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Sun August 03, 2008
(ESPN) Sad Legendary Braves announcer Skip Caray passes away at his home in Atlanta. Let's hope he is having a few beers with Harry right now (36)
(Yahoo) Hero Miguel Olivo the latest MLB player to live the dream, by punching A.J. Pierzynski (28)
(Some Guy) Cool Are you ready for some football? Well too damn bad because the preseason kicks off tonight at 8:00pm on NBC (288)
(CNN) Ironic Raiders receiver Javon Walker was talked out of retiring by Al Davis, who, of course, knows all about when someone should or shouldn't retire (12)
(Daily Herald) Followup White Sox fan who lost his eye by the hands of three Cub fans gets invited to White Sox game of his choice. Too bad the Pirates don't play in the American League (35)
(ESPN) Stupid After one entire day with the Dodgers, Manny Ramirez wants to spend the rest of his career in LA. Lucky for him that won't be too long (43)
(Pocono Record) Amusing A field guide on how to pick up drunk redneck women at todays NASCAR race (with photos of drunk, almost naked redneck girls) (116)
(ESPN) Followup Favre turns down $20 million to stay retired, will attend Packers' camp (69)
(TurnTo10.com) Sappy Boy who lost bedroom full of NASCAR mementos in a fire gets replacements from J.J. Yeley race team: decals, T-shirts, hats, die-cast cars, the works (14)
(SFGate) Obvious The National League West isn't just the worst division in Major League Baseball today, it might just be the worst division in baseball history (18)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Soccer star Wayne Rooney's wife Coleen "Dream On" McLoughlin reckons she's earned $16 million through her own talent and that her husband's global status has nothing to do with the deals she's been offered (42)
(ESPN) Spiffy Phillies closer Brad Lidge continues his season long streak to earn his 27th save in 27 chances. Billy Wagner takes notes (22)
(Fox News) Interesting Baseball card fetches $1.62 million, Honus (17)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Reggie Bush supposedly snubs Kim Kardashian during Saints training camp. What an ass - and Reggie wasn't being very nice, either (27)
(Yahoo) PSA This is a test, nothing more than a test, to see if I can make this work. Thank you for your patience as I run this test (22)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting $126 million man Barry Zito shuts out Padres in dominant performance, raises his record to 6-13. Giants hoping to receive five more seasons of this quality (12)
(Yahoo) Obvious Whoever had "two" in the "number of games with the White Sox before Ken Griffey Jr. gets hurt" pool, please claim your winnings (27)

Sat August 02, 2008
(TSN) Interesting Racers in Montreal make NASCAR history by using a new fluid; rain (31)
(ESPN) Cool Roger Goodell issues Packers a de facto deadline, will act on Brett Favre's reinstatement Monday (35)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Hero Nadal overtakes Federer to become No.1 (38)
(ESPN) Hero "I don't want to be a disruption to the team and I've heard Nick is a little out there, so I'm going to stick with 17 and be happy with it" (44)
(CBC) Interesting 2000 Olympic U.S. men's relay team stripped of medals for performance-enhancing drug use. Tour de France competitors collectively turn heads and whistle nonchalantly while heading for the nearest exit (101)
(STLToday) Scary Kid dies after getting beaned while playing catch. Well, there's one more thing we can cross off the childhood list because it could potentially be dangerous to children (41)
(Daily Mail) Sad Senior Renault Formula One engineer shoots himself in the head at team headquarters after realizing he works for the French (8)
(YouTube) Stupid In a totally unplanned occurrence, Gary Coleman is ejected from his minor league appearance for using a bat with Superballs in it (35)
(THN) Spiffy NHL Hockey logo rankings, still no word on the Flyers making the list (97)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Manny didn't have to take a plane to L.A. He got a free trip on the bus his teammates threw him under (184)
(Reuters) Interesting Chinese President Hu says that China stands behind it's pledges of openness. Apparently Hu's on first, What's on second and I Don't Know is on third (29)
(UPI) Cool Jimmie Johnson wins second straight pole. Now he's got two straight poles. Awesome (32)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Welcome to the Bay State. Jason Bay scores winning run in Red Sox debut. Manny who? (44)
(Herald Net) Dumbass Sports writer suspended for plagiarism. You submitted this with the same headline (36)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Great Instructions to make your own cornhole set (21)

Fri August 01, 2008
(ESPN) Silly What do LeBron James and Josh Childress have in common? (30)
(AP) Dumbass Steve Smith dismissed from practice after punching Panther teammate Ken Lucas. Coaches shocked that a Carolina Panther actually landed a solid hit for once (21)
(Home Run Derby) Amusing Wha'choo talkin'bout, Willis? Gary Coleman to be offered Minor League Baseball contract (12)
(CNN) Obvious Michigan "most clutch" Big Televen team. If you define "most clutch" by doing many great Linda Lovelace impersonations in Pasedena (159)
(Wordpress) Asinine Adebayor to Arsenal: I never said I wanted to leave. Arsenal fans to Adebayor: we never said we wanted you to stay (10)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting NBA players continue exodus as Miami Heat's starting point guard plans to leave the team -- to sign with an Israeli pro team (23)
(NFL) Unlikely Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner "said he didn't want to talk about Favre because the Bears feel good about quarterbacks Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton." Commissioner Goodell immediately calls for drug tests on Ron Turner (24)
(Dallas News) Unlikely "Pssst, Chargers... Not happy with your current stadium in San Diego? We've got a nice, unused facility in San Antonio you might be interested in." (36)
(Yahoo) Stupid "Of the 28 sports on the Olympic schedule, nowhere will homecourt advantage be more evident than in the Peking University Gymnasium, where Chinese pride will really be at stake." Over Ping-Pong (44)
(YouTube) Scary Danny Way takes a horrific crash during X Games big air. Gets up, polishes off his gigantic steel balls and comes back to win a Silver medal (69)
(About.com) Dumbass Golfer Jay Williamson says Michelle Wie playing in PGA Tour Legends Reno-Tahoe Open is a "joke". Wie responds by beating him in first round (79)
(Yahoo) Strange Pro Bowl safety John Lynch surprises Denver Broncos by asking for his release. They surprise him back by granting it (43)
(Yahoo) Stupid St. Louis Rams to holdout RB Steven Jackson: "We sucked with you, we can suck without you" (49)
(Yahoo) Interesting What's an all-Browns team without legendary RB Jim Brown? Nothing, of course. Then again, you might want to ask his permission before including him in your video game (36)
(USA Today) Interesting Georgia starts the season as No. 1 in the USA Today coaches poll (111)
(Some Guy) Amusing Cardinals QB Matt Leinart out to shed his party boy image, will perhaps limit himself to two tarts per day (29)
(ESPN) Interesting Minnesota Twins fans get rowdy and throw baseballs and caps onto the field. Good thing it wasn't "Cartoon Anvil" night at the stadium (50)
(Major League Baseball) Dumbass Padres' SS Khalil Greene gets so tired of losing he takes it out on his season (43)
(via Kottke) Sad Only one active player remains from RBI Baseball and Tecmo Super Bowl. Sadly, it's not Bo Jackson (53)

Thu July 31, 2008
(SacBee) Cool NFL changes a few key defensive rules, including the force out and the five-yard facemask (58)
(Some Guy) Amusing Canada's best - and only - racewalker on Beijing pollution: "Other than pulling my treadmill into the garage, starting the car and hoping I come out two hours later, there isn't really a lot I can do to get ready for it" (13)
(Dallas News) Dumbass The Dolphins give Quincy Carter a tryout. Bill Parcells says, "We were so close to having a perfect season last year that we really think QC can put us over the top." When reached for comment, Carter says, "Puff puff give." (29)
(CNN) Cool Subby was unaware what a perfect 10 cougar Nadia Comeneci still is at age 46 (59)
(ESPN) Cool Cubs sweep Brewers. Book the NL Central. Done (273)
(CNN) Stupid Manny Ramirez is a Dodger. Newsflash tag took too long running out the throw (248)
(TSN) Interesting Only one big deal left in the NHL offseason as the last eligible RFA signs. Sundin still hasn't decided what to eat for breakfast. Let the wild speculation continue (36)
(Some Guy) Interesting College football rankings are out. USC is No. 1. This should end well (142)
(Daily Pennsylvanian) Interesting Philadelphia has its first pro sports championship in 25 years: Philadelphia Soul win the Arena League. Apparently it's some kind of indoor sport much like rollerball, but gayer (36)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Michael Schumacher causes accident, blames the other guy. It's almost like he never retired from Formula 1 racing (21)
(SacBee) Followup The Ron Artest Interactive Fan Experience announces limited engagement with Yao Ming (34)
(Some Cincy Guy) Interesting Ken Griffey Jr. traded to White Sox, breaks wrist signing new contract (112)
(Some Guy) Amusing The season hasn't started yet, but Dallas Cowboys have been eliminated from playoff contention. With pic of why (58)
(NewsOK) Stupid It'll will still be another month before people can even buy tickets to see The Artists Formerly Known As The Sonics (8)
(Some Guy) Cool Because auto racing isn't dangerous enough, we bring you: Rocket racing (11)
(The News & Observer (NC)) Amusing "Plays for Bulls? Check. A catcher? Check. Nearing end of career? Check. Mentors young pitching prospect? Check." Nuke Laloosh, please report to the bullpen (19)
(ESPN) Cool Will he stay or will he go? The Manny/MLB trade deadline discussion thread (572)
(LA Times) Spiffy Joe Paterno, 82, and Bobby Bowden, 79, are separated by one victory for winningest college football coach of all time, raising one simple question: Who will die on the field first? (29)
(KARE11) Sad Not to be outdone by Cubs fans, Twins crowd steals fan's wheelchair (22)
(ESPN) Followup "He would love to go back in Green Bay. But right now, it looks like he'll be the quarterback at Oak Grove High School" (31)
(PreGame.com) Scary Former New England Patriots staff writer Tom Casale decides to burn bridges. If you thought Spygate was bad, just wait until SexTapeGate (67)

Wed July 30, 2008
(ESPN) Cool Angels crush Boston "ace" Josh Beckett to complete home-and-road Sox sweep. Bring on October (52)
(ESPN) Spiffy Manny to the Marlins isn't final, talks will continue tomorrow. Sorry, sports fans (47)
(Houston Chronicle) Strange The Astros, still gearing up for a run at 4th place in the NL Central, trade for LaTroy Hawkins (32)
(Some Guy) Video Here is why Baron Davis and Steve Nash were riding around Venice Beach looking like dorks (28)
(Reuters) Interesting One armed swimmer nearly completes swimming the English Channel until someone waves at him (58)
(ESPN) Interesting Tigers trade Pudge Rodriguez to Yankees for Kyle Farnsworth. Detroit gives one collective facepalm (192)
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine Cubs fans are keeping it classy two days in a row (201)
(Financial Times) Obvious China to ████ Olympics journalists' overseas' web ████ (57)
(New York Daily News) Obvious New York Jets QB Chad Pennington fighting for starting job against player who isn't even on the roster... yet (44)
(Yahoo) Strange Yao Ming leads China to loss in Olympic warmup game against that perennial basketball powerhouse, Australia (30)
(Yahoo) Silly Ichiro Suzuki reaches 3,000-hit milestone, but only if you include his Japanese League totals. In other news, Barry Bonds relinquishes home run title to Sadaharu Oh (117)
(ESPN) Obvious Ohio State given title of most-hated college football team, Notre Dame third despite modern irrelevance (183)
(Yahoo) Amusing Angels pitcher John Lackey no-hits the Red Sox for 8-1/3 innings, manages to salvage a win out of the deal (27)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Former major league reliever Julio Mateo arrested with fake bills. Why he was hanging out with Joe Kelly, Truman Thomas, and Scott Norweed, we'll never know (33)
(NYPost) Dumbass Net makes a great catch of a foul ball fan at Yankee Stadium. Promptly gets signed for the remainder of the season (18)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Denver pizzeria offers free pizza for the world if Tampa Bay Rays win the World Series. Florida tag vacations in the Rockies (26)
(Sports by Brooks) Unlikely Truly the rarest of the MLB species: Porn-free ballplayers (20)
(AP) Interesting Houston, we have a problem child (19)
(Some Wolverine) Ironic Jim Tressel has written a book called "The Winner's Manual" (57)
(ESPN) Amusing Brewers expose Cubs' weakness on the road. Just kidding: Cubs own them at Wrigley North again (165)
(Some Slapshot Fan) Dumbass I'm gonna flash them, Joe. I am gonna flash them. I am gonna walk down that stinkin' aisle, I am gonna open this bathrobe and wiggle my junk at 'em (41)
(CBC) Spiffy 84-year-old cycles 800 km to catch a Montreal flight to Beijing Olympics; tells everyone to get off the tarmac (4)

Tue July 29, 2008
(News.com.au) Spiffy Best news all week: hottie Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice is single again. Pics in article. Subby is off to make his play, wish me luck (39)
(CBC) Followup The IOC, in an uncharacteristic moment of clarity and common sense, has cancelled the ban on Iraq's Olympic team (16)
(ESPN) Obvious NASCAR apologizes for the Brickyard fiasco. Asks teams politely to not return the tires by throwing them through their window (56)
(ESPN) Interesting Atlanta Braves trade Mark Teixeira to Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for Casey Kotchman (94)
(ESPN) Interesting Manny Being Manny: the statistical analysis (46)
(ESPN) Amusing Cardinals concede the NL Central (24)
(Yahoo) Interesting Study shows WNBA leads in sports diversity, obscurity (19)
(Rocky Mountain News) Weird Journalist covering the Olympics discovers that the baseball blog "Fire Joe Morgan" is among those websites blocked by the Chinese government. Gives a whole new meaning to "Big Red Machine" (88)
(WISN) Obvious Brett Favre makes it official: there is a fax machine in Mississippi (187)
(Sports by Brooks) Ironic Oakland A's sells root beer floats to raise money for juvenile diabetes (90)
(ESPN) Obvious The Pac-10 is by far the bravest conference, while the Big-12 and SEC are little girly cowards (123)
(LA Daily News) Obvious Nomar Garciaparra to visit his old friend, the disabled list (23)
(Deadspin) Dumbass Brady Quinn decides to put all the gay jokes and rumors behind him by wearing tights to Browns training camp (with courageous pic) (48)
(tmj4) Dumbass A Packer player (not named Favre) sits out training camp as he is disgusted, DISGUSTED by $1.75 million contract offer. Geez, that won't even pay for a decent mansion (43)
(Wordpress) Cool Paul Pierce gives Spanish interview: "Yo soy el mejor. Hedores de Kobe Bryant." (27)
(ESPN) Followup I bet Tim Donaghy gets 15 months in a PMITA prison (15)
(Yahoo) Obvious Kobe Bryant says winning gold medal at Olympics would be bigger than winning NBA championship (33)
(NYPost) PSA The Mets have sold all but one of the 49 luxury boxes at Citi Field. Some of the buyers were drunk, will be mad to realize that they got the wrong brand new stadium (23)
(Fox Sports) Obvious What MLB team made 3 of the top 5 worst trades ever? Meet the Mets, meet the Mets (73)
(Deadspin) Amusing Two Virginia football players arrested for stealing beer from the gay bar they had no idea they were hanging out at and will kick your ass if you suggest otherwise, you homo (133)
(ABC Action News) Dumbass Pissed that they're stuck with Jeff Garcia, Tampa sports writers do the only thing they know how to do: Bash Brett Favre (19)
(USA Today) Cool NBA preseason game in London sells out. Vegas shows the over/under on idiot "London Calling" references at 4.5 (12)
(Toronto Star) Obvious Bird flu virus, under-age Chinese athletes, pollution, green goo on Olympic sailing waters. Looks like Beijing is ready to welcome the world (69)
(Yahoo) Obvious Ah, the rites of summer... hot dogs, beaches, carnivals, and football players holding out for more money (12)
(ESPN) Cool Peter Gammons rip Man Ram a new one (88)
(LA Times) Unlikely Changes in ownership for Rams or Jaguars could pave the way for a team to move to Los Angeles. Either that or an LA Times writer is suffering from "Wishful Thinking Syndrome" (16)
(Some Guy) Video "We need to show off the new kits." "How about a fashion show?" "That's a terrible idea." "How about a fashion show... with interpretive dance?" "NOW you're talking" (22)
(Rocky Mountain News) Spiffy Guaranteed to make adult golfers greener than Amen Corner: 8 year-old can break 80, drives it 190, and has had 2 aces. Bonus: her dad is Peter Wang (22)
(Yahoo) Asinine James 'Lights Out' Toney and Hasim Rahman's fight should have settled things once and for all in the ring except it didn't (15)
(The Sports Network) Followup Favre, who thought about retiring and then retired and then unretired and then was going to Carolina and then was going to Tampa and then was going back to Green Bay, a no-show at practice as Rodgers takes over. The Aristocrats (54)
(TNIAAM) Asinine Your football program is enduring its worst slump in history and your basketball team misses the tournament two years in a row for the first time in decades. Do you C) Give the AD a three-year extension (29)
(bengals.com) Obvious Bengals.com: Sign major defensive player from Titans. Bengals.Fark.com: Possible season ending injury. Bengals.Curse: after two whole hours as a Bengal (38)
(Yahoo) Sad Tim Hudson probably done for season, meaning Oakland's Big 3 are now DL (season,) DL (season,) and 5.80. Billy Beane heard laughing manically in his office (26)
(Canada.com) Obvious Buffalo Bills believe playing regular season games in Toronto this season will be good for team, if only because they'll get to play in front of a home crowd that is knowledgable about football for a change (55)

Mon July 28, 2008
(NJ.com) Asinine Hold that thought: Mets in talks with Red Sox about Manny. Le sigh (41)
(PFT.com) Unlikely Plaxico Burress claims it's his knee, and not his contract, keeping him from practicing. Because he hasn't been trying to get a new contract since winning the Super Bowl for the Giants. Obvious tag decides to sit down, catch breath (19)
(Major League Baseball) Obvious Chase Utley denies having hip injury, stupid name (45)
(Major League Baseball) Obvious Braves place Chipper Jones and Tim Hudson on DL, recall two catchers, prepare to punt the 2008 season. Mark Teixeira seen buying new luggage (37)
(ESPN) Cool Kenny Cooper scores 2 goals in 3 minutes to lead FC Dallas to 4-0 win over LA Galaxy. In postgame comments, David Beckham inhales helium and says, "Besides myself and Landon, this team is complete rubbish." (24)
(Some Guy) Obvious Current Bucs starting quarterback Jeff Garcia is philosophical about Jon Gruden's flirting with Brett Favre. "He loves quarterbacks, but he likes to just date. He doesn't like to marry" (20)
(AP) Sad US gymnast Paul "The Ripped Munchkin" Hamm unable to compete in Beijing due to hand, shoulder injuries (20)
(ESPN) Dumbass Newcastle's Joey Barton is released from prison after serving 74 days for beating up a Scouse teen. Trades in his black and white jail stripes for... um... Say, those Newcastle kits look sharp now, don't they? (14)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious What to look forward to at the Beijing Olympics: Smog, steroid-laced food and now very slow Internet connections and more blocked sites (34)
(Fox Sports) Obvious NASCAR needs to step up to prevent future debacles. Allstate 400 at the brickyard was a bust (149)
(GB PG) Followup Favre: I don't have a team-issued cell phone (43)
(New York Daily News) Asinine NY sportswriter blasts Mets pitching ace Johan Santana for pitching a complete game and giving the team's overworked bullpen a rest (45)
(Kansas City) Unlikely The Kansas City Royals hire a psychologist in hopes of helping the team win. "This is a game of failure and how you deal with it" (37)
(BBC) Strange Elite athletes may fall into a coma if they accidently drink a cup of decaf (21)
(Fox Sports) Obvious Sportswriter: Turns out Joe Torre is pretty crappy when he doesn't have the Yankees to manage (38)
(CNN) Amusing When the Mets send you away to the minors, they REALLY send you away (14)

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