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Sun May 03, 2009
(ESPN) Cool Carl Crawford swipes six bases tying the modern MLB record as Tampa defeats Boston 5-3 (80)
(VillageSoup.com) Cool Catching a foul ball at a Red Sox game? Good. Catching it upside the head? Not quite as good. Being glad it hit you and not any of the many kids surrounding you? Awesome (35)
(NYPost) Silly Officials in NYC still have no idea what to do about unfilled hole in the ground. No, not the World Trade Center hole, a different one (27)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Tampa Bay Rays relief pitcher self-identifies as baseball's leading Trekkie, complete with special Vulcan grip on his changeup (533)
(ESPN) Stupid The official campaign to outsource the Super Bowl has begun (77)
(ABC News) Interesting Baseball officials are reportedly looking deeper into A-Rod's past. Yankee fans learning new meaning of "roid rage" (65)
(YouTube) Video If you only watch one horse race, make it Saturday's Kentucky Derby (stay for the awesome blimp view towards the end) (50)
(ESPN) Cool After thousands of heart attack scares in Chicago and Boston, the Celtics move on to Round 2 (72)

Sat May 02, 2009
(Fightnews) Cool Who will win tonight? Pacquiao or Hatton? Superfight Boxing discussion (201)
(Yahoo) Cool Willie Gault does 100-meter dash in 10.80 seconds at 48 years old.... only seven tenths of a second slower than his personal best nearly 30 years ago (42)
(LiveLeak) Followup Scary raw video from inside the Dallas Cowboys' practice facility collapse (61)
(NHL) Sad Columbus Blue Jacket's #1 fan (and player for one day) has taken his last faceoff. Follow up tag too depressed to take this one (24)
(Yahoo) Cool High school pitcher pitches fourth consecutive perfect game, throws like a girl (162)
(CBS New York) Sappy N-new Y-york J-j-jets r-rookie s-succeeding d-despite s-s-s-speech impediment. T-t-t-t-today, Junior (15)
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid Washington Capitals cheerleader names interesting choice for "favorite book", leaves us to assume "Ow My Balls" is her favorite television show (36)
(CNN) Interesting For all those who picked Arsenal to be the next club to come under American control, you may step up and collect your prize (5)
(The Courier-Journal) Cool Long-shot Mine That Bird flies to victory in the 2009 Kentucky Derby (47)
(ESPN) Cool All good things must come to an end: Bulls vs Celtics Game 7 discussion thread (537)
(MSNBC) Cool Los Angeles California Orange County Angels of Anaheim kick Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia and his $161M contract to the curb. Completely Clueless Sabathia is now 1-3 on the season (78)
(NASCAR) Cool NASCAR Crown Royal 400 under the lights at Richmond discussion. It will be Kyle Busch's fault (388)
(ESPN) Scary In anticipation of the 2009 NFL season, the Dallas Cowboys' practice facility collapses (34)
(About.com) Sad Kentucky Derby fans endure three hours elbow-to-elbow with drunken, sweaty idiots wearing ridiculous clothing just to get two minutes of action, much like submitter's prom night  T-Shirt (112)
(WBBM) Unlikely Another sign of the bad economy: Little league striking out (6)
(Nola.com) Obvious Someone gets revenge on all who thought "I Want Revenge" would be running in the Kentucky Derby (234)
(BBC) Cool Manchester United's reserves play Middlesbrough, Fulham visit Chelsea, and Rice and Wenger could make their long-awaited comebacks for Arsenal against Portsmouth (87)
(ESPN) Cool "California Dreamin'" indeed, as Randy Johnson goes "Truckin'" for his 297th win, courtesy of Brian Wilson's save (13)
(FanNation) Obvious Brett Favre is enjoying a quiet retirement and says he doesn't miss football. Nah, I'm yankin' ya, he's hired a personal trainer to get in him in shape for yet another comeback, possibly with the Vikings (37)
(ESPN) Unlikely Carl Pavano, Kerry Wood shut down Tigers. Look, Ma, no DL (9)
(AJC) Silly Ultimate Frisbee team disbanded after they play without pants or underwear. "You have to wear clothing - it's in the rules." (23)
(YouTube) Scary Denise Richards sings "Take Me Out To The BallGame" at today's Chicago Cubs game. Sports fans agree: this is the worst affront to music and sport since Roseanne Barr's rendition of the National Anthem (82)

Fri May 01, 2009
(Miami Herald) Interesting Dolphin Stadium may soon become Land Shark Stadium. Just don't open the door (26)
(NHL) Misc NHL Playoff Discussion: ANA/DET @ 7:00pm - CAR/BOS @ 7:30pm (419)
(WTOP) Followup Michael Vick in talks to become PETA spokesman. Wait... WHAT? (169)
(Sign On San Diego) PSA Linebacker who lost his balls to steroids lets us know that questioning someone's "footballhood... is worse than questioning someone's manhood." (24)
(Some Guy) Obvious Major League Soccer joins the rest of the world in not giving a rat's ass about David Beckham: "I don't know whether he's going to leave at the end of this season, in November, or whether we want him back" (34)
(SFGate) Cool Cool: New Jersey man invents safe, shatter-proof wooden composite bat. Sad: MLB will probably never adopt it due to some stupid rule that a bat must be made of a single piece of wood (41)
(MSNBC) Scary Hockey Hall of Famer Guy Lafleur convicted, faces maximum of 14 years in prison. Prays no one goes "five hole" on him (47)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Peppers spices up the NFL offseason by pulling a no-show for Panthers minicamp (26)
(ESPN) Stupid Having solved all of the country's problems, Congress tackles the BCS (110)
(WWL) Interesting University: "We need to add $8 per credit hour to save the athletic program." Students: "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" (351)
(Sporting News) Amusing Israeli team penalized for fans' anti-Arab chants. Yankees seen taking copious notes (26)
(TwinCities.com) Silly Recently re-retired Brett Favre hires personal trainer, prepares re-un-re-unretiring statement (109)
(Dallas News) Strange In the amazing conclusion of "Who Shot T.O.?", we discover that it wasn't Jason Witten or Tony Romo who pulled the trigger, it was Brad Johnson (30)
(CNN) Cool Houston matches the accomplishments of North Korea as their Rockets get off the ground for the first time in 12 years  T-Shirt (33)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Celtics-Bulls game ends in triple overtime to force a game 7. Next game to be a steel cage climb the ladder match with no time limit and a three count pin (309)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Yankees rally for three runs in the 8th inning and defeat the Angels for their third straight victory. Yankee haters inconsolable (196)
(ESPN) Interesting Joe Paterno wants the Big Ten to be even more inaccurately named (62)
(CNN) Dumbass Old and busted: Reports of A-Rod taking steroids. New hotness: Reports of A-Rod tipping pitches to opposing hitters (51)
(ESPN) Cool "The Sixers never made a serious run in this game and were booed off the court at the end of the third quarter." (23)
(WTAM) Followup Indians place DH Travis Hafner on DL, where he spent 103 games last season. So NOW they'll start sucking (12)

Thu April 30, 2009
(NBA) Dumbass Ron Artest says that Brandon Roy is probably one of the easiest shooting guards he has played against. Just kidding, he says that Roy is better than Kobe Bryant and LeBron James (477)
(NHL) Cool NHL Round 2, Day One: CHI @ VAN 6pm PST/9pm EST (347)
(NHL) Fail NHL takes over control of Phoenix Coyotes (96)
(Some Guy) Dumbass No longer content to earn draws in boxing matches against opponents like Danny Bonaduce, Jose Canseco will fight a 7ft, 300-lb. legit super heavyweight at an MMA event in Tokyo (39)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Browns' WR Braylon Edwards stayed razor sharp and focused on every play vs. Houston Texans. Just kidding. During the game, he asked Texans safety Will Demps for advice on modeling and acting gigs (15)
(Pro Football Talk) Dumbass Former NFL running back Lawrence Phillips won't let a little thing like currently serving a 10-year sentence for using his car to attack three kids stop him from facing eight new felony charges for assaulting his girlfriend four years ago (9)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Yankees thank Derek Jeter for his stellar career and multiple World Series victories with the club by awarding him free use of luxury suite this season. Just kidding, they're charging him $850,000 (55)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Blackhawks "believe in themselves", which is good because they also believe winning a series in 4 straight is a sign of weakness (40)
(CNN) PSA Open letter to NFL rookies: Congrats. You made it. Now STFU and GBTW (25)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Mexico decides to conduct a bunch of soccer games the way we do in the US: With no fans in the stands  T-Shirt (61)
(TSN) Stupid Having built a team good enough to win the Presidents' Trophy, San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson considers guttting the team and starting over after first-round playoff exit (89)
(USA Today) Unlikely With new QB Pat White, Miami Dolphins ready to transform Wildcat offense into full Wolverine mode (69)
(CBS Sports) Cool Zach Greinke gives up 2 runs, ballooning his ERA to an astronomical 0.50. Oh yeah he's also 5-0 with 44 K's and 8 walks (68)
(ESPN) Spiffy Denver Nuggets finally clear obstruction from their throats, advance to second round of playoffs for first time in 15 years (62)
(ESPN) Dumbass The A-Roid saga injected with new life, claims surface he juiced with the Yankees and teammates needled him with the nickname "Biatch Tits"  T-Shirt (159)
(post gazette) Asinine Don't worry, horse racing fans; if Saturday's Stanley Cup Playoff game goes to double overtime, NBC will dump it to go to the Kentucky Derby (138)
(WWL) Interesting The Saints are about to ink a deal to keep them in New Orleans through 2025, or at least the next three hurricanes (22)

Wed April 29, 2009
(News.com.au) Dumbass Football club can't understand why promotion for "All White Night" showing men in full Ku Klux Klan outfits on would be offensive. With "you've got to be kidding" pic (151)
(Major League Baseball) Asinine Now that teams have played a whopping 20 games, you can vote for this year's MLB All-Star Game starters (54)
(ESPN) Asinine KG throws elbow in last year's NBA first round playoff series and is hailed as a presence, Superman does it this year and is also hailed as a presence... oh wait no he got suspended (71)
(ESPN) Video Mike Golic gets waxed, and ESPN is kind enough to post the video for all to see (26)
(SFGate) Obvious Oakland's Nomar Garciaparra goes back to his usual haunt: the disabled list (18)
(homerderby.com) Video When idiots try to play baseball with a potato gun, you know something's gonna get mashed. And it ain't the potato (37)
(ESPN) Amusing Auburn uses stretch limo as in-state recruiting aid. Florida State scoffs, says theirs has hookers and blow (30)
(Some Guy) Interesting Toronto Blue Jays fans: Please stop getting your hopes up, you still haven't played an AL East team (56)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Fail Linebacker asks for release from the Super Bowl champions so that he can play for the Detroit Lions. Is there any tag stronger than "Fail"? (38)
(Some Leglocker) Misc 70's & 80's wrestler "Playboy" Buddy Rose taps out. He's still alive to me, dammit (79)
(WFAA) Dumbass MLB Network broadcaster takes time out of reporting Brad Hawpe's scary injury to point out that one of the EMT's looks famous. Awkward (39)
(ESPN) Cool Dana White decides to give Anderson Silva a real opponent, Forrest Griffin (74)
(USA Today) Interesting How messed up are NFL rookie contracts? Teams would rather trade down in the draft than up, and Matthew Stafford is already making more than Tom Brady (62)
(USA Today) Dumbass Suspended pitcher: "It's the supplement maker's fault. I was told it was okay to use their product." Supplement maker: "Uh, did you try reading the large warning on the label?" (21)
(Forbes) Fail "It's simply not a very good rivalry when one team puts together eight World Series-caliber teams (Cardinals) and the other one (Cubs) finishes in last or second-to-last place in 29 of the 60 seasons we measured" (117)
(Yahoo) Interesting Fans may be banned from attending next week's Spanish F1 race over swine flu concerns, so there's at least one good thing about it (21)
(Yahoo) Amusing Arena football team: "Hey, let's offer Michael Vick a contract. This will be funny and get us some publicity." Team owner: "We did WHAT???" (20)
(ESPN) Cool UF's backup QB Jonh Brantley had a great spring and may see as much playing time this season as Tebow did as a freshmen in 2006. "When you start shaving and get that manly look, you start looking better" (10)
(BuffaloBills.com) Stupid After trading away one of the leagues best offensive tackles last week, Buffalo Bills reveal that they had no intention to draft his replacement (13)
(Newsday) Obvious Stop me if you heard this one before: Mets bullpen implodes against the Marlins during a NY elimination game (sorry Rangers fans) (39)
(CNN) Florida "I got the razor in my bag, and I'm ready to go home and get it over with." Dude, it's just one hit (21)
(ESPN) Interesting Five brand new things that will ensure Madden 10 is exactly the same as Madden 09 (67)
(Boston Globe) Sad New England Patriots trade Hobbs for a can of soda and a bag of magic beans. Calvin inconsolable (35)
(SMH) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: Hooker named Indoor Athlete of the Year (47)
(Some Guy) Amusing Bob Knight takes time out of a coaching clinic in Holland to show Dutch sports reporters why he is such a great interview as well, at the 2:30 mark (Not safe for work language) (9)
(ESPN) Spiffy Celtics/Bulls goes into overtime, ends as a one-possession game as time expires. This is not a repeat of Game 4. Or Game 1 (145)
(ESPN) Obvious Jets officially release Brett Favre, begin teaching Mark Sanchez how to throw game-killing interceptions (50)

Tue April 28, 2009
(Sports by Brooks) Cool George Steinbrenner's more understated son, Hal, completes front office coup, shoving brother Hank's goon squad to backseat (32)
(Fox Sports) Cool Arizona Cardinals do what U2 should have done years ago, kick Edge to the curve (47)
(CBS Sports) Cool Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford reads Letterman's Top 10: "8. If the Lions win one game this year, I'm a hero" (45)
(NHL) Cool Awesome: Game 7 in Stanley Cup Playoffs. Awesomer: Two Game 7s. Awesomest: Two Game 7s on the same night Awesomisbilimagnificus: Two Game 7s on the same night GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME (682)
(ESPN) Dumbass Chicago Bears LB Lance Briggs injures his hand while shaving. Wait, what? (82)
(My Fox NY) Obvious Yankees slash premium seat prices from laughingly insane to just insane. Still no cure for their sucking like Duke so far this year (22)
(ESPN) Cool Hate Joakim Noah? Good. He wants you to (55)
(Yahoo) Cool Washington Redskins draft pick Cody Glenn: "I lied about why I was suspended from Nebraska football, but now I'm telling the truth....or am I?" (14)
(Oregon Live) Obvious Nate McMillan says what NBA fans have known for years: the officiating sucks. "When did basketball become mixed martial arts?" (67)
(YouTube) Interesting Turns out Happy Gilmore was on to something (43)
(YardBarker) Spiffy Pleased with the Eagles' offseason moves, McNabb is "looking forward" to getting oh-so close but choking in the end of the upcoming season (22)
(CNN) Dumbass Given the wild inaccuracy of every mock draft this year, SI has decided to discontinue them. Just kidding, here's your 2010 first round preview (40)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Yes, the infield is the cayenne pepper in the Churchill Downs recipe for Derby success - the 40-acre party where 80,000 fans run amok wearing everything from horseracing costumes to designer fashions, many of them staggeringly drunk" (19)
(CNN) Cool Via facebook, UF's Alex Tyus announces intent to return to program. "All over ST. LOUIS right now but yeaaa man whats all the negativity about? ill be back in gainesville at the end of june, relaxxxx i am going nowhere" (5)
(Soccer by Ives) Interesting 58 American stadiums could potentially host World Cup matches. Because everybody wants to go to a soccer match in Iowa (46)
(BBC) Spiffy And then there were four. Chelsea travels to the Nou Camp today to take on Barcelona in the Champions League (108)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Even though he's a pariah and hasn't played in almost two years, B*rry B*nds would like everybody to know that he still hasn't retired (54)
(FanNation) Silly The 2009 NFL draft is in the bag, so what do they potentially have in store for 2010: giving the first round its own day -- and a prime-time television slot (43)
(LA Times) Amusing Lakers center Andrew Bynum receives high grades for his play against Utah. Ha ha, no... "For the fifth consecutive postseason game, he stumbled and hacked and was taken out before he could hurt anybody" (14)
(Free Press) Cool WR Boldin signs with Detroit. Not that one, the other one (25)
(USA Today) Dumbass Redskins QB Jason Campbell rushed to hospital in waaaaahmbulance after learning that Washington even considered drafting Mark Sanchez (48)
(Yahoo) Silly Everything is working out in Cleveland. Back to his Cy Young winning ways, Cliff Lee pitches 8 scoreless innings and hands the game over to high dollar closer Kerry Wood. What could possibly go wrong? (39)
(ESPN) Fail San Jose chokes on their duck and are out in six (116)
(Yahoo) Cool Not news: Completing a four-point play. News: Doing it twice in the same game. Fark: Doing it twice in a span of 11 seconds (8)
(Boston Globe) Obvious To: The Yankees - Subject: "You suck " - From: The Tigers - CC: Sabathia  T-Shirt (64)
(NBA) Spiffy Atlanta Hawks defeat Dwyane Wade (23)
(Yahoo) Cool Good Night, Mike Keenan. Chicago Blackhawks top the Calgary Flames in six games to advance to the second round of the NHL playoff for the first time since 1996 (72)
(SeattlePI) Fail With one last chance to save their season by tying up their series on their home court, the New Orleans Hornets lose by 58 points (55)

Mon April 27, 2009
(Kotaku) Amusing Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right... MICHAEL VICK NO (93)
(AZCentral) Interesting Guy quits his day job to start an Arizona Cardinals fan club. Don't quit your... never mind (16)
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine Kobe Bryant's official website provides fans with an inside look at the NBA superstar. Added bonus: Fans only have to pay $50 to read his bi-monthly blog posts (18)
(ESPN) Asinine Donald Brashear is so confident the Capitals will win Game 7 he's taking the next 6 games off (85)
(IndyStar) Unlikely Indianapolis: "Umm, can we get back 5 of the 750mil we handed you for the stadium deal? It's bankrupting us, enraging taxpayers, and strangling the restaurants." Colts Owner: "Nope. We're good" (34)
(ESPN) Satire Yankees to build new $900 million summer "vacation" stadium in the Hamptons (8)
(NHL) Asinine "Flames familiar with facing adversity " more like familiar with choking in the playoffs (158)
(Washington Post) Obvious The New York Rangers are prissy little girls (129)
(Deadspin) Stupid Welcome to Citi Field. Here is your Kool Aid (19)
(NYPost) Dumbass Kobe Bryant seizes creative control of Spike Lee's documentary about him. Bryant's changes insure that film will be wildly entertaining and technically dazzling for first 86 minutes, then fall completely apart in final 7 (33)
(1010WINS) Stupid NY MTA cancels special train to Belmont Racetrack. If only there were another means of transportation to see the horses run around in a circle (55)
(Deadspin) Video Carolina Hurricane fan so jazzed up after goal that he makes his kid simulate fellatio on him (63)
(ESPN) Followup Bobby Allison, the driver whose scary crash at Talladega is the reason NASCAR uses restrictor plates, disagrees with Carl Edwards' assessment of the dangers of restrictor plate racing (59)
(Kansas City) Obvious The biggest draft day bust? Herman Edwards (34)
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing Michael Vick appears on Family Guy, and it ends about how you'd expect (51)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Bowing to financial pressures, MIT eliminates eight sports teams. In other news, MIT had eight sports teams (12)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Jacobowned (video) (222)
(ESPN) Strange Bill Cosby + Erin Andrews + Quan Cosby = Awkwardness (44)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Lingerie football league to begin playing in Fort Lauderdale. John Madden rumored to come out of retirement to call games. WHOA LOOK AT THAT HOLE  T-Shirt (80)

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