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Sun September 21, 2008
(Record Online) Hero Kid catches only TD in game a month after his mother was stabbed to death. BONUS: It was the first game in the school's new stadium BONUS 2: Against their arch rivals (17)
(FARK) Followup The battle of Pennsylvania, Cowboys/Packers, and more. It's your Week 3 NFL discussion thread (continued) (488)
(Daily Star) Obvious If you own a professional sports team, and even your mascot has turned against you and is insisting you sell the team, it might be time to look for something you're good at (pic) (7)
(Washington Post) Fail Syracuse AAA baseball team GM on switching affiliation from the Toronto Blue Jays to the Washington Nationals: "We went from the capital of Canada to the capital of the United States." (22)
(CNN) Cool Tigerless US Ryder Cup teams folds like a cheap suit. Just kidding, Team Europe disappeared like someone brought up their bar tab (31)
(ESPN) Cool Dolphins destroy Patriots; both Dolphins fans rejoice. Booyah (112)
(tmj4) Cool Hunter gets 553 lb. bear during first day of bow season. SHE shot it from 15 yards away (66)
(ESPN) Cool The battle of Pennsylvania, Cowboys/Packers, and more. It's your Week 3 NFL discussion thread (1572)
(ESPN) Cool Steve Martin look-a-like Bobby Johnson coaches Vanderbilt to 4-0 start, Commodores sit in 1st place in the SEC. Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuse Meeeeeeeeee (53)
(Yahoo) Fail Heeeey batta batta batta batta, swiiiing batta....he can't hit, he can't hit, he can't hit....saaawiiiiing batta (45)

Sat September 20, 2008
(ESPN) Cool The Tampa Bay Rays clinch a playoff spot. Book it. Done (90)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass Washington State football players have to be reminded to eat. I'm guessing this isn't the Harvard of the Pac-10 (26)
(Some Guy) Interesting High school football player breaks neck during game, thinks it's just a strain and makes two more plays after half-time. After he finds out it's broken, calls Chuck Norris a puss (79)
(ESPN) Dumbass Red Sox suffer from abbreviated Colon (16)
(ESPN) Cool Cubs. Playoffs. Book It. DONE (116)
(Yahoo) Cool Yankees win last ever home day game at the current Yankee Stadium (16)
(WTOP) Fail The Nationals still haven't paid the rent for their stadium, even though their season has been effectively over for at least two months (21)
(The New York Times) Obvious Yankees hire extra security guards for the weekend to make sure fans don't begin demolition of Yankee Stadium a little early (34)
(ESPN) Cool Mets to host the Brewers in case they decide to go on a late season losing streak and end up tied (15)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Can Notre Dame continue its perfect season? Who will win: Georgia or Arizona State? Can Michigan lose today despite having no game scheduled? It's week four of college football (1438)
(The Sun) Amusing Soccer star Wayne Rooney must apologize to photographer he spat on or go to court. Is Wayne Rooney gonna have to choke a biatch? (15)
(CNN) Cool History is made: Baseball's first reversal via instant replay (41)

Fri September 19, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Bizarro late '80s Canadian PSA features Bea Arthur, Mario Lemieux and Tony Fernandez on "Fair Play" in sports; Apparently segment with Bill Belichik ended up on cutting room floor (16)
(Sports by Brooks) Sad Budweiser Building may soon be voided from Wrigley Field views. What will Cubs fans know what to drink now? (24)
(ESPN) Unlikely ESPN creates a list of the 100 most important sports venues. Hint for #1: Think about east-coast bias with a large spoon of douchebaggery (105)
(ESPN) Fail Carlos Zambrano makes up for his no-hitter against Houston by coughing up 7 runs in 1 2/3 innings against St. Louis (37)
(Yahoo) Obvious Al Davis is ruining the Raiders. Bonus: With a freshly-risen-from-the-dead pic (32)
(Awful Announcing) Video The year was 1989 and ESPN's Stuart Scott was just a lowly weatherman in Raleigh, NC (36)
(Some Guy) Cool Jessica Simpson likes to give Tony Romo the ol' Covered Wagon (55)
(Cleveland) Sappy Notable athletes from this season of Dancing with the Stars: Maurice Greene, Misty May-Treanor, and the graceful, elegant Warren Sapp (16)
(USA Today) Dumbass NBA tells Miami Heat rookie Michael Beasley that his actions at the Rookie Transition Program were fine... $50,000 fine, to be exact (17)
(WPXI) Interesting Billionaire investor Stanley Druckenmiller has withdrawn his offer to buy controlling interest in the Steelers, leaving Ben Roethlisberger's title of "Most Ridiculous Name in the Steelers Organization" intact (31)
(NHL) PSA Def Leppard to ruin the Detroit Red Wings Stanley Cup banner-raising ceremony (51)
(CBS Sports) Amusing Bill Stewart loses second game with talent-loaded offense, Michigan fans finally get a much-needed dose of schadenfreude (54)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Euros dominating Tiger-less Americans in Ryder Cup. Just kidding, US leading or square in morning foursomes. It's your Ryder Cup discussion thread (82)
(Yahoo) Obvious After Miami LB Joey Porter claims that beating the Patriots without Tom Brady "shouldn't be that hard," QB Matt Cassell takes the high road, chooses not to point out that beating *anybody* is hard for the Dolphins (21)
(St. Petersburg Times) Dumbass Red Sox fan arrested at Marlins game for drunkenly taunting Rays fans says the newspaper photo of his arrest was "pretty cool" (43)
(CBS Sports) Scary After being knocked out in the 11th round, Oscar Diaz regains consciousness -- two months later (17)
(Mojo In The Morning) Spiffy Women's soccer team wears skirts & tight shirts: 21-year-old team captain denies publicity stunt rumors (61)
(Some Guy) Strange Annoying Yankee fan catches home run balls on consecutive nights (video) (66)
(AP) Obvious Major league sports are feeling the impact of the struggling US economy. NBA Commissioner David Stern, also known as NBA Captain Obvious: "I think it's fair to say that a sporting event may well define disposable income" (21)
(USA Today) Cool John Smoltz makes it to post season even if his team doesn't, as part of the TBS broadcast team (19)
(AP) Interesting A-Rod and wife reach divorce settlement. He gives her half of everything he owns and she agrees not to talk about the Jeter sleepovers (28)

Thu September 18, 2008
(ESPN) Obvious Beanie Wells is out for a second week in a row and Ohio State has not named its starting quarterback in this weekend's loss to Troy (48)
(ESPN) Cool Cubs' magic number reduced to 2 after the Brewers encapsulate their entire season in one epic fail of a ballgame (91)
(Some Guy) Weird Auburn students asked not to boo their own team. "Remember, the team isn't trying to lose the game" (35)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Ron Jaworski sued by New Jersey man; In an upset, plantiff not a disgruntled Monday Night Football viewer (26)
(Yahoo) Interesting MLB commissioner Bud Selig likes Kansas City's chances of hosting the All-Star game in 2011, which is as close as most Royals' players will ever get to an All-Star game (23)
(My Fox Tampa Bay) Silly What do the Sox need to catch the Rays in the AL East? More cowbell (27)
(ESPN) Cool Muhammad Ali shakes up the Ryder Cup with surprise appearance (21)
(Deadspin) Amusing Subtly alive and well at Notre Dame (15)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious Stephen King says television is ruining baseball because kids and increasingly cuurmudgeonly Masters of Horror can't stay awake to watch the games (29)
(ESPN) Interesting The US Government joins Red Sox fans, American League team owners, and Jesus in hating the New York Yankees (61)
(Yahoo) Strange Cleveland Browns lose credit for a sack after Elias Sports Bureau instead gives Ben Roethlisberger credit for a -7 yard pass to Ben Roethlisberger. Got all that? (24)
(ESPN) Stupid If Major League Baseball can find a way to add 20 games to the schedule they can hit all four seasons (17)
(ESPN) Amusing Los Angeles Dodgers warm up for the postseason by destroying the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates. Just kidding, they served up an 8-run seventh inning. You're doing it wrong (22)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup The Cubs deny 104-year-old fan the chance to throw out the first pitch, bring a metric assload of bad karma upon themselves (50)
(Westword) Cool B-2 stealth bomber flew from Missouri for Denver Broncos game flyover at no charge since it was seen as a practice bombing mission (161)
(ESPN) Obvious Curt Schilling, the most informed and intelligent person on earth, weighs in on Manny Ramirez and Manny Being Manny (60)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Brawlarity ensues at the Rays/Red Sox game. With "I'm glad that wasn't me" fight video (48)
(Yahoo) Strange The injury to Chicago Bears kick return Devin Hester is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma (21)
(Philly) Obvious McNabb's career choking record in games decided by 7 points or fewer compared with other current elite QBs (34)
(My Fox Colorado) Amusing San Diego Padres rookie players on camera trading baseball uniforms in for Hooters Girls uniforms for a little hazing action in downtown Denver (51)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass How do you deal with an awful team & dwindling attendance at a new state-of-the-art ballpark? If you're the Washington Nationals, you plan to slash payroll by $20 million (29)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting Alex Rodriguez breaks record for most seasons with 35 HRs, 100 RBI, 0 WS rings (58)
(The Onion) Amusing You thought the Chargers/Broncos early-whistle call was bad? Check out The Onion's top list of worst blown calls of all time (51)
(Denver Post) Followup Ed Hochuli sends email to Charger fans: "I failed miserably" Fans still await same comment from Norv Turner (67)
(Boston Globe) Amusing In the midst of a 1-7 slump with a 7.08 ERA, opposing player congratulated pitcher Paul Byrd on previous victory -- and also told him that he was telegraphing his pitches (11)
(madison.com) Amusing Cowboys Tony Romo says he's the same ol' guy.... well, except for the hottie girlfriend, buckets of money, and hanging around with bigger guys in spandex (38)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass No, Jay Mariotti. You can't get a job at the Chicago Tribune. Not yours (28)
(Yahoo) Followup Head coach discovers he has two asses (15)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Wondering why the Jets ran the ball three times last week near the Patriots' goal line instead of throwing the ball? Eric Mangini won't let Brett Favre audible at the goal line, that's why (46)
(MSNBC) Silly Sun/Liberty? Silver Stars/Monarchs? Relevance/Couldn't care less? It's the WNBA playoff openers discussion (26)
(New York Daily News) Unlikely Try as they might, Mets manage not to blow wildcard lead too (21)
(Some Guy) Interesting Michelle Wie's wish might be coming true. She's only two rounds away from getting a chance to become a REAL golfer (37)
(Yahoo) Cool Ichiro Suzuki becomes the second player in MLB history to collect 200 hits in eight consecutive seasons (57)
(Major League Baseball) Sad Ben Sheets leaves game with elbow injury, likely to miss the rest of the season. No, this is not a repeat from 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 (32)
(Yahoo) Cool Sox top Rays to regain share of AL East lead....just kidding, they got clobbered (58)
(International Herald Tribune) Strange Vince Young gets the chance to study how a veteran quarterback prepares and plays in the NFL - from the coaches box, as Kerry Collins runs his former team (19)

Wed September 17, 2008
(ESPN) Asinine Josh Howard "The Star-Spangled Banner' is going on. I don't celebrate this sh*t. I'm black." (103)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass Hank Williams, Jr. claims to reporter that he's a Cubs fan. Reporter to Hank: 'What do you think of Bartman?' Hank: 'Who?' (24)
(Some Guy) Florida Joey Porter guarantees that his team will beat the Patriots. In other news Joey Porter still thinks he plays for the Steelers and not the farking Dolphins (39)
(Some Guy) Obvious Colts lose Bob Sanders for "weeks" with ankle injury. What does that mean for Sundays game against Jones-Drew? Repeat the first two words of this headline (38)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Sports Illustrated's website deemed too "provocative" for Denver Airport WiFi users - even though the swimsuit issues are in full display at the gift shops (22)
(ESPN) Dumbass Patrick Roy's son pleads not guilty to assault even though there is video evidence of him brutally assaulting someone in front of thousands of people. The dumbass apple doesn't fall far from the dumbass tree (23)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Dallas Cowboys beat reporter claims Michael Irvin once nearly killed a teammate in scissors attack, and ex-Cowboys lineman Charles Haley often masturbated during team meetings (34)
(ESPN) Cool ESPN releases power rankings for all 32 franchises - cumlative since the merger. Jets fans might not want to click on the link to the right (69)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida St. Petersburg Times apologizes after publishing crossword puzzle with "Tampa" the answer to clue "Home of the Rays." Residents surprised to discover St. Pete has a baseball team (63)
(NJ.com) Misc The Yankees will inaguarate the new Yankee Stadium with a loss against the Cleveland Indians on Apr. 16, 2009 (14)
(ESPN) Obvious This week's criminal charges to Paterno's State Penn squad: marijuana possession. At least these players were already suspended (14)
(CNN) Dumbass NFL "expert" provides us with interesting news, such as "Braylon Edwards had one drop last week" and "the Cardinals are 1-1" (48)
(Dallas News) Obvious Seats being installed at new Dallas Cowboys stadium are required to be at least 19 inches wide, a two-inch increase from old stadium. Still won't cure stadium seating muffin-top syndrome, but at least they're trying (28)
(Daily Mail) Sad English soccer legend Paul Gascoigne tries in vain to get into a pub at 9 a.m. (pics) (19)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting After playing two "home" games in Milwaukee's Miller Park, Chicago Cubs players suddenly have clubhouse envy (78)
(Yahoo) Obvious Detroit Lions show interest in unemployed running backs Shaun Alexander and Cedric Benson. In other words, desperation (51)
(CNBC) Sad Magic Johnson has a reputation for being a business all-star, but due to the housing downturn and credit crunch, he's been relegated to bench warmer (34)
(WTMJ) Audio It's Packers-Cowboys week, which means Green Bay fans can again take annoying trips down Lombardi Nostalgia Lane with rememberances of the Ice Bowl - this time with hours of play-by-play goodness (49)
(The Sporting Blog) Amusing More epic fail for Syracuse football: New Ernie Davis statue has swooshes, even though he died before the swoosh was invented (34)
(CNN) Obvious C.C. Sabathia joins the rest of Wisconsin in drowning their tears with cheese as they lose to the Cubs and are .5 from the wildcard (65)
(ESPN) Interesting Desperate for help at WR, Seahawks trade for Colbert. Fantasy truthiness now worth 6 points (21)
(Yahoo) Fail Mets surrender NL East lead to Phillies. This is not a repeat from 2007 (60)
(Some Guy) Obvious Ottawa Senators owner wants to bring Major League Soccer team to city so fans in Canada's national capital can finally have a professional sports team to cheer for (53)

Tue September 16, 2008
(CNN) Obvious The three best teams in football all reside in the NFC East. No Redskins fans, we aren't talking about you (136)
(TSN) Cool Eric Lindros donates $5m to health centre, presumably for concussion prevention research (26)
(The Sun) Interesting Women's darts team complains they were disqualified from league just because one of their, um, 'members' used to be a dude (w/ you'd sorta hit it pic) (43)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Your tax dollars at work - $850 million in public funds for new Yankee Stadium creates a whopping 15 new jobs (27)
(Some Guy) Scary Dear Indy taxpayers: We planned on having most of the Colts new $720 million stadium paid by concerts and events, but considering people walk-out on them because the acoustics suck, well... who knows (91)
(NYPost) Followup Pedro Martinez is so mad at Jorge Posada's crack about the '03 Sox-Yanks playoff brawl, he may head down to Tampa and bodyslam Don Zimmer all over again (26)
(Mediabistro) Interesting NBC is trying to unload its leftover Olympics merchandise, offering good deals on Michael Phelps' used condoms and the towels the US women's softball team cried into (26)
(Major League Baseball) PSA The Playoff schedule has been set. LDS games start on Oct 1st, World Series starts on Wed Oct 22nd, with the Cubs on the road vs an AL team (66)
(ESPN) Cool Today's sign of the apocalypse: The Mountain West conference might be better than both the Big East and the ACC (68)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress is on the verge of realizing something that every football fan in America already knows -- Tarvaris Jackson shouldn't be a starting QB (87)
(Sports by Brooks) Fail Inspired by Oakland A's raising money for Diabetes research by selling root beer floats, the NBA has signed on Pepperidge Farm and Dwyane Wade to help kids "make healthy life decisions by encouraging proper eating habits" (18)
(Awful Announcing) Amusing Video of Tony Kornheiser's awkward on-air apology after making a terrible joke about Mexican drycleaners (197)
(ESPN) Amusing Fish replaces Bryan, question mark replaces Blake (7)
(Yahoo) Obvious Detroit Lions QB Jon Kitna admits giving up on a play where he couldn't catch yet another defensive player returning his interception for a TD. Does this mean he isn't predicting 10 wins this year? (58)
(Boston Globe) Amusing Boston Red Sox reliever Jonathan Papelbon curses at reporters and tells them he is not a machine while he sits in front of his locker, attempting to fix the loose screw in his head (66)
(New York Daily News) Unlikely Columnist tells New York Jets coach Eric Mangini to let Brett Favre be Brett Favre. In related news, the Jets' playbook expected to be replaced with "everybody go long" (45)
(Rocky Mountain News) Obvious Matt Holliday wants to stay with the Colorado Rockies -- all he wants is a seven-year, $150 million deal with a no-trade clause to do it. Why can't you understand that? (27)
(Yahoo) Interesting The Cincinnati Bengals -- fewer arrests, fewer wins. Coincidence? (24)
(Yahoo) Obvious Like a sperm whale falling from space, New York Mets fans cry out, "Oh, no... not again" (64)
(JSOnline) Followup Ned Yost: "I said, 'Are they going to fire me?' I said, 'No, not with 12 games left.' When I saw Mark (Attanasio) in the hotel room, I knew that was it" (38)
(Sports by Brooks) Sad By holding Beanie Wells out of USC game, Ohio State still on course for BCS Championship game (66)
(Some Guy) Dumbass DeSean Jackson really deserves three Dumbass tags for what will undoubtedly go down as the most boneheaded play in the NFL this season (with video dumbassery) (144)
(CNN) Obvious Donovan McNabb and the Eagles choking in a big game that they could have won? That's unpossible (126)
(Yahoo) Cool Yet another thing the NFL does better than all other sports: Hold referees accountable (96)

Mon September 15, 2008
(Guardian.com) Interesting The secret vice of high-performance athletes? Smoking cigarettes. "They are very secretive about it. These are people you would never have guessed were smokers" (62)
(ESPN) Interesting No, Vince Young, you can't have the Titans starting job back. Not yours (697)
(Yahoo) Sad The tallest player to ever play D-1 college basketball is likely out for the year with an injury to his size 26 foot (17)
(ESPN) Cool Astros manage 1 hit in 18 innings against the Cubs. Book it. Done (47)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Derek Jeter calls camera phone "worst invention ever", angry no one ever gets his good side (23)
(ESPN) Spiffy Griese to start again for Tampa Bay. Garcia's panties immediately go from "on him" to "bunched" (31)
(CNN) Obvious Peter King blah blah blah I want to enshrine Peyton Manning's balls blah blah blah Tom Brady's ACL is real to me dammit blah blah blah coffee (33)
(Deadspin) Dumbass Not News: Denver Broncos QB Jay Cutler does a commercial for McDonald's. Fark: He's diabetic (38)
(Examiner) Cool Denver Nugget J.R. Smith no better at putting small white ball into hole than large orange one (10)
(ESPN) Sad FSU Criminoles rob deserving schools like TCU and Fresno State of spots in top 25 polls by beating the daylights out of two I-AA teams (79)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious With club once again in freefall in National League standings, Brewers pull the chute of manager Ned Yost (94)
(Daily Mail) Asinine AIG asks the Federal Reserve for $44b in short term financing, so they can continue to pay Man U $112m for the honor of putting their logo on their jerseys (27)
(ESPN) Obvious "The Yankees should keep Joba Chamberlain in the bullpen." - Jorge Posada (18)
(TwinCities.com) Obvious Indianapolis Colts owner say it is imperative that the Minnesota Vikings be allowed to rape and pillage taxpayers for a spiffy new stadium like the one he just got (24)
(ABC News) Interesting In the latest AP poll the overrated SEC has half the teams in the top ten. No conference has ever done this before (120)
(Yahoo) PSA Here we go again, Ted Lilly is pitching a no hitter in the 6th inning (155)
(Washington Post) Amusing Yesterday was a mixed day for TE Chris Cooley. Good: caught pivotal 2nd and 22 pass forSkins, aiding in win. Bad: accidentally posted pic of foreskin on blog, aiding in embarassment. (SFW) (63)
(Yahoo) Interesting Usain Bolt could have run the Olympic 100m in 9.55 seconds if he hadn't showboated to the crowd, according to some guy with a TV and a calculator (27)
(AJC) Dumbass Falcon's safety celebrates loss to Tampa Bay by driving drunk (21)
(Denver Post) Cool Mike Shanahan felt so bad about a referee's blown call, he gave the Chargers chances to win on 4th and goal and a 2 point conversion. Chargers vaunted defense yields (207)
(Deadspin) Cool Pole Dancing: The Next Olympic Sport? (26)
(Reuters) Weird Witchcraft, soccer and mindless violence. Together at last (15)
(UPI) Spiffy New York Mets will bring their 9-foot Shea Stadium apple with them when they move into their new stadium so they can continue choking on the giant seeds (20)
(News.com.au) Sad Teammates wait until end of critical match before telling star player his house burned down. Oh, and they lost (5)
(Sports by Brooks) Followup Video surfaces of Slovakia's 82-0 women's ice hockey slaughter of befuddled Bulgarians (50)
(Canada.com) Obvious Toronto out of the playoffs. Leaf fans wonder what the hell is going on, knowing that doesn't usually happen until December at the earliest (18)

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