FARK.com: Sports links -- Archives for 2009-04-12

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Sun April 12, 2009

	The NHL playoffs are set. Give us your predictions	(174)
	Sharks receive Presidents' Trophy, frickin' laser beams	(27)
	If you had the Angels and Red Sox for the first bench-clearing brawl of this early MLB season, step up and claim your prize	(50)
(KOLO TV)	Cincinnati Reds outfielder Chris Dickerson trying to stay off the disabled list after injuring himself while operating: A) a motorcycle, B) a jet ski, or C) a hotel revolving door?	(4)
	Dear Braves, Better you than us. Love, the Mets	(42)
	"Speed riding is a hybrid of paragliding and skiing. It needs, ideally, wide-open slopes with no crowds. Oh yes, and an almost total disregard for your own safety"	(8)
	Our long national nightmare is over: Byron Leftwich signs 2-year deal to be Bucs QB	(33)
	And if anyone still wonders why soccer is not that popular in the U.S., here is a perfect example	(195)
	Can Tiger or Phil will themselves to the top of the leaderboard or will Kenny Perry or Angel Cabrera hold onto the lead? Your Sunday Masters discussion thread	(277)
	"So, the time has come to ask the burning question: Which Toronto team is the biggest loser? Is it the Maple Leafs or Raptors?"	(33)
	The best hockey game you didn't see all week -- Boston U scores twice in the final minute to force OT, goes on to win 5th NCAA title	(55)
(Some Guy)	Man suing the owner of the White Sox after getting injured by a free t-shirt during a game. Hopes to sue for the shirt off his back	(20)

Sat April 11, 2009

		Roger Federer gets married. Still no cure for French Open	(7)
		Halladay / Celebrate ♫ / If we took Roy Halladay ♫ And he pitched for the Blue Jays ♫ The Cleveland Indians lost the game ♫ It would be/ it would be so nice ♫ Halladay ♫ The Tribe are 0-5 ♫ Halladay	(31)
		Opponents of the Detroit Red Wings won't be able to stop the Franzen for the next 11 years	(44)
		A look back at some of the more craptatic jerseys in NHL history. And yes, Captain Highliner is there	(79)
		Bodycheck in non-contact hockey game leads to $245,000 lawsuit. Hockey players are such wusses	(28)
		Cavaliers defeat 76ers, clinch No. 1 seed for playoffs. Just a few more months and LBJ will have his first ring and will relentlessy be compared to Michael Jordan all over again	(44)
		The top four teams are all in action today in the English Premier League	(93)
		Braves win home opener in extras against the Nats. Subby knows this usually wouldn't get greenlit, but because he caught a foul ball at the game, he figures it's his lucky night, so he'll try anyway	(31)
		Greg Norman has now blown more Masters than Barbara Eden	(32)
		Phoenix awarded 2011 MLB All-Star game. Phoenix in middle July? Sign me up	(53)

Fri April 10, 2009

	Satan has been summoned to battle against the Devils	(34)
	Now that college basketball season is over, we can finally start turning our attention toward other - oh, we already have next year's NCAA basketball rankings? Oh, okay then	(44)
	Celine Dion considering bid for Montreal Canadiens, if she can get the Titanic theme song back from the Maple Leafs	(14)
	DeWanna Bonner? Well, do you?	(16)
	2009 Iron Bowl will be held on a Friday, which will be the first time most of the spectators have been to a college campus on a weekday	(20)
	Hollywood Wax Museum auctioning off wax figures of sports legends, notes that the only way to tell the difference between the real and fake Tiger Woods is that the wax one sweats occasionally	(4)
	Presenting the best and worst ballpark promotions for 2009. Yes, even your team has a dumb one	(56)
	After further tests following last night's line-drive shot to the forehead, Giants pitcher Joe Martinez diagnosed as having fractured skull; will remain in hospital and go on DL	(32)
	The way life should be: four teams, three days, two playoff spots, one conference, more than a few beers	(72)
	The luckiest bystander in golf is PGA pro Luke Donald, who played with Nicklaus in his last round at St. Andrews and is paired with Gary Player for his last round at Augusta. Wearing black, naturally	(6)
(Some Guy)	A look at CC's new ridiculous pad where he can relax after giving up six earned runs in four innings (w/ pic)	(35)
	Reds drop 50k on a pitching machine to improve their team average. Edwin Encarnacion sets a new high score on what he thinks is a super cool video game	(10)
	For only $90 you too can learn to drive the Zamboni	(77)
	Rays' reward for winning the AL pennant? Local cable providers showing half as many games as they did last season	(28)
	The sickest NHL shootout goal you will see all week	(82)
	The sickest non-NHL shootout goal you will see all week	(25)
	Carl Pavano shows the Yankees they gave up on him too soon. Just kidding, he gets shelled for 9 runs, lasts 1 inning in first start for Indians	(56)
	Giants' Joe Martinez takes a hard line drive off face, watch those knees buckle	(67)

Thu April 09, 2009

	NHL says next outdoor game is to be played at Fenway Park. Hopefully the Leafs or the team that resembles orange traffic cones are not in it	(51)
	The Columbus Blue Jackets have clinched a playoff spot for the first time in franchise history. Subby was shocked to find a hockey team in Columbus	(54)
	Need someone to root for this week at the Masters? How about a Mississippi gas station owner playing as an amateur	(28)
	Lance Armstrong has never failed a drug test but the French may have found a loophole to punish him anyway	(81)
	Shaq indicates willingness to play for Dallas Mavericks. Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban indicates unwillingness to trade for Shaq	(33)
	Apparently it is against Australian Rules Football regulations to simulate sex between a rubber chicken and a chicken carcass. Who knew?	(12)
	New Cleveland Browns regime "smitten" with USC QB Mark Sanchez, could draft him with #5 overall pick in draft. Where that leaves Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson, we're not sure	(55)
	TO shocks the hell out of friends, associates, and the Buffalo Bills by unexpectedly showing up for voluntary workouts	(44)
	In his long career, Randy Johnson had never given up a home run to a pitcher. That changed last night	(44)
	Ex-NBA star Marvin Webster found dead in hotel bathtub	(27)
	Angels starting pitcher Nick Adenhart suffers the ultimate loss	(182)
	If your high school baseball coach says your team is 'snake-bitten' what else should you do but buy a snake, kill it and bury it on the field?	(47)
	Down by seven in the seventh, Philadelphia Phillies use their newly acquired World Series rings to activate their Wonder Twin powers, rally past Atlanta	(45)
(Some Guy)	John Daly is at the Masters after all. Well, at least outside the clubhouse hawking his clothing line	(17)
	Glasgow Celtic players "afraid to go out in public" in case fans attack them or spit on them. Among professional athletes, only the members of the Toronto Maple Leafs suffer this sort of shame	(29)
	When you hit your golf ball in the water, it sinks. When Vijay Singh does it, on purpose, it skips onto the green for a Hole in One	(83)
	NFL teams set up fake Facebook accounts of hot chicks to friend potential draft picks and then spy on them. Or send Easter eggs	(11)
	Curtis Joseph ties the NHL record for most losses by a goalie. To be fair, the Leafs blow	(44)
	School administrators change name of football stadium in fear of drug references; still mulling over what to do with the hash marks	(100)
	As new generation of golfers comes up, Tiger Woods increasingly looking like the grumpy old fart who'd like them to get off his greens so he could have a nap	(7)
	The Madden curse is getting greedy, and now it might claim two players this season: Arizona's Larry Fitzgerald and Pittsburgh's Troy Polamalu	(19)

Wed April 08, 2009

(Who Dey)	It's been quite a while since a mocking Bengals/criminal headline actually applied to a Bengal. Now thanks to Leon Hall & his DUI things are getting back to normal	(11)
	If you're a MLB announcer who just turned 50, you probably shouldn't be canoodling with a girl at a concession stand who looks young enough to attract Chris Hansen's atttention (with pics)	(79)
	U.S. jumps two spots to No. 15 in FIFA rankings, the highest ranking for the U.S. since July 2007	(93)
	The Yankees don't care about their fans. No, seriously	(58)
	New York Yankees insist CC Sabathia is healthy despite drop in velocity, lack of control, use of a heating pad, and the Baltimore Orioles bombing him the way Germany did to France	(103)
	Joba Chamberlain sobriety test video. Insults New Yorkers and Yankee legend Yogi Berra	(74)
	Michael Jordan's youngest son Marcus, having led his team to the high school state title, chooses that perennial basketball powerhouse, University of Central Florida. Wait, what?	(105)
	Carolina Hurricanes tie club record with ninth straight win by beating New York Islanders 9-0. The Islanders also set a team record... for biggest margin of defeat	(28)
(Some Peeper)	Today's hot blond female coach having a lesbian relationship with a 16-year-old girl brought to you by Gonzaga University. (with "aw yeah" mug shot)	(57)
	Muhammad Ali, Bill Cosby, and Hank Aaron win MLB's Beacon Awards, honoring individuals whose lives are emblematic of the civil rights movement	(28)
	On May 1st, the NFL Network could. Go. All. The. Way. Off of Comcast subscribers televisions	(101)
	UConn women win 6th National Championship by going 39-0 and beating every opponent by double digits. All three women's basketball fans suitably impressed	(39)
	Champion Australian cyclist Jobie Dajka found dead. Again the healthy ones fall by the wayside and us fatasses keep on rollin'	(16)
	They weren't saying "boo" when the Toronto Maple Leafs beat you 4-1. No, New Jersey Devils, they were saying "boo-urns"	(34)
	ESPN's Pat Forde refers to Carolina's win over Michigan State as a "seal clubbing". PETA protest in 3...2..1	(20)

Tue April 07, 2009

	Alcohol banned from the Blue Jays' stadium after fans get drunk as a skunk on Messin' With Recession night. "These people can't handle it"	(34)
	Bengals Sign Tank Johnson. Sources say the deal was struck after he agreed to only miss one year of his contract due to suspension. Seriously, are the Bengals even trying anymore?	(26)
	Sure, the Lions are allowed to pass on the No. 1 pick, but is the player Detroit drafts allowed to turn the team down?	(21)
	ESPN hates hockey fans, hockey fans hate ESPN. Sunrise, Sunset	(49)
	Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett starts a blog where he discusses farts by lady friends and aliens. This should be fun	(20)
	British athlete names new diving partner. This is not another soccer story	(39)
	Redskins are all "Jason I am SOOO sorry" and he was all "I thought we were BFFs" and they were all "I messed up" and he was all "yeah" and they were all "I am sorry are we still going out?"	(60)
	According to Sports Illustrated, the World Champion Phillies might as well call off the rest of the season. Because as we all know, baseball is a game where an entire season hinges on the outcome of one game in April	(68)
	Richard Petty will enter a car #43 driven by John Andretti... in the Indy 500. Wait, what?	(31)
	San Antonio Spurs lose Manu Ginobili for the rest of the season and the playoffs, although the playoffs will probably be a lot shorter now for the Spurs	(60)
(Kansas State Collegian)	Jordan should be inducted into Hall of Fame by himself. In fact, Jordan's number should be retired, not only from the Bulls or the NBA, but from numbers altogether. From now on, children will learn to count; 21, 22, Jordan, 24, etc	(231)
	Current White Sox star Mark Buehrle, 30: "Spring training makes me sore." Former White Sox star Billy Pierce, 82: "Take a Midol, wimp, and Get Off My Lawn™."	(10)
	OKC Thunder owner: "You had a pakistani, a anerexoic (sic) black girl, and a black midget with a pickle in her hand the whole time." Sounds kinky	(33)
	Cubs. 1st Place. Book It. Done	(108)
	Jose Canseco "90% sure" that Manny Ramirez used steroids because nobody would sign him to a long term contract this past offseason	(21)

Mon April 06, 2009

	D-Backs Tony Clark and Felipe Lopez hit homers from both sides of the plate in 9-8 win over Rockies. Clark and Lopez are now on pace to each hit 324 homers this year	(34)
	What does $161 million dollars get you? If you're the Yankees, it's giving up 6 runs in 4 innings to the Orioles	(114)
	NFL receiver Reggie Williams was tasered and arrested for drug possesion. This is not a repeat from February	(33)
	It all comes down to this: Michigan St. Spartans vs North Carolina Tar Heels NCAA Mens Championship discussion thread	(263)
	New Archbishop of Westminster says Easter Sunday football is against scripture and the tenets of Christianity. Obviously he's never heard the old "Jesus saves, but Keegan scores on the rebound" joke	(28)
(Press Democrat)	As if they haven't already reached the bottom of the barrel, Oakland Raiders prepare to sign QB Jeff George	(35)
	Texas removes asterisk banner upon notice that claiming titles you didn't win only flies in Los Angeles	(34)
	28% of MLB players were born outside the US. The Dominican Republic has the most players (81) and the Netherlands has 1 player. In other news, someone in the Netherlands not only plays baseball, but is a Major Leaguer	(32)
	Biggest star of the NBA meets biggest star of the NHL. Awkward hilarity ensues as LeBron has no idea who Ovechkin is (w/ vid)	(40)
	Atlanta Braves to retire Greg Maddux's uniform number	(21)
	Ruling will allow the Chiefs to cut Larry Johnson without paying him $3.5 million in guaranteed money because he violated the morals clause of his contract. Actually, he folded, spindled and shredded it	(18)
	Boston Bruins annoucer Jack Edwards: "This whole idea that hockey will do better if you put it back on ESPN is a delusion. It is completely delusionary"	(57)
	Playing for the Clippers is enough to drive you to drink (and then drive). Just ask Zach Randolph	(15)
	The inductees for the 2009 NBA Hall of Fame include Michael Jordan, three members of the Utah Jazz, and the women's coach partially responsible for getting Don Imus fired	(58)
	The Top 7 shiat kickers or UFC fighters of all time	(48)
	After women's softball rejects joint men's/women's baseball bid for 2016 games, the International Baseball Federation will offer women's baseball as an alternative. And possibly men's softball. Wait....what?	(13)
	As American as apple pie and government bailouts...It's your MLB Opening Day thread	(376)
	Daily Mail staff meeting: "Since there's obviously little news to report on, let's do a story on how Serena Williams is having problems finding bikini bottoms that fit". "Do we have pics?" "Oh yes"	(57)
	So, it's opening day, which means it's time for the 10 Best Baseball Songs (that aren't John Fogerty's "Centerfield")	(103)
	Asterisks -- Not just for baseball any more	(27)
	Golfer celebrates victory with traditional wet t-shirt exhibition	(18)
	TV racing presenter forced to apologise after telling jockey he has terrible teeth in front of 600 million viewers in 168 countries	(24)
	The difference between Paris, France and Ashley Paris? One is known worldwide for its monument, the other is now known for her monumental fail. Well, to the dozens of people that follow women's hoops	(37)
	Olympic Committee tours Chicago, expects bribe requests to be far less awkward than in Salt Lake City	(71)
	Gunfire erupts at Brady wedding. Authorities on the lookout for estranged houskeeper and her butcher accomplice	(32)
	The New York Times picks Royals to win their division. In related news, the old gray lady last seen with 23 cats and eight years of magazines stacked to the ceiling	(47)