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Sun December 21, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Fail Jerry Jones confirms he handpicked the Ravens before season for Cowboys' last home game at Texas Stadium because it "looked like a winnable game." Final Score: Ravens 33, Cowboys 24 (10)
(ESPN) Interesting Angels pull out of Teixeira sweepstakes, Scott Boras on suicide watch (25)
(ESPN) Spiffy Jamal Lewis becomes 24th NFL RB to eclipse the 10,000 Yd mark. Also joins shorter list of felons to have accomplished that mark (15)
(CBC) Sad Detroit Lions fall to 0-15, are mathematically eliminated from 2009 NFL season (62)
(ESPN) Asinine The new ESPN.com. Seems oddly familiar (34)
(Max Mosley's Dominatrix) Obvious Ever thought that F1 was gobbling Ferrari's knob for years? It wasn't your imagination (18)
(ESPN) Cool Week 16 NFL discussion thread. Top two teams from each conference go into battle for the #1 seed with only one week remaining. ♫ Are you ready for some footbaaaaaall? ♫ (2468)
(YouTube) Spiffy On Joe Paterno's birthday check out: 'What's older than Joe Paterno?' (13)
(London Times) Spiffy Chris Hoy, triple Olympic gold medal winner, to be knighted. Although all that armor will probably slow him down in future races (2)
(CNN) Followup 7-foot Russian heavyweight Nikolai Valuev defeats the doddering former champ Evander Holyfield and then walks all over his lawn, in spite of all the yelling (35)
(ESPN) Fail Jim Zorn's status as Redskins head coach remains uncertain, almost as uncertain as to how he lost to the Bengals (21)
(Some Bunny) Sad Farewall Texas Stadium (71)
(ESPN) Followup Iowa State hires Auburn defensive coordinator as head coach. No, not that one, the other one (12)

Sat December 20, 2008
(CNN) Obvious "I used to think tailgating was team spirit, but now I think it's an excuse to get bombed on a Sunday" (22)
(NBC San Diego) Sad Padres finally find an outfielder who can hit (28)
(MSNBC) Dumbass 46 year old Evander Holyfield wants to be the oldest person to win the heavyweight title. Unfortunately, he's more likely to be eating a Valuev meal with a straw (25)
(Canada.com) Dumbass Canadian sportswriter blasts NBA as ghetto gutter run by money grubbers -- "America at its worst" (107)
(Yahoo) Obvious can the 'zags Defeat Uconn? is oKlahoma ovErrated? can SyracUse reCover? it's your saturday basKetball diScussion (40)
(Deadspin) Obvious You know how I know you're gay? You're Skip Bayless and you're ranking the NFL's best-looking quarterbacks (44)
(Some Guy) Obvious Media finally notices that female sportscasters are hired more for how they look rather than their ability to to the job. Well stop the freakin' presses (38)
(CBS Sports) Followup Andy Kennedy sues cab driver for being punched by Andy Kennedy (3)
(IndyStar) Sad Video of Indianapolis' RCA Dome implosion this morning. Suck it, Patriots fans (80)
(Some Buccos Fan) Sad Dock Ellis, who pitched a no-hitter while high on LSD, takes the ultimate bad trip (34)
(Yahoo) Amusing NFL stadiums invite fans to send text messages about drunk & disorderly folks. Bonus picture of Broncos fan looking like a complete ass (46)
(Yahoo) Amusing Upon learning that Rafael Furcal will not play with on his team at lunchtime, Atlanta Braves president calls Furcal and his friends stupidheads and states he didn't want to play with them anyways (18)
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine Former Bears starting QB intercepted four different times for DUI since 2002, but Chicago-area judges allow him to keep his final drive alive, dropping all but one charge (30)
(ESPN) Spiffy University of Richmond wins first National Championship (30)

Fri December 19, 2008
(Yahoo) Hero British yachtswoman abandons round-the-world race to help seriously injured French competitor (19)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing In fit of jealousy, David Beckham's wife blocks one-on-one interview between footballer and stunning, leggy Italian sports presenter at Beckham's AC Milan introductory press conference (with pics, video) (37)
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid First the Las Vegas Bowl books The Hoff, and now the Sun Bowl has the Village People as halftime entertainment. Captain & Tennille at Meineke Car Care Bowl to soon complete trifecta? (13)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Reason #137 not to have a Facebook account (31)
(Yahoo) Amusing Santa has presents for each NHL team (60)
(Sports by Brooks) Sad After coming to realization he had no shot to play in NFL, former Iowa State running back jumps to his death (65)
(FanNation) Obvious Longhorn WR Jordan Shipley applies for 6th year of eligibility, social security benefits (15)
(Boston Herald) Stupid Mark Teixeira turns down an 'insulting' offer, $184,000,000. For an eight-year contract. To play the game of baseball (239)
(YouTube) Video The coolest bowling shot you'll see today (44)
(Telegraph) Cool Arsenal draw Roma, Chelsea get Juve, Real get Liverpool, Lyon will be destroyed by Barcelona and Inter host Man U. It's not news, it's not even sports, it's your Champions League Draw discussion forum (23)
(Yahoo) Cool Kansas City Chiefs QB Tyler Thigpen wins Yahoo Sports first WTF Award (42)
(ESPN) Interesting Shaq about to Briq his 5,000th freethrow. Here comes the science (29)
(Yahoo) Sad *flap-flap-flap-flap*-*THUNK* (34)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool Dara Torres splahes around idea of swimming in the 2012 London Olympics. She's hip, she's cool, she'll be 45 (30)
(Yahoo) Cool Georgia Tech extends Johnson  T-Shirt (21)
(London Times) Scary Why Manchester City is about to eclipse the Toronto Maple Leafs as the most overpaid and awful pro sports team on the planet (34)

Thu December 18, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Only thing more unlikely than Auburn hiring Gene Chizik? Phil Fulmer now reportedly being "interested" in Iowa State job (27)
(Yahoo) Scary Want to go to the Orange Bowl? You'll probably end up paying more for parking than your tickets (35)
(ESPN) Fail Having 29 NHL teams available as options, Mats Sundin chooses Canada's other big city that never wins the Stanley Cup (65)
(AJC) Obvious Newspaper comes to stunning revelation that good teams beat the Atlanta Thrashers while bad teams don't. Professor Obvious concurs (15)
(ESPN) Cool Celtics barely escape Hawks. Not a repeat from 450 BC (31)
(ESPN) Sad Elton Brand dislocates shoulder after grudge-holding agent dislocates Elton Brand (9)
(Houston Chronicle) Sad Former Astros reliever Dave Smith dead of a heart attack at age 53. Dead professional sports player trifecta now in play (16)
(FanNation) Obvious Braylon Edwards may drop the Browns like the passes thrown to him on Sundays (61)
(LA Times) Obvious Teams feel that the Dodgers' asking price for Andruw Jones, a sharp stick and 3 large pepperoni pizzas, to be too high. Dodgers willing to negotiate the number of pizzas but not the stick (22)
(USA Today) Interesting Illini linebacker stabbed twice at Champaign bar. Should have stuck with beer (31)
(CNN) Spiffy Triple grand slam winner Lindsay Davenport has pulled out of the Australian Open because former All-American tennis player Jon Leach did not (19)
(Some Guy) Amusing Apparently pants are optional at ESPN (pic) (29)
(Yahoo) Spiffy New Orleans Hornets guard Chris Paul sets NBA record for consecutive games with a steal (30)
(CNN) Cool Sports Illustrated's best 56 sports photos of the year. Numbers 3, 11, and 29 are submitter's favorites (85)
(ESPN) Obvious Showing some team loyalty, Carlos Boozer to remain in Utah. Just kidding he plans on testing free agency (31)
(Yahoo) Followup Pacman Jones, whose season was supposedly ended by a neck injury, will be playing this weekend. In related news, Sammy Baugh will rise from the grave, start for the Redskins (22)
(ESPN) Interesting Brett Favre questions his own ability: "Maybe I don't have the arm I once had." John Madden immediately placed on suicide watch (47)
(ESPN) Amusing After weeks of frustration with luring free agents, the Braves finally sign a big name. Just kidding, Rafael Furcal changes his mind at the last second to stay with the Dodgers (34)
(AP) Sad Legendary Redskins QB Sammy Baugh goes to the Hall Of Fame in the sky (48)
(AP) Spiffy Tiger Woods says rebuilt leg will be better, stronger, faster, begins running in slow motion and making "da na na na na na" noises when he putts (41)
(CBS 2 Lost Angeles) Sad MMA Fighter Justin Levens, wife dead in possible murder suicide (53)

Wed December 17, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Cool Meet Formula Two's answer to Danica Patrick, but with better front suspension (and with pictorial goodness) (74)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Misc Big ESPN redesign to launch January 5. You'll get over it (36)
(CNN) Stupid The Eagles go on a 3 game winning streak, and drop two spots. The Cowboys barely squeak a win past the gunshot-depleted Giants and move up 9 places. That kind of insanity could only come from SI.com's Don Banks' Power Rankings (49)
(ESPN) Sad "I'm the Susan Lucci of the NFL" Wah Wah Wa... Oh wait he might actually be right (43)
(AOL) Fail Planning on giving tickets to the Humanitarian Bowl as a Xmas present? Better hurry, "As of Monday afternoon Maryland says it's sold about 16 tickets to the game. Nevada says it's sold 8 so far." (103)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool David Hasselhoff to sing national anthem at Las Vegas Bowl (36)
(New York Daily News) Unlikely New York Giants RB Brandon Jacobs says he will play this Sunday against Carolina. He also says he was ready to play last Sunday, but head coach Tom Coughlin forced him to rest (53)
(Boston Herald) Asinine The bidding in the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes has reached 10 years, 100 billion dollars (26)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Yankees are going after Manny Ramirez, hard. That's what Sheets said (82)
(Some Guy) Fail It was a year for Olympic heroes, but there are always losers. The top 10 sporting disappointments of 2008 (52)
(Detroit News) Unlikely Fired Michigan defensive coordinator says "I take full responsibility for the demise of the Michigan program." Apparently somehow he made the offense suck (58)
(Yahoo) Interesting New Orleans Saints owner recovering from cancer surgery. Dallas Cowboys still battling through team cancer (32)
(YouTube) Spiffy Leafs' Jason Blake with a highlight-reel shootout-winning goal. Yes, the Leafs actually won a shootout. Stop laughing. Stop it (33)
(Dallas News) Interesting The Dallas Mavericks' latest unlikely star, JJ Barea, overcame all odds to make it to the NBA. Just kidding, his parents are rich athletes. Minor sympathy for being born with pneumonia, though (11)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Etiquette of NHL fighting (75)
(BBC) Misc West Ham closer to possible sale. Mmmmmm ham (40)
(Now Magazine) Amusing David Beckham's teammate at AC Milan wants to know if Becks' package is as big as on the Armani billboards, helping dispel the notion that soccer is not a gay game played by big Nancy boys who enjoy grabbing each others' tackle (26)
(FanNation) Stupid Biggest blown calls of 2008. Yes, the World Series play is on there, but it didn't make the top of the list (50)
(Sporting News) Fail Top 10 pro-bowl snubs for 2008. Yes, the league's top-rated passer is one of them. Fail tag is for the NFL (118)
(Yahoo) Cool NHL Power Rankings: Sharks fans look smug, Islanders fan talked down from roof (138)
(NBC Washington) Sad Hey hey hey, it's Miiiiike Tyson (pic) (54)

Tue December 16, 2008
(some Yat) Obvious Only the New Orleans Saints can save the Detroit Lions from becoming the first 0-15 NFL team. Somehow, I think the Saints are up to it (42)
(scout.com) Obvious Joe Paterno to sign for 3 more years, increase odds of dying during a game (26)
(Yahoo) Amusing "Tastes great." "Less filling." "Tastes great." "Less filling." "Go Hoosiers." "I'm sorry, what was that last one?" (26)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Allegations of match-fixing threaten to drive fans away from professional snooker. In related news, professional snooker has fans (11)
(ESPN) Dumbass Even with Sean Avery gone, Dallas Stars still blaming their problems on him (20)
(Baltimore Sun) Stupid Michael Phelps wants to follow in the footsteps of Madden and Woods with his own video game. Nice, a swimming video game. That should be exciting (55)
(USA Today) Obvious If all you watch NASCAR for is the crashes, well, 2008 sucked more than everyone else said it did (16)
(Yahoo) Interesting Peyton and Eli Manning become first QB brothers selected to Pro Bowl. Also, the game will feature a pair of New York Giants with a combined age of 86 (53)
(Kansas City) Sad "Oh snap" says Demarco Murray's hamstring, as it and Murray himself are out of the BCS title game (45)
(ESPN) Amusing When an article has the line, "Relatively speaking, the Eagles are the sanest team in the division," you know the NFC East has become a huge clusterfark (15)
(ESPN) Interesting Some NFL power rankings to argue over. And you will argue, once you see the top five (112)
(Some Laughing Irish Guy) Amusing "FIFA's rulers are set to formally approve a Great Britain football team for the London 2012 Olympics later this week despite opposition from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland" (32)
(WTMJ) Cool News: Bowling a 300 game. Awesome: By two brothers in the same game (35)
(Guardian.com) Dumbass What does it take for a Man U player to get suspended? If you had "pick a fight with a groundskeeper after the match" please step up and collect your winnings (14)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Silly This week, on "All My Cowboys": Romo and Witten don't attend Terrell Owens' birthday party. Next week: Romo reveals he's actually an evil twin who boned T.O.'s mom (95)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Despite their differences, former Chief and current Vikings star Jared Allen paid solemn tribute to Carl Peterson upon the GM's departure from KC. Just kidding, Allen laughed and yelled "later" when he heard the news (with audio) (10)
(Yahoo) Interesting Bad: Heading to overtime against a non-ranked opponent. Worse: Losing on a last-second shot. Fark: It was a 60-footer (52)
(Yahoo) Obvious The New York Islanders are pointless in December, although the same could be said for them during any other month  T-Shirt (27)
(Metro) Obvious Arsenal players dress up in drag, but it's OK because it's all for charity (8)
(Philly) Interesting Yes, 40 years ago this week Eagles fans booed Santa. But they had a good reason--he sucked: "If it had been a bad Baby Jesus...we would've booed him, too" (26)
(NJ.com) Asinine Andy Pettitte's people say that a "mystery team" interested in signing him to a 3-year deal. And by mystery team, they mean the Tigers (24)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Strange Baltimore Ravens cornerback Frank Walker accused of swapping spit with Pittsburgh Steelers punter Mitch Berger, but kicker Jeff Reed was penalized for turning it into a menage-a-trois (49)
(Examiner) Unlikely Why the Yankees are having trouble signing free agents. What, you hadn't noticed? (64)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida You know you're going to a crappy bowl game when the local paper wonders if punts will richochet off the roof (20)
(Google) Misc Sacramento Kings fire coach Reggie Theus after he goes 6-12--which is almost an improvement over his record last year (21)

Mon December 15, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid Two international soccer players, apparently inspired by David Beckham, really, REALLY want underwear endorsement contracts (with pics, some Not safe for work, video) (8)
(TBO) Obvious Investigative reporters shocked to learn that basketball recruiting is shady business, rush to Romero-phone (10)
(Major League Baseball) Strange Phils re-sign Grampa Moyer for two more years (34)
(TBO) Interesting Bucs DE Greg White changes name to Stylez G. White. Other proposed names included Handsome B. Wonderful, Rembrandt Q. Einstein, Max Power, and Hercules Rockefeller (65)
(LAist) Fail LA Times NBA Columnist calls Dallas Maverick Jose Juan Barea a "Mexican Smurf." Barea is 5-11 and a native of Puerto Rico, making this comment from the LA Times 50% accurate (23)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Today's episode of "Not Bloody Likely, Old Chap" brought to you by 46 year old Evander Holyfield, who says he's ready to win the heavyweight title (15)
(Paper bag hat Guy) Spiffy Chiefs fans get 15-year overdue Christmas gift (66)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Kick a player deliberately away from the ball? Purposefully stomp on an opposing player out of frustration? No problem, free passes for ManU players and red cards for anyone else (22)
(Examiner) Fail Detroit paper commits huge mistake and mislabels NASCAR star's sponsor. Gasp (22)
(Philly) Strange Reigning World Series champion Phillies look toward another successful season by signing a veteran pitcher with a long and successful track record. Just kidding, it's Chan Ho Park, and they want him to be a starter (24)
(ESPN) Asinine Barry Bonds tells reporters he's "not retiring" from baseball, despite not receiving any contract offers. By those standards, Barry also "isn't retired" from the CIA, The Harlem Globetrotters, and NAMBLA (38)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Nittany Lion mascot named Sheep gets DUI. Might lose scholarship and go on the lamb. In other news, there is a scholarship for mascots (50 one-armed push-ups required) (63)
(ESPN) Obvious Charles Barkley says that Auburn hired Chizik over Gill for one reason, and it ain't Chizik's spectacular 5-19 career coaching record (90)
(TwinCities.com) Interesting Like having to pick either lima beans or brussels sprouts : Vikings have to choose whether to start Tarvaris Jackson or Gus Frerotte (24)
(Google) Obvious French set record in running away from men carrying metal objects (6)
(Simon on Sports) Interesting If the BCS was run like the NFL playoffs: Let's welcome our number one seeds, Boise State and Utah (67)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Philly Flyers crash frat party. It's safer than attending nightclubs full of armed NFLers (15)
(ESPN) Obvious Any time an article starts with the line "Let's start with the obvious: Terrell Owens is a fool," you know if's gonna be good (43)
(Chicago Tribune) Spiffy Bring your ice skates to Wrigley Field on Jan 4th and slip and fall like a real Cubs player (16)
(ESPN) Dumbass In a freak buffet accident Charlie Weis has injured is "healthy" knee and will need surgery on it. Still no cure for his ego or Notre Dame's lack of talent (16)
(Orlando Sentinel) Obvious Tim Tebow's hometown paper graciously accepts that Sam Bradford won the Heisman. Just kidding he whines that "Tebow was victimized by being Tebow - perhaps the most famous and highly publicized player in college football history" (59)
(ESPN) Sad No, you guys, seriously this time: No AFL in 2009 (29)
(Some Guy) Amusing Grady Sizemore's arm candy in Vegas: Playboy Playmate Brittany Binger (17)
(AL.com) Cool University of Alabama to name the visitor's locker room "The Fail Room" (119)
(Washington Post) Obvious Redskins coach Jim Zorn has gone from being a wunderkind genius to a bum who managed to lose to the Bengals. Hope he didn't get used to his office (38)
(Yahoo) Stupid You're up by three, there's two minutes to play, you're running the ball well, so all you need to do is have your turnover-prone backup QB keep handing the ball off to kill the clock. Unless, that is, you're the Buffalo Bills (56)
(CBC) Cool The Jamaican bobsled team returns to Canada twenty years after their first Olympics to train for a 0-peat in 2010 (18)
(Michigan) Sad Insult to injury: business offers $9 oil change if the Lions even manage to have the lead at any point in a game (13)
(AP) Amusing New York Giants eject fan dressed in sexy outfit; fan says the team is just shooting itself in the foot with poor customer relations (31)
(Some Guy) Video Was this really a touchdown? It depends on which rule applies. According to regulation 2.42.8B, which states that the Steelers always get the benefit of the doubt, it's definitely a touchdown (163)
(Some Cowboy) Amusing Behold the Power of Fark, let's Rickroll Texas Stadium. All your Cowboys belong to us (106)
(Wired) Interesting How much actual action takes place over the course of an NFL game? The answer may surprise you (107)
(NFL.com) Spiffy Jason Hanson sets NFL record for career 50+ FGs, so yeah... the Lions have that going for them (11)
(YouTube) Scary Before he became batshiat crazy, Mike Tyson could destroy you with one punch-and here's 10 scenes of him doing just that (124)

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