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Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Ridley Scott is such a sci-fi badass he was scheduled to design the Daleks but he was busy that week  (independent.co.uk)	(18)
		Canada's national archives is being dismantled and scattered, who needs to remember the history of the polar bear uprising anyway eh?  (boingboing.net)	(166)

Canada.com finds FARK's clever headline about Michael Vick to be quite engaging  (canada.com)

(0)

		"Bob Dylan and Adam Sandler -- Celebrity Doppelgangers?" If you have glaucoma, yes  (spinner.com)	(26)
		It's Towel Day. Enjoy the BBC's Hitchhiker's Guide series and raise a Gargle-Blaster at 42 minutes past the hour in remembrance of Douglas Adams  (youtube.com)	(15)

(Womc.com)

Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Robin Gibb. Is Glee Predicting Musicians' Deaths Like A "Musical Nostradamus?"  (womc.cbslocal.com)

(46)

(news8000.com)		Walker supported by governor. Meanwhile, Carl still won't stay in the house, Daryl is still a badass, and T-Dog doesn't have a lot to say  (news8000.com)	(59)
		Canada slowly granting province-like control of natural resources to its territories  (news.nationalpost.com)	(17)
		Russia, Japan, Europe, India and World Superpower Canada are together aiming to establish permanent bases on the Moon. NASA, um, isn't  (blogs.nature.com)	(46)

(Some Guy)

Ojibwemowin Ozhibii'igaade Miinawaa Aabadad Miziwe Go Eni-bimaadiziwaad Bemijigamaag  (minnpost.com)

(86)

Commodore 64 guitar. If you think that's badass, you should see the drums made out of black-and-green monitors and dot matrix printers  (neatorama.com)

(38)

		NASA's Google Map shows where tomorrow night's annular eclipse can be seen from Earth. Sorry, states not named California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, New Mexico, and Texas  (pcworld.com)	(65)
		If you see only one picture of Shaq posing with a Madagascarian mouse lemur today, let it be this one  (blogs.scientificamerican.com)	(37)
		Adam Savage's quest to build the best replica Zorg gun from The Fifth Element. NERDS  (youtube.com)	(102)

		Sears plans on abandoning their Canada operations, as the demand for plaid flannel, maple syrup, moose traps, and goofy hats with floppy ears has declined sharply  (chicagotribune.com)	(16)
		Canada bounced from medal round of the World Hockey Championship. Which is okay since this isn't a real tournament anyway, eh?  (tsn.ca)	(138)

(Some Guy)		Yet another reason why Canada kicks America's ass. We have sex tours for school age kids that include a masturbation room  (winnipegsun.com)	(231)
		In honor of the late Adam Yauch, three kids perform a remake of the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video  (news.yahoo.com)	(13)
		Brian De Palma to direct Rachel McAdams and Noomi Rapace in "I'll Be in My Bunk: The Movie"  (comingsoon.net)	(61)

		12 year old hands Bank of Canada its ass back to them cleaned and pressed  (bloomberg.com)	(37)
		Comic art legend Neal Adams to draw X-Men prequel mini-series starring Wolverine and a Nazi-hunting Magneto. No word yet whether the Expanding Earth Theory will be involved  (io9.com)	(26)

		Time-travelling plane crashed in prehistoric Canada. It's a good thing they brought their own weapons  (news.yahoo.com)	(46)
(Farker abkaiser)		Another Farker wrote a book. Think Raymond Chandler fused with Douglas Adams. Free to read for Amazon Prime subscribers, and very cheap for the rest of the world  (amazon.com)	(63)

What the heck is this thing? A decommissioned radar assembly or a shrine to the god of bowling? DIT  (maps.google.com)

(81)

		Rafael Nadal beaten on clay court in Madrid, congratulates winner and leaves gracefully. Just kidding, he blames the court itself and threatens not to return next year. Fail tag used in absence of Douche tag  (sports.yahoo.com)	(28)
		Tennessee murder-kidnapping suspect Adam Mayes found dead; sisters he kidnapped found alive  (cnn.com)	(97)

A new drug, Truvada has been shown to 94% effective in preventing AIDS infections in healthy people - which is why AIDS prevention advocates fear it will be a disastrous to their efforts to prevent the spread of AIDS  (abcnews.go.com)

(76)

Canada.com editor mentions the different and unique perspective of FARK as compared to the vortex of the Kanye West twitter  (blogs.canada.com)

(7)

You're a federal fugitive wanted by the U.S. Marshals. Do you: A) Flee to Mexico? B) Flee to Canada? C) Pose as a disc jockey named 'RoboCraig' at a bar and grill in Oregon?  (oregonlive.com)

(28)

		In tribute to Adam Yauch, Coldplay played (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party) at their show last night. And yes, there is video of the performance  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(94)
		Meanwhile in Canada: "Mathews had previously traced the false calls to a phone registered to "Pierre Poutine," which he determined is likely a fake name"  (cbc.ca)	(95)
		One hundred artists remember Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch  (pastemagazine.com)	(85)

(Some Guy)

Afghani designed landmine clearing device uses no fossil fuel, is biodegradable, has zero risk of injury to human operators, and costs pennies on the dollar next to current tech  (bbc.com)

(52)

		Coffee backs off 52-week highs, has a massive headache  (marketwatch.com)	(4)
		Halladay takes a holiday  (msn.foxsports.com)	(14)
		The Harley motorcycle found washed up in Canada has been claimed. Harley Davidson will restore for free and return it... Excuse me, I got motorcycle dust in my eyes now  (news.blogs.cnn.com)	(52)
(Hats off to Larry)		With Roy Halladay on the mound and a 6-run lead against Atlanta, Phillies coast to a 15-13 loss in 11 innings  (atlanta.sbnation.com)	(23)

		If you lost a Harley Davidson during the Japanese tsunami, you'll be glad to know that your bike has been found.. washed up on a beach in Canada. w/vid  (liveleak.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)		In the NHL playoffs, Canada's Team is the Phoenix Coyotes  (vancouversun.com)	(77)

(Some Guy)

The US Navy is considered the master of six oceans. But Russia, Canada, and Demark have the upper hand in the seventh  (adn.com)

(118)

		Disney adapting Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book  (deadline.com)	(40)
(Tech Radar)		Tech Radar thanks FARK for the unique ability to watch multiple episodes of Star Trek at once (8th section)  (techradar.com)	(0)
		Twenty years after the Rodney King riots, Battlestar Galactica's Bill Adama chimes on racial relations in LA, destroying those frackin toasters  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com)	(106)
		Back in the day, a stoned projectionist could allow a film to get jammed and melt in front of the bulb. Nowadays, he can accidentally delete an entire film, even if it's at a vital press screening of "The Avengers"  (slate.com)	(69)
		When you absolutely, positively have to be the world's most badass leader, accept no substitute  (shortlist.com)	(84)

Doctor finds G-spot in cadaver. Time to crack open a cold one  (cnews.canoe.ca)

(41)

		If you saw a giant fireball over Nevada and California yesterday morning, don't panic - it's just an oversized washing machine  (news.discovery.com)	(16)
		Mmmmmmysterious hummmmmm in Canada commmmmming frommmmmm U.S  (upi.com)	(32)

"Last week I put on my leopard suit, went outside, and it was 63 degrees; I had to come back in and change" - indeed, Clyde Frazier is still badass at 67  (nytimes.com)

(14)

		What secret is Princess Cadance and Shining Armor hiding from Twilight Sparkle? Did Pinkie Pie plan the wedding reception? Will Derpy bring muffins? It's the Royal Wedding season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, 1 pm on The Hub  (nydailynews.com)	(154)
		Ansel Adams photographs of Los Angeles in the nineteen dickities, way before the Kaiser stole the word forty, back when gas cost just a few bees and everyone wore an onion on their belt  (dailymail.co.uk)	(56)

(Some Guy)		Hey hoser, why can't we get some of that Clintonville booms publicity action up here in McAdam, eh? We'll need a new angle though. How aboot throwing in ball lightning? Skookum  (news.gather.com)	(19)
		New species of badass gecko discovered, doesn't give a damn about your car insurance  (msnbc.msn.com)	(10)

(Some Guy)

Penguins go into Game 4 missing Neal, Adams, and Asham as a result of Sunday's carnage  (csnphilly.com)

(134)

The technical details behind 2Pac's holographic illusion, with video of Al Gore, Madonna, Richard Branson and some dude from Canada doing the same thing  (arstechnica.com)

(48)

		Lada retires model first released in 1982, just when it's finally starting to look cool again  (life.nationalpost.com)	(23)
		WWE Monday Night Raw is in London tonight, and Senile Vince has decided that the only way please UK fans is to bring back some old favorites like Davey Boy Smith, Gentleman Chris Adams, and Judo Alfred Hayes. See the trainwreck at 9 PM on USA  (bleacherreport.com)	(1540)
		Fourteen short-lived film-to-TV adaptations. Remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Parenthood? Yeah, neither does anyone else  (avclub.com)	(152)

Badass: skiing solo to the North Pole. More badass: crashing a wedding taking place there when you arrive, and guzzling their champagne to celebrate  (bbc.co.uk)

(51)

The material of the future is human hair. Just imagine drinking from a cup made with your wife's golden locks...not only is it sustainable, but also biodegradable. And it is being launched  (humansinvent.com)

(38)

		Canada's new quarter has a dinosaur with glow-in-the-dark bones  (moneyland.time.com)	(45)
		While finding the cause of your headaches, dentists might be causing some bigger ones. Like a tumour in your head  (huffingtonpost.com)	(54)

		The 2012 New York Rangers would be just as good as the 1994 Stanley Cup winning Rangers, if only they had Mark Messier, Brian Leetch, Sergei Zubov and Adam Graves  (sports.yahoo.com)	(99)
		95 years ago, the identity of Canada was forged as lumberjack commandos politely kicked in the teeth of the Hun at Vimy ridge, eh?  (torontosun.com)	(176)

		Hunger Games closes in on the $300 million mark - chances of a Hungry, Hungry Hippos adaptation called 'The Original Hunger Games' getting higher every day  (hitfix.com)	(66)
		World's rarest ducklings hatch in Madagascar. SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING  (bbc.co.uk)	(21)

		Fired executive with bi-polar disorder wins protection under the ADA, says he's really excited to have set the precedent, plans on starting a national organization for fellow suffers,or not, because that's just too hard  (abcnews.go.com)	(73)
(KABC-7)		Because neither Gotham City nor Quahog have a Walk Of Fame, Adam West settles for Hollywood's: "He taught me right from wrong, good versus evil, and most significantly, the importance of driving a really cool car"  (abclocal.go.com)	(30)

Just when you thought we'd reached the nadir of Adam Sandler films, a sequel to Grown-Ups is in the works, and the human alpaca that is Taylor Lautner will be in the cast  (huffingtonpost.com)

(60)

		Abracadabra  (jsonline.com)	(11)
		Since PM Sweatervest put his foot on the throats of Canadian government scientists, media coverage of global warming has fallen 80% according to a leaked Environment Canada internal document  (newscientist.com)	(57)
		Adam Sandler prepping a remake of the Mark Harmon classic Summer School  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(89)

		Scary clowns are so cliche. That is why there is the new Patch Adams therapy clown  (stuff.co.nz)	(46)
		Adam Sandler pulls off a sweep of the Razzies, including both worst actor and worst actress  (accessatlanta.com)	(24)
		Cardinals' Adam Wainwright pranked good during spring training game  (sports.espn.go.com)	(33)

		World Fark Party II - Las Vegas Nevada: March 30 - Apr 1  (fark.com)	(lots)
		In the U.S., political foes pretend they're tough. In Canada, they get into the ring and prove it  (news.nationalpost.com)	(53)

Adam Sandler must have one of the best wives ever. Looks great in a bikini and can put up with his films  (dailymail.co.uk)

(81)

(Some Guy)		Canada is the preferred destination for American sex tourists, according to survey of 101 johns from Boston  (blogs.vancouversun.com)	(111)
(More Intelligent Life)		Most interesting article about restaurant names you'll read all day. Subby's favorites are Aunt Chilada's, Thaitanic, Vin sur Vin, Untitled, Frying Nemo, and Dinner (where you can get lunch)  (moreintelligentlife.com)	(117)

		Workaday drudgery keeping up with the bills got you down? Well, sit back on your sackcloth, eat a piece of cake and settle in for some good old fashioned class warfare with The 10 Most Obscene Lifestyles Choices of the Fabulously Well-to-Do  (alternet.org)	(25)
		Washington state hit hard by whooping cough outbreak. If only there were some way to administer antigenic material to stimulate the immune system of children to develop adaptive immunity to it  (abcnews.go.com)	(65)
		Mitt Romney is cool with elevators for cars (at least, when they're his cars), but his record as governor of Massachusetts shows in two instances, he wasn't so hot on elevators for humans with disabilities  (newser.com)	(47)

Adam Savage's moving speech at the Reason Rally  (youtube.com)

(97)

		Ontario's Court of Appeal rules that it is unconstitutional for Canada to criminalize pimping and brothels, so long as their services are provided in both English and French  (cbc.ca)	(95)
		Karen Gillan lingerie klaatu barada nikto  (shortlist.com)	(81)
		New York City retro-hipsters aren't going to let the fact that Mad Men is filmed in Canada prevent them from hanging out in Don Draper's favorite watering holes  (travel.usatoday.com)	(37)

		Why do cicadas know prime numbers? Anyone? Anyone? *crickets*  (io9.com)	(47)
		Historic heat in North America. Note how warm it is way the heck up into Canada  (earthobservatory.nasa.gov)	(317)

		Live: Canada's Official Opposition is holding a leadership convention, and a series of high-stakes ballots are ahead to select its new leader (American readers: this is like Super Tuesday combined with a brokered convention, all on one day)  (cbc.ca)	(212)
		"She feels like a real girl and she is a real girl." Transgendered contestant booted from Miss Universe Canada pageant. Yes, you would  (thestar.com)	(561)

More good deeds from the John Edwards scandals file: During his failed White House bid in 2007, he used soccer mom madam for a hooker and paid for it with campaign cash  (dailymail.co.uk)

(120)

Montana mining town's last Madam dies at 94. She had a reputation for kindness toward her girls, but the grandmotherly figure was also a husband-shooting, tax-evading madam who once said that prostitution should be considered a commodity  (hosted.ap.org)

(60)

Canada, being a little slower than most, didn't get the memo about McDonald's Twitter debacle; fails its own way with its own Rogers hashtag  (theglobeandmail.com)

(44)

(London Free Press)

Students in Canada riot because of: a) high unemployment b) cost of tuition or c) St. Patrick's Day  (lfpress.com)

(94)

We are Romney. Lower your expectations and surrender your votes. We will add your political distinctiveness to our own. Your Tea Party will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile  (chicagotribune.com)

(35)

Dick Cheney cancels his visit to Canada over fears Canadian terrorists might be gunning for him  (slatest.slate.com)

(245)

Canada introduces mandatory prison terms for people "selling" marijuana in another move of "copy our southern neighbor's failing policy"  (cbc.ca)

(384)

10 badass things you can do one handed, if you really practice  (lifehacker.com)

(51)

(WCBS.com)		LaDainian Tomlinson introduces Mark Sanchez to the underside of the bus  (newyork.cbslocal.com)	(64)
		Suburban housewife/NYC madam's money bags has been ID'd as Morgan Stanley banker  (nypost.com)	(31)

		Secrets of a suburban housewife who just happened to be a madam in NYC catering to millionaires  (nypost.com)	(36)
		Badass three-year-old escapes from daycare after scaling seven foot tall spiked fence, making plans for next year's conquest of K2  (dailyrecord.co.uk)	(55)
		CNN asks "Is Canada the next world superpower?". Magic 8 ball replies: "Outcome seems unlikely, eh?"  (outfront.blogs.cnn.com)	(111)
		BlackBerry PlayBook now outselling iPad 2.* Also, the South will rise again. *In one chain of stores, in its home country of Canada  (theregister.co.uk)	(17)

		Researchers say some movies may increase binge drinking -- certainly anything with Adam Sandler in it  (thedenverchannel.com)	(42)
		Goldman Sachs releases statement denying they are speculating on oil and gas and thereby driving up gas prices. Unfortunately the statement is unreadable as they were apparently giggling too much to type legibly  (abcnews.go.com)	(53)

Canada's conservatives say that reports of calls used to misdirect opposition supporters to the wrong locations are hysteria. All 31,000 complaints. And there's no need to call the police  (theglobeandmail.com)

(87)

(Some Guy)

Study finds women who get frequent headaches are more likely than others to have sexual problems. So when she says not tonight, she really means it  (todayhealth.today.msnbc.msn.com)

(53)

(Some Guy)		Remember the Cigarette Smoking man from X-Files? Turns out he is also pretty badass water skier  (geekosystem.com)	(34)
		Seventeen successful adaptations of "unadaptable" books. Still no Confederacy of Dunces  (avclub.com)	(130)

Adam Sandler receives a record 11 Razzie nominations. In other news, from now on Sandler threads will appear under the Geek tab, as his movies don't qualify as entertainment  (news.yahoo.com)

(100)

(Michael Geist)

Canada disputes annual US report that it's full of pirates, beer-swilling hockey nuts, frostbitten hose-heads. Okay, only the first one  (michaelgeist.ca)

(23)

		Adam Levine defends fat chicks in Spandex  (starpulse.com)	(45)
		Badass 'Blaxploitation' stars from the 1970s: Where are they now? (Badass slideshow)  (nydailynews.com)	(72)
		Adam Levine endorses pulling out vs. condoms, which is a dangerous message to send white people in their mid-thirties  (celebitchy.com)	(50)

Wynn Resorts board muscles out co-founder Okada. Just wait until Danny Ocean and the other 10 hear about this  (cnbc.com)

(9)

		Headache cures from Chuck Norris  (wnd.com)	(67)
(The Province)		The Province (Canada) thinks that FARK had the best Jeremy Lin headline of the week (last section)  (theprovince.com)	(1)

		Interview with the inspiration for Radar O'Reilly  (youtube.com)	(11)
		TransCanada: We're gonna take your land for our pipeline, eh. North Texan: The hell you are, don't mess with Texas  (statesman.com)	(50)

Remember NBA commissioner David Stern adamantly saying they couldn't add Jeremy Lin to the All Star lineup? Well ... about that  (washingtonpost.com)

(36)

(Some Guy)

Why does Rebecca Romijn have "Wilford Brimley" diabetus cadaver feet?  (pics.wikifeet.com)

(75)

		Adam Adamowicz, concept artist for Fallout and Skyrim, passes away after losing his fight against cancer  (joystiq.com)	(117)
		Hufflepuff student on the run after unauthorised use of Avada Kedavra  (bbc.co.uk)	(25)

(Some Guy)		Sci-fi author to adapt upcoming Rush album into a novel. Swears his mind is not for rent  (ultimateclassicrock.com)	(69)
		What do Radar O'Reilly, Arnold Horshack, Goober Pyle and the Fly Girls have in common? They were each this close to being spun off into their own TV series  (mentalfloss.com)	(63)
		It's Hockey Day In Canada. For Americans: it's like the Super Bowl, but with 9 hours of hockey instead of 9 hours of pre-game shows  (cbc.ca)	(97)

Two men use a rolled-up magazine 'radar gun' in an attempt to pull over a motorist... who of course turns out to be an off-duty police officer  (cbsatlanta.com)

(40)

How many officers does it take to beat the fark out of a man in insulin shock? In Nevada, the answer is 7 or more  (dailymail.co.uk)

(409)

		Hollywood might have learned that trying to adapt board games that were invented nearly a century ago into modern blockbusters is possibly a poor idea  (nymag.com)	(109)
(Some Guy)		According to Canada Free Press, this is the U.S. Constitution's last chance unless constitutionalists rally behind Rick Santorum  (canadafreepress.com)	(81)
		Canada now officially endorses torture. This is neither a Celine Dion nor Nickelback joke  (cbc.ca)	(257)

		Romney campaign: The reason why only 33,000 people showed up to vote in Nevada is because everyone else is already satisfied with Romney and didn't need to vote to prove it  (thinkprogress.org)	(139)
		Madagascar lemurs practicing the martial arts? SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING  (dailymail.co.uk)	(38)
		In Nevada victory speech, Romney says his mission is to "save the soul of America" - presumably by letting America die and then retroactively baptising it  (news.yahoo.com)	(117)

		Will Romney score back-to-back victories? Will the Sinful State forgive Newt's angry womanizing? Will there be another Santorum surge? And what about RON PAUL? It's your official Nevada Republican caucus thread  (reuters.com)	(320)
		Today's story of incredibly excessive roaming charges comes to you from Saskatchewan, Canada  (upi.com)	(26)

		As you can see. A completely ordinary Greek debt. Now, if I just cover it with a handkerchief & say, "Abracadabra".... Hey presto All gone  (bbc.co.uk)	(70)
		February is National Children's Dental Health Month, or as it's abbreviated in Mississippi ... February  (marketwatch.com)	(23)

Having run out of regular immigrants, Canada recruits bureaucrats to pose as new Canadians for a citizenship ceremony  (abcnews.go.com)

(37)

		Hasbro negotiating to move their Candy Land movie starring Adam Sandler from Universal to Sony. I don't think there's a single part of the previous statement that doesn't fill me with rage  (hollywoodreporter.com)	(52)
		Man crashes the boards at hockey rink. While drunk. While driving the Zamboni. Surprisingly, this story does not take place in Canada  (duluthnewstribune.com)	(22)

So while we're all talking about global warming, Canada didn't have a winter this year  (cbc.ca)

(350)

		Now that Lindsay Lohan has a criminal record, she can no longer film movies in Canada  (canada.com)	(35)
		Another Club Med closes, narrowing the list of vacation destinations for balding, hairy-backed men hoping to get invited to a swinger party as they wander about the beach sucking down pina coladas while in the full throes of a mid-life crisis  (couriermail.com.au)	(42)

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