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Sun June 07, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(ESPN) Obvious Tiger knocks the world back on its axis again  (sports.espn.go.com) (34)
(ESPN) Cool Pirates pitcher Ross Ohlendorf went to Princeton, did his thesis on the worth of baseball players drafted from '89 to '93 and has a 4.85 ERA this season. Yeah, he's better than you  (sports.espn.go.com) (30)
(Chicago Tribune) Hero WGN broadcaster Bob Brenly, during another night of stupid baseball by the Chicago Cubs: "If there are any Little Leaguers watching, turn the TV off."  (chicagotribune.com) (44)
(Some Baller) PSA Will the Lakers be two away from their rings? Will the Magic tie it up? This is your thread for Game 2: Electric Turkoglu (8pm ET, ABC)  (poundingtherock.com) (413)
(OSG Sports) Cool A 103-game hit streak...? So, what if it's high school softball... it's still 103 F'N GAMES Video goodness and proof included  (onlinesportsguys.blogspot.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Strange Saints coach Sean Payton is shopping a movie script in Hollywood that's so stupid it just might work  (faniq.com) (26)
(Fox Sports) Spiffy Not news: Girls leads team to state track title. News: She scores all the team's points. Fark: She's the entire team. Greenlight: She is seven and a half feet tall. (yeah ok I made that one up)  (msn.foxsports.com) (42)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Former PED user and Red Sox "slugger" David Ortiz hits HR #2 of the season, now on pace for an earth-shattering 6 home runs this season  (sports.yahoo.com) (152)
(NASCAR) Cool Goodbye Digger, hello double-file restarts. Will Kyle Busch destroy another guitar trophy? Sprint Cup Pocono 500 discussion thread  (nascar.com) (287)
(USA Today) Cool On fourth try Federer finally wins in France, becoming sixth man to win all four Grand Slam championships  (usatoday.com) (38)
(Boston Globe) Unlikely It's just your lying eyes telling you it's a curveball  (boston.com) (37)
(Fox Sports) Followup Tom Glavine considers filing grievance against the Braves after his release, proving that the SEC is the best conference in college football  (msn.foxsports.com) (31)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy George Foreman's son grills some white meat  T-Shirt  (chron.com) (15)
(FanHouse) Spiffy Super-hottie MMA fighter Gina Carano makes her comeback on Aug. 15  (mma.fanhouse.com) (25)
(NASCAR) Amusing Kyle Busch goes all kinds of rock star after he wins in Nashville. First he literally burns them down in his victory burnout, and then he tops that by smashing the guitar trophy ala Paul Stanley  (nascar.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Obvious The Red Wings show us what we already knew in Saturday's 5-0 victory; the Penguins are a bunch of petulant 2-year-olds  (chicagotribune.com) (111)
(AZCentral) Interesting NHL exec Gary Bettmann has four different groups interested in buying the Coyotes and keeping them in Phoenix  (www2.azcentral.com) (42)

Sat June 06, 2009
(Reuters) Misc Nadal may skip Wimbledon. This'll cause a racquet  (reuters.com) (36)
(ESPN) Spiffy Stanley Cup Final, Game 5, Penguins at Red Wings. Can Datsyuk give the Wings a much needed boost after dropping two in a row in the Steel City?  (sports.espn.go.com) (1287)
(ESPN) Cool Can Calvin Borel ride the $9500 Mine that Bird to victory becoming the first jockey to sweep the Triple Crown on two horses?  (sports.espn.go.com) (41)
(Forbes) Unlikely Forbes says that the Arizona Cardinals are the NFL's hottest brand.....wait what?  (forbes.com) (33)
(Major League Baseball) Dumbass Zambrano tired of yelling, breaking Gatorade machines, wants to retire  (mlb.mlb.com) (35)
(Post-Gazette) Amusing Looks like Evgeni Malkin is a fan of Fark  (img193.imageshack.us) (59)
(BBC) Fail Just when you thought England's cricket team couldn't embarrass themselves any further  (news.bbc.co.uk) (39)
(Yahoo) Fail Alex Rios does not settle for the "golden sombrero" as he strikes out 5 times in one game  (sports.yahoo.com) (60)
(Philly) Sad Kiss the Eagles and your fantasy team goodbye as Bryant Westbrook to have ankle surgery  (philly.com) (59)

Fri June 05, 2009
(CBS Pittsburgh) Followup The demolition of Tiger Stadium was halted by a judge Friday. Plans are to let it fall apart naturally, like the rest of Detroit  T-Shirt  (kdka.com) (35)
(CNN) Obvious Just as the Yankees get their Wang fixed, the Mets break their Putz  T-Shirt  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (24)
(AP) Cool Amanda Hubbard of Georgia wins three gold medals at U.S. National Weightlifting Championships. I told you her snatch was impressive  T-Shirt  (hosted.ap.org) (28)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Rick Barry berates radio host for cutting down Kobe: "Because I played the game and you didn't."  (sportsbybrooks.com) (32)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Video Venezuelan cross-dresser puts on show in Minnesota Twins locker room  (myfoxtwincities.com) (12)
(Free Press) Amusing Bill Laimbeer: WNBA coach, Pistons legend, Bad Boy, former Sleestak. Wait ... what?  (freep.com) (24)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Layla Kiffin to help women better understand Tennessee Vols football. What's not to understand about losing at home to Wyoming?  (sportsbybrooks.com) (24)
(USA Today) Interesting Cardinals Chris Carpenter tosses complete game between extended stays on the DL  (usatoday.com) (20)
(IndyStar) Sad Indianapolis Colts follow the WNBA's lead, plan to affix sponsorship logos on all practice uniforms. Cut that meat  (indystar.com) (27)
(MSNBC) Amusing From the author of such articles as, "Wings healed, they will drop Penguins Again," and "Pens left with Nothing but Hope," now brings you, "Wings may not have a Prayer"  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (59)
(ESPN) Obvious Kobe Bryant now three wins away from "Can't win the big one without Derek Fisher"  (espn.go.com) (102)
(NBA) Video Michael Jordan's top 10 dunks  (nba.com) (102)

Thu June 04, 2009
(ESPN) Sad Sammy Sosa: "I can't wait to get into the Hall of Fame." MLB: "Uh... steroids?" Sosa: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"  (espn.go.com) (114)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting George Foreman to make his boxing debut. No, not that George Foreman, the other George Foreman. No, not that one, the OTHER George Foreman. *sigh* The OTHER OTHER George Foreman  (chron.com) (12)
(ESPN) Cool Finally, the Finals: Superman vs. the Black Mamba - Orlando at Los Angeles for your NBA Finals Game 1 discussion (9pm ET, ABC)  (espn.go.com) (303)
(Yahoo) Cool Congratulations to Randy Johnson for finally joining the 300 Club (that's 300 victories, not asploded birds)  (sports.yahoo.com) (132)
(New York Daily News) Followup And the hits just keep on coming. After being swept by the Pirates, Mets find out Reyes re-injured himself in a rehab game  (nydailynews.com) (36)
(ESPN) Cool Will Datsyuk be back? Will the Pens continue their comeback or will the Wings resurge? Wings v Pens. 8pm. Game on  (sports.espn.go.com) (1278)
(USA Today) Misc Colorado Avalanche hire Sacco as new manager, Vanzetti named general manager  (usatoday.com) (16)
(Deadspin) Followup Its the 35th anniversary of the worst promotion idea in sports history  (deadspin.com) (50)
(Some Blogger) Spiffy Summary of all MLB disabled list activity since 2002, colorfully charted by team, position, year and injury type. Otherwise known as the Pavano Report  (beyondtheboxscore.com) (11)
(The Onion) Satire Detroit and Pittsburgh both attempting to lose Stanley Cup to avoid expensive victory parade  (theonion.com) (19)
(Yahoo) Interesting Yahoo has sued the NFL Players Association, claiming it shouldn't have to pay royalties to use players' publicly available statistics for Fantasy Football  (sports.yahoo.com) (48)
(Daily Breeze) Obvious Pro-skater explains nude rooftop rant in one word: mushrooms  (dailybreeze.com) (23)
(ESPN) Obvious Sammy Sosa to announce his retirement from baseball. You'd think this was a repeat from 2007, wouldn't you?  (sports.espn.go.com) (35)
(BBC) Strange Nglshmn sht n Kyrgyzstn  (news.bbc.co.uk) (68)
(The Herd's Word) Amusing The Yankees are so hot, A-Rod has to cool off by taking a dip in the Hudson  (theherdsword.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Followup Vince Young realizes he's really just an expensive clipboard holder, decides he wants to stay with Titans  (nfl.com) (18)
(New York Daily News) Sick "Jeter not getting married, just like his best buddy A-Rod, shown here with his fake tan and a caption implying that all those Fark jokes and A-Rod may have some substance behind, on, or inside them"  (nydailynews.com) (29)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Wang reinserted - just needed 20 minutes  (nydailynews.com) (32)
(LA Times) Asinine Single Lakers-Magic ticket for $59,000 (Game 1) to $117,650 (Game 6). Trophy wife not included  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (25)
(Yahoo) Fail US Soccer once again proves to the world they're the most dominant team in their region. Not really, they got peckerslapped by Costa Rica, 3-1  (sports.yahoo.com) (84)
(Major League Baseball) Stupid The Pittsburgh Pirates solidify their status as the official farm team for the rest of Major League Baseball, trade their All-Star center fielder to Atlanta for tree-fiddy and half a pack of smokes  (mlb.mlb.com) (98)

Wed June 03, 2009
(Deadspin) Amusing Meet Glenn Timmermann, the Chicago Bears superfan who has 92 players' autographs tattooed on his body. Yes, even Rex Grossman  (deadspin.com) (17)
(Fox Sports) Sad With Maddux retired and Smoltz in Boston, the Atlanta Braves look to hold on to the last of their original Three Aces. Just kidding, they release Tom Glavine after a brief minor league stint  (msn.foxsports.com) (47)
(USA Today) Cool Today's episode of "Not Bloody Likely, Old Chap" brought to you by Cavs owner Dan Gilbert, who insists the team will win an NBA championship  (usatoday.com) (13)
(Sports by Brooks) Spiffy Raiderettes visit troops in Iraq, find conditions nearly as terrifying as the average Oakland home game  (sportsbybrooks.com) (32)
(Deadspin) Dumbass Yankees radio guy John Sterling forgets the difference between Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui. At least he didn't make his "A-Bomb" reference with the Japanese guy... umm...oops  (deadspin.com) (50)
(Albert Pujols) Dumbass Tony LaRussa sues Twitter after someone sets up a fake account in his name  (fox2now.com) (16)
(ESPN) Amusing Magic Guard Mickael Pietrus unveils a strategy at stopping Kobe so manically brilliant, the outcome of the finals is all but decided in his favor (last paragraph)  (sports.espn.go.com) (36)
(Sporting News) Asinine NASCAR fines Carl Long $200,000 for being .17 cubic inches too big, having name that sounds like a porn star  (sportingnews.com) (25)
(Globe and Mail) Interesting If the Pittsburgh Penguins win the Stanley Cup, it's good news for the stock market. Here comes the bizarre economics  (theglobeandmail.com) (38)
(YouTube) Video Ron MacLean vs. NHL Commisioner Gary Bettman. Round 1....FIGHT  (youtube.com) (103)
(Yahoo) Strange British soccer player wins libel damages from newspaper that said he was "finished at 29" and "ready for sad finale". Newspapers around America hope Brett Favre hasn't been taking notes  (sports.yahoo.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Obvious If Deangelo Hall worried about his on-field performance as much as his Madden rating, he may actually be worth the money he gets paid  (tiricosuave.com) (84)
(Bay News 9) Asinine ESPN's attempt to fill dead air with poker has confused real new sites into believing poker is actually a sport  (baynews9.com) (112)
(CNN) Spiffy Cubbies take no hitter into 7th against Braves, lead 5-0, then things get normal  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (82)
(TBO) Misc Askew wants to continue playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, be straightened out  T-Shirt  (www2.tbo.com) (16)
(Deadspin) Obvious Be nice to your kids if you must, but if you really want them to be tennis superstars, you've gotta be batshiat insane  (deadspin.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Misc Patriots' Harrison to retire, beat the crap out of the English language on the NBC broadcasting team  (weei.com) (36)
(ESPN) Obvious Lebron undergoes procedure to remove growth from his mouth. No word yet if his foot is ok  T-Shirt  (sports.espn.go.com) (39)

Tue June 02, 2009
(SoccerLens) Interesting The 15 greatest sports cheats of all time. Don't worry, Bostonians, Spygate's only #13  (soccerlens.com) (98)
(ABC13 Houston) Asinine NFL teams to start selling ad space on practice jerseys. Article continues after the ad  (abclocal.go.com) (29)
(Examiner) Interesting Michael Vick actively shopping book proposal. According to one source, it's a Dr. Seuss inspired children's book tentatively called, "Down Pup, Pup is Down."  (examiner.com) (5)
(ESPN) Stupid Endorsing the idea that David Ortiz is older than he says he is rather than the Occam's Razor-endorsed "he's off steroids now." Ballwashing the notoriously disloyal Red Sox Nation fanbase. Yep, this is a Bill Simmons column  (sports.espn.go.com) (117)
(NYPost) Obvious Madison Square Garden releases realistic looking pictures of what the place will look like when renovations are done in 2012 by excluding any 21st century championship banners for the NY Knicks and Rangers  (nypost.com) (26)
(Yahoo) Obvious Kansas City Royals lose 16 of 21 as hope is replaced with reality  (sports.yahoo.com) (13)
(CNN) Sad We aren't even halfway through the season, but its time for the MLB farm teams to sell their players to the Sox, Cubs and Yanks  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (22)
(NHL) Cool Stanley Cup Final: Wings go for three at the Mellon, puck drops at 8pm  (nhl.com) (1303)
(Bangor Daily News) Obvious Softball coach was fired for making students walk barefoot in sheep feces at a team picnic, not because she's a lesbian  (bangordailynews.com) (90)
(Cleveland) Followup The dirt on the NCAA violation involving Ohio State president Gordon Gee and James Laurinitis  (cleveland.com) (31)
(CBS Sports) Unlikely Memphis finds no evidence of SAT cheating. And they looked really hard. Seriously, they worked a whole afternoon on it and called like two people  (cbssports.com) (11)
(ESPN) Dumbass Vince Young threatens to start really complaining if he doesn't start by saying, "I'm ready to play ball." When will NFL teams realize that submitter is ready to play ball?  (sports.espn.go.com) (41)
(NBC Universal Sports) Spiffy The coolest pics of elite swimmers taken from the bottom of the pool you'll see today  (universalsports.com) (14)
(ESPN) Spiffy Yankees set major league record with 18 consecutive errorless games, due in part to Joba Chamberlain's cat-like athletic prowess  (sports.espn.go.com) (88)
(ESPN) Dumbass LeBron doesn't lack sportsmanship, it's just that shaking hands and offering congratulations after a defeat is dumb  (sports.espn.go.com) (189)
(ESPN) Cool Jets and Giants sign deal with EPA to keep the New Jersey stench out of their new stadium  (sports.espn.go.com) (17)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing Fly, Fatass, Fly! (Link goes to video)  (mlb.mlb.com) (49)

Mon June 01, 2009
(New York Daily News) Interesting It's a pisser that refusing to auction everything from Yankee Stadium drains our taxpayer dollars and flushes money away at a time we're struggling to keep our heads above water  T-Shirt  (nydailynews.com) (5)
(TSN) Followup Wayne Gretzky stands to lose millions if the Phoenix Coyotes don't relocate to Canada. Bet you didn't see that coming  (tsn.ca) (40)
(Deadspin) Stupid The first step towards the Starbucks Mariners or the Taco Bell Yankees has just been taken  (deadspin.com) (100)
(CBS New York) Unlikely NY Yankees say that the subpoena requesting internal records on public financing of new stadium would cost taxpayers $5 million, or roughly seven CC Sabathia starts, or four 6th row seats behind home plate  (wcbstv.com) (14)
(Fox Sports) Dumbass A prediction Dan Marino can appreciate: Lakers in 5 ... unless they lose in 7  (msn.foxsports.com) (15)
(Deadspin) Amusing Tired of having 100+ years of frustration taken out on it, Gatorade pulls its dispenser from the Cubs dugout  (deadspin.com) (21)
(Columbus Dispatch) Sad Ohio State has reported 375 recuriting violations since 2000. You would think with all that cheating they could win a bowl game  (dispatch.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Obvious Chelsea's newly appointed coach is getting 4/9 odds to last a whole season. Seeing how they have had 4 coaches in two years, that seems like a damn good bet to me  (setanta.com) (8)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Former World No 1 Jelena Jankovic ridden and whipped by 19-year-old unseeded cutie at French Open; hopes to regain her stride before the Belmont Stakes  (telegraph.co.uk) (23)
(Some Guy) Obvious Sports books have the odds of LeBron staying in Cleveland about the same as the odds of Kiefer Sutherland not getting arrested again in 2009. Seriously. This is comforting to Clevelanders how?  (clevescene.com) (38)
(ESPN) Unlikely Mets win despite having half their team sick with a mysterious "stomach virus" that reminds people of that other virus... that closed all those schools... in Queens... where their stadium is... EVERYBODY PANIC  (sports.espn.go.com) (29)
(St. Petersburg Times) Sad Despite collecting quarterbacks like bubble gum cards, fight for Tampa Bay Buccaneers' starting spot is between Byron Leftwich and Luke McCown  (tampabay.com) (8)
(CNN) Sad Like classical music, subtle wines and bad techno music, Europe has exported the fine art of flopping to the USA  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (38)
(Cleveland) Dumbass Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini may have violated NFL rules by asking rookies to work at his football camp. "It's voluntary, but it's not really voluntary."  (cleveland.com) (12)
(BBC) Amusing England's Peter Crouch previews next weekend's World Cup qualifier: "I can't say I've ever been to Kazakhstan on holiday. It is something different, something new and exciting"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (10)
(ESPN) Interesting After 50 seasons, long-time NBA fixture to finally retire. Too bad its not Joey Crawford or Bennett Salvatore  (sports.espn.go.com) (13)
(Some Tired Guy) Hero Texas pitcher Austin Wood pitches longest NCAA game in history, gives fans wood  (texassports.com) (39)
(Gville Sun) Florida Attention golfers: the bear alert on the bottom nine has been lifted  (gainesville.com) (34)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting Edgerrin James thinks he can still play in the NFL, provided that it's with one of those teams that is uninterested in passing the ball  (sportingnews.com) (8)
(TSN) Spiffy Jacques Martin names new head coach of the Montreal Canadiens. Georges Laraque approves  (tsn.ca) (22)
(USA Today) Unlikely NHL commissioner Gary Bettman says the NHL was 20 minutes away from a deal that would have saved the Phoenix Coyotes when team owner Jerry Moyes took the team into bankruptcy  (usatoday.com) (72)
(Yahoo) Obvious NHL overturns one-game suspension to Pittsburgh Penguins star Evgeni Malkin because the game would go from pointless to completely pointless if he didn't play in game 3  (sports.yahoo.com) (187)
(People Magazine) Dumbass Danica Patrick admits that she would enhance. Unfortunately, the question had nothing to do with registering a domain name (link fixed)  (people.com) (51)
(YouTube) Dumbass Charles Barkley on live TV calls producer pussy, then tries to cover it up with a cough  (bareknucks.com) (24)
(Fox Sports) Obvious Grading for every NFL franchise. Arguments start to the right  (msn.foxsports.com) (136)
(Fox News) Cool Eating-contest legend Kobayashi rebounds, consumes 5 3/4 P'Zone pizzas in 6 minutes to defeat arch-rival Joey Chestnut  (foxnews.com) (29)
(STLToday) Obvious Hey NFL fans: Got $929,000,000 kicking around? Bored? You can buy the St. Louis Rams, who are up for sale to whoever the hell wants them  (stltoday.com) (61)
(YouTube) Cool Introducing the new sport of "road surfing"  (youtube.com) (10)
(Google) Cool Dallas Stars hire beloved former player Joe Neiu.... Niewen... Neu.... Stars have a new GM  (google.com) (32)

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