Kansas wins sending all four #1 seeds to the Final Four, ensuring the win for Peggy from accounting	(85)
		Miami Heat limited to record low 17 field goals. In the entire game. And you wondered why Shaq was unhappy?	(20)
		Gordie Howe turns 80. Stay off his pond	(15)
(Winona Daily News)		After a 38-1 season, and for the second time in three seasons, the Winona State University basketball team are the NCAA Division II champions	(20)
		Formula One motor racing chief Max Mosley embroiled in sensational sex scandal after footage that reportedly shows him taking part in Nazi-style sex orgy with up to five hookers. Because you know who liked to have sex orgies with hookers	(28)
(WWE.com)		The Official Wrestlemania XXIV Discussion Thread. It's the WWE, so please check your logic at the door	(511)
		In a rare moment of mental ability, Pacman Jones realizes his tenure with the Titans in over. Also says he wants to play for the Cowboys. Well, there goes the mental ability, it was nice while it lasted	(20)
		UK to require English tests of foreign soccer players and their wifes. Players must be able to say "Football been bery bery good to me"	(16)
(Fox Sports)		The official NCAA Tournament discussion - road to the Final Four edition	(674)
		Owner of Roush Racing claims "intellectual espionage", which may be the fist time "intellectual" has been used in a story connected to NASCAR	(47)
		Amare Stoudemire chalks up getting a double-technical with Vince Carter to a showdown between Floridians, says Vince is from "soft" Daytona and he's from "rugged" Polk County (a little down)	(14)
(Pew Research)		Three things that make America great: Mom, baseball and apple pie. (Checks new poll) Okay make that mom and apple pie	(42)
		Are you watching George Gillett and Malcolm Glazer? Here is one guy who really knows how to fark it up with a bunch of soccer fans	(10)
		Ronaldo's backheel goal yesterday	(27)
		Oxford defeats Cambridge in famed crew race, attributes win to having the best cox	(9)
		NBA playoff picture in the wild west changing every day: "When the Rockets did not play Friday, they fell from second to fifth in the Western Conference, while also moving a game closer to first."	(25)
		Media thinks that there is a team approaching Duke's level of being universally hated. Does this mean that Duke even sucks at sucking?	(34)
		Emo hockey player who sliced his wrist with his skate earlier in the season has neck sliced with a skate. Still doing it wrong	(7)
		Top 5 worst tattoos on professional athletes	(28)
		Dodgers and Red Sox draw more than 100,000 fans to a preseason game. Braves seen taking notes for potential playoff games	(28)
		Hardball Made Easy - Spoof baseball instructional video with Colorado Rockies' Brad Hawpe	(25)
		Former NBA player Isaiah Rider arrested for car theft. Trailblazers look to pick him up as a free agent	(15)

		Baseball old-timers call for current major-leaguers to put steroid use behind them, return game to simpler time when ballplayers had decency to win through hard work and amphetamines	(16)
		The cheapest beer at Padre Stadium is now $6.50 for a 16-ounce	(60)
		He's off the hook(er): Minor league baseball team planning Eliot Spitzer Night suspends operations	(7)
(Some Guy)		Toronto Maple Leaf fans offered the chance to wear blue-and-white sad-face bags over their heads to team's home games (pic)	(21)
		Today's NCAA Elite Eight discussion. Perhaps we'll get some SEC and Big Televen players to join in on the discussion. It's not like they have any meaningful basketball to play or anything	(541)
		Georgia's Mr. Basketball dethroned on the day he receives the honor for allegedly shooting at a woman from a car with a BB gun	(6)
(Some Guy)		You leave Arsenal ALONE. God save us all if they lose today. It's not news: It's your Saturday EPL discussion thread	(106)
(Some Guy)		Former Olympic medallists are calling on athletes competing in the Beijing Games to wear a specially designed green and blue bracelet to protest human rights violations by China in Tibet	(27)
		American soccer fan gets ready for MLS kickoff today	(40)
		Ohio State plans to keep losing to SEC long after you've passed away	(43)
		"Should the NHL consider expanding its playoff format to include more teams in the postseason?" ::facepalm::	(110)

		When did Stephen Curry ruin your bracket? If you had Wisconsin moving on, that'd be tonight. Villanova or Kansas next	(55)
		Hockey player names the coach of the Vancouver Canucks in a $38m civil lawsuit for ordering "the hit" on him that ended his career. Goon claims he was required by the NHL to follow coach Soprano’s whacking orders	(19)
		Coach Charlie Weis claims Notre Dame lineman gained 43 lbs of "lean muscle" in 4 months; What does Weis know about lean muscle?	(20)
		Former New York Yankees trainer Brian McNamee tells group of kids to learn from his mistakes... whatever they were	(8)
(Some Guy)		President Bush - who once employed Jose Canseco and Juan Gonzalez on the Rangers - no longer has to throw opening pitch to Mitchell Report star	(33)
		Hideki Matsui: he loves driving his Chevy, eating steak, and trading porn with Japanese reporters....Wait, what?	(22)
		Raiders sign two quarterbacks who haven't played in NFL. Still can teach #1 pick JaMarcus Russell - at least these "veterans" have attended a training camp	(18)
		Red Wings plan for Darren McCarty's return, will have plenty of booze and credit cards	(47)
		Why should South Carolina have all the delinquet football players? Clemson recruit photographed holding $10,000 in cash. Stephen Garcia unavailable for comment	(20)
		Tennis player Serena Williams to guest star on "The Game" playing the role of Woman with Gigantic Ass #1	(62)
(SB Sun)		Legendary baseball announcer Vin Scully recalls his early days in L.A., remembers when the La Brea Tar Pits were just puddles	(13)
(Some Guy)		Charles Barkley in radio interview: ESPN's Mariotti and Bayless are "losers" and Mike Lupica is a "midget"	(53)
(Fan Nation)		Referees are screwing Kobe Bryant despite his begging, pleading and screams	(14)
		Kicking off a litany of hilarious, high profile April Fools jokes, ESPN announces it will broadcast Univ. of Florida spring football game. Oh wait, they're serious?	(7)
(Some Canuck)		Todd Bertuzzi suing former coach Crawford, because he should have known Bertuzzi cannot show restraint so this whole thing is obviously his fault	(41)
		After missing the entire season due to knee surgery, #1 overall pick Greg Oden decides it's a good time to play a pickup game	(28)
(The Real March Madness)		Official NCAA men's hockey tournament thread. First up, Michigan against Appalachian State...I mean, Niagara	(73)
		Cricketer scored triple century off only 278 balls	(39)
		Don't check your calendars OSU fans. Your Buckeyes will be losing to an SEC team earlier than normal in 2018	(26)
		Indy Racing League to Danica Patrick: Eat a damned sammich or something	(52)
		Fantasy sports writer confused why Fantasy baseball managers are eschewing Billy Butler, a Kansas City Royal who lost the 1B job to a Ryan Shealy and a Ross Gload, but will win the batting title this year	(15)
(TVSportsTonight)		Natalie Gulbis' transition to becoming a Barbie doll nearly complete	(49)
(Sportsnetwork)		The official NCAA tournament thread - Sweet 16 edition day two	(400)
		Inexplicable headline of the day: "Nats Stadium: 'It's Going to Spunk Us Up'"	(71)
		NBA slam-dunks Mark Cuban's ban on bloggers	(11)
		Mardy Fish feels crappie after floundering in a recent tennis match, carps about his fatigue. He won't be koi about being knocked from his perch, but he's still happy about his plaice in the world rankings	(9)
		This weekend, Dodger Juan Pierre might just throw to third without a bounce	(30)
		Bruins eliminate Maple Leafs from playoffs. Seasonal employment now available at all Toronto area country clubs	(103)

		Mom says Jessica Simpson secretly married Tony Romo	(32)
		Cowboys increase trade offer to Pac-Man. Add Cherry and Apple to original offer of Power Pellet, Inky and Clyde	(43)
(koco-tv)		The case of the OU Sooner fan attempting to castrate a Longhorn fan in a bar is going to trial. Trial date is after the NCAA tourney is over	(147)
		F1 driver Ralf Schumacher's wife in public feud with former maid, accusing her of stealing bananas. With photographic proof that Schumacher's wife is smuggling raisins in her tank top	(22)
		Barry Zito pitches seven innings and his Giants still lose to their own AAA farm team	(43)
		Tiger Woods, the most driven, focused and unshakeable athlete of all time, vows to "break photographer's f*cking neck" after hearing the soft, whispery murmur of a camera shutter during his backswing	(104)
		Hideki Matsui introduces his new "civilian" wife to the media - as a drawing on a piece of paper (with pic)	(49)
		Bad: US women's Olympic softball team upset by Virginia Tech. Worse: That ended a 185-game winning streak. Worst: Virginia Tech pitched a no-hitter	(30)
		ESPN builds greatest "Frankenstein" hockey player using parts of various NHL players. Teeth are appropriately missing from the list	(25)
(Awful Announcing.com)		Crack ESPN announcer Gary Thorne in midseason form, confuses Jose Canseco with Jason Giambi (audio clip)	(10)
(Some Guy)		Duke's Kyle Singler gives West Virginia guard titty twister. Duke Sucks	(21)
		Detroit Tigers ballpark video camera crew accused of shooting "softcore videos" during games. Cinemax closing in on MLB broadcast rights deal	(43)
(Red Reporter)		Cool: Toyota puts truck in center field of Great American Ball Park, will give it to lucky fan if it is hit. Asinine: It has the same chance of getting hit as the Reds do of winning the division	(31)
		NBA to send Hornets, Wizards, Heat and Nets to Europe. Unfortunately, Europe plans to send them back	(14)
(Some Tooth)		It's as if 100,000 Manchester United fans just cried out in horror: Mike Riley won't be allowed to referee any more big games this season	(38)
		The official NCAA Tournament thread: Sweet Sixteen edition	(609)
		Major League Baseball's 2005 draft is looking so good the top 20 picks get their own page explaining why they are so good	(48)
		Bush is scheduled to throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals game on Sunday...to a suspected steroid user who was mentioned 37 times in the Mitchell Report	(28)
		OL Justin Boren says he left Michigan football team because its "family values have eroded." Translation: If you get between Rich Rod and his ego, you'll always lose	(80)
(MLB.com)		Beware, Braves fans. If If Tiger Woods can hit Smoltz's stuff, imagine what a REAL athlete could do?	(15)
		David Beckham celebrates his 100th international game by scoring three times, making 10 saves, and healing a blind boy. No, not really... he was held without a shot and drew a yellow card in England's 1-0 loss to France	(34)
		Former Yankee bullpen coach says "NO Way" A-Rod was on juice. He couldn't hide something like that, "He is not that bright to be able to pull that off"	(43)
(Fox Sports)		What's the difference between Marcus Trufant and the Seattle Supersonics? Trufant's going to be in Seattle for the next few years	(22)
		Not News: Talented pitcher's career may be over due to serious shoulder injury. News: He's not named Kerry Wood or Mark Prior	(28)
		Charlie Weis, Mark Richt, Tommy Tuberville, and other college coaches to visit troops in the Middle East during Memorial Day	(21)
		Female cycling champ Thomas had a deep voice, full beard, chest hair, signs of male pattern baldness, and scored with woman more often than Subby	(29)
		Michelle Wie's dating a big man on campus - one of Stanford's 7-foot-1 Lopez Twins	(44)

		Someone finally addresses the burning issue regarding astronomical gas costs: How is this going to affect poor ol' NASCAR?	(25)
(The State)		Steve Spurrier lays down the law after highly recruited QB is arrested for 3rd time. Just kidding. He'll be back for fall practice	(22)
		What teams have to do in order to beat the four No. 1 seeds in the men's NCAA basketball tournament. Somehow absent from the "how to beat UCLA list" is paying the officals more than they do	(70)
		NFL turns its vigilant eye against the greatest threat to the brutal beauty of the bloodsport, the sport of kings, the true American pastime: The length of players' hair	(41)
		If Flyers reach Stanley Cup finals, Simon Gagne says he would return to lineup; risk team chemistry, get 4th concussion this season	(35)
		89-year-old columnist laments MLB's "Oriental Trip," brings up Pearl Harbor: "I saw what a few bombs can do to our property." Might want to ask the folks in Hiroshima that too	(58)
		News: ESPN's top 50 baseball players for the next five years. Fark: David Wright tops list ahead of A-Rod	(113)
		"The Don Cherry Story" to hit Canadian television, got the greenlight over "Neil Young's Dad's Story"	(42)
(Some Guy)		I see your MLB hurdling clip and raise you the same player jumping cars	(27)
		Patrick Roy suspended five games for being a supportive father	(48)
		Chicago Bears indicate possible problem with RB Cedric Benson's recovery from fractured ankle by visiting with Arkansas RBs Darren McFadden and Felix Jones	(32)
(FrogSoda)		Baseball player avoids tag by hurdling another player	(25)
		Watch out, Tempe criminals. Officer Shaq is back	(20)
(Some Evil Empire)		Yankees unveil exquisite details of the new Stadium's luxury amenities, available to expense-accounting corporate scum and not you little people, who will still have the honor of listening to the game in your car on the Deegan	(53)
		Oakland A's defeat Boston Red Sox 5-1 to split series in Japan	(94)
		Mystical revelation for Cubs chances this season. Here comes the seance	(18)
		David Beckham WILL win his 100th cap for England. Thank goodness we can get that one out of the way	(46)
(Some Guy)		Latest young American hockey phenom stands 6'3", weighs 180 pounds and has size 16 shoes. Dude, he's 12. Bonus: His teammate is legitimately regarded as the next Lemieux	(28)
		Weird: Russian uses his wealth to lure athletes from the U.S. to Moscow to live in luxury and play for his team. Fark: They're WNBA players for his women's basketball franchise	(8)
		Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman wins 800th game by rickrolling over former team	(8)

		NBA superstar Chris Webber to retire. No word on whether he plans to fall out of bounds and call a timeout they don't have just for old time's sake	(57)
		Infidelity? Bondage? On video? Thanks for making us laugh at love again, English soccer	(7)
		Slow sports day in Dallas? Major local daily newspaper live blogs Pacman Jones' 3-hour guest appearance on Dallas radio station	(10)
		Phillies closer Brad Lidge will start the season on the DL as doctors try desperately to remove Albert Pujols' 2005 home run from his throat	(43)
		Patrick Roy's son copies his father by getting into a fight with opposing goaltender and making fun of Roenick	(91)
(Some Guy)		Why are there so many Japanese players in the U.S.? Because Japanese baseball is farking weird	(60)
		76ers overcome 11 point 4th quarter deficit, beat Celtics	(31)
		NBA teams finally realize there is little talent in Europe, aside from Amsterdam's red light district	(19)
		Matt Stajan will probably be the next captain of the Maple Leafs, looks forward to going down with the ship	(21)
		In new (leaked) book, Canseco claims A-Rod tried to sleep with his wife after he introduced him to a steroid supplier. Canseco to A-Rod: "I hate your f***ing guts"	(78)
(Some Leafs Fan)		Vesa Toskala -- the guy who let in the 200-foot goal a week ago -- is now one of the NHL Stars of the Week	(47)
		Pacman Jones, hopeful to be a Cowboy soon, thinks one way to make it happen is to go on Michael Irvin's radio show. Link provided here, but no Jibberish language pack available	(40)
		Good news for Seattle's basketball fan: There will be no Oklahoma City Supersonics	(53)
		NFL strips 49ers of draft pick for tampering with Bears LB Lance Briggs. Unfortunately, it's not the first-round draft pick that they traded to the New England Patriots	(51)
		New Speedo swimsuit comes under fire after 12 out of 13 world records set by wearers since mid February. Still no explanation for fat Italians wearing Speedos on the beach	(36)
		Boston public transit system buckling thanks to Red Sox broadcast outage: "This morning I took my DirecTV satellite dish and literally threw it off my balcony and onto my car windshield, and now I can't drive my car"	(175)
		Boston Red Sox defeat Oakland A's, Godzilla	(61)
		San Francisco Giants infielder Kevin Frandsen stays behind at spring training to test his Achilles tendon in a minor league game. It fails, and now he's out for the season	(20)
		Brett Favre to get delay of game on his retirement papers	(11)
(Some Guy)		CFL hoping third time's the charm as Ottawa set to get yet another franchise. NFL rejects will have a new opportunity to earn low pay, run 10 extra yards, learn about the "rouge"	(20)
(Some Guy)		Tampa Bay Rays send Evan Longoria to the minors. Tony Parker is not going to be happy about this	(13)
		In a 1955 piece for SI, William Faulkner writes about going to his first hockey game, finding the game "discorded and inconsequent, bizarre and paradoxical" but ultimately resolving into "a design almost beautiful"	(38)
(Some Bronco Fan)		This week's award for stupidest sports injury goes to... Broncos WR Brandon Marshall	(17)
		Stern wants to raise minimum age for players to 20. Yeah, god forbid some little teenage punk actually goes out and gets a job	(58)
(Some Guy)		Montreal Canadiens clinch playoff spot with win over Ottawa. Leafs fans sneer, say making the playoffs isn't important because it makes players miss important April tee times	(34)

(SI.com)		In the year 2000 the quarterback will have a calculator in his helmet. It will be on his Lexan visor, so he'll be able to see readouts based on percentages and statistics to determine the ideal play to run	(32)
(Some Guy)		The Maple Leafs, defiant and brimming with confidence, have ridden an us-against-the-world mentality back into the race for a playoff spot. Boston, beware	(55)
		Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood to miss four times as many games on the DL this year	(9)
		MTV Cribs features Jimmy Rollins' vibrating bed; Fails to find out from girlfriend where he hides his roll of quarters	(9)
		New York Mets name Santana as opening-day starter. Oye como va	(21)
		Bars near Fenway Park in Boston will open their doors at 5:00 AM tomorrow for Opening Day	(63)
		Problem: CBS won't let you show Duke-Belmont highlights due to exclusive broadcasting rights. Solution: Use dolls and stuffed animals to reenact game	(49)
(Some Guy)		MLB Players' Union to investigate why no offers have been made to Barry BondBWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face through that	(28)
		Tim Tebow likes his Hooters huge, on a stick (with pic)	(29)
		Bogut. It's Australian for "about to get overpaid"	(5)
		No joy in Tokyo as Casey has crapped out. Pitcher develops "Southern League Neck" , gets moved to back of the bus	(11)
		Not content with getting taxpayer-paid new ballparks from the city, both the Mets and Yankes want to buy their old parks so they can plunder them for lucrative memorabilia to peddle to fans. Jets fans call dibs on the Leon Hess urinal	(41)
		Mike Shanahan's butt likely warming	(13)
		Lady Vols attack cheerleader takes out Oral Roberts player	(30)
(NY Daily News)		List of candidates to replace Isiah Thomas includes everyone who's name is not Isiah Thomas	(10)
		Matt Ryan leads draft QBs with a 32 on the Wonderlic IQ test, 26 points above Vince Young's score a couple years ago, although that score was largely due to Young's unorthodox writing motion	(45)
		Japanese wish the Boston Red Sox were playing the Boston Red Sox	(35)
		It's no longer news when Tiger Woods wins, but it *is* news when he loses	(12)
(Some Guy)		Father sees photo of his son flipping off UCLA's Kevin Love during game in Sports Illustrated story about abusive fans, takes away son's car	(69)
		After making a blockbuster deal to obtain Shawn Marion, Miami Heat could blow that because he has an early termination option in his contract and is leaning toward using it this offseason	(20)
		After years of escalating jealousy issues regarding Mike Hampton's neverending vacation, fellow Brave John Smoltz decides that he too will start the year on the DL	(5)
		If Georgetown fans are bummed about losing to Davidson, at least they can take solace in the knowledge that Davidson is also a better school than Georgetown	(33)
		Houston Texans to sign QB Quinn Gray to back up Matt Schaub and Sage Rosenfels, completing the trio of least talented QBs ever assembled on one roster	(51)
		Davidson singing "Sweet Caroline" as Sweet Sixteen inspiration. The Boston Red Sox would like to have a word with you	(38)
		Penn State to offer class on Joe Paterno and how he handles all the people on his lawn	(10)
		Horns guard D.J. Augustin's biggest challenge was "five years ago, when his family was displaced by Hurricane Katrina." That's some mighty fine counting there, Louise	(27)
		Andy Pettitte still bothered by back spasms. Oddly not bothered by back stabbing	(15)