FARK.com: Sports links -- Archives for 2009-06-21

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Sun June 21, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Not News: US Soccer team scores once in first two games and needs impossible six-goal swing on final day of Confederations Cup to advance. Fark: They got it (sports.espn.go.com)	(146)
		C.C. Sabathia leaves Yankee game in second inning due to injury, need for clubhouse nachos (newsday.com)	(56)
		Dice-K to get a summer vacation (boston.com)	(55)
		Recession causes 192 names to finally be allowed to purchase Packers season tickets. That means if you act now, you could sign up and you might get tickets before the year 3000 (sports.espn.go.com)	(13)
		NASCAR go fast, turn left, go fast turn.....RIGHT??? WTF? Leave it to Frisco Californee to ruin NASCAR. Your Toyota/Save Mart 350 discussion thread (sports.yahoo.com)	(390)
		Nineteen NHL players sue golf course developer for blowing their $25 million investment on porn stars, Roger Clemens (nypost.com)	(11)
		The NBA theme as you have never heard it before, and as you would never like to hear it again (youtube.com)	(56)
		Brady, McNabb, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning... who should be the NFL's highest paid player? (fifthdown.blogs.nytimes.com)	(120)
		Molson Canadians? (nhl.com)	(39)
		Bob Costas: "Boom Goes the Dynamite." Did he think up that on his own, or did he perhaps borrow it from another legendary sportscaster? (youtube.com)	(21)
		Fake umpire phenomenon hits another MLB park to great delight of fans (mlb.fanhouse.com)	(16)
		Kerry Wood's so happy to be back at Wrigley Field that he blows the save for the Indians for the second day in a row (espn.go.com)	(25)
		Staggering drunk U.S. Open fans heckle every golfer in sight: Fred Funk's name was chanted as an obscenity, and someone yelled at a disturbed Tiger Woods "Suck it up, you've got your own video game" (newsday.com)	(57)

Sat June 20, 2009

(NFL)	NFLShop still has autographed Ryan Leaf jerseys for sale. Only $450 (nflshop.com)	(29)
	Jim Brown says Donte Stallworth was smoking pot the night of his crash. Well, that just makes it a brazillion times worse (sports.yahoo.com)	(23)
	After quitting as head coach of the Devils for "no reason at all", Brent Sutter expected to be named as head coach for the Calgary Flames (tsn.ca)	(24)
	With John Smoltz waiting in the wings, Dice-K proves that he belongs in Boston's rotation. Just kidding, he gives up 6 runs in 4+ innings and takes the loss (boston.com)	(43)
	♫ Take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and an iPhone app, I don't care if I never get back. ♫ (abcnews.go.com)	(13)
	LSU to play Texas for the national championship Monday night. Will this be a repeat in 6 1/2 months? (sports.espn.go.com)	(46)
	"Slumping" A-Rod benched for two days. Baseball fans who use finger quotes suffer massive repetitive use injuries (sports.espn.go.com)	(27)

Fri June 19, 2009

	Tony Hawk boarded through the White House. UPDATE: Tony Hawk waterboarded in Gitmo (tmz.com)	(29)
	Colombian soccer shark mascot is sacked after dry humping opponent's jersey (w/video goodness) (sportsbybrooks.com)	(12)
	Dirk Nowitzki files for custody of unborn child with ex-girlfriend Crystal Taylor. Guest appearance on Maury's "World's Ugliest Babies" episode scheduled for May 2010 (sports.espn.go.com)	(18)
	The Sidney Crosby handshake "controversy" officially ended by Mr. Hockey. Wings fans stare at their shoes, shuffle away (freep.com)	(90)
	Wade Boggs to man the Miller Lite stand at weekend minor league baseball game. No word if he'll let anyone else have any (blogs.suntimes.com)	(13)
(The Leaf Chronicle)	Mid-major colleges cutting media days to save money, mouth-breathing athletes (theleafchronicle.com)	(14)
	Bündchendeoven (msnbc.msn.com)	(50)
(Golf.com)	PGA institutes new personal hygene standards for all pro players after debacle at US Open (blogs.golf.com)	(20)
(Some Guy)	Et tu, papelbon? (yardbarker.com)	(110)
	Pavel Datsyuk of the Detroit Red Wings wins fourth straight Lady Byng and second straight Selke. Dangle dangle, good sir (sports.yahoo.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)	FOTA 2 FIA fu (autoweek.com)	(41)
	The Boston Bruins, rewarded for their second round choke, capture the game's three most prestigious awards at the NHL award show in Las Vegas (boston.com)	(79)
	Dusty Rhodes dies. Arn Anderson inconsolable (google.com)	(86)

Thu June 18, 2009

	Tigers pitcher Dontrelle Willis on the 15-day DL over an anxiety disorder. Like who wouldn't be anxious to leave Detroit? (sports.espn.go.com)	(31)
	Commissioner Roger Goodell lays down some NFL street justice on Donte Stallworth (nfl.fanhouse.com)	(80)
	Not news: Sedin twins are set to be free agents. News: They want 12-year contracts. Fark: Worth $63 million. Each (tsn.ca)	(62)
	The U.S. Open is all one big water hazard now (newsday.com)	(10)
	The always-classy Yankees make their fans sit through a five-and-a-half hour rain delay for the privilege of watching Joba walk a banjo-hitting Nationals team that will be lucky to win 55 games this year (espn.go.com)	(80)
	Egypt conquers Italy for the first time since 30 B.C (soccernet.espn.go.com)	(31)
	What was the purest baseball era, from a statistical perspective? (sports.espn.go.com)	(41)
(Rock Ridge?)	Texas community rallies around rail line to attract Cowboys, business. This headline is NOT a repeat from 1863 (wfaa.com)	(51)
	Apparently, the value of irrelevancy is $1.2 million over three years (chiefsblog.kansascity.com)	(22)
	Hockey has become a tough sell..... in Canada (thestar.com)	(53)
	New Miami High School's final two choices for school's name is an Attorney General, and an NBA star. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Alonzo and Tracy Mourning Senior High Biscayne Bay Campus (upi.com)	(34)
	Manny Ramirez to get injection into A ball (latimes.com)	(12)
	Former mountain bike champ Missy Giove busted for attempting to peddle 400 lbs of pot (sports.espn.go.com)	(56)
	Disgraced ex-NBA ref out of prison. The striped uniforms didn't bother him, but he's still pissed about the hard fouls from behind (msn.foxsports.com)	(20)
	Woman eats wet turf, and they're not going to stop (cincinnati.reds.mlb.com)	(27)
(Gunaxin)	The Five Best Fictional Caddies (gunaxin.com)	(22)
	Phil Mickelson says his wife wants a US Open trophy. In other news, Phil Mickelson's wife now dating Tiger Woods (hosted.ap.org)	(29)
	"Because I used steroids and I came out with a book, I was kicked out of the game, but I have not been inducted into the Hall of Fame" (sports.espn.go.com)	(66)
	Pudge sets the record for most games caught without the goddamn common courtesy of a reach-around (mlb.mlb.com)	(21)

Wed June 17, 2009

	Kim Jong Il scores 48 bicycle-kick goals to qualify North Korea for World Cup (news.bbc.co.uk)	(38)
	After Blue Jays closer Downs injured himself running to 1st base, Manager Cito Gaston blamed interleague play "My guys don't take batting practice every day and they don't run, so things like this are going to happen." (sports.yahoo.com)	(72)
	Iowans irked at The Onion for euthanizing homegrown Olympic heroine Shawn Johnson (sportsbybrooks.com)	(38)
	Ryan Leaf is about as good of a criminal as he was in the NFL (sports.espn.go.com)	(15)
	New Minnesota Timberwolves GM David Kahn fires coach Kevin McHale. KAAAHN (sports.espn.go.com)	(16)
	Red Wings' captain: "When I first saw the doctor in the morning, he asked me if I had any kids, and if I planned on having more kids" (freep.com)	(41)
	How to make golf exciting: use basketball announcers to call the game (slatev.com)	(28)
	Broncos WR Brandon Marshall is the latest player to run from Invesco Field like it's on fire (sportingnews.com)	(88)
	High school football coach busted with coke, guns when his student gets pulled over with weed and no driver's license. Or as it's known in Florida, "college tryouts" (southflorida.sun-sentinel.com)	(2)
	Why does the NFL still hold its anti-gambling stance? Three letters: N-B-A (sports.yahoo.com)	(23)
(Some Guy)	So intense, even Mother Nature wasn't ready for it until today: your Cubs/White Sox smack-talk-a-thon starts here (crosstownclassic.com)	(99)
	Sir Mario Lemieux to be Knighted by Quebec. Suck it Gretzky (kdka.com)	(28)
(ForumBlueandGold)	"We get it, Bill [Simmons]. We know you hate Kobe. We know you hate that he now has more titles than Bird. But, please, give us the courtesy of relying on actual facts and evidence to support your arguments" (forumblueandgold.com)	(170)
(Some Guy)	Superb drunks who also happened to be super athletes (moderndrunkardmagazine.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)	How will United do without Ronaldo? Is this finally the year the Reds take the hardware? Which newly promoted teams will be relegated by Christmas? Your 2009/2010 Premiere League fixtures are here (premierleague.com)	(49)
	Lebron visits with President Obama at the White House. Wait, didn't the Lakers win the NBA championship the other day? (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(42)
	If you can spell the words "rain", "overcast", and "miserable", then the organisers of the London Olympics have a job for you (telegraph.co.uk)	(34)
	Golf officials are shortening the game to just 9 holes to get more people to golf. "People have much busier lifestyles these days." (nzherald.co.nz)	(29)
(Gunaxin)	The Stanley Cup goes swimming in Mario Lemieux's pool, again (gunaxin.com)	(69)
	Ichiro can thank Junior's soft, delicate touch and longing stares for the best numbers of his career (deadspin.com)	(29)
	John Smoltz to continue his minor league rehab assignment against the Washington Nationals on June 25th (sports.espn.go.com)	(40)

Tue June 16, 2009

	Sentence for killing dogs: 2 years. Sentence for killing a pedestrian: 30 days. Sentence for breaking football coach's jaw with son's helmet: 90 days (sportsbybrooks.com)	(51)
	In news straight out of right field, Sammy Sosa tested positive for banned substance in 2003 (sports.yahoo.com)	(75)
	It appears that the New York Jets have shot down the idea of signing Plaxico Burress (nydailynews.com)	(19)
	47 year old defenseman Chris Chelios isn't ready to retire, wants you to get off his lawn. Yes, this is a repeat from 2008. And 2007. And 2006 (sportingnews.com)	(38)
	DUI manslaughter sentence of 30 days in jail is given to Donte Stallworth, the only Browns player that has shown he can hit someone (cleveland.com)	(93)
(Some Guy)	Let's send our elderly TV reporter out for a live shot in front of a bunch of drunk College World Series fans and see what happens (awfulannouncing.blogspot.com)	(15)
	How the addition of Brett Favre makes the Vikings the quantitative favorite to win the NFC North (myespn.go.com)	(75)
	The 10 cushiest jobs in sports. "If disaster strikes and you do have to go in a game, they scale back the playbook to Tecmo Bowl levels anyway and you have zero pressure to produce because everyone just assumes you'll be awful" (sports.espn.go.com)	(45)
	Judge issues correct ruling saying that Jim Silly-Balls can't move the Coyotes to Canada. Suck it, Canada (nhl.com)	(53)
(Pro Football Talk)	Former Detroit Lions GM Matt Millen makes the big understatement since... well, ever (profootballtalk.com)	(24)
	The Denver Broncos are determined to have an offense that matches their defense (sports.yahoo.com)	(50)
	Michael Phelps lands hist first sponsor since infamous bong photo. No, it isn't Hostess or Frito-Lay (usatoday.com)	(14)
	Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals was the most watched NHL game in the U.S. in 36 years (sports.yahoo.com)	(157)
(homerderby.com)	The Wrigley Field Bleachers are filled with trash. I'm not talking about the drunken floozies in halter tops, either (homerderby.com)	(112)
(Awful Announcing)	Who other than Artie Lange to put Joe Buck in his place (w/profanity-laced video) (awfulannouncing.blogspot.com)	(83)

Mon June 15, 2009

(Wisconsin State Journal)	Brewers: Hoffman human after all (madison.com)	(37)
	The good news: You won the race. The bad news: You're dead (msn.foxsports.com)	(48)
	Introducing the newest event in equestrian competitions: synchronized face-planting (dailymail.co.uk)	(19)
	Attention whore Brett Favre will make announcement regarding his playing status tonight on "Joe Buck Live" (blogs.startribune.com)	(96)
	The next time you have to run for a bus, really put your heart into it. You never know who might be watching (telegraph.co.uk)	(11)
	Naked rugby matched interrupted by fully clothed streaker (NSFW) (guardian.co.uk)	(79)
	If you read one story today about a 16-year-old girl who had a heart attack, was clinically dead for three minutes, and is now a cyborg zombie, make it this one (desmoinesregister.com)	(18)
	There is a new blonde Swede rookie on the LPGA tour who could well be an Annika clone--winning the first major she's ever entered. (pics) (bittenandbound.com)	(32)
	Michael Phelps authors children's book, possibly entitled 'Puff the Magic Dolphin' (wjz.com)	(10)
	My name is Juan Pablo Montoya. I am trying to earn a Chase spot. Prepare to die (nascar.com)	(33)
	Top 20 team ties a franchise record with their 11th win in a row. This is not a repeat from 2007 (colorado.rockies.mlb.com)	(29)
	Right on cue: Smoke plumes above Los Angeles and overturned cop cars herald the new NBA champions (cbs13.com)	(43)
	Woman's Tennis officials plan to clamp down on orgasmic grunts and groans, lose 100% of viewers (dailymail.co.uk)	(34)
	Los Angeles Lakers defeat Orlando Magic for the 2009 NBA Championship; 15th title for franchise, 10th for Phil Jackson, 4th for Kobe, 1st for Adam Morrison (usatoday.com)	(215)