(Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods Y'all)		Some guy you have probably never heard of wins the Masters	(28)
(Some Guy)		Tiger, you farking DUMBASS	(33)
		For your viewing, finger pointing and laughing pleasure. The 10 most miserable sports cities in America	(103)
		What's the one thing in Major League Baseball that actually sucks worse than the Detroit Tigers? Andruw Jones	(28)
		Sunday playoff hockey thread. Flyers v Caps, Habs v Bruins, NJ v NY, and San Jose v Flames	(383)
		How crazy tight is the NBA West? "If the playoffs started today, the Rockets would be the fifth seed, but they're still within reach of the top seed, trailing the co-leading Lakers and Hornets by a half-game"	(34)
		The New York Yankees think curses are silly and are so unaffected by them that they hire a crew to spend the entire day jackhammering cement to excavate that Red Sox t-shirt	(76)
		A-Rod proves once again just how clutch he is	(80)
		Man United against Arsenal. Should be 'nuff said for your Sunday Premier League thread, which also features Liverpool - Blackburn	(218)
		CBS golf analyst Bobby Clampett learns that when referring to golfers, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please	(306)
(Sam Boni)		Chris Chelios, the NHL's oldest active player, skates in his 248th playoff game, breaks record, takes nap	(20)
(Some Guy)		Boston College wins NCAA hockey title. Both college hockey fans rejoice	(28)
		"It takes a certain type of person to decide to run 151 miles over six days in 50C heat, in a desert." The farking apeshiat insane type, you mean?	(11)

		Q: What has 18 legs and sucks? A: The Detroit Tigers	(52)
		Before FA Cup final, Wales government asks for Welsh National Anthem "Land of my Fathers" to be played, or as the Welsh call it, "Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau Llanfairpwllg Etc. Etc."	(17)
(Arkansas Democrat-Gazette)		When Drew Curtis talks smack on the Detroit Tigers, the world takes notice (quote appears in the middle of the last mega-paragraph)	(21)
		'Patron Race Walk' possibly more entertaining than The Masters (with pic)	(13)
		April showers bring May flowers and another Denny McLain arrest	(8)
(Some Guy)		Official Chinese news agency Xinhua pleased to announce that Celine Dion has flown to China to express her support for Beijing Olympics. Embarassed pro-Tibet protesters put away their signs and go back to their communes	(13)
(Birmingham Post)		Latest research suggests that playing cricket can prolong life, probably by making your life seem like it's taking forever and has no defined end	(5)
		Saturday NHL Playoff discussion thread: Nashville at Detroit, Boston at Montreal, Dallas at Anaheim	(471)
(Charleston Daily Mail)		Michigan's Rich Rodriguez could end up owing West Virginia more than his original $4m buyout if he keeps up with his whiny shenanigans and tomfoolery	(51)
(Sportingo)		"If archery can be an Olympic sport, why not darts?" It might have to do with sports that are played with a beer in one hand	(23)
		San Jose Sharks' defenseman invents three-glass-at-a-time beer keg pump	(16)
		Baseball players and owners agree to drug deal	(8)
(Samizdata)		"The Olympics are a vulgar, ruinous hullabaloo the chief functions of which are to facilitate graft on a spectacular scale and to act as a vehicle for the promotion of despotic values"	(11)
		Here's your Saturday Premier League thread, where most of the action will either have an impact on who gets relegated, or be really important in the battle for eighth place instead of ninth	(48)
		Lakers pull success out of the jaws of EPIC FAIL to win the Pacific Division title	(21)
		Yankees' Wang only touched twice, rams Boston 4-1	(59)
(TSN)		NHL player literally gives his left nut to for his team to try and win the cup	(66)
		Goodbye, Gumbel: Bryant bolting from NFL Network	(47)

(Some Guy)		Glasgow Rangers fan tries to break into neighbour's apartment to watch team play on TV. His actions are described as “bizarre and, unfortunately, brought on by drunken stupidity”, which pretty much sums up Rangers fans generally	(16)
		Miami Dolphin known for breaking through walls (with video) may now be employing similar technique in the Broward County Jail after punching a poor soul outside a bar	(9)
(Bergen Record)		Local paper polls NY area baseball fans on the Red Sox shirt brouhaha using an unintentionally hilarious Onion-style feature	(22)
		Calling it a "waste of money," Oscar De La Hoya fires 10-man entourage, saving $400,000 per year; plans to go it alone at upcoming Macy's intimates sale	(13)
		The Olympic torch relay finally finds a part of the world that doesn't give a rat's ass about Tibet	(167)
		Ahead of Sunday's match between Arsenal and Man U at Old Trafford, here are five of Arsenal's most famous wins. Bet Utd fans really miss Sylvain Wiltord	(60)
		Midget wrestling, Greek togas, and pillow fights. A new adult entertainment site? Nope, just your average minor league baseball promotion	(11)
		Kobe explains video of death-defying jump over moving car: "It's Hollywood, Baby"	(31)
		Notre Dame upsets Michigan and ruins all your brackets, will meet Boston College for the NCAA hockey title	(46)
		NHL Playoff Discussion Thread: Day 3	(632)
(Some Sock Puppet)		Red Sox fan curses the new Yankee Stadium by burying jersey at construction site, Yankees plan on burying Red Sox for the next 86 years	(229)
		Following a dangerous maneuver during the Opening Day flyover, an F-16 pilot is grounded for writing checks Fenway Park couldn't cash	(61)
(Some Guy)		Good News: New look Tampa Bay Rays lead the league. Bad News: In number of pitchers tasered	(22)
		Hottest Female athletes - very hittable (26-pic slideshow)	(168)
		Because it's their absolute human right, athletes will be allowed to speak without restriction during Olympics, according to IOC chief. Well, OK, with small restrictions	(50)
		United States beats Canada 4-2 at women's world hockey championships. Canadians wonder why the sky looks like blood and how come there are all those locusts around all of a sudden	(29)

(Some Jayhawk)		Jayhawks get to keep playing with their Self	(26)
		Kevin Harvick, Jimmie Johnson, Kasey Kahne and Tony Stewart have never been tested for drugs by NASCAR, want changes. "If I have to pee in a cup 15 times a year, I'm happy to do it."	(38)
		Former Toronto Blue Jay Jesse Barfield complains in his blog about baggy uniforms, laments players covering up "young, sculpted, athletic bodies"	(25)
		As you root around for the Texas Pete at an Austin Aiport condiment stand, be sure not to bump your foot on Earl Campbell's Heisman Trophy	(21)
		White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen claims umpires hate him, no one sure why he limited it to only umpires	(37)
		Ron Artest is deciding whether he will stay in Sacramento by reading message boards (2nd item)	(14)
		Tonight's game between the Nuggets and Warriors may decide who makes the playoffs and who becomes the first lottery team that is 20 games over .500	(41)
(Some Guy)		Royals now 6-2, look to sweep Yankees. Subby has to go to MLB.com to find the story, because the Farkers at ESPN only brag when the East Coast teams do good	(73)
		NHL Playoff Discussion Thread: Day 2	(708)
(WBZ)		Red Sox closer Papelbon needed a butt double for his new Dunkin' Donuts commercial; Sox fans simply happy they didn't film the commercial with Papi	(17)
		NHL players vs. Celebrity look-alikes: If you think the first pair is stunning, wait till you get to Ovechkin	(82)
		When carrying the Olympic torch, do not pull out a Tibetan flag. "The Chinese security and cops were on me like white on rice, it was no joke"	(307)
		Frightened of Texas, the Razorbacks drop them from their '09 schedule in favor of their little brother who rides the short bus	(72)
		What every kid dreams of: Pitching a no-hitter. What they don't dream of: Losing that game, 2-0	(74)
		"The hawk dropped a mouse on fans sitting along the third-base line - probably practicing its aim for A-Rod this weekend - and got a standing ovation from fans." (pic)	(17)
		O.J. Mayo relishes the opportunity to enter the NBA draft after he mustard the courage to play one season of college basketball. Lesser skilled players will just have to ketchup	(30)
		Milwaukee Bonecrushers head coach Gilbert Brown (the ex-Packer) and entire football operations staff resign in mid-season to protest lack of arena-football-caliber players	(8)
		Ten NFL players who should retire. Submitter can't decide which team's fans would be the most fun to p*ss off with a snarky comment	(37)
		David Beckham gets a traffic citation in Hollywood for driving while sexy	(8)
		The Colorado Rockies are close to trademarking Rocktober, right after they lock up Wegotluckytember	(31)
		Indiana basketball recruits are jumping ship faster than Hillary Clinton supporters	(133)
		If you can throw a cop over the top of an SUV at age 66, take a tazing, and still keep fighting, well, you certainly deserve to be in the pro football hall of fame	(21)

		If anyone gives a crap, Dot-com luckbox Mark Cuban thinks the Seattle SuperSonics shouldn't move to Oklahoma	(21)
		Reporter suggests that lutefisk could be "signature food" of new Twins ballpark. Submitter is very happy they're not allowing having an online vote to decide	(30)
		There's hope for Tigers fans; ESPN counts down nine teams who started the season slow who rose to play in October	(20)
		Ballpark Giveaways? "The Red Sox proved four years ago that having a stadium full of pink-hatted women is the only way to break a long World Series drought."	(31)
		Liverpool football star Andriy Voronin reaches out to fans by branding Britain "a cultural backwater" with poor health care, a high crime rate and then goes on to ridicule Liverpool accent, saying Scousers barely speak English	(32)
(Sportsline)		40 years ago this season, Bob Gibson went 22-9 with a 1.12 ERA, 28 complete games, 13 shutouts, and changed baseball forever	(65)
(Bleacher Report)		In 2004-2005, P.J. Brown received an NBA MVP vote despite averaging only 10.8 points, 9.0 rebounds, and 2.2 assists per game. Who will be this year's mediocre player to inexplicably get a vote from some clueless or misguided media person?	(31)
(TSN)		Paul Tracy is looking for an IRL ride, so he can continue wrecking in another series	(6)
		With Lopez Twins leaving, Trent Johnson sees no reason to stick around Stanford, takes LSU job	(8)
		Former soccer star gets three-year ban for ten-pint drink driving, failure to produce diver's license	(8)
(SI Vault)		Sports choke jobs of such magnitude they warrant their own pages in succession	(88)
		Former Chicago Bears LB Dick Butkus wins lawsuit to have his name removed from college football award, which will henceforth be known as the Butkusmyass Award	(14)
		Jason Reitman & Kevin Smith to blog for the NHL	(29)
		News: Final ESPN/USA Today NCAA Basketball rankings released. Not news: Duke ranked 16th. West Virginia Ranked 17th. Fark: Duke's final game of the season was being eliminated from the NCAA tourney by West Virginia	(27)
		Survey shows NBA MVP race is down to Kobe Bryant and Chris Paul. Those in the east need not apply	(27)
(KHQ.com)		Take that Indiana, Cal, LaState; Bennett stays a Coug on the Palouse	(25)
		Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Doug Davis gets a win two days before cancer surgery	(12)
		Las Vegas pick the Red Wings as the odds favorite for the Stanley Cup	(55)
		United v Roma, Barca v Schalke. It may sound like an old European nursery rhyme, but in fact, it is the 2nd leg of the Champions League Quarter Finals	(156)
		David Beckham makes another bad decision in LA, this time resulting in a $160 police fine	(14)
(mlb.com)		Atlanta Braves top prospect Jordan Schafer suspended 50 games after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs	(13)
		After failing postrace inspection at Texas Motor Speedway, Ryan Newman docked 25 points. Hellllloooooo, Newman	(17)
(Some Guy)		2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs start tonight. Official NHL Playoff Thread	(513)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)		Ottawa newspaper writer urges Senators to intentionally injure Pittsburgh Penguins' star players, especially Sidney Crosby. This should end well	(66)
		Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't. Yes he is. No he isn't	(15)
		Will Brett Favre un-retire if the Pack comes calling? "I very well could be enticed to do it"	(41)
(Some Guy)		NHL playoffs are rendered useless as EA predicts the San Jose Sharks as Stanley Cup champs	(51)
		Man posing as ESPN college basketball analyst arrested for offering high school students college scholarships if they set him up with teenage girl. Double-bonus: Brought his 10-year-old son along	(36)
		LeBron misses second day of practice due to bad back he got from carrying a team on it	(12)
		South African prostitutes hope to make a killing on 2010 World Cup - and as half are HIV-positive, you gotta like their odds (pic)	(29)
		Venus Williams to take 'indefinite' break from tennis, but reassures fans that they will be able to hear her grunting while she watches the Fed Cup on TV	(8)
		Alex Rodriguez gets Golden Sombrero, then kisses Derek goodbye before striking out 4 times in loss to Kansas City	(49)
		How NOT to earn the respect of your fellow NASCAR drivers while trying to be reinstated after a drug conviction: admit to shooting up heroin right before races	(21)

		Pat reaches the Summitt again as the Lady Vols win their 8th National Championship	(32)
		Video of top 50 soccer goals, which is pretty much every goal ever	(57)
(NY Sun)		NBC may put up with one more year of microscopic NHL ratings in order to televise the grand finale sporting event at Yankee Stadium - A Rangers game	(33)
(NY Daily News)		Ringless wonder Patrick Ewing elected to Hall of Fame. Apparently, failure can be rewarding	(44)
		Bicycling manufacture to cut ties with Greg LeMond due to his long-running feud with Lance Armstrong. Mon Dieu	(32)
		Having driven the No. 70 car right out of a guaranteed starting position, Jeremy Mayfield leaves Haas CNC Racing	(13)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)		NHL players begin growing their playoff beards. Leafs still shaving	(76)
		Report: Calipari "itching to give it another go in the NBA." With Knicks a possible destination, at least he wouldn't have to fret over blowing a 60-51 lead with 1:55 to play	(13)
(Some Guy)		ESPN's Steve Phillips chooses incredibly obscure pop-culture reference (Ashleigh Banfield's glasses?) to poke fun at Orel Hershiser	(26)
		Three days of NCAA-sponsored concerts at Final Four in San Antonio featured Kid Rock, Fall Out Boy and All-American Rejects; Exactly zero Hip Hop acts invited to perform	(59)
		Detroit Tigers 2008: "Well, no need to set aside a vacation day for the world championship riot"	(26)
		Red Sox players to receive their second World Series ring of the 21st century today. Yankees look at their 21st century championship rings and .... oh wait.... they don't have any	(238)
		Phillies and Mets have a lot of sexual tension between them	(42)
		Five NFL coaches who have to produce or they're gone: Four coach for NFC teams and one, of course, coaches the Raiders	(33)
		Bill Buckner to throw away the first pitch at the Boston Red Sox' home opener today	(58)
(Toronto Sun)		Penguins threw final regular season game to avoid playing Philadelphia in the playoffs, figure if they wait a round the Flyers will be gone	(79)
(some_tooth)		Hey kids, remember the 80s? Arsenal at Anfield, Fenerbahce at Chelsea. It's not MTV News, it's your official Tuesday Champions League discussion forum	(261)
(Some Guy)		He gets out of prison after his brother bribes a guard, gets a plane out of Congo to Belgium, gets political asylum, gets discovered by an NBA scout, signs with an NBA team and is now playing for the championship	(23)
		A-Rod might have to change positions while Derek Jeter's groin heals. Oh, and he may have to play some shortstop, too	(61)
(LAist/Improv Everywhere)		Watch as a random Little League baseball game is transformed into a big-league event, complete with jumbotron, NBC's Jim Gray, the Goodyear blimp and a post-game press conference	(48)
		Baltimore Orioles sweep Seattle Mariners, surge to best record in AL, and begin praying for season-ending strike to happen by lunchtime	(39)
		What really should have been CBS's "One Shining Moment" -- Bob Knight talking to a Volkswagen. What the fahrvergnugen? (With video goodness)	(5)
(Some Guy)		Cubs blow a seven-run lead, commit three errors, and walk eight batters. And win	(26)
		Brazilian dwarf soccer team. The Sun is there	(14)

		Memphis, home of the blues, has a reason to sing 'em tonight: Kansas 75, Memphis 68	(253)
(Run for the hills, Stamkos!)		Lightning coach John Tortorella has a new career to ruin as Tampa Bay draws top pick in 2008 NHL Draft	(36)
		Go Tigers Go, or Rock Chalk Jayhawk? NCAA Championship discussion thread	(563)
		Panoramic Pic from worst seats in the Alamodome for tonight's Memphis-Kansas NCAA final. On the bright side, the $275 price tag includes a business class fare to your car	(30)
		If you like Tiger Woods or just respect what he has accomplished, you will love this interview (video)	(45)
		KFNS fires Kevin Slaten over controversial interview with Cardinal pitching coach Dave Duncan	(35)
		While Kansas players were bunkered in their hotel yesterday, the Memphis Tigers were hanging out with fans on San Antonio's Riverwalk (with pics)	(17)
		Arsenal slipping further into American hands	(37)
		The progress of the Olympic flame through Paris has descended into farce after the torch was snuffed out, taken on a bus, relit and then extinguished again	(50)
		Dick Vitale elected to Basketball Hall of Fame. Acceptance speech expected to be string of stale catch phrases yelled at top volume, declarations of love for Duke, no actual content related to event	(57)
		San Diego Padres pitcher Jake Peavy denies doctoring baseballs with pine tar despite video, photographic evidence and expert opinion from L.A. Dodgers' pitching coach Rick Honeycutt	(65)
(WLUC-TV6)		Rare skiing accident in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Bonus: Photo of "rare skiing accident"	(29)
(NHL.com)		It's that time of year again: Official NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs Round 1 discussion thread	(168)
(Some Guy)		UCLA's basketball team may have bombed out of the Final Four, but the cheerleaders left quite an impression	(32)
		Down by 13 points in the fourth quarter, Dallas Mavericks hold Phoenix Suns to nine points for entire quarter, win by seven	(40)
(Toronto Sun)		Mosley says the Nazi orgy he was filmed participating in was "pure fabrication." News of the World: "We have the tape and will send copies to Senate members representing the global motor-racing community"	(38)
		Michael Vick playing football in prison. "The Longest Yard" re-remake, anyone?	(32)
(Some Guy)		After a 630-day and 46-game losing streak (the second-longest in the history of professional rugby league) the Panthers win a game	(26)
(Science Daily)		GaTech engineering professors develop computer algorithm that ranks NCAA basketball teams more accurately than any human expert or computer system. Submitter to bet the house on Kansas	(30)