Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Sports Archives for '2008-11-16 23:59:59'

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Sun November 16, 2008

	Pittsburgh defeats San Diego 11-10, the first time such a score has been recorded in NFL history	(41)
	Jimmie Johnson wins record-tying third straight NASCAR Cup title. Subby would like to thank this Google Yardbarker Network Blue One website for all the hard work it took to make this headline possible	(4)
(Some Guy)	Obama: "I'm going to throw my weight around" to create a college football playoff. Subby is a USC fan, and approves of this message	(124)
	In something that you can no longer see in baseball, basketball, or hockey, NFL game ends in tie. We're a rule-change away from this being the last tie in American major sports	(66)
	Want to see the BCS explode? ESPN has a scenario for you. Bonus: completely plausable	(25)
	"NASCAR is about to face some tough times." Everybody stop your engines	(20)
	The Top 10 NFL punt/kick returns, or, Devin Hester's highlight reel. (w/video goodness)	(29)
(Some Guy)	New York's pro soccer team to play for championship. In other news, New York has a pro soccer team	(29)
	Call a Wahmbulance for Brewers' GM. And a regular one too incase he's been clogging his arteries with brats to ease the pain	(30)
	Week 11 NFL discussion thread. Can Sage Rosenfels repeat his incredible FAILcopter against the Colts? Will the Titans remain undefeated? Also Broncos/Falcons, Bears/Packers, and Chargers/Steelers	(1299)
(Some Guy)	University of Illinois mascot, eliminated in '07, is back. Protestors: "People are not mascots, respect all people." 9,000 supporters: eat it	(42)
	Baseball's top 5 worst MVPs. The Dustin Pedroia reacharound line forms to the right	(67)
(Carbolic Smoke Ball)	Congress considers bailout package for Detroit Lions	(13)
	Vanderbilt becomes bowl eligible for the first time in over a quarter century	(23)
(Some Guy)	Paterno contemplates rebuilding year. Bobby Bowden buys a Power Chair	(17)
(Some Guy)	Captain America loses to a TKO in Round 2. Red Skull victorious	(142)

Sat November 15, 2008

	Michigan loses 8th game of season for the first time ever. Likely to ask for some of the bailout money for research on how to beat Ohio State	(64)
(Some Guy)	Brett Favre Packers jerseys are finally on the clearance rack at Walmart, thus putting the final nail in the coffin of the most obnoxious cheeseheaded BS ever unleashed on a professional sport	(46)
	Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea are all in action in today's premier league thread, meanwhile Manchester United will be practicing defending throw-ins	(30)
	Today's college football discussion thread, although nothing matters at this point since the BCS title will be Big 12 vs SEC	(860)
(Some Guy)	Search the 2008 NFL player salary database and see where your PSL, season ticket, and over-priced stadium beer money goes	(35)
	A week in the life of an NBA ref	(15)
(Some Guy)	Top 20 Wrestling Moves That Sound Like Sex Moves -- Anybody up for a Camel Clutch?	(33)
	NASCAR cancels 2009 track testing to save money, which is equivalent to saying, "Hey guys, watch this"	(19)

Fri November 14, 2008

	Barney On The Attack: Reportedly bit Celtics' PR director after White House ceremony honoring team. Injury kept under wraps by way of bandage	(19)
	Mullet gets the chop	(52)
	C.C. Sabathia offered a contract with the Yankees with 140 million burgers from the dollar value menu	(49)
(M Live)	Michigan may not be racking up the wins under Rich Rodriguez, but at least they're racking up felony assault charges. Bonus: Against a Michigan hockey player	(52)
	Boston Bruins humiliate Montreal Nancys to brutally end 12-game losing streak	(51)
	Michael Vick 's bankruptcy statement. Waste, Incorporated	(183)
	After serving his sentence, Michael Vick plans to rejoin the NFL as a tight end	(65)
(Some Guy)	One guess as to who Chad Ocho Cinco has multiple paintings of in his house (with pic)	(47)
	Oxford rugby team tape sidelocks to their heads and carry bags of money to "bring a Jew" party. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this	(91)
	After being sent to the minors the year before, Cliff Lee is the second straight Indian to win the AL Cy Young Award	(16)
	Today's sign of the apocalypse: Dolphins tied for second in the AFC East with the Patriots	(31)
	Jason Whitlock rates the 10 best and 10 worst NFL coaches, none of whom, coincidently, will hire his buddy Jeff George	(62)
	LeBron James loses some street cred with an iPod admission. Hint: rhymes with Marry Banilow	(40)
(Some Mose)	One of the best sports blogs, FireJoeMorgan.com, calls it quits	(52)
(The Daily Lowdown)	Jets beat Patriots in OT in unbelievable battle for AFC East	(151)
(Axis of Oversteer)	Race driver climbs into his car's engine bay, finishes race after throttle breaks. Balls of steel or future Darwin nominee? (with video)	(32)
(Some Guy)	Two hand touch: coming soon to the NFL	(30)
	Eric Alterman calls Bill Simmons "one of the biggest jock-washers for the New England Patriots in the mainstream sports media." Guess we know why Bill took the Jets in his picks this week	(38)

Thu November 13, 2008

	Randy Johnson files for free agency. The Diamondbacks would have taken him for another season, but he was scaring away the kids	(20)
	Chicago Cubs get rid of a little dead Wood	(40)
	British Sports Minister: "Remember me saying 'We don't want to host the 2012 Olympics anymore...we can't afford it?' Yeah, I didn't mean it. Or I was quoted out of context. Or some damn thing."	(29)
	Evander Holyfield breaks out his walker and slowly shuffles out of retirement at age 46 to fight Nikolai Valuev for WBA heavyweight belt	(32)
	The NFL should institute a one-year moratorium on local television blackouts for the Lions because, let's be honest, living in Detroit is worse than post Katrina NOLA	(32)
	Bill Simmons puts the Patriots at the top of his NFL Power Poll ranking. OK, he didn't. But it sounds plausible	(270)
	Yankees prove they're committed to getting younger by trading a 23-year-old pitching prospect for the worst hitter in baseball	(76)
(Some Guy)	Englands jailbait Under 17 Womans football team loses World Cup Semi Final. Following in the proudest traditions of English football, except for the lack of gangbangs with adoring fans of the opposite sex	(20)
	The 'Curse of Palin' continues: Blues give up three goals in six minutes, lose sixth straight, and fall to 1-7 since the Hockey Mom's puck drop	(42)
	ESPN's first edition of Bracketology this season. Rational discussion starts to the right	(49)
	Atlanta Hawks 6-1. Next stop 6-76	(28)
(Some Guy)	Daunte Culpepper to start Sunday for the Lions. As opposed to the hotdog guy, or the blonde cheerleader with the nice cans	(53)
	Pair of Stanley Cup rings stolen in Toronto. Police still trying to determine what two Stanley Cup rings were doing in Toronto	(34)
	British Sports Minister: We don't want to host the 2012 Olympics anymore...we can't afford it	(86)
(Some Guy)	Ron Artest is clearly losing his touch. Doesn't join in the Rockets, Suns brawl. Shaq, however, does (with video goodness)	(53)
	20 facts about bungee jumping. 20 facts about bungee. 20 facts about. 20 facts. 20	(79)
	Bobby Knight joins ESPN, will cover NCAA hoops and occasionally throw Dick Vitale onto the court and choke Jay Bilas	(16)
	Ribeiro, through the legs, one-handed deke on a shootout, tada	(45)
	Bernard Hopkins says what every Eagles fan is thinking	(43)

Wed November 12, 2008

	As if soccer didn't already suck enough, experts say 24/7 stadium lighting rigs are killing the earth	(25)
(Some Racing Guy)	Dale Earnhardt Inc. and Chip Ganassi Racing merge to form new four car team	(33)
	On November 15th, 2005, Joe Maddon replaced Lou Piniella as Tampa Bay's manager. Today, they both won Manager of the Year	(26)
	In an effort to make football appealing to teen girls, the NFL gets Jesse McCartney to perform during the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving Day game halftime show; they obviously wanted something to suck more than the Lions that day too	(62)
(Some Guy)	Kevin Youkilis of the Red Sox plays above the rim, marries Ben Affleck's sloppy seconds	(45)
(Some Guy)	Terrell Owens goes on Letterman to deliver some advice to kids. Trying to O.D. on sleeping pills is surprisingly left out of the Top Ten	(28)
	In these tough times, the New Jersey Nets are helping both of their fans find jobs	(8)
	ESPN planning on overpaying for the 2010 rights to the BCS and National Championship games	(26)
	Boxer appropriately named Trenton Titsworth kisses opponent, then promptly gets knocked out (with video)	(49)
(Some Guy)	LeBron James comes within a hair's breath of dunking from the foul line. During a game	(65)
	Oakland Raiders offensive coordinator Greg Knapp stripped of play-calling duties. Raiders fans stunned to learn that plays were actually called and not just made up in the huddle, sandlot-style	(29)
	Arsenal plays 10 teenagers in Carling Cup rout over Wigan and is considering giving them a go in the Premiership	(14)
	For the third time in four games, LeBron James scores exactly 41 points. Cue the "Twilight Zone" music	(10)
	Tom Brady's recovery is hampered by stiffness in his knee. Upon hearing that there is news about Tom Brady, many sports columnists are reporting stiffness near their crotch	(29)
	#14 Ball State improves to 10-0 for first time in school history, opens door for lots of nutsack jokes come bowl time	(49)
	Sports Coup in Cincinnati, fans attempt overthrow of Bengals owner	(40)
	Apparently giving up 35 points and 422 yards of total offense is good enough to hand out blackshirts for the Pelini brothers	(7)
(Some Guy)	The big winner at the World Series of Poker: the tax man	(51)
(Some Guy)	Man gets hit in the groin by a 60 mph pitch from a pitching machine, collects $1.2 million for pain and suffering	(80)
	Michael Jordan: "Ultimately ... I'd love for Jared to be our eighth, ninth, 10th guy. But now he's starting for us. That's a little bit out of whack." Way to build up your team, MJ	(16)
	Detroit Red Wings lead Pittsburgh Penguins 5-2 with only 15 minutes to play. As you can guess from the tag, they find a way to blow it, lose in overtime	(76)
	The Denver Broncos are so desperate for running backs, they just re-signed Tatum Bell	(26)
	Wisconsin press, you now have permission to fire out "the below-.500 Packers would have stunk with Favre, too" stories	(58)
	Atlanta Hawks 6-0. Next stop Boston	(37)
	Orioles announce changes to 2009 losing uniforms	(31)
	Marlins pitcher suspended 50 games for the use of ineffective performance enhancers	(9)

Tue November 11, 2008

(Idaho Statesman)	University of Idaho's Football Season going so bad that players are having each other arrested	(5)
	Brewers' save artist Salomon Torres retires after a career high season to spend time with family. If he follows the usual pattern he'll un-retire in 2010 and sink slowly into mediocrity	(14)
	New Russian pro hockey league that lured Jaromir Jagr to play "hasn't paid its players in three months"	(27)
	Kenny Rogers files for free agency, still doesn't know when to fold 'em	(22)
	Donovan wins 2008 Honda Player of the year award, celebrates by singing "Hurdy Gurdy Man" and "Mellow Yellow"	(15)
	Twenty tidbits you don't really need to know about college basketball	(20)
	Mike Leach, wearing "same clothes as the night before", yells "Guns Up" during NASDAQ bell-ringing ceremony "and people on the floor are ducking for cover, and security is running around."	(39)
	Kostopoulos given three games for brutal hit that will have Van Ryn out for a month. League says the fact that Van Ryn turned into the hit was a mitigating factor. No word on if he was wearing a slutty dress	(34)
(Sports Business Journal)	With nearly a 100% cost overrun on their new stadium and current financing caught up in the investment bank meltdown, the Cowboys need a loan	(19)
	"Even Rex Grossman would fare well against the Bears' pass defense." Week 11 power rankings	(69)
	University of Texas to get its own sports channel. Notre Dame yawns and cashes another check from NBC	(30)
	Super Bowl advertisers and TV networks both discover to their shock that 30 seconds of air time is not worth $3 million	(28)
	The only pitcher the San Franciso Giants SHOULD be paying $126 million over 7 years is Tim Lincecum. He just won the NL Cy Young Award and doesn't stink up the park like Barry Zito does	(48)
	Jags player: "You suck." Lions player: "You suck, too." Jags player: "Not as bad as you." Lions player: "You're right."	(30)
	Researchers say they're getting closer to HGH test. Cheaters say they're closer to new drug that's better and more undetectable than HGH	(11)
(Some Guy)	Minnesota Twins legend Tony Oliva plays Wii baseball against his grandson. Pwnage ensues	(20)
	Culpepper: "Tell me a play that usually works well for you guys and we'll do that." Smith: "... we punt pretty well?" Culpepper: "OK. Let's run up the middle three times and run that."	(19)
	"If Ball State finishes 13-0, it will probably end up playing in the Motor City Bowl. Imagine that, going 13-0 and being rewarded with a trip to Detroit."	(134)
	NBA scales down its pre-draft camp after realizing that none of the top prospects actually want to attend	(4)
(Some Guy)	A kid with the last name of Favre is setting Mississippi high school football records and generating interest from UCLA and Notre Dame. Guess who his uncle is?	(99)
	How much is a Duckworth? $600,000 if he sticks with the Kansas City Royals, $300,000 if he gets promoted to AAA	(12)
	Why trade for somebody that you've previously unloaded twice, doesn't want to play for you again, and will probably end up right back with the team you traded with?	(24)
	Brooklyn Dodgers pitching great Preacher Roe is dead at age 92	(14)
	Network cuts away from NASCAR finish with 34 laps left. "I knew we were in trouble when I looked at the monitor and saw a monkey scratching its butt"	(87)
	Jets give Patriots a chance to break Law on Thursday	(49)

Mon November 10, 2008

	Colorado Rockies trade Matt Holliday and their dignity to Oakland A's	(46)
	Cubs Geovany Soto wins NL Rookie of the Year. Still no cure for goats, black cats, Bartman, choking	(28)
	Hottie Olympic gymnast Alicia Sacramone pitching her own reality show to MTV. Inevitable game show guest star role and Playboy pictorial will have to wait	(40)
(6abc.com)	A pass in a high school football game starts falling, then gains altitude again after inadvertently passing through tractor beam	(134)
	Daunte Culpepper goes five of 10 for 104 yards, zero touchdowns, one interception; was sacked twice before leaving the game with an injury; now sucks so much that not even light can escape	(71)
	Two dead in argument over Alabama-LSU game. SEC football = Serious business	(138)
	How bad do the Raiders suck? The opposing quarterback went 7-27 for 72 yards and four interceptions, and the Raiders still lost	(99)
	Michael Jordan had more success hitting curve balls than he's had so far making NBA personnel decisions	(22)
(Some Guy)	In honor of the Patriots cheerleader who got axed last week, here are the top 10 cheerleader scandals of all time. And yes, Arizona State is of course featured multiple times	(63)
	Ipswich goal-scorer does "solidarity" celebration for former teammate. Too bad it was a handcuffs-style shout-out to the goalkeeper, who's doing seven years in PMITA for killing two kids while driving drunk	(42)