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Sun July 27, 2008
(Yahoo) Hero Oakland A's rookie pitcher Brad Ziegler breaks 101 year old record by going 27 scoreless innings to begin his career. John McCain held the old record (10)
(Some Facepalming Wolverine) Dumbass If you're a new football coach with a noisy recent past, how do you make a PR debacle worse? C) Use an NCAA-violating mandatory workout to rationalize it (11)
(Some Guy) Stupid Manny say he would accept any trade, even to Iraq. GM Patraeus seen stroking chin, smiling (25)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Devin Hester, your contract negotiating skills . . . are . . . RIDICULOUS (51)
(apan Today) Unlikely Kobayashi drinks Chestnut's milkshake by eating five kilos of Singaporean chicken sauté in 12 minutes. "This is like Ali-Frazier, Federer-Nadal" (15)
(Arenafootball.com) Cool Philadelphia Soul upset defending champion San Jose SaberCats to win ArenaBowl XXII, 59-56. All twelve AFL fans were on the edge of their seats (22)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing The Florida Gators are finding success. . . in Erin Andrews' bed (20)
(ESPN) Cool Brewers get to touch first place for 24 hours before remembering that they're the Brewers (21)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "Is the NFL the most unwatchable league?" No, asshat. Ever heard of ratings? Unlikely tag sets up it's DVR to record next Sundays IND @ WAS pre-season game (144)
(Gilroy Dispatch) Amusing Jeff Garcia is unfazed by the Bucs talking to Brett Favre. Just kidding, he's in California on the first weekend of training camp pouting about it (16)
(News.com.au) Amusing Beijing sets up sex determination lab to test female Olympic athletes suspected to be males. Penises (18)
(NASCAR) Spiffy NASCAR Allstate 400 from the Brickyard discussion. Johnson on the pole. Johnson (438)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Carlos Sastre all but guaranteed to become the third Spanish rider in a row to win the Tour. Tour de France surrenders (21)
(AP) Obvious Yankees undefeated since All-Star break. Book it. Done (197)
(NYPost) Followup Duke's golf coach says Andrew Giuliani is an "entitled" bully and was kicked off the golf team because his behavior sucked (51)
(Guardian.com) Weird Man U hope to become national team of India, where growing middle-class see support of a Premier League club as "must-have social accessory" (14)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Arizona Diamondbacks defy the critics, move one game over .500 for "dominance" in the NL West (13)
(ESPN) Spiffy Antonio Margarito knocks out previously unbeaten Miguel Cotto for the welterweight crown, pours himself another bowl of power punches to eat because he likes the taste (13)
(ESPN) Followup Mike Hampton pitches a complete game shutout in his return to the major leagues. Just kidding. He gave up six runs in four innings as the braves lost to the Phillies 10-9 (12)
(ESPN) Cool With a come from behind victory over the Astros, meet your co-NL Central leaders Milwaukee Brewers. Party like it's 1982 (40)
(ESPN) Cool Kyle Busch sets the season record for the number of wins in NASCAR national touring series with his 15th win of 2008 tonight at ORP. Good thing the season is half over (28)

Sat July 26, 2008
(Boston Globe) Followup Red Sox management, like everyone else, is finally fed up with Manny being Manny (76)
(Beyond the Box Score) Interesting Baseball purists outraged by the new Olympic rule changes, except for Pirates fans, who are mostly reacting with, "Wait, so there's actually a SECOND base?" (37)
(Fox Sports) Obvious USA basketball team gears up for the Olympics by beating a bunch of guys who showed up in hockey gear (18)
(Sportsline) Cool Oye Como Va. Dodgers acquire Casey Blake from Indians in exchange for Carlos Santana (21)
(PFT.com) Cool Not News: NBC offers live programing to be streamed online. News: It's NFL games. Fark: For free (37)
(MSNBC) Cool Lundberg takes the lead at the Russian Open. Yyyyyyyyeah....He's gonna, uhhhh, "need" you to uhhhh, caddy? Sunday? Yyyyyyeah...If you could just, uhhhh, play a little catch-up and go ahead and caddie, that'd be great THAAAANKS (8)
(Canada.com) Amusing Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. Cannonball (12)
(IndyStar) Followup Pillsbury Throwboy to attempt to get another ring by backing up a Manning (26)
(Some Cynical Braves Fan) Obvious With Mike Hampton slated to start today for the first time in 35 months, the Mike Hampton Injury Pool is now open. Line up and place your bets (42)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Not News: "Common sense tells us Ramirez is playing the Red Sox, and all their fans for suckers." News: This coming from the Boston Herald. Fark: 81% of readers agree (90)
(CNN) Interesting The new Yankee Stadium will continue a trend with virtually all new baseball stadiums: it will have signficantly fewer seats than the park it replaces (56)
(The Sporting Blog) Obvious The Sporting News confirms what all farkers already know by heart: SEC fans are the most insane on the planet (129)
(CNN) Interesting Yankees trade four rookies for The Professor and a Planet (43)

Fri July 25, 2008
(ChicagoSports.com) Dumbass "Call me crazy, but it's time for the Bears to trade Hester" (40)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Rush Limbaugh is interested in buying the Rams. Expect a lot more conservative playcalling in St. Louis (31)
(ESPN) Obvious Manny decides to sit out against the Yankees tonight. Sox fans' excuses begin to the right (32)
(Philly) Cool Sir Charles leaves tuition sized tip for busboy, was actually 15% of his meal bill (16)
(CBS Sports) Amusing Top 50 jerks in sports. Bonus: A writer who knows how to do a list without making it a slideshow (53)
(Some Guy) Amusing RichRod invites a group of players he calls "the apostles" over to his crib. Jesus (25)
(Daily Mail) Interesting "She found that breasts typically move up to 21 cm - or eight inches - and jiggle around in every direction while a women is running." This number corresponds to back pain among women, and severe neck injuries among men (27)
(TSN) Spiffy New use found for the greatest trophy in sport - a baptismal font (14)
(Kansas City) Spiffy Cooperstown unveils new Buck O'Neil statue and creation of Buck O'Neil Lifetime Achievement Award (23)
(WSRZ) Asinine And after alllll that...Brett Favre to report to Packers training camp (77)
(AP) Cool Cubs shore up pitching staff, call up Jeff Samardzija. Over/under on "you know, he played football at Notre Dame" references on tonight's Sportscenter is at 50. I'll take the over (71)
(Sports by Brooks) Followup Lowell Spinners' "Politically Incorrect Night" didn't happen because of one upset lady - Mother Nature (12)
(CBC) Cool MLS looking to expand further into Canada. NHL commish seen taking notes, scratching head (94)
(ESPN) Scary Managers arguing with one another. 17 ejections, one fan taken to the hospital, ejections then overturned, and a pitcher facing felony charges. Minor League baseball at its finest. (video goodness) (73)
(ESPN) Cool Mark Cuban may soon be arguing with the umpires daily at Wrigley, makes the final round of bidding for the Cubs (61)
(CBS New York) Unlikely Yankees officials get together in Florida and discuss Bonds, lying under oath, favorite color jumpsuit (212)

Thu July 24, 2008
(Some Guy) Amusing The Lowell Spinners minor league baseball team will have a "Politically Incorrect Night" to include first 250 women attending game getting Lowell Spinners potholders so that they can properly cook dinner for their husbands (29)
(Dallas News) Stupid Urban Meyer's thoughts on UGA's over the top celebration after beating Urban Meyer: "It will forever be in the mind of Urban Meyer." (79)
(Some Soccer Guy) Spiffy MLS All Star game tonight. MLS All Stars vs. West Ham United (86)
(Major League Baseball) Asinine Get your everything but peanuts here . . . Get your everything but peanuts here (69)
(New York Daily News) Amusing 25 years ago today George Brett went apeshiat (36)
(TMZ) Amusing Most American men don't consider soccer to be a macho sport . . . and this pic doesn't help (59)
(The Tennessean) Interesting Tennessee football coach Phil Fulmer issued subpoena while at SEC Media Days in Alabama. Wait. No, he wasn't. Yes, he was. No, he wasn't. Yes, he was (54)
(ESPN) Followup This time, Bartman doesn't take the bait (35)
(ESPN) Spiffy Meet the Mets. The first place New York Mets, that is (51)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting As the trade deadline nears, perennial buyer Atlanta Braves may be sellers. Mark Teixeira surrenders (16)
(Wall Street Journal) Stupid NASCAR fans still butthurt that Toyota vee-hickles are winnin' races. One actually says he would rather buy a crappy Chevy than a good Toyota (61)
(AZCentral) Amusing Looks like playing golf can add five years to your life. Duffing that tee off into the water will take 10 take years off your life, though (90)
(ESPN) Strange With Karl Malone's daughter out for the rest of the year, the Detroit Shock sign a 50-year old to replace her (22)
(BBC) Stupid The IOC welcomes the brave athletes from war-torn Iraq... no, just kidding, they banned them from the Olympics because their national Olympic committee chair was appointed, not elected (49)
(Some Guy) Interesting Cadel Evans has actually made the Tour de France watchable, primarily because of his habit of assaulting reporters (43)
(MSNBC) Stupid Oh, the Angels are laughing now, but they're already crying on the inside for not locking up K-Rod for what would have been a bargain price of $15 mil per year (32)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Sports help build character and teach you important lessons in life, such as "You're never too young to cheat to win" (21)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Fedor vs. Arlovski confirmed for October 11th in Las Vegas 4 miles from UFC headquarters (70)
(Time) Misc Barry Bonds turns 44* today. LGT "My, how he's grown" slide show (104)
(Dallas News) Obvious Big 12 pigskin ⋝ SEC pigskin (107)
(ESPN) Obvious Alfonso Soriano returns from the DL and the Cubs drop the Diamondbacks 10-6. Book it. Done (56)
(WTMJ) Interesting Report: Packers aren't dumb enough to pay for all of Brett Favre's phone calls to Deanna, mee-maw, his old acting partner Ben Stiller, Chris Mortensen... or the Vikings (40)
(Guardian.com) Followup Max Mosley wins his privacy case against the "News of the World". The paper is fined £60,000 and is to be spanked for being a very naughty tabloid (46)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy CG SObathia tosses his third straight complete game, giving the Brewers' their seventh straight win. Milwaukee just a half game behind Chicago for the NL Central lead. Brew it. Done (52)
(WFAN) Audio Happy Anniversary Pine Tar Game... listen to Phil Rizzuto call the action (39)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Cubs fan Steve Bartman offered $25K for just one autograph. Book it. Done (38)
(CNN) Interesting SEC says it will decide whether or not to start own network later this fall. When asked, ACC responded they already have their own network, which they call "ESPN" (34)
(AJC) Obvious Braves' Chipper Jones injured. No, this is not a repeat from 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, and 2001 (11)
(ESPN) Obvious Billy Wagner says he's ready to play, expects to be blowing saves as early as tonight (25)

Wed July 23, 2008
(ESPN) Strange Play for the Detroit Lions or go to Iraq? The age-old question has yet to be answered (24)
(bizjournals) Asinine Hacker Michelle Wie makes Forbes top 10 list of highest-paid female athletes, earning $1 million more than legitimate LPGA golfer Annika Sorenstam (11)
(ESPN) Obvious Tom Coughlin says the Giants will miss Jeremy Shockey's leadership . Just kidding. He said Shockey had a bad attitude and was bad for the locker room. And had bad breath. And he never picked up the check. And he kicked a puppy. Twice (19)
(CNN) Dumbass SI writer John Donovan asks "Who are the Minnesota Twins and how do they keep winning?" Yankee fans ask "Who the hell is John Donovan and how did he not notice the Twins just got swept?" (21)
(Yahoo) Amusing Cook County (IL) Commissioner Mike Quigley drafts resolution noting the 2009 Winter Classic between the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings. As for what the 10 letters that end the last 10 lines of the document spell, that was coincidence (81)
(ESPN) Interesting They zig, he's not there...they zag, he's not there...Oh, wait, Devin Hester's really not there (22)
(USA Today) Hero Sick of all the Brett Favre talk? So is NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell: Green Bay has until Sunday to trade him or GTFO (48)
(USA Today) Sad Sports highlight reels will soon be a lot shorter and boring as scientists discovered a way to detect HGH through urine tests (35)
(Some Guy) Interesting Toyota's success at making cars is now spilling over to the track. NASCAR wants them to level the playing field for the Big Three (28)
(Baltimore Sun) Hero The Orioles have a hard working, speedy, 24 year old veteran who is quickly turning into a fan favorite. Unfortunately he's a groundskeeper (22)
(ESPN) Dumbass In fairness to Favre, it should be mentioned that any phone calls he made to the Vikings were made in a gunslinging fashion, and through the entire conversation, he looked like a kid out there, just having fun (87)
(ESPN) Obvious NBA's ridiculous free agency rules force a young player to choose between playing in Atlanta or Athens. Apparently, this isn't a difficult decision (33)
(Gainesville Sun) Florida Ordinary: Gators get awesome football recruit. Extraordinary: He's 15 (24)
(The Tennessean) Obvious Tennessee Titans discover an amazing new way to practice. Apparently, if you put lights on the practice field, you can practice at night (21)
(Deadspin) Dumbass Yankees' idiotic "Roll Call" finally causes an error (101)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Alexander Ovechkin admits in an interview that he gave police officer 10 Capitals tickets after he was let off for doing three times the speed limit. You're doing it wrong (62)
(Kansas City) Obvious University of Kansas football players wish KU fans would stop wearing t-shirts such as "Our Coach is Phat" and "Our Coach Beat Anorexia" because it could hurt Mark Mangino's feelings (55)
(WTMJ) Ironic Ah, America's national pastime. A team called the Brewers who's sponsored by a South African-owned beer company takes the NL wildcard lead over a team owned by a Belgian beer conglomerate (84)
(ESPN) Cool How do you know when the WNBA has officially arrived? When the players get into a brawl on a Tuesday night in Detroit. Video catfight goodness (62)
(Sporting News) Amusing Mets get started on their collapse to the Phillies a little early this year (64)
(LA Times) Sad Jerome Holtzman, Hall of Fame member and dean of American baseball writers, takes his place in the big pressbox in the sky (13)

Tue July 22, 2008
(Deadspin) Stupid Florida QB Tim Tebow declines nomination for Playboy's All-American team due to his religious beliefs. Article includes pic of Tebow obviously taken at Bible camp (65)
(ESPN) Spiffy D'backs acquire Rauch to assemble tallest pitching staff in majors (38)
(Nola.com) Strange Media slapfights, disgruntled superstars and a QB who is in the NFL by being the undetectably retarded younger brother of a good QB. How exactly did the Giants win the Super Bowl again? (102)
(CBS New York) Asinine Yankee Stadium lifts ban on sunscreen on heels of really recent, totally unheard-of idea that prolonged exposure to the sun gives you cancer (51)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool When he's not losing it at the blackjack tables, Charles Barkley is spending his dough on college tuitions for busboys (25)
(Some Steeler Fan) Amusing After 34 years, someone finally notices that the final score on the Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl IX championship ring is wrong (307)
(Some Guy) Stupid Website promoting tourism in America wants you to check out an Arena football team that no longer exists (23)
(WRAL) Interesting Durham Athletic Park, which gained national prominence with the movie "Bull Durham," follows the lead of Susan Sarandon (25)
(Some Guy) Video Greg Oden audition to host the ESPYs. "I'm kind of a big deal... people know me" (29)
(SFGate) Spiffy Randy Johnson goes 13-0 lifetime against Chicago Cubs. Book it. Done (61)
(Yahoo) Spiffy And you thought you had a bad Monday: Royals pitcher Jimmy Gobble stuffs the strike zone but gets carved up for 10 runs by Detroit hitters, who had already mashed their way to seven-run lead, so it's all gravy. Turkey (18)
(The Sun) Weird Golf legend Nick Faldo has hired the best possible iron to run to the hills at the Ryder cup: Iron Maiden's Nicko McBrain, hired as part of his backroom staff to motivate the team. Up the irons (18)

Mon July 21, 2008
(BBC) Obvious "I swear to God, we're only two generations from North American kids being born with castors on their feet" (48)
(ESPN) Asinine After being DQ'd for a rules violation against the women of the LPGA last week, Wie ready to tee it up against the men of the PGA this week. Hell, she's earned it, right? Right? (59)
(Some Guy) Obvious Sportswriter: Danica Patrick is a whiny jerk who gets a free ride because she is a hot chick (96)
(Wordpress) Obvious Statistical analysis indicates New Jersey Nets are preparing to tank the next two seasons in order to sign LeBron James in 2010 (26)
(ESPN) Amusing Titletown USA: Ann Arbor. Yes, you read that right. Stop laughing. No, seriously guys, Ann Arbor (163)
(Fox Sports) Cool After proving they can win without him, Giants cut dead weight (85)
(Deadspin) Obvious In a NYT op-ed, Buzz Bissinger writes about a trip to the College World Series that ended with him getting in a shoving match with security that left him bloody and in handcuffs. No word on how he plans to blame this on bloggers (24)
(Canoe) Amusing Ravens sign replacement QB Shane Falco (67)
(New York Daily News) Sad Good: The Hudson River is now clean enough to suport jellyfish. Bad: NYC Triathlon swimmers also like to swim in the Hudson River (44)
(ESPN) Cool Brewers trade for Ray Durham. Cubs expected to follow up by trading for an even older, more injury prone player (69)
(Barstool Sports.com) Strange How do NBAers spend the offseason? Well, for Baron Davis and Steve Nash, it involves riding a tandem bicycle near Santa Moncia pier, dressed like nerds (50)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Even though the Yankees swept the A's this weekend, NY sports media not satisfied because the Yankees didn't dominate. Won-loss record surrenders (42)
(FanHouse) Amusing Bengals QB Carson Palmer has nice things to say about college football fans in Ohio. Just kidding, he hates OSU and their fans, raves like a lunatic (115)
(Major League Baseball) Cool If you tuned out the Mets due to their early season losing streak, it would amaze you now that they are tied for first place (35)
(MSNBC) Obvious Lo, how the mighty have fallen. Angels sweep Boston for first time in seven years (93)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Kerry Wood, disabled list for the 12th time in his career, book it, almost done (45)

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