Headlines matching 'ALS'
Wed April 10, 2013
Tue April 09, 2013
Mon April 08, 2013
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NBC may give early renewals to Grimm, The Voice, and for some odd reason Revolution |
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Steve McQueen's vintage Indian to likely fetch up to $28,000. Also, Dude, "Indian" is not the preferred nomenclature. Native American, please |
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Microsoft insider Paul Thurrott not only confirms the Xbox720 being always online, but also reveals a $500 base price and a $300 subscription subsidized price. Sony and Nintendo last heard to be celebrating the news over a round of hookers and blow |
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I PITY THE FOOL who don't go and read this article about discontinued breakfast cereals |
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Happy conservative warrior, Mike Gallagher, says he "doesn't hate liberals", just the watermelons they eat. Fark those guys |
Sun April 07, 2013
Sat April 06, 2013
Fri April 05, 2013
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How friendly is the relationship between China and Best Korea right now? Well, when Chinese officials refer to Kim Jong-Un as "Fatty Kim" or "Fatty The Third", what does that tell you? |
| (Some Guy) |
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In honor of the day Kurt Cobain died in 1994, here are his isolated vocals for Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. Astrounding |
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Meals on bricks |
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It's Friday, and that means it's time for the Weird News Quiz. Also time for drunken shenanigans on Bourbon Street, but that's a different story altogether |
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Officer: "I'm going to let you off with a warning this time. Oh, also, here's your pot back" |
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Jason Hanson hangs up his kicking cleats and walks away with 495 career field goals, third in NFL history |
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At a San Francisco fundraiser, Obama praises California's AG Kamala Harris' toughness and smarts, and also notes she's "the best-looking attorney general in the US". Aides are preparing the pull-out couch in the Oval Office for his return |
Thu April 04, 2013
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Thursday Night MMA: Bellator 95, the finale of Season 8. Featuring Curran vs Shamhalaev for the Featherweight Championship, plus FW and MW Tournament Finals. Prelims stream at Spike.com at 7:15 PM ET, main card at 10 PM ET on Spike TV |
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Republicans continue their Latino outreach efforts by warning America that a "pathway to citizenship" for existing illegals could cost up to...*twirls moustache*...$40 BILLION PER YEAR |
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Digg grows 93%, while sending 1.4 million referrals to publishers, but still "remains behind both StumbleUpon and FARK, which sent between 2 and 3 million referrals to publishers in February 2013 |
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You can tell Spring has arrived in Indiana because the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and the locals keep getting arrested for wearing little to no-clothing. "So what if they saw my (breasts)?" |
| (Blank is Blank) |
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Jim Morrison interview from 1969 reveals Doors frontman poetically rhapsodizing about mashed potatoes and beauty of getting fat in college. "I felt so great. I felt like a tank, you know. I felt like a large mammal. A big beast" |
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Scooter companies may be swindling the nation's seniors. Those rascals |
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House prices are going up: that's good. But only because investors are scooping them up as rentals making it hard for first time homebuyers to get them: that's bad. But rent is going down: that's good. Which could cause a second crash:that's bad |
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Regarding the disbursement of $700M in Katrina/Rita housing improvement money, "HUD officials say Louisiana was responsible for overseeing the appropriate use of the money." There's your problem right there |
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Feds push new meat labels that will tell consumers where animals were born, raised and slaughtered. Your hamburger is Bess4815162342, born and raised in factory farm 3F127, and died a natural death by stun gun 12 days ago. Enjoy your meal |
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Wow: Washington Nationals are only the 13th team since 1900 to open the MLB season with back-to-back shutouts. Meh: Against the Marlins |
Wed April 03, 2013
Tue April 02, 2013
Mon April 01, 2013
Sun March 31, 2013
Sat March 30, 2013
Fri March 29, 2013
Thu March 28, 2013
Wed March 27, 2013
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Ah, history: "Closer inspection of this artwork reveals a human-like male in sexual congress with what is indisputably a nanny goat" |
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Why, out of 90 jurisdictions in the US, is Chicago dead last in prosecuting criminals with guns yet first in murders? |
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Woman stabs her boyfriend, then yanks off his prosthetic leg and throws it in the yard so that he can't chase her. She also threw his spare leg in the yard for good measure |
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Newsflash to all homosexuals. Pat Robertson and Pastor Jim Garlow say that gays don't really want marriage |
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Good: Netflix announces original sci-fi series. Bad: Produced by the people behind the Matrix sequels. Great: And also produced by the guy responsible for Babylon 5 |
| (Renegade's Rants) |
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Equality: Homosexuals, Marriage, and Christian Blindness -- Whenever the topic of homosexual marriage comes up, Christians have a bad habit of losing sight of the big picture; but gay marriage advocates? You have a real problem on your end as well |
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Jesse James hopes to find happiness marrying a drag racing bride, although his past marriages were also fueled by alcohol, started fast and were done in six seconds |
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Woman is the only person to opt-out of company lottery pool. Office wins, decides to share with woman. Bonus: Woman who bought winning ticket was cut in line by man also buying tickets |
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After studying the behavior of wild pack animals, scientists can now predict with 99% accuracy where gang fights will occur |
Tue March 26, 2013
Mon March 25, 2013
Sun March 24, 2013
Sat March 23, 2013
Fri March 22, 2013
Thu March 21, 2013
Wed March 20, 2013
Tue March 19, 2013
Mon March 18, 2013
Sun March 17, 2013
Sat March 16, 2013
Fri March 15, 2013
Thu March 14, 2013
Wed March 13, 2013
Tue March 12, 2013
Mon March 11, 2013
Sun March 10, 2013
Sat March 09, 2013
Fri March 08, 2013
Thu March 07, 2013
Wed March 06, 2013
Tue March 05, 2013
Mon March 04, 2013
Sun March 03, 2013
Sat March 02, 2013
Fri March 01, 2013
Thu February 28, 2013
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Today's breathless hyperbole from Maxine Waters: Sequestration will cost 170 million jobs. Will also cost eleventeenth skrillion megabucks, πr² bank failures and potato foreclosures |
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In stupid sports injury news, Washington Nationals player is out with a sore arm - due to a new tattoo |
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Despite what you may think, "Penta-Millionaires" are much happier than individuals worth less than $100,000. Here's Ric Romero with the science |
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Polls show Americans largely favor cutting the deficit, however they also largely favor increasing spending without raising revenue. Welp, that's it folks, pack it up, democracy's over |
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Pope Benedict has his "fark you, fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, fark you, I'm out" moment with the College of Cardinals |
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Ancient fossil reveals that Cthulhu really did live on Earth 500 million years ago. Here comes the science you hope is really, really wrong |
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The Internet needs a Plan B, also needs to to stop drinking so much and waking up next to strange networks it just met |
Wed February 27, 2013
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Archer not only confirms a fifth season, but also an appearance by Jon Hamm and a crossover with Sealab 2021. Sploosh |
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Fascinating article about the search for a serial killer written by a stay-at-home mom who also just happens to be comedian's Patton Oswalt's wife |
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Attorneys for man accused of threatening Colorado legislator claims his client was practicing free speech. "You're allowed to say offensive things to your representatives. Our elected officials have to have a thick skin" |
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Elizabeth Warren: "If these banks are 'too big to fail', why on earth are we giving them discounts and sweet deals on everything?" Ben Bernanke: "Uh...we're working on that" |
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Death notice that ran in The New York Times by retired stockbroker reveals his love of family, country, finance, skiing, opera, ballet and biking in Central Park, love of all NYC... and hatred for the Gray Lady |
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Medical marijuana advocate, who has been battling ALS for 27 years, grows a handful of marijuana plants for self-medication. Sheriff clearly has a problem with that |
Tue February 26, 2013
Mon February 25, 2013
Sun February 24, 2013
Sat February 23, 2013
Fri February 22, 2013
Thu February 21, 2013
Wed February 20, 2013
Tue February 19, 2013
Mon February 18, 2013
Sun February 17, 2013
Sat February 16, 2013
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Forest Whitaker falsely accused of leaving deli with a sausage in his pants |
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National Organization for Marriage, or NOM, says that protests against Orson Scott Card are un-American. So taking a stand against a homophobe who thinks homosexuals should be imprisoned is un-American. Got it |
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Now sit ye lads and hear the lore, of the sea shanty singer killed by a falling door. His manager at his side was also doomed. Both of their lives, far too early were consumed. Aargh |
| (Some Confused Pastafarian) |
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"Amphibians, reptiles, (cold-blooded animals) and shellfish are permitted" to be eaten during Lent? Leviticus 9:12: "Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you." IT'S A TRAP |
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Russian bombers probed U.S. defenses around Guam at the same time as the president gave his State of the Union Speech. Military officials refused to speculate about the timing, but Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan |
Fri February 15, 2013
Thu February 14, 2013
Wed February 13, 2013
Tue February 12, 2013
Mon February 11, 2013
Sun February 10, 2013
Sat February 09, 2013
Fri February 08, 2013
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Piglet loving actor James Cromwell also shows his devotion to cats by getting arrested after bursting into a board meeting at a university to protest the torturing of cats |
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Officials want to build a 75-mile path through the Everglades so that joggers and cyclists can have easy access to the wildlife without having to use their cars. What could go wrong? |
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Man diagnosed with a "popeye deformity" after falling and hurting himself at Walmart wins a $1.3 million settlement. Also, "popeye deformity" is a thing |
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Twelve real animals that should be Pokémon |
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If you drive a car in Massachusetts during the snow, you'll go to jail for a year. Also, there's no train, bus, or airline service |
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I can tell that you were in the sprinkle jar by the look on your face. Also, sprinkles |
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Bioshock Infinite will feature the ideals of early 20th century American exceptionalism run amok in a steam-punk inspired alternate universe. Guess who has a problem with this |
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If you've ever wanted to see an alien, Power Ranger, and teletubby gyrate, well, today is your lucky day. Also, that's a pretty weird thing to wish for |
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Man steals his girlfriend's heart while his buddies steal her TV |
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Millennials are the most stressed-out generation EVAR. Hopefully they'll get some kind of trophy for this |
| (Some Guy) |
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NCSU, home of one of the first internet sex video scandals is back with "Dirty Bingo" and butt plugs |
Thu February 07, 2013
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Thursday Night MMA Discussion: Bellator 88 featuring Shlemenko vs Falcao for the middleweight championship, plus the featherweight tournament quarterfinals. Prelims at 8 PM ET on Spike.com, main card at 10 PM ET on Spike TV |
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Lutheran minister formally apologizes for taking part in prayer vigil for the victims of the Sandy Hook Massacre-because there were also clerics of other faiths also praying at the service, and you know, Jesus just HATES that |
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Fine Young Cannibals to rerelease their only two albums in special 2-disc editions, will hopefully re-ignite interest in Roland Gift and Highlander |
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Russian monument to vodak tippled over because officials fear it projects an image of drunk Russians |
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The land that has brought us tentacle monster rape, panty vending machines, and giant penis and vagina festivals wants David to wear pants |
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"We feel that every citizen has a right to communicate, the right to send data without the fear of it being grabbed out of the air and used by criminals, stored by governments, and aggregated by companies that sell it" |
Wed February 06, 2013
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If you are attending this year's Grammy Awards, CBS expects you to cover your "breasts, genitals, buttocks, and crack." Looks like no Rihanna or Lady Gaga this year |
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Eric Cantor: So when we said "screw the 47% and round up and deport illegals at gun-point" what we MEANT by that is: that helping the poor, and allowing citizenship for inadvertently present immigrants are basic moral responsibilities of government |
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Turns out that mixing liquor with diet soda gets you drunk faster than by using regular soda. Also lets potential mates know you have no respect for alcohol and should never be allowed to reproduce |
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Why doesn't the media pay attention to how much liberals hate Obama droning people to death? |
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Seals off the coast of S. Africa decide they've had enough, turn tables on the sharks |
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Gus Johnson expands Fox Sports role beyond football and NCAA basketball to soccer, will become voice of FA Cup, EPL, Champions League, and World Cup. LEO MESSI GETS GOALS |
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Zombie Industries, the makers of "bleeding" zombies and gun supplies have come up with a zombie named "Rocky" who is also called "Barocky," which is supposed to represent President Obama. Some people are going to have a problem with this |
Tue February 05, 2013
Mon February 04, 2013
Sun February 03, 2013
Sat February 02, 2013
Fri February 01, 2013
Thu January 31, 2013
Wed January 30, 2013
Tue January 29, 2013
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The next wave of anti-Obama movies will be made by liberals, make Matt Damon appear less pompous |
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Man steals church's van, promptly crashes into building at the corner of Karma and Biatch |
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The classic love story. Boy meets prostitute. Boy hires prostitute. Prostitute get convicted of grand theft. Boy keeps seeing prostitute. Prostitute steals TV and car from boy and beats him with a brick |
| (Some Guy) |
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Man steals truck to stop ex-girlfriend's wedding. Romance is not dead |
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Kentucky's current slogan is "Unbridled Spirit," but two creative advertising professionals don't think that quite sums up what's so great about the state. Their idea for a new slogan: "Kentucky Kicks Ass" |
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Drunk driver crashes car, steals the ambulance, gets it stuck, attempts to steal 2 horses, steals an SUV, totals it, steals another, drives it home, where police arrest him. The Aristocrats |
Mon January 28, 2013
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Organization known for short shorts and colored handkerchiefs considers ending longstanding ban on homosexuals |
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Once again, basketball fans, you can't pass the ball to your coach. He's not only out of bounds, he's not a player. Also, if he instinctively passes the ball to the open man and he scores, it won't count |
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Rabbits cause problems at Denver International Airport. Officials say the rabbits shouldn't even be there, since they belong at O'Hare |
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Remember that VA electoral college vote that Democrats opposed vehemently? Yeah, it turns out that they also supported similar bills in the past |
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Your sense of humor reveals who you really are. Offer void on the politics tab |
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Iran launches rocket, sending monkey into space. Monkey almost returned safely but then was recovered by Iranian officials |
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Disappointed that the Revis story is already off the front page of news, NY Jets owner Woody Johnson lets it be known they also want to get rid of Cromartie as well. Because who needs a secondary? |
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Islamic radicals torch a library in Africa containing historic manuscripts, this is not a repeat from 642 |
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Trial reveals deep ties between violent terrorists and the hard line religious extremists who fund them. Iraq? Afghanistan? No, Kansas |
Sun January 27, 2013
Sat January 26, 2013
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