FARK.com: Sports links -- Archives for 2009-08-23

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Sun August 23, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		El Hombre hits his 40th homerun. This is not a repeat from 2003, 2004, 2005 or 2006 (stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com)	(50)
		NY Mess continue creating highlights for other teams' season DVDs by hitting into a walk-off unassisted triple play to end the game (w/video) (mlb.mlb.com)	(58)
(Some Guy)		The worst seat at the new Dallas stadium is not 80% empty. It's 20% full of peace without distractions from that back and forth on the other part of the field (wayner.org)	(146)
		Has Ichiro singled himself into Hall worthiness? (msn.foxsports.com)	(130)
		Finally a boxer calls out the promoter and the fight judges after being robbed in favor of the home-town boy. Boxing decisions should not be political. Not safe for work language (youtube.com)	(107)
		Epic Fail doesn't even begin to describe Lou Holtz (myespn.go.com)	(85)
		Looks like that "Famous Jewish Sports Legends" pamphlet may need a new edition (sacbee.com)	(30)
		In buying the Chicago Cubs, the Ricketts family will "inherit one fine mess," which sounds better than "inheriting one hundred and one years of consistent failure." (chicagotribune.com)	(32)
(Some Denver Fan)		The Kansas City Chiefs spent their offseason making a spoof of "The Office." Still no cure for finishing dead last in the AFC West (blitzcorner.com)	(51)
		Buy that lottery ticket, prepare for the Rapture, do whatever it is you do when strange times are upon you...for the Pirates are no longer in last place (espn.go.com)	(23)
		"Brett Favre is a swiftboat. He's a political football. He's a tactic in a $700 million negotiation with Minnesota taxpayers." (kansascity.com)	(43)
		Day four of The Ashes final test. Will England choke? Can Australia perform a miracle? Link goes to over-by-over report (news.bbc.co.uk)	(37)
(The Wiz of Odds)		Singer-songwriter Bill Withers makes an appearance at a USC team meeting. He first pranks the players, then helps lead them in singing "Lean On Me" (thewizofodds.com)	(7)
		St. Louis Cardinals, with the 7-0 victory over the Padres tonight, become the 4th MLB franchise to reach 10,000 wins in its history. Oh, and the Cubs lost (stltoday.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)		For the first time ever, NASCAR drivers have intro music. Here's a complete list of those selections. Scott Wimmer FTW (hamptonroads.com)	(61)
		Michael Beasley: Before circulating a photo of your new tattoo, might want to remove weed from the frame (sportsbybrooks.com)	(28)
		15 hits. 14 runs. A bigger run differential than Friday's game. No lube (sports.espn.go.com)	(296)

Sat August 22, 2009

(Some Guy)	Irish cricket team beats Scotland. But then, who can't? (breakingnews.ie)	(13)
	Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt says MLB's inconsistency on gambling vs. steroids is keeping Pete Rose out of the Hall Of Fame but may permit A-Rod, Manny, and Mark McGwire to get in (sports.espn.go.com)	(51)
	Florida Gators receive 58 of 60 first-place votes to be #1 on the AP Preseason Poll. Duke Sucks (sports.espn.go.com)	(85)
	Newspaper clears up athlete gender controversy once and for all, discovers "Caster Semenya" is an anagram of "Yes a secret man". Case closed (mirror.co.uk)	(18)
	Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's biatch (nypost.com)	(12)
	How will United play after their shock loss to Burnley? Will Spurs continue their hot start? EPL week two is here (dailymail.co.uk)	(93)
	Jerry Jones thinks it will be fun that his low hanging POS video screen will be constantly hit by punts (sports.espn.go.com)	(153)
	Did you ever stop and think, Gosh it really must be depressing to be an Oakland A? Well, you were right (sports.espn.go.com)	(21)
	Michael Irvin will crack some sweet ass moves on Dancing With the Stars. Put that in your pipe and smoke it (dfw.com)	(13)
	Favre debuts for Vikes to a standing ovation, 2 series, 1 out of 4, 4 yards, and announced his retirement, and scheduled his un-retirement for the day before the next game (670thescore.stats.com)	(59)
	Tim Wakefield pronounces himself 'ready' after one rehab start. He should know, he's been pitching for 96 years (670thescore.stats.com)	(11)
	20 runs. 23 hits. No lube (nj.com)	(198)

Fri August 21, 2009

	Mario Kart like power ups come to Indycar racing in the form of a "push-to-pass" button in cars (wired.com)	(30)
	If you are a major league pitcher it might be a good idea to call a time out before you throw a scuffed ball into your dugout (sports.yahoo.com)	(16)
	Cubs booked and done for $845 million (online.wsj.com)	(24)
	Aaron Maybin signs with Buffalo Bills, leaving Michael Crabtree and Andre Smith as only remaining unsigned 1st-round picks. Hmm, maybe Oakland knew something when they passed over Crabtree (sports.yahoo.com)	(38)
	More and more NFL teams are moving tailgaters farther and farther away from the stadium. "I've had nightmares about this" (dallasnews.com)	(31)
	Hall of Famer Jim Rice lets Little Leaguers know which current Major Leaguers should stay off his lawn (sports.espn.go.com)	(50)
	Today's NFL player's arrest is brought to you by the Tennesee Titans (blogs.usatoday.com)	(68)
	In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the (near) cellar (scores.espn.go.com)	(52)
(Some Wisconsin Guy)	Much as a psycho ex-girlfriend stalks her prey, Green Bay TV stations to broadcast at least 8 Vikings games this season (greenbaypressgazette.com)	(41)
	Amusement park building roller coaster named after Dale Earnhardt. Because who wouldn't want to go on a ride named after a guy who died in a car accident? (sports.yahoo.com)	(45)
	Jaguars announce blackout of the whole stinking season (jacksonville.com)	(107)
(Lohud.com)	A Yankees-themed wake - with pic that Red Sox and Mets fans will considerately not use out of context for all eternity (lohud.com)	(430)
	Adding insult to injury, NFL announces that Plaxico Burress is suspended indefinitely while he rots in jail (blogs.usatoday.com)	(63)
(TheHerald.co.uk)	Britain's only professional matador mounting comeback at 65 despite history of injuries including broken legs, multiple rib fractures, gored anus (theherald.co.uk)	(38)
	You know how you know you suck? When you're cut by the New York Mets (sports.espn.go.com)	(36)
	Notre Dame, who once played the best teams in college football, is playing Nevada, UConn, Washington and Washington State. Next year's schedule to include Prarie View A&M, Indiana School for the Deaf and Blind, and the Detroit Lions (indystar.com)	(138)
	3 receptions, 69 yards...and one extra point? Esteban Ochocinco invades special teams in preseason game (boston.com)	(69)

Thu August 20, 2009

	Mike Hampton placed on DL after injuring ... (spins wheel) ... right shoulder ... (bonus spin) ... and right knee (houston.astros.mlb.com)	(12)
	Nevada boxing commission votes to use instant replay. Nevada boxing commission votes to use instant replay. Nevada boxing commission votes to use instant replay (sports.espn.go.com)	(16)
	19.19 (sports.espn.go.com)	(110)
	A tale of two kiddies (playing Little League baseball) - one wins the Good Sportsmanship award, the other has a mom who sues the coach and the league for sending the kid to second on a hit (sports.espn.go.com)	(68)
	Shaq vs. Steve Nash's stolen idea (azcentral.com)	(45)
	NCAA allows free bagels for college athletes, but draws the line at cream cheese (sportsbybrooks.com)	(16)
	To succeed in framing an NFL quarterback of rape, you should make certain you never tried to make your ex-boyfriend jealous with email taunts about trying to get said quarterback to "go deep into your endzone for the winning score" (rgj.com)	(62)
	Plaxico Burress gets two-year contract to be receiver (detnews.com)	(122)
	Ridiculous contract given to Washington Nationals' top draft pick Stephen Strasburg may force MLB to adopt NBA-like draft system (sports.yahoo.com)	(127)
(AsiaOne)	Baseball players for the "Nippon Ham Fighters" have contracted Swine Flu (news.asiaone.com)	(15)
	Remember the record-setting 38 wins the Memphis basketball team had in 2007-08? Apparently, they didn't happen (rivals.yahoo.com)	(67)
(WWL)	Reggie Bush re-gains 130 pounds while at training camp (wwl.com)	(34)
	Ashes 5th (and final) Test. Can England recoup some dignity after the 4th Test? No worries, they still have the ODIs to squander (10:00am GMT) (telegraph.co.uk)	(53)
	The Evil Empire of MLB is back, and the sport is all the better for it (nbcsports.msnbc.com)	(121)
	Caster Semenya wins gold in the women's 800m, hangs medal on her weener to celebrate. Lady Gaga unavailable for comment (dailymail.co.uk)	(51)

Wed August 19, 2009

		Nationals hope stadium capacity can be expanded to 15 million (670thescore.stats.com)	(26)
		Florida Marlins become the first team since the 1937 St. Louis Browns to get 10+ hits in 14 straight games. Wait, Florida has a baseball team? (palmbeachpost.com)	(45)
		.300 (latimes.com)	(71)
		John Smoltz leaning toward Cards. Probably pinochle or bridge down at the senior center (sports.espn.go.com)	(97)
		Pedro Martinez and Jamie Moyer combine for 5-1 four-hitter, eight strikeouts, no walks, and 83 years of age (sports.yahoo.com)	(22)
		Giants play an away game against the Reds in Bizzaro world, where Lincecum gets dinged for 5 runs and only throws 2 Ks, their offense comes back from a deficit and they win because of clutch hitting (sports.yahoo.com)	(26)
		What do drug dealers, gang members and pornographers have in common with the Dodgers? Answer: The club's new star of team-sponsored advertising campaign (sportsbybrooks.com)	(32)
		Officials wonder if top female athlete is really a guy because of his/her facial hair and muscle build (w/ 'decide for yourself' picture) (news.com.au)	(101)
		Mets set a new record with ten hits in one inning, and for once the players hit the ball instead of the other way around (mlb.mlb.com)	(19)
		Jets 'has yet to win a game in the NFL' Coach Rex Ryan, taking more shots at 'certain Hall of Fame' Patriots Coach Bill Belichick. Tag is for likelihood that Rex Ryan will make the Hall of fame (670thescore.stats.com)	(119)

Tue August 18, 2009

		Red Wings increase their douche quotient by signing Bertuzzi (sports.espn.go.com)	(108)
		Toronto Maple Leafs' assistant coach wins almost $100K in lottery, still has to watch the Leafs play every game (thestar.com)	(26)
		Video of the only guy to strike out Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Brooks Robinson, Maury Wills, Harmon Killebrew and Roberto Clemente...in succession (youtube.com)	(59)
		Brett Favre, who was retired, then unretired, then retired, then unretired, the retired again, has unretired. Again (blogs.usatoday.com)	(763)
		Freddy Garcia making his return to the majors tonight. Could make a fresh start by asking to be called "Fred", he is after all, 32 years old (670-thescore.com)	(25)
		Cubs' closer Kevin Gregg is the new Carlos Marmol, or as they're known to the opposing team, "Our MVP" (chicagotribune.com)	(33)
		Celtic v Arsenal is the latest Battle of Britain Champions League tie, while Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United all play midweek EPL games (news.bbc.co.uk)	(96)
		Left turn, right turn, straight for 700 meters, left turn, HORSE (telegraph.co.uk)	(27)
		Team Canada Olympic hockey jersey had to be redesigned because IOC is cracking down on corporate logos of national teams. Thankfully, the new jersey comes with Nike swoosh which is A-OK with the IOC (ctvolympics.ca)	(31)
		Nats sign top pitching prospect Strasburg to record-setting $15.7 Million deal. That works out to approximately $365k for every Nats win this season, or $100k for every Nats fan (washingtonpost.com)	(68)
		Pissed at all the other teams getting attention, the Raider's coach Raiders coach Tom Cable beats up his assistant (sfgate.com)	(49)
		NASCAR's credibility takes another massive hit (sports.espn.go.com)	(67)

Mon August 17, 2009

	GOP the party of choice for most NFL players, who became millionaires through advances made by the player's union (deadspin.com)	(67)
	"I was suprised how big it was when I took my pants off." (scores.espn.go.com)	(33)
	Former skiing champion Picabo Street welcomes baby boy. She had some minor complications in the intensive care unit, but was discharged from the Picabo ICU (universalsports.com)	(37)
	You just knew this story was Favre from over (msn.foxsports.com)	(62)
	Turns out Donovan McNabb was the one who urged coach Andy Reid to sign Michael Vick to the Eagles (fannation.com)	(52)
	Rex Grossman proving to Houston fans that he is every bit the QB he was in Chicago (670thescore.stats.com)	(36)
	CBS puts up Fantasy Football league for Farkers. Sign up, then crush your enemies week after week. Time to put up or shut up (Sponsored link) (cbssports.com)	(193)
	"Brady Quinn might own a wide lead in the quarterback competition if his two series in Green Bay netted 10 points, as they should have, instead of zero." (cleveland.com)	(37)
(Soccerway)	Danish soccer player in coma after being struck by lightning. Fans say it's nearly as scary as the one time the same player was hospitalized after being brushed lightly by an opponent (soccerway.com)	(11)
	Your top pro wrestling star has just gotten charged with stalking and HGH possession, and potentionally faces 60 days in prision. Do you A) fire him? B) make him drop the belt, then go on hiatus, or TNA) Have him win the championship? (examiner.com)	(66)
	Belichick to NFL: I'm afraid the Death Star is fully operational (sports.yahoo.com)	(167)
	Stephon Marbury smokes weed on camera, says it's OK because he's not under contract. NBA GMs happy to let him continue (blogs.nypost.com)	(47)
	The Texas Rangers lead the wild-card by half a game. This headline will self-destruct in less than 24 hours (670thescore.stats.com)	(106)