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Sun December 14, 2008
(CBS Sports) Obvious Up 11 wih 4:55 left in the game, most NFL teams would feel confident about getting a win. Most teams, however, aren't the Chiefs (42)
(Washington Post) Cool Maryland wins their second NCAA mens soccer championship in four years. In other news, colleges play soccer, apparently some time in the late fall (12)
(NYPost) Obvious Yankees to go after Mark Teixeira, Manny Ramirez, fark your mom, kill your dog, eat your dessert and steal your bike (62)
(ESPN) Dumbass Avery to become some other team's sloppy seconds (81)
(ESPN) Cool Week 15 NFL Discussion Thread. Will Atlanta bruise the Bucs and inch closer to a miracle playoff spot? Will Baltimore shut down Big Ben and the Steelers? Also, for soap opera fans tune in at 8:15EST for the entertaining Giants/Dallas game (2089)
(PFT) Obvious Underachieving Bush finding trouble in New Orleans. No, this is not a repeat from August 2005 (26)
(Some Guy) Interesting K-Rod: Mets are "the team to beat". And come September, everyone usually does (33)
(Some Guy) Cool Top Ten Moments at Texas Stadium. #7: "I've done wet my britches" (16)

Sat December 13, 2008
(ESPN) Scary Kyle Farnsworth signs $9.25 million, two-year contract with-- admit it-- you just said "please God don't let it be my team" (42)
(ESPN) Spiffy The Dallas Cowboys have come together and are focused on tomorrow's game against the Giants. Just kidding. T.O. and Jason Witten got into a fight in the locker room (75)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy Oklahoma's Sam Bradford becomes the second consecutive sophomore to win the Heisman trophy (242)
(Sporting News) Amusing Will Muschamp accepts offer to be the new head coach of Aub... Not so fast (32)
(Some Guy) Cool Pics of Dwyane Wade's Miami home. Bonus: Awesomely bizarre Spiderman bathroom (30)
(AP) Fail Long distance rower, after travelling 9500 nautical miles solo, gives up the journey just 65 miles short of his destination (43)
(ESPN) Obvious Cheeks deep-sixed (21)
(Yahoo) Hero Chicago Blackhawks decide to skip a flight and take two buses with no heat to visit thier GM after the passing of his father (29)
(KTNV-11) Amusing That didn't take long; Vegas hockey team to play in prison uniforms for "Rod Blagojevich Night" (14)
(Some Guy) Cool Man in his 46th year as beer salesman picked for Packers Fan Hall. Here's to you Lambeau Field beer man (15)
(Yahoo) Obvious Website producer dresses as backup goalie for Washington Capitals. But really - your cat could be the backup goalie for the Washington Capitals (43)

Fri December 12, 2008
(Seattle Times) Dumbass NBA Commissioner David Stern wonders if moving the Sonics from Seattle to Oklahoma City was such a good idea. "In fact, the actual economic opportunity in Seattle was far larger than any other city" (84)
(Boston Herald) Stupid Pop Warner football teams from Rhode Island and Massachusetts have altercation leading to both teams being ejected from their hotel and now face possible sanctions. There can be only one...team named the Eagles (18)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious If it's anything like the team, I wouldn't recommend buying the Detroit Lions condom (23)
(Fox Sports) Interesting Yankees sign Burnett. At this rate the Yankees will enter Spring Training with 20 new starting pitchers and will have a payroll of 100 billion dollars (72)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass Mets owners bilked out of eight Frankie Rodriguez contracts in Wall Street ponzi scheme (9)
(SportsYA) Spiffy Tomorrow is the FC Barcelona vs. Real Madrid derby. Madrid has got a fresh coach and FBC is looking at Gudjohnsen for midfield (23)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Paparazzi plants enormous-breasted asian woman next to Michael Phelps at airport for titillating photos. Media reports the woman as the asian cocktail waitress Phelps recently dumped (with pics) (26)
(Detroit News) Followup Detroit to Ex-Tiger Jim Bunning (R-Toyota): STFU and GTFO (114)
(Sportsnet.ca) Dumbass Former Tampa Bay Lightning head coach Barry Melrose may have just mouthed off to the tune of $2.25M (25)
(ESPN) Amusing Bill Simmons reveals the top 50 worst NFL-related Christmas gifts, Patriots playoff tickets not on the list (34)
(Free Press) Dumbass After voting against the auto bailout plan, U.S. senator and ex-Tiger pitching great Jim Bunning plans to go forward with plans to hawk autographed baseballs, jerseys or gloves in the deepest heart of UAW country. What could possibly go wrong? (218)
(Examiner) Fail Remember these guys and all the hype they got before the 2008 college football season? Yeah, neither do a lot of other people (27)
(Yahoo) Obvious After turning University of Buffalo's football program into MAC champions in only three years, head coach Turner Gill loves the possibilities... like the possibility of coaching at Auburn or Syracuse (28)
(Boston Herald) Interesting Manny realizes that people don't want to pay him a ton of money to be Manny, contemplates retirement (29)
(CBS Sports) Spiffy The Knicks might still be on the wrong side of mediocre, but apparently they have a championship caliber medical staff (10)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Obvious Terrell Owens critical of his quarterback. This is not a repeat from Philadelphia, San Francisco, etc (99)
(Boston Herald) Interesting Red Sox to buy another World Series in hideous new uniforms (100)
(Yahoo) Strange Milwaukee Brewers express interest in acquiring Jamie Moyer, Randy Johnson, John Smoltz, and the MLB record for oldest pitching rotation (20)
(Yahoo) Sad The Detroit Lions' QB quandry: A guy with a sore shoulder, a guy still recovering from a broken thumb, a guy who missed games with a concussion, or Drew Henson. Wow, do those options suck (43)
(The New Yorker) Interesting Malcom Gladwell says it's hard to predict how college QBs will do in NFL. IQ tests are NOT good measure, because McNabb, Marino and Bradshaw are no rocket scientists (44)
(Yahoo) Interesting Formula 1 agrees to measures that will cut costs, make on-track passing legal (20)
(Orlando Sentinel) Obvious Florida Gators coach Urban Meyer says coaching Notre Dame is "still my dream job; that hasn't changed." Charlie Weis tugs nervously on his tie (49)
(NHL) Spiffy Apparently The Islanders forgot to bring a goalie when they played the Penguins. Fark: Peter Sykora scores first ever hat trick (61)
(Some Guy) Amusing As if Texas Longhorn fans didn't have enough to be pissed about, now DC Muschamp is about to be named Auburn head coach. Boomer (58)
(ESPN) Followup The Peavy talks now have about as much life in them as the Cubs do in the post season (39)
(Some Guy) Sad Racing legend Al Unser Jr. paid extortion money to cover up sex video with prostitute. Varoooom (21)

Thu December 11, 2008
(ESPN) Obvious Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels calls Mets "choke artists." Next he plans to go outside and comment on the color of the sky (52)
(CBS New York) Obvious Knicks' Cuttino Mobley retires due to heart condition. GM Donnie Walsh seen giggling like a schoolgirl, clenching a framed photo of Lebron James with "2010" stamped on it (40)
(Sports by Brooks) Video Video of Oasis, David Beckham in Ricky Hatton's pre-fight dressing room. Still waiting on video of Coldplay, Cristiano invading De La Hoya's space (11)
(The Sporting Blog) Stupid Florida lineman learns tough lesson that dumb on the internet for a moment is dumb forever (33)
(Yahoo) Stupid 2007 Heisman winner Tebow joins Big 12 QBs Bradford and McCoy as Heisman finalists, despite Texas Tech's Harrell having more 1300 more passing yards and 9 more passing TDs than McCoy, identical team W-L records, and beating him head-to-head (112)
(Yahoo) Silly New England Patriots QB Tom Brady is trying hard to make it as big as humanly possible, while supermodel fiance Gisele Bundchen politely says that size doesn't matter (56)
(ESPN) Amusing When Melrose the Mullet was hired, you laughed. When he was fired, you laughed again. But now the Mullet is angry and you won't like the Mullet when it's angry (45)
(USA Today) Interesting "Absolutely not. We don't put no freakin' bounties on another man," said Raven's LB Ray Lewis, as he sharpened a toothbrush handle to a razor-like point (58)
(AJC) Obvious When you list $1 million as "cash out miscellaneous" in your bankruptcy filing, you can expect your creditors to be suspicious, Michael Vick (67)
(NHL) Amusing News: Caps may give starting job to back-up goalie. FARK: "Boudreau planned to give Johnson a day off Thursday ... asking the team's Web site producer, who played goalie in college, to bring his equipment to practice" (30)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Good: Scoring 33 points in one game. Awesome: Scoring 33 points in one *quarter* (24)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Minnesota QB Gus Frerotte will probably miss two weeks with a fracture in his lower back even though an injured Frerotte is still better than a healthy Tarvaris Jackson (30)
(WTMJ) Obvious Melky Cabrera to be traded from Yankees to newest Yankee farm club, the Milwaukee Brewers, for Mike Cameron (48)
(Yahoo) Interesting New York Mets, Seattle Mariners, and Cleveland Indians complete 3-team, 12-player deal involving JJ Putz, Franklin Guitierrez, Joe Smith, a couple of batboys, and a popcorn vendor (57)
(Dallas News) Dumbass How does T.O. feel about criticism from ex-Cowboys Keyshawn Johnson and Emmitt Smith? "Those two need their own show - Dumb and Dumber." (41)
(SFGate) Cool The AFL season that was suspended, then off, is back on again (19)
(Spiegel) Strange Grandmaster "Big Chucky" may face two-year ban from the world of chess for . . . doping? (69)
(ESPN) Fail Thunder blows 21-point lead to drop to 2-21. We're sure they left Seattle, right? (45)
(NJ.com) Followup Wak-a wak-a wak-a wak-a wak-a wak-a wak-a...Bwoo woo woo woo woo woo woop (28)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Dumbass John Daly smashes spectator's camera while shooting another round larger than his life expectancy (23)
(YouTube) Video Barry Sanders Jr scores an amazing touchdown in state semi-final game. NFL: "Oh sh*t, there's MORE?" (89)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Pro hockey team called "Iowa Chops" asks fans to name their cheerleaders. Fans: "The Baby Backs" (with pics) (27)
(Some Guy) Sad Chris "Flash" Richardson of the Harlem Globetrotters found dead while the team was on their annual holiday tour of military bases overseas. Saint Peter last seen ducking out of the way of a bucket full of confetti (19)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Davey Johnson named USA's World Baseball Classic manager (10)
(Deadspin) Followup Patricia Blagojevich, alias David Mamet's Lady MacBeth, reveals White Sox bias on wiretap, "hold up that farking Cubs shiat, fark them."" (18)

Wed December 10, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Mark Cuban talking doll "yells at refs" and warns of "choking hazard." Wire-tapped phone sold separately (6)
(Yahoo) Stupid Joey Porter says professional atheletes have the right to carry handguns; right to act like obnoxious jackasses still up in the air (40)
(WEEI) Obvious Military expert Curt Schilling announces we're winning war in Iraq. GO YANKEES (84)
(Houston Chronicle) Hero Texas lawmaker proposing bill to end BCS system (79)
(NYPost) Stupid Explaining once again why most people use it to wrap fish or line birdcages, the NY Post debates whether Joba Chamberlain has a better fist pump than K-Rod (11)
(ESPN) Obvious Fred Taylor could miss the rest of the season due to injury. This is not a repeat from 1999, 2000, 20001, 2004, 2005 (25)
(BBC) Cool Man United play Aalborg, Arsenal v. FC Porto, Dynamo Kiev v. Fenerbahce. Subby can't pronounce some of the team names so it must be your UEFA Champions League discussion thread (43)
(The Tennessean) Stupid Titans DT Albert Haynesworth received 30 days of probation and paid a $1,000 fine for a speeding ticket he received in March for going 103 mph. In other news, there is a car that has enough power to go 103 mph with Albert Haynesworth in it (16)
(Some Guy) Followup Arena Football League to suspend 2009 season. Fan dismayed (59)
(ESPN) Scary NHL owners and GMs meet, predict hard times ahead for hockey, offer Sidney Crosby as sacrificial goat to the Almighty Orr and beg for forgiveness (46)
(The Big Lead) Interesting Tim Tebow may win a second Heisman. In other news, another running QB who may have been the best college football player of the past 20 years, Tommie Frazier, didn't win even one (120)
(The Scores Report) Scary Pacman Jones' season is over because of a neck injury. God help us all, he's going to have more free time on his hands (25)
(CNN) Cool Steelers linebacker James Harrison could very well sack-strip the NFL MVP award and take it in for a score (39)
(USA Today) Dumbass Joe Sakic injures himself while blowing (22)
(ESPN) Strange Old and busted: Coach tells referee to go have another doughnut. New hotness: Referee tells goalie to go fark himself (33)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Kerry Wood agrees to spend the next two years on the Cleveland Indians' disabled list (23)
(Yahoo) Interesting Since the Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson deal, the Denver Nuggets have been on fire. The Detroit Pistons, not so much (27)
(Yahoo) PSA New maple bats, encoded with serial numbers and ink markings, will be used for 2009 MLB season. So, when one of them breaks in half and hits you upside the head, please return it to the team so they can analyze why it failed (8)
(ESPN) Amusing Washington Redskins RB Clinton Portis refers to head coach Jim Zorn as a "genius". Unfortunately, it's the same way most people refer to Wile E. Coyote as a "genius" (29)
(USA Today) Interesting New process detects HGH in urine. Many athletes reportedly pissed (36)
(Mirror.co.uk) Cool Top 10 drinking athletes not named Mickey Mantle or Joe Namath (50)
(The Virginian Pilot) Obvious ACC expansion mostly a case of more is less (30)
(Kansas City) Unlikely Herm Edwards on the spread offense: "I kind of like it," he says as he strokes his until-now unnoticed goatee (26)
(LA Times) Stupid The Bowl Championship Series standings turned out the way they did because coaches and Harris poll voters put their biases aside and made decisions based strictly on the cold, hard facts. We'll pause here until you've finished laughing (63)
(NYPost) Obvious C.C. Sabathia agrees to deal with Yankees as there is no way he could turn down a team with over 140 million years of tradition (146)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Suspension by the NFL for water supplements- 4 games. Suspension by the NFL for coke possession- 3 games (27)

Tue December 09, 2008
(ESPN) Asinine In his ongoing attempt to become the Guiness World Record holder for moronic statements, Joey Porter blames the NFL for Sean Taylor's death (51)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass Dinosaur president of college football coaches association says he "laughed out loud" when he heard Obama's playoff system plan (57)
(Detroit News) Asinine If you're one of those pissed Detroit Lions fans that heckles Dominic Raiola during the games, he'd like you to come on over to his house so he can kick your ass (31)
(ESPN) Followup The New York Mets agree to a three year deal with Francisco Rodriguez worth $37 million. As expected, the K-Rod closing histrionics commence (46)
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing Strangest Kobe Bryant auction ever? $100K gets you dinner at Carl's Jr., autographed wooden tennis racquet (8)
(Sports by Brooks) Fail NBA player says last time Kevin McHale coached, "He was trying to draw plays, and it was like a little Etch and Sketch. Like a kid just messing around. . . . He just gave the clipboard to the assistant coaches." (19)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Perennial loser Indians close to signing former closer of perennial loser Cubs to increase odds of long-awaited championship, armageddon (22)
(Some Guy) Fail Tailback commences endzone celebration after scor...wait, that's the 5 yard line (58)
(Contra Costa Times) Weird PeTA declares top-5 vegetarian-friendly stadium food in NFL. Would you believe includes Oakland, Philly, and Green Bay? (33)
(Deadspin) Video Steve Young gets pelted with souvenir cup during MNF postgame wrap up results in another concussion. Bonus Stuart Scott toolishly referring to the football as "the rock" (47)
(Google) Followup Most of OJ Simpson's co-defendants to get probation on news that they didn't kill two people 15 years ago (64)
(Cleveland) Interesting Marty Schottenheimer intrigued about possibility of ensuring Cleveland Browns never win in the playoffs (22)
(Free Press) Dumbass Lions coach Rod Marinelli: "I believe in the invisible. I do." Pink Unicorn to start at QB Sunday (17)
(TSN) Asinine Mets offer K-Rod two year deal worth less than $24 million. In other news subby's boss offers him one year deal worth less then $17 billion. Way less (39)
(Yahoo) Strange One year ago, the Miami Dolphins were 0-13. This year, they're in a 3-way battle for first place in the AFC East. Start taking notes, Detroit Lions (17)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Baltimore Orioles believe they are in the race for Mark Teixeira, AJ Burnett, and third place in the AL East (12)
(Yahoo) Obvious Chinese athletes aren't honest about their age? It's more likely than you think (16)
(CNN) Dumbass Blubbering SI fanboy amazed that Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin may accomplish a feat that's only been done "five times in the last quarter century." Wow, that's only like once every FIVE years. Amazing (30)
(ESPN) Followup Oh yeah, about that whole Peavy going to the Cubs greenlight? Not so much (15)
(NBC Sports) Interesting Cubs to get Peavy in complex 4-team deal (30)
(TBO) Fail BCS' own computers determine national championship game should be Oklahoma vs. Texas. In other news, I-AA playoff system proceeding smoothly...again (113)
(BILD.com) Stupid Bayern Munich soccer players are a bunch of clowns...but then most people knew that already (5)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Jets to change travel schedule in hopes of not losing to all four terrible West Coast teams (18)
(Yahoo) Obvious NFL commissioner Roger Goodell's message to players who feel they need to pack heat when going to certain places: "Don't go to those places." Also, "Hugs, not drugs." (77)
(Boston Herald) Interesting Insider trading redux: Vegas sportsbooks won't take baseball bets during the winter meetings (2)
(Telegraph) Asinine If you had "Real Madrid fire their coach and replace him with a guy who couldn't win a single league match this season" please collect your winnings (6)
(Yahoo) Interesting Bonds highly sought after by Yankees and Mets (30)
(CBC) Obvious Researchers finally discover elusive correlation between bodychecking and concussions (9)
(TFDSsports.com) Stupid Raiders decide no practice makes pefect (19)
(Some Guy) Video Here's your NFL catch of the year. By the way, someone check that guy's gloves (66)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Rugby defies economic downturn with record attendance at Heineken Cup matches, primarily due to novelty of watching English teams win games (12)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting ABC to try and ruin NBC's Super Bowl with "Wipeout" half time special. Bruce Springsteen or Big Balls, what say you? (54)
(ESPN) Spiffy Longhorns' QB McCoy says his college career isn't dead, Jim (28)
(Sports by Brooks) Spiffy Former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader wins CBS' The Amazing Race. Who knew there was a tassels, bikinis & boots edition? (with pics) (22)
(Yahoo) Amusing And now...another episode of 'As The Cowboy Turns' (45)

Mon December 08, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious NHL's Phoenix Coyotes, facing losses of $35M this season, may be first American major league pro sports franchise to declare bankruptcy (120)
(Some Guy) Fail Why haven't the Lions won a game since they fired Matt Millen? One likely reason: Millen's supposedly still running the team as a consultant (31)
(49ers.com) Hero Singletary and his wife drove over to former head coach Mike Nolan's house following the 49ers first win under Singletary (against the Rams) to deliver a game ball (43)
(ESPN) Followup Tuberville's now resigned to let his mother fight his fights (17)
(Atom) PSA Plaxico Burress' PSA on gun safety. "You see a gun, you leave that mothaf**ka alone." (25)
(ESPN) Interesting Ranking all 34 bowls (74)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting College football's scheduling problem, or to put it in perspective - How come there aren't more Southeast Louisiana Tech Monroe at Shreveport University of Our Sisters of Immaculate Conception colleges we can play (30)
(Major League Baseball) Sad Ron Santo - The Susan Lucci of MLB (102)
(ESPN) Obvious We should have seen this coming (39)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Derrick Rose sees your shooting yourself in the thigh while in a night club and raises you a rolling over on to a knife while in bed (28)
(Chicago Tribune) Fail The Blackhawks scored so many goals on Phoenix last night that they broke the horn (29)
(Some Guy) Cool Oregon Ducks to play in the Holiday Bowl in San Diego, hometown of inspirational player that died before the start of the season (26)
(CNN) Stupid Giants choke against Eagles, Titans roll over the only team to beat the Giants previously. To Peter King this equals Giants #1 - Titans #2 (84)
(Sun Sentinel) Fail That whole "Micheal Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day" thing reported over and over by the media during the Olympics? Yeah, not so much (115)
(Reason Magazine) Obvious College football isn't what it used to be, thanks to the spread offense, poor fundamentals, and the proliferation of bowls like the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia and the Gaylord Hotels Music City (53)
(Washington Post) Obvious Apparently someone told Tony Romo Sunday's game against Pittsburgh was a playoff game. Also, TO sideline explosion. This is not a repeat from previous seasons (29)
(Awful Announcing) Followup Fox apologizes for airing penis on national television (162)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Timberwolves fire coach Randy Wittman, replace with GM/ostrich Kevin McHale (17)
(AP) Hero NFL's leading scorer of all time retires, won't pull a Favre (32)
(Some Guy) Misc Another sign of the apocalypse: The Arizona Cardinals clinch the NFC West (41)
(Denver Post) Obvious Playing tailback for the Denver Broncos is a lot like playing drums for Spinal tap (24)
(The Virginian Pilot) Obvious Hokies earn the right to choke in another BCS bowl (62)
(Sporting News) Spiffy Lionel Richie faces off against vaunted Glenn Frey/Don Henley defense line in Music City Bowl (13)
(Some Guy) Cool Australian model Anna Rawson, who is about the only reason to watch the LPGA Tour, barely hangs on to her 2009 tour card. I'd hang on to her card too, if you know what I'm sayin' (68)
(Guardian.com) Obvious Corporations are doing to "extreme" sports what they did to "alternative" music (24)
(Guardian.com) Unlikely LA Galaxy official warns Britain that some major American sports league will place franchise in London by 2010 (102)

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