Colombia and Venezuela may have been able to avoid war, but soccer matches are another story	(6)
		Windsurfer gets blown half a mile out to sea in high winds. Rescuers are not amused by her sheer stupidity	(7)
(Sports Humor Blog)		Baseball Video: A One-Man Triple Play	(41)
		It looks like the Mets are looking into having their own overpaid steroid user on the payroll	(20)
		Yankees applaud Rays' hustle after tough play at the plate. Just kidding... they're whining because their catcher got an ouchie	(62)
		Math question: If 12 Americans play in England’s top flight, 3 play for decent sides, Reading win 1 more, and if Newcastle continue to suck–how many end up in MLS by next August?	(29)
		After getting publicly ripped by Kobe Bryant and fans for not making any blockbuster personel moves, Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak looks to be the favorite to win NBA Executive of the Year	(15)
		China thwarts terror attack planned for the Olympic Games, gets a 9.0 from all the judges	(107)
		Holy guacamole. USC's Mayo cuts the mustard to ketchup with Stanford and relish a key conference victory. Condiments	(9)
		Some sports fans take the phrase "beat the crowd" a bit literally: 78 wounded in massive soccer brawl, 18 of them with stab wounds	(23)
		England collapse in the first test in NZ. Fellow England fans, discuss this embarassment	(17)
		UNC wins ACC regular season championship. Duke Sucks	(36)
(NBA.com)		Houston wins 18th straight, 9th game in a row by 10 points or more	(41)

(11-A-Side.com)		Chelsea and Manchester United both upset in FA Cup quarterfinals, meaning this year's Final will be first without a "Big 4" club in 17 years	(21)
		No goal-line technlogy for football. "Other sports regularly change the laws of the game to react to new technology...still the referee makes the decision—a man, not a machine"	(35)
(BloodyElbow)		Time to get a new nickname? "World's most dangerous man" Ken Shamrock KO'd for the fifth time in a row	(34)
		A brief history of innovations in curling broadcasting. Yes, it includes the Telestrator	(11)
(Some Guy)		Time for a handful of loyal fans to band together against everyone else. UNC vs. Duke. Duke sucks	(128)
		News headline you likely have never seen before: NASCAR qualifying cancelled due to snow ... in Atlanta	(46)
		UT Lady Vols Coach Pat Summitt dislocated shoulder chasing raccoon. No, this isn't a euphemism... but would make a good one for future reference	(17)
(Some Guy)		12-year-old Connecticut boy applied for WVU football coach position. Skills listed include: "making up new plays to fool defenses in local sandlot games"	(27)
		Chelsea and other EPL clubs are on FSC, while Arsenal will be on the golf channel. Here is our official FA Cup thread	(134)
		Giants coach Tom Coughlin, once in danger of being fired mid-season, is now one of the highest-paid coaches in the league. Countdown to fresh firing rumors in 3... 2... 1	(18)
		Jacksonville Jaguars John Henderson shows off his pre-game ritual, and probably scaring his trainer	(24)
		Mike Hampton waits until his second Spring start to leave game early due to injury	(21)

		Soccer referee goes into hiding after thugs beat the hell out of a lookalike	(11)
(foxsports.com)		America's criminal is ready to play for America's team	(36)
(Some Dork)		About the 100th NFL mock draft you've read since the combine... but this one's with football movie/TV characters	(32)
		Sports Illustrated to publish special Favre edition, expects to attract big advertisers such as the Guinness Book of Records and Vicodin	(30)
		Dietitians slam MLB teams for selling all-you-can-eat seats, calling them symbols of binge eating, supersized fast food and poor nutrition	(23)
		USC is offering a full scholarship to a 5-foot-10 point guard with a bad knee who never played a full season of high-school basketball, averaged 8.6 pts a game this season and the team finished last in its league	(24)
		Colorado Rockies may have too many good players coming down the pipe	(22)
		Some Arizona State fans throwing up the shocker for SI	(32)
		Roger Clemens "stoned"	(15)
(Some Guy)		10 most bizarre athlete superstitions	(62)
		Packers may turn to Trent Green or Mark Brunell to shore up old-ass quarterback vacancy	(16)
		Former Cincinnati Bengals DT Shaun Smith claims Chad Johnson gave head coach Marvin Lewis a little ocho cinco upside the head during a 2006 playoff game	(14)
		#7 Stanford, #8 Xavier, #13 Connecticut, and #24 Clemson gear up for NCAA tournament by losing. Duke sucks	(32)
		It isn't even April and the Baltimore Orioles have already lost a starting pitcher to season-ending surgery. It's gonna be a long season for O's fans	(19)
		Maple Leafs rout Bruins 8-2 to pick up seventh win in ten games. Wait, what?	(88)
		Miami Heat coach Pat Riley will temporarily abandon the team to go scout lottery picks	(17)
		Roy Keane reminds everyone of what a complete @#$hole he was as a player	(90)
		NASCAR driver Greg Biffle thinks a good way to stop cheaters is to take away their victories. You know, cheaters like his teammate Carl Edwards. This should end well	(23)
		Children are offered the chance to train with a top soccer club as an incentive to get them walking to school. Children will also get valuable exercise by falling down and clutching their ankle whenever touched	(16)
		Offseason speculation about Tom Coughlin's job is a little different this year	(26)
		Two-time Pro Bowl LB Terrell Suggs wants the Baltimore Ravens to reclassify him as a defensive end. Why? So he'll earn an extra $814,000 through the franchise player designation	(14)
		One armed high school wrestler. One armed high school athlete trifecta now in play?	(18)
(Some Clutch Fan)		Rockets drink the Mavs blood. They drink it up. Winning streak extended to 17 games	(38)

		Wang gets jerked, claims arm feels stronger	(23)
(Some Guy)		One-armed high-school basketball player	(26)
		Having solved all other problems, Rep. Frank Wolf (R-idiculous) wants to legally prohibit President Bush and other U.S. government officials from using federal money to attend Beijing Olympics	(31)
		A Marinovich quarterback somehow not named Todd arrested for crime involving mind-altering substance	(10)
		Pro golfer Tripp Isenhour takes trying to shoot a birdie too literally	(71)
(Packers News)		Green Bay looking for a veteran QB to mentor Aaron Rodgers. List includes the retired, old-as-dirt, but apparently unkillable, Vinny Testaverde	(42)
		Microsoft CEO trying to buy Seattle's NBA team. Wants to put the BALL in Ballmer	(39)
		Atlanta Braves consider the Philadelphia Phillies the team beat in the NL East. NY Mets too busy in the ER to comment	(15)
		NBA relocation committee to evaluate the future home of the Oklahoma City SuperSonics	(30)
		Latest XFL-wannabe professional football league expected to fold before holding its first practice	(37)
		Patriots add the Tank "I'm not the felon you're thinking of" Williams to their backfield	(57)
		Jeff Gordon and Matt Kenseth point fingers over who's to blame for their accident during the UAW-Dodge 400 at Las Vegas. Next up, sissy slapfight	(31)
		Lawmaker wants FBI to drop Clemens probe. Make that a New York lawmaker. No, not the carpet-bagger, either	(7)
		NHL commissioner Gary Bettman says outdoor game in Chicago's Wrigley Field would "make a lot of sense." As an added bonus, they'll be able to start preparing the field in early October	(61)
(Some Guy)		Worthless question of the day: What if babe Ruth had access to high-tech training tools? Next week: What if Abraham Lincoln could shoot laser beams out of his ass?	(35)
		Soccer wasn't always grass-diving and knee-clenching. Derek Dooley, who lost a leg colliding with a goalkeeper and went on to head Sheffield United, died yesterday at age 78	(40)
(NY Daily News)		Due to hernia surgery, Moises Alou won't be urinating on his hands for the New York Mets for about a month or so	(22)
		Rockets win franchise-record 16th straight game. So much for their season being "over" wiithout Yao	(38)
(Military Times)		The ball that Brett Favre threw on his last play in the NFL is owned by an Army officer who lost both legs in a roadside bomb in Iraq	(58)
		NASCAR continues its uniform enforcement of car configuration rules by giving Robby Gordon back his 100 points and increasing his fines. Wait, what?	(41)

		Former Sacramento King wants to be king of Sacramento	(13)
		Former Yankees star and current broadcaster Bobby Murcer gets all-clear sign in cancer battle	(12)
		Too bad NASCAR drivers aren't awarded points for celebrations, Carl Edwards docked 100 points for infractions	(20)
(Some Guy)		Atlanta Falcons cut QB Joey Harrington. The only question is why it took them this long	(40)
		New York restaurant said to be secretly videotaping customers - such as Patriots QB Tom Brady	(12)
		Tyler Hansbrough is Sports Illustrated's men's college basketball national player of the year. Yes, they already know	(57)
(WFAA)		NBA suspends Dirk Nowitzki one (kind of important) game (with the hottest team in the NBA right now) over flagrant foul	(32)
		Warren Sapp: "According to Warren Sapp, Warren Sapp has retired, so Warren Sapp's fans can say goodbye to Warren Sapp." Penis	(44)
		ESPN doesn't want you to know now-retired Katarina Witt once dropped the towel for Playboy	(38)
(Some Guy)		Chicago Bulls' mascot gets farked up on Jerry Springer Show	(7)
		Chelsea conclude their tie against Olympiacos at Stamford Bridge, Madrid take on Roma, and Porto battle Schalke as we edge ever closer to the quarter finals of the Champions League. Discuss at your leisure	(113)
		"Let's be honest here, they see a white guy out front and they don't take him seriously" ................(uncomfortable pause)	(89)
		Antoine Walker upset that the Minnesota Timberwolves won't buy out his contract without him giving back some of the $9,320,500 he's supposed to make next season. Latrell Sprewell nods in approval	(14)
(WBNG-TV)		Dear ESPN: fark you. Love, small market sportscaster guy	(66)
		Buffalo Sabres take advantage of a 5-on-4 situation to score the go-ahead goal on Philadelphia. The only problem is that it was supposed to be 4-on-4 at the time	(85)
		#1 North Carolina pounds Florida State, set themselves up for a showdown with the University That Sucks™	(19)
		Security for 2012 Olympics to include 500,000 CCTV cameras, will cost £600m. Big Brother wins gold, silver and bronze	(10)
(NY Daily News)		It has gotten so absurd for the Mets that now even the job-seeking replacements for the injured players are getting injured	(20)
(The Wicked Wrister)		Scott Hamilton and friends show us why figure skating and hockey are mutually exclusive	(74)
		Roger Federer faces second consecutive loss in Dubai. Suck it, lobs	(20)

		NFL calls Shanahanigans on report the Broncos taped the Chargers practices	(38)
(Some Guy)		Allison Stokke sets freshman pole vaulting record at University of California, has new picture taken	(108)
		Kansas coach Bill Self on 109-51 victory: "[N]obody likes to win that way, by that margin.” Later revises his statement to say "except for that douchenozzle Belichick and the Patriots"	(42)
		That Red Sox Nation thing sure is overrated. Except for the man getting a beatdown last weekend in Boston for wearing a Yankee hat	(79)
		Tampa Bay Bucs pick up Brian Griese and meet with Warrick Dunn, forcing team to put in a handicapped ramp at training camp per the ADA	(22)
		ESPN's annual Mock NBA Draft, or, as it will be known this year, "How Isiah will find a way to set the bar even lower."	(32)
(Palm Beach Post)		Players vote Pat Riley the coach they would least like to play for, cite 'accountability' as main reason	(21)
		Red Sox scout arrested for masturbating in public, oh the shame he's now a Yankee for life	(130)
(Some Guy)		AC Milan take on Arsenal and Man Utd battle Lyon. It's do or die and this is your leg 2 knockout round Champions League discussion thread	(163)
		Red Sox think WWRBD? What Would Ricky Bobby Do? (Part 2). Answer: Of course we'll add a giant Coca-Cola sign next to the Green Monster & call it family seating	(60)
		Houston Astros owner says Congress’ focus on steroids in baseball was "unfortunate"	(15)
		After losing five of their last eight games, the defending NCAA men's basketball champion may not even make the tournament. 10 bonus points if you even remember which school without clicking the link	(38)
		Proving his worth as a head coach independent of his father, Pat Knight leads Texas Tech to its worst defeat ever -- two games after he led Texas Tech to its worst defeat ever	(21)
		In honor of Brett Favre, here's a compilation of some of his all-time greatest interceptions	(59)
		If the St. Louis Rams sign concussion-prone QB Trent Green, they must have lost their minds... just like Trent Green	(10)
		Sam Cassell clears waivers, will bring his "talent when I feel like it" attitude to Boston	(31)
		Brett Favre finally puts a fork in his ass	(512)
(The Age)		It's only March, but here's the international Sports Photo of the Year	(117)
(Some Guy)		The most accurate field goal kicker in NFL history just retired. Bet you can't name him without clicking on "read the article," either	(48)
(Some Guy)		Ovechkin scores a hat trick, hits two homers and makes a 43-yard field goal as the Capitals destroy the Bruins 10-2	(62)
		In response to the oppressive government, high poverty and astronomical inflation, Nanny State takes hard line, contemplates not allowing Zimbabwean athletes to compete in the UK. Wait, what?	(9)
		English soccer fans found to pay more than even Toronto Maple Leafs fans for privilege of watching their team lose	(7)
		Bears send Brian Griese back to Tampa Bay for a draft pick where he's expected to compete for the starting job, eat a lot of taffy	(18)

(GCobb.com)		The Philadelphia Eagles tried to pry Randy Moss away from the New England Patriots. Randy Moss: "Um, I'm trying to WIN a Super Bowl"	(50)
		Cubs outfielder Felix Pie endures twisted testicle. The injury is driving him nuts, but he'll continue playing ball in no time. Scrotum	(26)
(Some Guy)		16th National Baseball Championship began today in Pakistan. Wait, they play baseball in Pakistan?	(8)
		Patriots enter progressive three-year descent into turmoil	(69)
(82 Games)		The Shaq sinkhole explained mathematically	(40)
(NY Times)		ESPN starts film production business. First film: "No, We're Never Going to Shut Up and Just Report the Game Scores"	(41)
		AC Milan's Kaka pleads for protection from the thugs at Arsenal during tomorrow's Champions League match. Asinine tag subs in at the third minute because Gattuso sent the Irony tag off with a career-ending injury	(33)
		Sox closer Papelbon looks to capitalize on his poor dancing by hosting and starring in his own version of "Dancing with the Stars"	(24)
		C Is for Cookie. L is for Lame. Red Sox compete in Cookie Bake Off	(18)
(Daaaryyl, Daaaryyl, Daaaryyl!)		Strawberry back to work with Mets as "special instructor" during spring training. Players seen practicing rolling $20 bills and pistolwhipping women	(18)
(Some Guy)		ESPN's Digger Phelps had fun in Kansas Saturday night, doing the white man's overbite with a cute Jayhawks cheerleader	(26)
		Ben Roethlisberger hits the payday jackpot, signing $102 million contract with $36 million in guaranteed money. Steeler fans pray to Steely McBeam that the contract has a "no motorcycles" clause	(127)
		Nothing says "We want you to stick around with our team for many years" like paying the guy who finished third in MVP voting a whopping $670,000 salary. For some reason, Prince Fielder isn't feeling the love	(61)
		The top 10 worst football kits. In other news, Leo Sayer apparently played for Coventry in 1978. The Sun is there	(54)
		No. 19 Michigan State Spartans hit 78 percent of their first half shots en route to pounding No. 12 Indiana, stealing an O and an I from Hoosiers. Duke sucks	(28)
		The East Kentucky Miners dig up 194 points against the Atlanta Krunk. In other news, there's a basketball team called the Atlanta Krunk	(22)
		Good: Signing Lance Briggs to a six-year deal. Bad: Letting Bernard Berrian go. Ugly: To a division rival	(42)
		Best backup RB in the NFL signs with Falcons, going from almost first to almost worst	(45)
		Rockets continue streak, win 15th in a row. YAO RLY	(22)