Jason Kidd trade could be back on after Mavs agree to include Keith Van Horn's corpse	(4)
(Some Guy)		NHL to sell advertising on jerseys	(28)
(Some Guy)		Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood healthy during first day of spring training. Future headline: Kerry Wood out for season after slicing his hand open trying to open up a beer	(6)
		Woman breaks backstroke world record, another breaks longest standing freestyle American record, and some guy named Michael Phelps wins too	(7)
		NBA commissioner David Stern turns his attention to Europe, requests an encore performance of "The Final Countdown"	(14)
		NCAA football rules committee attempting to wreck college football by shortening playing time	(44)
		Can Toyota make it to Victory Lane? Will Goodyear's tires melt down (again)? Can Junior come through for Hendrick? And where are the Fords? All this and more as we "turn left and go REALLY fast" in Daytona today	(802)
		The NY Post objectively analyzes report saying Jeter is worst fielding shortstop. Just kidding... they're whining because the report was presented in Boston	(37)
		It's not baseball season in Chicago until litigation begins between the Cubs and the owners of rooftops across the street from Wrigley Field	(32)
		Kelly Pavlik remains undefeated with unanimous decision win over Jermain Taylor, calls Joe Calzaghe a sissy and says he'll fight him any time, any place. OK, that second part is wishful thinking	(11)
(Berkshire Eagle)		By day, he's an engineer working for the state. By night, he watches women don tight shorts, strap on roller skates, and beat each other up	(4)
		NBA Commissioner David Stern says Seattle will have an NBA franchise for centuries to come, and the NBA is resolutely committed to a Pacific Northwest presence. Just kidding. He said the Sonics leaving is inevitable	(58)
(MLB.com)		Carlos Beltran: "To Jimmy Rollins: we are the team to beat."	(55)
		Miami Dolphins executive comes out in favor of English Premier League games being played in Dolphin Stadium, calls critics "ankle biters"	(14)
		20 years after the Gretzky trade and 28 years after the Miracle on Ice, American players from even the most southern states are excelling at hockey. Suck it, poutine-eatin' toque-wearers	(55)

(NY Daily News)		Forgetting who is retired and who will be throwing baseballs at over 80 MPH at him, Yankees catcher Jorge Posada says he believes former teammate Clemens over current teammate Pettitte	(15)
(Some Guy)		Just because you have lost an eye and are under treatment for cancer is no reason to shoot over-par at golf. Even if you are 4 years old. The heartwarming story of Kyle Lograsso	(8)
		It ain't over till the Yogi Berra Museum benches Roger Clemens' Yankees jersey	(5)
(Some Race Guy)		Tony Stewart wins Nationwide Series season opener at Daytona, punches Kurt Busch for good luck	(12)
		NBA stars help rebuild homes destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Shaquille O'Neal will provide the bricks	(68)
(Sporting News)		Kings send Mike Bibby's joyless game to Atlanta for Larry, Darryl, and his other brother Darryl	(12)
		New study reaches around and confirms that Derek Jeter is the worst fielding shortstop in Major League Baseball	(115)
		The bad news: the Phillies acquire a mediocre starting pitcher to aid their mediocre starting pitching. The good news: his wife is smokin' hot (with pic)	(31)
(Some Guy)		Final Madden 08 roster update expected today. No word yet if they added a feature where the Pats choke in final 2 minutes of games	(51)
(Some Redneck)		F1 champion Jacques Villeneuve proves completely incapable of controlling a Cup car, loses his NASCAR ride before the season even gets underway	(50)
(Buffalo News)		Richard Zednik released from Buffalo hospital and is back in Florida recovering from neck wound, likely farking his ridiculously hot wife	(27)
		Byron Leftwich, Alge Crumpler among latest group of Falcons unceremoniously dumped by new management... which may be the first signs of intelligent life in Atlanta football since the Dan Reeves era	(30)
		Todays FA cup thread. Man U vs Arsenal, while Chelsea gets their Back back	(66)
		As spring training opens, pitcher for newly-reborn Tampa Bay Rays suggests they could make the playoffs this year. In related news, 2008 may also witness Duke Nukem Forever and peace in the MidEast	(15)
(NASCAR)		Dale Jr. goes 1 for 1 in his Hendrick Nationwide Series car... on failing tech and getting his car impounded, that is	(23)
		In the midst of the English Premiership 39th game imbroglio, Sepp Blatter reminds everyone that he's for strict affirmative action quotas	(4)
		"A new series entitled Football Hurts doesn't raise hopes of a quality-TV experience. What might we be in for? 50 Most Entertaining Instances of Players Getting Hit in the Nuts?"	(14)
		Kids' soccer being threatened by aggression, violence and attacks on refs. And that's just by the parents	(5)
(Some Guy)		Terrell Owens throws down a wicked dunk during the NBA All Star Celebrity Game	(36)

		The only city that wants the NBA All-Star game, New Orleans, should get to host it permanently	(14)
(orato.com)		The second coolest job in motorsports: the NASCAR jackman	(11)
(The Orange County Register)		He's 0-27. It's his last high school match. Seconds left. The young wrestler's down by one point....Strike up the Rocky soundtrack and get out your hankies	(42)
		Fans at Daytona Speed Week go for "White Trash" award gold Events include race track marriages, hiding in trash cans and dollar-bill fishing. Git 'er done	(10)
		Today's episode of "Not Bloody Likely, Old Chap" brought to you by the class action lawsuit filed in New Orleans seeking $100 million dollars in damages against the Patriots for allegedly videotaping the Rams in SB XXXVI	(36)
		Toothpaste back in the (You)Tube: ESPN did indeed order video hosting site yank Chris Berman videos	(13)
		Scotland's first gay football team, the fabulous HotScots FC, prepare to face English gay rivals, jokes about playing for the other side	(12)
(news8austin.com)		13,000 hippies compete in nation's first green marathon. Town officials hope that they'll just keep running	(18)
(palm beach post)		Zach Thomas is going to be playing for the New England Patriots	(29)
		Boston Celtic Brian Scalabrine, who is white: "The misperception of our league is definitely race-driven"	(15)
		Red Sox ace Josh Beckett takes one from Curt Schilling's playbook by showing up at spring training with a gut. Please post all "Jr. Baconator" jokes to the right	(25)
		Scot sets new record for cycling around the world. His worst experience? An elderly driver in Louisiana	(5)
		The only thing Roger Clemens' Congressional hearing proved is that we were all wrong about his legal counsel being incompetent	(7)
(Michigan Daily)		Michigan football is so desperate to beat Ohio State they held open tryouts	(38)
(Some Guy)		Sixteen out of sixteen LA Kings fans agree: Rob Blake should go away	(33)
		Nuggets and Knicks may trade more than punches	(29)
		The four horsemen gather their gear and start mounting up on the news that England has actually won a cricket match	(13)
		English Premier League: We want our teams to play an extra game abroad every season. FIFA: Do it, and kiss your dreams of hosting World Cup 2018 goodbye	(31)
(Some Puckwit)		It's taken a lot of work, but after 59 gruelling attempts this season, the Toronto Maple Leafs have finally hit the bottom of the Eastern Conference. Just those pesky Kings to go now	(59)
		Philadelphia 76ers executive can't understand why fans aren't coming out in droves to watch a 23-30 team full of no-names that's on the verge of missing the playoffs	(27)
		Kobe Bryant gives the finger... a pass on going through surgery until the end of the season	(7)
		That "smoking gun" report that showed Barry Bonds failed a drug test one month after breaking the home run record? Um... nevermind	(55)
		Pedro Martinez says he'd like to finish his career with the New York Mets. Most Mets fans stunned because they thought his career was finished two years ago	(23)
		College baseball player, 53, set to begin senior season; tells kids to get off his infield	(9)
		The 50 greatest sports movies: Is your favorite here? Mine neither	(199)
		Deaf soccer team in Iraq has huge advantage over opponents: No distractions from gunfire and explosions, plus cannot hear the refs whistle	(4)
		Speedo unveils new Olympic swimsuit that completely hides the junk (pic)	(31)
		17-year-old British girl has become the youngest person to row across the Atlantic Ocean	(24)

(Some Guy)		Monica Seles retires from professional tennis, says she'll take a stab at broadcasting career	(23)
		73*	(30)
(NewsVine)		NFL wants judge who ruled against them in Vick matter disqualified	(20)
		Bush to pardon Clemens? Say it ain't Sosa	(36)
(Philly Burbs)		A true Eagles fan to the end, Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-Eagles Nation) is the only congressman not to vote for resolution honoring the New York Giants, no doubt because it would have been like voting for Satan	(46)
(Some Guy)		So you're saying there's a chance? ESPN's leggy sexpot Erin Andrews: "I'm dating... but not exclusively." Giggity	(57)
(Some Left Turn)		Two races, two wins. Dale Jr. wins his second race with Hendrick. Maybe the conspiracy theorists last season were right after all	(44)
		Are professional sports ready for robot a referee? It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are penalized	(29)
		Here are Sportsline's MLB preseason power rankings for everyone to argue over	(148)
		Following academic cheating scandal, Florida State puts all sports teams on probation for two years. Cue whining from field hockey team in three... two... one...	(25)
		Second-place finisher in around-the-world sailing race reflects on his plans after returning home. "I’m planning to have a beer, a shower and then sleep. That said, I’ll probably be on the floor after one beer"	(8)
		And now, to determine once and for all who's telling the truth in the Roger Clemens vs. Brian McNamee testimonies, we have... a facial expressions expert	(22)
(LoHud.com)		Red Sox Nation now extends into the suburbs of New York City on news that Curt Schilling has eaten all the pork products in New England and must have more	(27)
		NFL commissioner Roger Goodell tells Sen. Arlen Specter that Bill Belichick has been illegally taping opponents' defensive signals since 2000. We're gonna need a whole truckload of asterisks	(290)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)		Marvin Lewis announces that the Cincinnati Bengals have no plans to trade away their primary source of headaches	(21)
		Jason Kidd to Dallas Mavericks deal gets blocked by a backup forward. That's right -- a *backup* forward	(35)
		Ryan Dempster of the Cubs predicts World Series victory this year. Subby predicts 2008 Cubs World Series shirts to be worn by Kenyans after their Super Bowl XLII Champion Patriots shirts disintegrate	(46)
		AC Milan's Ronaldo falls to ground in agony after tackle, diagnosed with ruptured knee tendon, out nine months. Man U's Ronaldo, who apparently ruptures knee tendon on every tackle, unavailable for comment	(29)
(The Wicked Wrister)		The top five hot babes of women's college hockey. Duke sucks	(64)
(Some Guy)		Dick Vitale endorses Bob Knight as new basketball coach for South Carolina Gamecocks. "Can you imagine Steve Spurrier and Knight at the same school?"	(14)
		Brady Quinn taunts gays outside Ohio nightclub. That's not particularly courageous	(66)

		A concise summary of the Roger Clemens hearings that shows extreme d-baggery from both the Rocket and Congress	(44)
		Tim Hardaway doesn't hate gay people anymore	(17)
		Female referee removed from officiating game because that would be putting a woman in a position of authority over boys. Where is that Kansas tag?	(61)
		NBA wants to expand into Europe with five new franchises. Fans in New York still waiting for theirs to show up	(33)
		Abdul-Jabbar takes up blogging. No, not the former Miami Dolphins running back, the other one	(13)
		Slate.com answers the question we've all been pondering: "Why on Earth would you inject vitamins into your butt?"	(24)
(Dallas Morning News)		The NBA Western Conference dominoes continue to fall as Jason Kidd returns to the Dallas Mavericks	(90)
		Knicks have some swampland in Florida they would like to sell you	(12)
		Bayern Munich may have to start 41-year-old backup goalkeeper in place of ill starter after regular backup goalkeeper hurts himself tying his shoes. No, really	(21)
		Indiana University accused of major basketball recruiting violations by the NCAA. U of Illinois fans nod in approval, try not to bust out laughing	(89)
		David Stern refuses to have rim for Dunk Contest raised saying it clashes with the intent to apply as many NBA rules to All-Star Weekend contests as possible. Why stop there? They should have refs ready to call traveling and technicals	(36)
		Sporting News blogger suggests NBA all-stars "pick teams" for game; Next day, Washington Post columnist has a stunningly similar idea	(12)
		"Andy, tell me... where did you learn to use HGH?" "I learned it from you, Dad... I learned it from you"	(66)
(Some Guy)		2007 defending Tour de France champion and team barred from competing in 2008 due to doping allegations	(27)
		New York Mets to import the "Home Run Apple" to Citi Field when it opens next year. Mets fans weep tacky tears of joy	(27)
		Following the success of the outdoor NHL game in Buffalo, the Chicago Blackhawks look into the possibilty of a game at Soldier Field. Cool tag somewhat of an understatement	(33)
		Shine up those rose-colored glasses Cub fans, pitchers and catchers report today	(40)
		Danica Patrick better than all other racing drivers, at least as far as SI covers go (possibly Not safe for work)	(21)
(East Valley Tribune)		Chicago Cubs launch 2008 season with three early losses	(23)
(The Sporting News)		Kentucky suffers worst men's basketball loss since 1989. Duke sucks	(42)
(Move the Needle.net)		Report: Clemens talked HGH with Pettitte nearly ten years ago, then later changed story and said it was his wife's	(93)
		Officials are optimistic of a merger between the Indycar series and the Champ Car World Series in the next couple days...the 15 fans left say "It's about farking time"	(24)
		NY Giants assure there will be at least one Tecmo Super Bowl player in the league through 2010	(29)

		The latest chapter in the Reggie Bush benefits lawsuit: witness intimidation	(27)
		ESPN says it will suspend Chris Berman for outrageous actions shown on videos released on web. Just kidding, the network defends him for behavior that happened "years ago"	(48)
		Vancouver Olympics needs 25,000 volunteers: 100 to take tickets and the rest to collect urine samples	(47)
(MMA.com)		Rumored fight between Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua announce fight will happen at UFC 85 in June at London's O2 Arena	(28)
(Toronto Sun)		Toronto asks, "Can we host an outdoor hockey game? All the cool cities are doing it."	(36)
		NASCAR gives Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch six-race probation for treating Daytona practice session like bumper cars at an amusement park	(21)
		American National Unimotorcyclists Society. That's A.N.U.S. for short	(9)
		Showing the same personnel acumen and skill at talent evaluation that landed them their new coach, the Redskins said to be pursuing Chad Johnson	(44)
		We may have our first women's basketball player to go mainstream; 6-foot-7 high school junior can "dunk with ease" (with amazing video)	(51)
		♪ Livan, Livan likes his money ♪ He makes a lot they say ♪ Spend his days counting ♪ In a garage by the Metrodome ♪	(19)
		NFL Pro Bowl draws highest ratings since 2000	(23)
		Former Leafs GM, John Ferguson Jr., to be an analyst for TSN for the upcoming NHL trade deadline. TSN will give up two first round draft picks but retain the rights to any analyst over the age of thirty	(30)
(Luol's Dong)		NFL extends contract with EA and Madden. Bring on the mediocrity	(65)
		Vikings DE Kenechi Udeze diagnosed with Leukemia	(19)
		Not news: Scoring 13 points in a college basketball game. News: Player doesn’t have a right hand. Fark: He gave up a soccer scholarship to be a walk-on with the basketball team	(15)
		.05... .04... .03... .02... .02.... .02... .02... foul (finally)	(61)
(Some Guy)		After his uninspired call of Tyree's amazing catch, someone answers the question: What if Joe Buck was there during other amazing moments in history? (LGT video)	(69)
		With the game tied, the ball 70 feet from the basket, and 0.1 seconds to go, referee calls game-deciding foul	(37)
(NY Times)		The science of NASCAR. Basically it's start, turn left, keep doing it, stop	(77)
(Buffalo News)		Complete rundown on how Richard Zednik's life was saved, with pic of hot vascular surgeon lady	(18)
		Greg Maddux will pitch at least one more year, then may be old enough to play for the Mighty Ducks	(22)
(cupscene.com)		No. 3 could make return to NASCAR. No, not because there's another Earnhardt, but because there's a relative of the driver who had the number even before Dale, Sr.	(19)
		The NCAA actually does something right? An LSU Tiger is granted a sixth year of eligibility (medical redshirt) after missing all of 2005 and 2006. Bonus: The kid already has his degree	(20)
		If you're planning to buy a Formula 1 car, they're duty-free in Zurich this month. No stowing in the overhead locker	(40)
		Shaq surprised by unusual techniques the Phoenix Suns employ during practice. They do all this weird stuff called "running"	(19)
(Failure magazine)		Into sin air: Sex, drugs and violence on Mount Everest	(10)
		U.S. says no to Premiership games -- maybe	(34)
		Sports Illustrated editor irate over leak of Last Supper cover idea. Guess there'll be no Tiger as Jesus or Fuzzy Zoeller as Judas after all	(5)
		Moving from one tackle sport to the next: An NFL fan's guide to NASCAR	(37)
		What if Drew Bledsoe never got hurt by Mo Lewis? This writer seems to think he'd win four Super Bowls	(26)
		Slimy Rich Rodriguez's first legal step at weaseling out of his $4m buyout was shot down in the West Virginia courts. Gosh, it is like one side has a home field advantage or something	(50)
(Some Super Bowl champion)		Giants reward kicker Lawrence Tynes for kicking them to the Super Bowl with a new 5-year contract. Tag is for Giants fans who know what he's capable of	(44)
		Patty Hearst's dog wins big at Westminster Dog Show. Good girl, Tania	(16)

		Super Bowl hero David Tyree was arrested for drug dealing just three years ago	(78)
		Nancy Benoit? The one murdered by her husband, WWE wrestler Chris Benoit? You bet Hustler has nude photos of her	(52)
		The REAL victim of America's foreclosure crisis: Latrell Sprewell	(31)
		New York Yankee closer phenom Joba Chamberlain wouldn't mind staying a closer phenom	(34)
		Retired MLB pitcher/ass-clown John Rocker opens his mouth, says baseball knew he was on steroids, suggests Bud Selig kill himself. Yeah, that sounds about right	(34)
		Player you've never heard of on a team you've never heard of in a league you've never heard of is doing better after lifesaving surgery	(86)
		More hockey news from Florida, two Montreal Canadiens arrested, one for resisting an officer, the other for purse snatching	(26)
		Delhomme uses ancient Chinese Rice Lifting to make his rebuilt elbow stronger, faster, able to throw more pinpoint interceptions	(27)
		Best college hockey fight you'll see today, complete with guy coming out of the penalty box to keep things going and both goaltenders going toe-to-toe (video)	(55)
(Some Guy)		NBC is planning a curling reality show, Jon Bon Jovi and Springsteen to be contestants	(34)
		Peter Forsberg needs one more week before setting a timetable on when he will decide his time frame for deciding if he will come back. Then he will decide on the team after deciding on the timetable for deciding on which team he will sign with	(20)
		With his technical advisory role on "Semi-Pro" over, Larry Brown now available to take over Chicago Bulls as coach	(9)
		NFL Pro Bowl going the way of the NHL All-Star Game: Endangered	(51)
		NYC Parks Department is already warning fans planning to bring wrenches and loot bags to the last games at Shea and Yankee Stadiums this fall to think again	(36)
		Celtics beat Spurs with one Garnett tied behind their back, now 16-0 against the vaunted Western Conference	(66)
		NCAA Division I football adopts NFL rule, requires schools to interview token minority candidate for any vacant head coach position before hiring the good ol' boy they really want to hire	(58)
		Cub fans: maybe never	(59)
		NASCAR mandates that everyone must wear long pants and closed toe shoes in the garage and the pits... well, everyone except Ashley Judd	(37)
		Carmelo moves his record against Lebron to 8-2. But but but Nuggets	(26)
(Sail World)		Female wins historic Tasmanian sailing race for the first time in 110 years. Will receive award as soon as she stops spinning around	(7)
(Some file shredder)		The nation's No. 1 football recruit, QB Terrelle Pryor, has reportedly taken Michigan off his list and is down to Ohio State and Penn State. Tomorrow though, he'll add a random school just for more attention	(67)
		After 17 years with the Royals, Mike Sweeney signs with the A's -- subsequently hurts back signing contract	(21)