If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
GoogleWeb Fark
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.

(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun January 25, 2009
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine Introducing the newest form of no-rules, human cockfighting: "Felony Fights" (Think Bum Fights, but with violent criminals and bikini-clad hostesses.) (40)
(The Morning Call) Asinine Public school uses $135,536 in taxpayer dollars to teach 17 kids to figure skate (71)
(BBC) Obvious 15 Nigerian soccer players die in bus crash, leaving behind fortune of $400 million that can only be transferred out of the country with your help, please be upon you (27)
(NYPost) Amusing Former Yankee skipper Joe Torre rips the Yankees in a new tell all book. Teammates mock A-Rod's single white female obsession of Jeter (66)
(Boston Globe) Cool High-school hockey goalie and graphic design geek invents camouflage leg pads that look like netting (47)
(Some Guy) Interesting Meet Jeff Miller, the NFL's new director of strategic security. If you want to tempt fate by wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey in Baltimore when they play the Ravens he'll make sure you don't get your ass kicked (36)
(CBC) Obvious NHL admits that fighting sells tickets, and have no plans to abolish 'fisticuffs' - which is apparently what body-checking, teeth-flying, bone-crushing, brutal smackdowns are called now. Tut tut (176)
(Toronto Star) Cool "On its most basic level, table hockey is, like its simpler-to-play cousin, air hockey, a kid's toy with barroom appeal. But to its fanatical devotees, it's an altar of perfectionist gaming they return to any chance they get" (10)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool Meet Molly Sullivan, the Erin Andrews of the Mtn. Network ... oh, and a finalist for Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster (with pics) (50)
(ESPN) Interesting Notre Dame defends the nation's longest home winning streak of 45 games against UConn, steal a page from Duke's playbook and suck (15)
(ESPN) Interesting Antonio Margarito gets caught trying to turn his hands to stone against Shane Mosley, instead winds up turning his body into a speed-bag (23)

Sat January 24, 2009
(ESPN) Stupid NCAA considers adding beach volleyball as college sport, with athletes required to wear uniforms instead of bikinis (65)
(ESPN) Sad Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller has both legs amputated 6" below the knee due to complications from Type 2 diabetes (51)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Not your average woman: Physics student, jet fighter pilot, downhill ski star (27)
(Some Guy) Cool Division-III hockey goalie sets a new record with 95 saves on 99 shots. Somehow his team only loses 4-0 despite the 88 shot differential (25)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious French-Canadian separatists whine that naming a downhill skiing event "Crashed Ice" is akin to "spitting" on the French in North America, ignoring the fact that it is something we'd all like to do (41)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Pope suspended for two years. Cue the black smoke (4)
(CBS New York) Sad In the biggest sports collapse since the Mets season ended, many injured or killed after high winds cause sports center in Spain to collapse (10)
(ESPN) Spiffy Levi LaValle's doubleback flip on a snowmobile at the X games (18)
(Boston Globe) Obvious NHL Players Association votes to keep current Collective Bargaining Agreement, in the hopes that the Islanders might sign one of them to a 45-year guaranteed contract (14)
(AP) Sad Hall of Famer and North Carolina State women's basketball coach Kay Yow dies from cancer at age 66. Won more than 700 games and coached the Olympic team to the gold medal in 1988. Godspeed ma'am (28)
(AJC) Florida Georgia congressman refuses to honor University of Florida's national football championship because he's a Bulldog fan. "Why endanger a longstanding, traditional rivalry in one weak moment of love and kisses?" (26)
(Yahoo) Cool Cavs win on LeBron's buzzer beater. Submitter, like Cavs without LeBron, has nothing to add (26)
(TampaBays10.com) Asinine NFL to handicapped guy in wheelchair with Super Bowl ticket: Not yours (56)
(SeattlePI) Misc Edge goes from bench to Super Bowl in "weird year." Very weird, considering he just finished recording the new U2 album on top of it all (23)
(ESPN) Misc Dan Reeves to discuss offensive coordinator role with 49ers, hopes he won't have to drop trou in front of Singletary (23)

Fri January 23, 2009
(Yahoo) Obvious The Kansas City Chiefs have fired head coach Herman Edwards. Herm has reportedly changed his expression from mild surprise to well.. mild surprise (55)
(ESPN) Interesting Mike Singletary reveals plans going forward for the 49ers: build team that's really good, but can't win when it matters (8)
(MSNBC) Cool The world's most valuable sports franchise is Manchester United. Suck it, Cowboys (55)
(Deadspin) Amusing Did John Rocker call Atlanta radio host a motherf***ing c**ksucker? -- "Yeah, I definitely did. I like saying that. I say that a lot." (38)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Joe Buck's restaurants fail in his hometown of St. Louis - which is a little like Al Gore losing the presidential election by not carrying Tennessee (37)
(WBBM) Asinine Chicago Public Schools, in a effort to stop the violence at basketaball games, is not allowing the visiting team's fans into the games. And if that doesn't work, NO fans will be allowed to watch the games. Rah- Rah (34)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Jermaine Pennant never got a chance at Liverpool because his coach preferred foreigners. He'll be right at home now at Pompey playing alongside Diop, Kranjcar,Bellhaj, Distin, Hreidarsson, and Traore (12)
(TSN) Asinine Skip the NHL all-star game? That's a suspendin' (77)
(ESPN) Dumbass Detroit Lions call Linehanigans, hire former Rams coach Scott Linehan as offensive coordinator. Because, you know, when you think offense, the 2-14 St. Louis Rams jump to mind (42)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Followup Christian girls basketball team that crushed learning disabled team 100-0 realizes full court press in the fourth quarter may not have been what Jesus would do (77)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Soccer player has sex with Playboy model wife in the middle of his team's playing field (with fab photos of the little missus) (57)
(BBC) Stupid Old and busted: Soccer hooligans. New hotness: Tennis hooligans. I once went to a fight and a game of tennis broke out (21)
(Salon) Stupid Just when you thought the Sunday Night Baseball team of Miller and Morgan couldn't get any worse, ESPN goes for the hideous announcer trifecta by adding Steve Phillips (52)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Matt Cassell seems quite content to become the richest clipboard carrier ever (73)
(Globe and Mail) Cool "The Canadiens are a professional sports institution. Travel anywhere in the world and you'll find someone wearing the red, white and blue of Les Habs" (63)
(Reuters) Silly Streaker during Williams sisters' tennis match causes quite a racquet (11)
(Daily Star) Obvious English football team accused of ripping off fans by hiking price of new jerseys to £50. Football executives explain anyone stupid enough to cheer for England is probably stupid enough to pay it (12)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting Get ready for overbearing, obnoxious, towel-waving Steelers fans: Madden game simulation picks Pittsburgh over Arizona, 28-24 for Super Bowl 43 (105)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Former Olympic sprinter Marion Jones -- who denied taking performance-enhancing drugs, then admitted it, got stripped of her medals, and spent time in jail for lying about it -- now claims she never "knowingly" took them (12)
(CNN) Unlikely Peyton Manning should be carrying Kurt Warner's jock. Here comes the science (119)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Soccer team: "Let's have a minute of silence for our deceased former player." Former player: "But I'm not dead yet." (17)
(CNN) Cool Ricketts picked to buy Cubs. Narrowly beats out Measles, Mumps and Mark Cuban  T-Shirt (29)
(ESPN) Sad Oldest living former MLB player dies. Julio Franco ecstatic about his new position (15)
(CNN) Stupid Stop me if you've heard this one. A New York Giants wide receiver suffered a gunshot wound (35)
(ESPN) Misc Mourning calls it a day (21)
(ESPN) Sad Sports Guy's dog succumbs to lymphoma. Submitter succumbs to something in his eye (82)
(CNN) Obvious Grizzlies fire head coach Marc Iavaroni after division worst 11-30 start. That's 1.83 wins per vowel (13)

Thu January 22, 2009
(NHL) Hero Pittsburgh Penguins grant a wish and replace Matt Cooke on the first line with a 8 year old (55)
(ESPN) Spiffy Prince Fielder gets 2 year deal from Brewers worth 18 million cheeseburgers (20)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool Derek Jeter builds 31,000 square foot home in Tampa. Obviously he hasn't learned anything from the Yankees, since he's paying for it all by himself - in cash (33)
(ESPN) Interesting Five reasons why Michael Vick deserves a second chance in the NFL. Also, submitter agrees with Jemele Hill, which means the next star running back will be a flying pig (169)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Obvious Dear fans: Don't get your hopes up, we're going to suck next season. Again. Love, The Cincinnati Reds (PS - buy a hot dog) (30)
(TSN) Interesting Kovalev, Thornton named captains for the All-Star game. Hockey fans from around the word yawn with excitement (59)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Boston Bruins goalie/linebacker Tim Thomas (poorly) tackles opposing player. The Detroit Lions contemplated taking him with the #1 pick, but decided against it, upon learning he's not a WR (52)
(FanNation) Asinine Taking a page from SEC football, ACC proves it is the best basketball conference by losing to itself (54)
(NYPost) Obvious Asked about Brett Favre's future with the Jets, new coach Rex Ryan points and yells, "look over there" before sprinting out of the news conference (42)
(TSN) Fail NHL's Nashville Predators may be forced into buying their own tickets in order to qualify for the league's revenue sharing program (65)
(Brandfreak) Hero LeBron officially proves just how awesome Bo Jackson was (68)
(Some Guy) Interesting Teen banned from high school sports after he sleeps in and misses track meet. Teen whines, but school official won't back down and says crazy stuff like "you're responsible for your actions" (98)
(WCBS 880) Cool After nearly two years, the New Jersey Institute of Technology has finally won a basketball game. "Gimme an N... Gimme an E.... Gimme a W... (deep breath) Gimme..." (25)
(Dallas News) Fail After only four seasons of never winning a game, high school girl's basketball team loses 100-0, cancels rest of season. Finally (86)

Wed January 21, 2009
(ESPN) Misc Crosby expects to play in NHL All-Star game. Stills, Nash, Young didn't make it far enough in he voting (31)
(LA Times) Asinine The referee who potentially altered the outcome of the Ravens-Tians game by a non-delay of game call is A) being suspended by the NFL, B) being fined and forced to apologize or C) getting the chance to ref the Super Bowl (81)
(Sports by Brooks) Fail In the market for a Kentucky football-themed $100,000 truck? Introducing the Rich Brooks signature edition Ford F-150. Options include 20-year lease on Motor City Bowl parking space (23)
(Washington Post) Unlikely Struggling NFL teams should follow the blueprint of the Ravens, Falcons and Dolphins. So, draft two quarterbacks in the first round and play 12 teams with a losing record (26)
(TSN) Sad Legendary NHL coach Pat Burns scores cancer hat trick (17)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting L.A. Daily News now not staffing Los Angeles Clippers home games. Mark Cuban's idea to have teams employ newspaper beat writers looking more prophetic by the day (5)
(LA Times) Interesting Jeff Kent, baseball's all-time leading homerun hitter among second basemen, announces he will retire, play QB for the Jets (45)
(Yahoo) Stupid NHL considers making nets so wide, even the Islanders can score (54)
(Spike) Amusing "Dear Lord, what's up man? You have a good New Years? Give me the strength to throw a kick ass super bowl party." (7)
(Telegraph) Amusing "A football match between Hatfield Town and Hertford Heath fell into chaos when a parrot that a woman in the crowd had brought along imitated the referee's whistle" (10)
(Reuters) Sad Scalpers are only getting $3100 for Super Bowl tickets due to the struggling economy. Sad tag learning how to play a tiny violin (43)
(Sign On San Diego) Interesting San Diego suing the Chargers, presumably for trading away both Offensive Player of the Year QB Drew Brees and Super Bowl MVP QB Eli Manning (64)
(ESPN) Obvious Troy Aikman to Tony Romo: Stop slumming around with talentless blonde whores (94)
(Free Press) Followup Remember the poor little kid that got his stick stolen by some douchebag? Yeah, turns out he's a douchebag too (29)
(YouTube) Video Want to get some calls your way? Show the net judge a little love (18)
(Deadspin) Interesting In a book pitch, Mark McGwire's bodybuilder brother claims he was the one who supplied former St. Louis Cardinal with steroids and now wants his brother to "live in truth" (34)
(AJC) Dumbass Lawyer sues Pacman Jones for non-payment of fees, eating all his power pills (26)
(Sun Sentinel) Cool With all due respect to the tag teams, managers, women and midgets, here is one attempt at listing the Top 10 Pro Wrestlers of All Time (179)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Falling flat on your ass is a common hazard of being a professional snowboarder, but you usually expect them to actually make it out of the starting gate. w/pics (14)
(Philly) Spiffy Phillies slugger Ryan Howard asks for $18 million, the third-highest request in arbitration's 35-year history. Phils management choke on their cheesesteaks (66)
(CBS Sports) Fail Detroit Lions continue their long history of smart personnel moves by hiring Gunther Cunningham, architect of the Chiefs defense that had a record low 10 sacks this year. Strike shortened years included (44)
(London Times) Cool Manchester United can take the FAIL off their jerseys, but not the suck (134)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Cool Steelers give AFC Championship game ball to President Obama. John McCain heard mumbling about how he once recited names of the Arizona Cardinals offensive linemen to his Viet Cong captors (70)
(News.com.au) Scary Australian footballer hospitalized after getting stung by stingray. Crikey (8)
(Metro) Cool Hot Russian figure skater suffers wardrobe malfunction during performance (w/Not safe for work pic) (125)

Tue January 20, 2009
(AZCentral) PSA If you are going to burn messages into a star NFL QB's lawn before the NFC Championship game, be sure not to leave a box with your name and address at the scene of the crime (35)
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid After cutting 1,850 jobs, Clear Channel then merges national sports radio network with L.A. sports station. Yeah, I'm sure that'll go over well with the Boston affiliate (40)
(AZCentral) Sad The mascot for the Arizona Diamondbacks busted for having a blood-alcohol level of 0.155 and smoking marijuana, all while driving with his costume in the back of his car (20)
(Deadspin) Unlikely Mayor of Chicago says the city deserves a second pro football team. Which makes the shaky assumption the city already has a pro football team (86)
(FanNation) Dumbass He may be banging Jessica Simpson. He may change flat tires. He may bring homeless people to the movies. What does Tony Romo not do? Practice (94)
(NHL) Obvious Peter Forsberg offically has more comebacks than Flyers have star players (40)
(FanNation) Stupid A new member of the Knicks from Italy is a bit peeved that the team's PA announcer says his name in a fake Italian accent and plays songs like "That's Amore" and "Volare" when he scores (60)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Cowboys interested in Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis. Not for his declining skills, but for his willingness to beat the crap out of Terrell Owens when he whines (80)
(Some Guy) Obvious New Zealand professor discovers that alcohol affects sports performance. The Irish Athletic Committee suggest research is 200 years too late (7)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting On the day President Barack Obama takes office, we recognize the first sports game character to break the color barrier: a pixelated baller in Atari's 1979 "Basketball" game (26)
(Chicago Tribune) Spiffy Chicago Blackhawks hockey fan wins $1 million during Monday night's 4-1 loss. In other improbable news, the Blackhawks scored a goal (28)
(YouTube) Amusing The forgotten Sports Broadcaster of the Year candidate (not safe for work language) (18)
(CBC) Cool Lemieux returns to the NHL after a 5 1/2 year absence. No, not that one, the other one (44)
(News.com.au) Amusing Tennis Australia receives complaints about including a sleazy burlesque show featuring obscenity and simulated masturbation as part of Australian Open festivities. Ticket sales expected to double for tonight's show (5)
(Yahoo) Amusing Clippers sign God, still can't cover spread (26)

Mon January 19, 2009
(Guardian.com) Silly Brits confused that their own leaders are using USA's "step up to the plate" in preference to proper English sport-based cliches like "sticky wicket" or "first elevens" (41)
(Sports by Brooks) Fail Just in time for economic downturn and ESPN abandoning MLS game of the week coverage, Philadelphia-area community set to build publicly-funded $115M stadium for MLS team (35)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Marlins consider bringing in Andruw Jones at minimum salary once they are assured his per-diem meal money won't bust their budget (6)
(YouTube) Video Texas comforts Oklahoma over its BCS title loss. Too Sooner? (69)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass Lingerie Bowl player now balking at playing game at nudist resort because of "negative stereotype" of venue. Same player posed nude for Playboy (with pics) (23)
(MSNBC) Stupid Anquan Boldin not happy about his limited role in NFC Championship victory, apparently unaware that it takes a team to win a title (81)
(Canoe) Unlikely Toronto Maple Leafs coach pushing for face shields for all players on his team. Leafs fans excited to have another excuse for why their team sucks (29)
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing Champion archer gives credit to video games. If this is true, the U.S is sure to lead way in plastic guitar playing, zombie shooting and car-jacking (16)
(Some aquigley) Followup In case you wondered how you did, the final standings from yesterday's Sports Tab Spectacularrrrrr. LGT site with final Excel sheet (55)
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing Writer to Nike: Stop telling LeBron to throw chalk, you're killing my laptop (96)
(ESPN) Interesting After Jets season landed in the Hudson, team hires Rex Ryan to be new pilot (85)
(JSOnline) Spiffy Dom Capers agrees to become the defensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers, because we all know what happened the last time he was on a team with a Tedford quarterback (23)
(Some Guy) Obvious Playing Rob Thomas over the PA system was not a smooth idea during the Willis McGahee injury time out (208)
(Yahoo) Cool Milan Hejduk and Ryan Smyth of the Colorado Avalanche both score the 300th goals of their careers back-to-back in the same period (15)

Fark Sports Forum


Sports Farkives:    Complete archives