Wizard of Oz shuts out the Predators sending the Red Wings to the second round of the playoffs	(17)
(TSN)		Will, power and a little will power power Will Power to powerful Champ Car win	(9)
		Air Jordan collection stolen from home, nothing else was taken. It's gotta be the shoes	(6)
(Some Pucker)		This pretty much sums up the state of hockey in America: NHL playoff game bumped off air in upstate New York to air a Victoria Principal informercial for makeup	(28)
		Max Mosley says his wife "not best pleased" and his sons "embarrassed" about his Nazi sex orgy adding that it's all OK because the FIA has saved thousands of lives on the road. Clearly doesn't get it	(11)
		The Denver Nuggets were hoping someone would get hot and catch fire for today's game against the Lakers. Just not the team bus	(6)
		NBA Playoffs Thread, Day 2: Can the Nuggets/Hawks/Sixers make things interesting?	(92)
		Nascar Nationwide Series Corona Mexico 200 discussion thread. Arriba	(30)
(TSN)		Blue Jays release The Big Hurt after he got his feelings hurt since he would have hurt the club in another long, hurting season. The Jays are the new Yankees	(51)
(Some Hockey Farker)		Sunday's NHL Playoffs: three more thrilling, exciting, nailbiting, edge-of-your-seat dramatic games	(576)
		Cubs right fielder Kosuke Fukudome on his fans in the bleachers: ''Basically, all of the signs have mistakes in the translations, so they don't make much sense.''	(21)
		New York Mets rip Phillies fans for cheering when it appeared that Jose Reyes had suffered a head injury. Michael Irvin, Santa Claus nod in agreement	(38)
		News: Predators captain Jason Arnott may miss game 6 of Preds/Wings series after receiving vicious hit. Fark: From his own teammate in post-goal celebration	(22)
		Canuck takes UFC 83. Who knew they could fight?	(46)
		Crying? There's no crying in racing. Danica Patrick in victory lane in Japan (video)	(32)
		Is Dirk Nowitzki a flopper?	(44)
		Hitler reacts to the Canucks missing the playoffs	(35)
		Bruins hold on to game 7 against Montreal. What kind of deal with the devil did Boston make to get their sports teams winning again?	(55)
		Danica does it, is first female to win in Indy car competition	(354)

(mlb.com)		Former major leaguer John Marzano dies at 45 in Philadelphia	(19)
		Rapper Soulja Boy says that he feels "disrespected" by Lebron James using his name to refer to an opponent derivisely, may have to superman dat ho	(56)
(Faceoffcircle.net)		Martin doesn't shake Sean's hand, so Sean totally calls Martin a fatso. It's not 4th grade, it's the end of an NHL Playoff series	(71)
(NBA.com)		Saturday NBA playoffs thread	(351)
		Dozens of fans nationwide gather for another day of playoff hockey	(556)
		Iglesias says Kournikova keeps rebuffing marriage proposals. Subby knows exactly how he feels	(25)
		Mike Hampton is a bad influence on Tom Glavine	(11)
(Some Guy)		The most insane dunk you will see in the next 34 minutes	(101)

(Sportsline)		Isiah Thomas officially fired as coach of the Knicks, will remain with the organization in a lesser capacity. Just remember that when you see how clean the floors are in the 400 sections	(34)
		ESPN analyst explains why Utah Jazz fans get so rowdy at games: "They’re Mormon. And they’re in Salt Lake. And there’s nothing else there."	(24)
(CBS Sportsline)		NBA owners approve Seattle Supersonics' move to Oklahoma City	(58)
		Drug dealer claims he was an expert at ripping off Tennessee Titans in marijuana purchases; His sales dried up in 2005, the same year Pacman Jones joined the club	(15)
		"If he's not traded, it's going to be a problem."	(30)
		By declaring for the NBA draft, Derrick Rose will live a lavish lifestyle, fulfill his professional dreams, take care of his family for life, and avoid beat downs from Memphis Tiger football players in disputes over girls	(7)
(Some Guy)		David Beckham's ex personal assistant will go on TV to discuss the alleged affair she had with him. "In a way they should be glad it happened - I think their marriage is stronger than ever."	(15)
(Some Guy)		Beckham's kid gives the Camera-man the finger. Fark: he's only three	(22)
		Apparently unable to locate a single bipedal form in South Florida containing feminine characteristics, Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade reportedly dating Star Jones	(48)
		A-Rod left Bobby Abreu hanging after he scored. Tells him to not get upset, that's just how it goes, he don't love them hoes	(30)
		Some sports teams are named after animals. Others are named after themes of local interest. Then there's the Indian Premier Cricket League, where teams are named after brands of liquor, or talking cars	(57)
		Boston Globe searches for the answers as to why Kenyans have won the Boston Marathon each year since 1986	(161)
		NHL Playoff Discussion Thread: 3 games today	(825)
		Reds announcer Marty Brennaman rips Cubs fans on air for being careless with their balls	(117)
		Today's made for Fark headline: Bolden boning up for pep talk to US women athletes	(7)
		Man United resigns Ferdinand. Yay. Man United resigns Carrick. Right on. Man United resigns Brown. WTF?	(19)
		Recovering drug addicts given tickets to watch Newcastle United matches, which is one of the reasons why many people in Newcastle take drugs to begin with	(5)
		A.J. Pierzynski only threw out 16 percent of basestealers last season. So surely a sportswriter can steal second base on him, right? (some profanity)	(51)
		The Colorado Rockies beat the San Diego Padres 2-1... in 22 innings	(137)
		Top 50 busts in NFL history. This is totally uncool - get OFF THEIR BACKS	(85)
		Jets QB Clemens teary-eyed after Pope blesses daughter. Jets fans unimpressed, since they cry every year about this time	(11)

		Aborted ESPN interview may have helped drag two more years out of Miguel Tejada (w/video goodness)	(17)
(Sportsline)		Dear Abby: My Love has gone away. Whatever shall I do? Signed, Loveless in Westwood	(11)
		Hockey Night in Canada plans to show Montreal Canadiens games in prime time next year in hopes of showing Toronto fans what a professional hockey team looks like	(27)
		HS baseball game final score lowered from 66-0 to 9-0 to protect the feelings of their precious little snowflakes	(64)
(NHL)		One down, seven to go (NHL playoff discussion thread)	(806)
		Red Wings send the old man back to his rocking chair and will start the Wizard of Oz in goal for Game 5	(53)
		Dolphins getting defensive with first pick in NFL draft after Freudian slip by Miami GM in front of media? (with audio)	(21)
		Miguel Tejada unburdens his conscience by admitting that he's 33, not 31. Lying about steroid use still not much of a burden, though	(21)
		Packers to retire Brett Favre's No. 4, which will be a problem when he returns in Week 6	(15)
		Boston Red Sox jersey that was buried in concrete at new Yankee Stadium, only to be dug up, reaches its inevitable destination -- eBay	(17)
		Big Ten decides to schedule more reasonable football opposition after its epic failures in 2007. Girl Scout Troop No. 4872 and St. Mary's School for the Disabled on standby, like their chances	(46)
(Sportsline)		Roski intends to get Los Angeles another team to loose	(48)
		Cleveland Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia says he "can't command both sides of the plate." With an 0-3 record and a 13.50 ERA, it seems like he can't command *any* side of the plate	(32)
		Milwaukee Bucks coach banished from Isle of Impossible Jobs, leaving behind Royals manager, Duke football coach and NHL commissioner	(12)
(Some Guy)		Chiefs brilliant recipe for rebuilding: Trade their 26-year-old, NFL-leading sack leader for draft picks, a rusted 1962 VW Beetle, and a sack of magic beans	(36)
		You soon won't have Isiah Thomas to kick around any longer	(26)
		Liverpool are already selling tickets to the Champions League final. Even though they haven't gotten past the semi-final	(30)
		Soriano who?	(35)
(Some Guy)		What embarassing picture of Matt Leinart can we find today? Oh, here's one	(91)
(Some Guy)		Alabama's Nick Saban goes off on a reporter who asks about the Crimson Tide having too many players on scholarship	(44)
		Yankees one-up Red Sox, bury Bernie Williams in new stadium concrete	(20)
		His heart is breaking, his shoulder aching, and rusty knees all dull and sore / Steve McNair will lead the Ravens nevermore	(42)
		Why Mickey Mantle's legendary home run -- hit with a bat borrowed from a teammate named Babe -- probably didn't actually travel anything close to 565 feet	(44)
(Some Guy)		Ottawa Senators now available to caddy for Leafs as Penguins sweep series 4-0	(73)
		"Carmelo Anthony is not only sorry, he is truly sorry, a greater degree than plain sorry and sorrier now than he was the last time. And the time before that"	(26)
		The last time the New York Yankees scored this many runs against the Red Sox at Yankee Stadium, Mickey Mantle homered for New York and Ted Williams went deep for Boston	(58)
		Guess which MLB player defended Barry Bonds, played the race card, and called his own sport boring. Hint: He once laughed at a 10-year-old kid who was injured playing football against his son	(77)
		With a pre-game introduction like this, no wonder the Ottawa Senators got swept (with video badness)	(21)
		Professional sports cheerleading takes on cricket. I've got a sticky wicket	(10)
		Don't wear a jersey and 25 other sports rules for men	(103)

		After missing the playoffs yet again, the Carolina Hurricanes decided to punish themselves by setting $7.6 million on fire	(25)
		Soriano injured after needlessly hopping to catch a fly ball. Lou Piniella and thousands of fantasy owners are unimpressed	(21)
		The worst free-agent deals ever	(85)
(Some Guy)		Stevens hit on Kozlov in the '95 Stanley Cup Finals voted best hit ever	(70)
		Carmelo Anthony's level of impairment after he was stopped by police in Denver was described as "extreme" by investigating officers	(23)
		The Colorado Avalanche defeat the Minnesota Goon, 5-1	(54)
		An interview showing the softer side of Herschel Walker. And the darker. Also the crazy one. And the hyper-competitive Herschel. Not to mention the psychotic rampaging side	(14)
(NY Daily News)		One day after the "Sean Avery Rule" is announced, Sean Avery practices face guarding a TV camera with a single finger extended	(71)
		The rumors of John Daly giving birth during a brief hospital stay are highly exaggerated	(9)
		Wednesday NHL playoff discussion	(762)
(Some Guy)		Reynolds and ESPN settle lawsuit	(22)
		Arizona Cardinals DT Gabe Watson suffers broken kneecap when he slips and falls on treadmill	(22)
		Pete Carroll names Mark Sanchez the starting QB for USC. Mark expected to earn his nickname the first time he is tackled in the mud	(20)
		Dusty Baker celebrates his return to Wrigley Field by doing what he always did best -- losing	(51)
		New York Mets reliever Duaner Sanchez finally returns from the 630-day disabled list	(26)
(Some Guy)		China unveils "Bird's Nest" stadium for Olympics, boasting 91,000 seats and a state-of-the-art execution room in the basement	(25)
		Like a sorority girl on GHB, the Indians collapse again and hand the Red Sox another come-from-behind victory	(27)
(SportsWrap)		How do we add even more hysteria to the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry? Call Steven Spielberg	(121)
(Some Guy)		Madden 2009 lets you control the touchdown celebration. No word on marketing tie-ins with Sharpie or Nokia	(53)
(Toronto Sun)		Canadian boxing club only admits females... and shemales. It's a porno just waiting to be made	(10)
		Preview of the 10 best NFL regular season games this season. Strangely missing is Brett Favre's return to the Packers circa Week 5, 7, 12 or perhaps 2	(53)
(www.IHT.com)		Greek Olympic weightlifting team blames tainted Chinese diet supplements for failed drug tests. In other news, lead is a performance-enhancing drug	(5)
		Australian Olympians were fed chocolate muffins tainted with paper clips. Investigators plan to leave no scone unturned	(7)
		Tommy Lasorda can't get his stories straight about two meetings: A lesbian porn-viewing party with a hooker and gaining an audience with Pope John Paul I in the summer of '78 (when he was managing the Dodgers)	(8)
(the Kansas Citian)		Minor league baseball teams decide to welcome Michael Vick to the Kansas City neighborhood with a special promotional night. Prison stripes vs. orange jumpsuits will grace the field	(15)
		That sound you just heard was every other PGA tour golfer breathing a sigh of relief	(30)

		First pitch ceremony at Yankees game to be done from space, probably to honor NASA escaping the gravitational suck from Earth caused by the Yankees	(23)
		Tuesday NHL Playoff discussion	(435)
		Do you know the similarity between Miguel Cabrera and Jar Jar Binks?	(29)
		"It isn't like Manny got a lot of power behind that hit, the ball just wanted to get the hell out of Cleveland"	(75)
		Pacman Jones won't apply for reinstatement to NFL until after he's traded. Well, that should certainly increase his trade value	(22)
(Some Guy)		NBA scout on Knicks: "They haven't run any plays in over a month." Subby thought they hadn't been running plays all year	(12)
		In celebration of Jackie Robinson Day, here are 42 things you should know about the man who broke the color barrier in 1947	(39)
		Pedro out until June	(54)
		Former Sonics owner to sue current ownership group for breach of contract, wants team back	(36)
		ESPN's mock NFL draft has the top five teams filling their most pressing needs, and then the Jets will draft a philosophy major from Vassar	(38)
		2008 NFL Schedule is finally out. Guess who has the easiest schedule?	(110)
		"Minnesota, the land of 10,000 dead car batteries, has an inferiority about this hockey team. The Wild's style of play is as ugly and obnoxious as the uniforms"	(43)
		Hockey analyst misspoke when he said "Crapitals," wants to move on to the next game with the Cryers	(28)
		Top five late-round NFL draft sleepers, including some tiny QB/all purpose back from Georgia Southern who may be the next Brian Westbrook for some lucky team	(23)
		Indians closer Joe Borowski won't blow a save for at least two weeks	(24)
		American athletes "mixed" on role of protest in Beijing Olympics. Definition of mixed: "I think it's all right if my Olympic glory is overshadowed by people getting shot"	(108)
(Sporting News)		Nebraska expecting 81,000 fans and 22,000 teeth to attend annual Spring Game	(41)
		Montreal Canadien Tomas Plekanec: "I played like a little girl out there"	(17)
		Anyone getting too excited about how your team will fix all its problems in the upcoming NFL draft might want to read this 1989 SI article about how Tony Mandarich was going to tear up the league	(43)
		Kansas State's Michael Beasley enters the NBA draft	(34)
		Joe Lunardi starts smokin' crack early, projects 2009 NCAA March Madness. Your bracket asplode	(19)
		Phoenix Suns give Golden State Warriors opportunity to tie 1971-72 Suns for best record to miss the playoffs	(28)
		Philadelphia 76ers: "Yay, we held off the Cleveland Cavaliers. Let's go to the locker room to celebrate." Refs: "Not so fast, 76ers"	(36)
		Blind man runs seven marathons in seven days, has yet to see the finish line	(13)
(Some Rudderless Canuck)		The NHL's first casualty of the playoffs is..... Dave Nonis	(21)

		Ladies and gentlemen, in the grand tradition of the Trent Tucker Rule and the Gordie Howe Hat Trick, I give you the Sean Avery Rule	(72)
		Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's fat-fighting tips. "I know that because most people’s heads come up to my waist, they’re staring right at my gut, so every extra inch looks even bigger to them"	(10)
		Chelsea, still undefeated this year, just lost the premier title by a draw	(38)
		Sports Illustrated picks Kobe Bryant for MVP	(95)
		The agony of watching the Denver Broncos play on Sundays just got a little easier in Colorado	(22)
		What's worse: Waiting 15 years for Maple Leafs tickets, or paying requisite $5,000 bribe once wait is over? "I knew right then I'd been scammed"	(26)
		Carmelo Anthony mug shot	(164)
(Some Guy)		Jeter may play tonight	(52)
		Pope to say Mass at Yankee Stadium Sunday with sermon to warn against gluttony, pride and jealousy. Also expected to cover matters outside of Schilling and the Red Sox	(17)
(Sports Humor Blog)		Four reasons the Yankees should have kept the buried shirt	(32)
(Huffington Post)		After two years without playoffs in Atlanta, Braves fans are already whinier than curse-era Red Sox fans	(56)
		The Stanley Cup Playoffs continue. Monday NHL Playoff discussion thread	(468)
		Despite terrible start, Detroit Tigers aren't desperate enough to sign Barry Bonds. Well, not yet, anyway	(25)
		Current display featuring Kansas City Chiefs at KC airport proudly pictures seven players, six of whom are no longer on the team	(17)
(NY Daily News)		Devils upset that Rangers winger Sean Avery got in front of goalie Martin Brodeur during 5-on-3 and waved his hands and stick in his face. At least he didn't call Brodeur's wife a lesbian	(107)
(Some Guy)		We interrupt our final round Masters coverage to bring you Tom Brokaw ripping the Knicks	(11)
(Some Guy)		The USC Song Girls strip down to bikinis for a charity fundraiser	(20)
		If you're a drunk... and you're schizophrenic... who you gonna call? Mike Tyson	(10)
		"Worst QB crop in years?" asks writer who seems to forget that two years ago the best QB was Alex Smith	(60)
		Tennis star Ana Ivanovic -- now in lickable form	(23)
		Greg Maddux wins 349th game one day before his 42nd birthday. Tom Glavine, 42, leaves in the first inning with an injury	(27)
(Sportsline)		Sonics win the last game they will ever play in Seattle	(50)
		Not news: Fantasy sports game giving out money to winners. News: Total prizes: $7.7 million. Fark: It's fantasy fishing	(2)
		Grumpy New York Yankees tell Pope and his armored Popemobile to stay the hell off their lawn during his visit to Yankee Stadium this weekend	(27)