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Sun June 29, 2008
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Iraqi Paralympic Team Coach: "As a country that participated in many wars, we have many disabled people. Our Paralympic team is better than our Olympic team" (1)
(ESPN) Obvious Juan Pablo Montoya spins out Kyle Busch during caution lap, has no problem telling reporter after race that he did it on purpose (6)
(ESPN) Spiffy Worst-to-first Tampa Bay Rays have best record in the league. Repent, for the end is near (12)
(Denver Post) Dumbass Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall is building an arrest record that makes Pac-Man look like a choir boy (10)
(CNN) Sad The dying art of the knuckleball (35)
(ESPN) Cool Spain is the king of Europe again (27)
(AFP) Amusing Just how popular is soccer in Europe? Even more powerful than porn. Here comes the evidence (24)
(Some Germany Fan) Spiffy Germany hopes to swoop in and divebomb Spain. Guernica in 1937? No, it's the discussion thread for the final match of Euro 2008. Go be American somewhere else tonight (509)
(ESPN) Followup Chris Evert-Lloyd-Mills-Norman (18)
(ESPN) Cool Pound-for-pound king Manny Pacquiao moves up and knocks out lightweight champ David Diaz in the ninth round, strengthening talks of a 147-pound match with Oscar De La Hoya (18)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Euro 2012 tournament to be expanded from 16 to 24, helping chances of England and seven other lesser European teams to qualify (46)
(St. Petersburg Times) Obvious Warren Sapp candidly discusses his NFL career. On time with the Oakland Raiders: "As dark as a black hole. Stuff went on in that organization that shouldn't go on in sports" (36)
(AP) Misc The new mens 100 meter dash world record holder is Gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In womens 100 meter dash news, the Hooker didn't make the team (15)
(Yahoo) Strange Not news: Dodgers beat Angels, 1-0. News: Dodgers fail to get a hit (44)

Sat June 28, 2008
(Some Guy) Video Kerry Wood sayshiato the FOX viewing audience the only way he know how, by flipping them off (27)
(PFT.com) Obvious Mike Vanderjagt shows the CFL what a real kicker can do - by missing his first 3 FG attempts (9)
(CNN) Sad "Gay/Love Era" in Memphis lasts approximately one day as Grizzlies trade Kevin Love to Timberwolves (20)
(AP) Cool Venus Williams launches 127 mph serve at Wimbleton. You couldn't hit it (40)
(Some Depressed Season Ticket Holder) Sad Georgia mascot Uga VI passes away In Savannah. There is no Dog (187)
(Yahoo) Dumbass "Al Davis spent big dollars this offseason trying to fix the woeful Raiders but now wonders if that was the smart approach." Obvious tag surrenders (49)
(Some Braves Blogger) Dumbass In a moment of weakness, a Braves blogger looking for a competitive edge says the Braves should inject Barry Bonds into their lineup. Why? He's cheap, effective and a quick fix. He'd be the ultimate shot in the arm (42)
(AP) Obvious With their tenth straight triumph, the Minnesota Twins have learned firsthand what the rest of the American League has learned - interleague play rocks out with its socks out (30)
(NPR) Strange Today's two words that don't belong togther, "Competitive yoga" (15)
(Major League Baseball) Obvious Welcome to the NL West, where not a single team is over .500 and the first-place team is 5 games out in the wildcard race (39)
(CNN) Interesting 10 reasons the AL embarasses the NL year after year after year after year after year (55)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Carlos Delgado sets New York Mets team record with nine RBIs in 15-6 rout of New York Yankees (19)

Fri June 27, 2008
(Houston Chronicle) Weird Athletes using Viagra to enhance their performance. Good for the pole vault, javelin, fencing, clean-and-jerk, and watching women's beach volleyball. Not so good for luge, bobsled, wrestling, hurdles, and leapfrog (25)
(ESPN) Followup Everybody is afforded equal justice in the eyes of the law. Of course, Buffalo Bills RB Marshawn Lynch can afford more justice than the average person (15)
(Telegraph) Obvious "How I hate the Beautiful Game. I hate its cry-baby players and its joyless managers and its blokish supporters. I hate its imbecilic chanting and its self-righteous saloon expertise" (54)
(Pittsburgh Live.com) Interesting The Yankees are bad for baseball, you say? Sorry, can't hear your answer over the sound of ringing cash registers (55)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting Let's just call this what it is: Cubs-Sox flamewar begins here (260)
(Yahoo) Amusing Miami Dolphins RB Ricky Williams predicts four more years of successful production. In other words, he's still high as a kite on drugs (16)
(TSN) Spiffy Jaromir Jagr gets huge contract offer to play in Russia. Russian Mafia licking chops at potential gambling income spike (43)
(Home Ruun Derby) Amusing Even five-year olds can hit .300 against Chicago Cubs' pitcher Jon Lieber (71)
(MSNBC) Obvious Three female Bulgarian weightlifters withdrawn from Beijing Olympics after testers notice they have grown penises (31)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Bad: Losing your ride with the most dominant team in NASCAR. Worse: Getting replaced by somebody who's partially retired (61)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy Alla Kudryavtseva, the low-ranked player who beat Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon yesterday: "It's very pleasant to beat Maria . . . I don't like her outfit." (14)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass ATP board member says women tennis players are all "sexpots and biatches". Sounds like somebody got turned down for a date (9)
(ESPN) Amusing Bill Simmons's draft diary: "Damn the Blazers. Damn them to hell. They are working the rest of the league like a speedbag." (57)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Maria Sharapova grunts louder than a lawn mower, but quieter than a snow mobile (22)
(Major League Baseball) Obvious Minnesota Twin adopts wide stance, starts scoring more (19)
(CBS Sports) Interesting The top 50 active NFL players. Winning Super Bowl QB Eli Manning doesn't make the cut, but his brother's #2, so he's got that going for him (98)

Thu June 26, 2008
(AP) Spiffy Will the best baseball team in Florida please step forward. Not so fast there, Marlins (26)
(NHL) Spiffy The NHL raises salary cap to $56.7 million per team. Holy crap, that's almost a million dollars per fan (90)
(Boston Globe) Stupid After erasing 86 years of futility, Red Sox fans find something new to whine about: pink hats (74)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Shaq's offcolor rap about Kobe caused sales of his six albums to skyrocket; Just kidding, the half-dozen releases have sold a total of 20 copies year-to-date (20)
(London Times) Spiffy Mexican Lucha libre wrestling is coming to London (28)
(ESPN) Interesting The worst lottery picks in NBA Draft history (32)
(NBA) Cool Your official NBA Draft thread. Duke sucks (378)
(Some Guy) Silly John Daly uses partner Kid Rock's beer can as tee for the seventh hole (w/ video) (13)
(The New York Times) Cool Ryne Sandberg signs whopping deal with the Cubs worth $7.1 million per season, becoming the highest paid baseball player in history. Time to replace 1908 with 1992 in those record books (40)
(National Post) Cool CFL kicks off its 50th season tonight. Are you ready for some football? Some 12-aside, rouge-scoring, Canadian-rules football on a 110-yard field like God intended football to be played? YEEAAHHHHH (54)
(AP) Dumbass When a manager and an umpire bump into each other, it's usually the manager who gets suspended. Not this time (22)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Evidently, England has never been good enough to win a World Cup: former FIFA president claims 1966 World Cup win was fixed (24)
(Yahoo) Amusing Michelle Wie shoots a quintuple-bogey 9 on the ninth hole at U.S. Women's Open. So, how's that whole "teenage phenom" thing working out for you? (58)
(Yahoo) Interesting Sharapova loses in straight sets to 85th ranked player. The good news is, she probably will get back to those hot little tennis shorts in future matches, because the man-pants weren't working (for anyone) (20)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy He's trying to keep it under wraps, but it's obvious Lance Armstrong is still having a ball with Kate Hudson (18)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing Todd Jones recreates Magglio Ordonez' walkoff home run in the 2006 ALCS (23)
(Daily Mail) Obvious British TV broadcasters may sue UEFA after storms knocked out satellite feed of Euro 2008 coverage, denying viewers the chance to see yet another thrilling 90 minutes of scoreless play (52)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Stupid Unexplained lawsuit against Ocho-Cinco and comedy club settled. That's some mighty fine journalism, Lou (11)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Why Michael Beasley is going to fall in the NBA Draft. [Whatever team picks him]'s fans start mass facepalm (68)
(Some Euro Guy) Spiffy The Spanish hope to tapa couple balls into Russia's goal, while the Russians want to give the Spaniards an Arshavin and a Semak down. It's your Euro 2008 second semi-final discussion thread (179)
(Yahoo) Interesting Draft picks? The Denver Nuggets don't need no stinkin' draft picks (14)
(CNN) Spiffy Yankees 10, Pirates 0. Joba'owned (121)
(The Sun) Amusing Russian footballers promised two girls for every goal they score (21)
(ESPN) Followup It appears that the Barry Bonds bobble-syringe night promotion won't be coming to a minor league park near you (12)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup Dallas Cowboys football fans are in for a heartbreak season. In true spoiler fashion, Jessica Simpson aka The Jinx told the world yesterday that she will be attending all of Romo's games (75)
(Telegraph) Sad He once lost £1 million in one day (and was mugged for £70,000) more in the parking lot: Britain's greatest bookie, "Fearless Freddie," goes to the big totalizer board in the sky (16)
(ESPN) Followup Curt Schilling annouces he may pitch next season, propelling Wendy's stock to an all-time high (14)
(Yahoo) Stupid Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon does what Phillies fans had wanted to do for years... wrestle GM Ed Wade to the ground by the neck (45)

Wed June 25, 2008
(ESPN) Cool Fresno State becomes lowest seeded team in NCAA history to win national championship. That's any sport, not just baseball (145)
(CNN) Asinine If you haven't cancelled HBO yet, here's your reason: a new documentary will focus on the most annoying rivalry in sports, Duke vs. North Carolina (42)
(FanHouse) Interesting Toronto Raptors acquire Jermaine O'Neal for T.J. Ford and something called a "Rasho Nesterovic" (33)
(Free Press) Amusing Baseball player placed on DL after moving a pillow. Surprisingly, it was not a Cubs pitcher (19)
(ESPN) Spiffy Michael Ballick leads Germany towards European domination, you know who else led Germany to European domination? (31)
(Sports by Brooks) Followup Javon Walker could have been at fundraiser for fallen ex-teammate instead of being beaten in Vegas (14)
(Major League Baseball) Ironic Umpire puffs out chest in attempt to mate with Mets centerfielder and manager. (R)ejections ensue (29)
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine White Sox pitcher's father misses son's career milestone because of "prohibitive" airfare. Guess no one told him about son's $56 million contract (18)
(CNN) Amusing Djokovic calls out Federer: "Pack a lunch Rog, 'cos I'm gonna be here all day, Bubba." All day, watching from the stands after losing in straight sets. What a Djoke (8)
(ESPN) Obvious European boxing icon Joe "The Busy Slapper" Calzaghe fires his manager for even mentioning the name Kelly Pavlik, opts to fight another geriatric he was scared of 10 years ago. If ducking were a crime, he'd be on death row (18)
(AJC) Spiffy A championship game match up that would make Michael Vick proud, it's Bulldogs vs Bulldogs in a fight to the death for the CWS Championship tonight. Pitching optional (203)
(Free Press) Unlikely NHL scout, hiding behind anonymity, says Red Wings' penchant for finding superstars overseas in the late rounds of draft "is all dumb luck" (52)
(Pravda) Stupid Russians begin to name their babies after Dutch football coach Guus Hiddink (8)
(ESPN) Dumbass How many times can Bill Simmons mention that the Celtics won the championship in an article that barely has anything to do with them? Let's find out (66)
(Reuters) Dumbass PETA outraged at pigeons' treatment at Wimbledon, vows to send crazy naked chics on the court in retaliation (38)
(LA Times) Followup Dear Retief: I just had surgery for the knee injury that I was faking during the US Open and I'll be better than ever next year. Sincerely, Tiger (34)
(Some Guy) Amusing This week's sign of the Apocalypse: Sports teams are paying fans as much as $2,000 to attend MLB, NHL and NBA games and cheer the entire time (20)
(USA Today) Weird God won't allow Venus and Serena Williams to vote for Obama (78)
(Hartford Courant) Weird "Um, hello? Is this Blue Jays general manager J.P. Ricciardi? This is Adam Dunn. Is your refrigerator running?" (16)
(Some Guy) Amusing The top 30 porn names in major league baseball (58)
(CBS Miami) Dumbass Good news Heat fans, the team may trade to get No. 1 pick... in exchange for Dwayne Wade. Dumbass tag shoots, scores (41)
(Some Young Turk) Spiffy Fourteen Turks go up against 23 Germans in a pitched 90-minute battle. A typical Friday night in Berlin? Nope, it's your Euro 2008 semi-final discussion thread (460)
(Sports by Brooks) Strange Would Ron Artest be willing to take a paycut to play for an NBA contender? "Not in a million years" (18)
(Fox News) Dumbass And today's former NBA star in court for spousal abuse is Dennis Rodman (13)
(AZCentral) Followup Sheriff Joe Arpaio wants Shaq's badges back after hearing his rap performance dissing Kobe. "Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they're fired. I don't condone this type of racial conduct" (57)
(ESPN) Cool Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts, who is about 5'8" in cleats, gets his 1000th career hit in the Orioles' first game at Wrigley (39)
(ESPN) Amusing The Yankees exact revenge on their first trip to Pittsburgh since losing the 1960 World Series. Haha, just kidding. They gave up 19 hits in a 12-5 loss (34)
(LiveLeak) Video Bear witness to the sneakiest goal in the history of football (85)
(Major League Baseball) Scary Umpire hit in head by broken maple bat. Leaves game after head releases syrup (41)
(Telegraph) Obvious Despite being bounced out of Euro 2008 by Spain, Italian fans still think they have best team in the world, a delusion that previously only afflicted Toronto Maple Leaf fans (19)

Tue June 24, 2008
(USA Today) Followup Giants say goodbye to the Round Mound of Touchdown (55)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Kobe stays at same Cabo vacation villa that Tony Romo & Jessica Simpson were spotted at; House guestbook also includes entries from Rocco Mediate, the 1993 Houston Oilers and the entire city of Chicago (26)
(ESPN) Cool Official Game 2 College World Series thread - It's the Dogs and Dawgs in a dog-eat-dog dogfight. Your dog wants clarification (112)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Terry Bradshaw tells Dan Patrick he used steroids in 1970's. Obviously not for his hair (84)
(The Sun) Obvious Real Madrid decided last night that they will not pay 80 million for Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. Upon hearing the news Ronaldo fell to the ground screaming and clutched his ankle (36)
(NYPost) Interesting Looking to further corner the market on overpaid, past-their-prime superstars, New York Rangers reportedly close to signing Mats Sundin (65)
(YouTube) Amusing Shaq disses Kobe in an impromptu freestyle in NYC (120)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Spiffy Players chosen for the U.S. Men's Olympic Basketball Team, now the whole world can decide who is the best at not passing the ball (103)
(The Sun) Sad Good news: Faptastic Maria Sharapova playing at Wimbledon. Bad news: Wearing shorts that look like they were made for men. The Sun is there (36)
(Yahoo) Sad Felix Hernandez becomes first AL pitcher in 37 years to hit a grand slam, celebrates by spraining his ankle three innings later (32)

Mon June 23, 2008
(USA Today) Cool All 30 MLB teams will wear special Stars and Stripes baseball hats on 7/4 and 9/11. America, f*ck yeah (98)
(CNN) Dumbass Docs say Curt Schilling's shoulder surgery was a success. Curt is expected to be blogging and stating his case for the Hall Of Fame in weeks (57)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool Michael Strahan to join Fox as NFL studio analyst, takes one step closer to having his own version of "The Chevy Chase Show" (37)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Atlanta's Mark Teixeira confuses Sunday's game with homerun derby and makes history (50)
(Deadspin) Obvious Deadspin editor and his family treated in typical Masshole fashion on a visit to Fenway (59)
(Yahoo) Amusing "You know how I know your league sucks? When a player dunks, it's front-page news" (101)
(Yahoo) Spiffy NFL Network in merger talks with ESPN to broaden audience from 23 households to 100 million (60)
(Sports by Brooks) Spiffy St. Louis Cardinals now have their very own motorized cooler for bullpen use; If only they can keep the keys away from Tony LaRussa (46)
(ESPN) Followup Big Brown may have lost the Belmont because of a loose shoe, photos show (40)
(Some Stat Geek) Amusing Worst NFL quarterbacks of all time, as determined by advanced statistics. "If you had the choice of getting Joey Harrington for 2,538 attempts, or Roger Goodell for 9 attempts you would certainly choose Goodell" (80)
(ESPN) Amusing Tampa Bay Lightning not satisfied with last place and the #1 draft pick so they decide to add Barry Melrose as coach to ensure maximum suck (32)
(Deadspin) Dumbass Imus is at it again, declaring that all of Pacman Jones' law breaking is due to him being black (66)
(The Earth Times) Interesting Austria's postal service plans to set new world record by printing stamps honoring Turkey mere hours after they win the Euro 2008 championship (14)
(AP) Interesting You will be able to not watch the Olympics on your computer in addition to not watching them on your television (33)
(Sports by Brooks) Unlikely Birmingham mayor announces the city wants to host the Olympics. In other news, we now know Jeff Foxworthy's opening bit for his next comedy album (18)
(YouTube) Hero Another classic George Carlin bit: Baseball and Football. RIP, Mr. Carlin (61)
(ESPN) Amusing Cubs sweep White Sox. Book it. Done (431)
(Yahoo) Interesting TOSU of Division I College Baseball is beaten before they can lose a third consecutive championship series. It's Bulldogs vs. Bulldogs for all the marbles (46)

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