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Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun August 17, 2008
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7-year-old Wrigley Fields to throw first pitch at Wrigley Field. No, not an echo | (35) |
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L.A. second baseman Jeff Kent on legendary Dodgers broadcaster: "Vin Scully talks too much" | (39) |
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Mike Hampton pitches the Braves out of their four game losing streak. Wait, what? | (14) |
| (Scene Daily) | |
Joe Gibbs Racing to face serious penalties after trying to alter chassis dyno testing following the Nationwide series yesterday at Michigan | (64) |
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Ethiopians win gold and silver, Kenya bronze in men's 10000m, proving once again that Richard Pryor was right: lions make you fast | (25) |
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Once again the University of Michigan proves its superiority by producing the greatest athlete known to man | (79) |
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Looks like the conspiracy theorists were right; there is a pro-China judging bias. But it's not what you expect | (22) |
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Beijing Olympics officials express concern because athletes aren't on pace to use up all the free condoms | (33) |
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New England Patriots QB Tom Brady skips preseason game against Tampa Bay because of sore foot, menstrual cramping | (53) |
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NFL owners want to expand schedule to 17 or 18 games. Translation: They've overpaid for too many players, so they want more games where they can charge full admission price | (38) |
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MILF Red Sox fan goes to trial over a felony count of battery on a law enforcement officer, who was only trying to keep her from getting an autograph from Manny Ramirez for her son | (34) |
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American rifle shooter blows a sure gold medal by missing completely on his last shot. Again | (27) |
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May-Treanor/Walsh wax their Brazilian competition | (14) |
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41-year-old Dara Torres wins silver in the 50m womans freestyle. Get out of her pool | (20) |
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Great haul of China. Phelps wins record 8th gold medal | (302) |
| (Tonight's schedule) | |
If you hadn't clipped your fingernails, you wouldn't be holding the silver right now. It's tonight's Olympic Discussion Thread | (1277) |
Sat August 16, 2008
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Hammer struggles in women's individual pursuit. Parachute pants keep getting in the way | (7) |
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Phelps' controversial seventh win, frame by frame. For fascinating counter-arguments by haters, doubters, basement-dwelling conspiracy theorists, and anti-American college students, click to the right | (63) |
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Carl Pavano is rounding into shape nicely for his biannual start. Or biennial. Semiannual? It's one of those | (6) |
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Look out Tampa Bay. The Yankees have won one in a row by beating the mighty KC Royals after only 13 innings. ♪ New York, New York ♪ | (16) |
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Tom Glavine's next start may be in 2013 in Cooperstown | (24) |
| (Beijing Olympic Blog) | |
Poland wins gold medal in men's shot put, is planning to have it bronzed | (24) |
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Blah blah bla blah Michael Phelps, blah blah bla "swimming god," blah blah blah blah Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps, Michael Phelps, Michael Phelps | (111) |
| (Some Guy) | |
After a loss to the Royals which included 11 men left on base, Mariano Rivera wild pitches, and a pick off in the bottom of the ninth, this just about sums up the Yankees post-season chances | (47) |
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Georgia Bulldogs take top spot in preseason AP poll. Duke sucks | (73) |
| (jets) | |
Favre starts his first game with the Jets today against the Redskins. Summarize the game results in 10 words or less | (99) |
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Will Brock Lesnar turn the UFC into a circus? | (46) |
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Phew. Canada finally wins first medals of the Olympics. Let's get drunk | (28) |
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Ric Romero loosens his pants and asks, "Why do beach volleyball players pat one another on the butt?" (with unsatisfying picture) | (21) |
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(adds more quotes, background) - Bonus: a "blue riband event" | (16) |
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Chase Headley is not too happy he can't catch Pat Burrell's homer | (8) |
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Basketball player upset that he was only offered $59 million over six years. How is he suppose to feed his family on that? | (39) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Day 1 of the new EPL season - discussion thread | (145) |
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I told you our girls were hardcore. Canada's first Olympic medal will be in ladies asskicking | (36) |
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Justin Timberlake is bringin' funnyback, shows how he prepared to host the ESPY Awards | (24) |
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Yankees enter panic mode, demote starting CFer Melky Cabrera (with helmet-throwing pic goodness) | (40) |
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Cubs win ninth in a row on road after 3-run pinch-hit homer in ninth. Apocalypse threat level raised to "orange" | (43) |
| (ProFootballTalk) | |
The always humble Chad Johnson says he could beat Michael Phelps. What an Ocho Dinko | (18) |
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Hmmm... I'm thinking it sounds as if Jim Rome's wife might have said something just a little too "appreciative" about Michael Phelps. Or something | (61) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Ever wondered how the women in the opening ceremonies got their job? Yeah, they had to get naked first. Stay classy, China | (41) |
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Phelps out-touches his competitors to win his 7th gold medal by one one-hundredth of a second, tying Mark Spitz for most gold medals in an Olympics. Gives a quick interview then promptly walks across the pool to the locker room | (264) |
Fri August 15, 2008
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Steelers reporter removed from Rogers Centre sidelines for using equipment not approved by Canadian broadcasting laws. If we were talking Erin Andrews' equipment, then that would have been OK | (19) |
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Competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut upset in beer drinking contest by sports blog network editor | (4) |
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Now hear this - the secret to Michael Phelps' success could be . . . his iPod? | (71) |
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How does London expect to compete with Beijing's Olympic opening ceremony? With Jimmy Page on guitar and David Beckham on a double-decker bus booting balls | (16) |
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The hottest anti-AIDS poster you will see today. MERCY (No actual nudity, but don't open it if your boss is walking by) | (235) |
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"I learned that my job is to get the best out of the pitcher, to work for and with him. I know we win with pitching, and what I contribute offensively is secondary. Hey, it's all about winning, not stats." | (22) |
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This may come as a complete shock to everyone but Michael Vick's finances are a mess | (51) |
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The Chinese Government's Guide To Olympic Journalism: "refrain from publishing opinion pieces at odds with the official propangada line of the Chinese delegation" | (46) |
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You know the Colorado Rockies are back in form when their opening day second baseman is injured in the Olympics on a bunt attempt | (22) |
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Disgraced sprinter Ben Johnson suing former lawyer for $37m. FTFA: "there is overwhelming evidence that Mr. Johnson is intellectually retarded." | (47) |
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In what is retroactively becoming the Worst. Opening Ceremonies. Ever; Chinese officials belatedly admit that the world's top classical Chinese dancer was paralyzed for life after a prop malfunctioned during rehearsal | (615) |
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This week in Olympics, conveniently condensed in a one-minute clip | (15) |
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Alonzo Mourning helps Miami Heat fan celebrate 102nd birthday, catch up on old times when they were in high school together with John McCain | (8) |
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Mongolian judo athlete wins nation's first gold medal. Only 1.2999 billion asses left to kick to fulfill national destiny | (39) |
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PTI's Michael Wilbon's appearance at Wrigley to sing 7th inning stretch and throw first pitch triggers ethics debate; meanwhile, baseball players take steroids and throw pitches at each other's heads | (24) |
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In a shocking development John McEnroe was thrown out of tennis tournament for arguing with the ref | (20) |
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A tale of two draft picks: Manning and Leaf. Bledsoe and Mirer. Edwards and Beck. I'm sorry, who were those last two? | (30) |
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ESPN dislikes Phelps' dominance in the Olympics, most likely because: a) ESPN doesn't have broadcasting rights to live Olympic events, b) He's not on the Yankees, c) He's not on the Red Sox, d) All of the above | (82) |
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Five of the ten unsigned first-round baseball draft picks are represented by Scott Boras. Bonus, the Yankees' pick already told them to suck it | (35) |
| (Some Canadian Finishing Last) | |
Canada, going for the purple | (66) |
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Hoping to make his bullets go faster, 50M Olympic shooter is the latest doping cheater | (40) |
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6 down, 2 to go | (39) |
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It's a Liukin/Johnson 1-2 punch and the USA girls gymnastic team runs away with the gold. Hero tag stands in because Cool tag has something in its eye | (343) |
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A study of ESPN's east coast bias. Duke sucks | (71) |
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Red Sox to fans: If some douchebag reaches into the field of play and deflects the baseball into the crowd, treat it like Paris Hilton and let it roll around in spilled beer and penis, I mean peanuts | (47) |
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Chris "The Mad Dog " Russo leaves WFAN's Mike and the Mad Dog sports show | (56) |
Thu August 14, 2008
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Oakland A's reliever Brad Ziegler record scoreless inning streak to start a career snapped at 39 1/3 innings | (15) |
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No Bills for ill who fill otherwise empty seats at Toronto's NFL exhibition | (33) |
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White Sox hit four straight taters in sixth. Somehow, you don't own any of them in your Fantasy league | (57) |
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QB Mark Sanchez (elbow), doubtful; DE Wes Horton (flu-like symptoms), questionable; WR Travon Patterson (crotchrot), probable | (12) |
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USC football team dealing with jock itch outbreak. ESPN sportscasters in quarantine to prevent spread | (39) |
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New reality show to feature Charles Barkley trying to improve his god-awful golf swing. Hollywood is out of ideas, but still has plenty of divots | (12) |
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The Olympic sports no one bothers to watch are being covered by reporters and analysts who didn't bother to leave New York | (27) |
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The competition for the #1 spot on the Chicago Bears' QB depth chart is still neck-and-neckbeard | (43) |
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"Dear NFL, Please reinstate me. I haven't been arrested in at least a month, and I haven't run my mouth off too much lately. Except for yesterday. Sincerely, Pacman Jones" | (26) |
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NOT NEWS: no hits by the Astros NEWS: Astros score 6 runs in one inning FARK: Astros score 6 runs on no hits in one inning | (30) |
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Philadelphia man charged with tryng to extort Giants coach Tom Coughlin over phony sex claims | (53) |
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Swedish wrestler throws down medal, cries like little girl, threatens Vince McMahon with folding chair. Bork | (280) |
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The Greek team that was supposed to give Team USA trouble this morning in Men's Basketball was secretly replaced by a group of imposters, let's see if the rest of the world notices before reminding us of our Bronze potential | (53) |
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Female Chinese gymnast born in 1995, meaning He was too young to compete in Olympics | (741) |
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Jason Kidd doesn't appreciate his Danish supermodel girlfriend hanging out & making out with Lindsay Lohan - especially since he 10,000 miles away from the action | (19) |
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Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek files for divorce -- maybe now he'll stop sucking too | (39) |
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Like most people who've been with your mom, Kitajima completes breaststroke sweep | (11) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Ocho Cinco challenges Michael Phelps to come to his pool (with video goodness) | (54) |
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Alfonso Soriano apologizes for standing at the plate after hitting a deep ball which ended up being a real long single | (39) |
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The Cubs swept a doubleheader on the road by eight runs or more for the first time since 1908. You know what else the Cubs haven't done since 1908? | (137) |
| (news-leader.com) | |
International Bowling Museum and Hall of Fame in St. Louis closes its last frame, nothing is spared | (16) |
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Manny, Nomar put Dodgers, Phillies into ties for their division leads. Boston surrenders | (50) |
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The woman who may just be the hottest Olympic athlete this year | (78) |
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O, Canada: Not just their anthem, their medal count. Water in liquid, not frozen, state apparent cause | (67) |
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University of Alabama coach Nick Saban is the most powerful coach in sports, according to Forbes magazine. Fear the process, ah-ight? | (83) |
Wed August 13, 2008
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Braves manager Bobby Cox ejected for arguing a game delay involving lights. At Turner Field. During a day game | (27) |
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U.S. Gymnast is driven to tears by NBC reporter's over-aggressive questioning after collapse in Olympic competition | (68) |
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"We're amazed. The most successful athlete in Olympic history is Michael Phelps and his triumphs are pushed back to make way for gossip in Hollywood" | (71) |
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It's like Bob Costas works for China: "NBC has depicted China as only the People's Chamber of Commerce could, showing us a prosperous, harmonious and deeply beautiful nation, swathed in culture and garlanded by history" | (80) |
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In true American fashion the US Women's Gymnastics Team blame someone else for their loss, an official | (121) |
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NBC uses a low-tech gravity camera to drop viewers into the pool along with Olympic divers | (45) |
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You know those "gold" medals the athletes are kissing and biting while on the podium? Yea, well along with the thrill of victory, it looks like they could be getting lead poisoning | (185) |
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Chad Johnson considers legally changing his name to Ocho Cinco. Ay caramba | (38) |
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College football powerhouse Vanderbilt says it does not need a 1,000 yard rusher. Apparently they also do not need a passer, or a kicker, or | (35) |
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Brett "Attention Whore" Favre says his arm is "fatigued". Well, then maybe you should have stayed retired, dumbass | (163) |
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Curses, U.S.A. gets foiled again | (43) |
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After getting called for a penalty which led to game-tying goal in final seconds, Australian women's water polo team shrugs it off as part of the game. Ha ha, no... they call the refs "stupid" and "arseholes" | (17) |
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Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day. TONIGHT WE DINE IN BEIJING | (235) |
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US women's gymnastics team takes silver after being beaten by US women's gymnastics team | (148) |
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Between sobs, Hank Steinbrenner says that the pitchers the Yankees lost to injuries this year are better than anyone on the Red Sox | (57) |
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Torre to Manny: "Get a haircut, hippie." Manny to Torre: "No way, Jose." It appears we're at a dreadlock deadlock | (57) |
| (Some Guy) | |
NBC online Olympic coverage earns gold for frustration | (41) |
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Today's (digitally-enhanced?) NFL viral video is brought to you by SD Charger Chris Chambers, who makes three sick catches | (41) |
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US follow up a no-hitter against Venezuela by no-hitting Australia. You'd hit it, but Australia and Venezuela can't | (30) |
| (Some Dead Guy) | |
Dear Chinese Olympic Committee, sorry about that whole missing my heat thing. I feel super bad, and tell ya what, I'm gonna come in on Saturday. We're cool, right? | (23) |
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Boston kicks a late field goal to beat Texas 19-17 | (48) |
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Cleveland sets Byrd free, lands in Boston | (23) |
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Jeff Garcia is so unhappy about the way the Bucs chased after Brett Favre that he's gonna go home, and he's gonna bite his pillow, that's what he's gonna do | (37) |
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10... and 11 | (133) |
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Kazakhstan women grab silver in weightlifting, gold in prostitution | (26) |
Tue August 12, 2008
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Civil War era baseball debuts in Maryland today complete with vintage wool uniforms, no * | (28) |
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The most dangerous sport for young women to compete in is A) water polo, B) chess boxing, or C) cheerleading | (21) |
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Detroit is now sick of Gary Sheffield's shiat, too | (18) |
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Last week: Several MLB scouts charged with skimming player bonuses. This week: Several MLB scouts implicated in gambling scheme | (11) |
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U.S. boxer thinks he's winning by a point, lets up, loses by a point, blames the judges for the loss | (29) |
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Rarely is the question asked: If everyone fought for Olympics tickets, why are there so many empty seats? | (36) |
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Top 10 college football teams of the last decade. Hey, where's Notre Dame? | (60) |
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Carolina Panthers WR Muhsin Muhammad: "Chicago is where receivers go to die." Chicago Bears QBs Kyle Orton and Rex Grossman: "Well... ummm... yeah" | (50) |
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Chicago Cubs RF Kosuke Fukudome about to become the world's most expensive bench warmer | (43) |
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Jeff Gordon's ability to turn right isn't nearly as good as it used to be | (25) |
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Jay Cutler ranked six spots ahead of Phillip Rivers in preseason quarterback fantasy rankings. Rivers last seen yelling and spitting at Cutler from across the computer desk | (44) |
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New rules for Jets and Giants fans: Don't ask to see anybody's boobs anymore or you're outta here | (27) |
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Dimitar Berbatov ready to compare egos in the Manchester Uniter locker room | (17) |
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Red Sox promote knuckleball pitcher to replace injured knuckleball pitcher | (149) |
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Dear diary: I lost my chance at Olympic Gold today. On the plus side, I'm almost certainly going to get laid while I'm here | (74) |
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"Once Favre began demanding reinstatement, there was no scenario in which Packers management came off looking good." TMQ is back, and it's Favretastic | (42) |
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Sports Illustrated does the numbers and proves what everyone outside of the Big Ten already knew: the SEC is the best conference for the last 5 years in college football | (353) |
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Colorado Rockies have decided to win the rest of their games | (27) |
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Beijing bummed by lack of butts in seats, grabs "volunteers" to vocalize at venues | (20) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Owing to eight injuries and absences, Arsenal are planning on playing a 17-year-old in a crucial Champions League away match. Queue for hand-wringing Arsenal fans forms over here ------------- | (12) |
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It was only a matter of time: Manny being Manny in L.A. | (70) |
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U.S. women's softball team puts smackdown on Venezuela to the point where the mercy rule had to be invoked | (51) |
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Stuart Scott shows he's the king of late night karakoke with his heartrending edition of Edwin McCain's "I'll Be." (With booyah-ed video goodness) | (22) |
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Zimbabwean swimmer wins two Olympic silver medals, on which the country will now base its currency | (54) |
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Despite trading away Adam Dunn, Ken Griffey Jr. and David Ross for basically nothing, Cincinnati Reds CEO Bob Castellini insists they're not in a rebuilding mode. Looks like somebody found Marge Schott's rose-colored glasses | (27) |
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Phelps spitz on records as he wins another gold | (56) |
| (WWL) | |
Kenny Chesney practices with the New Orleans Saints | (18) |
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Nothing beats a semi-pro football game, especially when it turns into a backyard brawl when the cameras are rolling | (5) |
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For pass attempts of 20 yards or more the past four seasons, jettisoned former NY QB Chad Pennington's passing rating is nearly twice as high as Brett Favre's | (34) |
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"Maybe it's a difference in our languages. Maybe in your language playing hard means showing off." Stay classy, Coach K | (33) |
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India's first ever Olympic gold medal is won by "Robert" | (46) |
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The Aaron Rodgers era begins...with an interception on his first series. It's preseason, which means fans get four more meaningless weeks to boo him | (67) |
Mon August 11, 2008
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The Spanish Basketball team practice blending in while in China | (40) |
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David Beckham wrecks yet another team as LA Galaxy's GM and coach are relieved of their duties | (31) |
| (golf.com) | |
With Tiger sidelined by injury, golf's TV ratings are tanking like Mickelson in the final round of a major | (22) |
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Mark Spitz reminds us that deep down underneath it all, every motivational speaker is really quite the douchebag | (61) |
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Facepalm, Manchester City-style | (30) |
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Mets manager pulls the starter with a 5-1 lead over the Pirates, and from there you know the tune | (24) |
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Detroit Lions fan gives WR Roy Williams free advice during practice. Williams offers to switch jobs with fan. Security offers a free trip to the parking lot | (30) |
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Despite being in the market for a left fielder/cleanup hitter, and despite already having ties to half the players in the Mitchell Report, there is no way the Astros would sign Barry Bonds | (18) |
| (Some Chauvinist) | |
What determines which nation gets the most medals at the Olympics? Being rich, cold winters and good health | (25) |
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For those of you who have ever wondered, "Why not use two quarterbacks?" -- the A-11 offense | (59) |
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Problem: You are paid by sunglass company to wear their brand at the Olympics, but they fog up due to high humidity. Solution: Pop the lens out and wear the frames only | (14) |
| (Press-Gazette) | |
Green Bay's WFRV-TV to become "Your Favre Station™" this fall | (23) |
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Gay hopes to come from behind for his big finish to pound the world record. Penis | (12) |
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Boozer, the guy who once fleeced a blind man, and has been trying to get traded to LA ever since, reveals the startling revelation that he'd consider big bucks to play in Europe | (19) |
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IOC to China: Your security forces at the Olympics are scaring people with stony faces and need to smile more. China to IOC: HAHAHAHAHAHA | (52) |
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Adam Dunn will be striking out for the Diamondbacks for the rest of the year | (92) |
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Cleveland Browns WR Braylon Edwards decides to run barefoot on the practice field while other teammates are still wearing spikes. This is why you don't do that | (64) |
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Cubs fan, 104, wants to throw out the first pitch at a Cubs playoff game. He also wants to get an erection, but that ain't happening either | (63) |
| (Syracuse.com) | |
USA Men's basketball team soaking in Chinese culture by eating at California Pizza Kitchen and Tony Roma's | (53) |
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If you had "three" in the games until Chris Carpenter is injured again, pick up your winnings. Mike Hampton points, laughs, strains a finger | (55) |
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New York Jets wide receivers: "Oh... so *that's* what a QB with an arm looks like" | (59) |
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George Steinbrenner is rolling over in his hospice after the Yankees fall 8.5 games back to Tampa | (103) |
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French 4x100 freestyle relay team will not be taunting the Americans a second time | (297) |
| (tmj4) | |
Wisconsin family burned all of their Brett Favre memorabilia, before roasting marshmallows over the fire and toasting Aaron Rodgers and the Packers. And they've videotaped it for your viewing pleasure | (67) |
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Kyle Busch wins today's Sprint Cup race. No, this is not a repeat from seven previous races this season | (18) |
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Livan Hernandez's debut as a Colorado Rockie in Coors Field goes as well as you would expect | (10) |
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