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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun September 13, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(TMZ) Amusing "Going from two Super Bowls in Pittsburgh to the winless Detroit team -- that's like going from dating Beyonce to Whoopi Goldberg"  (tmz.com) (47)
(USA Today) Misc McNabb breaks his McRibs  T-Shirt  (content.usatoday.com) (88)
(YouTube) Cool The early frontrunner for the most improbable catch of the year goes to Miami Dolphins' Greg Camarillo in using almost every body part to catch the ball  (youtube.com) (18)
(ESPN) Cool Football's longest running rivalry: Bears vs. Packers Sunday Night Football discussion thread  (espn.go.com) (1417)
(YouTube) Cool Brandon Stokley catches a tipped pass and goes 87 yards for the last second game winning TD...BONUS: Gus Johnson w/ the commentary  (bareknucks.com) (53)
(YouTube) Amusing Who knew Ric Flair was so funny? Argument about this not belonging in the sports section to the right  (youtube.com) (65)
(ESPN) Fail 0-18  (scores.espn.go.com) (98)
(ESPN) Cool The AP poll would like to say welcome back to the Michigan Wolverines. Nice to see you again  (sports.espn.go.com) (82)
(NFL.com) Cool The 2009-10 NFL season gets down to serious business with its first Sunday of games. Are you ready for a discussion thread?  (nfl.com) (lots)
(The Earth Times) Obvious How a succession of scandals is threatening to make Formula 1 interesting rather than a sedate processional held every two weeks in which Ferrari is allowed to win  (earthtimes.org) (20)
(Daily Mail) Obvious The five dumbest goal-scoring celebrations in the history of professional soccer. In related news, at least five goals have been scored in the history of professional soccer  (dailymail.co.uk) (23)
(Toronto Star) Followup Theo Fleury starts road to NHL comeback by trying out with Calgary Flames, hopes to become the only three-foot tall 41-year-old to hold the Stanley Cup  (thestar.com) (31)
(ESPN) Amusing Ohio State gets early preparation for bowl season by choking lead over USC away in the last 2 minutes of the game  (espn.go.com) (82)
(ESPN) Cool Joe Penises leads the Georgia Bulldogs to a 41-37 victory over the South Carolina Gamepenises. Cocks  (espn.go.com) (27)
(London Times) Obvious South Africa beats New Zealand to win Tri-Nations Cup rugby championship. For you American fans, rugby is what football could be if it were interesting  T-Shirt  (timesonline.co.uk) (39)
(Google) PSA Some guy named Stephen F. Austin singlehandedly defeats an entire unnamed Texas college in football 92-0  (google.com) (40)
(Fox Sports) Dumbass News: Kim Clijsters defeats Serena Williams at US Open Fark: After being penalized on match point for threatening a linesman  (msn.foxsports.com) (168)
(CBS Sports) Cool Tiger Woods bogies the first hole, says "F*ck it" and goes 10 under the rest of the round  (cbssports.com) (16)
(ESPN) Misc Michigan has Notre Dame feeling a bit blue  (espn.go.com) (65)
(Deadspin) Amusing Guys working parabolic sideline mikes at football games dish on what they hear: "Old Cajun ladies who get drunk at football games will often thumb through game programs and speculate on the c**k sizes of college athletes" (w/profanity)  (deadspin.com) (7)

Sat September 12, 2009
(Arthue Ashe) Amusing Not only is Melanie Oudin's tennis coach improving her overhead shots, he is also raising his own game by helping her mother with her stroking technique, as her father calls foul  (nbcconnecticut.com) (46)
(Yahoo) Spiffy College football week two discussion thread. Because where else can you see a game involving trojans and nuts that can be shown on broadcast TV?  (rivals.yahoo.com) (2316)
(Canoe) Unlikely Dany Heatley is a San Jose Shark. Deal is done. For real this time. We really mean it  (ottawasun.com) (53)
(With Leather) Obvious NFL's Collinsworth is Wooderson from "Dazed and Confused"  (withleather.uproxx.com) (49)
(670 The Score) Cool MJ: "One day you might look up and see me playing a game at 50, don't laugh. Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion."  (670thescore.com) (82)
(NPR) Amusing Ancient Mongolian competition ties past to present, and features what may be the absolute gayest sports uniforms ever created in the history of mankind, with the possible exception of the 1980's Houston Astros  T-Shirt  (npr.org) (25)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Will upstart Spurs knock off United? Can City withstand the Arsenal onslaught? All this plus a Portsmouth / Bolton race to the bottom in this week's EPL thread  (dailymail.co.uk) (76)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing How excited are Buckeye fans to take another beating in a big game? Scalpers for Saturday's Ohio State-USC game at Ohio Stadium can barely get face value for their seats  (sportsbybrooks.com) (107)
(Fox Sports) Asinine 10 games that will decide the 2009 NFL season. The other 502 are just for fun  (msn.foxsports.com) (71)
(Abc.net.au) Followup South Africa threatens to start World War III. Sounds like someone is suffering a testosterone imbalance  (abc.net.au) (140)

Fri September 11, 2009
(ESPN) Followup The DA decides that Shawne Merriman tried to do the world a service in choking out Tila Tequila, dismisses charges  (sports.espn.go.com) (60)
(Deadspin) Spiffy Boxing Promoter: "UFC are a bunch of skinhead white guys watching people in the ring who also look like skinhead white guys."  (deadspin.com) (65)
(AP) Hero Golf hotness Paula Creamer ditches her trademark pink color scheme to don the red, white, and blue to mark 9/11  (hosted.ap.org) (40)
(SFGate) Sad Co-owner of the Charlotte Bobcats dead in a small plane crash. No not that one, the other one  (sfgate.com) (30)
(Deadspin) Fail In what is in no way a metaphor for how the Bears' season will go, groundscrew paints the team logo on the 45 yard line instead of the 50 (pic)  (deadspin.com) (97)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Unlikely Even though the only rosters he has been on since 2002 have been for correctional facilities, 38-year-old J.R. Rider wants to make an NBA comeback  (startribune.com) (21)
(ESPN) Cool Dodgers can't get Rockies out of rear-view mirror as Colorado wins 7th straight  (sports.espn.go.com) (24)
(The Wiz of Odds.com) Amusing Nebraska's 2009 football poster schedule, which offers a historical look at the program, has one glaring omission: Bill Callahan  (thewizofodds.com) (68)
(ESPN) Weird Not Weird: Georgia Tech's Scott Blair throws a 34-yard touchdown pass against Clemson. Weird: He also kicks the game-winning field goal  (sports.espn.go.com) (58)
(ESPN) Cool John Stockton will be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame today, along with David Robinson and some other guys you've never heard of  (myespn.go.com) (87)
(Some Guy) PSA F1 Team Management Tip: If you ask your driver to deliberately crash his race car to help his teammate win a race, don't assume that he'll keep quiet about it if you fire him  (thecheckeredflag.co.uk) (25)
(Yahoo) Followup Sportswriters dust off their yearly Madden Curse stories as Troy Polamalu is sidelined for 3-6 weeks  (sports.yahoo.com) (86)
(ESPN) Fail Not News: Steelers win opener...despite Vince McMahon choosing the refs for the opening game of the NFL season. News: without Hair Polamalu. Fark: In OT; only because Goodell was in the skybox  (espn.go.com) (236)
(TSN) Unlikely Mike Comrie returns to Edmonton, promises not to sleep with Mrs. Khabibulin  (tsn.ca) (45)
(Wall Street Journal) Unlikely "In an ideal world, beer prices at the ballpark would be based solely on the quality of the team"  (online.wsj.com) (32)
(Deadspin) Sick After enduring 18 years of rape, brainwash, living like a backyard dog and always wondering if you will live to see the next day or your real family again ... Jaycee Dugard, let me catch you up on what's happened in the world of sports  (deadspin.com) (55)

Thu September 10, 2009
(Daily Mail) Followup Caster Semenya test results are in. Oh boy  (dailymail.co.uk) (142)
(ESPN) Followup Guy who ran across Citi Field naked gets 1 year ban, $3000 in fines, and a dozen roses from Bruce the usher  (sports.espn.go.com) (27)
(670 The Score) Unlikely NFL is taking care of you if your team has a game blacked out this season. You will be able to watch it. After midnight. Online  (670thescore.stats.com) (603)
(Ledger Enquirer) Scary Saban wins battle in War of Coach's Salaries by once again passing Carroll, Weis and Meyer to become the highest paid coach in college football  (ledger-enquirer.com) (95)
(Yahoo) Cool Getting drafted in the first round by the Chargers: $13.4 million. Buying the whole team dinner: Priceless....oh wait, it was $14,508.67  (backporch.fanhouse.com) (150)
(Albany Times Union) Unlikely There's a new college sports powerhouse on the horizon: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, whose football team even as we speak is calculating how much Duke sucks to 12 quintillion decimal places  (timesunion.com) (46)
(Washington Post) Sad Oudone  (washingtonpost.com) (55)

Wed September 09, 2009
(Boston Herald) Obvious T.O. doesn't like it when he can't huddle with other men  (bostonherald.com) (58)
(ESPN) Obvious After the dudes in the Brett Favre Wrangler commercial post better numbers than the Denver Broncos in the exhibition season, the Broncos hope to sign Brandon Marshall long-term  (sports.espn.go.com) (33)
(ESPN) Amusing Possible reasons the Bengals are consistently so bad: Their best wide receiver is spending too much time finding loopholes in the NFL "Tweeting" policy. Amusing tag is for everything Ochocinco does, so long as he's not on my team  (sports.espn.go.com) (55)
(ESPN) Cool Alexander Ovechkin on the possibilty that the NHL will disalllow players from participating in the 2014 Olympics, held in Russia: "If somebody says to me you can't play, see ya"  (sports.espn.go.com) (99)
(Philly) Interesting Every time the Redskins tackle Michael Vick during an upcoming Eagles game, a DC pet shelter gets 5 bags of dog food. Note: The Redskins defense was ranked 24th in the preseason, so dogs may go hungry  (philly.com) (95)
(Major League Baseball) Cool To the delight of Mets fans everywhere, Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez finally STFU  (newyork.mets.mlb.com) (44)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Thanks to random Tweet, speculation mounts in media that LeGarrette Blount was called n-word by Boise State player Byron Hout  (sportsbybrooks.com) (137)
(Some Guy) Followup Shoeless Joe Jackson and the other Black Sox may be innocent  (bases.nbcsports.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Followup Nashville Predators owner sentenced to five years for bad checks, team  (cbssports.com) (48)
(670 The Score) Fail "I'm not saying that he'll close tomorrow, the next day or whatever but I look at him as a closer." That's code for Brad Lidge is about to lose his closing gig  (670thescore.stats.com) (42)
(CNN) Unlikely Woman accusing Ben Roethlisberger of rape: I'll dismiss the lawsuit if you admit you raped me, say you're sorry, and donate $100,000 to a domestic violence shelter  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (161)
(WTAM) Interesting Indians star Grady Sizemore has athletic pubalgia. It's not what I thought either  (wtam.com) (9)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Stupid Marriott: We don't care about your amazing upsets at the US Open, Ms. Oudin. Your reservation is up, so you're out of here  (nbclosangeles.com) (108)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious After being charged with his third DUI since '99, recently-fired Kentucky hoops coach Billy Gillispie checks into substance abuse center in Houston  (sportsbybrooks.com) (10)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Swishalicious  (newyork.yankees.mlb.com) (63)
(Yahoo) Cool The sickest dunk you'll see today, this week...heck, possibly ever  (sports.yahoo.com) (92)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting There'll be free prostate exams at Yankee Stadium before Wednesday's game. A-Rod currently asleep outside First Aid Station  (blogs.courant.com) (20)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Cubs tie MLB record with eight consecutive hits in the first inning. Other teams that have accomplished this feat are the Yankees, Athletics, Pirates, Phillies, and Chris Brown  (chicago.cubs.mlb.com) (43)

Tue September 08, 2009
(Orlando Sentinel) Strange NASCAR hermaphrodite publishes memoirs. No, it's not called "The Perfect Jerry Springer Guest"  (blogs.orlandosentinel.com) (30)
(ESPN) Dumbass ESPN NFL Power Rankings include Seattle being better than Dallas and a team with a QB who missed virtually all of last year ranked at #2  (espn.go.com) (343)
(ESPN) Stupid Alabama, the only team in the top 5 to actually play and beat a top 10 team, only gets 2 first place votes  (sports.espn.go.com) (152)
(670 The Score) Unlikely We're still 2 weeks away from confirmation that world class runner Caster Semenya is truly Caster Sewomenya  (670thescore.stats.com) (43)
(ESPN) PSA Michael Vick tells students to avoid peer pressure, not to drown dogs, how to smuggle prison contraband  (sports.espn.go.com) (29)
(CNN) Spiffy Complete rundown of this season's NFL pregame and broadcast teams, though CBS's pregame crew may be down one once Dan Marino snaps and strangles Boomer Esiason  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (80)
(The New York Times) Spiffy Have a strong leg? Look good in green and white? Willing to join a team of losers just to be in the NFL? You, too, can be a punter for the Jets  (fifthdown.blogs.nytimes.com) (41)
(Delaware Online) Amusing Manager of first place NL East team worried that his team is becoming complacent after losing five of their last six games and scoring only 17 runs in their last nine games. No, this is not a repeat of 2007 or 2008  (delawareonline.com) (25)
(USA Today) Scary Are ya ready for some figure skating? ESPN prepares to make blow-out bid for TV rights to 2014 and 2016 Olympics  (usatoday.com) (70)
(USA Today) Asinine Kentucky high school coach takes the football team on a field trip to his church, gets half of them baptised. Surprisingly, some parents have a problem with this  (usatoday.com) (285)
(Miami Herald) Florida Only the tattoo inside his upper lip hinted at his regal bloodline: Freedom's Flight, descendant of Triple Crown winners Seattle Slew and Secretariat  (miamiherald.com) (29)

Mon September 07, 2009
(CBS News) Spiffy Detriot Lions choose rookie Matt Stafford to lead the team to another perfect season  (cbsnews.com) (79)
(670 The Score) Strange Eric Man-genius picks his QB, won't name him. Presumably, he understands it has to be one of the QBs on the Brown's roster  (670thescore.stats.com) (38)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Fail With today's 4-2 loss to the Cubs, the Pirates have been mathematically eliminated from Major League Baseball  (pittsburghpostgazette.com) (50)
(670 The Score) Cool Now that the Bears have an actual top-line, NFL quarterback, can you name all the stiffs who tried and mostly failed, since Jim McMahon? Here's help  (670thescore.com) (106)
(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Phillies use 4-game series with the Astros to extend NL East lead. Just kidding, they got swept  (chron.com) (27)
(Arnold Slick) Cool Two years ago Sid the Kid delivers woman's season tickets to her. She tells him that the Pens won't win the Stanley Cup that year, but they will the next year. He delivers her season tickets again this year. And brings the Stanley Cup  (post-gazette.com) (66)
(Some Guy) Ironic Baseball player shoots coach during a league game created to prevent violence  (chicagotribune.com) (31)
(Yahoo) Obvious Spanish rider Alejandro Valverde takes lead of Tour de Spain in latest bicycle news that Americans don't give a rat's ass about because their guy only rides in one race a year  (uk.eurosport.yahoo.com) (37)
(NJ.com) Obvious NY Jets pick up the QB thought to be the heir apparent to Tom Brady earlier this summer. Sadly this is not from 2008  (nj.com) (32)
(YouTube) Fail Proof that Ellis Lanksdale of the Buffalo Bills has played one too many games without his helmet  (youtube.com) (56)
(ESPN) Dumbass Sir Alex Ferguson is the winner of the first managerial "Foot In Mouth Award"  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (33)

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