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Sun August 09, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(CNN) Spiffy Nationals fan plays "The Star-Spangled Banner" before game on homemade baseball-bat violin, making it the most effective use of a baseball bat by anyone affiliated with the Washington Nationals so far this year  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (44)
(Some Guy) Cool Preseason NFL starts tonight. So is subby crazy to be betting on the Bills?  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (261)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Market researcher tries to determine which major leagues baseball club offers the most value to fans. Mets fans will be pleased to discover the cost of beer at Citi Field is decent when compared to the on-field product  (beyondtheboxscore.com) (19)
(ESPN) PSA If you're a multi-millionaire hockey superstar, don't punch a cabbie in the face and steal your fare back because he can't give you 20 cents change for your $15  (sports.espn.go.com) (69)
(ESPN) Interesting Kurt Rambis clotheslines Kevin McHale, becomes Timberwolves' head coach  (sports.espn.go.com) (16)
(Daily Mail) Obvious 10th Annual Sauna World Championships take place in Finland, proving there is a sport more boring than NASCAR  (dailymail.co.uk) (16)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious "Make no mistake, a successful return to the NHL for Theo Fleury - a 5-foot-6, out-of-shape 41-year-old who has been playing beer-league hockey the past few years - would be a wonderful story. But it's not going to happen"  (torontosun.com) (18)
(CBS Sacramento) Fail If you hope to get a big payday by accusing an NFL quarterback of rape, it might be best to avoid telling your co-workers how awesome the sex was  (cbs13.com) (76)
(Yahoo) Fail Marian Hossa receives his day with the Stanley Cap  (sports.yahoo.com) (26)
(Boston Herald) Cool All that talk of Anderson Silva being washed up? Yeah, not so much  (bostonherald.com) (62)
(ESPN) Hero Remembering a legend. Three words: Roenick NHL 94. Head still bleeding there, Great One?  (sports.espn.go.com) (40)
(Major League Baseball) Video Braves strike em out throw em out, double play against Dodgers..., wait... what?  (mlb.mlb.com) (33)
(ESPN) Spiffy The Natinals are making a serious case to earn back their "o", win 7th straight  (espn.go.com) (25)
(Cleveland) Cool It might be close to Cleveland -- and home to many Browns fans -- but on Saturday night, Canton transformed into a Bills town  (cleveland.com) (26)
(Yahoo) Amusing Lock up the booze and the pills, or at least put them on a high shelf: Theoren Fleury preparing for an NHL comeback  (sports.yahoo.com) (18)

Sat August 08, 2009
(Yahoo) Sad The addition of Victor Martinez is paying dividends offensively for the Red Sox. Just kidding, they get shut out for the second straight game and 24 innings total  (sports.yahoo.com) (62)
(CNN) Dumbass After his remarkable failure as a player in the MLS, David Beckham will try to own a team  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (20)
(New Zealand Herald) Obvious Why the New Zealand All-Blacks suck worse than the Toronto Maple Leafs  (nzherald.co.nz) (15)
(Free Press) Amusing Umpire tosses Twins manager, then gives it back as good as he gets it post-game: "If he wants to learn what is a balk, he can come down in January to umpire school and we'll teach him."  (freep.com) (23)
(Race Card) Dumbass And here we go...Jesse Jackson accuses NFL of conspiring against Micahel Vick  (nfl.fanhouse.com) (80)
(ESPN) Followup David Ortiz's investigation turns up paydirt - 8 names on the list of 104 actually did not test positive for steroids  (sports.espn.go.com) (247)
(Mirror.co.uk) Obvious British sporting events to provide dumbed-down play-by-play on televised sports events so children can follow along, imitating the success of Brent Musberger's commentary on American football  (mirror.co.uk) (21)
(Bundesliga.de) Spiffy Der Ball ist rund: The return of your weekly Bundesliga thread - Week 1  (bundesliga.de) (20)
(Telegraph) Spiffy England not so chipper now Australia has bowlers. The Ashes, day two, fourth Test. Let's watch the Aussie batsmen destroy the English stiff upper lip  (telegraph.co.uk) (36)
(ESPN) Spiffy A-Rod welcomes Red Sox rookie pitcher Tazawa to the bigs with a bottom of the 15th walk-off two-run homer  (espn.go.com) (73)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Fan at PNC Park falls over railing and onto field, landing on his face. The first person to show up to help? Baseball Jesus  (stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com) (35)
(WTAM) Sad Cleveland Indians' fire sale continues: Carl Pavano traded to Minnesota for half a cigarette, two nickels and a button  (wtam.com) (22)
(Yahoo) Sad Jason Giambi officially given the Old Yeller treatment by the Oakland A's  (sports.yahoo.com) (12)
(Seattle Times) Followup Mariners fight strip club opening near ballpark, eliminating the most likely way their team will get to second base  T-Shirt  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (18)

Fri August 07, 2009
(670 The Score) Dumbass Rose wilts under the spotlight  (670thescore.stats.com) (53)
(670 The Score) Fail Indians' owner says his team will lose $16M this year, is hoping to get into the 'cash for clunkers' program  (670thescore.stats.com) (32)
(670 The Score) Dumbass Ortiz to follow in others footsteps. Will speak about '03 drug test without actually saying anything about it  (670thescore.stats.com) (36)
(670 The Score) Hero Jeremy Roenick retires after 20 years in the NHL. 1 of 4 American players with 500 goals  (670thescore.stats.com) (80)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Andre Ethier hits his 3rd walk-off homer of the season; Dodgers stun Braves, Chipper unchipper  (mlb.mlb.com) (42)
(ESPN) Sad John Smoltz gets beat like a rented mule in a 13-6 drubbing at the hands of the New York Yankees  (espn.go.com) (316)

Thu August 06, 2009
(Yahoo) Obvious Donte Stallworth says he'll accept any NFL ruling on how to discipline him. Because, you know, he has a choice  (sports.yahoo.com) (38)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Titans to wear helmet decal honoring Steve McNair. Surprisingly, many fans are ticked off about the tribute  (sportsbybrooks.com) (108)
(CNN) Amusing Klitschko to Fight Arreola. That Boob  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (31)
(670 The Score) Spiffy Phillip Rivers expects deal to get done with Chargers. Sticking point appears to be Bolts' reluctance to put "We heart Phil" on the helmets  (670thescore.stats.com) (94)
(LAist) Amusing Shaq will probably be walking two miles in a pink Speedo next week  (laist.com) (35)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Obvious With a chance to grab a full-game lead over St. Louis, the mighty Cubs...revert to form and are shut out by a godawful Cincinnati team starting a ham-and-egger who hadn't been in the bigs for three years  (news.cincinnati.com) (56)
(670 The Score) Followup Pedro Martinez strikes out 11 in rehab start. Last phase of prep for the majors concludes with 'throwing Don Zimmer to the ground' drills  (670thescore.stats.com) (27)
(CNN) Amusing "I don't really have a Twitter policy," Denver coach Josh McDaniels said. "I don't know what it means; I don't know what it is. I don't know MyFace, Spacebook, Facebook stuff."  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (59)
(Boston Channel) Strange If you have taken a 7-foot-tall bronze statue of Dennis Rodman, the Vermont State Police would like to have a word with you  (thebostonchannel.com) (16)
(ESPN) Dumbass Ortiz looking for info on positive PED test, will let OJ know if he stumbles across the real killer  (sports.espn.go.com) (428)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing A cat frolics on the field at a Royals game, finally giving Royals fans something worthwhile to watch  (kansascity.royals.mlb.com) (58)

Wed August 05, 2009
(Yahoo) Dumbass NFL's "# of Days Since Last Arrest" counter reset to zero thanks to Philadelphia Eagles DE Juqua Parker  (sports.yahoo.com) (33)
(New York Daily News) Sad And the latest Mets player to go on the DL is... *shakes magic 8-ball*... rookie SP Jon Niese. Mr. Met starts desperately warming up in the bullpen  (nydailynews.com) (36)
(gainesville.com) Spiffy "If the Vikings aren't creative, [Percy] Harvin will be a decoy and kick returner. If they are creative, Harvin will have a chance to be a part of more strange formations than the rocks at Stonehenge"  (gatorsports.com) (47)
(Autoblog) Interesting Since nobody could compete with them in GT1, Corvette Racing to run new GT2 C6.R in American Le Mans Series starting this weekend at Mid-Ohio  (autoblog.com) (33)
(TwinCities.com) Interesting NFL rejects contract for Minnesota's first-round draft pick, WR Percy Harvin, presumably because they still can't figure out how Darrius Heyward-Bey was the first WR taken in the draft  (blogs.twincities.com) (50)
(New York Daily News) Cool Dear Colorado, thank you for trading Matt Holliday. Dear Cubs, thank you for offloading Mark DeRosa. Sincerely, your true First Place St. Louis Cardinals. PS, did you see that Pujols grand slam?  (nydailynews.com) (114)
(DERF Magazine) Amusing Pete Rose declared eligible for Hair Dye Hall of Fame  (derfmagazine.com) (11)
(WLKY) Strange Churchill Downs flooded. Kentucky Derby to be replaced with water polo  (wlky.com) (5)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Reggie Wayne shows up at Colts camp in dump truck & dressed as construction worker. Also calls Peyton Manning "The Janitor"  (sportsbybrooks.com) (10)
(670 The Score) Amusing Dwayne Wade demands changes or else...nothing happens  (670thescore.stats.com) (5)
(670 The Score) Silly Giants make wrong Manning the highest paid player in the NFL  (670thescore.stats.com) (287)
(BBC) Obvious Latest thing to upset Muslims? German soccer anthem that suggests Mohammed would cheer for their team if he were still alive. Muslims argue he'd be a Bayern supporter  (news.bbc.co.uk) (22)
(Some Guy) Interesting Where has Joe DiMaggio gone? To a San Francisco art gallery to pose nude  (rickyretro.blogspot.com) (6)
(NBC DFW) Interesting Cowboys plan on selling up to 35,000 standing-room-only tickets to every home game, So, for just $29, you can watch Tony Romo choke while milling around and drinking watery beer  (nbcdfw.com) (70)
(670 The Score) Unlikely Hammerin' Hank wants the names on the latest, leakiest steroid list released, and wants Pete Rose reinstated  (670thescore.stats.com) (59)
(SFGate) Amusing Matt Leinart calls Kurt Warner "old"  (sfgate.com) (74)
(USA Today) Dumbass San Diego Chargers CB becomes the latest sports star to discover that, yes indeed, the little rants you post on Twitter can be held against you  (usatoday.com) (19)
(London Times) Interesting FA will start taking the severity of injuries - especially those crippling knee injuries caused by another player getting within five feet - into account when handing out suspensions in Euopean Grass Diving matches  (timesonline.co.uk) (15)
(670 The Score) Unlikely Manny gets plunked, then Prince gets plunked, then it gets out of hand  (670thescore.stats.com) (46)
(Seattle Times) Obvious Soccer fan Drew Carey expounds on why FC Barcelona is superior to Real Madrid. "What they represent to me is that rebelliousness and to keep fighting against the man"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (69)
(ESPN) Followup That Vick to the Packers rumor? Yeah, not so much  (sports.espn.go.com) (47)
(ESPN) Obvious Sir Alex Ferguson writes of Liverpool's titles chances, declares Chelsea biggest threat to Man United's Premier League crown  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (71)
(Fox Sports) Amusing If you've been sniffing around for news of Tiger Woods' Fartgate, there's been a new development. It wasn't Tiger that cut the cheese, it was CBS announcer David Feherty  (msn.foxsports.com) (50)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing Josh Johnson retires 20 straight batters to help the Marlins cruise to another victory over the Nationals. Just kidding - they give up six runs in the bottom of the eighth to blow the shutout and lose to DC for the first time this whole season  (washington.nationals.mlb.com) (17)

Tue August 04, 2009
(Denver Post) Dumbass Denver Nuggets fans worry that JR Smith's Twitter page indicates he's a member of the Bloods street gang. Either that, or his spelling really, really sucks  (denverpost.com) (99)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting All that worry about how the 3-point line moving would change college hoops? Yeah, it didn't do anything  (sportingnews.com) (33)
(USA Today) Obvious Recession proving to be Bad Medicine for AFL, reportedly close to going down in a Blaze of Glory, both fans Shot Through the Heart and crying "Say it isn't So because It's Hard Letting You Go."  (blogs.usatoday.com) (36)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Lou Holtz eyeing Republican Congressional run. "You put him in the ring and it's all but over." New York Jets concur  (orlandosentinel.com) (35)
(Cleveland) Silly Cleveland Indians would like to thank everyone for participating in Victor Martinez bobblehead day. Except Victor, who they traded to the Red Sox the day before  (cleveland.com) (33)

Mon August 03, 2009
(The Sporting Blog) Followup Michael Vick Community Celebration postponed ... because of a scheduling conflict with a Humane Society event  (sportingnews.com) (28)
(Sherdog) Amusing UFC President Dana White explodes upon hearing Fedor signed with Strikeforce - "Fedor is a farking joke, he turns down a huge deal...to fight nobodies for no money"  (sherdog.com) (189)
(670 The Score) Amusing Kevin McHale decides to join nearly his entire team, and that is by joining another team, somewhere  (670thescore.stats.com) (11)
(Yahoo) Dumbass NYC grand jury indicts Burress on weapons charges  (sports.yahoo.com) (47)
(Yahoo) Cool One of the weakest offenses in baseball takes 3 of 4 from one of the best, outscoring the Phillies 17-10  (sports.yahoo.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Obvious Eight personalities at every fantasy football draft  (freefantasyfootballpicks.com) (153)
(ESPN) Spiffy Tiger shoots final-round 69, wins 69th PGA Tour Event, hopes for numerical trend to continue later tonight with Elin  T-Shirt  (sports.espn.go.com) (37)
(ESPN) Cool Melky Cabrera becomes the first Yankee to hit for the cycle in 14 years. A-Rod and Jeter congratulate him by offering celebratory reach-arounds  (sports.espn.go.com) (46)

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