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Sun May 29, 2016
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
Police in Spokane, Washington would like to tell the vandals who smashed watermelons on cars in the middle of the night to knock it the fark off and stop wasting perfectly good watermelons
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
No, Texas, you cannot execute a man based solely on the testimony of a witness "hypnotized" by police
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Police officer gets all his ducks in a row, helps them cross the street at a busy intersection
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Join us for two hours (or maybe even more) of diverse music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Study ranks most hate filled colleges in the country based on tweets. What did we learn? Women should avoid Southeast Missouri State U., there are a lot of racist doctors in Little Rock and Husson University *really* doesn't like the gays
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Police launch hate crime investigation after pork sausages are thrown into Finsbury Park Mosque
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat May 28, 2016
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Please do not leave your children at the gorilla enclosure at the zoo. They might fall in
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I'm Muslim, don't panic" T-shirt wearer hospitalized by three obvious reasons
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poynter Institute)
 
 
 
While ($freedom_of_the_press--) { suppress($journalism) }
source: poynter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Rarely can this tag be used with such confidence
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
'Mexican Hater Judge' to unseal 150 pages of Trump University lawsuit documents
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Forty years ago tonight, just outside Austin, Pink, Don, and Wooderson were putting together a party at the moon tower. Alright, alright, alright
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sailing Grandma
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Two fingers found on North Dakota table. Search is on for bartender that wasn't quite paying enough attention in class
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Let's go over this again: If you have an outstanding warrant and you're carrying a loaded 9 mm handgun, 189.4 grams of methamphetamine in small packets, cocaine, hydrocodone, morphine, and 202.2 grams of weed, you really should follow the speed limit
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Torquay Herald Express)
 
 
 
Lifeboat crew rescue man 'bombed out of his head' at bottom of Torquay cliffs
source: torquayheraldexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Android Development Bundle. Fortunately, not by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Because we can't have nice things, here are 4 things about your summer cookout that will kill you and everyone you love
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
What a difference a little a makes
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"I had some friends from college who...would get very drunk, pull their willy out and just brush it up against people...a friend of mine once did that to Donald Trump"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
One-armed man tries to burglarize home, obviously could have used a hand
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this laser scanner deployment
source: 4.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Common sense comes to a playground in Chicago? The hell you say
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Tennessee sheriff indicted for selling e-cigarettes to prisoners in his own jail
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Rule 1 of being a getaway driver: Don't run over your wife as she is being pursued by loss prevention officers
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The case for the Earth's most intelligent animals to be granted personhood
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man shoots doctor who helped deliver his baby 'because he was a man'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Court rules divorced Italian pizza maker can pay child support in the form of free pizza, allows ex-wife to get a slice of the pie
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mmmmm...autocooked steak
source: insider.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Want to impress your friends? Eat a whole a load of 15cm nails.. Want to make the hospital staff laugh as they open you up? Eat a whole load of 15cm nails
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Not Tony Stark)
 
 
 
Niger Delta Avengers attack oil and gas pipelines in direct violation of the Sokovia Accords
source: premiumtimesng.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Virginia declares a Civil War battlefield an active crime scene. When will they just admit they lost?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Unspeakable tragedy as semi-trailer truck full of beer catches fire on Michigan highway. Authorities report that...wait, it was just Budweiser? Whew---we dodged a close one here, folks
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Modern Farmer)
 
 
 
Want to play with your food? Want to play music with your vegetables? Stick some celery up your nose and learn how to play the celery nose flute
source: modernfarmer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Of all the ways to go, dying in a hammock accident doesn't really sound so bad
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Rich people neighbor problems
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Father of the year and proud of it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The Statue of Liberty stands in New Jersey's water, the McFarthest Spot in the country is in Nevada's Sheldon National Antelope Refuge, Point Roberts, Washington can only be accessed via Canada, and other weird locations in the United States
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Dental software researcher reports security vulnerability, gets raided by FBI. This is not a drill
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
What is your favorite cookbook? What is the strangest cookbook you've ever heard of? And what are the cookbooks every cook should never be without? The Saturday Morning Book Club is hungry this week
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this waiting room wait
source: themominmemd.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
All hands on deck, it's time for Caturday to set sail
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCSH 8 Portland)
 
 
 
"Well...of course I don't believe in what the Confederates believed in," fifth-grader Grey Perham said. "But I liked it more than being in the giant blue blob"
source: wcsh6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Woman dies in freak ziplining accident. Oliver Queen inconsolable
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Plane crashes in Hudson River. Sorry, not Sully
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
What life is like in a cult
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Every now and then you come across a kid who has enough sarcasm to bring back your faith in the next generation
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Say a big Fark hello to Tropical Depression Two, soon to be the newest best buddy of the South Carolina coast
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
How much do I hear for this Trump-Bernie debate? Do I hear 5 million? Do I hear 10 million? Over there, 20 million dollars Going once, going twice
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health Grove)
 
 
 
As Boomers continue to age, guess which counties consume the most Medicare benefits in your state?
source: medicare-usage.healthgrove.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Bobby the cocker spaniel goes for a walk, falls down a well, survives for two weeks by licking condensation off the well's wall and eating insects before being found. "We took him home for scrambled eggs and a bath"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to own a 747? Do you have $415k in your rainy day fund? Then this might just be your lucky day
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Just in time for Memorial Day weekend, here is your Fark-ready headline: Man assaulted woman with package of frozen brats
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"The owner did produce a smoke alarm. It was still in its wrapping in a drawer. They don't work like that"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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