| Source | Fark Headline | Comments | |
| Saints player Jeremy Shockey found unconscious at Vegas hotel, taken to hospital, story developing (tmz.com) | (100) | ||
| So what does a guy charged with federal tax evasion do once he's acquitted? He wins the Indianapolis 500 (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (24) | ||
| Mizzou becomes the first school in Big XII history to play in the Big XII men's football, basketball and baseball Championship games in the same year. That's right biatches, Mizzou (kansascity.com) | (65) | ||
| NBA Eastern Conference Game 3. With the Cavs splitting the first two games to give home court advantage to the Magic, you might as well cancel your Sports Illustrated subscription (scores.espn.go.com) | (206) | ||
| Teixeira hits broken bat home run at Yankee Stadium...what a joke that stadium is (scores.espn.go.com) | (68) | ||
| It's a full day of racing today: Monaco Grand Prix 7:30am ET on Speed - Indy 500 1pm ET on ABC - NASCAR from Charlotte 5pm ET on Fox - Discuss (cbssports.com) | (529) | ||
| Buffalo is the best city for baseball fans because there are 11 professional ballparks less than an eight-hour drive away (buffalonews.com) | (39) | ||
| They already get free rides to school, get to take easy classes, and are treated like rock stars. Now college athletes want royalties for appearing in video games. "I think it's just cool to be on the game." (desmoinesregister.com) | (25) | ||
| Is Huet up to the challenge? Will Kronwall take out another key Hawk? Today's NHL playoffs give us Wings @ Hawks, 3pm EST on NBC (espn.go.com) | (782) | ||
| Something to ponder this Sunday morning as you sit on the couch eating bacon. A 9 year old boy is running a marathon right now (burlingtonfreepress.com) | (43) | ||
| It's the final day of the EPL season. Bye bye Newcastle (news.bbc.co.uk) | (69) | ||
| (WAtoday) | Not News: Soccer commentator insults fatties. News: By telling them, "You are bigger than Hitler's last gas bill." FARK: He's from der Führer's actual fatherland, Australia (watoday.com.au) | (31) | |
| Cubs say why wait for October to suck, complete a 6-game losing streak (espn.go.com) | (32) | ||
| Hittable Alabama softball pitcher Kelsi Dunne is unhittable (w/pic) (blog.al.com) | (39) | ||
| Lyotowned (weblogs.newsday.com) | (72) | ||
| Cleveland news team gives up on their Cavs with one second remaining: Erupt when they realize they won (bareknucks.com) | (53) | ||
| Leinster win the Heineken cup, narrowly defeating Leicester, Drew (guardian.co.uk) | (8) | ||
| (RTE) | Dropping your shorts in the middle of a soccer match? That's a sacking (rte.ie) | (5) | |
| NBA Western Conference Finals, Game 3. Introducing the matchup that everybody has been waiting for: Linas Kleiza versus Sun Yue (thedenverchannel.com) | (133) | ||
| Will Pittsburgh make it 3-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals or will Carolina finally go Katrina on Crosby's Crew? PIT vs CAR, 7:30PM EST (nhl.com) | (483) | ||
| (Lax Magazine) | Syracuse beats the Duke men's lacrosse team like a Durham stripper, will play for the National Championship Monday. Duke sucks (laxmagazine.com) | (72) | |
| Experts last year: Detroit Tigers to win World Series (They finish in last). This year the experts say: Detroit Tigers suck and will finish in last place. Tigers tied for best record in AL. (Experts suck) (sports.yahoo.com) | (21) | ||
| The big reason why the Texas Rangers are winning: Because when Nolan Ryan tells you how he wants you to do things, you better believe people freaking listen (chron.com) | (46) | ||
| Jenson Button wins Monaco Grand Prix for his fifth win in six "races" (sports.espn.go.com) | (38) | ||
| "When Kronwall hit Havlat, the puck was at Havlat's feet ... Is Kronwall supposed to get a document signed by a notary before he checks anybody?" (freep.com) | (131) | ||
| A Minnesota Twins' outfielder hits for the cycle. This is not a repeat from earlier this season (sports.espn.go.com) | (9) | ||
| (Some Guy) | They don't call Dennis Eckersley the best color man in the business for nothing, folks (mild profanity in video) (cmsbmedia.com) | (50) | |
| The new Yankee Stadium is the biggest joke in baseball, after the Washington Nationals and the black New York Mets uniforms (nypost.com) | (64) | ||
| LebrOWNED (espn.go.com) | (158) |
| Mets beat Red Sox. Bill Buckner unavailable for comment (espn.go.com) | (35) | ||
| (Some outa work puck) | Mike Keenan fired from coaching position. This is not a repeat from 1988, 1992, 1997, 1999, 2001 or 2004 (sportsnet.ca) | (28) | |
| One game into the series, and Cleveland is already facing a must-win game at home. Will the Cavs pick it up, or is Orlando going to steal it? This is your NBA Eastern Conference finals game thread (scores.espn.go.com) | (183) | ||
| NHL Western Conference Finals, Game 3. Detroit at Chicago, Wings up 2-0. Will Pavel Play? Can the Blackhawks win one game at home? (sports.espn.go.com) | (1014) | ||
| NBA cautions consumers to beware of fake merchandise, noting that it looks just like the real stuff but costs a lot less (9news.com) | (8) | ||
| Why Randy Johnson won't be the last pitcher to reach 300 wins (seattletimes.nwsource.com) | (39) | ||
| In celebration of the release of Michael Vick, James Harrison's son is bitten by the family pitbull (wpxi.com) | (50) | ||
| UEFA charge Drogba and Bosingwa for Barca riot. If you only understood four words in that sentence, you might be an American (news.bbc.co.uk) | (37) | ||
| Police search for missing 75 year-old basketball player, call up the New York Knicks to see if they signed him |
(4) | ||
| Jeremy Roenick claims Babcock isn't playing Chris Chelios because he hates Americans, rather than the obvious reason: it's hard to hold a hockey stick while using a walker (freep.com) | (48) | ||
| Bruce Springsteen to close Giants Stadium this fall. Maybe he'll play that one song about fightin' his dad and goin' to the outskirts of town and dream about gettin' out and makin' something of himself (sfgate.com) | (55) | ||
| Colorado Rockies GM says it's too early to start a "daily Clint [Hurdle] watch" on when the manager will be fired. In related news, submitter calls Tuesday, May 26th, at 2pm (denverpost.com) | (10) | ||
| (NFL.com) | And the two teams desperate enough at wide receiver to contact Plaxico Burress despite the probability of him spending time in jail are... (envelope, please) (nfl.com) | (38) | |
| Detroit Lions DE Eric Hicks to QB Matthew Stafford after a successful bootleg: "Sorry I couldn't catch you. I was just picking up all the money falling out of your pockets" (detnews.com) | (21) | ||
| Lose a pop fly in the lights? Watch how Eckstein turns a potentially dire situation into a sure out (links to vid) (sandiego.padres.mlb.com) | (72) | ||
| Bear continues travels through Seattle. As usual, our run defense is powerless to stop him (komonews.com) | (19) | ||
| South Florida and UConn make college baseball watchable by passing a five-hour rain delay with a DANCE OFF (sportingnews.com) | (12) | ||
| And the award for most dedicated Cavaliers fan goes to... *opens envelope*...the guy by himself in a small wooden boat somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean (wtam.com) | (8) | ||
| Evgeni Malkin goes for a hat trick and seals the deal in game 2 with this AMAZING backhand shot (bareknucks.com) | (149) | ||
| Vancouver prostitutes training for Olympics, really good at lube and bobshead (canada.com) | (38) | ||
| Massive HD screen debuts in new Cowboys Stadium. It hangs 90ft off the ground. Problem is, punts can go over 100 feet high. NFL bans punts in 3...2...1... (LGT video) (dallasnews.com) | (70) | ||
| Denver Melos defeat Los Angeles Kobes 34-32....errr...106-103 (espn.go.com) | (60) | ||
| It's never too late to put it in the hole |
(9) | ||
| Albert Pujols literally dots the 'i' on Cardinals' sweep of the Cubs by smashing the "I" in the Bic Mac Land neon sign in Busch Stadium (auto-video in link) (sports.espn.go.com) | (52) | ||
| Leaf still unable to turn over a new one (seattlepi.com) | (14) | ||
| Former NBA player and all-around good guy Brian Grant now trying to shake his greatest opponent (oregonlive.com) | (15) | ||
| Ever wanted to be in a foursome with Anna Rawson or other lovely LPGA ladies? Now's your chance (with piccie goodness) (sportsbybrooks.com) | (21) |
| Tony Gwynn to play for Padres. This is not a repeat from 1982-2001 (sandiego.padres.mlb.com) | (26) | ||
| 'Excuse me, but is your refrigerator running?" No, but at least he's out of the hospital (google.com) | (2) | ||
| After that stellar 20-1 loss performance by the White Sox, Peavy says no thanks (blogs.suntimes.com) | (34) | ||
| NBA Western Conference finals, Game 2 discussion thread. Can the Nuggets take home court advantage away from the Lakers? (sports.espn.go.com) | (176) | ||
| "At least 73 players on NFL rosters during the 2008 season were arrested on charges of driving under the influence" (sports.yahoo.com) | (44) | ||
| Eastern Conference Finals, Game 2. Carolina @ Pittsburgh. 7:30pm EDT on Versus. Who gets the chance to play the Red Wings for the cup? (espn.go.com) | (447) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Q: What do Callaway and Lance Armstrong have in common? A: Their one ball doesn't conform to industry standards (golfweek.com) | (24) | |
| Randy Moss REALLY likes fast pickup trucks, becomes owner in Camping World Truck Series (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (36) | ||
| Cleveland Browns WR Donte Stallworth may avoid DUI manslaughter conviction because, under Florida law, the victim was a "causation" to the accident by jaywalking (sports.yahoo.com) | (39) | ||
| (Pro Football Talk) | Ben Roethlisberger denies rumors of skin cancer. Terrell Owens still denying rumors of team cancer (profootballtalk.com) | (84) | |
| Chicago's wide receiver Rashied Davis' initial analysis of Jay Cutler: "comes fast and it's on you real quick." (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (41) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Yankees win 8th in a row. Now the "all that money doesn't buy teamwork" rants can stop and the "they're trying to buy a championship" rants can begin (nbcsports.msnbc.com) | (137) | |
| 3-time Sprint Cup Champion Jimmie Johnson to IRL star Danica Patrick: "Come on over, although not until you're ready. And, trust me, you're not ready." (sports.yahoo.com) | (41) | ||
| It's the time of year for stories about the Stanley Cup - this one includes "ass man" and "ass train" (online.wsj.com) | (13) | ||
| 50,000 Chiba Lotte Marines fans sign petition to keep Bobby Valentine as their manager. If not, a manager disguised as Bobby Valentine will work (myfoxdc.com) | (12) | ||
| Minority owner bids to keep Coyotes in Phoenix. In other news, there are now minorities in the NHL (cbc.ca) | (132) | ||
| Cubs fans about to have a universal cry as the Chicago Obama's have traded for Peavy (sports.yahoo.com) | (145) | ||
| NASCAR teams are folding, seats are empty, and TV ratings are down, although the last part may be due to Darrell Waltrip being the worst announcer ever, not the economy (usatoday.com) | (76) | ||
| Missing: Mets offense. Last seen in San Francisco. If found, please forward to Boston by Friday (nydailynews.com) | (31) | ||
| Wife of Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Scott Schoeneweis found dead in their home while he was playing a double-header in Florida (usatoday.com) | (19) | ||
| Yawn: Pakistani cricketer to miss international tournament. Fark: because he has crotch rot (news.bbc.co.uk) | (11) | ||
| Carl Long suspended 12 weeks and fined $200,000 for illegal engine. Also docked 200 owners points, giving him -153 owners points (nascar.com) | (24) | ||
| Dodgers sweep the Mets. Manny who? (nbcsports.msnbc.com) | (43) | ||
| Cleveland is once again reminded of its Clevelandness (scores.espn.go.com) | (66) | ||
| WWE will move Monday Night Raw to Los Angeles, though the event with the fixed outcome will remain in Denver (sports.espn.go.com) | (20) | ||
| Ortiz hits first homer of the year. This is not a repeat from earlier today (mlb.mlb.com) | (38) | ||
| Houston Astros, not satisfied with just being in last place, bat out of order (houston.astros.mlb.com) | (10) | ||
| Scott and Rob Niedermayer looking to join the Vancouver Canucks for next season (tsn.ca) | (31) | ||
| ESPN's Rick Reilly plagiarizes his own column. This is a repeat from 2003 (deadspin.com) | (31) |
| (Some Guy) | Bad move: Stealing a 1970 Impala. Really bad move: Stealing it from an NFL running back, while he's watching (post-gazette.com) | (54) | |
| NFL looking to expand the "Rooney Rule" which states that every team must have an old guy with bushy eyebrows who complains about everything (google.com) | (34) | ||
| (WBIR-TV) | NCAA: @UTLaneKiffin - lol can't post recruit name on Twitter pse k tnx bye (wbir.com) | (31) | |
| (Some Guy) | Notre Dame media guide omits losing seasons from Charlie Weis' bio. Says "it treated his coaching history like that of an assistant - only accentuating the positive." Bio reads "Charlie Weis - Head Coach" (journalgazette.net) | (17) | |
| Health officials link Mets to swine flu, choking (newsday.com) | (7) | ||
| Hapless Washington Nationals can't even do a simple thing right, like use a cannon to send sausages to fans (washingtonpost.com) | (48) | ||
| Mark ur kalendurz: July 9 iz a Cheezburger Nite wif teh Seeattul Maranurz (seattle.mariners.mlb.com) | (59) | ||
| A slideshow of what happened to Michael Vick's dogs. Number 5 seems particularly happy (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (129) | ||
| Not news: Rudy G's kid gets kicked off the Duke golf team. News: He sues and loses. Fark: The judge dismissing the case cites Carl Spackler. Duke sucks (thesmokinggun.com) | (96) | ||
| Ortiz hits his first homer (houston.astros.mlb.com) | (63) | ||
| Someone should tell Brian Campbell his turnover cost the Blackhawks the game. "If I'd do the play over again, maybe, I'd put a little sauce on that," he said. "But I've got to make that play" (sports.espn.go.com) | (13) | ||
| Cleveland Cavaliers facing Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals. Cleveland radio station is Majic 105.7 What to do? What to do...? (wtam.com) | (53) | ||
| Instead of medals, Olympic winners in 2010 will get Funyuns, Cheetos and more Funyuns (thestar.com) | (11) | ||
| Free at last. Free at last. Thank dog almighty, Michael Vick is free at last (kansascity.com) | (299) | ||
| It's the Ukranians vs. the Germans in the final match of UEFA Cup. Discussion for the 10 English speakers who are fans of either club to the right (soccernet.espn.go.com) | (30) | ||
| The agent for Joshua Cribbs, who apparently hasn't picked up a business section in the last few months, is demanding a new contract or a trade for his client. Cleveland Rocks (cleveland.com) | (16) | ||
| The Cleveland Indians big investment in Kerry Wood just keeps paying off (sports.yahoo.com) | (14) | ||
| (KMBC) | News: Two injured in brawl at Royals game. Fark: It started in the kiddie playground. "The saddest scene was a girl wrapped around mom's waist and saying, 'Please don't,' and she's throwing punches." (kmbc.com) | (28) | |
| Woman attending Mets game loses gold tooth in Citi Field toilet bowl, gets arm stuck trying to retrieve it. Workers eventually get her out but gold tooth, like Mets' 2009 season, remain in toilet (metro.co.uk) | (62) | ||
| Houston Rockets forward Ron Artest wants to check out his free agency options, see which city has the most hittable fans (sports.yahoo.com) | (21) | ||
| Clippers win draft lottery, Blake Griffin's career ends before it starts (usatoday.com) | (90) | ||
| Pussycat Doll trying to steer F1 stud Lewis Hamilton into the pit stop of matrimony (with extra Pussycat pics) (sportsbybrooks.com) | (19) | ||
| (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) | Steelers Linebacker James Harrison finally reveals the true reason he won't be visiting the White House: He's B.A. Baracus. Troy "Howlin' Mad" Polamalu spotted slowly sneaking up behind him with a syringe full of sedatives (post-gazette.com) | (54) | |
| Cardinals' emo shortstop Khalil Greene "did not dispute accounts that he has several times punished himself physically." (stltoday.com) | (28) | ||
| LA Kobes defeat Denver Carmelos 40-39... err, 105-103 (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (79) | ||
| For the low price of $25 million, celebrities like Jim Belushi, Bill Murray and John Cusack can get their part of the Chicago Cubs (sportingnews.com) | (14) |
| (NewOrleans.com) | SuperBowl returns to New Orleans for 2013 - Time to start that post-Katrina clean-up (neworleans.com) | (116) | |
| Years after being banned from sliding into a beer mug after homeruns, mascot Bernie Brewer will now land in a waterpark-sponsored "splash zone." If only the Brewers could have found some beer-related sponsorship (jsonline.com) | (58) | ||
| Patrick Kane played with dolls. This explains Sunday. Game 2 discussion is here (espn.go.com) | (477) | ||
| Ugly-ass pig named "Slumhog Millionaire" selected as St. Paul Saints new mascot; future breakfast side dish (startribune.com) | (23) | ||
| Canadian Olympic Committee refuses government demands to have olympians wear sealskin. "I think Canadians should say that Parliament has better things to do than something goofy like this." (canada.com) | (15) | ||
| Cheyenne Woods, an 18-year old golfer from Wake Forest University, gets LPGA exemption for June tournament. Perhaps you've heard of her uncle, Tiger (sports.espn.go.com) | (39) | ||
| Bruins' Andrew Ference to have off-season surgery to correct torn groin, bruised pelvis and hernia. I thought you were only supposed to party like that if you WIN the Stanley Cup (tsn.ca) | (4) | ||
| Old and busted (literally): Madonna. New hotness: Kate Hudson. Always there to hold you when you cry: Derek Jeter (foxnews.com) | (26) | ||
| Citing economic reasons, the Univeristy of Washington football program is so desperate to sell tickets they are asking current ticket holders to help pay for others' tickets. Nothing do with the fact that they didn't win a game last year (seattletimes.nwsource.com) | (12) | ||
| How screwed are the Phoenix Coyotes? Pretty screwed (theglobeandmail.com) | (96) | ||
| In honor of tonight's draft lottery, we revisit 1985 and the great fix put in by David Stern to get Patrick Ewing to New York (with video) (sportingnews.com) | (36) | ||
| Clearly Bill Simmons is betting on the Boston Bruins remaining a good team, as he pens an article about how much he now loves them, has always loved them, will always love them and stop looking at him like that (sports.espn.go.com) | (57) | ||
| NFL and Comcast settle dispute over NFL Network. Time Warner customers still SOL (sports.yahoo.com) | (31) | ||
| Once again, Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird is looking for a new jockey (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (11) | ||
| Edison Miranda's trainer says he used no illegal substances on his boxer during a recent bout, although he is aware that he has a right to remain silent, and anything he says could be used against him in a court of law (usatoday.com) | (4) | ||
| Point No. 3 may be one of the greatest Freudian slips of all time (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (39) | ||
| (Some Guy) | George Brett tells the reporter how he really feels about media criticism of the Royals (video) (royalsreview.com) | (13) | |
| Brett Favre will not have sugrey on his injrued amr aftre all |
(12) | ||
| Did you hear about the Brewer whose out for the year? Weeks. No, he's definitely out for a few months with a wrist injury. Weeks. Anyway, now they need to figure out who's on first. Who's on second (news.yahoo.com) | (20) | ||
| Cubs fans respond to Cardinals fans' racist T-shirt by making one equally as racist (deadspin.com) | (57) | ||
| "Yankee Stadium is our closest equivalent to the Roman Coliseum." Watch as we tear it down (nypost.com) | (16) | ||
| New York Mets lose after baserunner misses third base and defense makes five errors, expect to lose sponsorship from Chico's Bail Bonds |
(29) | ||
| Kentucky adds No. 1 hoops recruit John Wall; NCAA cancels 2009-10 basketball season and sends title to Lexington (sportingnews.com) | (90) | ||
| You're a New York Yankees pitcher who injured his arm. Do you blame it on: A) Bad mechanics, B) Arm fatigue, or C) Instant replay? (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) | (12) | ||
| Ron Artest: "Five dollar footlong is one of the best songs, that's a hot song. You've got the freecreditreport.com, and then five dollar footlong comes on. When five dollar footlong comes on, they should play that in the club." (sportingnews.com) | (56) | ||
| Patrick Roy denies being offered the Avalanche coaching job, so expect him to be introduced as the new head coach sometime tomorrow (cbssports.com) | (20) | ||
| "White Rhino," AKA the world's strongest man at 5-11 and 370 pound, says he doesn't take steroids because they would interfere with his day job as policeman (cnbc.com) | (22) | ||
| Denver's Pepsi Center dumping one scripted event for another |
(91) | ||
| PGA golfer teeing off from the roof of a 34-story hotel hits target placed 268 yards away in right field at San Diego's Petco park (www3.signonsandiego.com) | (28) |
| Denver Nuggets forward Kenyon Martin and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban have kissed and made up. Ha ha, no... Martin calls Cuban a "coward" for apologizing indirectly through a blog entry (sports.yahoo.com) | (449) | ||
| Top 10 worst sports team names of all time. Vincent Vega not amused (time.com) | (149) | ||
| Tom Golisano, owner of the Buffalo Sabres and Paychex, decides to leave NY state for Florida because of the high taxes. How high? He'll save over $13,000. Per day (buffalonews.com) | (654) | ||
| "Kournikova seeks new audience" - Link in story to 167 Anna pics should help (fanhouse.com) | (18) | ||
| (The State) | How do you celebrate a sweep against UGA baseball? If you're guessed attack a police car while drunk at 2am, then you can play for South Carolina too (thestate.com) | (5) | |
| Just like John Wayne Bobbitt, the New York Yankees are very close to getting their Wang back (nydailynews.com) | (11) | ||
| Jon "Chucky" Gruden replaces Tony Kornheiser for ESPN's "Monday Night Football" (sports.espn.go.com) | (88) | ||
| Former pitcher David Wells wants to ban all steroid users from baseball, although it's not clear where we would find enough clean Little Leaguers to fill all 30 MLB team rosters (nydailynews.com) | (25) | ||
| England launches bid for 2018 World Cup, saying it would be good for national team to lose on its own ground for a change (timesonline.co.uk) | (15) | ||
| Drew Rosenhaus says two teams are "serious" about signing Plaxico Burress. The other 30 teams just keep calling him Shirley (nydailynews.com) | (21) | ||
| England beat the Windies by an innnings and 83 runs (news.bbc.co.uk) | (31) | ||
| The Washington Nationals failure extends not only in their clubhouse, but their grounds crew as well (bareknucks.com) | (37) | ||
| Phillies manager Charlie Manuel may finally pull Chan Ho "It's Out of the" Park from the starting rotation (philly.com) | (8) | ||
| Owner of the Miami Dolphins decides that fans will love the Dolphins if he has Jimmy Buffet write a jingle for the team. Oh and if he renames the stadium after Buffet's beer. No, seriously (upi.com) | (24) | ||
| Ron Zook's mysterious late-night Twitter habits that look like private texts meant for a special someone (sportingnews.com) | (12) | ||
| Colorado Avalanche offer head coaching gig to Patrick Roy, Hall Of Famer and father of two jackbag sons (nbcsports.msnbc.com) | (33) | ||
| Crosby declared best on ice, Ovechkin bobblehead nods in agreement (nhl.com) | (149) | ||
| Top PGA player practicing the Happy Gilmore swing where he runs towards the ball and swings his club like a hockey stick. "There is nothing to prevent people from doing it" (dailymail.co.uk) | (40) | ||
| Brett Favre drove his truck today. This could mean he's considering playing again. But he ate a hamburger using his left hand. That means he'll stay retired (usatoday.com) | (28) |