FARK.com: Sports links -- Archives for 2009-03-29

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Sun March 29, 2009

	Keeping up with this year's NASCAR trend, another douchebag takes the checkered flag	(40)
	Chicago's police union may sabotage the Chicago 2016 Olympic bid	(28)
	Tiger Woods	(174)
	No man alive has coached the Buffalo Bills to a championship	(27)
	President Obama 0-for-2 on Final Four Barack-etology	(56)
	God continues to punish Jim Leyland for what he did to Pittsburgh	(34)
	Violence increases in 2010 Olympic site, Vancouver. Officials consider moving Olympics to that smart Kingston city instead	(28)
	The Toronto sports fan's dilemma: "The Leafs suck. The Raptors suck. The Argos suck. The Jays suck. The Rock suck. And Toronto FC usually sucks, too"	(33)
(Some Guy)	Why Larry Walker belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame: "I don't think there's an argument about whether Larry Walker is the greatest Canadian ballplayer ever"	(52)
	China defeats Sweden for world curling title. Epic. Wang Freaking Bingyu manned up huge. Awesome. Hey Sweden: tell me how my a** tastes. War Chinese curling, unwar Sweden. Out	(40)
(Some Blogger)	Good news: NHL has found consistent audience on NBC. Bad news: It's very "select"	(55)
	Bernie Madoff's Mets tickets could soon be on the market, then stolen from buyers	(3)
	Overrated Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter to be replaced in 2010 by cheaper, harder-working Mexican immigrant. It's the American way	(46)
	In a world where scoring is measured by hundredths of a point, one girl not only crushes the competition, but sets a new record as the first female skater to break the 200 pt mark. And she's hot and legal	(21)
(Some F1A)	FYI. There is a 58 lap parade going on in Australia	(31)
	Alysheba, dubbed 'America's Horse' after winning 1987 Kentucky Derby and Preakness, has died. His story will keep you glued to the page	(57)

Sat March 28, 2009

	Findlay beats Cal Poly Pomona on a buzzer beater in OT to win Division II National Championship	(18)
	Mark Cuban questions refs' non-call in Mavs game via Twitter. In future news, David Stern twitters "LOL I just fined my guy Cubes $25K for mouthing off about refs wut a tool OMG"	(11)
(Some Guy)	The road to South Africa resumes today. Your country is playing today - and this is your official World Cup qualifying thread	(234)
	Kerry Rhodes thinks Jay Cutler is too cocky for the Jets. The source of Rhodes sand comes from Cutler dropping 357 and 2 touches on them in November. We all know the NFL is no place for cocky players	(86)
(OSG Sports)	Another example why political reporters stalking ex-head coaches never mix	(24)
	The #1 team in the NHL gets shut-out by the last place team	(77)

Fri March 27, 2009

	The greatest Formula 1 drivers of all time - and the best driver NASCAR has ever produced still is not as good as Number 10	(78)
	San Francisco won't draft Matt Stafford due to him not opening up about his parent's divorce	(71)
	Major League Baseball is facing a potential drop in attendance of around 5-10% this season. Or, if you're a Florida Marlins fan, about 80 fewer people	(35)
	Wade Phillips lost the few shreds of credibility he had in Cowboys locker room	(14)
	Japanese schoolgirl pitcher makes her pro baseball debut. Of course, she throws like...Tim Wakefield?	(59)
	Diego Maradona responds to claims that he used drugs by saying that Pele lost his virginity to a man	(15)
(WKYT-TV)	The end of the Billy G Experiment in Kentucky. Duke sucks	(82)
(WTVN)	Protip: If you're going to repeatedly call a hockey arena and threaten the home team goalie during a game, disable your caller ID and try not to be wearing the opposing team's jersey when the cops show up at your house	(49)
	To make things easier for Aggie football players, coaches will use more one syllable words. Also, the playbook will now be on the back of the kid's menu and come with crayons	(16)
	OU basketball star will win tourney or give back scholarship	(65)
	Report says missing NFL players' boat was badly anchored, kind of like the Oakland Raiders' linebacking corps next season	(30)
(ComCast)	John McEnroe duped in art scam. WHAT ARE YOU, BLIND???	(15)
(Poughkeepsie Journal)	Despite a brand-new training facility in New Jersey, Jets coach Rex Ryan wants the team to practice in an isolated location to build unity. Jets fans who've seen their last few Decembers suggest Siberia	(27)
	New York Jets RB Leon Washington says he wants to "revolutionize" the game, compares himself to Gale Sayers, and says the Jets had better start paying him the big bucks right now	(36)
(Some Guy)	Ottawa Senators borrow page from Maple Leafs' playbook, pat themselves on the back for a terrific season that will be unsullied by any playoff games	(31)
	"Illegal" cars dominate Formula 1 at opening race in Australia as teams complain Williams, Toyota and Brawn cars do stuff like pass other vehicles and spoil the stately processional that Ferrari is supposed to dominate	(81)
	LeBron James does in one try that a million poor schmos can't do at halftime of countless NBA games	(83)
	Marcus Denmon swishes a 70-foot three-pointer as time expires in the first half in Mizzou's beatdown of Memphis	(43)
	Duke gets buried 77-54 by Villanova, avalanche of Fark FAIL tags. Duke sucks	(101)

Thu March 26, 2009

	In case you didn't already hate Memphis coach John Calipari, here is a well reasoned article on why you should	(81)
	Devils goalie Martin Brodeur has to pay ex-wife $500,000 a year until 2020 after going five-hole with his sister-in-law	(60)
	OMFG drnk guy paSd out n my seat n cnt wake him ^ come 2 sec 442 LOL	(17)
	Baseball club offering all-you-can-eat deals will also provide fans with a "flatulence filter that is held onto the inside of the underwear with two self-adhesive strips"	(8)
	And so it begins: NFL might consider sponsors' logos on practice uniforms	(62)
	Following their first winning season and World Series appearance, Rays make the only logical move: send their top prospect back to the minors	(55)
	After two-year retirement, Kim Clijsters returns to women's tennis tour, funny headlines	(17)
	England's top badminton players withdraw from India Open amid security concerns... because nothing strikes fear into the hearts of millions like a terrorist attack on badminton players	(11)
	A judge rules that suggesting that John Daly is kind of a scumbag isn't really libel	(12)
	Coming off an alleged failed suicide attempt, Isiah Thomas now looking to turn his life around. Enter the L.A. Clippers	(35)
	Hot tennis pro Anna Kournikova ran the gamut yesterday, ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange and playing beer pong with Jimmy Fallon. (pics, video)	(61)
	Nutjob stalker with two guns and duct tape tried to break onto set of "Dancing with the Stars" to meet Olympic gold-medal gymnast Shawn Johnson	(76)
(Some Guy)	Even if you're a pro football player, run a red light in Texas and the cops will absolutely not let you have the last seconds with your dying mother-in-law. Even if they stop you with no chase in the hospital parking lot with nurses pleading	(553)
	BoSox pitcher John Smoltz imitates Clay Aiken; says his first mound session was "awkward"	(46)

Wed March 25, 2009

	Miami Dolphins QB Chad Pennington takes the court vs. Nadia Petrova, the 9th best women's player in the world	(40)
	MMA fighter drinks his own urine every day. And you thought the Whizzinator was effective against drug tests	(41)
	Rafael Palmeiro, known steroid user, elected to Hall Of Fame. Suck it, Pete Rose	(48)
	Roger Goodell says NFL owners should vote to extend regular season, shorten preseason	(51)
	In with a roar and out with a whimper: George Steinbrenner now wheelchair-bound	(36)
	Kobe's Maid: I would rather stick my hand in a bag of dog shiat than work for you. Oh wait you maid me do that already	(47)
	The PGA is considering microphones for caddies to broadcast their conversations on the air. What could go wrong?	(23)
	Ex-Patriots safety Rodney Harrison frowns on the NFL's shenanigans, says what we've all been thinking	(86)
	These are the Favres of our life	(39)
	Kansas City Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez still wants to get off the Titanic	(34)
	Terrell Owens skips Buffalo Bills' voluntary workouts to receive award from group that have clearly forgotten how he treated his previous teams	(36)
	Former Detroit Lions bust Charles Rogers' next uniform will be a bright orange jumpsuit with a number on the front	(42)
(Some Guy)	Soccer coach humiliates out of form players by forcing them to wear dresses. Players furious, say it's not fair if they're not at least provided with matching handbags	(21)
	Bulls to face Jazz in NBA preseason game in London, continuing the trend of taking our sports to where people can afford tickets	(24)
	The Pittsburgh Pirates say they are confident that they will snap their streak of 17 consecutive losing seasons this year. Or next. Or maybe the year after that. Or the year after that one. Or	(44)
	Cleveland Browns WR Donte Stallworth says he flashed his car's headlights at pedestrian who wasn't in the crosswalk before proceeding to run him over	(47)
	The future of soccer is here. All we need now are rocket-packs, mines and bazookas and we have a game	(37)
	Pittsburgh Pirates prospect Jose Tabata, 20, married to cradle-robbing woman, 43. You'll never guess what she's being investigated for	(28)

Tue March 24, 2009

	In an attempt to gain American acceptance, soccer fights are allowed to continue. The players aren't quite ready yet	(53)
(Brandonsun.com)	George Kell, baseball Hall of Famer and for Detroit Tigers broadcaster, is going, going, gone	(38)
	The NFL takes a few more steps towards becoming the National Flag-Football Association	(70)
	Southern Miss basketball coach Larry Eustachy turns down $25K attendance bonus in his contract, on grounds that team finished just 15-17. Come on, coach, that buys a lot of Natty Light	(9)
(Some Guy)	Joe Namath now has competition in the sideline reporter kissing game (with video)	(14)
	Marlins to be renamed Miami Marlins, swept by Cubs in 2015 World Series	(53)
	Its official. LeBron is better than Jordan, and way better than Kobe. Just way, way better	(104)
	This summer, Chelsea, AC Milan, Inter Milan and Club America will compete in the inaugural World Football Challenge being held in the US	(86)
(Some Guy)	With the NCAA Tournament in full swing, here comes another blogger talking about how March Madness boosts workplace productivity. Wait, what?	(8)
	Q: What do you call an 8-year-old boy with no hands or feet? A: Dwyane Wade's biggest fan	(31)
	Astana manager says Lance Armstrong will recover from broken collarbone in time to compete in Tour de France. We told you he was hardcore	(27)
	The best 75 foot buzzer beater you'll see this week	(41)
	Now that most of the sand has been cleared from their nether regions, Broncos can get on with playing football; with Jay Cutler as their QB. Suck it Raiders	(49)
	Bankrupt NHL team offers free ticket if you buy bottle of booze. If you don't buy anything? Two free tickets	(101)
	Loaded with draft picks, the Philadelphia Eagles will try to trade for Anquan Boldin, Braylon Edwards, or a higher draft position	(72)
	Toronto football fans polled on whether they would like to see Buffalo Bills relocate there permanently, despite the fact they play some weird Pop Warner brand of football with four downs and series and a tiny little field	(41)
	Japan wins second straight World Baseball Classic. Well, baseball is one thing, good thing we didn't teach them how to make cars too	(101)
	Boom goes the dynamite...Golf gets interesting	(16)
	As if Yankees fans aren't obnoxious enough, this season's stadium menu includes Garlic Fries	(58)

Mon March 23, 2009

	How Manchester United is turning into the Toronto Maple Leafs of the professional grass-diving circuit	(61)
	Dallas Stars' center Brad Richards returns after missing 15 games with a broken wrist, promptly breaks his other wrist in his first game back. Weird and Unlikely tag face-off, Unlikely wins in a clean draw	(31)
	Lance Armstrong has fallen during a race and is in a Spanish hospital, worrying America's bike racing fan	(60)
	Brazilian soccer legend Pele accidentally reveals, on live television, which top players have "drug problems" (ads on site may be NSFW)	(21)
	Detroit Lions will draft an offensive tackle number one in an effort to prevent their QB from becoming road kill long enough to give the defense a rest	(55)
	Having pink ice for a hockey game sounded like a good idea at the time	(36)
	Drinking. It does a body good	(38)
	Big East lives up to the hype, putting record five teams through to Sweet 16. Duke sucks	(82)
	23 seasons, three World Series rings, one bloody sock, and many unsolicited opinions later, Curt Schilling retires from baseball	(223)
	"Never before in the history of the NCAA Tournament have people been so angry about a coach putting in a lesser free-throw shooter"	(43)
	New York Yankees tell fans to sod off, supposedly in a good way	(8)
	Liverpool signee "the big Mo" making a big impact on their title hunt	(29)
	New York Jets openly announce desire to obtain prima donna QB after team shot itself in the foot in their relationship with that QB. No, this isn't a repeat from 2008	(109)
	Tennessee women lose in the first round of the NCAA Tournament for the first time ever. Duke sucks	(37)
	Only two teams seeded lower than four made the sweet sixteen in this year's March Well Adjustedness tournament	(59)
(PFW)	NFL considers removing any annoying tiny bits of excitement during the long dull time from February to preseason	(29)