Somewhere in South America, a village is getting a shipment of "19-0" T-shirts. Giants upset Patriots 17-14 to win Super Bowl	(1141)
		American correspondent tries to explain to British audience just how American Armoured Wankball turned into such big business	(24)
(Some Guy)		Job you're glad is not yours: answering the phones right now at Fox 24 in Arkansas, who farked up and lost their Super Bowl feed	(57)
		Brawl at high school soccer match after coach chokes opposing team member; "I see the coach come over and grab one of our players, and I'm thinking, 'Can he do that?' "	(3)
(NFL.com)		Super Bowl thread, part deux	(2284)
(Lame Excuse)		Loud cameras responsible for Tiger Woods' poor performance in Dubai. No word what ruined Colin Montgomerie's game	(10)
		Arthur Blank outlines how he is going to completely overhaul the Atlanta Falcons in the off-season	(8)
		Snowboarders plopped across the middle of runs chatting on cellphones, gondola cars reeking of smoke, and Red Bull cans littering the snow under lifts are all examples of poor shrediquette	(55)
		Bode Miller wins "super-combined World Cup". In other news, they've been letting Homestar Runner name sporting events	(5)
		Patriots. Giants. 'Nuff said	(1769)
		Jerry O'Connell wants something to be done about Boston's sports "monopoly." For those playing along at home, the guy who was in a film about talking cockroaches wants to have a say over how things are managed in sports	(25)
(NY Times)		NFL report indicates spy was sighted at practice before SB36. Sadly for the haters, the spy was caught checking on the Patriots	(44)
		Will it be 19 and 0? Have we finally found a game that Eli cares about playing in? Will Matt Light get stuck in between Michael Strahan's front teeth? Super Bowl pre-game discussion/smack talk thread	(654)
		By-the-half-hour breakdown of Super Bowl TV coverage today. Or, "when it's a good time for a beer run" (hint: Paula Abdul song at 4:00)	(31)
		Brock Lesnar taps out in 90 seconds in his UFC debut. FAIL	(83)
		Flyers now have more hat-tricks than suspensions as Mike Knuble blanks Ducks 3-0	(17)
		Professional darts becoming the rock and roll of the pro sports world	(20)
		Ronaldo has agreed a new contract at Manchester United that will enable him to buy nine hundred vice girls every week	(19)
		Joe Montana loses his cool when someone takes a picture of him at a party	(27)
		Kurt Warner heard about the new allegation that the Patriots secretly taped the Rams' last practice before the 2002 Super Bowl, and he's setting aside all that Christian turn-the-other-cheek stuff	(140)
		The Superbowl might possibly make the top 10 World sports events this wekend (after India Aus cricket, various rugby matches and Barc/Real/Man U games) but even if the Giants win it won't be as big a shock as Wales beating Eng at Twickenham	(22)

		Fast and furious One-day Tri-series cricket set to start at the Gabba. Warnie doll excited	(37)
(Some Guy)		Art Monk no longer the best player not to be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame	(143)
		Patriots defeated Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI due to unheralded talent, a better game plan, superior execution, and a spunky but hunky quarterback. Just kidding. They illegally filmed the Rams' final practice before the game	(261)
		Goodell defends destroying Pats' tapes, saying it was to protect the identities of undercover NFL officials... or something like that	(60)
		It's snowing but that doesn't stop the premier league - Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea, and 'that other one' are all in action in today's matches	(68)
		"19-0" was already trademarked by the Denver Broncos to celebrate their perfect season in 1998	(68)
		If the Pats lose, Gisele Bundchen says she'll run naked through mid-town Manhattan. GO GIANTS	(48)
(Some Guy)		You should play hockey: The Top 10 Hottest Hockey Wives & Girlfriends	(56)

(Some Guy)		Girls basketball coach asked to step down after allowing her players to watch the R-rated film Old School. Frank "The Tank" Ricard unavailable for comment	(22)
		Report: Victim in Jim Leyritz's DUI fatal car crash was driving drunk herself	(27)
		ESPN's Chris Berman flips the fark out during taping (not safe for work language)	(37)
		Ohio Senator wants 1948 Browns listed as an undefeated NFL champion. Don Shula ready to throw the asterisk challenge flag	(32)
		For a change, the Mets do not blow "a 7 games with 17 games to play " advantage and sign Johan Santana for $150M over 7 years	(39)
		Stay classy San Diego. No, really...or you might get banned from buying season tickets	(31)
		Let's Ram it	(18)
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)		The Los Angeles Lakers are the new Western Conference Pau-erhouse	(49)
		NY Post discovers Patriots filed for "19-0" trademark three weeks ago; Newspaper responds by filing for "18-1" trademark	(23)
		Bill Simmons abandons his Brady-fellating ways and picks the Giants. Just kidding, actually he compares the Patriots to a tidal wave and gives 25 points	(40)
		If the Patriots don't crush the Giants on Sunday, their legacy will be more "Evander Holyfield" than "Muhammad Ali"	(29)
		Nashville Predators RW J.P. Dumont extends scoring streak to 16 games, now trails Wayne Gretzky's record by only 35 games	(12)
		Scotland declines to play a friendly exhibition game of soccer against England, stating that they don't want a reenactment of the Apollo Creed/Ivan Drago fight from "Rocky IV"	(23)
		The Madden NFL 08 videogame favors the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Don't place any bets until you hear back from Street Fighter II: Champion Edition	(37)
		After breaking multiple offensive records this season, the Patriots will only score 3 points in the Super Bowl, says an ESPN writer desperate to make a name for himself	(67)
		Guess which Patriot could be setting up a Super Bowl menage a trois for himself? Hint: It's not who you think it is	(18)
		How pigeon racing became a glamorous million-dollar-a-race spectator sport. Yeah, pigeon racing	(8)
(Some Guy)		Who wins? '27 Yankees or 2004 Red Sox? '97 Red Wings or '86 Oilers? '96 Bulls or '01 Lakers? '72 Dolphins or '08 Patriots? Compare them all	(61)
		Since nothing else needs to be done in Pennsylvania or Congress, Arlen Specter wants the NFL Commissioner to answer questions about Spygate	(21)
		Can a horse named Rhetorically win a race?	(16)
		Shaquille O'Neal's record of 14 consecutive All-Star appearances has come to an end	(19)
		Competitive eating champ Joey Chestnut wins again. 121 chickens would clap for him but well, you know	(17)
		"And it all is because of the whims of a 17-year-old with pimples that can't make up his darn mind"	(9)
		Don't worry, Mets fans - the odds of the Santana deal collapsing are the same as the odds a team would blow a 7-game lead with 17 to go. No worries. Really	(61)
(Bloomberg)		NFLPA may go on strike. T.O. sobs, "It's not fair."	(43)
		News: NFL cracking down on large Super Bowl watch parties. Fark: at churches	(63)
		Because it has absolutely nothing better to do this week, and no one's ever done it before, ESPN names the top 10 QBs in NFL history	(107)
		Actual quote: "I did Tom Brady (Tuesday), and right before the Super Bowl, it's a surprise for everybody. Saturday night, I'm gonna cut it off. Saturday night, we're gonna cut it really, really off"	(20)
		Washington Capitals' Alex Ovechkin scores three goals against Montreal. It's not enough, so he scores a fourth in overtime. Bonus: He also broke his nose and had stitches during the game. Now *that's* hardcore	(63)

		Celtics beat the Mavericks. Without KG. Suck it, doubters	(54)
		Psst. The Giants Superbowl Championship parade will be on Super Tuesday at 11AM in lower Manhattan. But don't tell anyone as we don't want to jinx them	(35)
		Happy Birthday to baseball pioneer Jackie Robinson, who was also the first basketball player to "use the dunk as a part of his repertoire"	(8)
(Some Irishman)		Defensive genius Jon Tenuta joins the Notre Dame football staff. That sound you just heard was Rich Rodriguez and Pete Carroll soiling themselves	(30)
		What we know about female network TV viewers: They would rather date Eli Manning over Tom Brady	(31)
		Rivals.com ranks the best combined football + basketball schools since 1998. Florida owns Ohio State yet again	(21)
		Pacman has one set of charges dismissed. One down, ten or eleven to go	(7)
		Oakland Raiders sign Hall of Fame WR James Lofton as offensive coach, which comes as a complete surprise to head coach Lame Kifflin	(25)
		Magic Johnson on the sad sack New York Knicks, who currently stand 17 games below .500: "There's no way the Knicks won't make the playoffs"	(19)
		New hockey salary database allows you to discover how much your favourite NHL player makes. Extra "u" is OK, since Americans don't know of any NHL players	(31)
		How to attend the Super Bowl on $20 a day	(18)
		Another ESPN personality loves the F-word; Chris Berman goes off(Not safe for work)	(64)
		Damon Stoudamire to sign with the Spurs. No word on whether he's planning to bring enough weed for the entire team	(10)
		Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester keeps surviving things that rhyme with 'umor'	(25)
		Finally, it is acceptable in Tennessee for girls in tights to grab the balls of boys in tights	(37)
		The longest winning streak in college sports belongs to the Trinity squash team with 176 consecutive victories. Suck it, 18-0 Patriots	(16)
		Kansas City Chief Larry Johnson on how much his watch cost: "300." Reporter: "Dollars?". Johnson: "Thousand"	(46)
		The ten worst Superbowl Half-Time shows of all time	(74)
(Speed TV)		John Force returns to the cockpit for the first time since his September near fatal crash, goes 327mph on his first full run, never saw the cop behind the rock with the radar gun	(11)
(NY Daily News)		If you bet that Randy Moss would be the first New England Patriot to start flapping his gums at the New York Giants, you may collect your winnings now	(68)
		Ain't no party like a PGA party because a PGA party don't stop	(6)
		So loverboy was all "Oh, no you di'int" and Plax was like "Oh, it's on"	(38)
		#2 Kansas suffers their first loss of the season, losing to #22 Kansas State. Duke sucks	(31)
		Diego Maradona says he's sorry for his "Hand of God" goal at the 1986 World Cup quarterfinals: "If I could apologise and go back and change history I would. But the goal is still a goal"	(12)
		Despite Johan Santana trade, Philadelphia Phillies still believe they can defeat the Mets, National League East, Taliban	(71)
(The Sporting News)		Bob Huggins: Banana Man	(16)
		Couple offers up Phoenix Super Bowl house rental for $1,000 per day. Package includes transportation, food and drinks, strippers	(6)
		LeBron James outscores entire Trail Blazers team in fourth quarter, makes last-second layup to beat Portland	(34)
		NHL legend Guy Lafleur to be charged with perjury, not recycling his batteries	(15)
(WSBTV)		Vick's dogs to appear in doggie "Real World" show	(22)
		England ready to lose to France at Six Nations Rugby	(13)
		Dear Buffalo, we still like you, but we need to see other people with more money and better prospects. Sincerely, the Bills	(49)
		92-year-old blind golfer scores hole-in-one. "It was my first hole-in-one, and I never saw it"	(7)
		Is John Daly golf's answer to Britney Spears?	(27)
		Dr. Ric Romero on the Super Bowl: Heart attacks increase during stressful games. "If it's a blowout, less so, but if it's the nailbiters, with a field goal or touchdown in the last few seconds, it's more stressful"	(18)

		Not nearly as many people as expected took advantage of temporary detox center at X-Games	(10)
		MLB asked umpires to sign authorizations allowing the sport to conduct financial backgrounds checks, but umps balked	(11)
(WTAE-TV)		Busch Light, Natural Light and Keystone Light rated best beers for Super Bowl parties	(253)
(Sporting News)		Deadspin's Will Leitch calls Super Bowl Media Day "the most vapid thing I've seen in my life. And I make bathroom jokes and post dopey pictures of people getting hit the groin for a LIVING"	(24)
		Cincinnati Bengals sign QB Jordan Palmer to back up older brother Carson	(31)
		Wake Forest rocking, shocking the ACC	(30)
		Indianapolis columnist admits Belichick is a genius. Just kidding... he says it was dumb luck	(55)
(Some Guy)		A brief rundown on Super Bowl logos past and present. WTF, XII?	(93)
		NPR shows how in touch they are with the average football fan by scripting a Shakespearian drama about the Super Bowl	(34)
		Olli Jokinen questioned about possible drug ring ties, and not because he wants to stay with the Panthers	(15)
		Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) unimpressed by Clemens report, pointing out that 5 pitchers it says pitched into their 40s -- including him -- actually didn't, and sucked at the end anyway	(17)
		Damon Stoudamire will give the Spurs the old 'I just got bought out so I'll piggyback on the team that's going to win the finals' discount	(18)
		Red Wings throw Darren McCarty sympathy bone	(29)
		Colorado Rockies to sign Scott Podsednick two years too late	(27)
		Death of sportswriter Bob Ryan's son upgraded from suicide to possible murder	(17)
(Outside)		Double-amputee "blade runner" appeals decision barring him from Olympic competition, even after test proves he's more human than human	(25)
(Some Guy)		Jason Kidd is going back to Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, Jason Kidd is going back to Dallas, Dallas, Dallas. For Josh Howard? I don't think so	(31)
		NHL power rankings: Plenty for Red Wings fans to feel smug about, not so much for Kings supporters	(52)
		One of nation's top high school QBs turns down Arizona State and Boise State to attend Duke. Is expected to start sucking any day now	(28)
(Serious Sports News Network)		Tom Petty to just play "Guitar Hero III" for Super Bowl halftime show. "I'm just going to biatch DragonForce on 'expert,' which should be enough show for everyone"	(61)
		Ticket to a NASCAR race in 1986: $30. 12-pack of Bud: $6. Stealing the pacecar: Priceless	(41)
		Turns out Andy Pettitte does know how to quit Roger Clemens	(47)
		The dark truth about this weekend: Super Bowl parties almost always suck	(72)
		Starting lineup announced for Puppy Bowl IV	(39)
(Some Guy)		Lingerie Bowl cancelled. Now we're just stuck watching football	(35)

(Some Guy)		Spanish reporter asks Tom Brady to marry her. Dreamboat lets her down easy (with video goodness)	(46)
(Some Guy)		Barbaro laid to rest at Churchill downs, next to Hoffa and the three original members of Menudo	(7)
		Wheeling Nailers hockey team hosts Shred Rich Rodriguez Night. Bring a photo or news clipping about the ex-WVU coach and get $2 off admission. Bonus: Wear Michigan colors and your ticket will cost double	(34)
		Slate turns its investigative reports loose on the story we really want to know about: Why are there so many hot Russian tennis players?	(28)
		In an effort to provide fans with the very latest on his restraining order escapades, Randy Moss now has his own official search engine	(12)
		Twins agree to send Johan Santana to the Mets for a bucketload of overhyped magic beans	(140)
		SI hiring look-alikes of Tiger Woods and other famous golfers for cover to resemble Da Vinci Last Supper (spoiler alert: Fuzzy Zoeller as Judas)	(10)
		Journalists hammer Tom Brady with hard hitting questions at Super Bowl press conference. For example, "Will you marry me?" (with fairly hot wedding dress-wearing reporter photo)	(35)
		Advocacy groups lining up to be pissed off by this year's Super Bowl ads	(40)
		It's official: Yahoo Sports has passed ESPN.com in traffic, revenue	(58)
		5'9" not good enough for the NFL? Wes Welker disagrees	(49)
		Rutgers to go ahead with football stadium expansion without funding in place. What could possible go wrong?	(28)
(The Times Union)		Major League Baseball dumps The Hall of Fame game because they don't make a pile of money on it. No, wait, it's because of scheduling problems, yeah that's it, scheduling problems	(26)
		Federal security officials designate Super Bowl as "level one" special event, just below the president's State of the Union address (as if anybody actually watches the latter)	(10)
		Tom Brady has a sore ankle? Why hasn't anyone noticed half the Giants players have the flu??	(48)
		NFL genius Daniel Snyder decides that he is smart enough to fill all the assistant coaching positions before hiring a head coach	(48)
(NY Daily News)		Jason Kidd wants out of New Jersey. Doesn't everybody?	(35)
		Not news: NY newspaper posts a new flash game that involves hitting Tom Brady in the head with a mallet. Fark: It ain't the NY Post. How about dat?	(15)
		Kansas athletic director worried that Mangino's weight may be a concern. Suggests gastric bypass to Mangino, is promptly eaten	(20)
		T. Owe	(34)
		Howard University men's soccer coach arrested after trying to score. If you guessed "with 13-year-old girl," give yourself 10 points	(24)
		WNBA players nearing approval of new six-year labor deal after shorter negotiations. Oh, come on... who actually thinks the WNBA will still be around in six years?	(34)
(Amazon.com)		No need to watch the Super Bowl -- according to the Boston Globe, the Pats have already won	(487)
		Boston's only concern? The Super Bowl victory party will coincide with the Massachusetts primaries	(33)
		That coach that benched nearly half her team because of their attitude? She won last night with only six players	(19)
		"The Tiger Woods Effect," or how Tiger turns every other golfer into a gibbering lump come tournament time	(20)
		Globetrotter Curly Neal reveals why he first shaved his head. (Hint: It wasn't because he was losing his hair)	(17)
		Dwyane Wade says snapping Miami Heat's 15-game losing streak "was like losing my virginity when I was 16." Interesting coincidence, as Heat season ticket holders have felt violated all season (with audio)	(14)
(Some Guy)		Pardon The Infarction: Michael Wilbon reportedly suffers mild heart attack	(42)
		14-year-old boy in England becomes national icon after being shown on TV crying at soccer game. Maple Leaf fans wonder what the big deal is, noting they do that every time Tomas Kaberle touches the puck	(33)
		New Zealand cops ban rugby fans from wearing Borat-style 'mankinis' to games. It's all about the children(Not safe for work-ish pic)	(8)
		Tom Brady attends practice...and continues limping. Peter King gets the buttermilk ready	(26)

		Coach Bill Belichick's record without Tom Brady on his side of the field: 41 wins, 56 losses	(47)
(TV Squad)		The producers of lie detector game show "The Moment of Truth" have invited Roger Clemens to appear on a celebrity edition	(11)
		It's as good as done. Princess the Camel has made her SuperBowl picks. Looks like the Giants are a lock to win the Superbowl. After all, Princess's picking record is 19-8 this year	(24)
(Some Blogger)		Coming to a redneck pool near you: underwater ice hockey. Subby wants to drive the underwater Zamboni	(21)
(Some Guy)		Isiah Thomas believes Knicks are a playoff team. At this point saying Isiah Thomas is the most delusional person on earth is an understatement	(30)
		Miami Dolphins: We found our new offensive coordinator. New Orleans Saints: Not so fast, pal	(9)
		Tim-foil hats on standby; Arsenal plays Man U in the 4th round of the FA Cup. Now, if only there was some way that the FA could ensure a tie	(42)
		Sportswriter says that even if the Pats win the Super Bowl to finish undefeated that they're not one of the all-time great teams. Yup, he's from San Diego	(205)
		One year after ripping his then teammates and coaches in the media, diva Tiki Barber stands a better chance at scoring a sit-down with Osama bin Laden than with Eli Manning or Michael Strahan at the Super Bowl	(42)
(Toronto Sun)		Changes could be coming to the NHL All-Star Game, including deleting the skills competition or even completely scrapping the game	(78)
		Baltimore Orioles deny that they have agreed to trade ace pitcher Erik Bedard to Seattle for package including center fielder prospect Adam Jones. In other words, it's a done deal	(51)
(Some Guy)		A breakdown of which Super Bowl team will get into more trouble this week	(34)