC to broadcast events on tape delay  (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(135)
		You can add "It's a Wonderful Life" to the growing list of films that conservatives have deemed Godless America-hating communist propaganda  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(160)
		"The ultimate battle, that will be a lot of fun to watch," one believer gushes."God is going to trash the planet," says another, beaming. Members of the Religion of Peace? Nope just your average American fundies  (movies.nytimes.com)	(263)

		Glenn Beck to African Americans - "You don't exist"  (thinkprogress.org)	(381)
		Newt Gingrich isn't too fond of the whole "innocent until proven guilty" concept at the core of American jurisprudence  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)	(451)
		David Hasselhoff leaving America's Got Talent to spend more time with his cheeseburgers  (tvwatch.people.com)	(28)
		2010 census form includes "negro" as race option. Census Bureau apologizes for error, promises to change option to "attractive and successful African American"  (wcbstv.com)	(374)
		The Sweet perform their glam-rock hit Ballroom Blitz. No, Krokus did the cheesy-cool metal cover in the 1980s, and Tia Carrere covered it in Wayne's World, and someone ripped off STOMP with it on America's Got Talent. Lawn. Off. Please  (youtube.com)	(75)

(Some Guy)		"Giving foreign-born, foreign-trained terrorists the right to remain silent does nothing to keep Americans safe from terrorist threats," claims well known legal scholar Sarah Palin  (politicususa.com)	(535)
		Relax everyone and don't sell that hummer just yet. They just found a massive oil reservoir that stretches from Africa to South America  (finance.yahoo.com)	(348)
		Canada deflated as USA snaps their five-year Gold Medal streak at World Junior Hockey Championships. America looks up from what it's doing and asks "The World what now?"  (ctv.ca)	(197)

(Some Guy)		New survey claims only 45 percent of Americans are satisfied with their work, much like their employers  (newsnet5.com)	(129)
		Producers Guild of America has unveiled their nominations for Best Picture...and Star Trek is on the list  (variety.com)	(137)
		32% more Americans file bankruptcy in 2009 because of the Obama stimulus  (news.yahoo.com)	(192)
		Starbucks customers are satisfied with 97% pesticide-laden coffee, to the dismay of Latin Americans who literally bet the farm on the organic craze  (csmonitor.com)	(74)

(Some Guy)		For the first time in seven years, Disneyland is draining the Rivers of America. Among the items expected to be found are Tom Sawyer's paintbrush, Davy Crockett's rifle, and the bloated corpse of Brer Rabbit  (ocresort.freedomblogging.com)	(172)
		"Citigroup and Bank of America, for example, concluded that everyone in their executive suites was above average when compared with peers at other giant banks that didn't need a bailout"  (nytimes.com)	(30)
		America is still feeling the effects of Prohibition, which can be confirmed by anyone who's tried to buy a bottle of wine or a six pack of beer in Pennsylvania  (online.wsj.com)	(175)

		Denver medical marijuana dispensaries now outnumber liquor stores, public schools, even Starbucks; recently named by NORML as America's Cannabis Capitol™  (denverpost.com)	(38)
		Imagine if I collected the most infamous deeds of African-Americans this decade - say, Michael Vick's dog-fighting scandal and O. J. Simpson's most recent criminal exploit - and then called it "the decade in black America"  (article.nationalreview.com)	(266)
		British, American embassies closed in Yemen. Yeah, that'll show those terrorists we mean business. Up next: a sharply worded letter  (upi.com)	(146)
(Some Guy)		The five biggest tall tales you'll hear from climate change deniers. "We all know journalists hate America. Rather than report the truth, they act as PR agents for the global warming crowd."  (mnn.com)	(303)
		American politicians deal with attacks by heightening security. Italian politicians deal with attacks by recording a CD of love songs  (stuff.co.nz)	(34)

		"The Constitution does not give Congress the power to require that Americans purchase health insurance."  (online.wsj.com)	(651)
		You send us lead-painted toys, we send you 8,500 tons of used tires. It's the American way  (upi.com)	(45)

		America's downsizing continues - Inventor of Quarter Pounder now 27 grams lighter  (thestate.com)	(123)
		December was the first month since the invasion of Iraq that there wasn't a single American combat death in the country  (news.yahoo.com)	(250)
		Did Americans get any healthier over the past decade? (please use your dialing wand to indicate your response)  (news.aol.com)	(76)

		U.S. taxpayers to lose up to $400 billion providing the "American Dream" to people living above their means. Or, 2/3 of the yearly Defense Budget  (businessweek.com)	(65)
		Ohio's Governor woos Indian consulting firm to open offices in the US. Damn Americans taking American jobs away from hard working Americans    (bloomberg.com)	(19)

		Top ten reasons why Barack Obama gets an 'F' for protecting Americans  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)	(191)
		Rubbed the wrong way by rudderless American flight security guidelines, Dutch authorities plan to institute full-body scans at airports  (sfgate.com)	(145)
		British survey discovers what Americans already knew: people on conference calls are sitting around at home naked, waiting for someone with a sexy voice to talk for a while  (walesonline.co.uk)	(11)
(Some Guy)		Stimulus funds used to build a nice new tennis court in Bozeman, Montana - the hub for Americas tennis pros  (bozemandailychronicle.com)	(78)

		Debt in America: strategically default on your mortgage and downgrade from the SUV to a used Corolla. Debt in Egypt: sell a kidney for $2k to put food on the table. Ouch  (abcnews.go.com)	(127)
		Obamacare won't make a difference because Americans are too drunk, lazy, fat and stupid to stay out of the hospital to begin with  (cnn.com)	(226)
		Through their overreaching arrogance, Democrats have succeeded in awakening a sleeping giant - regular Americans. They now climb out of their recliners to have a little cheese dip, assault the Fortresses of Socialism  (townhall.com)	(681)
(Pew Forum)		Mississippi tops list as being America's most religious state, which is no surprise since everyone there prays to win the lottery  (pewforum.org)	(132)
		"James Cameron should apologize to the American Military and should make a statement that he does not truly feel this way about them"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(193)
		Do you want to bet against America? Well, Morgan Stanley has the investment product for you  (bloomberg.com)	(61)
		The 2009 Delicious Irony award goes to Native American tribes, who are using funds from casinos to buy America back, a few thousand acres at a time  (msnbc.msn.com)	(423)
		"In a setback for U.S. interests in Central America, voters in Honduras elect, as their new president, Rod Blagojevich"  (miamiherald.com)	(47)

		Moss grows fat on Jacksonville's defense. Don McLean claims he knew that, but it had too many syllables to fit into that verse of American Pie  (espn.go.com)	(21)
		Where Americans Aren't Moving. Hint: The top 5 states are blue ones and one is Obama's home state  (finance.yahoo.com)	(354)
		Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes bastardization set a new record for biggest movie opening on Christmas. Goddammit, read a book, America  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(193)

		Merry Christmas, to the declining 78% of Americans who declare themselves Christian according to latest Gallup polls  (gallup.com)	(259)
		Guess which American sports franchise makes the most money? If you said the Yankees, sorry, but you do get these lovely parting gifts  (newsweek.com)	(68)
(KRGV)		Boy is finally reunited with American Dad. Family Guy still better  (krgv.com)	(115)

"Hopenhagen" produced as much carbon in 11 days as 2,300 Americans do in a year  (reuters.com)

(165)

		Today's Incoherent Headline Award goes to: "Recipe for Oscar Nom Trash Middle Tea-Bagging America." Om nom nom  (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(72)
		Unless Fox gets more money from the cable company, cable customers won't be able to watch American Idol on cable TV. Subby fails to understand what the problem is  (orlandosentinel.com)	(130)
		Simon Cowell is quitting American Idol. At least, according to his brother, who heard it from his cousin who heard it from his wife who overheard someone talking about it at 31 Flavors last night  (contactmusic.com)	(26)
		Columnist afraid of his wife writes that most American men wouldn't have as many affairs as Tiger Woods even if they could because "we're too lazy"  (blog.nj.com)	(199)
		American Airlines flight 331 from DC arrives in Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston, Jamaica, at gate 8, gate 9, gate 10  (foxnews.com)	(192)

		... and in news you don't care about, are America's prisoners getting too much soy?  (thebigmoney.com)	(19)
		Obama sarcastically belittles America's Judeo-Christian heritage with trite remarks typical of any atheistic antagonist: "...to base our policymaking on such commitments (as moral absolutes) would be a dangerous thing."  (townhall.com)	(398)
		Poll conducted on what Americans want for Christmas is pretty ordinary: pair of boots, warm coat, submachine gun, supersonic jet. You know, the usual  (abcnews.go.com)	(230)

		"American government changed last night. 'We are now functioning under a parliamentary form of government,' says Sen. Judd Gregg (R., N.H.)"  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(298)
		Mexico City becomes first Latin American city to approve gay marriage. ¡Fabuloso︕  (google.com)	(144)
		"Blige's willingness to bare her tortured inner self...has ensured her reign as the queen of hip-hop." And with a new album, American Idol stint, and a sunglasses/fragrance line coming, get ready for more torture  (usatoday.com)	(24)
		Facebook now being blamed for breakdown of thousands of marriages each year: "The site was named in at least 20 per cent of divorce petitions in America this year"  (thesun.co.uk)	(168)

(Gainesville Times)		Study finds American teens are using more pills, less pot  (gainesvilletimes.com)	(158)
(News Post Online)		Study finds American teens are using more pot, less tobacco  (newspostonline.com)	(65)
		American media wins 2009 brown-nosing title for their coverage of Copenhagen summit or, as they put it, 'How Obama saved the world'  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)	(205)

		Book looks at evangelical Christianity in American sports. *cough* Matthew 6:7 *cough*  (news.yahoo.com)	(124)
		Sen. Ben Nelson bought off for number 60. Democrats are now free to subvert the will of the American people  (foxnews.com)	(1340)

		Players from an American junior hockey team kill a bat that flew into the arena. While Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne may be impressed, naturally PETA is not  (cbc.ca)	(27)
		FDR used fear to negotiate a vast expansion of federal control over the day-to-day lives of ordinary American citizens. But compared to Obama, FDR was a piker in the panic and dread department  (townhall.com)	(496)

(The Business Insider)		10 American Industries that will soon be destroyed. Insurance companies suspiciously absent  (businessinsider.com)	(116)
(Some Guy)		America's Sheriff says "People everywhere deserve a little Christmas cheer. Especially those incarcerated during the holiday season." Not surprisingly some inmates have a problem with this  (wbaltv.com)	(156)
		Brian Moynihan named new captain of the RMS Bank of America. Watch out for those icebergs  (bloomberg.com)	(20)

(Some geek^2)		Nightcrawler and Wolverine outed as fans of NPR's This American Life  (blogs.vocalo.org)	(38)
(Some American Guy)		He's had a hard week job hunting, but only because he is American  (guestworkerfraud.com)	(404)
(SF Weekly)		"San Francisco is spectacularly mismanaged and arguably the worst-run big city in America."  (sfweekly.com)	(357)
		Following the tomato-hurling event at Sarah Palin's Mall of America book signing, Salt Lake City CostCo removes all tomatoes from the store prior to Palin visit  (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(192)

		Is belief in God hurting America?  (alternet.org)	(692)
		The best argument against health care reform? Americans are living longer and costing more  (msnbc.msn.com)	(57)

		Remember that psycho American Airlines flight attendant? And remember how American would neither apologize for nor correct the situation? Yeah, Delta decided to issue free Gold Status to anyone from the American flight  (consumerist.com)	(169)
		Three Americans who accidentally crossed into Iran will be tried. And not just becase Iran learned from N. Korea that you get great political concessions for convicting Americans and then negotiating their release  (msnbc.msn.com)	(221)

		Animated movie about a black princess that turns into a frog beats movie from Clint Eastwood about a black man that went from anti-apartheid activist to president. That's almost as bad as watching Twilight, America  (variety.com)	(155)
(Some Guy)		"We were just plain giddy this time last year. This year what I feel, and what I sense much of America feels is fatigue; fatigue born of repetitious let down. Sort of disappointment, but, well, more disappointing. Just let down"  (opednews.com)	(154)
		Slate magazine asks if American's obsession of Drive Thru windows has cooled. Subby wonders this also as he posts this from the jam packed Mcdonald's 24 Drive Thru  (slate.com)	(44)

		Instead of taking everybody's guns, gun laws have actually loosened during the Obama administration. "This is all a coordinated approach to respect that human, God-given right of self defense by law-abiding Americans"  (hosted.ap.org)	(248)
(Some Guy)		Scientists invent new gun sighting system that they promise will make it easier for twitchy-fingered American gun nuts to kill Commies, each other  (news.softpedia.com)	(63)
		CD released by obscure, overrated, overly derivative indie band adored by hipsters tops list of 2009's Best Album. No, not that band. That other one. No, not the English one, the American one. No, guess again. Yeah. Those guys. They suck  (abcnews.go.com)	(113)

		The sworn duty of American political leaders, regardless of party, is to grovel to conservatives and punch hippies  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(60)
		Bank of America could find out what it's like to have an honest-to-god competent banker as CEO  (bloomberg.com)	(27)

		The average American consumes 34GB worth of "data" -- including 18.5GB of "gaming data" -- each day, according to a new study apparently authored by Sen. Ted Stevens  (news.cnet.com)	(110)
(Koss)		Man asks American Airlines flight attendant for orange juice. Attendant flips out, screams at passengers, delivers hand-written reprimand from the captain, tells man he'll be arrested for violation of federal law. The Aristocrats  (kossome.com)	(237)
		Apparently Michael was the sanest Jackson: The Jackson family insists that "American Idol" called the wrong Randy Jackson by mistake  (content.usatoday.com)	(29)
		Forty-four percent of Americans see China as the world's leading economic power. And they're dopes: "People who think this are crazy. Or, to be more gentle, they are really woefully misinformed about what the world is like"  (jamesfallows.theatlantic.com)	(191)
		Latest victims of the slumping economy: Casino Americans  (chron.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)		"The truth is that there are millions of American men who find older women attractive, and we will prove it on the Cougar Cruise."  (heraldsun.com.au)	(500)

		Religion in America is now similar to a mix 'n match value menu. You can order a crispy ranch melt, three cheezapeno poppers and a choconut bar to fill the empty void inside, but you will have no idea what you just ate or why you wanted it  (msnbc.msn.com)	(334)
		CBO estimates as many as 10 million Americans will lose their employer-based health insurance under Senate bill  (foxnews.com)	(176)
		"The influence of reality TV has been insidious, pervasive. It has ruined television, and by ruining television it has ruined America. Maybe America was already ruined, but if so, it's now even more ruined"  (vanityfair.com)	(117)
(Springfield Republican)		Amtrak sets record as Americans take average of 0.0023 trips each during Thanksgiving week  (masslive.com)	(117)

		MTV staff receiving death threats from Italian-Americans upset over their depiction as dumb tough guys in the popular new show "Jersey Shore"  (foxnews.com)	(153)
		Why is Bank of America diluting its shareholders and taking a major risk in paying back TARP? If you guessed "so it can pay its executives more," you win. Step forward and collect your welfare check  (finance.yahoo.com)	(65)
		President Obama settles lawsuit with American Indians, resulting in $1.4 billion dollar payout. In other news, plans for the new Hopenchange Casino moving forward  (abcnews.go.com)	(103)

		Liberal tries to throw tomatoes at Palin in Mall of America from second story, misses by ten feet and hits two police officers in face. Now with felony mugshot goodness  (myfoxdc.com)	(442)
		United States Supreme Court seeks to crush the SarbOx oversight board and return American corporate governance to the Halcyon days of Enron  (reuters.com)	(75)
		"It took nearly 150 years for Congress to pass a resolution apologizing for slavery. We should apologize now to future generations for what we've done and are doing to America."  (townhall.com)	(134)
		Best-laid plans: By 2012, Obama expects the bailouts to be over, America out of two wars, the deficit on the decline, and himself in the White House for another four years of awesomeness  (politics.theatlantic.com)	(143)
		And subby thought he was the only one who thought "Boys and Girls in America" had the worst cover art evar  (avclub.com)	(39)
		US Senate willing work on Christmas day if necessary in order to pass health care reform and give Americans the most expensive lump of coal ever  (thehill.com)	(321)
		Canadian comedy legends The Frantics hold 30 year reunion. For you Americans, they were like The Kids In The Hall, only funny  (torontosun.com)	(90)
		The six scariest processed foods the world has ever seen, or as they are known in America, 'lunch'  (alternet.org)	(535)
		Craigslist vs. eBay. Two firms enter, one pimp leaves. The battle for who will be America's Sandford and Son rages on  (guardian.co.uk)	(59)

		Many Americans now think we should mind our own business  (freep.com)	(101)
		Japan's huge stimulus package to be unveiled next week, amid concerns it will look so small in comparison with gigantic American stimulus package    (google.com)	(60)

(ITWire)		Australians have had the world's fastest cellphone network for a year today. American cellphone networks too busy screwing over customers, crying about each other's ads and losing money to care  (itwire.com)	(23)
		As American scientists fight to lessen testicular odor and make nipple hair a problem of the past, English scientists use stem cells to rescue visual function  (sciencedaily.com)	(20)
(Albany Times Union)		Dutch apologize for massacring American Indians over 400 years ago. Still no apology for Heineken  (timesunion.com)	(81)

		George Stephanopoulos will replace Diane Sawyer as the host of Good Morning America. ABC has even made him a special leather high-chair  (contactmusic.com)	(20)
(PrefixMag)		First David Bowie US fan letter response, dating from '67: "I hope one day to get to America"  (prefixmag.com)	(28)
		Running out of ideas, GM appoints new head of North American Union. Subby wonders how many Ameros it'll cost for a new Corvette  (news.yahoo.com)	(44)
		As Bank of America is playing footsies with solvency, Citigroup lowers their head in shame and asks to be spanked again before being put back in their cage  (bloomberg.com)	(14)
		Bank of America gives $45 billion to taxpayers after screwing their shareholders. Ouch  (money.cnn.com)	(58)
		Palin issues media guidelines for Mall of America appearance, such as "no foreigners."  (wcco.com)	(298)

		Alton Brown: "Celebrity chefs are the high priests of the food craze that is partly responsible for the fattening of America. We helped people get into this mess. I don't see why we shouldn't help get them out"  (time.com)	(123)
		Audio from the Opie & Anthony Show, featuring Jesse Ventura storming out of the studio during a heated debate about America. Contains a barrelful of foul language  (liveleak.com)	(97)

(Some Ambitious Slowhand)		Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck will play three live shows in North America next year; sadly, two of the three dates are in Canada  (nme.com)	(62)
		Florida State offensive line pulls what may be the most bizarre effort in the entire history of American football  (liveleak.com)	(123)

		In honor of the American soldier, Sarah Palin's autobiography uses a quote celebrating the massacre of the U.S. 7th Cavalry Regiment  (huffingtonpost.com)	(447)
(Foreign Policy)		"Americans have come to believe that spending govt revenues on US citizens here at home is usually a bad thing and should be viewed wth suspicion, but spending billions on vast projects overseas is the hallmark of patriotism"  (walt.foreignpolicy.com)	(113)
		Cyber Monday sales soar as 100 million brave Americans surf for bargains. USA USA USA  (reuters.com)	(22)

		University of Arizona professor James Rogers advises 15 million Americans to walk away from their home mortgages. Let's see how this works out  (moneywatch.bnet.com)	(137)
		Americans are staying here, and taking the jobs they didn't used to want away from hard working illegal immigrants  (content.usatoday.net)	(81)
		Tom Petty's dad beat him because he thought he was gay. Look, just because he was crazy about Elvis, loved horses, and America too, doesn't mean he's gay  (contactmusic.com)	(41)
		Black Friday numbers worse than expected. Thanks for ruining America, everyone  (reuters.com)	(143)
		Arab world has stopped applauding Barack Obama, just like Americans have  (online.wsj.com)	(176)

		Twilight: New Moon rules the box office for the second straight week despite Sandra Bullock staking them on Thursday. Well, I hope you're happy, America, we can expect even more sparkly bullshiat  (reuters.com)	(179)
		Homeland Security protects America by intecepting the first shipment of a strategy guide for the role-playing game Monsterpocalypse  (reason.com)	(89)
(Some Guy)		White House "Party Crashers" had a five year relationship with Obama and were members of The American Task Force on Palestine (ATFP) radical group  (canadafreepress.com)	(127)
		Volunteers of America say they can't even afford to pay sidewalk Santas coal this year  (myfoxny.com)	(24)

		"Obama will deliver his first State of the Union address having accomplished more than any other postwar American president at a comparable point in his presidency."  (slate.com)	(352)
		British press insists that singing hag Susan Boyle is America's Woman Of The Year for 2009. Note to Britain: no, she's not  (express.co.uk)	(51)
		Obama's accept delivery of 2009 Christmas tree. The tree came from West Virginia, so there is at least one thing born and raised in America currently in the White House    (blogs.suntimes.com)	(124)

		A roundup of cute little animals stuffing their fat little faces on Thanksgiving, just like Americans did  (huffingtonpost.com)	(53)
		Kids in the Hall returns with miniseries that's a cross between Corner Gas and Twin Peaks: "You wouldn't be able to do stuff like that in America unless they were paying you $1 per episode"  (canada.com)	(84)
		New study shows that Americans throw away over 40% of the food they purchase, or about 1,400 calories per person per DAY. Or, put another way, enough to give every starving person on this planet the same waistline as the average American  (news.yahoo.com)	(310)

(Access Hollywood)		According to Good Morning America, male pop stars who kiss men: Bad; male pop stars who beat women: Good  (accesshollywood.com)	(65)
		"Between 1960 and 2008, turkeys bulked up by around 11lb to 29lb ... coincidentally in that same period the average American man gained 28lb, almost the equivalent of a turkey"  (economist.com)	(39)
(Andrew Sullivan)		A moving Thanksgiving Day tribute to America expressed with a clarity that perhaps only a conservative, gay, Catholic, pugnacious and irrepressible expatriate Brit could attain. Happy Thanksgiving Fark  (mcgillreport.org)	(96)
		Thirty-two percent of American men are obviously watching Alton Brown more than the Dallas Cowboys this year  (fe2.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com)	(141)

		This is why you can't have nice things, America: "rather than a retelling of the Nativity story there will be a disco, a contemporary circus, a continental market and a seven foot fairy on stilts."  (corner.nationalreview.com)	(458)
(Charlotte Obs)		Billy Graham thinks God was using Sarah Palin "to wake America up," presumably to witness John McCain's godawful decision making skills  (charlotteobserver.com)	(92)

		Someone finally calls Sprint's bluff on their 'America's Most Dependable Network' BS  (google.com)	(40)
(yomiuri.co.jp)		Small Tokyo factories pool resources to build deep-sea research robot to search for oil and minerals. In other news, small American factories struggle to find workers who understand English and can add two numbers  (yomiuri.co.jp)	(34)
		Lost: President. Tall and well-dressed, age 48. Enjoys basketball and golf. Has "keen moral clarity." If found, contact the American Left, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, DC  (washingtonpost.com)	(122)
		Producers Guild of America bestows their highest award on Joss Whedon...for his work outside of television  (io9.com)	(22)
		Recession has caused many Americans to only buy things they can afford - and pay cash. Rather than praise this, the AP is calling these people "Scrooges"  (google.com)	(94)

		Obama & Palin, the Yin & Yang of American politics: "Ms. Palin connects: Mr. Obama inspires. She's a latter-day frontier figure, impulsive, instinctive; he's pure urban cool, highly deliberate, even detached."  (theglobeandmail.com)	(183)
		A headline that could only exist in a country with a legislature as screwed up as America's: "McCaskill still working toward goal of reading the healthcare bill"  (thehill.com)	(173)

		The coming deficit disaster: why President Obama hates you personally and wants to destroy America  (online.wsj.com)	(256)
(TV Squad)		Hollywood is officially out of ideas: American Gladiators is being made into a movie  (tvsquad.com)	(41)

		Nearly 40% of all Americans ages 18 to 24 were enrolled in college this year, ensuring us a future of very well educated fast food workers and Walmart clerks  (fe17.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com)	(167)
		The Office, which used to be about a shiatty place to work, is now about a shiatty place to try to not get laid off from. Although as anyone with a clue can tell you, the British recession is way better than the American one  (cnn.com)	(96)

		White Lies say that the enjoyed touring with Kings of Leon more than they did with Coldplay, because "the Americans partied with us." It's like an auditory vortex of suck  (contactmusic.com)	(17)
		Sunnyvale, CA named happiest place in America, Crappyville still least happy  (cbs5.com)	(98)

Almost three-quarters of Americans like Obama as a person, but fewer than half like his policies, and only 35 percent like the House health care plan he endorsed. If you need him, he'll be in the Rose Garden eating worms  (hotair.com)

(279)

(Some Guy)		CWA president upset that American T-Mobile employees, who are already happy with their workplace, aren't interested in "organizing", plans to bring in German muscle to "re-educate" them  (wfaa.com)	(43)
		Rachel McAdams dismisses rumors that she will suit up in skintight leather and portray Black Cat in Spider-Man 4, proving once and for all that Rachel McAdams hates America  (contactmusic.com)	(155)
		Goldman Sachs apologizes for being a bunch of douchebags profiting on the collapse of America. "Sorry 'bout that, dudes"  (money.cnn.com)	(52)

		Danish political party admits to covering posters for opposing parties' candidates with yellow stickers shaped like penises. Nice try, but in America, we go all out and put the dicks on the actual BALLOTS    (upi.com)	(46)
		Sorry, the toothpaste is out of the tube and it's fabulous: Handlers for "American Idol" singer Adam Lambert want to put him back into the closet  (blogs.villagevoice.com)	(61)
		Sixty-four percent of Americans think Khalid Sheikh Muhammed should be tried in a military court, while 34 percent say a civilian court. "Even a majority of Democrats and liberals say that he should be tried by military authorities"  (hotair.com)	(693)
		American Airlines fires web designer who helped a customer and apologized for the poor webpage design  (consumerist.com)	(41)
		Half of Americans willing to pay for online news, but only at an average of $3 a month. In other news, TotalFarkers are finally above average for once  (nytimes.com)	(87)