Dirk has a possibly season-ending injury, Jerry Stackhouse is ejected for using Manu Ginobili's face to get up off the floor, and the Mavs fall to 0-8 against winning teams with Jason Kidd. The Dallas train has officially left the tracks	(19)
		Excerpt from Phillies' catcher Chris Coste's book. The heart-warming story of a 33-year old's success after a decade in the minors. Right now, somewhere, Kevin Costner is salivating	(5)
		Last year's Tour de France winner excluded from race because he is now on team headed by Lance Armstrong's former manager who are all in a pissing contest over pissing	(12)
		Why should men get all the attention? How about a women's NCAA tournament discussion thread? Ha ha, no... oh, wait	(48)
		Can another Stanford-Marquette happen today? The NCAA tournament discussion continues	(366)
(Premierleague.com)		It's Super Sunday: ManU vs. Liverpool and Chelsea vs. Arsenal. This is your official Premier League discussion thread	(202)
(The Local.de)		Michael Schumacher proves he is as fast on two wheels as on four. Lance Armstrong takes his ball and goes home	(31)
		Braves catcher Javy Lopez retires after hearing the news he didn't make the main roster	(21)
		Like a Phoenix rising from Arizona, the Suns have won seven straight games	(17)
		Sidebottom get seven wickets, and now England is back in control in Napier	(18)
(MLB)		The Tigers just bet the farm on Miguel Cabrera, inking him to an eight-year $153.3 mmmmmmmmillion extention	(20)
		Jason Elam, who has apparently never heard of Michael Vick or read Fark, leaves Broncos for Falcons	(21)
		A leg of lamb in a red bag was thrown on the pitch to express displeasure at the officiating. Mint jelly not included	(7)

		Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Fail (Duke, Duke)	(78)
		Town that agreed to host the Cincinnati Reds spring training is now questioning whether having a bunch of overpaid underachievers is worth $33 million. Now you know what it's like to own the Royals, chumps	(11)
(Some Guy)		Alexander Ovechkin becomes the first player since Mario Lemieux to score 60 goals in a season	(59)
		Way to kill my brackets San Diego, Sienna, and Western Kentucky. The NCAA tournament discussion continues, round two	(836)
		Thirty-five years ago this season, the American League decided to stop playing real baseball	(121)
		It's your official "no Man U, Arsenal, Chelsea, or Liverpool fans" Saturday EPL discussion forum, come in and enjoy the silence	(35)
		Sad: It will cost $2,500 to sit near home plate at a Yankee home game in 2009. Scary: They already have commitments for all 122 of the front-row seats. Laughing from the grave: Grandpa who paid $1 or so to watch the Dodgers at Ebbets Field	(44)
		Kuznetsova triumphsova Sharapova	(21)
		Augusta National keeps out women, Chris Berman	(27)
		(12) Villanova knocks off (5) Clemson, making the Tampa regional 4 for 4 on upsets in the NCAA Tournament on Friday	(43)
		Lebron sets Cavs career scoring record in his fifth season with the team. And now you know why Clevelanders hate themselves	(40)

(Sox & Dawgs)		64 reasons to watch the Women's NCAA basketball tournament... none of which involves basketball (SFW pics of women's college hoops hotties)	(58)
		China may ban live TV coverage of summer Olympics over fears that protesters might want camera time	(64)
		Motivated by whatever the hell their mascot is, (12) Western Kentucky shocks (5) Drake in OT	(44)
		Does an apparently bogus PGA Tour win by Byron Nelson in 1945 mean Tiger already has greatest tournament-winning streak?	(15)
		Wife of former NBA referee Tim Donaghy seeks restraining order. According to an inside tip, submitter offers 1:2 odds that she'll get it approved	(3)
		Major League Lacrosse team in Denver outsells the Nuggets and Avalanche, perhaps the hot tub seating with bikini clad women has helped	(21)
		Knicks think clearing cap space in and of itself will lure Lebron James. Fans launch website to lure him with cash	(43)
		After getting crushed 70-29 by UCLA, Mississippi Valley State doesn't leave the NCAA Tournament empty-handed. They get to go home knowing they set opening round records for fewest points and worst shooting percentage	(16)
		Bad news, Bruins fans -- Bill Simmons has picked UCLA to win it all, so they're definitely going down	(19)
		Belmont comes close to upsetting Duke. What will happen on day two? The official NCAA tournament thread continues	(915)
		Tuesday's Dallas Mavericks and Los Angeles Clippers game will be shown live in 3-D at a Dallas movie theatre, which is also being fitted with a salt water sprinkler system to complete the effect	(5)
		One of the best boxing knockouts you'll see all day	(57)
		Steve Nash is looking forward to a post-NBA career as an independent filmmaker, cites The Big Lebowski as one of his favorite movies	(22)
		Brian McNamee, the lead figure in the Roger Clemens doping scandal, blacks out while driving and crashes head-on into a city bus. If only he knew somebody that could prescribe him something that would help him heal faster	(10)
		The Milwaukee Bucks are so bad that ticket scalpers can't break even	(17)
		Because the races have become so predictable and boring, ESPN resorts to a 738-word story about NASCAR drivers' mustaches	(28)
		Nomar Garciaparra already in mid-season form	(22)

(Some Guy)		Ernest Hemingway covers the NCAA Tournament, describing it in short sentences about war and bullfighting	(20)
		One point win over Belmont? Even for Duke, that's a whole heapin' helpin' o' suck	(48)
		Former Loyola Marymount March Madness legend and pro flameout Bo Kimble on NBA conspiracy against him: "I would've averaged 45"	(16)
(Bleeding Green Nation)		The Dallas Cowboys accidentally show their draft board. Must play poker with Wade Phillips now	(23)
		Kent State goes mad for March Madness, scores 10 points in first half. The entire half. No, not one player... the entire team	(32)
		Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan building mansion on land he bought from Janet Elway, who got it from John Elway in the divorce	(18)
		Having suffered some sort of offseason concussion, Jacksonville Jaguars QB David Garrard asks for more money than Dallas is paying Tony Romo	(34)
(Some Dirty Hippies)		Leaving no attention-whoring stone unturned, PETA taps into March Madness	(32)
		The Stanley Cup is on display in that bastion of hockey fandom, Afghanistan	(28)
		Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver arrested for punching girlfriend in the face in a restaurant. This follows him encouraging her to commit suicide during an armed standoff in late January. Ahh, young love	(34)
		Official Thursday NCAA Tournament Discussion thread	(884)
		Despite winning every tournament he's entered this year, Tiger Woods pulls a Hillary and claims "It's the number of wins in majors that really count."	(19)
		"It says here that you were arrested for running an organized crime ring." "Oh, that was just the March Madness office pool I was running"	(3)
		DiscUss the Kings of thE court with the Soon-to-be Ultimate College basKetball Story thread	(60)
		Everton Football Club announces their successful acquisition of a seven-year old boy, narrowly edging out regional catholic diocese	(5)
		Falcons won't miss 'MeAngelo', think he fits in great with the Raiders. And his poems suck	(18)
		Down 4-1 and booed off home ice after the second period, the Buffalo Sabres return from intermission with a truckload of whoopass, win 7-4	(24)
(NFL.com)		Cincinnati has a Pro Bowl wide receiver who believes he is underpaid and wants a new deal. No, the other one	(28)
		NCAA will move back 3-point line, NBA should think about moving it closer	(48)
		They haven't even begun yet, but the Beijing Olympics are already turning into a debacle	(42)
		Iverson regrets way 76ers career ended; wishes he had attended more practice. Practice	(13)
		Sixers fans greet Iverson with standing ovation. Just kidding they- wait, they actually did greet him with a standing ovation	(40)
		Goalies empathize with Toskala on his epic failure	(75)
(Bloomberg)		The candidates' picks in their March Madness staff pools - Barack Obama backs UNC, John McCain is wondering if Matlock will defeat Onion on Belt in a 5-12 upset, and the paragon of feminists everywhere says she has to check with Bill first	(70)
		After winning 22 in a row, the Rockets have now lost 2 in a row. Where's your Yao now?	(20)
		Virginia Tech's leading rusher last year is kicked off team for poor attitude. You know who else had a poor attitude at Virginia Tech?	(61)
		Pat Riley learns that karma can take many forms. Scoring only 54 points in a game? That would be one of them	(16)

		Reminder for a new crowd: The OFFICIAL NCAA March Farkness bracket pool. Get your ass in here and join the 379 here. A little DIT too	(52)
		Mainstream media blogger: Lebron James-Gisele Bundchen Vogue Magazine cover resembled "Gorilla Carrying Off a Woman"	(41)
		Monica Seles takes a stab at writing her memoirs	(12)
		That sound you just heard was fans of the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings simultaneously screaming, "Dear God, nooooooooooooooooo"	(33)
		In what surely must be a misprint, Kerry Wood of the Cubs said to be injured. Jay Marriotti, Tony Stark unavailable for comment	(27)
		Red Sox going to Japan afterall, look for monsters to eat the Yankees	(32)
		Isiah Thomas upset that former boss is talking to what will be his former employer	(10)
		Brewers and Angels engage in battle of who can field the least amount of major league ball players in spring training	(13)
		Here's your yearly "The NCAA Tournament costs eleventy billion zillion googleplex dollars in lost production" story. In other news, taxes are due next month	(11)
(Some Guy)		March Madness was started by Eddie Einhorn, minority Chicago White Sox owner and former Pro Wrestling promoter	(9)
		U.S. Postal Service mails it in: Randy Moss soon to be featured on "limited edition" commemorative envelopes	(14)
		Mavs are 0-6 against winning teams since super awesome blockbuster Jason Kidd trade. Perhaps you didn't think your clever plan all the way through, Dallas	(35)
		Attention whore Terrelle Pryor chooses Ohio State over Michigan	(219)
		Red Sox players threaten to boycott opening day in Japan over a pay dispute involving their coaches	(127)
		Congratulations, Mount St. Mary's, on earning the right to be destroyed by North Carolina	(38)
		NCAA March Farkness 2008 bracket pool... Because everyone enjoys the yearly validation that Duke sucks... PW is fark2008	(106)
		High-scoring Denver Nuggets follow up 168-point outburst against Seattle with 120 points against Detroit. Unfortunately, the Pistons put up 136	(19)
		China's new state-of-the-art Olympic facilities overlooked one tiny detail -- most people in the Western world use sit-down toilets, not squatting ones	(62)
		Olympic Committee says torch relay will go to Tibet as planned, promises it won't be used to set Buddhist monks on fire	(15)
(The Local.de)		Germany to start blind soccer league, with all the thrills and excitement of the sighted game plus bonus white-stick beatings	(5)
(Some Guy)		Oregon Tech wins NAIA D2 championship in basketball. Zero ones of people care	(11)
(SkySports.com)		God is an Aberdeen fan	(13)
		Soccer team banned from drinking champagne to celebrate title win because regulations prohibit glass containers on soccer grounds	(8)
		Houston Rockets have now won 22 of 23 games, are among hottest NBA teams ever	(47)
		Hair restored for first time in history that didn't require plugs	(6)
		Not News: NHL player scores a goal. News: From 200 feet away. Fark: There was a goalie in the net. Bonus: It was the Leafs' goalie	(137)
(Some Guy)		This Thursday, Sports Illustrated will introduce "the Vault," where you can access all of their old articles for free	(19)

		John Madden and Charles Barkley sue Dish Network over ads featuring Frank Caliendo impersonations of them; Sadly, death row for Caliendo's comedy career not included in jury instructions	(56)
		Minnesota Timberwolves owner: "I think Kevin Garnett tanked it for us last year." In other news, their 16-50 start was entirely his fault since he played every position at every minute of the game	(23)
(WKYC)		Al Sharpton wants the NFL to cancel the Hall of Fame Game. Finally, something we can agree on	(20)
		Roger Clemens offered mascot job for minor-league team for $25 a game and free hot dogs	(8)
		MLBPA to investigate why nobody wants Bonds, will then attempt to discern why water is wet	(28)
		ESPN analyst Steve Phillips says on-air that while he served as Mets GM, he wanted an underachieving player he signed to take amphetamines	(9)
		Like Kyle Orton drunkenly rummaging through his pantry after a Jack and Coke bender, the Bears will be forced to bargain-hunt after blowing their wad on signing Tommie Harris and Devin Hester to long-term deals	(25)
		The first game of the NCAA tournament will feature Mount St. Mary's and Coppin State -- two schools less than 60 miles apart in Maryland, who will travel 500 miles to Dayton, Ohio so one can lose, and one can win and then get killed by UNC	(95)
(Some Guy)		Classic screengrab: ESPN has nine headlines on its baseball page, and seven of them are related to NY and Boston. Duke sucks	(135)
(Home Run Derby)		The Dodgers and Padres played some spring training games in China over the weekend, but all anyone noticed were the Chinese Cheerleaders	(22)
		After tonight, the Houston Rockets win streak will restart at one on Wednesday	(69)
(NCAA)		This might shock some of you, but the best student/athletes aren't very good students. Also, water wet, sky blue, Kelvin Sampson has a phone addiciton	(45)
		The Yankees rock Boston's Colon	(53)
		Dolphins DE Jason Taylor makes his debut on "Dancing With the Stars" (with video goodness)	(7)
		Celtics overcome 22-point deficit in win over the Spurs. Duncan's streak of never actually committing a foul still alive	(40)
		Cubs pinning all their hopes on Kerry Wood. Is it even possible to be out of post-season race before opening day?	(40)
(Marlins)		Journeyman player Jeff Conine is continuing a trend by signing a one day contract with a former team so he can retire as a member of that team. In this case, it's the Florida Marlins	(14)
		Gonzaga president to step down next year, probably after some miraculous comeback win against a much higher ranked opponent	(19)
(Columbia Tribune)		You know Missouri football has hit the big time when their players start getting guns and threaten to "light the place up." Rock Chalk Jayhawk	(77)

		Bob Costas explains he doesn't hate bloggers citing The Onion as a blog he reads and an example of how out of touch he is	(23)
(Some Grumpy Skier)		Taos drops snowboarding ban. It's all down hill from here	(23)
(FrogSoda)		Why soccer fans suck... you'd never see this at a Major League Baseball game	(84)
(Some Guy)		College basketball game gets Rick-rolled	(62)
(Some Guy)		The 32 NFL teams are a combined $9b in the red - or if you omit the Raiders, $100b in the black	(141)
		How big is Larry Bird in Indiana? Pacers owners want team CEO to fire him as team president. CEO would prefer to resign and take a job with the Knicks instead	(15)
(Some Guy)		Video of Tiger Woods' amazing 20-footer to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational	(53)
		For the very first time, Bobby Knight actually admits that he has no idea what he's doing	(19)
		Congratulations Tottenham Hotspur owner Joe Lewis. You just lost $900 million betting on Bear Stearns. As least you still have that crappy football team, for now	(24)
		Thanks to spiraling TV ratings, March Madness will feature Villanova, Arizona and the Michael Beasleys	(33)
		Mets Carlos Delgado gets cut	(27)
		Cleveland Cavaliers sign NBA's first legally deaf player, but he wears implants so the deaf community doesn't consider him to be deaf enough	(45)
		NHL may face legal action for treating Chris Pronger like a star after treating Chris Simon like a brown star	(46)
		The official NCAA tournament discussion thread	(299)
		Longar to Cummard to Chism for the finish. It's the NCAA Tournament All-Porno Name team	(29)
		Phil Jackson makes moves on sideline reporter Michele Tafoya. Suzy Kolber, Joe Namath unimpressed (with video goodness)	(12)
		During his loss at Indian Wells, Andy Roddick broke at least two rackets, hit a ball out of the stadium, and threw several other tantrums. Reached for comment, Richie Tenenbaum criticizes Roddick's lack of decorum and sportsmanship	(24)
(Journal online.co.uk)		Scottish call for legalized drinking at football matches, because nothing says temperance like 'footie fan'	(7)
(Some Wang)		Actual Headline: "Wang using spring to experiment" It almost seems like they're doing it on purpose now	(13)
		There's poor defense, and then there's the Sonics who allowed the Nuggets to hang a 168-spot on them	(50)
		England finally find a country they can beat in international cricket, plan to start playing New Zealand in football, ice hockey, rugby and other marginal sports in future to pad their record	(15)